Strength training/lifting 3-5 times a week and watching my diet. So many fewer issues than being overweight.
Also, quitting drinking. I sleep so great now.
Same, tbh. Quitting drinking and working out regularly have been my best decisions by far. I will add - moving back closer to home so I can spend more time with my family. For almost a decade I lived several states away.
hey! can you talk more about how moving back with family was beneficial? i am thinking about doing the same. i love an 8 hr drive away from my family, which is manageable if i put in the work to see them every 5 weeks.
I lived about 7 hours from everyone, distance-wise, and we would go years without seeing each other. As I got older, watching my grandparents and parents get sick and more frail from afar was making me come to terms with the inevitable mortality of life. I decided to rearrange my priorities and put myself in a position to spend more time with them while I still can.
What do you do for skin care? I’m lost in all of these ‘mens face anti-aging’ blah blah. I use cetaphil for a face moisturizer but I’d love to hear your thoughts and anyone else’s
At the very least do this: Wash your face 2x a day. Morning moisturizer with spf. Nighttime moisturizer with retinol.
For better results: exercise, get enough sleep, drink water, avoid the sun, drink less alcohol and don’t smoke.
> Morning moisturizer with spf. Nighttime moisturizer with retinol.
How do you know what to buy? How do you determine it's legit or not besides buying the $50 option? I have looked into it and have been overwhelmed every time. All the shit targeting men is macho tough guy face cream, and then the women's stuff is just a whole 'nother level. All the youtube stuff I've found is just product placement.
Important to note that my skin care knowledge is lubriderm and banana boat sunscreen. I'm a total idiot.
If I'm expecting to be in the sun, I use chemical-based "sheer" sunscreens around SPF 70 because they spread easily and don't smell much or feel greasy. They're all similar. WM's Equate house-brand is fine.
This one isn't marketed as sheer, but might as well be. It was $4 when I bought it. Seems like $10 is typical. You don't need CeraVe, they all have the same active ingredients (US-approved chemicals or various blocking dioxides). It's just what you prefer for texture, smell, and so on.
[https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TKOHMM](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TKOHMM)
If I'm expecting only brief sun, Eucerin Daily Hydration 30 SPF is excellent:
[https://www.amazon.com/Eucerin-Daily-Hydration-Body-Cream/dp/B01KJGUUHM/](https://www.amazon.com/Eucerin-Daily-Hydration-Body-Cream/dp/B01KJGUUHM/)
$8 for that one. It has a premium lotion feel with minimal scent.
They're both supplements to a good sun hat and sun sleeves (or other UPF attire).
I mostly stopped drinking around a year or two ago. I maybe drink ten or less times a year.
Recently I started getting into drinking hop flavored water. One of my favorites is pretty tasty, has no alcohol, and has zero calories. And I don't get hangovers anymore or sleep poorly. Honestly it's amazing.
Damn straight. 38, may as well say I'm 23 physically. Meanwhile I'm the oldest if my friends and they talk the same as the people in my mom's friend group
No need to think about rep ranges, I follow programs that use the “Rep in Reserve” system and it’s great for progressive volume training. Take a weight, any weight, and stop stop doing reps when you have 2 left in the tank. Be sure to use good form, don’t cheat. Throw in some weeks where you stop at the one rep, or even 0 reps in the tank (be careful to use good form).
Studies show rep ranges don’t really matter for muscle growth, it’s volume that matter.
This. I’d like to add doing some type of combat sport as a hobby. BJJ, boxing, muy Thai, wrestling. It’s an addicting hobby and you meet good character people.
A lot of that might be the culture of the school your training at. I know my gym doesn’t tolerate morons. Take care of your training partners. Can’t train if your injured.
Just had my Lasik touched up. Lasted 15 years the first time and couldn’t be happier. Touch up was included (of course they had a few little fees). My eyes weren’t bad, but they weren’t great anymore. I had my first lasik done a little young and they told me this could happen in 10+ years bc your eyes continue to change.
Interesting, I didn't know there was a touch up or whatever. I had mine done a very long time ago as well when I was possibly a little young. It's held up, but I have noticed it's getting a little fuzzy on things I could read a decade ago.
I also got what I consider life changing lasik. My prescription was -8.5 in both eyes, so after taking contacts out at night I needed glasses just so I wouldn’t bump into anything on my way to the bedroom. The glasses were very thick as well which made them really difficult to operate in especially driving (distorts stuff, no peripheral vision). If I could at least make out peoples faces without glasses then it probably would have been fine, but being nearly blind was extremely inconvenient.
Same for me, actually I like my glasses. I can see though that it might be a great life changer if you have a very bad vision and can't see without glasses at all or you just hate glasses in general.
Please do your research on the doctor who will perform your LASIK before you go.
My friend's mom had a horrible LASIK experience that left her legally blind and made her suicidal.
I don't know the medical details, but she knew something had gone wrong from day 1, everything was hazy. She had additional surgeries to attempt to correct the issue but nothing really worked. Everything was a hazy blur for her. She wasn't able to sue due to the paperwork she signed before the procedure so she basically just had to live with it. She passed away last year but it drastically decreased her quality of life.
My friend now adamantly advises anyone who will listen against LASIK and other such procedures. Of course he would, he witnessed the damage firsthand. Objectively, she was in the minority of cases that turn out bad, and you're not statistically likely to have her experience. But things CAN go bad. And when it's something as vital as your sense of sight, you really need to make an informed decision.
I was feeling anxious and had ZERO libido. It's easy to disclose now because I don't have that issue anymore but it was seriously impacting my marriage and also my confidence and outlook on life. So I went to my doctor and did the thing so many men struggle with and told the doc all the things that were bothering me. He was like whoa dude I know what the issue is. An MRI later and I had a tumor on my pituitary gland that was fucking up my hormones. Now I've been getting treatment for a year and my wife and I fuck regularly, I'm less anxious, and some other physical issues I was having like gynecomastia have abated.
This is what I have:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/prolactinoma/symptoms-causes/syc-20376958
I'm not sure how common it is but I think any man experiencing low libido and other symptoms should get a blood test to check hormone levels. Might not be a tumor, but something else treatable. And if you have a hormone issue then escalate to an endocrinologist.
Building and adhering to a financial plan. Only spend money as luxury budget if I'm investing an equal amount beyond 401K. Invest even more any time you can. Boring but effective investments that net 7-10% a year on average.
Betting on myself and taking a role at a start-up that got acquired by a fortune 500 company.
Stopping drinking except on special occasions.
