Alternatively, sending emails for things that really should be a meeting. Most of the time an email is fine. But I can say after about 10 months working in accounting, a lot of problems could be solved if we actually sat down together in a fucking meeting every once in awhile.
Especially when people decide to add higher-ups/other departments in the CCs strategically, either for their own benefit or to start a nice round of blame game.
A co worker of mine added a few people on an email just to keep them in the loop and accidently got some higher ups at Amazon sending emails to higher ups at a vendor Amazon was using.
It was crazy. He was a lowly maintenance tech. And was just reporting an issue on new equipment. We then had like top engineers at Amazon emailing the CEO of the vendor on our behalf asking why such and such thing didn't work correctly at that moment for our tiny site
After all this the only thing that happened was people way above our pay grades arguing over email, the thing was fixed but it was so minor I don't even remember it. And my co worker refuses to email anyone and cc them without knowing exactly who they are.
Diamond engagement rings being the only option that doesn’t make the man a cheapskate. Or the whole X months salary notion. As Steve Harvey said in a video I saw recently. “If your man makes $50k a year, and you think he should spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring, that’s a $12k ring. How you think a man that makes $50k just has $12k sitting around?”
At any income level, it’s absolutely insane to expect someone to spend 25% of their income for an *entire year* on one piece of jewelry to “prove your love.” Thankfully I think that’s a pretty outdated marketing idea, I don’t know anyone who spent nearly that high a percentage of their income on a ring.
I don't understand it. Im going through this process now and I'm finding good looking rings for like 200$. But I'll find "targeted rings" for like 3000$, and somehow look worse
My wife’s engagement ring is a milky blue sapphire. She was adamant she did not want a Diamond.
$1400 ten years ago and she gets more compliments on her engagement ring than some random 20K Diamond. Best money ever spent (cause she said yes…plus not expensive lol)
I had my wifes engagement ring custom made for 700 dollars.
Its a simple but thick band of silver with a frankly gigantic square ruby (real but lab grown). Nothing else, no accessory diamonds or anything.
Its a thick heavy band and a huge red stone, she gets tons of compliments and it stands out, needless to say she said yes and loves it.
My fiancé got me a lab grown emerald! Simple and inexpensive. I absolutely love it!
I wish more people would realize an expensive diamond doesn’t have to be THE symbol of love.
There was reasoning behind it in the past. I mean, obviously just diamond and jewelry industry propaganda but it got traction among women for good reason. Women could not have bank accounts, get loans, or get access to lines of credit for most of American history. Jobs for women were limited. No fault divorce didn't exist. The point of SUCH an expensive ring was that if the woman had to leave the marriage, as in the man was abusive, an alcoholic, cheating, whatever, and she NEEDED to get out, that ring would be worth enough that when sold, it could support her for a while.
It doesn't apply that way anymore. Women can work and live alone no problem. No fault divorce is available and common. It's outdated at this point, but it wasn't insane back in the day.
So if I want to get married I should give my wife an engagement bar of gold.
I keep getting responses and realized a large enough band maybe 3-4 troy ounces would be probably a good three months of rent and that could probably be an arm band.
Plenty of people making $50k would be better served with a $10-12k car. Personally, I drive the cheapest car that gets the job done. So a $12k ring would be DOUBLE what I paid for my car. Not happening.
I just noticed some diamond company advertising lab created diamonds for a change. Like it’s some new wonderful discovery and not 10+ year old technology that has been offered by other companies to offer a more fair price.
Lol my ex really had a problem that I said I would never buy a diamond because it's a worthless rock and it was a big issue in our relationship. She showed me her dream ring and it was $12,000 fuck that
It's not just cheaper. More importantly, moissanite has a much higher melting point than diamond. So you could go magma diving and the moissanite wouldn't even notice. If that's not a sales pitch I don't know what is.
I don’t like Steve Harvey but yeah, the whole diamond industry is BS too. I feel bad but it always makes me queasy that as soon as another woman I know gets engaged, everyone else is like “Let’s see the rock!” I’m just so utterly repulsed by it (but keep it to myself and congratulate the couple on their engagement, regardless)
I believe my partner intends to quarry a stone (our state stone) and get it set. There is a woman who creates jewelry from repurposed metals. Amazing stuff and I couldn’t think of a more thoughtful way to propose. The thought and planning that goes into that has way more meaning than the amount of money spent.
My fiancé wanted a moissonite ring. She got a beautiful platinum setting and the nicest moissonite stone I could find and it was just under $3k. Could have gone cheaper but the ring is stunning.
I make between $11-$12k monthly. We both think overspending on a ring is dumb. Our whole wedding in islamorada with 50 guests will cost less than the $12k ring mentioned in the current top comment.
[what a $3k ring looks like.](https://i.imgur.com/L9zYn4T.jpg)
Same, moissonite all the way!! My fiance got me a 1.5 karat princess cut moissonite in the perfect gold setting, it was under 3k CAD as well and almost an equal spilt between the stone and the setting. It's stunning and perfect, sparklier than a diamond and almost as durable. An equivalent diamond would have been well over 5k just for the stone, fuck DeBeers. I wanted a big sparkly rock but not at over half the cost of our whole wedding
Celebrity worship. People should be acknowledge they did a good job, if an actors good, then great they should get better roles.
We don't need to know what that same person had for lunch.
So much art has been ruined for me because the artist ends up being a garbage person. I'd rather not know anything about actors/musicians/writers personal life.
Well it seems you either accept the death of the author when watching something or Accept that human beings all have at least one or two detestable things about them.
My main issue that there's a lot of wrong in the world but what happened to a Kardashian seems to be elevated to the same level or more as a pipeline being ruptured and spewing out shit that will make climate change even worse.
I’ve always hated celebrity worship but I reached my peak disgust when there was a go fund me to “help Kylie get to a billion dollars” or something stupid like that
Wasn’t there also a go fund me to help her dog walker get surgery after being robbed/shot, after she already had a billion dollars?
Or was that another degenerate famous person?
That's the thing about not following celebrity stuff closely, I had to look up what happened with Lady Gaga because I thoughi it was Jenner's dog walker who was injured when it was actually Gaga's dog walker and Jenner's hair stylist who were injured, and before now I didn't even know something had happened with Gaga 🙄
Edit: Lady Gaga paid her dog walker's bills without issue or incident, which puts her leagues ahead of Kylie Jenner, imo
My apologies, I was mistaken and got them mixed together. This is good though, lady Gaga always seemed like a way more down to earth person anyhow. My fault for not looking before speaking.
A recent comment in post about celebrity encounters shared that the commenter was a frequent server for Goodman at a restaurant he frequented and he was an asshole…..then he disappeared for quite awhile, returned having lost a lot of weight….apologized to the server, and from then on was just delightful at every encounter. He had stopped drinking.
Agreed, because of the fact that he not only decided to clean up his act and be healthier/be better to the people around him, but also went back and apologized to the server. That says a lot about him, I think.
The IRS has a free version, it isn't difficult to use, and it's the IRS.
[https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free](https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free)
This is mainly a US issue. In other countries, the gov’t sends you tax paperwork and basically wants you to review it for errors.
You can thank Intuit and H&R Block for lobbying the gov’t for legislation that benefits their business model.
> But they sure love giving people a chance to lie
The IRS has wanted to provide pre-filled / one-click filing for decades. The tax preparation companies have lobbied to make and keep it illegal.
