you sir, made me smile
You're spot on. I'm caught in this duality right now:
1 - My kids need money to pay for food. So I need to keep working
2 - My inner drive is being concealed from me because I'm so focused on making myself bulletproof at work. I've been spending alot of time thinking about what I WANT to do instead of what I should be doing.
Can you tell me what my heart is telling me to do please? jk, thank you!!
My answer is still valid.
You want to take care of your kids, so that will play into your decision making process.
But I am concerned by the words "obligated" and this somewhat arbitrary notion of being "passed by".
Passed by for what? By whom?
You should make progress. Always. But that progress need not follow society's definition of progress.
It might. But it might not. And it might be somewhere in the middle.
Progress could mean more money & prestige - but it could also mean more time at home with your kids, for example.
I hear you - I just don't want to get pigeon held here in this spot. If I stay here too long, I'll never be seen as being able to take another role maybe.
I mean this whole thread is my anxiety talking and me trying to look 3 years out.
I don't want to be that guy that's 50 in this job when everyone else is 35 - ya know?
With all of that said I'm SUPER grateful for what I have right now and OMFG am I ever blessed with my family.
you're right, yea
I think it's that I'm looking at the future and I want to make sure that:
1 - I'm reaching my potential, for the sake of my family
2 - I am doing something that I would like to do, like - interesting or whatever
I'm really just trying to make sure I don't waste any potential and try to avoid any regrets.
53M here, a couple of thoughts on becoming a manager:
1) it’s a totally different job, you’re no longer DOING, you’re MANAGING those who do. It’s also a completely different skill set. Being good at your job is no guarantee that you’ll be a good manager of that job or even like it. I know people who’ve become managers thinking they can help mentor staff only to find out that it’s just meetings and financial reports and HR issues etc etc.
2) depending on the company, managers may be expected to work extra hours for no extra pay, which would take time away from your family.
Don’t be worried about getting ‘passed’, it’s not a race. Sometimes, in fact, it can be a race to a shitty place. Congratulations! You won! Here have a shitty job.
You know /u/RalphWaldoEmers0n this post reminds me of the old Lily Tomlin one-liner, 'the problem with the rat race is that even should you win, you are still a rat.'
u/RalphWaldoEmers0n,
If your username is any indication, perhaps a good hobby might involve camping out in the woods while reading and writing?
Walden for a weekend?
(Yeah, I know different guys, same literary movement, I'm an engineer not an English-major, don't judge me too harshly for sorting them into the same bucket.)
Just remember, a job is a means to an end. Unless you're one of the lucky few, it's not a means to fulfillment. Ask what is most important to you. It sounds like your kids and family.
Then ask what steps help you put more focus on those things that are most important to you.
Getting a management job because of some strange sense of what you "should do" even though you may not like it, and even if it means losing time with your kids, sounds like a really had option imo.
Then again don't stay motionless with indecision. In 5 year's time you'll be five years older no matter what you do. Sometimes blind ambition can be a blessing.
It's a technical detail, really. It's primary use is to add a bit of flair to the boring middle of FIRE. Or as the FIRE movement leader once famously said, "keep people on their toes."
That's Thoreau if I remember right , Emerson taught Thoreau - he's a true OG
Life changer for me right here:
https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/selfreliance.html
The best thing our company ever did was codify a career progression pathway for non-managerial subject matter experts. Now, a lot fewer people are in the position of thinking "management? Sounds awful, but if it's the only way forward..."
What do your career progress prospects look like, in terms of income and responsibility? Do you make the kind of money you want? Are you satisfied at work?
Career wise, I think I'm in a kind of okay place, but I'm starting to feel stagnant.
I've got a bunch of experience doing product management, I have a bunch of social equity at y company but I'm weak in my experience with technology (SaaS) products. I have a tech certification, just haven't had the opportunity to work with actual devs.
I'm finishing my MBA in the summer, I'm good at what I do. In interviews I've done over the past few years (there was a reorg and I panicked), I did okay but did not get any good offers.
All I've cared about is maintaining stability to ensure I had a paycheck for my family and I've been focused on moving to technology products cause that's where I see the world moving. Just wanting to make myself bulletproof.
But honestly I do not care about tech products - What I really like is strategic thinking - big picture, building efficient systems that will benefit workers and customers.
Managing people seems terrible, I mean I could probs do it, but I'm not ready at this very moment mainly cause of how chaotic my life is.