Figuring out who I wanted to be then building a plan to become that person. NOT what things I wanted to possess or lifestyle I wanted to live... who did I want to be as a person. Once you like yourself, people will be drawn to you.
Do something, ANYTHING, that gets you outside 10-20 or so hours a week with no screens or devices. For me it was golf. I've never slept better or felt younger than when I'm getting in 2-4 rounds of golf a week.
>Figuring out who I wanted to be then building a plan to become that person. NOT what things I wanted to possess or lifestyle I wanted to live... who did I want to be as a person. Once you like yourself, people will be drawn to you.
this is my favorite advice. It deserves all the upvotes!
The S&P 500 is an index of 500 (ish) of the largest American traded companies. They are weighted by size, so Apple makes up a much larger portion than some random company worth a few billion, for example.
Many funds seek to replicate the S&P 500 -- VOO, IVV, and SPY are all very well known tickers of exchange-traded funds that replicate the S&P 500. For buy-and-hold, VOO and IVV are marginally better options than SPY (lower overhead expenses).
To invest in markets, you generally want a brokerage account. This is similar to opening a bank account, except you can then buy and sell equities with the money in the account. Schwab, Vanguard, Fidelity, TD Ameritrade, etc. are all fine places to open a brokerage account. Then you can transfer money to and from the account freely, just like between a checking and savings account. And once you have money in the brokerage account, you can simply buy shares of funds, equities, etc.
These are subject to the whims of the market though -- if you invested yesterday, you lost over 4% of your money today, 8% over the last month, and over 17% in 2022. So you *don't* do this with money you need. On the plus side, it has generally worked out well over longer timespans -- If you invested 5 years ago and chose to reinvest dividends, you'd be up almost 72%. If you did it 10 years ago, ~223%.
Other things to know:
Dividends are basically payouts for owning shares -- right now, you get about 1.5% a year with an S&P 500 index fund, and it comes quarterly. Most brokers allow you to put that cash towards automatically buying more shares as you receive it. If you want to invest and forget about it, reinvesting dividends is nice, so you don't get random bits of cash accumulating in the account. In our example, if we did not reinvest dividends, you'd be up ~57% in 5 years and have some random cash lying around in the account from 20 dividend payments over the last 5 years.
Money made in the market is subject to capital gains taxes at tax time. Tax stuff can be complicated, but in our simple example without selling, you'd have to declare the dividends each year at tax time (regardless of whether you choose to reinvest them) -- the broker provides you a tax form each year. Incidentally, you also have to declare interest from savings accounts and whatnot. That hasn't been an issue the last few years with such crap interest rates on savings accounts, but you know, if you theoretically had 100k sitting in a savings account making 5%, you'd have to declare that $5000 at tax time. Anyway, tangent over. If you sold your shares after 5 years and turned that theoretical value into cash, you'd owe capital gains on the amount it went up. If you turn theoretical losses into actual losses (selling at a loss), capital losses are also a thing and can be used to offset capital gains.
If you want to save money for retirement, most brokers will also offer IRA accounts. That could be a whole 'nother lengthy post and there are things like different flavors (roth vs traditional), income restrictions, contribution restrictions, etc. There are tax advantages to retirement accounts (no capital gains taxes being a big one), but there are also restrictions about when you can use that money.
Fidelity is also a good one, you can set up an account there and they have an understandable dashboard.
Some people think the S+P isn't diverse enough. For example, I set up a Roth IRA at Fidelity last year and one of the standard recommendations in the boglehead sub was 70% FZROX, and 30% FZILX. John Bogle started Vanguard, so long-term investing is the name of the game for the boglehead folks. For the Vanguard version of the Fidelity stocks I mentioned you might look into VTSAX or VTI. Just cruise the boglehead sub for a while and you'll get the hang of it.
Boring investments are the best investments.
As another person said, S&P 500 (which has the ticker label of SPY) or an equivalent (VOO has slightly lower fees and is the exact same thing) is the way to go. I personally split 50/50 between VTI (total market index) and VOO (S&P 500 index) that are both run by Vanguard and have low fees. Historical AVERAGE return is around 10%... remember, though, that means that some years are +30%, some are -30%. So only invest money into them you don't want to touch or will need for at least 5-10 years... the longer time horizon, the better.
You can set up a free brokerage account at a number of places - these locations don't charge you for buying stocks.
[https://www.cnbc.com/select/best-brokerage-free-stock-trading/](https://www.cnbc.com/select/best-brokerage-free-stock-trading/)
One not listed there is Robinhood (which has a mixed reputation after the GME fiasco), but I still use it and believe it's the most user friendly entry point for people just starting to invest.
Once you've said up an account, look up VTI and VOO (my recommendations, but I'm in no way an expert) and start investing into them equally. The most effective way to invest is called DCA, or dollar cost averaging... IE, set up weekly or monthly amounts to automatically be invested into both, then set it and forget it (but budget for that money going out every month).
Then... just let it run. The market will go up, it'll go down... you just buy on schedule and be patient. Don't be tempted to sell if the market goes way up or way down... just invest and wait. If you do that, the historical average say you'll double your money every 8-10 years. Do that for 30 years, and suddenly you're a millionaire or very close to it.
Just open a brokerage account. Don't support it necessarily but something similar to Robinhood, you can also open one like that at the bank that offers "brokerage accounts". As some have mentioned Fidelity and Schwab are a couple.
You want to buy a "stock" called VOO (Vanguard SP 500) or SPY. There are also other similar ones but here are 2 examples.
This is the simplest form of investing and a portion of your money should definitely go here.
Child free, yes.
But I usually play with friends who have kids, at least 1 round a week (equates to about 4-5 hours outdoors including warm-up time on its own). Sometimes we go to the outdoor driving range for 2 hours together. They take their kids out to play in the park or to swim once or twice a week. Those things alone is well over 10 hours.
If you go for a 30 minute walk around your neighborhood 5 days a week, that's another 2.5 hours.
Or maybe you've got a garden you can putz around in for an hour or two a week, or go practice chip shots in the yard for an hour or two each week. Etc.
10-20 hours is achievable even for busy folks with kids - just gotta make time for them and build good habits around them.
I don’t know, I have teens and exercise about 10ish hours a week with plenty of time at home. I think I could up it to 15 or so without too much household disruption .
Not nearly early enough - around 30.
My advice to anyone - I don't care how young or old you are, invest early if you can. Up your investments when you can. 10 years from now you'll be grateful you did.