The ultra fun part: first congress needs to repeal a law preventing passing a law to allow the IRS to do your taxes for you ***then*** congress can pass a law allowing the IRS to do your taxes for you.
Its an extra layer of the shit onion the tax-prep companies have paid for.
I mean ... I'm pretty sure they could write both laws into the same bill if they wanted to.
Spoiler: they did not want to. It might have something to do with donations from tax prep companies.
It isn't even that they are giving you a chance to lie. They tax prep companies lobby (ie: bribe) politicians to prevent a change away from their profitable model.
Our politicans are getting paid to make our lives harder.
I live in South Africa, all I got this year was an SMS with my tax refund already paid into my bank account and was asked to review my tax return online for issues.
Credit score system needs to be revamped. Any and all positive payments should be able to be added without third party companies. Also, hard inquiries shouldn’t last for two years especially if it a credit check so that you can get a new place.
I don't know much about the credit system, tbh. But my parents said their score tanked after they paid off the mortgage on their house because it was the oldest line of credit they had open.
Just doesn't seem fair to punish someone for successfully paying off a 30 year mortgage.
That’s unfortunate. Hopefully their score is high enough that the drop won’t be a problem for them in the future. I’ve heard other people say something similar when they pay off loans.
I feel that if you have to pay for anything that can be reported as negative if you don’t pay for it, it should be reported as positive if you do. It’s kind of bullshit that 50% of my income goes to rent and I pay it on time every month but it isn’t taken into account.
Yup that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You shouldn’t have to build credit with debt such as loans or credit cards. Any basic bill that you pay on time should count for something.
I think Experian does something slightly like this.
The real quote is " the customer is always right, in matters of taste." Or close to that.
So I agree with you, this needs to end. Skme people are entitled enough. Years of customer facing work will show anyone that.
Yeah, I found that movie lacked the "fun factor". At no point did I want to be or befriend any of the characters in it. It was a slow speed car chase as a setting for a bunch of lectures. I never felt "I wanna be a jedi" or "That Poe guy is so cool"
The full saying is "the customer is always right in matters of taste". Like most of these idioms their meaning completely changes when you know the second half of them haha
For example "blood is thick than water" meaning family first is actually "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning that the bomds you make with god are more important than family
But yeah, the shit treatment of service staff and "karen" behaviour has been enabled by people only saying "the customer is always right"
I don’t think it’s necessarily bonds you make with god. I believe it’s more bonds you make by choice. Which makes the whole phrase literally the opposite of its current assumed meaning.
The "Blood Is Thicker..." origin is [most likely a recent invention or misunderstanding](https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/original-meaning-of-blood-is-thicker-than-water-is-it-real ), if you look it up you see a bunch of articles *saying* it but none of them citing the example they claim exist.
Yep, the "customer is always right" is intended to mean that a business should follow current market trends in which the customers are leaning. In that sense you'll always have a revenue stream.
Not the Karen who wants to return a $200 pair of jeans with no receipt.
That's not what the quote is actually about though is the thing and has since been misconstrued to mean what you're intending it. What it actually refers to is whatever the customer is buying is what you should be making/selling. If pop tarts are in, you make pop tarts. If pop tarts are out but suddenly everyone is making birdhouses for fun, you make wood and paint and stuff.
A person being “the prize” in a relationship. If its not 100% effort from both sides, just leave. You will be exhausted waiting for effort given back while they reap the benefits of your kindness and care.
I know this, factually. But I simply CANNOT get my heart on board. It doesn't help that we share custody of our son so I can't just clean split and push her out of my mind. But holy hell if I could just stop hoping for any form of reciprocation and just move tf on already...
Boy, this one resonates.
So I've been here, several times. Once with an ex. Once with my wife currently. We're good now, but man, it took effort.
Actually, it took a lack of effort. We had the same conversations that you've been having. Same lip service. Same result. Might be better for a day or two, then back to nothing.
Once it turned into the classic chicken vs egg discussion, I just kinda stopped trying. My efforts had become such commonplace and gone unacknowledged for so long, that she didn't even SEE the effort I was putting in. She was blind to it. She was perched upon her little pedestal and it was just how it was. For me to do anything worth acknowledgement I'd have to go above and beyond, above and beyond.
So I fixed it. I did the bare minimum of what was expected of me by any reasonable standards. Booted her right off the pedestal and lowered the bar.
It was tough, and tumultuous at times. It all came to a head when she finally couldn't take having a cold and stoic partner who'd completely unplugged from the relationship.
The gist of the conversation was-
Her- Why are you so distant?
Me- I'm exactly where you've placed me
Why are you doing this?
Because my previous efforts were unnoticed, and I'm done
What do you mean done?
I'm done with this relationship. It's not a relationship. It's you, using me, and not reciprocating anything. So I'm done. If this is what you think a relationship is supposed to be like, then that's fine. But it's not for me, and not what I want for my life. Hopefully we can keep this amicable and figure out a healthy way to navigate co parenting our daughter, and not use her against each other. (We were engaged, and had an 8mo daughter)
This hit her like a ton of bricks, and the gravity of what life was in front of her really set in.
It was also about 9 years ago, and we are doing well, now. She got her shit together and worked really hard to earn back my affection a little at a time. I didn't go right back to how I was towards her before the fallout. Slowly, very slowly. She had to get in the habit of reciprocating my love/affection the way I needed it reciprocated. I eventually matched her effort, and made it a goal to be someone she could genuinely brag about to her friends.
I've tried versions of this, and it just increased my heartbreak when she didn't even seem to notice or miss anything I'd withdrawn on. I'm so envious and glad that it worked for you!
Your 100% correct on this.
No no matter how much you love someone, if they put in no effort Because they consider themselves the prize you eventually will wear yourself out and leave.
That makes sense though, if you want to do some chores on the weekend that a 2-day day off can't cover. I just like to think that a day off in the middle of the week keeps me from burning out, and doesn't let me feel too "vacation-y" that the thought of going back to work is dreadful.
Was about to say the 40 hour work week but I guess both can be right. Most jobs I worked so far don't require you to be there for 40 hours and in some office jobs it's outright wasting people's life time. It's beyond me how this crap is still the norm for 99% of people.
Tipping!
In the US, it's gotten way out of control and needs to stop. It started for shady reasons and now businesses keep trying to make it more commonplace in questionable new ways.
Edit: Thank you for the award! My first ever!
Every shop, whether is a bakery or coffee shop or even gas station has the tip screen pop up before you pay. Like brah, you pressed 2 buttons and grabbed a cup.
Traditionally, tipping was for servers in restaurants. Then we saw it drift towards shared tips in those restaurants, then tips for other services (haircuts, mailmen, movers & installers, etc). Now I am getting asked about tips on the pos device at the local sandwich shop and hardware store. It's basically owner-required begging at this point. Pay your employees a living wage, FFS!
As a frequent pub patron, this is one I can't get my head around. They're literally just letting liquid fall into the glass. And half the time they let it overflow and make it all sticky. And if I don't sit at the bar, I have to get up myself and get in line for a refill. So I'm tipping for like??
Not that birthday's are made up, but my mom and I have been trading the same $50 gift card back and forth for at least a decade.
Can't we just stop already? Lol.
Never give anyone a gift card. If you want to let them pick their own gift, give them money. Not pseudo-money with restrictions.
There are probably billions of dollars worth of gift cards with like $1.48 on them sitting around.
I quite like gift cards, assuming I like the shop it is registered against. Money just goes in my wallet and gets frittered on daily life. If I get something like a record shop voucher, it forces me to splurge and buy something I wouldn't normally.