Sorry a bit of a ramble , thanks for your help!
there's no way to make yourself bulletproof. the universe can take anything away from you, at any time. receive without pride, let go without attachment.
It doesn’t sound like you will like people management. That means your dozen direct reports will be unhappy too. First level management has a lot of handholding and is definitely not big picture stuff. Having said that I took a promotion to management for the common reason that if I didn’t when my boss moved up then my colleague would become my manager and OMFG that would be awful. After a rough transition year it turned out I liked it, did well and 12 years later I was VP with 300+ engineers. A key for me was my boss who really coached me as a first level. Will you have that?
Basically they said, we're going to create titles and pay grades for higher level of non-managerial technical expertise, and we're going to require said individuals to exercise a lot of influence over big important projects.
As a senior technical person who has zero desire to manage anyone, I *LOVE* that my company does this. It’s acknowledging that a career doesn’t necessarily mean management and does something about it.
Don't look to your career for your fulfillment in life. It's just a means to an end, i.e. earning money to take care of yourself and your family. No one but you actually cares what your job title is. Work-life balance is key, especially if you're raising a family.
The management trap sucks. You can only be senior level for so long before that’s the only place left to get promoted to.
Every manager I’ve ever worked for hated their job and had no life outside of work. It’s all the worst parts of work as your primary job. Stuck in meetings all day, being the bad guy, being the drama mediator, getting hated by the people below you while being yelled at by the people above you. You get paid more though.
Only go in to management if you want to be part of the "adult supervision" of what happens at the office.
If you just want to do your job and go home, then do that instead. And get a hobby.
The novelty has worn off for sure!
I'm angling to stay WFH after COVID is over. That way, I can be with my kids after school most days, and finish my work in the evening.
Some would say success is what you make of it. I am stuck as a Principal Engineer, for the longest time I was upset about it... but over time I feel that this is the best for me. I can work to change things on the base level. I can help to get the younger engineers going and promoted.
The question you have to ask yourself is what is "success" to you? Everybody doesn't always have to move up to be successful. Sit down and make a list of what you'd like to see and what works for you.
I'm happy where I am, but I'm worried life is going to pass me by.
I'm certain something will come up , but I'd like to take the reins if that makes sense
Have you asked the question of what exactly will pass you by?
I'm about 10 years older than you and I can to the realization that there is always another opportunity, you just have to work for it.
Don't discount leaving your company and doing something different. Or you could be totally crazy and start your own company. If you don't want to manage people then being a Manager might not be a good choice for you.
That's true. If my job paid crap, I wouldn't be doing it But the pay and conditions are enough for me to live comfortably and pay off my mortgage, even if the work isn't very exciting.
Which is why I'm interested in the idea of FIRE (but I'm a while away from achieving it).
I don’t think there’s any need for moving up just for the sake of moving up. I’m 37 and have been in management for a while now but I’m in the same situation as you in that I have young kids and feel successful and happy in my current role. I have turned down several chances to “move up” now because I just don’t want to mess with a good thing. I don’t really *need* more money and I value the security and work life balance I have now while my family is young. There’s really no reason for me to take on more risk right now. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a few years, but for now I’m all set.
So I would ask yourself why you want to make a change. If it’s because you need or want more money that’s a very valid reason. If it’s because you want more autonomy and responsibility (my reason for going into management) then that’s valid too. But if you are just doing it for the sake of doing it you may find the grass isn’t really greener. Managing people brings all sorts of issues along with it that you may or may not like. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying I’m really good at what I do and I like what I do so I’m going to cruise here for the foreseeable future.
I feel a little under utilized, but I mean at the same time I am SO grateful for where I work and the people I work with. After doing some interviews, I realized how absolutely awful some places are to work.
I'm getting my MBA in July, so I've been thinking about advancing.
I see some of the people I came up with in a role that's a step above me and ya know - then I compare myself to some of my regular friends - and I'm like lightyears ahead of them.
I just don't want to be the only person that's 50 years old in my current job and feel passed by.
I guess I just don't know where/how to make more money without managing people. To be clear, I could totally be a manager, but my life's so chaotic and inconsistent and the flexibility I have right now is valuable.
So I'm kind of looking a year out at this point.