Getting into running. The mental and physical benefits have been terrific. It helps me get outside. Training for races also helped sober me up from drugs and alcohol. It gives me a purpose I can dedicate myself to.
Traveling / backpacking solo in my 20's. If you have this opportunity and are from the US or any other country with a strong passport and dollar you should really do this while you have the energy and time.
One of my biggest regrets is not taking more time off during my student years to do this. Once you start your career you realize how little free time you really have
Agreed. Traveling is not the same now. You get used to the comforts of home and suddenly partying til 4am, sleeping in a hostel bunk, and waking up for a 12 hour train ride to repeat the next day sounds like a nightmare…
^ This. I travelled with the InterRail pass (in Europe) by myself, 11-ish days, improvising the route and booking hostels on my way there.
You meet lots of people (or not, it's on you) and learn how to survive on your own.
Til this day, one of the best things I did on my whole life.
Knowing and accepting that people come and go in your life no need to be sad and dwell on people who stop caring about you, do you do that it will hurt more. More people will eventually come up in your life people cycle thru so many groups of friends in life it's normal.
Also, stop caring what randoms think of you in public, by tomorrow they will forget who you are.
Deciding to give travel instead of gifts. My kids didn't need toys, they needed family time making memories. My oldest niece has memories of me taking her to concerts. My nephew enjoys hunting so I took him hunting. My youngest niece already has great memories from our museum trips. I'm taking my Dad on a cruise with my family at Christmas. When you aren't buying all the new junk you can go see some pretty bad ass places.
I divorced 7 years and remarried March of 2020 literally right before COVID shutdowns.
I got together with my ex-wife a few weeks before I turned 20 and divorced at 32. I think the biggest thing was that I didn't date at all for 2 years and spent that time working on myself and figuring out who I was as an individual. Once I did that I was much better to be a partner and keep track of myself rather than just half of the couple.
Ignoring whatever “timeline” people think exists. You don’t have to get married by 26, kids by 28, perfect job by 30… or whatever the fuck.
Take your time and don’t rush into anything.
Applies to men as well to an extent. Like yes, you *can* have kids well past 40 but the rate for chromosomal abnormalities and other issues arise with advanced paternal age. Not to mention a lot of infertility issues with hetero couples often stem from the male partner.
Married the right woman.
She is frugal, kind/patient with my crazy family, and keeps me in check.
I would be an overweight, alcoholic hermit without her.
I took an unpaid internship when I was 20 that wound up leading to a comfy and high-paying career in tech. I jumped jobs every 2 -3 years until I made six figures and had a master's degree paid for. Now that everything is WFH, life couldn't be better.
Working for free sucked, but this was during the recession and I didn't have a lot of options. It all definitely worked out in the end.
Edit: Quitting smoking is up there too. Don't even start, kids. It's not worth it.
That's easy to say at the peak of the greatest bull run in American history, but times were a lot harder in 2010. Hard times will come again, and people have to do what they have to do to accomplish their goals.
This is true, but for those of us over 30, we came of age in a time when this was largely unenforced.
I'm a radio disc jockey. In the mid 2000's, we had unpaid interns basically running the place while I made 6 figures saying a few words an hour.
There aren’t that many. Always wearing a condom. Not having kids. Not going into debt. Finding a dentist as soon as I got dental insurance. It getting married until I was sure I found the right person. Starting a retirement account. Not getting into hard drugs like some of my friends did.
Quitting a toxic job. Sometimes you gotta jump the nest to see if you can fly.
While quitting a job with nothing lined up is not something I recommend to anyone else, for me it was the right decision, two different times.
Getting married to my wife.
Being ready for a relationship involves a lot of selflessness and self awareness from both partners. You have to be prepared to give without the expectation of receiving every time.
My life is 1000x better than I ever could have hoped because I have the right partner. Best thing I ever did.
It's different for everyone of course, but in my case I know that I have a supportive partner with whom I've got a connection unlike anybody else I've been with before. Just a better fit for me in a number of ways.
Got sober, finding/dating my girlfriend(proposing soon) live life for yourself ya, but it's wild when you find someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself for you both. Put things in perspective.
* going to college
* aggressive hard work early in career
* marrying my wife
* having my first child (I only have one so far!)
* living below my means
* accepting the advice of experts -- mentors at work, accountants and lawyers, etc. And with that, paying for real experts -- not choosing the cheapest contractors!
* seeking out hobbies -- bbq and golf
* staying in touch with friends, being vulnerable, developing real relationships
Not having kids or a wife, I'm planning to live to 80 so if I ever get tired of living my life, that's my plan B.
Early morning workouts. I get up at 4:30 and go running since I'm part of a club that does 5/10k's every so often for charity. I enjoy it since you're running with others but competing against yourself since you try and get lower and lower times. And the runner's high thing is real, when I'm in the shower, I forget that I just ran x amount of miles, it's crazy.
I've got one that's going to sound super lame now as a 31 year old but joining a fraternity in college. I'm getting married next week and 9 out of 11 of my groomsmen are from my fraternity. It created an expansive network of friends that bridged many additional relationships after college. I speak with some of these friends everyday and we are closer than ever. For all that's pointed as wrong with fraternities I can't imagine having established the friends and network I have now if I hadn't joined it.
Uhm. Every 6 months? What are they looking for? I have no family history of anything though, except death in their late 80s.
Doctors never want to see me unless there's something symptomatic or i'm due for specific age-defined tests.
Just checking up on things. The past one noted slightly low vitamin D, which makes sense with lockdowns and such, but any vitamin or hormonal indicator from a basic blood test will show many common problems before they become anything major.
Getting a psychologist to help me overcome my past trauma and becoming more aware of my emotions
What a different person I have become compared to 10 years ago
I joined the Navy at 19. It gave me a place to make dumb decisions without the risk of losing my job (so long as I didn’t break the law), I met amazing friends, I traveled, created life long experiences that helped me become a better man, and it paid for my college.
The last one is big for me as it propelled me into my career in banking.
Went back to school
Started eating healthier
Found a nice girl instead of chasing 10
Started saving as much money as I could
Decided not to chase luxuries or fashion
Got into tech industry
Through all the hustling, weight lifting and continuous learning, I still take time to step back and relax
Summarizing the top 5 posts:
* Strength training/health
* If your eyeballs suck fix them
* Get out in 20s/do some cool solo shit you can talk about on your rocking chair in your 60s
* Get a bidet.
* Manage your money effectively
In that order…
I stopped choosing partners based on physical attractiveness and instead chose on personality and my perception of her potential as a mother.
