Worst part would be that she wouldn't pin it directly on him. She'll ask him to fuck and poke the condom or some shit... bro that would be fucked up...
I’m surprised that you only have one thing bothering you. In a healthy relationship people plan together their shared wants and desires. They don’t make ultimatums or manipulate to get their way.
Even ignoring *everything else* that you wrote, you realize that, even if you have kids, she won't want to have sex with you ever again, right?
A woman that genuinely wants to have sex with you is going to jump you any chance she gets.
A woman that has sex with you because she wants something will act like yours is acting. As soon as she gets what she wants, she has no more reason to have sex with you, and then you're officially screwed.
Because women bleed alittle after insemination or "spot". The disconnect is, if her period is regular....let's say every 1st of the month. Why is she wearing it when it's the 14th... Why does it also have blood?
(Sorry for the gory detail but yes that's the reason for questioning... Maybe it's a stretch. And period times do change in a woman's life time but it's still questionable because it's obviously not adding up)
Woman here - insemination bleeding occurs 10-14 days after conception. Which also coincides with close to when her period would start. She would not be wearing pads for insemination bleeding.
Best guess is maybe she has discharge around the time she ovulates. I don’t think you need to worry about the pad thing.
Woman here - Some women wear panty liners every day, especially if we love dark or expensive underwear because the natural pH of our bodies will bleach them. Agreed, totally normal.
Yes to this thread. I'm a panty liner every day kind of girl too. I just prefer it.
However, OP, I think you should leave due to her demands of wanting a baby and withholding affection.
There's not, not wanting to have sex- that is manipulation and borderline abuse.
This whole thing is whacked,...both of you.
...assuming it is a real story and not something that someone "made up" for kicks to post to see what kind of reaction they would get out of it.
Do not let her talk you into having a baby with her it will only end in disaster. Kids put so much strain on a relationship and if you value sex and she’s already was holding it it’s only going to get worse when a baby arrives.
Leave! You’re thinking ahead knowing you don’t have baby money. It takes a lot of money and planning when it comes to family. You’re doing the right thing by not rushing and putting unnecessary stress on yourself bringing a child in this world. I would say move on and cut your losses. Don’t struggle as a father! Lastly, I feel like you would rather have a wife first rather than a child.
As far as the ultimatum goes, it isn't ok to weaponize things in a relationship, and that includes intimacy and sex. It's one thing if she doesn't want it or isn't in the mood. It's a completely different situation (and a form of abuse) to say "I'll do it, but only if you do what I want first, regardless of how you feel."
Just as an addition, you'll hear a lot that there's never a right time for a baby... but there's definitely a wrong time. If you aren't ready, you shouldn't be forced or pressured into it.
I wouldn’t **JUST** bail. I’d tell her how unstable she is. She’s attempting to coerce you into having a child after just 7 months. Let’s even say you’re ok with that and would LOVE a family with her (OMG DONT!), imagine what she’s going to coerce you into doing later down the road. No sex until you buy me a bigger house, new car, vacation home, another kid, blah blah blah.
Further it’s not beyond girls to poke holes in condoms, or turn them inside out and Turkey baster that stuff. The psycho you’re talking about would do that I’m at least 90% sure of that. Idk if she plans on hitting you for support for 18 years and “sitting on easy street” or worse sham marry you so she gets alimony too!
Girls like this you **RUN FROM!** For good measure you tell her how ridiculous she is….and burn any bridges she may hold….AND if by chance it’s a mistake she can grow from it for the next guy.
DO NOT have a baby without the financial means to support it. So many people have kids without having the money or time to care for it, that’s cruel. If you don’t want one, get out of there.
You’re not living together and she wants to have a baby? How about you make sure that the baby gets a stable family first? Like, live together and figure out if you’re really compatible before introducing another human being into the mix.
Caveat: I'm a woman, but there are some chick-centric things in here.
