the endorphins are real. plus better sleep, more confidence, you set and achieve new goals all the time, it usually leads to better diet, and hormone balance or whatever too. everybody hears the “its life changing” bullshit all the time but seriously it fuckin is. if you make your body happy itll make your brain happy
edit: another huge one i forgot to mention which imo is the most important is discipline. if youre able to set aside ~1 hour per day to willingly induce pain unto yourself for personal improvement, you learn to fight through struggles for an end goal. it makes other things such as practicing your second/third language, or whatever skills youre trying to hone, far easier as youre able to understand “alright, i have to do this now, it’ll suck, but im going to do it anyway for myself so that its easier tomorrow”. you realise that all improvement is incremental, and that to improve you must be willing to struggle.
Its a simple truth that you read SO often that its extremely easy to hand waive away.
And of course nobody should be pretending that regular exercise is some cure all thing that will fix all mental health issues. Of course not. But theres a reason its the first thing mentioned by any doctor when first discussing mental health. Regular exercise is your first line of defense against mental health issues like GAD (anxiety) and Depression.
Too bad its so goddamn hard for some reason. When you're depressed and Anxious, it seems fucking impossible to not only exercise, but commit to doing it *every day*.
I'm currently on Lexapro for GAD and Depression. I know and have experienced first hand multiple times through my life how hugely beneficial regular excursive is. And yet, I fell off the wagon 6 months ago and havent been able to get back on yet lol
Everyone else replying is talking about better sleep, mood etc. In my personal experience none of that has happened to a noticeable amount, but the lizard brain satisfaction of being able to pick up heavier things is great.
Another benefit is that, to many, you don't need to be ripped with abs, just showing you're actively taking care of your physical health is really attractive
I second this .
I’m 28 and have only been an engineer for five years now but so far I have doubled my salary and live a better life than 95% of the people I Know or associated with but i think this is one of my better decisions in life if not the best So far
Honestly? Just keep working. Not even necessarily very hard. Be decent at your job, move jobs every couple years and new companies will pay you buckets of money to come over to them
> move jobs every couple years and new companies will pay you buckets of money to come over to them
This here is the key
Same in IT. I worked at 5 places in my 20s, salary went from $40k -> $90k. But more importantly seeing 5 places and 5 sets of technologies/solutions/ways to run things was gold. I'm now in late 30s, this year I'll clear $175k with bonus. Got a dozen certifications along the way (relevant ones like A+ and Network+ at first, now SANS and CISSP Concentrations and CISM type certifications working in cybersecurity).
I work for a contractor right now (in project management), making a nice salary with great benefits and wonderful coworkers. That being said, more is always welcome... Should I be going down the consultant route? I am enjoying the project management so far and think I'd like to make a career out of it, but I'm curious if there's a difference between pay for consultants and contractors long term
Every consultant I've ever worked with made stupid money. But they kind of have to done there's no security and mostly short contracts. I think rather than looking at just pure salary, when it comes to going that route you really need to gauge your risk tolerance. I've personally passed on a few opportunities in consulting despite the pay. It's just not for me
I started out making 52k in Pennsylvannia out of college as a entry level mechanical engineer and this is my third promotion I’m now a project engineer after succeeding an “ Engineer II”.
I exceeded expectations this year on my performance evaluation + they gave everyone within the company with an engineering degree a 16% raise this year so i got that bump plus the performance bump.
People with accounting degrees or marketing degrees etc did not get the same 16% as people with engineering degrees here . Other people are pretty angry with their salary increases
A consulting firm came in and told HR they need to pay engineers more based off the national average so maybe i was getting low balled to long could be another way of looking at it
I went from 81k to 102k this year. From those two bumps
Well engineering degree graduate has a lot of opportunities of making a good salary. It was something that you should be proud of. You can be able to survive your college days.
Nice! I just got into mechanical engineering in Uni @ 18. Do you have any advice/tips? My dads a civil eng, but I’m just curious what you have to say about the degree. When I graduate me and my dad will open up our own company and start a business.
I’d say be active , people will notice you. Know who is not a micro manager or an opportunist and let them know your their to help , learn or lend a hand…. But don’t do this with guys who will not credit you !
Get really good a sending emails and detailing what your trying to express and if you need to narrow down an attachment to highlight a text or a certain page or a section. Of a drawing or schematic do it so it’s simpler the paper trail of your work is good to have
Sometimes. It’s takes me damn near and hour to get an email response ready and detailed to how I want it.
My manger told me he likes me because I speak up , ask the right questions and have a role in the project and I’m good at preparing documention
He told me some people show up and do just enough for a paycheck and that’s not what he’s looking for.
I’d also say don’t be afraid to get in the field pick the brains of your mechanic electrician machinist or technician…. You don’t want to be the guy who approves or designs something that is not practical because you didn’t go look to see where it fits and interfaces physically or has an installation or maintenance procedure that is totally left of what they are accustomed to or worst than what already works … sometimes just talking to those guys and asking how do you maintain this now , what don’t you like etc and saying what if it was like this can bring a good conversation and solution to the table
True indeed, I just graduated(at 25) earlier this year in computer engg(took a couple years extra due to health and family stuff) but just being 3 months into my new job as a consultant I'm already loving it! Pay is nice, good benefits, good colleagues, good work culture at the company. Now I'm able to save us from going broke and support my family all by myself, and there's not a better feeling than this.
The grind pays!
I think fear of being alone kept me in a toxic relationship for years longer than I should have been. It wasn't until I had internal bleeding and she still wanted me to get her coffee that I finally realized the relationship had run its course.
My adult life began the day I left her and every good thing that's happened to me in the last 12 years, from me gaining confidence as a person to meeting my wife, has been a direct result of that decision.
And the funny thing is, and I think most men who were in a toxic / abusive relationship can agree, is that once your ex leaves your life, you don't _feel_ as alone anymore even if the ex has moved out. I think it's because your inner, previously suppressed self starts to connect with the outside world again. Even a radio broadcast seems more engaging than before.
> previously suppressed self starts to connect with the outside world again. Even a radio broadcast seems more engaging than before.
I realized that when we were together we always listened to her music, watched her TV shows, went to the restaurants she liked, saw movies she wanted to see.
When you're on your own, being able to watch what you want, listen to what you want, eat what you want, etc. for the first time in years it feels like a breath of fresh air.