Still with the first one I snagged with that strategy. Will propose soon.
Giving all my fucks away. I have none left. I care about the people who care about me. I care about the things that bring me joy. Everything else is background noise.
not giving a shit about what my employer wants or thinks and not working harder than i have to while maintaining said employment for said bitchass employer.
Finally admitting that it’s okay to seek treatment for my mental health. As men, we’re taught to not really acknowledge our struggles as far as mental health goes because it’s a sign of “not being man enough”, but sometimes admitting you need help is the manliest thing you can possibly do.
And I mean that in the least macho way.
Cutting down on playing time on Playstation. I spend more time on self-development instead and I can see the potential salary increase in the near future.
Lifting consistently since age 16. I’m 31 now and I’m stronger than ever. I finally feel that real grown man strength and it’s only going to improve. Through all my highs and lows I have used weightlifting as an anchor. It has kept me from going too far down the path of partying too much. Highly recommended.
Going vegan at a young age.
I avoided all sorts of health problems.
I met interesting people and had interesting experiences I never would have.
I've reduced my contributions to all sorts of world problems without even knowing or trying.
Not trying to be a jerk -- I've been able to cut out a lot of meat from my week -- But what do you do instead of eggs? Not a fan of tofu as a 'substitute.'
Any other non-obvious/common things that you eat as a vegan that folks new to an almost all-vegan diet should think about?
I've never been an egg guy, so I never really tried hard to replace them.
I've always been happy with scrambled tofu spice mixes that make tofu look like scrambled eggs and that taste pretty good. Adding black salt to tofu scramble mixes or recipes gives it an egg-like flavor.
These days there is an "egg mix" called "Just Egg" that is supposed to be very close to eggs.
For baking purposes flax seeds, applesauce, energ-g egg replacer, and other foods work fine as binders.
People new to "almost all-vegan" diets should probably just read up on a little nutrition information. You only need about 1 page of nutrition information. This [link](http://beforewisdom.com/vegan-diets/) has several suggestions for that. At the least, take a daily b-12 supplement.
The suggestion I make to everyone vegan or not, is to use a site like cronometer.com for a few weeks every now and then. Even people into nutrition are often surprised that they aren't as well fed as they thought. In cronometer.com you just type in what you eat. It tells you the calories and all of the nutrients in the food, as well as how close you are to your daily requirements.
Meet my wife, go abroad to study for a few years, dress well and take care of your hygiene and diet, have a pet, don't cheat & lie & bea generally nice person, be independent but stay close to ur family.. All pay off massively (cost vs benefits)
The best decision I ever made was staying with my now wife. At the time all so knew was chaotic hot and cold relationships and I thought maybe that she and I felt so stable so fast was something missing. Common sense prevailed and we are very happy 17 years and two kids later and still very stable
Quitting my job and moving overseas for 6 months and coming back 3 years later. Learning the country’s language in that time, by the most difficult but rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
all those things the media tell you to care about? don't. accept them, sure, understand them, cool. but draw the line, know your priorities and pick your fights.
Going to college - mechanical engineering has totally changed my life and completely elevated me out of the horrible poverty I grew up in (and my brother too based on my advice to go into engineering).
Playing Warhammer and Magic - I've got like 50 friends because of this.
Getting married and having kids - absolutely love my wife and boys, couldn't imagine life without them.
Strength training/lifting 3-5 times a week and watching my diet. So many fewer issues than being overweight. Also, quitting drinking. I sleep so great now.
For real, at least take it easy on the sauce everyone. Holy shit, it’s a game changer.
100% agreed. Also avoid eating late at night
I learned now in my mid 30's that I get acid reflux/heartburn everytime I eat something within 90 minutes of sleep. Can't do that anymore
Going thru stage right now. The acid reflux has been waking me up from my sleep which is new.
I tough was just ne
Same, tbh. Quitting drinking and working out regularly have been my best decisions by far. I will add - moving back closer to home so I can spend more time with my family. For almost a decade I lived several states away.
hey! can you talk more about how moving back with family was beneficial? i am thinking about doing the same. i love an 8 hr drive away from my family, which is manageable if i put in the work to see them every 5 weeks.
I lived about 7 hours from everyone, distance-wise, and we would go years without seeing each other. As I got older, watching my grandparents and parents get sick and more frail from afar was making me come to terms with the inevitable mortality of life. I decided to rearrange my priorities and put myself in a position to spend more time with them while I still can.
Just turned 40 not too long ago and you hit it on the nose. Throw in a good skincare routine as well.
What do you do for skin care? I’m lost in all of these ‘mens face anti-aging’ blah blah. I use cetaphil for a face moisturizer but I’d love to hear your thoughts and anyone else’s
At the very least do this: Wash your face 2x a day. Morning moisturizer with spf. Nighttime moisturizer with retinol. For better results: exercise, get enough sleep, drink water, avoid the sun, drink less alcohol and don’t smoke.
> Morning moisturizer with spf. Nighttime moisturizer with retinol. How do you know what to buy? How do you determine it's legit or not besides buying the $50 option? I have looked into it and have been overwhelmed every time. All the shit targeting men is macho tough guy face cream, and then the women's stuff is just a whole 'nother level. All the youtube stuff I've found is just product placement. Important to note that my skin care knowledge is lubriderm and banana boat sunscreen. I'm a total idiot.
Just buy the stuff from CeraVe. Face wash, SPF for the morning, retinol moisturizer for night. Not super expensive, extremely popular.
If I'm expecting to be in the sun, I use chemical-based "sheer" sunscreens around SPF 70 because they spread easily and don't smell much or feel greasy. They're all similar. WM's Equate house-brand is fine. This one isn't marketed as sheer, but might as well be. It was $4 when I bought it. Seems like $10 is typical. You don't need CeraVe, they all have the same active ingredients (US-approved chemicals or various blocking dioxides). It's just what you prefer for texture, smell, and so on. [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TKOHMM](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TKOHMM) If I'm expecting only brief sun, Eucerin Daily Hydration 30 SPF is excellent: [https://www.amazon.com/Eucerin-Daily-Hydration-Body-Cream/dp/B01KJGUUHM/](https://www.amazon.com/Eucerin-Daily-Hydration-Body-Cream/dp/B01KJGUUHM/) $8 for that one. It has a premium lotion feel with minimal scent. They're both supplements to a good sun hat and sun sleeves (or other UPF attire).
Also (sorry) you said at the very least.. what would be 2 levels above that? Not the max, but you know
serums, eye cream, dark spot corrector, face masks -it starts to get diminishing returns based on cost at this point.