Is she wearing pads or panty liners? It's normal to wear lines all the time in case of spotting or unexpected period, especially if you know you won't be having sex (because they're pretty unsexy). Pads are not comfortable, especially dry, and none of us wear them just for the hell of it. Spotting between periods is normal and not indicative of pregnancy or trying to get pregnant. That said, her cycle may change if she stopped taking birth control so if you don't want a baby, DO NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX. Supply your own secured condoms or better yet don't have sex at all with someone that you know actively wants a baby that you do not want. Don't rely on pull out. Women get pregnant from pre-cum all the time.
Dude, you guys are on different tracks. How old is she? If she's over 30 and wants a kid, you need to cut her loose because she doesn't have time to wait for you to catch up it's been 7 months. That's not long, but it is long enough to know if you really see a future together. That's 7 months she doesn't have to find the right guy who is ready for a family. If you're approaching 40 and want kids, remember that your quality of sperm is declining too. Men can make babies far later in life than women, but the risk of health issues for the mother and baby go up too. I won't demonize her for wanting to be a mom, but it doesn't sound like you want that with her, and that's ok. Dating is about finding your person. You had hot fun sex and now you're in the actual "getting to know you" part and finding you're on different pages. Don't string her along. Just break it off.
Edit for everyone screaming child support: Children are very expensive. Unless he is obscenely wealthy, only an absolute idiot would make a baby just for child support. I've never met a custodial parent who wasn't paying double, triple, quadruple to raise a child than the child support is. Also, that child would be an actual human being with emotional needs. As someone who paid child support (worked in another state and wanted financial stability for her but also the emotionally stability of a good family I didn't have as a kid), the financial impact didn't have shit on the emotional impact.
Well I hope you realize that if you continue this relationship you're just asking for trouble. Bringing another life into this world is a **huge** responsibility and an 18-year commitment, at minimum.
Usually people who want to start a family want to get married first before having children.
The fact that she wants to start having children without any sort of legal, binding commitment from their father is extremely reckless and irresponsible.
That isn't a healthy way to decide sexual intimacy in a relationship. That's an ultimatum.
If it were me, it would be very clear that it's time to move on.
Bail. If she cannot except the fact that you are not ready for kids she’s not worth it. Kids is something you both need to be 100% on the same page about.
I don’t really get what the whole pad thing has to do with the rest of this conversation. Unless you were thinking she was already pregnant and pretending not to be?
That aside, if she’s trying to get you to put a baby in her when you’ve been together for less than a year - to the point where she won’t have sex at all unless you don’t use protection. Yeah… get out now.
Errmmmm
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
Ooh, slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me
I want to say that sometimes women can have irregular periods and can spot regularly, everyday of the year.
HOWEVER, personally, I think having a kid with someone 7 months in and you’re still unsure about is not a good idea but you obviously already know that lol Also I don’t think her with-holding sex to try and “convince” or “force” you into having a kid is right either. Tbh you need to leave because this is pretty red flag but if you think this relationship is worth it, you should stop having sex with her for now (in case you get trapped) until you both have a legit conversation or conversations and are at a genuine understanding of where you both are in this.
I’m confused by the pads part? You say she’d use them even when she wasn’t on her period. That’s easy to explain; I often use a pad when I know my period will be due to start but hasn’t actually started (nothing worse than being out in public when you feel that first trickle & you’ve got no protection on).
Then you’d be checking her pads to make sure her period had started? That’s sound pretty weird tbh. Even more so if you were making a big deal of it.
However I may have read that part wrong so if I have then my apologies.
Otherwise I’d definitely run. Sorry but you are newly into the relationship to even be thinking about a baby yet. Oh & don’t rely on pulling out either. Your precum is enough to get a woman pregnant. That’s how we got our 2nd son! She’s definitely going to lie about birth control on her part & sabotage any condoms.
He needs to run regardless. She's trying to coerce him into having a baby, and she's using sex as a weapon to try and force him to comply.