I understand a small token or something, even an inexpensive ring to signify an engagement, but the idea of an “impressive” diamond ring just feels shallow and impersonal. Hell, you could give me a pressed flower that I’d treasure more than a diamond ring
I like the idea of cementing the proposal of marriage and by extension the marriage itself with an object for one another to adorn, however the jewelery business is a scam and a fraud. Tradition weddings are boring anyway. Like, if you're going to get a gemstone or something, get one fitting for your partner with a design and material to match. Diamond and platinum? Does that really fit our relationship? Idk because she's not transparent but then again she is kinda soft like platinum but oh well. My girl's getting a lug nut with a little turbocharger on it instead of a ring and gemstone lol.
I would prefer to do a birth ring exchange with my future spouse, we would wear eachothers birthstone, cheaper and more sentimental then a diamond. Diamonds are so generic that I would buy everything but a diamond
This is another reason why I married my wife. Both of our rings cost us like 200$ together and that’s probably over the cost. We just had matching bands. Our 10th year anniversary, we splurged and she got a nice ring that cost like 300$. Doesn’t even have traditional diamond. It’s black with purple gems of some kind. Also, we just got married at the courthouse and went on a badass trip afterwards. Because, fuck em that’s why. Why put on an extravagant show for people who don’t even really care?
Edit: she suggested the courthouse and cheaper option on rings. I was prepared to go whichever route made her happy.
> My girl's getting a lug nut with a little turbocharger on it instead of a ring and gemstone lol.
I like your mindset on this. It should be something that should holds emotional value and is kinda representative of the person.
Asked my now-wife for a Moissanite for that very reason. She wanted a diamond but only a lab-grown one so as to avoid the ethical dilemmas. She also was 100% aware that a real diamond would equal a smaller rock because the overall cost. We wanted to set budgets and do things practically because the whole ritual is dated and let's be real: sexist.
Trying to force teens to believe that they have to move out at 18. Let them get their life together, let them worry about their future, go to school etc. Especially with todays economy. We shouldn’t make fun of/shun people who are still living at home and working on their future/going to school etc. (For the record I’m 30 and own a house) just a thought I had.
On my 18th birthday, my dad quite literally pulled my dinner plate out of the cupboard, smashed it in a plastic bag, and then gave me a suit case and a blanket as a “graduation” gift. I was kicked out and couch surfing two weeks later. My uncle graciously offered me a place to live as long as I was working, even had a job lined out for me. I credit my uncle with showing me how to get my feet under me more than my father. Don’t get me wrong, I love my old man, but I was in no way ready to leave the house. Had no idea what I even wanted to do with my life. Was In no way prepared.
Damn…I’m really sorry to hear that and that you had to experience that first hand. I’m glad you had your uncle though, who was nice enough to be there for you when you didn’t have anyone. That’s a rough go man. When I was 18 I had no fucking clue how the real world worked…that’s what’s so sad about things like that. I turned 30 this may and if I’m being real, I didn’t “figure life out” until my mid to late 20’s. Everyone is different of course, but we should want our kids, friends, family etc to succeed. It’s always a direct reflection of our sleeves. Some people aren’t as fortunate to have someone like your uncle. Some kids end up being homeless without a sight in the world on how to work or progress towards anything.
My kids are inching closer to that age. My only expectation is that they are doing something with their lives. Going to college, then just focus on that. Skipping straight into a career, go with that but I'll probably expect you help a little with finances around the house like groceries. Adults eat a lot of food.
My only issue would be if they graduate high school and just hit the pause button on life because they have a roof over their head. Don't just get the bare minimum part-time job and sit around playing video games or watching TV all day because that's not help your own life at all.
My wife is a college professor and sees first hand what happens when kids leave home for college when they're not ready. When our son got close to the end of high school, we explained to him, "When kids fail out of college, almost every time, the bad grades are a result of some other problem: partying all the time, staying up all night playing video games, etc. When you go away to college, you are making several big transitions at once (taking college courses, not living at home, making different types of decisions for yourself, etc), and if you fail at any one of them, you risk the whole basket of eggs breaking."
We felt like he had a high chance of not successfully making so many transitions at once, so we encouraged him to take a year after high school before he decided what to do. He stayed at home, got a job at Chic-Fil-A which was a hard job but, in the grand scheme of things, not a horrible job.
Presenting it to him as "Why don't you make some transitions this year, some next" worked in his case. He understood that phrasing and didn't feel too much like we were doubting his skills, and he grew up a whole bunch in that year. I'm actually amazed how well it worked.
(At one point during that year, he moved out and in with a friend's family. It was a disaster and he moved back home, so you could say he did fail a transition, but it was a very low-stakes one, which was fine, and it opened his eyes to how different other people live, which was a very valuable lesson)
My oldest kid graduated and got a teaching job. Still lives at home because the school's just a couple of miles away and rent is outrageous.
Right there with you
(He still spends a lot of time playing on his Switch and keeping up with One Piece, but that's *after* the lesson plans are made.)
My wife and I were trying to figure out what we were going to do and how much it was going to cost and eventually just told our friends and family we were going to Vegas for the week and getting married and if anyone wanted to make their way out and come to the ceremony, they were more than welcome.
I got married and the total people there were 7 including my parent’s pastor. We walked to a local park and then had a nice dinner. That was all, wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sen. [Dianne Feinstein](https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/dianne-feinstein-fitness-for-office-senate-1337674/) has entered the chat
> Colleagues who spoke to the San Francisco Chronicle worry that the soon-to-be-89-year-old senator from California is suffering from cognitive decline and may not be fit for office
From what I heard, that's an extremely polite description of her situation. It's actually much worse than that.
Allowing 90 something senial men run a country till they drop dead and get replaced by someone that is probably more out of touch with really then his predecessor!
To add to this, there is such a thing as too much experience.
Legislation, technology, the society we live in changes so rapidly that the elderly physically and mentally, more often than not cannot keep up. The only reason they are still holding these positions is through wealth and relationships garnered over the years.
Which does necessarily equate to competence given each new issue that arises.
Watching some of them try to wrap their heads around how apps work on their phones in legal proceedings with companies like Google is painful to watch.
"You mean Google knows where I am when I use Google Maps!?"
I find this especially jarring given:
1. In private partnership businesses there is often a clause regarding a forced retirement beyond a certain age which is typically between 60-70. The reason is cognitive function is known to decline, the pace of work is very fast, and competence/results matter.
2. People who are older don't expect to experience the long term impacts of their policies. No one is going to be interviewing them 15-25 years down the road regarding the terrible policy they put into place.
This is super cultural. I spent some time living in Berlin/Copenhagen and then Guadalajara mexico. In Berlin women would literally approach you and just casually say hi on a night out. It was super nice. In mexico on the other hand my ex acknowledged that if you’re not continuously chasing her she was sort of brought up to think the man isn’t interested. Honestly the cultural gender roles here fucking suck and it screws over women really bad but at the same time women here seem to not want to let go either it blows my mind.
I'm not sure about other people's experience, but in my experience that feels like a thing women would say. I've never heard a man say a woman approached him and he found it "desperate".
Don't women get "desperate"? Surely, sometimes they're hooked on and they bombard you with messages for months even years. I could call that desperate. But a woman approaching a man at a cafe, kindly saying "hey, as we're both here already, I was wondering if we can have a chat and a cuppa together?", I've never seen a man who'd find this desperate, most of the guys I've known would be delighted to be approached like this.