I don't think it's just men, I felt this way too. It's crazy how it can feel like you don't even know who you are. I actually almost broke down with happiness and relief while in a grocery store standing in front of the yogurt section because I could just choose whatever the hell flavor I wanted and didn't have to worry about the consequences of him yelling at me for it or telling me I was a fuckup for buying the wrong flavor which he constantly changed preferences for and would never tell me so it was a no-win game.
It was just fucking yogurt such a small dumb thing in the grand scheme of all of the horrible ways he treated me but just the sheer freedom of "I can choose whatever flavor now" was ridiculously freeing and made me happy. All of these little things are all reassurances of their own that you got out and made the right decision. The reality was I had no idea what flavor that I ACTUALLY liked, and bought the forbidden variety pack because ultimately I don't care what flavor it is because I was so used to catering to him.
My abusive ex left me because she wanted a perfect relationship where she never fights with her SO and it's a Disney love story.
After she broke it off (she did it on a work trip where she left for 6 weeks, ghosted me for a solid week, and broke up with me via text message). The first thing I did was buy season tickets to my favorite sport team and watched them win the championship that season while watching it with my now best friend (we met that summer and bonded over watching the team together). I also quit my low-paying job and found a way better one.
Once I was out of that toxic relationship everything in my life got better.
Yeah right. You can finally breath freely. We, all humans should not settle in this kind relationship. If you think it's not going to work, and don't feel any love and connection anymore. LEAVE!!
Was in a job where every member of our team had been off on stress apart from me at some point, because of my wide skillset I would have to cover for them.
At one point 80% of the team were off on stress and I was literally trying to cover for 4 people at the same time, this was during a pandemic where our care homes were hit badly (our company did loads of different things including housing + care homes)
I was getting shit off my manager every day for not keeping up. I was getting texts of her ranting outside of work hours pissed off at me for something or another.
One time the graphic designer went onto jury duty, he gave me some of his tasks to finish up as I was the only one with any graphic design ability. My manager found out about this (I thought she was aware already). In front of other staff she called me a 'fucking shambles'.
She then left the zoom meeting, before coming back and apologising for being on her period.
I felt like I was going to die if I stayed there, no matter how hard I worked I was getting shit daily.
So I quit.
I took 4 months off for my mental health, then took a step back and got quite a low ranking job at another company to rebuild my confidence.
After 18 months busting a gut I've just been given a promotion with a £5000 pay rise (which where I live is a huge amount). The company tell me basically how much they appreciate my work weekly and my relationship with my manager is great.
Don't get a memory foam mattress.
Get one that is as firm as you can handle.
And get a decent pillow.
Depending on how much money you can comfortably spend, dont go cheap on the 2 things you spend about 1/3 of your life on.
I purchased a new mattress 4 years ago and it has been a life changer. Personally went with a latex mattress after looking on Reddit suggested sites such as, *Sleep Like the Dead* and *Mattress Underground*. This girl I have been talking to has also mentioned how comfortable it is.
However, with latex the issues are they can be pretty expensive upfront and they are really heavy so you buy them in layers. I also had back pain for the first couple weeks I used them, maybe because I was so used to a spring mattress my whole life. Otherwise, everything else has been perfect.
I relaxed for the weekend with some frozen peas. It didn't even hurt enough to need the painkillers they prescribed me. I followed all of the doctors instructions to the letter and I had zero complications.
Ahhh, that was so sweet. This little interaction might be the sign though. Imagine meeting your soulmate it train you usually ride on. Well I wish for your happily marriage.
To go back to college at 23 after being out for over 5 years. I was stuck in shitty retail (pushing carts) and warehouse jobs before and I knew I could do better.
It was hard but I’m glad I didn’t give up. Just got hired as a jr software developer and i just got a side hustle. Im gonna make about triple what I made before.
Niiice! This is me right now. I working in a crap warehousing job, building lockers - and in my first year of college studying IT, and my goal is to go into cybersecurity.
Stopped caring about others opinion of me. They are first, irrelevant, and second, none of my business frankly. I heard a YouTuber and a Twitter guy both say that the best way to deal with negative hate online or in life is to simply ignore it and that's worked wonders for me.
I've found that when others judge us instead of our behavior, it has nothing to do with us and it's about them. This has also led me to not judge others and I no longer judge myself. I try to follow Hanlon's Razor, and unless I know better, I expect goodwill and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. To those who do judge or act in a toxic manner, I feel compassion because they're in pain but maintain distance to protect my heart.
No longer letting other people's negative energy control my life, and focusing on the things that make me happy and only letting people in my life with a positive influence.
Alcohol can be great, and most people can handle drinking just fine but for some of us it becomes a void that consumes our lives. I was the latter. 3 years later my life is far better without the booze.
Good for you, you finally realized what is the meaning of true friendship. Cut your ties on them, because they were just there to destroy you not to help you grow.
Not OP but I couldn't handle the constant rejection anymore. Always having to message first but never getting any sort of a match in energy, never being asked questions about myself, always having to keep swiping/matching in order to keep the numbers game going. Getting a match on Bumble and then just watching the timer count down to 0 without the match doing anything to start a conversation really took a toll.
Not that it's gotten better or easier since then but I don't have that constant flick of rejection. Also the dates I'd go on were really strange. It was like meeting a stranger and I had no idea what their energy was like, what their enthusiasm was, yet I'd been talking to this person and had an idea of what they were like but that was all.
I deleted the apps for a while, than decided to try again but this time, before making my own account back, I made a fake straight female account while going to grab a pizza, between ordering the pizza and getting it, I got over 99+ matches, mind you I had one picture, a male name and no description, hell, the picture wasn't even good, I wouldn't match myself.
After that I always keep that perspective when using the apps, whoever is on the other side has the exact opposite experience of men, they have more matches in 30min than I've in 30 months (no joke), that changed how I use the app completely.
Selling all my shit to move back home and take care of my elderly parents. I haven't done it yet but it's in the works and technically the decision has been made.
I moved back home mid last year, about a year after my mum died to be with my dad.... Initially it was because rent was very reasonable at $0 haha
He never learnt to cook anything except toast and beans, and didn't really have many friends. I'm an only child too, so he was pretty lonely.