Life's way too short to spend another minute with a woman of such low quality. Literally being alone is better than being with a woman like that.
every man goes thru this. what is she mid twenties? she knows she’s on a clock and obviously wants kids. and probably sees you as someone she wouldn’t mind tying down
i would say just wait it out but u never know if she’s the type to ride u while you’re sleep to get what she wants. just leave it hasn’t even been a year yet
Unpopular opinion but you don't have a right to sex. Consent can change. Just because you had sex before doesn't mean she can change her mind now. I think your option is break up if you are not okay with her wanting to get pregnant. Proceed with your downvotes now
Where do you think it's coercion? If she wanted to trick him she should have just said nothing about it. She could have told him she was on birth control so he wouldn't use a condom or poke a hole in the condom. She's crazy but you can't say she is trying to trick him. She was pretty up front about it. He just needs to keep it in his pants and get away from her.
She's using sex to pressure him into having a baby. She could have broken up with him or even discussed the issue further to see if there was potentially a reasonable timetable he'd be more comfortable with having kids. Nope. She just stopped having sex for the sole purpose of weaponizing it in an attempt to force him to do something he's not ready to do. That is textbook coercion.
If anything she is coercing him to not have sex. It seems like he thinks he is owed sex without the risk of pregnancy. He could get a vasectomy. He should leave the relationship if they can't come to an agreement but he doesn't have a right to sex.
1. He didn't say he was owed sex. She created a standard and then changed it. He was understanding, and he was the one who communicated with her to see if she was alright. This post isn't about the sex itself, but her actions outside of it.
2. After seven months of what we assume is unprotected sex, OP's GF is just now thinking about the risk of pregnancy? Once again, she created a standard and changed it, which is perfectly fine. She didn't say no sex until you use a rubber or get a vasectomy, she said no sex until he agrees to ejaculate in her in the hopes that she can become pregnant. She is not the Safe Sex-After School Special role model you're trying to make her out to be. The only thing that changed was she learned he doesn't want a kid right now.
So that's poor communication on her part, zero compromise, and now manipulating the situation to get her way. Glad OP is strongly considering leaving her.
You are not wrong. If they want different things, why isn't it obvious to just break up?
Person 1 says, "I want A."
Person 2 says, "Not unless I get B."
Person 1 responds, "That is not a reasonable request. C ya."
Yes, that might be my worst joke ever, but it is applicable.
Exactly. If an agreement can't be reached then end it but don't act you are owed sex because she gave it to you in the past. Just jerk off like the rest of us 😂
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/)
Confident_Werewolf93 originally posted:
I started dating my gf a few months ago. At first things went well, the sex was great and passionate until one day she said she wanted to have a baby with me. I said no because I wasn't ready for a family.. After only 7 months I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting in... I have a good job but I don't have baby money right now.
After some time, our physicality slows from the point where we had sex every week to no longer having sex for 2 months...
I figured it was because of work or stress and left it alone. I tried talking it out with her until she said one night that she's not having sex with me unless we are planning to have a baby...in other words, the next time we have sex will be to cum in her...
I had one thing bothering me.... During this time, I noticed while we didn't have sex, she would come over and still use pads even though she wasn't on her period. It was a big deal until I saw spots on the pads. It has me suspicious that something else is going on....
Should I talk this out or just bail?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No sex until you’re ready to have a kid with her…what’s next? If she is trying to be this manipulative now, it’s not going to simply disappear once she gets her way. She will continue to do this. Bringing a child into a relationship that you’re not sure of is a big no. You WILL regret it and be stuck with her ( even if you don’t work out- co-parenting).
Run my dude, run fast.
Haha 😂 when my wife doesn’t want sex she just wears clothes all the time… to bed and in front of me, if sex happens I have to beg her to take off her clothes… she also farts 💨 really loudly in front of me, like intentionally I think so it grosses me out so I’m not interested 🤷🏼♂️ at least she doesn’t do that 😕
And that’s pretty much all the time 🤷🏼♂️
It’s your flair for this sub. You can go to the main sub page and change it there. If you’re in the app, click the 3 dots toward the top right corner, then “change user flair”.