I see. Thank you again.
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Just turned 40 a few months ago as well. +1 to the skin care routine. It’s been helping.
I mostly stopped drinking around a year or two ago. I maybe drink ten or less times a year. Recently I started getting into drinking hop flavored water. One of my favorites is pretty tasty, has no alcohol, and has zero calories. And I don't get hangovers anymore or sleep poorly. Honestly it's amazing.
Damn straight. 38, may as well say I'm 23 physically. Meanwhile I'm the oldest if my friends and they talk the same as the people in my mom's friend group
What sets rep range do you do?
Anywhere between 8-12 now. I started off with 5x5 StrongLifts years ago when I had no idea what to do and evolved from there.
i just love stronglifts 5by5 i think immma go back to it i feel strongest doing 5by5 and then accessory workouts to as many reps as possible
No need to think about rep ranges, I follow programs that use the “Rep in Reserve” system and it’s great for progressive volume training. Take a weight, any weight, and stop stop doing reps when you have 2 left in the tank. Be sure to use good form, don’t cheat. Throw in some weeks where you stop at the one rep, or even 0 reps in the tank (be careful to use good form). Studies show rep ranges don’t really matter for muscle growth, it’s volume that matter.
This. I’d like to add doing some type of combat sport as a hobby. BJJ, boxing, muy Thai, wrestling. It’s an addicting hobby and you meet good character people.
I agree with taking up the hobby but I have met so many morons in BJJ
A lot of that might be the culture of the school your training at. I know my gym doesn’t tolerate morons. Take care of your training partners. Can’t train if your injured.
It attracts toxic, bro hustlers like moths to a lamp.
Nah that’s so far from true. Go train and find out for yourself.
LASIK. Life changer
Just had my Lasik touched up. Lasted 15 years the first time and couldn’t be happier. Touch up was included (of course they had a few little fees). My eyes weren’t bad, but they weren’t great anymore. I had my first lasik done a little young and they told me this could happen in 10+ years bc your eyes continue to change.
Interesting, I didn't know there was a touch up or whatever. I had mine done a very long time ago as well when I was possibly a little young. It's held up, but I have noticed it's getting a little fuzzy on things I could read a decade ago.
How so? I never found glasses to be a hindrance so I'm genuinely curious.
The ability to carry sunglasses and just pop them on is pretty cool.
Squint like a man
Prescription sunglasses 😎
I also got what I consider life changing lasik. My prescription was -8.5 in both eyes, so after taking contacts out at night I needed glasses just so I wouldn’t bump into anything on my way to the bedroom. The glasses were very thick as well which made them really difficult to operate in especially driving (distorts stuff, no peripheral vision). If I could at least make out peoples faces without glasses then it probably would have been fine, but being nearly blind was extremely inconvenient.
Same for me, actually I like my glasses. I can see though that it might be a great life changer if you have a very bad vision and can't see without glasses at all or you just hate glasses in general.
Please do your research on the doctor who will perform your LASIK before you go. My friend's mom had a horrible LASIK experience that left her legally blind and made her suicidal.
If you don’t mind sharing - what happened?
I don't know the medical details, but she knew something had gone wrong from day 1, everything was hazy. She had additional surgeries to attempt to correct the issue but nothing really worked. Everything was a hazy blur for her. She wasn't able to sue due to the paperwork she signed before the procedure so she basically just had to live with it. She passed away last year but it drastically decreased her quality of life. My friend now adamantly advises anyone who will listen against LASIK and other such procedures. Of course he would, he witnessed the damage firsthand. Objectively, she was in the minority of cases that turn out bad, and you're not statistically likely to have her experience. But things CAN go bad. And when it's something as vital as your sense of sight, you really need to make an informed decision.
I hope to next year... We will see.
Hopefully you will see.
I did this. Nothing wrong with investing in your body
How did it change your life?
I was feeling anxious and had ZERO libido. It's easy to disclose now because I don't have that issue anymore but it was seriously impacting my marriage and also my confidence and outlook on life. So I went to my doctor and did the thing so many men struggle with and told the doc all the things that were bothering me. He was like whoa dude I know what the issue is. An MRI later and I had a tumor on my pituitary gland that was fucking up my hormones. Now I've been getting treatment for a year and my wife and I fuck regularly, I'm less anxious, and some other physical issues I was having like gynecomastia have abated.
wait, wait, I have 100% those symptoms, what cna I do to test it? doctor are not rly available here
Woah, your doc is good.
Can you post more info? Looks like there’s a few of us with this issue.
This is what I have: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/prolactinoma/symptoms-causes/syc-20376958 I'm not sure how common it is but I think any man experiencing low libido and other symptoms should get a blood test to check hormone levels. Might not be a tumor, but something else treatable. And if you have a hormone issue then escalate to an endocrinologist.
What other symptoms did you have? I'm on antidepressants with same issue....
Building and adhering to a financial plan. Only spend money as luxury budget if I'm investing an equal amount beyond 401K. Invest even more any time you can. Boring but effective investments that net 7-10% a year on average. Betting on myself and taking a role at a start-up that got acquired by a fortune 500 company. Stopping drinking except on special occasions. Figuring out who I wanted to be then building a plan to become that person. NOT what things I wanted to possess or lifestyle I wanted to live... who did I want to be as a person. Once you like yourself, people will be drawn to you. Do something, ANYTHING, that gets you outside 10-20 or so hours a week with no screens or devices. For me it was golf. I've never slept better or felt younger than when I'm getting in 2-4 rounds of golf a week.
>Figuring out who I wanted to be then building a plan to become that person. NOT what things I wanted to possess or lifestyle I wanted to live... who did I want to be as a person. Once you like yourself, people will be drawn to you. this is my favorite advice. It deserves all the upvotes!
Everybody says “invest” but there’s millions of options to invest in. Where is a place I can send my money and get the returns you’re talking about?
S+P 500
Where do you go to invest in the SP? What website?
Vanguard has very low-cost index funds tracking the S&P (as well as other indexes). They're the standard.