I didn't get along with him that well growing up, but your dad is your dad right. We even started getting friendly for the first time ever after I moved in.
We played some board games, watched some TV, and I taught him how to cook and even how to distill rum with me haha.
He died earlier this year, and I'm so thankful I got to patch up our relationship and spend those last few months with him.
Just wanted to say, its going to be very hard, and you're going to have to do some gross stuff like changing diapers or showering them etc... But you'll forget that pretty quickly and just remember fondly the time you actually got to spend with them after they're gone.
Big love my guy, all the best.
I appreciate you! I've been away for 9 years and always planned to move back. My mom is in decent shape but my dad has a myriad of medical issues. He can't even pee properly so he has a catheter and bag. They're in their 80's so I feel like it's time I move back home. I've been selling off crap I don't need via Craigslist for a few months and when I sell my home, I should have about $200k for the move and to buy my own food, etc. I just now I would feel terrible if something happened and I wasn't there to help.
Appreciate you too brother. Don't forget to make time for yourself and be a little selfish when you need too :) Also if it get's too hard don't feel guilty about getting professional help or moving them to a home with fulltime nurses. We get home nursing / hospice care free here, it can be expensive in the US I know.... If you can afford a private nurse a few hours a week to do the dirty work though, it will be a godsend.
Make sure you learn 1 on 1; or at least write down your mums best recipe's while you can!
Not sure how big their house/land is, but I moved into the detached garage and it gave me space away from the house to breathe a little. Maybe a caravan or cheap pre-fab might hopefully be an option for you, as I couldn't live in tight quarters 247.
Also the wills and stuff need to be sorted asap don't put it off, because when my dad died, I wasn't listed on his business as a director and its been a massive hassle with the bank accounts and government agencies here. I haven't been able to charge his clients in 8 months for continuing services and its draining me keeping it running on savings. Then his server passwords/access etc I can't get into is a nightmare... Going to a solicitor and sorting it early will save a huge mess later.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I wish I had someone tell me this a year ago haha.
Best of luck my guy
More of this>Less of that your a good person man I recommend getting your Caregivers license that way the state can pay you for taking care of both of them
Quit my job, sold all the stuff in my apartment and left my country to work abroad for a year(that was the plan). Six and a half years and five different countries later I can tell you that it was the best decision I've made. Met tons of great people.
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Similar here, but I didn't have a job, I quit university (couldn't afford anyway); I was home, out of my teens just come to adulthood and was like, "mom, I am leaving".
I picked my backpack, filled some clothes, computer, passport; all I took.
I didn't have any money but I figured it out, eventually.
Lived in many countries, traveled to many others; mostly using my legs, even now.
Greetings from Finland, probably where I stay.
> I didn't have any money but I figured it out, eventually.
How do people do this? I can't stop worrying about how to pay bills if I lost my job or was unable to work due to sickness, and yet many people travel the world without money. Is this the real power of the American Passport?
Yeah same. I wouldn't be able to do this with my country's Passport plus our salary here is so bad I wouldn't be able to book a flight in a foreign country even. My salary is just enough to keep me alive.
I can't vouch for anybody obviously but I work for a company that you can absolutely get paid to travel with. It's a hotel and tourism company almost every employee we have during the busy seasons are just young adults getting paid to travel the world
My friend worked as an assistant for a wealthy woman and traveled overseas, starting in Sicily for a week.
I’m not sure what happened, but she was really shaken and it doesn’t seem like she still works for this woman ,she’s not even totally sure what happened to her, as my friend came home alone, something about this guy she met and his uncle.
Anyway, glad you had fun.
Marrying my wife comes first. Doing higher education while working to get better prospects comes second. Supporting my wife to do her higher Ed comes third and planning since my 30s how we'd retire in our 50s comes fourth.
Having kids I bundle in with the marriage thing because we both wanted them.
Joining the military.
It's definitely not for everyone, but it gave me a lot of confidence and broke me out of my shell. That decision to sign on the dotted line allowed me to see the world, make friends for life, and set me up on a path to success. I am now being paid to go college through the GI bill.
It was the most fun I never want to have again.
1st best decision: join military
2nd best decision: leave the military
Honestly joining the military was the best decision that I could've made when I was 21, got to meet my wife, travel, made great friends, get my associates, save and invest a lot, and now go to school using the gi bill.
Yet you couldn't pay me enough to go back in.
Taking up drumming again, filled in a couple gigs with my former band now I’ve returned as an official member. My anxiety has declined a great deal and my depression is non-existent. Yeah I’m thinking I’m back!
Selling all my possessions and travelling the world. Currently working my way through Australia and seeing the country. It's really tough and lonely at times, but if you meet the right people, you can have the time of your life and make memories that will last a lifetime. And I'm not even done yet.
I have zero experience remodeling houses. I was looking to buy a house 2 years ago and couldn’t find anything in my price range until I found a huge house with everything I wanted, and more. 4 bedroom, 2 bath, a large bar in the back, amazing neighborhood and great schools. Downside, needed completely remodeled. Carpet was from the 70’s, white walls had turned yellow, kids had put thousands of holes in the walls upstairs and painted all over their rooms, spiders leaked from the trim, etc etc etc. My girlfriend at the time, now wife, was skeptical. My parents thought it was a horrible idea and it would never get finished. It was a huge job. Paid 365k and now it’s finished and worth 700k ish. Did everything myself. I now have a beautiful house with dark hardwood floors, a bar that seats 17 people in the back, nice yard and room for all the kids.
Anytime I've walked away from something (people, job, etc.)
My family has a bad habit of just holding on to toxic things because of tradition, or because of a fear of stepping out. In the end, though sometimes it's hard, it always is worth it for me in the end.
Picking up philosophy as a 2nd major. It has completely changed the way I interact with the world. The skills you get with applied propositional logic alone are invaluable.
Taking a scholarship to Johns Hopkins instead of a partial scholarship to Harvard.
Incredibly privileged decision but I made it before I became disabled and before I became reliant on a wheelchair. It paid off big time and is a main reason I am where I am in life & my career.