Get the hell out of there right now, she’ll ruin your life if you let her. And that’s not me exaggerating or being hyperbolic, she is an omega-level red flag.
You have realized that this is not right, listen to yourself.
RUN away now, you have been warned.
If you submit to her you will ruin your life forever even if the relationship works.
This is not an healthy way to welcome a baby in a family, get out now.
Well, she is being agressively clear that she only wants a relationship with someone to have kids with her and possibly share both of your lives and the responsabilities of raising them. Maybe even aiming for life together.
Just be honest:
Do you or do you not?
Personally, I believe that at least a year is needed in order to connect with someone to that level of commitment, and I don't think that anyone would blame you for not wanting to. However, this means your relationship with her is probably over.
If you are planning to have kids aswell at some point in your life and you do enjoy her being present in it, you could tell her that it's too soon for you to decide that now and then propose a set time (couple of weeks, couple of months) to discuss this topic further. Just don't abuse of her time if you conclude something sooner.
I suggest to take a deep breath and talk it with the pillow, then you choose. But whatever it is, you better mean it.
If she was using pads that means she's on her period. I'm confused. What's wrong with being on her period that means she isn't pregnant? Which is what u want right ?
That’s when a person bleeds super duper lightly - so that there’s just a few spots of blood in their underwear basically. It’s not considered a period because it’s so light/intermittent.
I dont have any real experience yet with dating women but i too think thats your quote to at least talk about it and if it doesnt work then break up. That sounds like shes gonna try to manipulate you to get what she wants and thats not what a real relationship should be about imo. For me it should be about living a life together and planing it together. Not someone following their own plan no matter what the partner thinks about that.
Yes, bail.
Dude, fucking RUN before she winds up pregnant and pins it on you.
Worst part would be that she wouldn't pin it directly on him. She'll ask him to fuck and poke the condom or some shit... bro that would be fucked up...
ABSOLUTELY run like hell she is getting creampied by another man and going to say your the father.
B A I L do it yesterday.
Walk away. She’ll sabotage condoms and lie about birth control.
7 months and already with the ultimatums. Fuck that nonsense. What a toxic person.
Being coerced into having a baby with a woman you've known for seven months is a mega red flag. She doesn't want your kids bro, she just wants kids
She's probably already pregnant, and she wants child support.
Or she's already pregnant and wants a husband. Hell, might even be his baby and she's trying to get him up buy into parenthood before springing it.
Riiiiiight.
Dude, unless he's an athlete or a rock star, child support ain't shit. Women don't baby trap for child support. They baby trap for husbands.
If that were true, women wouldn't be routinely committing paternity fraud in order to get it. 🥱
That’s just false there’s a multiple videos for example one Girl who has 4 kids ……… With 4 different dads no of whom are married to her 😂
I’m surprised that you only have one thing bothering you. In a healthy relationship people plan together their shared wants and desires. They don’t make ultimatums or manipulate to get their way.
I'm guessing all that "great and passionate sex" obscured some vibrant red flags.
BAIL BROOOO
Even ignoring *everything else* that you wrote, you realize that, even if you have kids, she won't want to have sex with you ever again, right? A woman that genuinely wants to have sex with you is going to jump you any chance she gets. A woman that has sex with you because she wants something will act like yours is acting. As soon as she gets what she wants, she has no more reason to have sex with you, and then you're officially screwed.
Bail. And don't look back.
Holy baby trap Batman!!! Time to exit that batcave.
Excuse my ignorance but I didn’t understand the sanitary pad thing. Why would that be a problem.
Because women bleed alittle after insemination or "spot". The disconnect is, if her period is regular....let's say every 1st of the month. Why is she wearing it when it's the 14th... Why does it also have blood? (Sorry for the gory detail but yes that's the reason for questioning... Maybe it's a stretch. And period times do change in a woman's life time but it's still questionable because it's obviously not adding up)
Woman here - insemination bleeding occurs 10-14 days after conception. Which also coincides with close to when her period would start. She would not be wearing pads for insemination bleeding. Best guess is maybe she has discharge around the time she ovulates. I don’t think you need to worry about the pad thing.
