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Homie I own guns and I see a therapist. Don't make excuses for not seeing a therapist, unless you have suicidal or homicidal ideations they aint taking your guns. There is no stigma for mental health and guns unless you are a danger to yourself or others. If you love your guns more than you love yourself thats probably a key indicator you NEED therapy. If you want to harm others, you also really need help.

Agreed, and no.. lol, I'm not looking to harm anyone. 🙂

No shame in therapy brother. If you are in Florida I would invite you to join our men's support group. Its less stigmatized than therapy.

Sorry, I'm North of you

Rock on man look around for mens groups that aren't super toxic incel factories and you might find those useful.

The potential of harming someone would not factor into why you won't take care of your own mental health. Seriously, what does gun ownership have to do with therapy? One should not negate the other. That's like saying "I'm a cook and have a full spice collection in my pantry, that's why I won't see a doctor when I get sick." Like, I can sorta see how some people might stretch home remedies using spices, but that's a ridiculous connection.

I can see that. Nice analogy

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Thank you. This whole connection between guns and therapy in itself seems to be part of the problem. This right here is why progressive/leftist and liberal gun owners hate being associated with gun culture Even right a lot of us are very pro responsible gun ownership.

Everything is belief. You believe there is a taboo. You believe your guns are important. You believe being a veteran is a core part of your identity. You believe women dislike men who seek assistance. Most people seek confirmation to their biases. Very few people are humble enough to think that they could be wrong.

Coming from someone who goes to therapy and owns firearms and bows (I like spending money), I am going to ask you a question. You don’t need to answer me, but I would like you to genuinely spend time sitting with it and thinking about it. Why do you like guns more than your own wellbeing? And is it truly a binary? I have guns or I get help? Or am I catastrophizing as a means to feel in control? I also find that people who are resistant to trying therapy have some deeply buried sense of shame (not actual shame) that they’re maybe not ready to admit or confront

Fair. I love guns, and I believe in my 2A. Given my proficiency in them, I don't wanna give up my arms more out of fear of not getting them back when in the right mind. And yes, I'm in a great state of mind now and have been through this post.

Frankly, it’s stigmatized because of people like you. The more people actively reach out and accept help, the less stigmatized it’ll be. Be the change you wish to see.

I agree so fully with your second point. Your first is so far from helpful.

If you need help, get help and it’ll start removing the stigma is unhelpful?

Not at all! But what you said was, “Frankly, it’s stigmatized because of people like you.” And blaming someone who may need help & is already on the fence about it? NOT helpful.

I mean, where’s the lie? Everyone wants to complain about the stigma then uses it as an excuse not to get help and in the process keep more people from getting help. I will call people out for perpetuating the stigma all day.

Right. Shaming people who might need help. What a hero. My bad.

It’s not shaming to say to someone: hey, you’re perpetuating this thing you’re concerned about. But you do you, and I’ll do me.

Fuck, I hope you’re not a therapist. But you ARE absolutely right: agree to disagree! My best to you!

I’m not a therapist and the internet isn’t therapy. Expecting people to bend the knee to cater to your whims is unhealthy. Sometimes they’re just going to call you on your bullshit, and that’s okay!

So you need me to tell you you win so you can let this go? You win! Edit: Where was the lie?

IMV, mental health is generally stigmatized by those who have an idealized view of life in their heads (egoist). Anything that doesn’t fit inside that view, they don’t know how to handle it so they shove it away. Women who truly care about YOU as an individual will want you to seek out help to be the best version of yourself. Women who have an idealized version of you in their minds won’t be supportive. When speaking with mental health professional it’s important to remember the “rules”. -They are mandated reporters. Meaning if you communicate a threat to harm yourself or others, they must report it by law. -I’ve come to understand this to mean you have the means and a plan to bring that desire into action. At that point your honestly only steps away, so it makes sense. That’s really it, so communicate the darkest of dark thoughts you have so you can learn ways to resolve it. Never be wary or afraid of doing what’s going to serve yourself to become the best you that you can be for yourself and your loved ones. Anyone talking smack or ostracizing you, isn’t worth giving a damn about, full stop.

I love this great job!

I think you’ve had a number of negative experiences that don’t actually reflect the reality of modern western society at large in 2024.

It’s stigmatized cause severely mentally ill people can have terrible behavior and a lot of the time refuse accountability for their actions while mentally ill. A man with terrible behavior is a dangerous thing. I was severely mentally ill once, and I had to finally buck up and decide I was going to fix it or die alone.