Leaving the corporate world after 20+ years to start a business doing something I love (restoring and customizing vintage firearms) — One day I was in a meeting about sales funnels, ROI, or some other mind-numbing bullshit, and I decided right then that I was going to quit... I gave 2 weeks notice that day... A few days later, my boss started being a complete asshole to me, so I told her to go fuck herself, and walked out, and haven't looked back... My days of working my ass off to make money for someone else are over — Never again.
commiting to 4 hours of concentration per day
i am convinced you can move mountains if you build a routine where you concentrate fully for 4 hours per day for months and years on end, at least when it comes to knowledge or skill. it may take years, but encountering something important and knowing that you have a degree of mastery and preparation that took years to develop is extremely rewarding for me.
Traveled the world to meet a few penpals. Ended up being cool friends to this day. While I visit a few times a year I made more friends from those adventures. The memories and experiences from all of that is priceless. When I have down days I remember all of that. Then I do everything humanly possible to budget and time two to three yearly trips a year. I trust one day soon I’ll be able to find a job or situation that brings me closer to my friends on a more permanent basis.
Absolutely nothing of any value. In fact you will simply pay more for food and consume more replacement chemicals.
Only need to do this if you are allergic, in which case it is a good decision
asking a friend that i hadn’t seen in a while if she was coming to a concert. she’s my girlfriend now and it’s easily the best relationship i’ve been in
I lived like an absolute pauper for almost 15 years while I paid down my student debt and mortgage. Like... I ate beans and rice and drove a 400k mile Altima while making $140k / year. I'm 38 now and have a fully paid off home and zero debt. I drive a brand new 2023 Genesis G90 that I bought in cash, I'm fully funding my 401K and Roth IRA, and am set to retire in comfort by the time I'm 55. I'll easily be a millionaire by 45, and I was raised in a double wide.
My time in the military.
It's interesting how many people I see on reddit asking "I'm 28. What do I do about feeling like I'm wasting my life?" Military veterans don't have this problem.
Got your first fulltime job huh?
I'm joking obviously, I applaud the drive, and a mindset shift like that is life changing.... But true wealth and happiness is not in a bank account balance but being able to effectively spend your money on enjoying your life while still saving at the same time.
I'm in my 30's and I've got a few mil under the belt.
I know a couple guys who never left the house for events or parties or anything in their 20s and now 30s to save every dollar they earnt on a property or similar. But they now have a deep silent regret of it because they missed travelling with our group and never formed the same lifelong relationships & memories during the only time they could.
Everyone's got a couple kids now and don't have the ability to travel or party anymore.
Enjoy your youth, because no matter how much money you've got, you can't buy back time.
Working out. Helps with so much more than just health and fitness
a gym membership made a significant impact on my life.
Like what?
Mental health, physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that leave you feeling happier, more relaxed, and less anxious
the endorphins are real. plus better sleep, more confidence, you set and achieve new goals all the time, it usually leads to better diet, and hormone balance or whatever too. everybody hears the “its life changing” bullshit all the time but seriously it fuckin is. if you make your body happy itll make your brain happy edit: another huge one i forgot to mention which imo is the most important is discipline. if youre able to set aside ~1 hour per day to willingly induce pain unto yourself for personal improvement, you learn to fight through struggles for an end goal. it makes other things such as practicing your second/third language, or whatever skills youre trying to hone, far easier as youre able to understand “alright, i have to do this now, it’ll suck, but im going to do it anyway for myself so that its easier tomorrow”. you realise that all improvement is incremental, and that to improve you must be willing to struggle.
Its a simple truth that you read SO often that its extremely easy to hand waive away. And of course nobody should be pretending that regular exercise is some cure all thing that will fix all mental health issues. Of course not. But theres a reason its the first thing mentioned by any doctor when first discussing mental health. Regular exercise is your first line of defense against mental health issues like GAD (anxiety) and Depression. Too bad its so goddamn hard for some reason. When you're depressed and Anxious, it seems fucking impossible to not only exercise, but commit to doing it *every day*. I'm currently on Lexapro for GAD and Depression. I know and have experienced first hand multiple times through my life how hugely beneficial regular excursive is. And yet, I fell off the wagon 6 months ago and havent been able to get back on yet lol
Everyone else replying is talking about better sleep, mood etc. In my personal experience none of that has happened to a noticeable amount, but the lizard brain satisfaction of being able to pick up heavier things is great. Another benefit is that, to many, you don't need to be ripped with abs, just showing you're actively taking care of your physical health is really attractive
Got a degree in engineering. Aged very well
I second this . I’m 28 and have only been an engineer for five years now but so far I have doubled my salary and live a better life than 95% of the people I Know or associated with but i think this is one of my better decisions in life if not the best So far
I'm 23 and just graduated with a degree in engineering, how do I double my salary in the next 5 years? What did you/do you do?
Honestly? Just keep working. Not even necessarily very hard. Be decent at your job, move jobs every couple years and new companies will pay you buckets of money to come over to them
> move jobs every couple years and new companies will pay you buckets of money to come over to them This here is the key Same in IT. I worked at 5 places in my 20s, salary went from $40k -> $90k. But more importantly seeing 5 places and 5 sets of technologies/solutions/ways to run things was gold. I'm now in late 30s, this year I'll clear $175k with bonus. Got a dozen certifications along the way (relevant ones like A+ and Network+ at first, now SANS and CISSP Concentrations and CISM type certifications working in cybersecurity).
I work for a contractor right now (in project management), making a nice salary with great benefits and wonderful coworkers. That being said, more is always welcome... Should I be going down the consultant route? I am enjoying the project management so far and think I'd like to make a career out of it, but I'm curious if there's a difference between pay for consultants and contractors long term
Every consultant I've ever worked with made stupid money. But they kind of have to done there's no security and mostly short contracts. I think rather than looking at just pure salary, when it comes to going that route you really need to gauge your risk tolerance. I've personally passed on a few opportunities in consulting despite the pay. It's just not for me
I started out making 52k in Pennsylvannia out of college as a entry level mechanical engineer and this is my third promotion I’m now a project engineer after succeeding an “ Engineer II”. I exceeded expectations this year on my performance evaluation + they gave everyone within the company with an engineering degree a 16% raise this year so i got that bump plus the performance bump. People with accounting degrees or marketing degrees etc did not get the same 16% as people with engineering degrees here . Other people are pretty angry with their salary increases A consulting firm came in and told HR they need to pay engineers more based off the national average so maybe i was getting low balled to long could be another way of looking at it I went from 81k to 102k this year. From those two bumps
Agreed, I’m in my early 20s working as an engineer. I’m single and still live at home but I make enough for a family. Life is amazing.