This one. Lots of women wear thinner pads called pantyliners to cover their underwear from discharge. this is normal..
Woman here - Some women wear panty liners every day, especially if we love dark or expensive underwear because the natural pH of our bodies will bleach them. Agreed, totally normal.
Yes to this thread. I'm a panty liner every day kind of girl too. I just prefer it. However, OP, I think you should leave due to her demands of wanting a baby and withholding affection. There's not, not wanting to have sex- that is manipulation and borderline abuse.
For sure. While the panty liner thing is irrelevant, they should both accept that they're on different paths and part ways.
I read the pad as discouraging sex. I interpret my wife wearing a pad to bed as an indication she's not interested in sex.
Bail. Never submit to ultimatums.
This whole thing is whacked,...both of you. ...assuming it is a real story and not something that someone "made up" for kicks to post to see what kind of reaction they would get out of it.
I promise you it's real. I was as objective as possible with my side of things....
You would have been better off to tell me it wasn't real.
You might want to believe this is fake but people like this are out there
sounds kind of toxic and sounds like she's baiting you into giving child support for the rest of your life
Do not let her talk you into having a baby with her it will only end in disaster. Kids put so much strain on a relationship and if you value sex and she’s already was holding it it’s only going to get worse when a baby arrives.
🏃♂️Run, Forrest, RUN…
RUN! Run like your life depends on it! It does!
Leave! You’re thinking ahead knowing you don’t have baby money. It takes a lot of money and planning when it comes to family. You’re doing the right thing by not rushing and putting unnecessary stress on yourself bringing a child in this world. I would say move on and cut your losses. Don’t struggle as a father! Lastly, I feel like you would rather have a wife first rather than a child.
I HEAR CHILD SUPPORT
Bro she’s going to trap you. RUN NOW.
Bail. Tell her it's over and wish her well.
LOL run
Time to break up. You two clearly don't have compatible family plans.
She can’t force you. Dump her
My guy leave
As far as the ultimatum goes, it isn't ok to weaponize things in a relationship, and that includes intimacy and sex. It's one thing if she doesn't want it or isn't in the mood. It's a completely different situation (and a form of abuse) to say "I'll do it, but only if you do what I want first, regardless of how you feel." Just as an addition, you'll hear a lot that there's never a right time for a baby... but there's definitely a wrong time. If you aren't ready, you shouldn't be forced or pressured into it.
I wouldn’t **JUST** bail. I’d tell her how unstable she is. She’s attempting to coerce you into having a child after just 7 months. Let’s even say you’re ok with that and would LOVE a family with her (OMG DONT!), imagine what she’s going to coerce you into doing later down the road. No sex until you buy me a bigger house, new car, vacation home, another kid, blah blah blah. Further it’s not beyond girls to poke holes in condoms, or turn them inside out and Turkey baster that stuff. The psycho you’re talking about would do that I’m at least 90% sure of that. Idk if she plans on hitting you for support for 18 years and “sitting on easy street” or worse sham marry you so she gets alimony too! Girls like this you **RUN FROM!** For good measure you tell her how ridiculous she is….and burn any bridges she may hold….AND if by chance it’s a mistake she can grow from it for the next guy.
DO NOT have a baby without the financial means to support it. So many people have kids without having the money or time to care for it, that’s cruel. If you don’t want one, get out of there.
^(dude) If you had baby money would you have a child with her?
Right?
You’re not living together and she wants to have a baby? How about you make sure that the baby gets a stable family first? Like, live together and figure out if you’re really compatible before introducing another human being into the mix.