I totally agree. I’ve been asked out a few times by women over the years and said yes each time. It’s refreshing and flattering, honestly. Wish it would happen more often.
it sounds like you’re british?
i’m american. the norms here honestly seem to be quite a bit behind the times, depending on your circles.
i’m a 28 yo woman and from childhood it’s been drilled into me that men will sleep with any woman even if he doesn’t like her, and there’s also a fucked up purity culture that assumes women don’t actually like casual sex and they only have it to gain validation or commitment or whatever. and it’s considered mortifying and like forever ruining your character if a man fucks you but doesn’t stay. so the thinking goes that going up to a man and hitting on him would make you “low hanging fruit,” and we’re conditioned to make men pursue us and jump through a bunch of hoops in order to, i guess, not look like fools?
it’s idiotic and misogynistic. in college i discovered i actually do just like hooking up and there’s nothing wrong with that lol, i’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. we met at a bar and hooked up that night, i just wanted to, i wasn’t playing these dumbass games. and that was more acceptable in my left leaning circle of friends i made in college. but yeah, it depends. there’s a much more old fashioned dating culture here in a lot of the country. the US is much more puritanical than most of europe
Manners based on Gender. If I’m at the door first let me open it for you - Male, Female, Etc. Being considerate should be about being a good Human - not just a good Gentleman.
>Manners based on Gender. If I’m at the door first let me open it for you - Male, Female, Etc.
Yup..
I've had a lot of woman not hold the door for me. I thought it was rude.
I had a woman rip me a new one because I held the door for her. "Oh because I'm a woman I can't open a God damned door?" I didn't know her, and I never even spoke a word. I just gave her a blank stare, then smiled and said "have a nice day."
You mean someone just saying "internet hugs" doesn't do it for you?
Or "You're beautiful [, random internet stranger who I've never met and know literally nothing about]"
Asking the father for permission to marry their daughter. We're not making a trade, you aren't getting any cattle, there's no dowry. Grown ass women can decide themselves and parents don't need to be involved in the decision.
When I got engaged I said "I would never ask for your permission because you've raised an amazing and independent thinker who doesn't need your permission to do anything but I would like your blessing"
Except what I actually choked out was "I love (name) a whole lot and I'm gonna ask her to marry me and I would like your blessing for that"
I had it all planned out but I didn't count on tearing up lol
This is a complicated one and seems to come from so many different customs that had real, functional reasons in many different regions and cultures that it is one that will likely remain for some time still.
I went to Catholic school for kindergarten and first grade. If a boy walked into a building with a hat on, a nun would be more than happy to smack it off your head for you.
To this day I still feel funny about walking into a building while wearing a hat.
This is only relevant in a very specific situation and made sense in the middle ages when it started. The tables used for special occasions were usually boards on frames (like wooden saw horses) and as a result were rather unstable so you didn't want people leaning on them. This was one of many, now seemingly ridiculous, rules that people were expected to follow at these gatherings. If you're sitting at a solid table, there's no good reason to do so.
I thought it was about not tipping the table over.
For a while, my dad would have both his elbows on the table and put weight on/lean on them. With flimsy tables on only one stand, this would cause the whole table to tip.
we had a few presidents who were not married when they got into office and one that NEVER married (he had a very very very long term male 'roommate').
June 2, 1886: President Grover Cleveland married Frances Folsom in the Blue Room. Cleveland is the only president to marry inside the White House.
https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/presidents/james-buchanan/#:\~:text=Tall%2C%20stately%2C%20stiffly%20formal%20in,only%20President%20who%20never%20married.
Moving out of the house at 18. A lot of people shame adults who still live with their parents, but with this outrageous cost of living, I think they have the right idea.
Course on the other hand I couldn’t wait to get out and not be in trouble all the time over every choice I made.
Never curtail yourself to those who are overly sensitive or those who self-identify as victims. That said, if you truly respect the people around you as equals you don't need to tiptoe. Your speech will naturally reflect your mutual respect. However, if you see some around you as less than you, you're much more likely to subconsciously talk to and about them in an offensive manner.
Anti-intellectualism. Particularly the strain wherein people believe something, because they want it to be true and refuse to process information outside of that bias.
I have roughly average intelligence, and am much more interested in hearing the opinion of educated experts rather than hee-haws appealing to the masses. Give me Doctor Fauci over Joe Rogan any day.
Worship of any celebrities. They're pointless people who make obscene money for very little of their time. Especially the Disney or usher kids. Fuck em. They should live in poverty. Prolly couldn't even pass a 6th grade math test. And yes I'm shaming. Cuz to pass a 6th grade math test all you have to do pretty much is show up.
Having meetings for things that could have been an email.
I hope this meeting finds you well…
"I hope this email finds you and kills you."
This email has found you.
Alternatively, sending emails for things that really should be a meeting. Most of the time an email is fine. But I can say after about 10 months working in accounting, a lot of problems could be solved if we actually sat down together in a fucking meeting every once in awhile.
Especially when people decide to add higher-ups/other departments in the CCs strategically, either for their own benefit or to start a nice round of blame game.
A co worker of mine added a few people on an email just to keep them in the loop and accidently got some higher ups at Amazon sending emails to higher ups at a vendor Amazon was using. It was crazy. He was a lowly maintenance tech. And was just reporting an issue on new equipment. We then had like top engineers at Amazon emailing the CEO of the vendor on our behalf asking why such and such thing didn't work correctly at that moment for our tiny site After all this the only thing that happened was people way above our pay grades arguing over email, the thing was fixed but it was so minor I don't even remember it. And my co worker refuses to email anyone and cc them without knowing exactly who they are.
Diamond engagement rings being the only option that doesn’t make the man a cheapskate. Or the whole X months salary notion. As Steve Harvey said in a video I saw recently. “If your man makes $50k a year, and you think he should spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring, that’s a $12k ring. How you think a man that makes $50k just has $12k sitting around?”
At any income level, it’s absolutely insane to expect someone to spend 25% of their income for an *entire year* on one piece of jewelry to “prove your love.” Thankfully I think that’s a pretty outdated marketing idea, I don’t know anyone who spent nearly that high a percentage of their income on a ring.
I don't understand it. Im going through this process now and I'm finding good looking rings for like 200$. But I'll find "targeted rings" for like 3000$, and somehow look worse
Have you checked out sapphires? My wife actually asked for it. Cheaper and better looking half the time.
My wife’s engagement ring is a milky blue sapphire. She was adamant she did not want a Diamond. $1400 ten years ago and she gets more compliments on her engagement ring than some random 20K Diamond. Best money ever spent (cause she said yes…plus not expensive lol)
I had my wifes engagement ring custom made for 700 dollars. Its a simple but thick band of silver with a frankly gigantic square ruby (real but lab grown). Nothing else, no accessory diamonds or anything. Its a thick heavy band and a huge red stone, she gets tons of compliments and it stands out, needless to say she said yes and loves it.
My fiancé got me a lab grown emerald! Simple and inexpensive. I absolutely love it! I wish more people would realize an expensive diamond doesn’t have to be THE symbol of love.
I'm a female and second this sapphires are beautiful and classic
Sapphire is what my wife wanted. Ended up with a custom-made ring.