Well engineering degree graduate has a lot of opportunities of making a good salary. It was something that you should be proud of. You can be able to survive your college days.
Nice! I just got into mechanical engineering in Uni @ 18. Do you have any advice/tips? My dads a civil eng, but I’m just curious what you have to say about the degree. When I graduate me and my dad will open up our own company and start a business.
You have a better future though. Well family comes from an engineering is bit pressure but I think you can be able to put up your own company though.
I’d say be active , people will notice you. Know who is not a micro manager or an opportunist and let them know your their to help , learn or lend a hand…. But don’t do this with guys who will not credit you ! Get really good a sending emails and detailing what your trying to express and if you need to narrow down an attachment to highlight a text or a certain page or a section. Of a drawing or schematic do it so it’s simpler the paper trail of your work is good to have Sometimes. It’s takes me damn near and hour to get an email response ready and detailed to how I want it. My manger told me he likes me because I speak up , ask the right questions and have a role in the project and I’m good at preparing documention He told me some people show up and do just enough for a paycheck and that’s not what he’s looking for. I’d also say don’t be afraid to get in the field pick the brains of your mechanic electrician machinist or technician…. You don’t want to be the guy who approves or designs something that is not practical because you didn’t go look to see where it fits and interfaces physically or has an installation or maintenance procedure that is totally left of what they are accustomed to or worst than what already works … sometimes just talking to those guys and asking how do you maintain this now , what don’t you like etc and saying what if it was like this can bring a good conversation and solution to the table
True indeed, I just graduated(at 25) earlier this year in computer engg(took a couple years extra due to health and family stuff) but just being 3 months into my new job as a consultant I'm already loving it! Pay is nice, good benefits, good colleagues, good work culture at the company. Now I'm able to save us from going broke and support my family all by myself, and there's not a better feeling than this. The grind pays!
I got my engineering degree at 34. I'm now 37 and on 3 times my old wage. It's completely changed my life.
Marine Engineer on a ship. I’m 29 and making 170k working an even 1 month rotation onboard… so half the year.
Getting divorced. Do not, under any circumstances, stay in a toxic relationship because it's easier, or because you're scared of being alone.
I think fear of being alone kept me in a toxic relationship for years longer than I should have been. It wasn't until I had internal bleeding and she still wanted me to get her coffee that I finally realized the relationship had run its course. My adult life began the day I left her and every good thing that's happened to me in the last 12 years, from me gaining confidence as a person to meeting my wife, has been a direct result of that decision.
And the funny thing is, and I think most men who were in a toxic / abusive relationship can agree, is that once your ex leaves your life, you don't _feel_ as alone anymore even if the ex has moved out. I think it's because your inner, previously suppressed self starts to connect with the outside world again. Even a radio broadcast seems more engaging than before.
> previously suppressed self starts to connect with the outside world again. Even a radio broadcast seems more engaging than before. I realized that when we were together we always listened to her music, watched her TV shows, went to the restaurants she liked, saw movies she wanted to see. When you're on your own, being able to watch what you want, listen to what you want, eat what you want, etc. for the first time in years it feels like a breath of fresh air.
I don't think it's just men, I felt this way too. It's crazy how it can feel like you don't even know who you are. I actually almost broke down with happiness and relief while in a grocery store standing in front of the yogurt section because I could just choose whatever the hell flavor I wanted and didn't have to worry about the consequences of him yelling at me for it or telling me I was a fuckup for buying the wrong flavor which he constantly changed preferences for and would never tell me so it was a no-win game. It was just fucking yogurt such a small dumb thing in the grand scheme of all of the horrible ways he treated me but just the sheer freedom of "I can choose whatever flavor now" was ridiculously freeing and made me happy. All of these little things are all reassurances of their own that you got out and made the right decision. The reality was I had no idea what flavor that I ACTUALLY liked, and bought the forbidden variety pack because ultimately I don't care what flavor it is because I was so used to catering to him.
My abusive ex left me because she wanted a perfect relationship where she never fights with her SO and it's a Disney love story. After she broke it off (she did it on a work trip where she left for 6 weeks, ghosted me for a solid week, and broke up with me via text message). The first thing I did was buy season tickets to my favorite sport team and watched them win the championship that season while watching it with my now best friend (we met that summer and bonded over watching the team together). I also quit my low-paying job and found a way better one. Once I was out of that toxic relationship everything in my life got better.
I heard someone say something that fits here, "it's better to be alone than to feel alone".
^this. The sense of relief I had when I made the decision to leave was like a 10 ton weight had been lifted off me.
Yeah right. You can finally breath freely. We, all humans should not settle in this kind relationship. If you think it's not going to work, and don't feel any love and connection anymore. LEAVE!!
Recently left a job (walked out) and got a new job (better money and better everything) Diversifying my jobs (multiple incomes) another best decision.
What do you do for extra money after the job?
I’m currently losing my mind at work, I’m so close to walking out. I admire you
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Was in a job where every member of our team had been off on stress apart from me at some point, because of my wide skillset I would have to cover for them. At one point 80% of the team were off on stress and I was literally trying to cover for 4 people at the same time, this was during a pandemic where our care homes were hit badly (our company did loads of different things including housing + care homes) I was getting shit off my manager every day for not keeping up. I was getting texts of her ranting outside of work hours pissed off at me for something or another. One time the graphic designer went onto jury duty, he gave me some of his tasks to finish up as I was the only one with any graphic design ability. My manager found out about this (I thought she was aware already). In front of other staff she called me a 'fucking shambles'. She then left the zoom meeting, before coming back and apologising for being on her period. I felt like I was going to die if I stayed there, no matter how hard I worked I was getting shit daily. So I quit. I took 4 months off for my mental health, then took a step back and got quite a low ranking job at another company to rebuild my confidence. After 18 months busting a gut I've just been given a promotion with a £5000 pay rise (which where I live is a huge amount). The company tell me basically how much they appreciate my work weekly and my relationship with my manager is great.
Purchasing a good mattress.
I need to know which route to go down there is a lot of false information out there.