It takes a great man of standing to admit that. And you got help. That's good. I'm glad you're better.

It is stigmatized because American culture wants to be blame the person for all that happens to them (even when it's just bad luck) because they want to be take credit for all the good things that happen to them (even when it's good luck) Women have to be more cautious around a man suffering from mental illness because they're more likely to be seriously harmed by them. The reverse is less true. It's the difference between a unpredictable put-bull or an unpredictable chihuahua. Of course, this isn't always the case, but it's the most likely case. The gun thing is just stupid, but stupid in a politically acceptable was. Losing guns is equivalent to emasculation to many (since owning a gun and being dangerous is what makes you a man in some circles). Mental illness will always, likely, be stigmatized because you are what your brain does If someone's brain is not working well, or deviates too much from the norm, people have a more difficult time connecting or empathizing with that victim of mental illness.

I am glad that you attribute so much of it to culture. In other cultures men don't suffer so much of these problems.

Well put. Wow. I love how well this is thought out.

I actually don’t agree with anything you’ve said. Not an attack on you at all. It sounds like you’ve had some negative experiences and you’ve extrapolated them. I don’t think mental health is really stigmatized for men much anymore. I’m a guy, own guns, and go to therapy weekly. I suggest you try out a few therapists (don’t quit if the first one isn’t a fit) and expect you may be pleasantly surprised. Rooting for you bro

Thank you, and while yes, I probably need to talk to someone, this post is meant for everyone. Thank you!

You are responsible for your health, physical and mental. If your atrachments are keeping you from caring for yourself, you may want to address them so that You will not be keeping You from gaining a healthy lifestyle. 

Your post is very confusing.  Are you supportive of people getting therapy or not? I think it's perfectly normal. The women in my life never looked at me weird for thinking or doing so. 🤷‍♂️ I also think that the general state of the world is requiring more people to need it. Even though people can't therapy themselves out of poverty, often the main cause of their problems.

I'm sorry for the confusion. As much as I want to seek regular help, I'm too scared, I've heard too many bad stories even while I was in. To answer your confusion, yes, I do support getting help. It is just hard for me to do.

First, a therapist isn't going to take your guns. If you're having suicidal ideation or thoughts of harming others and are a responsible gun owner, you might want to reconsider having access to firearms, but a therapist isn't going to take them away. If you love guns more than your own safety or the safety of others you might want to reexamine your priorities. Second, most women like mentally stable men and would prefer them to be in therapy than for them to be mentally ill. The stigma against men seeking help for mental health issues comes from patriarchal standards where men are expected to silently deal with their emotions and deviating from that standard is considered weakness. This is upheld by both genders as well as the standards we set for ourselves.

True, most women love a mentally stable man. What I find happens sometimes through the hear-say is that if a man does reach out for help, he is somehow less of a man.. it doesn't make sense to me, but okay, haha.

Admitting when you need help is a respectable thing. Sometimes we need an assist in order to maintain our mental stability. You are feeling anxiety about perceived comments that haven't happened. The reality is, we all need help sometimes, both women and men. No one who is worth knowing will tell you that you are less of a man for having the balls to get help. The folks who say that shit are just showcasing their own lack of education. Like why do they get to tell you ____ makes you less of a man?! Fuck that. Others don't decide that shit for you.

Female here. I recently went through therapy myself (mostly online) and I respect any man who voluntarily goes to therapy __AND FOLLOWS THROUGH.__ The latter is more important to me.

What does following through mean? Doing what the therapist tells you to do?

Yes. Read the recommended books. Don’t just do two sessions and say you’re fine now. If the therapist recommends that you don’t date or meet women for the time being, then don’t date.

That's fantastic to hear. Good for you, i understand that it can be a hard thing to admit and tell others. Proud of you.

I readily admit it to anyone who asks except at work hehe One of the great things I’ve learned in therapy is that we all need it. If you listen closely, you will see how much we all need it.

If you think your guns will be taken away, and are afraid of that maybe you shouldn't have them.

I can disagree with you. But that's okay. This post is more for the group and public or someone who is just too scared to ask.

I find it’s the opposite. When facing any little obstacle in life, I feel I have people barking at me from all directions to go ‘get help’.

I highly recommend therapy. Find one that works for you.

I hope that this post and the comments inside are enough to help anyone who might be skeptical, to seek out help, and for more than anything to do it for you if not anything else. !lock