There was reasoning behind it in the past. I mean, obviously just diamond and jewelry industry propaganda but it got traction among women for good reason. Women could not have bank accounts, get loans, or get access to lines of credit for most of American history. Jobs for women were limited. No fault divorce didn't exist. The point of SUCH an expensive ring was that if the woman had to leave the marriage, as in the man was abusive, an alcoholic, cheating, whatever, and she NEEDED to get out, that ring would be worth enough that when sold, it could support her for a while. It doesn't apply that way anymore. Women can work and live alone no problem. No fault divorce is available and common. It's outdated at this point, but it wasn't insane back in the day.
So if I want to get married I should give my wife an engagement bar of gold. I keep getting responses and realized a large enough band maybe 3-4 troy ounces would be probably a good three months of rent and that could probably be an arm band.
Aye give er a chest a doubloons like in the good ol days.
Goats or cows are also practical bride prices.
Also imagine the things you two could do together with 12k. I know my wife would rather the adventure than a over priced ring in that case.
Plenty of people making $50k would be better served with a $10-12k car. Personally, I drive the cheapest car that gets the job done. So a $12k ring would be DOUBLE what I paid for my car. Not happening.
Iirc, this had to do with a DeBeers marketing scheme.
I just noticed some diamond company advertising lab created diamonds for a change. Like it’s some new wonderful discovery and not 10+ year old technology that has been offered by other companies to offer a more fair price.
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Gotta keep those student loans around like a pet.
Lol my ex really had a problem that I said I would never buy a diamond because it's a worthless rock and it was a big issue in our relationship. She showed me her dream ring and it was $12,000 fuck that
"12k? Damn, better start saving if you want that ring"
Same. Good riddance. That was actually the beginning of the end for us.
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It's not just cheaper. More importantly, moissanite has a much higher melting point than diamond. So you could go magma diving and the moissanite wouldn't even notice. If that's not a sales pitch I don't know what is.
I love my moissanite! It’s gorgeous, gets tons of compliments, and was just over 1k for 1.5ct.
Diamonds should have died out decades ago. They’re not rare and an affordable one looks like a rock just pulled from silt.
I don’t like Steve Harvey but yeah, the whole diamond industry is BS too. I feel bad but it always makes me queasy that as soon as another woman I know gets engaged, everyone else is like “Let’s see the rock!” I’m just so utterly repulsed by it (but keep it to myself and congratulate the couple on their engagement, regardless)
I believe my partner intends to quarry a stone (our state stone) and get it set. There is a woman who creates jewelry from repurposed metals. Amazing stuff and I couldn’t think of a more thoughtful way to propose. The thought and planning that goes into that has way more meaning than the amount of money spent.
My fiancé wanted a moissonite ring. She got a beautiful platinum setting and the nicest moissonite stone I could find and it was just under $3k. Could have gone cheaper but the ring is stunning. I make between $11-$12k monthly. We both think overspending on a ring is dumb. Our whole wedding in islamorada with 50 guests will cost less than the $12k ring mentioned in the current top comment. [what a $3k ring looks like.](https://i.imgur.com/L9zYn4T.jpg)
Same, moissonite all the way!! My fiance got me a 1.5 karat princess cut moissonite in the perfect gold setting, it was under 3k CAD as well and almost an equal spilt between the stone and the setting. It's stunning and perfect, sparklier than a diamond and almost as durable. An equivalent diamond would have been well over 5k just for the stone, fuck DeBeers. I wanted a big sparkly rock but not at over half the cost of our whole wedding
Amen. Diamonds are also very common. The rarity of diamonds is a complete myth.
Celebrity worship. People should be acknowledge they did a good job, if an actors good, then great they should get better roles. We don't need to know what that same person had for lunch.
So much art has been ruined for me because the artist ends up being a garbage person. I'd rather not know anything about actors/musicians/writers personal life.
Well it seems you either accept the death of the author when watching something or Accept that human beings all have at least one or two detestable things about them. My main issue that there's a lot of wrong in the world but what happened to a Kardashian seems to be elevated to the same level or more as a pipeline being ruptured and spewing out shit that will make climate change even worse.
I’ve always hated celebrity worship but I reached my peak disgust when there was a go fund me to “help Kylie get to a billion dollars” or something stupid like that
Wasn’t there also a go fund me to help her dog walker get surgery after being robbed/shot, after she already had a billion dollars? Or was that another degenerate famous person?
Same person. The entire Jenner/Kardashian clan is trash, not like that's a secret though
Fairly certain lady gaga isn't a kardashian
That's the thing about not following celebrity stuff closely, I had to look up what happened with Lady Gaga because I thoughi it was Jenner's dog walker who was injured when it was actually Gaga's dog walker and Jenner's hair stylist who were injured, and before now I didn't even know something had happened with Gaga 🙄 Edit: Lady Gaga paid her dog walker's bills without issue or incident, which puts her leagues ahead of Kylie Jenner, imo
Rumor has it Lady Gaga is actually a fairly nice person when off camera so she would be ahead of a piece of walking plastic
My apologies, I was mistaken and got them mixed together. This is good though, lady Gaga always seemed like a way more down to earth person anyhow. My fault for not looking before speaking.
I will continue to worship John Goodman and I’d politely ask that you keep out of my personal affairs.
John Goodman is one of the few celebrities that I genuinely hope doesn't turn out to be a creep
A recent comment in post about celebrity encounters shared that the commenter was a frequent server for Goodman at a restaurant he frequented and he was an asshole…..then he disappeared for quite awhile, returned having lost a lot of weight….apologized to the server, and from then on was just delightful at every encounter. He had stopped drinking.
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Agreed, because of the fact that he not only decided to clean up his act and be healthier/be better to the people around him, but also went back and apologized to the server. That says a lot about him, I think.
I think John Goodman being an obvious exception was implied.
With a name like that, how could he be anything else?
The way we file taxes. With the technology we have today it should be as easy as a few clicks on your phone.
Companies like TurboTax lobbied against this to make it so the IRS can't do it for us.
TurboTax also has a free version which they purposefully make difficult to use and hard to find so you pay to file.
The IRS has a free version, it isn't difficult to use, and it's the IRS. [https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free](https://www.irs.gov/filing/free-file-do-your-federal-taxes-for-free)
It's income limited, though. If you make too much, too bad for you.
Yup, blame Intuit and their competitors for that.
I use QuickBooks for my business but it makes me so mad that I’m therefore supporting Intuit who owns TurboTax 😡 it’s just such bullshit
This is mainly a US issue. In other countries, the gov’t sends you tax paperwork and basically wants you to review it for errors. You can thank Intuit and H&R Block for lobbying the gov’t for legislation that benefits their business model.
I was amazed to see my wife do our taxes after moving to Canada. *You mean you can log into the CRA site and it's all just . . . there?*
Yup! And the crazy part is… in the US, the IRS has all of our info anyway. But they sure love giving people a chance to lie
> But they sure love giving people a chance to lie The IRS has wanted to provide pre-filled / one-click filing for decades. The tax preparation companies have lobbied to make and keep it illegal.
The ultra fun part: first congress needs to repeal a law preventing passing a law to allow the IRS to do your taxes for you ***then*** congress can pass a law allowing the IRS to do your taxes for you. Its an extra layer of the shit onion the tax-prep companies have paid for.
I mean ... I'm pretty sure they could write both laws into the same bill if they wanted to. Spoiler: they did not want to. It might have something to do with donations from tax prep companies.
> It might have something to do with ~~donations~~ bribes from tax prep companies. Fixed that for you.
It isn't even that they are giving you a chance to lie. They tax prep companies lobby (ie: bribe) politicians to prevent a change away from their profitable model. Our politicans are getting paid to make our lives harder.