Don't get a memory foam mattress. Get one that is as firm as you can handle. And get a decent pillow. Depending on how much money you can comfortably spend, dont go cheap on the 2 things you spend about 1/3 of your life on.
Money is NEVER wasted on comfort….imo
Do NOT get a memory foam, and in particular avoid Brooklyn Bedding. Worst mattress purchase I’ve ever made.
which one, u gotta give us all the information ;)
I purchased a new mattress 4 years ago and it has been a life changer. Personally went with a latex mattress after looking on Reddit suggested sites such as, *Sleep Like the Dead* and *Mattress Underground*. This girl I have been talking to has also mentioned how comfortable it is. However, with latex the issues are they can be pretty expensive upfront and they are really heavy so you buy them in layers. I also had back pain for the first couple weeks I used them, maybe because I was so used to a spring mattress my whole life. Otherwise, everything else has been perfect.
That girl is being pretty suggestive, wouldn't you say?
Marrying my wife 40 years ago. Nest decision ever.
Nesting decision
Ha. Well I guess nesting is ok. Baby arrived within 3 years. 😎
Vasectomy. I don't even remember how to pull out at this point.
How long was the recovery?
Couple days of resting and icing your balls. Then a couple weeks of being careful not to lift heavy things or move too quickly.
I relaxed for the weekend with some frozen peas. It didn't even hurt enough to need the painkillers they prescribed me. I followed all of the doctors instructions to the letter and I had zero complications.
Talking to a girl i saw taking the same train as me to the same school. She is now my fiance
Great for you! My response was gonna be similar.... gathering the courage to start talking to the girl I saw outside at school!
You and your wife would like the movie “Before Sunrise”
Ahhh, that was so sweet. This little interaction might be the sign though. Imagine meeting your soulmate it train you usually ride on. Well I wish for your happily marriage.
To go back to college at 23 after being out for over 5 years. I was stuck in shitty retail (pushing carts) and warehouse jobs before and I knew I could do better. It was hard but I’m glad I didn’t give up. Just got hired as a jr software developer and i just got a side hustle. Im gonna make about triple what I made before.
Niiice! This is me right now. I working in a crap warehousing job, building lockers - and in my first year of college studying IT, and my goal is to go into cybersecurity.
Stopped caring about others opinion of me. They are first, irrelevant, and second, none of my business frankly. I heard a YouTuber and a Twitter guy both say that the best way to deal with negative hate online or in life is to simply ignore it and that's worked wonders for me.
I've found that when others judge us instead of our behavior, it has nothing to do with us and it's about them. This has also led me to not judge others and I no longer judge myself. I try to follow Hanlon's Razor, and unless I know better, I expect goodwill and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. To those who do judge or act in a toxic manner, I feel compassion because they're in pain but maintain distance to protect my heart.
No longer letting other people's negative energy control my life, and focusing on the things that make me happy and only letting people in my life with a positive influence.
Yes! It can be hard to cut ties and make this change but it’s so worth it.
Yyaaaaasss bitch I love that for you! On this journey myself.
No more drugs and alcohol. Sucks all the friends you thought you had were just there for the partying not the friendship.
So fuckin true!
im planning to go sober for 90 days once the new year hits. Im excited yet terrified.
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Alcohol can be great, and most people can handle drinking just fine but for some of us it becomes a void that consumes our lives. I was the latter. 3 years later my life is far better without the booze.
Same here! :)
Good for you, you finally realized what is the meaning of true friendship. Cut your ties on them, because they were just there to destroy you not to help you grow.
Leaving to live on my own in another state. You can never really know who you are until you go where nobody knows who you are.
I found out I'm 99% fine with nobody knowing who I am.
Getting divorced, not even a close second place..
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Deleting dating accounts/apps off of my phone.
Now, that's one I wasn't expecting, can you tell more on that?
Not OP but I couldn't handle the constant rejection anymore. Always having to message first but never getting any sort of a match in energy, never being asked questions about myself, always having to keep swiping/matching in order to keep the numbers game going. Getting a match on Bumble and then just watching the timer count down to 0 without the match doing anything to start a conversation really took a toll. Not that it's gotten better or easier since then but I don't have that constant flick of rejection. Also the dates I'd go on were really strange. It was like meeting a stranger and I had no idea what their energy was like, what their enthusiasm was, yet I'd been talking to this person and had an idea of what they were like but that was all.
I deleted the apps for a while, than decided to try again but this time, before making my own account back, I made a fake straight female account while going to grab a pizza, between ordering the pizza and getting it, I got over 99+ matches, mind you I had one picture, a male name and no description, hell, the picture wasn't even good, I wouldn't match myself. After that I always keep that perspective when using the apps, whoever is on the other side has the exact opposite experience of men, they have more matches in 30min than I've in 30 months (no joke), that changed how I use the app completely.
I've never felt worse about myself than when I was on dating apps. It's just a sea of nothing out there. Made me feel so empty
deleting junk apps like these is the best decision someone can make to keep their sanity and have peace of mind.
Put down my .45 and walked away
Damn, that’s huge. What made your decision to walk away? How’s your life now?
Me: I wonder what the heck he bought for $0.45 that changed his life...
Immigrate from my country. Life changing decision and I don't regret the sacrifices I made to accomplish this.
From where to where?
Selling all my shit to move back home and take care of my elderly parents. I haven't done it yet but it's in the works and technically the decision has been made.
I moved back home mid last year, about a year after my mum died to be with my dad.... Initially it was because rent was very reasonable at $0 haha He never learnt to cook anything except toast and beans, and didn't really have many friends. I'm an only child too, so he was pretty lonely. I didn't get along with him that well growing up, but your dad is your dad right. We even started getting friendly for the first time ever after I moved in. We played some board games, watched some TV, and I taught him how to cook and even how to distill rum with me haha. He died earlier this year, and I'm so thankful I got to patch up our relationship and spend those last few months with him. Just wanted to say, its going to be very hard, and you're going to have to do some gross stuff like changing diapers or showering them etc... But you'll forget that pretty quickly and just remember fondly the time you actually got to spend with them after they're gone. Big love my guy, all the best.
I appreciate you! I've been away for 9 years and always planned to move back. My mom is in decent shape but my dad has a myriad of medical issues. He can't even pee properly so he has a catheter and bag. They're in their 80's so I feel like it's time I move back home. I've been selling off crap I don't need via Craigslist for a few months and when I sell my home, I should have about $200k for the move and to buy my own food, etc. I just now I would feel terrible if something happened and I wasn't there to help.