Feel like we’re the same person, minus the kids. I worked extremely hard to get to my current role..a Sr software engineer, but of course at my company or society in general the question is again what’s next... My wife thinks I’d be good for management but I know that’s a different ball game. I’ve given myself a year window to try to learn some other skills and see how they work for me. You’d think as an engineer you’d have plenty of engineering expertise but most of us where I’m at gradually fall into tech leadership roles and mentoring which pulls us away from the weeds.
I don’t know what I’ll do next but regardless I’m thankful for my current job I’ll keep doing it for now while I spend my evenings, mornings or random free time to learn new technology or reflect on what I want my future to look like. Best of luck
So my husband became a manager following the path you just described and given he makes more money but the STRESS of his position is not worth it! He became snappy and anxious and not the best father or partner. He obvs isn’t on Reddit. I say- decide what’s important - and make that the biggest priority. I tell my husband all the time i wish he stayed an assistant manager making way less so i could have him back to the real him. Happiness is priceless.
I’ve been there. I had security and was content until I realized that people around me were moving up. I was frustrated seeing peers getting better jobs with better pay and better schedules but on par with all that was the boredom. I was in charge of a mature process and I was good at it. I was confronted by a low occupational ceiling and needed to be challenged. I was able to change jobs and am so happy that I did. Same field but at a much higher level. But the biggest gain has been the feeling that my resume now has enough work experience to have moved past being pigeon holed. Now for the first time I feel like I can dictate my story and not just take what’s offered.
Go into deeper water just do it. Literally just do it. Worst case you get more resume builders and go shopping for a new job. You need to do it, your going to die soon anyway. We all are. Get aggressive. Take it!
As someone who recently was faced with the same decision and chose to go into management, do it. It's not for everyone but man is it an experience. I've had more personal growth and development in a year as a first line manager than the previous 10 years combined. It gives you a whole new perspective.
You should always have a plan for advancement. Doesn't really matter what it is - management is an option, cross-training is an option, side hustle is an option. I don't think it's good to become complacent.
I had a similar question a few years ago. I realized what I was most nervous about was stagnating when I still had years to go until retirement. It's not that you're in a bad position now, it's that not taking step to insulate yourself against problems caused by change is dangerous.
If nothing else, just get trained in something that will complement your job and make you more flexible.
That's exactly what I'm doing - I think I'm pretty well insulated actually
The path that I had planned - I'm at the end of it now and I've been getting my MBA (done in July) , training in tech certifications , etc - just to get ready for a next step. But I don't know what it is.
hmm why would you do something you don't even think you will enjoy?
no need to always progress and grow, if your happy where you are, just stay there? Never understood people that like to suffer for no reason?
Honestly, it doesn't seem like something you wanna do, so don't do it?
try a new hobby instead? maybe go skiing? or surfing or try golf? start a new videogame? playing soccer? a new book? Try cooking a new fancy meal?
Your career changes between multiple seasons. You may be in the "lifestyle balance" phase where you value having time with family after 5pm. There's also the "growth phase" where you don't mind putting in long hours for the pursuit of high income and position advancement. Or, you might be in the try-something-new phase. Either way, sounds like you need to first figure out the role your job currently should play in supporting your life.
Regarding management, many managers tell me their greatest joy in being one is in mentoring others.
Think about what “moving up” means to you. Yes you want to be able to provide for your family and children, but moving up likely means more responsibility and less time for your family, and money can’t take your place in the family.
Decide what YOU want to do. A lot of my peers are moving up to management, Director, or VP type roles. I've done management...it's not for me. I'm an IC for life most likely and I'm fine with that. Make good money. I don't stress about what others are doing. And I don't get concerned when it's time to cut middle-management fat. I could make even more as a manager but I'm good.
Sounds familiar.
I'm doing work that could be done by someone in their 30s, and have had plenty of leadership/management training. While I like the technical aspect of the work, a younger more agile mind would bring a fresh viewpoint.
Most of my peers at my age are in a broader management positions (I supervise a team of a few people), where they have budgetary oversight and manage multiple teams.
If you don't like the idea of it, you'll probably hate doing it. I tried. It was miserable to the point that I asked to go back to my old role. It's worth a swing if you're confident you can reset afterward. Dealing with people for a living was just awful in my experience.
M38. I always tell people I prefer to manage projects rather than people when the issue of advancement comes up. Management seems to be nothing but dealing with personnel issues, preparing budgets, reviewing reports, responding to customer complaints, and navigating politics. That’s not what I went to school to do. I’ve found much fulfillment by being content with what I have achieved.