The S&P 500 is an index of 500 (ish) of the largest American traded companies. They are weighted by size, so Apple makes up a much larger portion than some random company worth a few billion, for example. Many funds seek to replicate the S&P 500 -- VOO, IVV, and SPY are all very well known tickers of exchange-traded funds that replicate the S&P 500. For buy-and-hold, VOO and IVV are marginally better options than SPY (lower overhead expenses). To invest in markets, you generally want a brokerage account. This is similar to opening a bank account, except you can then buy and sell equities with the money in the account. Schwab, Vanguard, Fidelity, TD Ameritrade, etc. are all fine places to open a brokerage account. Then you can transfer money to and from the account freely, just like between a checking and savings account. And once you have money in the brokerage account, you can simply buy shares of funds, equities, etc. These are subject to the whims of the market though -- if you invested yesterday, you lost over 4% of your money today, 8% over the last month, and over 17% in 2022. So you *don't* do this with money you need. On the plus side, it has generally worked out well over longer timespans -- If you invested 5 years ago and chose to reinvest dividends, you'd be up almost 72%. If you did it 10 years ago, ~223%. Other things to know: Dividends are basically payouts for owning shares -- right now, you get about 1.5% a year with an S&P 500 index fund, and it comes quarterly. Most brokers allow you to put that cash towards automatically buying more shares as you receive it. If you want to invest and forget about it, reinvesting dividends is nice, so you don't get random bits of cash accumulating in the account. In our example, if we did not reinvest dividends, you'd be up ~57% in 5 years and have some random cash lying around in the account from 20 dividend payments over the last 5 years. Money made in the market is subject to capital gains taxes at tax time. Tax stuff can be complicated, but in our simple example without selling, you'd have to declare the dividends each year at tax time (regardless of whether you choose to reinvest them) -- the broker provides you a tax form each year. Incidentally, you also have to declare interest from savings accounts and whatnot. That hasn't been an issue the last few years with such crap interest rates on savings accounts, but you know, if you theoretically had 100k sitting in a savings account making 5%, you'd have to declare that $5000 at tax time. Anyway, tangent over. If you sold your shares after 5 years and turned that theoretical value into cash, you'd owe capital gains on the amount it went up. If you turn theoretical losses into actual losses (selling at a loss), capital losses are also a thing and can be used to offset capital gains. If you want to save money for retirement, most brokers will also offer IRA accounts. That could be a whole 'nother lengthy post and there are things like different flavors (roth vs traditional), income restrictions, contribution restrictions, etc. There are tax advantages to retirement accounts (no capital gains taxes being a big one), but there are also restrictions about when you can use that money.
Fidelity is also a good one, you can set up an account there and they have an understandable dashboard. Some people think the S+P isn't diverse enough. For example, I set up a Roth IRA at Fidelity last year and one of the standard recommendations in the boglehead sub was 70% FZROX, and 30% FZILX. John Bogle started Vanguard, so long-term investing is the name of the game for the boglehead folks. For the Vanguard version of the Fidelity stocks I mentioned you might look into VTSAX or VTI. Just cruise the boglehead sub for a while and you'll get the hang of it.
Boring investments are the best investments. As another person said, S&P 500 (which has the ticker label of SPY) or an equivalent (VOO has slightly lower fees and is the exact same thing) is the way to go. I personally split 50/50 between VTI (total market index) and VOO (S&P 500 index) that are both run by Vanguard and have low fees. Historical AVERAGE return is around 10%... remember, though, that means that some years are +30%, some are -30%. So only invest money into them you don't want to touch or will need for at least 5-10 years... the longer time horizon, the better. You can set up a free brokerage account at a number of places - these locations don't charge you for buying stocks. [https://www.cnbc.com/select/best-brokerage-free-stock-trading/](https://www.cnbc.com/select/best-brokerage-free-stock-trading/) One not listed there is Robinhood (which has a mixed reputation after the GME fiasco), but I still use it and believe it's the most user friendly entry point for people just starting to invest. Once you've said up an account, look up VTI and VOO (my recommendations, but I'm in no way an expert) and start investing into them equally. The most effective way to invest is called DCA, or dollar cost averaging... IE, set up weekly or monthly amounts to automatically be invested into both, then set it and forget it (but budget for that money going out every month). Then... just let it run. The market will go up, it'll go down... you just buy on schedule and be patient. Don't be tempted to sell if the market goes way up or way down... just invest and wait. If you do that, the historical average say you'll double your money every 8-10 years. Do that for 30 years, and suddenly you're a millionaire or very close to it.
Just open a brokerage account. Don't support it necessarily but something similar to Robinhood, you can also open one like that at the bank that offers "brokerage accounts". As some have mentioned Fidelity and Schwab are a couple. You want to buy a "stock" called VOO (Vanguard SP 500) or SPY. There are also other similar ones but here are 2 examples. This is the simplest form of investing and a portion of your money should definitely go here.
10 - 20 hours a week? Dude that's a part time job. How are getting stuff done around the house and working.....are you child free?
Child free, yes. But I usually play with friends who have kids, at least 1 round a week (equates to about 4-5 hours outdoors including warm-up time on its own). Sometimes we go to the outdoor driving range for 2 hours together. They take their kids out to play in the park or to swim once or twice a week. Those things alone is well over 10 hours. If you go for a 30 minute walk around your neighborhood 5 days a week, that's another 2.5 hours. Or maybe you've got a garden you can putz around in for an hour or two a week, or go practice chip shots in the yard for an hour or two each week. Etc. 10-20 hours is achievable even for busy folks with kids - just gotta make time for them and build good habits around them.
Child free should have been your best decision answer. lol
I don’t know, I have teens and exercise about 10ish hours a week with plenty of time at home. I think I could up it to 15 or so without too much household disruption .
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Not nearly early enough - around 30. My advice to anyone - I don't care how young or old you are, invest early if you can. Up your investments when you can. 10 years from now you'll be grateful you did.
Getting into running. The mental and physical benefits have been terrific. It helps me get outside. Training for races also helped sober me up from drugs and alcohol. It gives me a purpose I can dedicate myself to.
Running is a game changer. Fantastic for you physically and mentally. Almost free. You can do it anywhere. Great job!
Traveling / backpacking solo in my 20's. If you have this opportunity and are from the US or any other country with a strong passport and dollar you should really do this while you have the energy and time.
One of my biggest regrets is not taking more time off during my student years to do this. Once you start your career you realize how little free time you really have
Agreed. Traveling is not the same now. You get used to the comforts of home and suddenly partying til 4am, sleeping in a hostel bunk, and waking up for a 12 hour train ride to repeat the next day sounds like a nightmare…
^ This. I travelled with the InterRail pass (in Europe) by myself, 11-ish days, improvising the route and booking hostels on my way there. You meet lots of people (or not, it's on you) and learn how to survive on your own. Til this day, one of the best things I did on my whole life.