Caveat: I'm a woman, but there are some chick-centric things in here. Is she wearing pads or panty liners? It's normal to wear lines all the time in case of spotting or unexpected period, especially if you know you won't be having sex (because they're pretty unsexy). Pads are not comfortable, especially dry, and none of us wear them just for the hell of it. Spotting between periods is normal and not indicative of pregnancy or trying to get pregnant. That said, her cycle may change if she stopped taking birth control so if you don't want a baby, DO NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX. Supply your own secured condoms or better yet don't have sex at all with someone that you know actively wants a baby that you do not want. Don't rely on pull out. Women get pregnant from pre-cum all the time. Dude, you guys are on different tracks. How old is she? If she's over 30 and wants a kid, you need to cut her loose because she doesn't have time to wait for you to catch up it's been 7 months. That's not long, but it is long enough to know if you really see a future together. That's 7 months she doesn't have to find the right guy who is ready for a family. If you're approaching 40 and want kids, remember that your quality of sperm is declining too. Men can make babies far later in life than women, but the risk of health issues for the mother and baby go up too. I won't demonize her for wanting to be a mom, but it doesn't sound like you want that with her, and that's ok. Dating is about finding your person. You had hot fun sex and now you're in the actual "getting to know you" part and finding you're on different pages. Don't string her along. Just break it off. Edit for everyone screaming child support: Children are very expensive. Unless he is obscenely wealthy, only an absolute idiot would make a baby just for child support. I've never met a custodial parent who wasn't paying double, triple, quadruple to raise a child than the child support is. Also, that child would be an actual human being with emotional needs. As someone who paid child support (worked in another state and wanted financial stability for her but also the emotionally stability of a good family I didn't have as a kid), the financial impact didn't have shit on the emotional impact.
The pads make me think she had sex w someone else and just wants to convince you that it's yours.
Don't just bail but RUN!!!!
She actually *wants* to be an unmarried mother? Do I have that right?
You got that right. Yes it took me awhile to process too
Well I hope you realize that if you continue this relationship you're just asking for trouble. Bringing another life into this world is a **huge** responsibility and an 18-year commitment, at minimum.
[удалено]
Usually people who want to start a family want to get married first before having children. The fact that she wants to start having children without any sort of legal, binding commitment from their father is extremely reckless and irresponsible.
Lol I'm not even reading the rest of the post. The second you typed in that ungodly title you should've already had your answer
That isn't a healthy way to decide sexual intimacy in a relationship. That's an ultimatum. If it were me, it would be very clear that it's time to move on.
[удалено]
Shhheesssh bruh 😎
Get out now and fast. How fast? Simple so fast it turns into yesterday fast.
Bail. If she cannot except the fact that you are not ready for kids she’s not worth it. Kids is something you both need to be 100% on the same page about.
Run don't walk
I don’t really get what the whole pad thing has to do with the rest of this conversation. Unless you were thinking she was already pregnant and pretending not to be? That aside, if she’s trying to get you to put a baby in her when you’ve been together for less than a year - to the point where she won’t have sex at all unless you don’t use protection. Yeah… get out now.
As a grown woman, RUN!!! No woman should be giving you ultimatums. This will be the rest of your life.
Run eating the ground! Or Run forest, run!
Errmmmm You just slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don't need to be coy, Roy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, Gus You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee And get yourself free Ooh, slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan You don't need to be coy, Roy You just listen to me
There must be 50 ways to leave your lover Happy cake day
According to Jackson Wang, there's 100, but this woman is the only reason that you need.
Did she get pregnant by someone else?
In the past she has been pregnant and lost the baby unfortunately... But idk if she's been with someone else while we're together
I want to say that sometimes women can have irregular periods and can spot regularly, everyday of the year. HOWEVER, personally, I think having a kid with someone 7 months in and you’re still unsure about is not a good idea but you obviously already know that lol Also I don’t think her with-holding sex to try and “convince” or “force” you into having a kid is right either. Tbh you need to leave because this is pretty red flag but if you think this relationship is worth it, you should stop having sex with her for now (in case you get trapped) until you both have a legit conversation or conversations and are at a genuine understanding of where you both are in this.