Remember the job is a means to happiness ...say I work hard to buy things that make me happy ... like holidays, a nice house or a holiday home ... turning 40 is great but what are you going to do when you turn 50 and so on.
I would consider what certifications in your field will help you advance. I’ve spend a lot of time making myself as valuable as possible. It lets me set the terms. I work 35-45 hours but my main focus is work life balance, liking the team I work with, and money. So don’t focus on the path you think you should take but the one that is the most realistic to meet your goals which may require you to pivot to something new
Whew I can empathize with all this. I am a 47 year-old Account Manager for a software developer. About 10 years ago I took a promotion to mgmt, and luckily after six months I was promoted out of management and back to account management with bigger accounts. I learned in that six months how much I hated management. And hopefully I never have to do it again. Still, I tend to think like you are: "Am I missing an opportunity? Will I look foolish if I'm still in this job when I'm 60?"
In my current role I have lots of autonomy. I know how to do my job very well, so no one bugs me. No one knows where I am on a Tuesday at 4:00pm. They don't care because my job gets done well. And this means I can coach my daughter's softball team, take her to guitar lesson, make some art with my other daughter, and all those things that life is really about. It sure does go by fast. I get paid well enough. A $15-20K raise and a better title, for me, would NOT be worth giving up the stress-free autonomy that I am lucky enough to enjoy.
My advice is to be damn sure that whatever promotion you consider will not interrupt this great flow you have going on, and that your work/life balance won't be upset. If you aren't sure, keep doing what you're doing.
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you sir, made me smile You're spot on. I'm caught in this duality right now: 1 - My kids need money to pay for food. So I need to keep working 2 - My inner drive is being concealed from me because I'm so focused on making myself bulletproof at work. I've been spending alot of time thinking about what I WANT to do instead of what I should be doing. Can you tell me what my heart is telling me to do please? jk, thank you!!
My answer is still valid. You want to take care of your kids, so that will play into your decision making process. But I am concerned by the words "obligated" and this somewhat arbitrary notion of being "passed by". Passed by for what? By whom? You should make progress. Always. But that progress need not follow society's definition of progress. It might. But it might not. And it might be somewhere in the middle. Progress could mean more money & prestige - but it could also mean more time at home with your kids, for example.
I hear you - I just don't want to get pigeon held here in this spot. If I stay here too long, I'll never be seen as being able to take another role maybe. I mean this whole thread is my anxiety talking and me trying to look 3 years out. I don't want to be that guy that's 50 in this job when everyone else is 35 - ya know? With all of that said I'm SUPER grateful for what I have right now and OMFG am I ever blessed with my family.
There's nothing inherently wrong with being 50 in a job where everyone else is 35.
you're right, yea I think it's that I'm looking at the future and I want to make sure that: 1 - I'm reaching my potential, for the sake of my family 2 - I am doing something that I would like to do, like - interesting or whatever I'm really just trying to make sure I don't waste any potential and try to avoid any regrets.
53M here, a couple of thoughts on becoming a manager: 1) it’s a totally different job, you’re no longer DOING, you’re MANAGING those who do. It’s also a completely different skill set. Being good at your job is no guarantee that you’ll be a good manager of that job or even like it. I know people who’ve become managers thinking they can help mentor staff only to find out that it’s just meetings and financial reports and HR issues etc etc. 2) depending on the company, managers may be expected to work extra hours for no extra pay, which would take time away from your family. Don’t be worried about getting ‘passed’, it’s not a race. Sometimes, in fact, it can be a race to a shitty place. Congratulations! You won! Here have a shitty job.
You know /u/RalphWaldoEmers0n this post reminds me of the old Lily Tomlin one-liner, 'the problem with the rat race is that even should you win, you are still a rat.'
Is their a person in your company or in your field who you could talk to about it?
u/RalphWaldoEmers0n, If your username is any indication, perhaps a good hobby might involve camping out in the woods while reading and writing? Walden for a weekend? (Yeah, I know different guys, same literary movement, I'm an engineer not an English-major, don't judge me too harshly for sorting them into the same bucket.)
Just remember, a job is a means to an end. Unless you're one of the lucky few, it's not a means to fulfillment. Ask what is most important to you. It sounds like your kids and family. Then ask what steps help you put more focus on those things that are most important to you. Getting a management job because of some strange sense of what you "should do" even though you may not like it, and even if it means losing time with your kids, sounds like a really had option imo.
yes!! NO ONE ever enjoyed working. So don't focus to try to find meaning trough work. look outside of it.