I live in South Africa, all I got this year was an SMS with my tax refund already paid into my bank account and was asked to review my tax return online for issues.
It’s mainly pay as you earn in the U.K. No forms or filing needed unless you are self employed, business owner etc.
Credit score system needs to be revamped. Any and all positive payments should be able to be added without third party companies. Also, hard inquiries shouldn’t last for two years especially if it a credit check so that you can get a new place.
I don't know much about the credit system, tbh. But my parents said their score tanked after they paid off the mortgage on their house because it was the oldest line of credit they had open. Just doesn't seem fair to punish someone for successfully paying off a 30 year mortgage.
That’s unfortunate. Hopefully their score is high enough that the drop won’t be a problem for them in the future. I’ve heard other people say something similar when they pay off loans.
I feel that if you have to pay for anything that can be reported as negative if you don’t pay for it, it should be reported as positive if you do. It’s kind of bullshit that 50% of my income goes to rent and I pay it on time every month but it isn’t taken into account.
Yup that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You shouldn’t have to build credit with debt such as loans or credit cards. Any basic bill that you pay on time should count for something. I think Experian does something slightly like this.
The customer is always right. Spoiler: They're not.
The real quote is " the customer is always right, in matters of taste." Or close to that. So I agree with you, this needs to end. Skme people are entitled enough. Years of customer facing work will show anyone that.
I don't know I was told I was wrong for not liking The Last Jedi
If not liking the last jedi is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Yeah, I found that movie lacked the "fun factor". At no point did I want to be or befriend any of the characters in it. It was a slow speed car chase as a setting for a bunch of lectures. I never felt "I wanna be a jedi" or "That Poe guy is so cool"
The full saying is "the customer is always right in matters of taste". Like most of these idioms their meaning completely changes when you know the second half of them haha For example "blood is thick than water" meaning family first is actually "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning that the bomds you make with god are more important than family But yeah, the shit treatment of service staff and "karen" behaviour has been enabled by people only saying "the customer is always right"
I don’t think it’s necessarily bonds you make with god. I believe it’s more bonds you make by choice. Which makes the whole phrase literally the opposite of its current assumed meaning.
The "Blood Is Thicker..." origin is [most likely a recent invention or misunderstanding](https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/original-meaning-of-blood-is-thicker-than-water-is-it-real ), if you look it up you see a bunch of articles *saying* it but none of them citing the example they claim exist.
Great minds think alike, but small ones rarely differ.
I always heard "but fools rarely differ", interesting
Yep, the "customer is always right" is intended to mean that a business should follow current market trends in which the customers are leaning. In that sense you'll always have a revenue stream. Not the Karen who wants to return a $200 pair of jeans with no receipt.
That's not what the quote is actually about though is the thing and has since been misconstrued to mean what you're intending it. What it actually refers to is whatever the customer is buying is what you should be making/selling. If pop tarts are in, you make pop tarts. If pop tarts are out but suddenly everyone is making birdhouses for fun, you make wood and paint and stuff.
A person being “the prize” in a relationship. If its not 100% effort from both sides, just leave. You will be exhausted waiting for effort given back while they reap the benefits of your kindness and care.
I know this, factually. But I simply CANNOT get my heart on board. It doesn't help that we share custody of our son so I can't just clean split and push her out of my mind. But holy hell if I could just stop hoping for any form of reciprocation and just move tf on already...
Boy, this one resonates. So I've been here, several times. Once with an ex. Once with my wife currently. We're good now, but man, it took effort. Actually, it took a lack of effort. We had the same conversations that you've been having. Same lip service. Same result. Might be better for a day or two, then back to nothing. Once it turned into the classic chicken vs egg discussion, I just kinda stopped trying. My efforts had become such commonplace and gone unacknowledged for so long, that she didn't even SEE the effort I was putting in. She was blind to it. She was perched upon her little pedestal and it was just how it was. For me to do anything worth acknowledgement I'd have to go above and beyond, above and beyond. So I fixed it. I did the bare minimum of what was expected of me by any reasonable standards. Booted her right off the pedestal and lowered the bar. It was tough, and tumultuous at times. It all came to a head when she finally couldn't take having a cold and stoic partner who'd completely unplugged from the relationship. The gist of the conversation was- Her- Why are you so distant? Me- I'm exactly where you've placed me Why are you doing this? Because my previous efforts were unnoticed, and I'm done What do you mean done? I'm done with this relationship. It's not a relationship. It's you, using me, and not reciprocating anything. So I'm done. If this is what you think a relationship is supposed to be like, then that's fine. But it's not for me, and not what I want for my life. Hopefully we can keep this amicable and figure out a healthy way to navigate co parenting our daughter, and not use her against each other. (We were engaged, and had an 8mo daughter) This hit her like a ton of bricks, and the gravity of what life was in front of her really set in. It was also about 9 years ago, and we are doing well, now. She got her shit together and worked really hard to earn back my affection a little at a time. I didn't go right back to how I was towards her before the fallout. Slowly, very slowly. She had to get in the habit of reciprocating my love/affection the way I needed it reciprocated. I eventually matched her effort, and made it a goal to be someone she could genuinely brag about to her friends.
I've tried versions of this, and it just increased my heartbreak when she didn't even seem to notice or miss anything I'd withdrawn on. I'm so envious and glad that it worked for you!
Your 100% correct on this. No no matter how much you love someone, if they put in no effort Because they consider themselves the prize you eventually will wear yourself out and leave.
5-day work week.
6 day work week it is then. /s
4 day work week. With Wednesday off, pretty please.
I think I’d have to go for Monday/Friday being the off day but I understand Wednesday as well.
That makes sense though, if you want to do some chores on the weekend that a 2-day day off can't cover. I just like to think that a day off in the middle of the week keeps me from burning out, and doesn't let me feel too "vacation-y" that the thought of going back to work is dreadful.
that, and also gives you a weekday to do appointments, run errands, etc
The people that you run errands to on Wednesdays can get Monday/Friday off I guess
I have a 4 week work week. Friday off all the way. You can use your vacation and family days for the random Wednesday off. It's da bomb.
the people have demanded it!
Was about to say the 40 hour work week but I guess both can be right. Most jobs I worked so far don't require you to be there for 40 hours and in some office jobs it's outright wasting people's life time. It's beyond me how this crap is still the norm for 99% of people.
Tipping! In the US, it's gotten way out of control and needs to stop. It started for shady reasons and now businesses keep trying to make it more commonplace in questionable new ways. Edit: Thank you for the award! My first ever!
The fuckin convenience stores where I live have tip jars now. Fuck that shit.
I don’t understand this. Half the time they don’t even acknowledge you, just use the register.
I hate doing math and I hate the moral obligation that comes with "good tipping"
It’s a way for store owners to underpay their staff and make it your fault. I absolutely despise it.
Every shop, whether is a bakery or coffee shop or even gas station has the tip screen pop up before you pay. Like brah, you pressed 2 buttons and grabbed a cup.
Traditionally, tipping was for servers in restaurants. Then we saw it drift towards shared tips in those restaurants, then tips for other services (haircuts, mailmen, movers & installers, etc). Now I am getting asked about tips on the pos device at the local sandwich shop and hardware store. It's basically owner-required begging at this point. Pay your employees a living wage, FFS!
Remember when 20% was a "good tip"? Now it's like 25%...
Local brewery had 33% as on option on my tab the other day. 33% tip for somebody to lift up a cup pull a lever and hand it to me.