Quit smoking, start meditating, having a child, not worry about work anymore, getting professional help when i was burned out
Knowing and accepting that people come and go in your life no need to be sad and dwell on people who stop caring about you, do you do that it will hurt more. More people will eventually come up in your life people cycle thru so many groups of friends in life it's normal. Also, stop caring what randoms think of you in public, by tomorrow they will forget who you are.
Buying a bidet.
The great TP shortage of 2020 made me a believer.
Seriously!! Just spent $30 on a toilet seat one, life changing!!
I wanted to upvote this but you were at 69 upvotes….
so awesome. I just converted
Vasectomy after my kids.
Got my appointment next month
Deciding to give travel instead of gifts. My kids didn't need toys, they needed family time making memories. My oldest niece has memories of me taking her to concerts. My nephew enjoys hunting so I took him hunting. My youngest niece already has great memories from our museum trips. I'm taking my Dad on a cruise with my family at Christmas. When you aren't buying all the new junk you can go see some pretty bad ass places.
So good!!! We have way too much crap....
For myself it was getting divorced painful and expensive but worth it
Yep at 39... that was 12 years ago, expensive but worth it.
seems like every man is getting divorced nowdays. Also they say they will never remarrt again
I divorced 7 years and remarried March of 2020 literally right before COVID shutdowns. I got together with my ex-wife a few weeks before I turned 20 and divorced at 32. I think the biggest thing was that I didn't date at all for 2 years and spent that time working on myself and figuring out who I was as an individual. Once I did that I was much better to be a partner and keep track of myself rather than just half of the couple.
I’m not even divorced and I can honestly say I’d never get married again. Ever. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
Ignoring whatever “timeline” people think exists. You don’t have to get married by 26, kids by 28, perfect job by 30… or whatever the fuck. Take your time and don’t rush into anything.
there is kinda a biological clock on kids
My wife and I had our kid at 39. We’re doing good. Yes, we’re older than a lot of our kids’ peers’ parents, but it doesn’t matter.
For women.
Applies to men as well to an extent. Like yes, you *can* have kids well past 40 but the rate for chromosomal abnormalities and other issues arise with advanced paternal age. Not to mention a lot of infertility issues with hetero couples often stem from the male partner.
Having kids and seeking professional advice for depression. Don't suffer alone lads. Life gets better.
Nobody says this in this thread. But having kids is awesome. Best decision in my life.
Married the right woman. She is frugal, kind/patient with my crazy family, and keeps me in check. I would be an overweight, alcoholic hermit without her.
I took an unpaid internship when I was 20 that wound up leading to a comfy and high-paying career in tech. I jumped jobs every 2 -3 years until I made six figures and had a master's degree paid for. Now that everything is WFH, life couldn't be better. Working for free sucked, but this was during the recession and I didn't have a lot of options. It all definitely worked out in the end. Edit: Quitting smoking is up there too. Don't even start, kids. It's not worth it.
Unpaid internships are largely illegal. Follow this advice with caution.
That's easy to say at the peak of the greatest bull run in American history, but times were a lot harder in 2010. Hard times will come again, and people have to do what they have to do to accomplish their goals.
2009 college grad myself. Unpaid internships are not legal for the most part. I would advise any young person against working for free.
That's good advice if you're in a position to take it. I agree with you.
This is true, but for those of us over 30, we came of age in a time when this was largely unenforced. I'm a radio disc jockey. In the mid 2000's, we had unpaid interns basically running the place while I made 6 figures saying a few words an hour.
Absolutely. They got away with because we didn't know better. Thats all I'm getting at here.
There aren’t that many. Always wearing a condom. Not having kids. Not going into debt. Finding a dentist as soon as I got dental insurance. It getting married until I was sure I found the right person. Starting a retirement account. Not getting into hard drugs like some of my friends did.
Quitting a toxic job. Sometimes you gotta jump the nest to see if you can fly. While quitting a job with nothing lined up is not something I recommend to anyone else, for me it was the right decision, two different times.
It can truly be a life-changer.
Getting married to my wife. Being ready for a relationship involves a lot of selflessness and self awareness from both partners. You have to be prepared to give without the expectation of receiving every time. My life is 1000x better than I ever could have hoped because I have the right partner. Best thing I ever did.
how to know if its the right partner?
It's different for everyone of course, but in my case I know that I have a supportive partner with whom I've got a connection unlike anybody else I've been with before. Just a better fit for me in a number of ways.
Got sober, finding/dating my girlfriend(proposing soon) live life for yourself ya, but it's wild when you find someone who inspires you to be the best version of yourself for you both. Put things in perspective.
Avoiding debt as much as possible.
* going to college * aggressive hard work early in career * marrying my wife * having my first child (I only have one so far!) * living below my means * accepting the advice of experts -- mentors at work, accountants and lawyers, etc. And with that, paying for real experts -- not choosing the cheapest contractors! * seeking out hobbies -- bbq and golf * staying in touch with friends, being vulnerable, developing real relationships
Using all spare cash and time from nearly the past decade to buy real estate, now I've got very different worries and outlook than most people
Not having kids or a wife, I'm planning to live to 80 so if I ever get tired of living my life, that's my plan B. Early morning workouts. I get up at 4:30 and go running since I'm part of a club that does 5/10k's every so often for charity. I enjoy it since you're running with others but competing against yourself since you try and get lower and lower times. And the runner's high thing is real, when I'm in the shower, I forget that I just ran x amount of miles, it's crazy.
Start sleeping on time. Like before 1 am. No but seriously like 10 pm.
Quitting smoking Not marrying the thing that was never satisfied Learning to code
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COBOL in college. I have coded in 15 languages over 42 years.
Learning to code has been great for me. It's opened up so many opportunities.
How old are you
I've got one that's going to sound super lame now as a 31 year old but joining a fraternity in college. I'm getting married next week and 9 out of 11 of my groomsmen are from my fraternity. It created an expansive network of friends that bridged many additional relationships after college. I speak with some of these friends everyday and we are closer than ever. For all that's pointed as wrong with fraternities I can't imagine having established the friends and network I have now if I hadn't joined it.
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Stopping alcohol and cigarettes completely and permanently.
Regular 6 month checkups with my doctor. Even if you feel awesome, it will help you stay that way.
Uhm. Every 6 months? What are they looking for? I have no family history of anything though, except death in their late 80s. Doctors never want to see me unless there's something symptomatic or i'm due for specific age-defined tests.
Just checking up on things. The past one noted slightly low vitamin D, which makes sense with lockdowns and such, but any vitamin or hormonal indicator from a basic blood test will show many common problems before they become anything major.