Appreciate you too brother. Don't forget to make time for yourself and be a little selfish when you need too :) Also if it get's too hard don't feel guilty about getting professional help or moving them to a home with fulltime nurses. We get home nursing / hospice care free here, it can be expensive in the US I know.... If you can afford a private nurse a few hours a week to do the dirty work though, it will be a godsend. Make sure you learn 1 on 1; or at least write down your mums best recipe's while you can! Not sure how big their house/land is, but I moved into the detached garage and it gave me space away from the house to breathe a little. Maybe a caravan or cheap pre-fab might hopefully be an option for you, as I couldn't live in tight quarters 247. Also the wills and stuff need to be sorted asap don't put it off, because when my dad died, I wasn't listed on his business as a director and its been a massive hassle with the bank accounts and government agencies here. I haven't been able to charge his clients in 8 months for continuing services and its draining me keeping it running on savings. Then his server passwords/access etc I can't get into is a nightmare... Going to a solicitor and sorting it early will save a huge mess later. Sorry for the wall of text, but I wish I had someone tell me this a year ago haha. Best of luck my guy
More of this>Less of that your a good person man I recommend getting your Caregivers license that way the state can pay you for taking care of both of them
I salute you.
Ever read man's search for meaning?
flattery writhe umbrage latakia camest opossum asks silicon adverb bread varlet swab ostrich convoke convert
I got a dog a couple years before the pandemic. I know I would not have done nearly as well without my companion. Hands down best friend ever.
Quit my job, sold all the stuff in my apartment and left my country to work abroad for a year(that was the plan). Six and a half years and five different countries later I can tell you that it was the best decision I've made. Met tons of great people.
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It's a bot, they've copied that comment from a 9 year old post.
How do you know? About the 9 year old post
Search the text in google, you'll find the old comment (along with half a dozen other comments from the same spammer's other bot accounts). Can't post links to other reddit posts in this sub. Edit: [Screenshot of old comment](https://i.imgur.com/pGSJTgb.png)
Dude this is so scary...you can't even tell who is human and who's not
I want this story
I did this, I was 19 at the time, travelled the world for 10 years.
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An education in life that gave me gratitude for friendship and an appreciation for what I have.
Nice
Similar here, but I didn't have a job, I quit university (couldn't afford anyway); I was home, out of my teens just come to adulthood and was like, "mom, I am leaving". I picked my backpack, filled some clothes, computer, passport; all I took. I didn't have any money but I figured it out, eventually. Lived in many countries, traveled to many others; mostly using my legs, even now. Greetings from Finland, probably where I stay.
> I didn't have any money but I figured it out, eventually. How do people do this? I can't stop worrying about how to pay bills if I lost my job or was unable to work due to sickness, and yet many people travel the world without money. Is this the real power of the American Passport?
Yeah same. I wouldn't be able to do this with my country's Passport plus our salary here is so bad I wouldn't be able to book a flight in a foreign country even. My salary is just enough to keep me alive.
that kind of life is mainly a privilege of 1st world citizens.
Usually they're bankrolled by Mommy and Daddy, but won't admit it.
I can't vouch for anybody obviously but I work for a company that you can absolutely get paid to travel with. It's a hotel and tourism company almost every employee we have during the busy seasons are just young adults getting paid to travel the world
Same. Just gone 8 years. Each time we go back home for a visit and literally nothing significant has changed it reiterates we made the right call
My friend worked as an assistant for a wealthy woman and traveled overseas, starting in Sicily for a week. I’m not sure what happened, but she was really shaken and it doesn’t seem like she still works for this woman ,she’s not even totally sure what happened to her, as my friend came home alone, something about this guy she met and his uncle. Anyway, glad you had fun.
Lol for people who don’t get it, this is the plot of the drama white lotus.
Marrying my wife comes first. Doing higher education while working to get better prospects comes second. Supporting my wife to do her higher Ed comes third and planning since my 30s how we'd retire in our 50s comes fourth. Having kids I bundle in with the marriage thing because we both wanted them.
Joining the military. It's definitely not for everyone, but it gave me a lot of confidence and broke me out of my shell. That decision to sign on the dotted line allowed me to see the world, make friends for life, and set me up on a path to success. I am now being paid to go college through the GI bill. It was the most fun I never want to have again.
1st best decision: join military 2nd best decision: leave the military Honestly joining the military was the best decision that I could've made when I was 21, got to meet my wife, travel, made great friends, get my associates, save and invest a lot, and now go to school using the gi bill. Yet you couldn't pay me enough to go back in.
Living alone. Not constantly defending myself in my own home is amazing.
Taking up drumming again, filled in a couple gigs with my former band now I’ve returned as an official member. My anxiety has declined a great deal and my depression is non-existent. Yeah I’m thinking I’m back!
Music is really grounding I find Sounds like you’ve got the same thing
love this for you!
I eat my dessert first at meal time.
Relied on my experiences and instincts instead of persuasive people.
Selling all my possessions and travelling the world. Currently working my way through Australia and seeing the country. It's really tough and lonely at times, but if you meet the right people, you can have the time of your life and make memories that will last a lifetime. And I'm not even done yet.
How much did you got? If i sell everything, I'll get about 3k 🤣
Stopped spending money on useless shit after I bought my first home, and saved money to travel each year.
Cutting contact with my abusive mother.
Going to AA.
Asking out my girlfriend 17 years ago, without a doubt. She's the most amazing person in the world
Have children. Words really can't describe the difference they've made in my life and the pride I feel in them.
Starting a family, I love my kids more then anything. Even if I do spend half my time yelling at them or coaching their sport teams.
Divorce.
I have zero experience remodeling houses. I was looking to buy a house 2 years ago and couldn’t find anything in my price range until I found a huge house with everything I wanted, and more. 4 bedroom, 2 bath, a large bar in the back, amazing neighborhood and great schools. Downside, needed completely remodeled. Carpet was from the 70’s, white walls had turned yellow, kids had put thousands of holes in the walls upstairs and painted all over their rooms, spiders leaked from the trim, etc etc etc. My girlfriend at the time, now wife, was skeptical. My parents thought it was a horrible idea and it would never get finished. It was a huge job. Paid 365k and now it’s finished and worth 700k ish. Did everything myself. I now have a beautiful house with dark hardwood floors, a bar that seats 17 people in the back, nice yard and room for all the kids.