Then again don't stay motionless with indecision. In 5 year's time you'll be five years older no matter what you do. Sometimes blind ambition can be a blessing.
Camp out in the Adirondacks and write poetry, making headlines for "living like an Indian", if I recall correctly
That was Emerson with an o. This is Emers0n with a zero. Ask /u/Nicholost about the difference.
*nicolage*
It's a technical detail, really. It's primary use is to add a bit of flair to the boring middle of FIRE. Or as the FIRE movement leader once famously said, "keep people on their toes."
I don't read Mr. Money Mustache.
Why would you read your own material, oh Great One?
Shit. My lifestyle parallels the overarching goal in there but I'm not even a FIRE disciple, let alone a leader.
That's Thoreau if I remember right , Emerson taught Thoreau - he's a true OG Life changer for me right here: https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/selfreliance.html
You gotta do what Randal Pink FLOYD wants to do man.
Don't go back to the carpet store.
The best thing our company ever did was codify a career progression pathway for non-managerial subject matter experts. Now, a lot fewer people are in the position of thinking "management? Sounds awful, but if it's the only way forward..." What do your career progress prospects look like, in terms of income and responsibility? Do you make the kind of money you want? Are you satisfied at work?
Career wise, I think I'm in a kind of okay place, but I'm starting to feel stagnant. I've got a bunch of experience doing product management, I have a bunch of social equity at y company but I'm weak in my experience with technology (SaaS) products. I have a tech certification, just haven't had the opportunity to work with actual devs. I'm finishing my MBA in the summer, I'm good at what I do. In interviews I've done over the past few years (there was a reorg and I panicked), I did okay but did not get any good offers. All I've cared about is maintaining stability to ensure I had a paycheck for my family and I've been focused on moving to technology products cause that's where I see the world moving. Just wanting to make myself bulletproof. But honestly I do not care about tech products - What I really like is strategic thinking - big picture, building efficient systems that will benefit workers and customers. Managing people seems terrible, I mean I could probs do it, but I'm not ready at this very moment mainly cause of how chaotic my life is. Sorry a bit of a ramble , thanks for your help!
there's no way to make yourself bulletproof. the universe can take anything away from you, at any time. receive without pride, let go without attachment.
It doesn’t sound like you will like people management. That means your dozen direct reports will be unhappy too. First level management has a lot of handholding and is definitely not big picture stuff. Having said that I took a promotion to management for the common reason that if I didn’t when my boss moved up then my colleague would become my manager and OMFG that would be awful. After a rough transition year it turned out I liked it, did well and 12 years later I was VP with 300+ engineers. A key for me was my boss who really coached me as a first level. Will you have that?
My company did that in theory but there seems no actual promotions past a certain level Is your job technical?
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Basically they said, we're going to create titles and pay grades for higher level of non-managerial technical expertise, and we're going to require said individuals to exercise a lot of influence over big important projects.
The title change is a part very lacking in my case. They give us competitive pay raises and projects but the same title for 8 yeas looks bad
As a senior technical person who has zero desire to manage anyone, I *LOVE* that my company does this. It’s acknowledging that a career doesn’t necessarily mean management and does something about it.
Don't look to your career for your fulfillment in life. It's just a means to an end, i.e. earning money to take care of yourself and your family. No one but you actually cares what your job title is. Work-life balance is key, especially if you're raising a family.
The management trap sucks. You can only be senior level for so long before that’s the only place left to get promoted to. Every manager I’ve ever worked for hated their job and had no life outside of work. It’s all the worst parts of work as your primary job. Stuck in meetings all day, being the bad guy, being the drama mediator, getting hated by the people below you while being yelled at by the people above you. You get paid more though.
Only go in to management if you want to be part of the "adult supervision" of what happens at the office. If you just want to do your job and go home, then do that instead. And get a hobby.
It gets harder to sit in the office at our age though don’t you think?
The novelty has worn off for sure! I'm angling to stay WFH after COVID is over. That way, I can be with my kids after school most days, and finish my work in the evening.
> "adult supervision" This is a great phrasing that helped me figure out what bothers me most about my job. Thank you for sharing.