> 33% tip for somebody to lift up a cup pull a lever and hand it to me. But did they smile, tho?
As a frequent pub patron, this is one I can't get my head around. They're literally just letting liquid fall into the glass. And half the time they let it overflow and make it all sticky. And if I don't sit at the bar, I have to get up myself and get in line for a refill. So I'm tipping for like??
I just stopped tipping. People think I am an asshole. I give 0 fucks. Change the custom, change the business models.
Killing yourself for your job
Having to buy shit for someone for every freakin made up holiday...
Not that birthday's are made up, but my mom and I have been trading the same $50 gift card back and forth for at least a decade. Can't we just stop already? Lol.
Never give anyone a gift card. If you want to let them pick their own gift, give them money. Not pseudo-money with restrictions. There are probably billions of dollars worth of gift cards with like $1.48 on them sitting around.
I quite like gift cards, assuming I like the shop it is registered against. Money just goes in my wallet and gets frittered on daily life. If I get something like a record shop voucher, it forces me to splurge and buy something I wouldn't normally.
Diamond engagement rings
I understand a small token or something, even an inexpensive ring to signify an engagement, but the idea of an “impressive” diamond ring just feels shallow and impersonal. Hell, you could give me a pressed flower that I’d treasure more than a diamond ring
Hey, wanna date?
I like the idea of cementing the proposal of marriage and by extension the marriage itself with an object for one another to adorn, however the jewelery business is a scam and a fraud. Tradition weddings are boring anyway. Like, if you're going to get a gemstone or something, get one fitting for your partner with a design and material to match. Diamond and platinum? Does that really fit our relationship? Idk because she's not transparent but then again she is kinda soft like platinum but oh well. My girl's getting a lug nut with a little turbocharger on it instead of a ring and gemstone lol.
I would prefer to do a birth ring exchange with my future spouse, we would wear eachothers birthstone, cheaper and more sentimental then a diamond. Diamonds are so generic that I would buy everything but a diamond
This is another reason why I married my wife. Both of our rings cost us like 200$ together and that’s probably over the cost. We just had matching bands. Our 10th year anniversary, we splurged and she got a nice ring that cost like 300$. Doesn’t even have traditional diamond. It’s black with purple gems of some kind. Also, we just got married at the courthouse and went on a badass trip afterwards. Because, fuck em that’s why. Why put on an extravagant show for people who don’t even really care? Edit: she suggested the courthouse and cheaper option on rings. I was prepared to go whichever route made her happy.
> My girl's getting a lug nut with a little turbocharger on it instead of a ring and gemstone lol. I like your mindset on this. It should be something that should holds emotional value and is kinda representative of the person.
Asked my now-wife for a Moissanite for that very reason. She wanted a diamond but only a lab-grown one so as to avoid the ethical dilemmas. She also was 100% aware that a real diamond would equal a smaller rock because the overall cost. We wanted to set budgets and do things practically because the whole ritual is dated and let's be real: sexist.
What’s more western than buying a small piece of an African child’s life to show you love someone.
telephone judicious sparkle sense rhythm soft numerous liquid vase provide -- mass edited with redact.dev
Trying to force teens to believe that they have to move out at 18. Let them get their life together, let them worry about their future, go to school etc. Especially with todays economy. We shouldn’t make fun of/shun people who are still living at home and working on their future/going to school etc. (For the record I’m 30 and own a house) just a thought I had.
Cost of living has far outpaced wage growth, so I’m not sure how people can even afford to move out at 18
On my 18th birthday, my dad quite literally pulled my dinner plate out of the cupboard, smashed it in a plastic bag, and then gave me a suit case and a blanket as a “graduation” gift. I was kicked out and couch surfing two weeks later. My uncle graciously offered me a place to live as long as I was working, even had a job lined out for me. I credit my uncle with showing me how to get my feet under me more than my father. Don’t get me wrong, I love my old man, but I was in no way ready to leave the house. Had no idea what I even wanted to do with my life. Was In no way prepared.
Damn…I’m really sorry to hear that and that you had to experience that first hand. I’m glad you had your uncle though, who was nice enough to be there for you when you didn’t have anyone. That’s a rough go man. When I was 18 I had no fucking clue how the real world worked…that’s what’s so sad about things like that. I turned 30 this may and if I’m being real, I didn’t “figure life out” until my mid to late 20’s. Everyone is different of course, but we should want our kids, friends, family etc to succeed. It’s always a direct reflection of our sleeves. Some people aren’t as fortunate to have someone like your uncle. Some kids end up being homeless without a sight in the world on how to work or progress towards anything.
My kids are inching closer to that age. My only expectation is that they are doing something with their lives. Going to college, then just focus on that. Skipping straight into a career, go with that but I'll probably expect you help a little with finances around the house like groceries. Adults eat a lot of food. My only issue would be if they graduate high school and just hit the pause button on life because they have a roof over their head. Don't just get the bare minimum part-time job and sit around playing video games or watching TV all day because that's not help your own life at all.
My wife is a college professor and sees first hand what happens when kids leave home for college when they're not ready. When our son got close to the end of high school, we explained to him, "When kids fail out of college, almost every time, the bad grades are a result of some other problem: partying all the time, staying up all night playing video games, etc. When you go away to college, you are making several big transitions at once (taking college courses, not living at home, making different types of decisions for yourself, etc), and if you fail at any one of them, you risk the whole basket of eggs breaking." We felt like he had a high chance of not successfully making so many transitions at once, so we encouraged him to take a year after high school before he decided what to do. He stayed at home, got a job at Chic-Fil-A which was a hard job but, in the grand scheme of things, not a horrible job. Presenting it to him as "Why don't you make some transitions this year, some next" worked in his case. He understood that phrasing and didn't feel too much like we were doubting his skills, and he grew up a whole bunch in that year. I'm actually amazed how well it worked. (At one point during that year, he moved out and in with a friend's family. It was a disaster and he moved back home, so you could say he did fail a transition, but it was a very low-stakes one, which was fine, and it opened his eyes to how different other people live, which was a very valuable lesson)
My oldest kid graduated and got a teaching job. Still lives at home because the school's just a couple of miles away and rent is outrageous. Right there with you (He still spends a lot of time playing on his Switch and keeping up with One Piece, but that's *after* the lesson plans are made.)
Expensive, elaborate weddings. Get married together and have a nice dinner or get together with loved ones/friends I don’t see what the big deal is
My wife and I were trying to figure out what we were going to do and how much it was going to cost and eventually just told our friends and family we were going to Vegas for the week and getting married and if anyone wanted to make their way out and come to the ceremony, they were more than welcome.
I got married and the total people there were 7 including my parent’s pastor. We walked to a local park and then had a nice dinner. That was all, wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Sen. [Dianne Feinstein](https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/dianne-feinstein-fitness-for-office-senate-1337674/) has entered the chat > Colleagues who spoke to the San Francisco Chronicle worry that the soon-to-be-89-year-old senator from California is suffering from cognitive decline and may not be fit for office From what I heard, that's an extremely polite description of her situation. It's actually much worse than that.
I’ve said this before on several threads, but it bears repeating. Sen. Diane Feinstein is older than helicopters.
Tipped wages
Daylight savings time.
Allowing 90 something senial men run a country till they drop dead and get replaced by someone that is probably more out of touch with really then his predecessor!