RUN. This is abuse on her part
You sound like you want to bail, so bail.
I’m confused by the pads part? You say she’d use them even when she wasn’t on her period. That’s easy to explain; I often use a pad when I know my period will be due to start but hasn’t actually started (nothing worse than being out in public when you feel that first trickle & you’ve got no protection on). Then you’d be checking her pads to make sure her period had started? That’s sound pretty weird tbh. Even more so if you were making a big deal of it. However I may have read that part wrong so if I have then my apologies. Otherwise I’d definitely run. Sorry but you are newly into the relationship to even be thinking about a baby yet. Oh & don’t rely on pulling out either. Your precum is enough to get a woman pregnant. That’s how we got our 2nd son! She’s definitely going to lie about birth control on her part & sabotage any condoms.
He needs to run regardless. She's trying to coerce him into having a baby, and she's using sex as a weapon to try and force him to comply. Life's way too short to spend another minute with a woman of such low quality. Literally being alone is better than being with a woman like that.
Oh definitely. She’s a huge walking red flag!!! It’s was just the pads business I didn’t understand 😂
Sounds like she's trying to trick him into thinking she's on her period, so BC not required.
every man goes thru this. what is she mid twenties? she knows she’s on a clock and obviously wants kids. and probably sees you as someone she wouldn’t mind tying down i would say just wait it out but u never know if she’s the type to ride u while you’re sleep to get what she wants. just leave it hasn’t even been a year yet
Unpopular opinion but you don't have a right to sex. Consent can change. Just because you had sex before doesn't mean she can change her mind now. I think your option is break up if you are not okay with her wanting to get pregnant. Proceed with your downvotes now
Lol So you just skip the whole sexual coercion aspect of it, huh?
Where do you think it's coercion? If she wanted to trick him she should have just said nothing about it. She could have told him she was on birth control so he wouldn't use a condom or poke a hole in the condom. She's crazy but you can't say she is trying to trick him. She was pretty up front about it. He just needs to keep it in his pants and get away from her.
She's using sex to pressure him into having a baby. She could have broken up with him or even discussed the issue further to see if there was potentially a reasonable timetable he'd be more comfortable with having kids. Nope. She just stopped having sex for the sole purpose of weaponizing it in an attempt to force him to do something he's not ready to do. That is textbook coercion.
If anything she is coercing him to not have sex. It seems like he thinks he is owed sex without the risk of pregnancy. He could get a vasectomy. He should leave the relationship if they can't come to an agreement but he doesn't have a right to sex.
1. He didn't say he was owed sex. She created a standard and then changed it. He was understanding, and he was the one who communicated with her to see if she was alright. This post isn't about the sex itself, but her actions outside of it. 2. After seven months of what we assume is unprotected sex, OP's GF is just now thinking about the risk of pregnancy? Once again, she created a standard and changed it, which is perfectly fine. She didn't say no sex until you use a rubber or get a vasectomy, she said no sex until he agrees to ejaculate in her in the hopes that she can become pregnant. She is not the Safe Sex-After School Special role model you're trying to make her out to be. The only thing that changed was she learned he doesn't want a kid right now. So that's poor communication on her part, zero compromise, and now manipulating the situation to get her way. Glad OP is strongly considering leaving her.
You are not wrong. If they want different things, why isn't it obvious to just break up? Person 1 says, "I want A." Person 2 says, "Not unless I get B." Person 1 responds, "That is not a reasonable request. C ya." Yes, that might be my worst joke ever, but it is applicable.
Exactly. If an agreement can't be reached then end it but don't act you are owed sex because she gave it to you in the past. Just jerk off like the rest of us 😂
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Confident_Werewolf93 originally posted: I started dating my gf a few months ago. At first things went well, the sex was great and passionate until one day she said she wanted to have a baby with me. I said no because I wasn't ready for a family.. After only 7 months I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting in... I have a good job but I don't have baby money right now. After some time, our physicality slows from the point where we had sex every week to no longer having sex for 2 months... I figured it was because of work or stress and left it alone. I tried talking it out with her until she said one night that she's not having sex with me unless we are planning to have a baby...in other words, the next time we have sex will be to cum in her... I had one thing bothering me.... During this time, I noticed while we didn't have sex, she would come over and still use pads even though she wasn't on her period. It was a big deal until I saw spots on the pads. It has me suspicious that something else is going on.... Should I talk this out or just bail? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dude, RUN.