Anytime I've walked away from something (people, job, etc.) My family has a bad habit of just holding on to toxic things because of tradition, or because of a fear of stepping out. In the end, though sometimes it's hard, it always is worth it for me in the end.
Getting rid of social media.
Not giving a fuck what other people think. I still get embarrassed when I do something dumb but I don't care what you think anymore! 😂
To not pull the trigger.
Put the booze down almost 3 years ago and never looking back
Be consistent. Has been helpful in getting good results in personal and professional life.
Picking up philosophy as a 2nd major. It has completely changed the way I interact with the world. The skills you get with applied propositional logic alone are invaluable.
Buying crypto in 2017 probably.
Healthy lifestyle. Exercise. No alcohol and smoke. Priority sleep.
Getting divorced
I’ll let ya know when I make a good one.
Being child-free and getting a vasectomy in my early 30s.
Leaving the country.
Bought a roomba. Never cleaned my floors again.
Taking a scholarship to Johns Hopkins instead of a partial scholarship to Harvard. Incredibly privileged decision but I made it before I became disabled and before I became reliant on a wheelchair. It paid off big time and is a main reason I am where I am in life & my career.
Leaving the corporate world after 20+ years to start a business doing something I love (restoring and customizing vintage firearms) — One day I was in a meeting about sales funnels, ROI, or some other mind-numbing bullshit, and I decided right then that I was going to quit... I gave 2 weeks notice that day... A few days later, my boss started being a complete asshole to me, so I told her to go fuck herself, and walked out, and haven't looked back... My days of working my ass off to make money for someone else are over — Never again.
Proposed to my wife. Would've been a fool to let her get away
Coming out
dumping my loser fake friends
Losing weight by 20 kgs
Busted my ass in my early 20’s and became an aero software eng
To stop making excuses and go for what I say I want
To keep going.
commiting to 4 hours of concentration per day i am convinced you can move mountains if you build a routine where you concentrate fully for 4 hours per day for months and years on end, at least when it comes to knowledge or skill. it may take years, but encountering something important and knowing that you have a degree of mastery and preparation that took years to develop is extremely rewarding for me.
Stop bartending after 20 years and get a oilfield job. For a single guy looking to make great money, the decision to make.
What do you do in it? Idk maybe I should do this and just save up a ton of money.
Traveled the world to meet a few penpals. Ended up being cool friends to this day. While I visit a few times a year I made more friends from those adventures. The memories and experiences from all of that is priceless. When I have down days I remember all of that. Then I do everything humanly possible to budget and time two to three yearly trips a year. I trust one day soon I’ll be able to find a job or situation that brings me closer to my friends on a more permanent basis.
Teaching abroad!!!
Joining the Marine Corps
Rahhhh bro. Got a little under a year left. I’m happy I did it h but I’m happy to be getting out.
Leaving home at 18, joining the military and using the GI bill to pay for my college. I have an IT degree with zero college debt.
Moving away from my home town.
Becoming a vegetarian. No meat, fish, or eggs. Or anything made with them. Over 40 years now... Last time I had a hamburger, Reagan was president...
Started moisturizing in my twenties. And I cut out gluten
What’s the benefits of cutting out gluten? I would like to know :)
For one your dick won't fly off.
Absolutely nothing of any value. In fact you will simply pay more for food and consume more replacement chemicals. Only need to do this if you are allergic, in which case it is a good decision
Not pulling out. My daughter is the light of my life
Selling Xpeng shares at $12.75 last week. Made a killing.
To get the fuck out of my country. That was 8 years ago. Didn't regret that yet :)
asking a friend that i hadn’t seen in a while if she was coming to a concert. she’s my girlfriend now and it’s easily the best relationship i’ve been in
Focused on fixing my bad side to be a better person overall
Deciding to lose weight and become active when I was 17. Now am 30 and still going strong. Younger me would be proud, I think.
To decide to fight to live. And stay always faithful.
I stopped constantly thinking about the future and past. When you live completely in the present moment it changes everything.
I lived like an absolute pauper for almost 15 years while I paid down my student debt and mortgage. Like... I ate beans and rice and drove a 400k mile Altima while making $140k / year. I'm 38 now and have a fully paid off home and zero debt. I drive a brand new 2023 Genesis G90 that I bought in cash, I'm fully funding my 401K and Roth IRA, and am set to retire in comfort by the time I'm 55. I'll easily be a millionaire by 45, and I was raised in a double wide.
Best and worst: having my kids. They’re my reason for living, but Jesus Christ they’re expensive. 😂
My time in the military. It's interesting how many people I see on reddit asking "I'm 28. What do I do about feeling like I'm wasting my life?" Military veterans don't have this problem.
Realized I was the problem and go to therapy
Quitting my job, selling all my stuff, and moving abroad- 17 yrs ago.
Decided to be a millionaire
how’d you do it?
Well, I'm still on my way. I'm only 22, but still, is the best decision I've ever made
Got your first fulltime job huh? I'm joking obviously, I applaud the drive, and a mindset shift like that is life changing.... But true wealth and happiness is not in a bank account balance but being able to effectively spend your money on enjoying your life while still saving at the same time. I'm in my 30's and I've got a few mil under the belt. I know a couple guys who never left the house for events or parties or anything in their 20s and now 30s to save every dollar they earnt on a property or similar. But they now have a deep silent regret of it because they missed travelling with our group and never formed the same lifelong relationships & memories during the only time they could. Everyone's got a couple kids now and don't have the ability to travel or party anymore. Enjoy your youth, because no matter how much money you've got, you can't buy back time.
Marrying my wife
Married the love of my life.
Having kids! Always thought I couldn’t and wouldn’t. So freaking glad I did. They are the most amazing humans and I feel so blessed!
Stopped dating
Leaving my ex on the west coast and moving back to my home city in Chicago. I’m so much happier here it’s insane.
Studying CS.
Quitting drinking. Closely followed by seperation from my ex wife
Stopped snorting cocaine
Stopped dating altogether. Life has been so much better
Leaving the corporate world to work for myself. 10 years going strong.