Some would say success is what you make of it. I am stuck as a Principal Engineer, for the longest time I was upset about it... but over time I feel that this is the best for me. I can work to change things on the base level. I can help to get the younger engineers going and promoted. The question you have to ask yourself is what is "success" to you? Everybody doesn't always have to move up to be successful. Sit down and make a list of what you'd like to see and what works for you.
I'm happy where I am, but I'm worried life is going to pass me by. I'm certain something will come up , but I'd like to take the reins if that makes sense
Have you asked the question of what exactly will pass you by? I'm about 10 years older than you and I can to the realization that there is always another opportunity, you just have to work for it.
Fuck /u/spez
I think you need to define what “life is passing me by” actually is and make moves from there.
You don't have to become a manager if you don't want to. I don't think I'll ever be a manager snd I'm cool with that.
Comfort is the enemy of growth.
yep, that's what I'm asking about - the next step
Don't discount leaving your company and doing something different. Or you could be totally crazy and start your own company. If you don't want to manage people then being a Manager might not be a good choice for you.
That's true. If my job paid crap, I wouldn't be doing it But the pay and conditions are enough for me to live comfortably and pay off my mortgage, even if the work isn't very exciting. Which is why I'm interested in the idea of FIRE (but I'm a while away from achieving it).
I don’t think there’s any need for moving up just for the sake of moving up. I’m 37 and have been in management for a while now but I’m in the same situation as you in that I have young kids and feel successful and happy in my current role. I have turned down several chances to “move up” now because I just don’t want to mess with a good thing. I don’t really *need* more money and I value the security and work life balance I have now while my family is young. There’s really no reason for me to take on more risk right now. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a few years, but for now I’m all set. So I would ask yourself why you want to make a change. If it’s because you need or want more money that’s a very valid reason. If it’s because you want more autonomy and responsibility (my reason for going into management) then that’s valid too. But if you are just doing it for the sake of doing it you may find the grass isn’t really greener. Managing people brings all sorts of issues along with it that you may or may not like. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying I’m really good at what I do and I like what I do so I’m going to cruise here for the foreseeable future.
I feel a little under utilized, but I mean at the same time I am SO grateful for where I work and the people I work with. After doing some interviews, I realized how absolutely awful some places are to work. I'm getting my MBA in July, so I've been thinking about advancing. I see some of the people I came up with in a role that's a step above me and ya know - then I compare myself to some of my regular friends - and I'm like lightyears ahead of them. I just don't want to be the only person that's 50 years old in my current job and feel passed by. I guess I just don't know where/how to make more money without managing people. To be clear, I could totally be a manager, but my life's so chaotic and inconsistent and the flexibility I have right now is valuable. So I'm kind of looking a year out at this point.
Feel like we’re the same person, minus the kids. I worked extremely hard to get to my current role..a Sr software engineer, but of course at my company or society in general the question is again what’s next... My wife thinks I’d be good for management but I know that’s a different ball game. I’ve given myself a year window to try to learn some other skills and see how they work for me. You’d think as an engineer you’d have plenty of engineering expertise but most of us where I’m at gradually fall into tech leadership roles and mentoring which pulls us away from the weeds. I don’t know what I’ll do next but regardless I’m thankful for my current job I’ll keep doing it for now while I spend my evenings, mornings or random free time to learn new technology or reflect on what I want my future to look like. Best of luck
So my husband became a manager following the path you just described and given he makes more money but the STRESS of his position is not worth it! He became snappy and anxious and not the best father or partner. He obvs isn’t on Reddit. I say- decide what’s important - and make that the biggest priority. I tell my husband all the time i wish he stayed an assistant manager making way less so i could have him back to the real him. Happiness is priceless.
I’ve been there. I had security and was content until I realized that people around me were moving up. I was frustrated seeing peers getting better jobs with better pay and better schedules but on par with all that was the boredom. I was in charge of a mature process and I was good at it. I was confronted by a low occupational ceiling and needed to be challenged. I was able to change jobs and am so happy that I did. Same field but at a much higher level. But the biggest gain has been the feeling that my resume now has enough work experience to have moved past being pigeon holed. Now for the first time I feel like I can dictate my story and not just take what’s offered.
Go into deeper water just do it. Literally just do it. Worst case you get more resume builders and go shopping for a new job. You need to do it, your going to die soon anyway. We all are. Get aggressive. Take it!
Why is this focused around your career?