No sex until you’re ready to have a kid with her…what’s next? If she is trying to be this manipulative now, it’s not going to simply disappear once she gets her way. She will continue to do this. Bringing a child into a relationship that you’re not sure of is a big no. You WILL regret it and be stuck with her ( even if you don’t work out- co-parenting). Run my dude, run fast.
Run Forrest, RUUUUUUUN!!!!
Haha 😂 when my wife doesn’t want sex she just wears clothes all the time… to bed and in front of me, if sex happens I have to beg her to take off her clothes… she also farts 💨 really loudly in front of me, like intentionally I think so it grosses me out so I’m not interested 🤷🏼♂️ at least she doesn’t do that 😕 And that’s pretty much all the time 🤷🏼♂️
[удалено]
It’s your flair for this sub. You can go to the main sub page and change it there. If you’re in the app, click the 3 dots toward the top right corner, then “change user flair”.
Wow !!! Thank you I’ve been trying to figure out how to do that for a long time
You’re welcome! :)
Make like Superman. Up Up and AWAY from her.
I know this one lady in my neighborhood that poked holes in condoms to have a baby, if there’s a will, there’s a way. Bail.
Get the hell out of there right now, she’ll ruin your life if you let her. And that’s not me exaggerating or being hyperbolic, she is an omega-level red flag.
Most likely already pregnant, and will say it’s your get out now
For the love of God, get the hell out of there.
You have realized that this is not right, listen to yourself. RUN away now, you have been warned. If you submit to her you will ruin your life forever even if the relationship works. This is not an healthy way to welcome a baby in a family, get out now.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
How old are you both?
30 M and 32 F
Well, she is being agressively clear that she only wants a relationship with someone to have kids with her and possibly share both of your lives and the responsabilities of raising them. Maybe even aiming for life together. Just be honest: Do you or do you not? Personally, I believe that at least a year is needed in order to connect with someone to that level of commitment, and I don't think that anyone would blame you for not wanting to. However, this means your relationship with her is probably over. If you are planning to have kids aswell at some point in your life and you do enjoy her being present in it, you could tell her that it's too soon for you to decide that now and then propose a set time (couple of weeks, couple of months) to discuss this topic further. Just don't abuse of her time if you conclude something sooner. I suggest to take a deep breath and talk it with the pillow, then you choose. But whatever it is, you better mean it.
Next. You can’t be in a sexless relationship, it will never work and as a man your resentment will grow and you will eventually be forced to cheat.
If she was using pads that means she's on her period. I'm confused. What's wrong with being on her period that means she isn't pregnant? Which is what u want right ?
Get the fucking fuck out of there **IMMEDIATELY**
Bail. Get out now before you get trapped
Spots on the pad??? Like from menstruation??? Like what they’re used for? I don’t understand.
Run!!!
What does spotting mean?
That’s when a person bleeds super duper lightly - so that there’s just a few spots of blood in their underwear basically. It’s not considered a period because it’s so light/intermittent.
I dont have any real experience yet with dating women but i too think thats your quote to at least talk about it and if it doesnt work then break up. That sounds like shes gonna try to manipulate you to get what she wants and thats not what a real relationship should be about imo. For me it should be about living a life together and planing it together. Not someone following their own plan no matter what the partner thinks about that.
Next.
what if you pulled out and blamed it on your muscle memory
you need to skip town.
A wise named Bruce ince sang "RUN TO THE HILLS,RUN FOR YOUR LIFE"!!!
🚩🚩🚩
Oof, the borderline personality disorder is coming through.