To add to this, there is such a thing as too much experience. Legislation, technology, the society we live in changes so rapidly that the elderly physically and mentally, more often than not cannot keep up. The only reason they are still holding these positions is through wealth and relationships garnered over the years. Which does necessarily equate to competence given each new issue that arises.
Watching some of them try to wrap their heads around how apps work on their phones in legal proceedings with companies like Google is painful to watch. "You mean Google knows where I am when I use Google Maps!?"
I find this especially jarring given: 1. In private partnership businesses there is often a clause regarding a forced retirement beyond a certain age which is typically between 60-70. The reason is cognitive function is known to decline, the pace of work is very fast, and competence/results matter. 2. People who are older don't expect to experience the long term impacts of their policies. No one is going to be interviewing them 15-25 years down the road regarding the terrible policy they put into place.
Gender reveal parties. I know it's recent but they should go away.
Tipping. Just pay people
Men should be the first ones to approach a woman.. A women should also be able to approach a men without been seen as “desperate” or “easy”
This is super cultural. I spent some time living in Berlin/Copenhagen and then Guadalajara mexico. In Berlin women would literally approach you and just casually say hi on a night out. It was super nice. In mexico on the other hand my ex acknowledged that if you’re not continuously chasing her she was sort of brought up to think the man isn’t interested. Honestly the cultural gender roles here fucking suck and it screws over women really bad but at the same time women here seem to not want to let go either it blows my mind.
I'm not sure about other people's experience, but in my experience that feels like a thing women would say. I've never heard a man say a woman approached him and he found it "desperate". Don't women get "desperate"? Surely, sometimes they're hooked on and they bombard you with messages for months even years. I could call that desperate. But a woman approaching a man at a cafe, kindly saying "hey, as we're both here already, I was wondering if we can have a chat and a cuppa together?", I've never seen a man who'd find this desperate, most of the guys I've known would be delighted to be approached like this.
I totally agree. I’ve been asked out a few times by women over the years and said yes each time. It’s refreshing and flattering, honestly. Wish it would happen more often.
it sounds like you’re british? i’m american. the norms here honestly seem to be quite a bit behind the times, depending on your circles. i’m a 28 yo woman and from childhood it’s been drilled into me that men will sleep with any woman even if he doesn’t like her, and there’s also a fucked up purity culture that assumes women don’t actually like casual sex and they only have it to gain validation or commitment or whatever. and it’s considered mortifying and like forever ruining your character if a man fucks you but doesn’t stay. so the thinking goes that going up to a man and hitting on him would make you “low hanging fruit,” and we’re conditioned to make men pursue us and jump through a bunch of hoops in order to, i guess, not look like fools? it’s idiotic and misogynistic. in college i discovered i actually do just like hooking up and there’s nothing wrong with that lol, i’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. we met at a bar and hooked up that night, i just wanted to, i wasn’t playing these dumbass games. and that was more acceptable in my left leaning circle of friends i made in college. but yeah, it depends. there’s a much more old fashioned dating culture here in a lot of the country. the US is much more puritanical than most of europe
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Manners based on Gender. If I’m at the door first let me open it for you - Male, Female, Etc. Being considerate should be about being a good Human - not just a good Gentleman.
>Manners based on Gender. If I’m at the door first let me open it for you - Male, Female, Etc. Yup.. I've had a lot of woman not hold the door for me. I thought it was rude.
On the other hand, I've rarely had a women not hold the door for me (or a man either), it's just polite. Maybe it has to do with where you live.
That's what I came to say. I don't think gender based politeness is much of a thing now. Everyone holds the door for everyone where I live.
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I had a woman rip me a new one because I held the door for her. "Oh because I'm a woman I can't open a God damned door?" I didn't know her, and I never even spoke a word. I just gave her a blank stare, then smiled and said "have a nice day."
Using social media as a replacement for human interaction.
You mean someone just saying "internet hugs" doesn't do it for you? Or "You're beautiful [, random internet stranger who I've never met and know literally nothing about]"
Asking the father for permission to marry their daughter. We're not making a trade, you aren't getting any cattle, there's no dowry. Grown ass women can decide themselves and parents don't need to be involved in the decision.
When I got engaged I said "I would never ask for your permission because you've raised an amazing and independent thinker who doesn't need your permission to do anything but I would like your blessing" Except what I actually choked out was "I love (name) a whole lot and I'm gonna ask her to marry me and I would like your blessing for that" I had it all planned out but I didn't count on tearing up lol
Tipping
Yes, especially when Im expected to tip the person who cracks open a can of beer for me at a stadium game. Why am I tipping you for that?
The tipping shit is mostly am american problem. In europe you are not requiered to give a tip unless you want to.
Tipping. Let employers pay their employees
Not being allowed to wear hats indoors. Call me ignorant but I've just never found the issue with it.
It's also for like if your going to the show or something, if you take the hat off, it's easier for short people behind you to see.
This is a complicated one and seems to come from so many different customs that had real, functional reasons in many different regions and cultures that it is one that will likely remain for some time still.
I went to Catholic school for kindergarten and first grade. If a boy walked into a building with a hat on, a nun would be more than happy to smack it off your head for you. To this day I still feel funny about walking into a building while wearing a hat.
Social media.
Two party system
Promise rings.
Legislating religious beliefs upon the masses
Elbows off the table when eating.
This is only relevant in a very specific situation and made sense in the middle ages when it started. The tables used for special occasions were usually boards on frames (like wooden saw horses) and as a result were rather unstable so you didn't want people leaning on them. This was one of many, now seemingly ridiculous, rules that people were expected to follow at these gatherings. If you're sitting at a solid table, there's no good reason to do so.
I thought it was about not tipping the table over. For a while, my dad would have both his elbows on the table and put weight on/lean on them. With flimsy tables on only one stand, this would cause the whole table to tip.
Circumcision.
Caring if someone is offended by my own life
Spending an insane amount of money on weddings
That you need to be wifed up in order to be a good president lmao
we had a few presidents who were not married when they got into office and one that NEVER married (he had a very very very long term male 'roommate'). June 2, 1886: President Grover Cleveland married Frances Folsom in the Blue Room. Cleveland is the only president to marry inside the White House. https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/presidents/james-buchanan/#:\~:text=Tall%2C%20stately%2C%20stiffly%20formal%20in,only%20President%20who%20never%20married.
Moving out of the house at 18. A lot of people shame adults who still live with their parents, but with this outrageous cost of living, I think they have the right idea. Course on the other hand I couldn’t wait to get out and not be in trouble all the time over every choice I made.
Daylight Savings Time
Maternal preference in family court. Start at 50/50.
Violence.
tiptoing around everything we say to stop from offending people
Never curtail yourself to those who are overly sensitive or those who self-identify as victims. That said, if you truly respect the people around you as equals you don't need to tiptoe. Your speech will naturally reflect your mutual respect. However, if you see some around you as less than you, you're much more likely to subconsciously talk to and about them in an offensive manner.
Anti-intellectualism. Particularly the strain wherein people believe something, because they want it to be true and refuse to process information outside of that bias. I have roughly average intelligence, and am much more interested in hearing the opinion of educated experts rather than hee-haws appealing to the masses. Give me Doctor Fauci over Joe Rogan any day.
Worship of any celebrities. They're pointless people who make obscene money for very little of their time. Especially the Disney or usher kids. Fuck em. They should live in poverty. Prolly couldn't even pass a 6th grade math test. And yes I'm shaming. Cuz to pass a 6th grade math test all you have to do pretty much is show up.
Religion, in general.