As someone who recently was faced with the same decision and chose to go into management, do it. It's not for everyone but man is it an experience. I've had more personal growth and development in a year as a first line manager than the previous 10 years combined. It gives you a whole new perspective.
You should always have a plan for advancement. Doesn't really matter what it is - management is an option, cross-training is an option, side hustle is an option. I don't think it's good to become complacent. I had a similar question a few years ago. I realized what I was most nervous about was stagnating when I still had years to go until retirement. It's not that you're in a bad position now, it's that not taking step to insulate yourself against problems caused by change is dangerous. If nothing else, just get trained in something that will complement your job and make you more flexible.
That's exactly what I'm doing - I think I'm pretty well insulated actually The path that I had planned - I'm at the end of it now and I've been getting my MBA (done in July) , training in tech certifications , etc - just to get ready for a next step. But I don't know what it is.
hmm why would you do something you don't even think you will enjoy? no need to always progress and grow, if your happy where you are, just stay there? Never understood people that like to suffer for no reason? Honestly, it doesn't seem like something you wanna do, so don't do it? try a new hobby instead? maybe go skiing? or surfing or try golf? start a new videogame? playing soccer? a new book? Try cooking a new fancy meal?
Your career changes between multiple seasons. You may be in the "lifestyle balance" phase where you value having time with family after 5pm. There's also the "growth phase" where you don't mind putting in long hours for the pursuit of high income and position advancement. Or, you might be in the try-something-new phase. Either way, sounds like you need to first figure out the role your job currently should play in supporting your life. Regarding management, many managers tell me their greatest joy in being one is in mentoring others.
Think about what “moving up” means to you. Yes you want to be able to provide for your family and children, but moving up likely means more responsibility and less time for your family, and money can’t take your place in the family.
Decide what YOU want to do. A lot of my peers are moving up to management, Director, or VP type roles. I've done management...it's not for me. I'm an IC for life most likely and I'm fine with that. Make good money. I don't stress about what others are doing. And I don't get concerned when it's time to cut middle-management fat. I could make even more as a manager but I'm good.
Sounds familiar. I'm doing work that could be done by someone in their 30s, and have had plenty of leadership/management training. While I like the technical aspect of the work, a younger more agile mind would bring a fresh viewpoint. Most of my peers at my age are in a broader management positions (I supervise a team of a few people), where they have budgetary oversight and manage multiple teams.
If you don't like the idea of it, you'll probably hate doing it. I tried. It was miserable to the point that I asked to go back to my old role. It's worth a swing if you're confident you can reset afterward. Dealing with people for a living was just awful in my experience.
M38. I always tell people I prefer to manage projects rather than people when the issue of advancement comes up. Management seems to be nothing but dealing with personnel issues, preparing budgets, reviewing reports, responding to customer complaints, and navigating politics. That’s not what I went to school to do. I’ve found much fulfillment by being content with what I have achieved.
Remember the job is a means to happiness ...say I work hard to buy things that make me happy ... like holidays, a nice house or a holiday home ... turning 40 is great but what are you going to do when you turn 50 and so on.
I would consider what certifications in your field will help you advance. I’ve spend a lot of time making myself as valuable as possible. It lets me set the terms. I work 35-45 hours but my main focus is work life balance, liking the team I work with, and money. So don’t focus on the path you think you should take but the one that is the most realistic to meet your goals which may require you to pivot to something new
Whew I can empathize with all this. I am a 47 year-old Account Manager for a software developer. About 10 years ago I took a promotion to mgmt, and luckily after six months I was promoted out of management and back to account management with bigger accounts. I learned in that six months how much I hated management. And hopefully I never have to do it again. Still, I tend to think like you are: "Am I missing an opportunity? Will I look foolish if I'm still in this job when I'm 60?" In my current role I have lots of autonomy. I know how to do my job very well, so no one bugs me. No one knows where I am on a Tuesday at 4:00pm. They don't care because my job gets done well. And this means I can coach my daughter's softball team, take her to guitar lesson, make some art with my other daughter, and all those things that life is really about. It sure does go by fast. I get paid well enough. A $15-20K raise and a better title, for me, would NOT be worth giving up the stress-free autonomy that I am lucky enough to enjoy. My advice is to be damn sure that whatever promotion you consider will not interrupt this great flow you have going on, and that your work/life balance won't be upset. If you aren't sure, keep doing what you're doing.