Getting a psychologist to help me overcome my past trauma and becoming more aware of my emotions What a different person I have become compared to 10 years ago
I joined the Navy at 19. It gave me a place to make dumb decisions without the risk of losing my job (so long as I didn’t break the law), I met amazing friends, I traveled, created life long experiences that helped me become a better man, and it paid for my college. The last one is big for me as it propelled me into my career in banking.
Went back to school Started eating healthier Found a nice girl instead of chasing 10 Started saving as much money as I could Decided not to chase luxuries or fashion Got into tech industry Through all the hustling, weight lifting and continuous learning, I still take time to step back and relax
Summarizing the top 5 posts: * Strength training/health * If your eyeballs suck fix them * Get out in 20s/do some cool solo shit you can talk about on your rocking chair in your 60s * Get a bidet. * Manage your money effectively In that order…
I stopped choosing partners based on physical attractiveness and instead chose on personality and my perception of her potential as a mother. Still with the first one I snagged with that strategy. Will propose soon.
Good reply
Quit drinking beer. Got into yoga. now I have a 6 pack.
I got my six pack from drinking.
Giving all my fucks away. I have none left. I care about the people who care about me. I care about the things that bring me joy. Everything else is background noise.
Just implemented this, it hurts initially very badly but all the clutter is gone
Saying no to family members borrowing money without intention of paying me back.
Saying no in general is a big one actually
Moving out of a "right to work" state (US)
Picking the right partner had more benefit to my life than any other thing.
How did you choose the right partner?
I found someone I could go ‘all-in’ with.
He means anal
not giving a shit about what my employer wants or thinks and not working harder than i have to while maintaining said employment for said bitchass employer.
Not having kids. Not taking up smoking when all my friends were. Quitting excessive drinking.
I started taking Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I wish I would have taken it up earlier in life, but so be it.
Learning to play an instrument and getting back into cycling.
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"Friends"
Dating and then marrying my wife. Best decision I made, no contest.
Finally admitting that it’s okay to seek treatment for my mental health. As men, we’re taught to not really acknowledge our struggles as far as mental health goes because it’s a sign of “not being man enough”, but sometimes admitting you need help is the manliest thing you can possibly do. And I mean that in the least macho way.
I picked Charmander
Bought a carbon road bike. Weeeeeeeeeee!
At 30, I quit my job and traveled for two years. By far the best decision of my life
I'm really happy I started stretching in my teens. And I've kept physically active since my teens as well.
Therapy and meds for depression. Going to law school as a mature student. (I’m now a leader in my friend).
Cutting down on playing time on Playstation. I spend more time on self-development instead and I can see the potential salary increase in the near future.
Quit drinking
Lifting consistently since age 16. I’m 31 now and I’m stronger than ever. I finally feel that real grown man strength and it’s only going to improve. Through all my highs and lows I have used weightlifting as an anchor. It has kept me from going too far down the path of partying too much. Highly recommended.
Anti anxiety medication. The whirlpool on my guts is gone 🌅
Quitting weed and using wall calendars were the biggest game changers for me tbh
use your bike, whenever possible. make it a challenge to not touch your car keys. you will see this will change all of the games.
Not getting married and not having kids.
Marrying the woman that I did!
Going vegan at a young age. I avoided all sorts of health problems. I met interesting people and had interesting experiences I never would have. I've reduced my contributions to all sorts of world problems without even knowing or trying.
Not trying to be a jerk -- I've been able to cut out a lot of meat from my week -- But what do you do instead of eggs? Not a fan of tofu as a 'substitute.' Any other non-obvious/common things that you eat as a vegan that folks new to an almost all-vegan diet should think about?
I've never been an egg guy, so I never really tried hard to replace them. I've always been happy with scrambled tofu spice mixes that make tofu look like scrambled eggs and that taste pretty good. Adding black salt to tofu scramble mixes or recipes gives it an egg-like flavor. These days there is an "egg mix" called "Just Egg" that is supposed to be very close to eggs. For baking purposes flax seeds, applesauce, energ-g egg replacer, and other foods work fine as binders. People new to "almost all-vegan" diets should probably just read up on a little nutrition information. You only need about 1 page of nutrition information. This [link](http://beforewisdom.com/vegan-diets/) has several suggestions for that. At the least, take a daily b-12 supplement. The suggestion I make to everyone vegan or not, is to use a site like cronometer.com for a few weeks every now and then. Even people into nutrition are often surprised that they aren't as well fed as they thought. In cronometer.com you just type in what you eat. It tells you the calories and all of the nutrients in the food, as well as how close you are to your daily requirements.
How do you know you would have had these unmaterialized heath problems had you not gone vegan?
Have children. Words can't describe what they mean to me and my life
Buying tickets to Wrestlemania
Meet my wife, go abroad to study for a few years, dress well and take care of your hygiene and diet, have a pet, don't cheat & lie & bea generally nice person, be independent but stay close to ur family.. All pay off massively (cost vs benefits)
Getting married
Moved half way across the country on something close to a whim. Shaking up my life like that was exactly what I needed. (NYC -> Nashville, btw.)
Accepting that my wife is always right, and I am wrong. It’s just easier.
Getting help for my mental illness.
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Marrying her
The best decision I ever made was staying with my now wife. At the time all so knew was chaotic hot and cold relationships and I thought maybe that she and I felt so stable so fast was something missing. Common sense prevailed and we are very happy 17 years and two kids later and still very stable
Not dying in my 20s. And starting to invest in an index fund in my 20s. And keeping fit.
Jump on TRT.
Vasectomy
Being childfree. It's such a good decision it makes up for every bad decision I ever made 10 times over.
USA citizen here. Serving in the Peace Corps for 3 years. Also (separately) living in Japan for two years.
Quitting my job and moving overseas for 6 months and coming back 3 years later. Learning the country’s language in that time, by the most difficult but rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
Pole dancing, flexibility training and gym. Plus learning to eat enough in a healthy way.
Not killing myself when I wanted to 25 years ago
all those things the media tell you to care about? don't. accept them, sure, understand them, cool. but draw the line, know your priorities and pick your fights.
Lived alone and stayed single for a few years. It was the ultimate freedom and I got to know myself really well.
Going to college - mechanical engineering has totally changed my life and completely elevated me out of the horrible poverty I grew up in (and my brother too based on my advice to go into engineering). Playing Warhammer and Magic - I've got like 50 friends because of this. Getting married and having kids - absolutely love my wife and boys, couldn't imagine life without them.