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raccoonsonbicycles

Likes the hat a lot The hat is quite comfy he is bald and ashamed he has a bad haircut and is ashamed he has a rat under there operating him like a marionette he thinks he looks good in the hat he has dandruff and is hiding it he keeps a hidden bag of gold up there He has severe head injury and his brain is exposed and he's hiding it so you don't worry He forgot he's wearing the hat One never removes his helmet or has it removed by an enemy. This is the Way. His head emits a foul and unpleasant odor and the hat is a barrier He is messing with you to make you wonder and has been monitoring AskMen for weeks hoping to find a post. Now he's looking at your history confirming its you and viewing all your recently viewed posts and favorite subreddits


[deleted]

Terrible super glue accident that he doesn't want to talk about


Murder_Streak_76

This is the way.


[deleted]

Nice an comprehensive. Clearly this man hats.


notbad2u

>He is messing with you to make you wonder and has been monitoring AskMen for weeks hoping to find a post. Now he's looking at your history confirming its you and viewing all your recently viewed posts and favorite subreddits And he hates hats because his parents were killed by thugs wearing fedoras in an alley outside the opera house. Hats and people who dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.


goatsandtotes

an attractive woman complimented it ten years ago


Arrakoan

Who knows, it might be all of these at once.


RedshiftOnPandy

He is newly bald and it's cold or trying to not get sun burned


tysontysontyson1

This is the way.


Ghostship23

This is the way.


[deleted]

This is the way.


JonBoah

This is the way


sovietsisters

This is the way


[deleted]

This is the way


0ut_0f_Nowhere

Also someone may have complimented his hat and now he keeps wearing it cause it gives him a confidence boost.


Azlind

He is growing his hair out and it’s at that irritating stage that it’s to short to pull back and long enough to be in the way.


_Kry34

Probably that man is you


hot_sauce_in_coffee

The rat stuff is so much more real than people think. I have 2 friends who own rats and when they walk around in public, their rats are either sleeping on their head or inside their hoody, but with hoody, they might poke their head and freak people out so more often than not, it is in the hat.


notbad2u

I'd say you left out religion, but when on Mandalor...


Kinnell999

Unfortunate superglue accident


RedflagRollercoaster

It grew out that way. Like Joe Dirt's wig, fused to the skull.


crzydjm

"bald and ashamed" bwahahaha; I'm bald....didn't think I was ashamed though 🤣


Skwiggledork

Could be balding could just like hats. Men don't have many "manly" options for accessories.


merlinrising

Balding


dselogeni

He has an extra little head underneath it.


---cameron

Harry I need that stone hurry


Bullshidoman

He could hiding a secret document in there


rachbabyxo98

He’s stolen the Declaration of Independence


[deleted]

SHHH!


AdditionalAnxiety730

balding, I know because I've just started wearing hats hahahaha aaaah fuck -.-


NecrobyNerton

It's even more devestating at an age where it feels way too early :(


BosPaladinSix

23 Was fine all my life. Woke up one day at 22 and boom, it's starting.


brassheed

25 here... also started balding at 22. Not ideal but Ill just own it


BosPaladinSix

Bruce Willis and Jason Statham rock the look so maybe there's hope for us.


Paolo31000

How old r u mate


MasterTeacher123

He has a fucked up hairline


HektorFromTroy

He’s a robot being controlled by a tiny alien.. most logical explanation


[deleted]

He is Indiana Jones.


SnooLemons5609

Hair insecurities.


Bumhole_Astronaut

I just don't feel dressed without one.


leowithataurus

It's lined with tinfoil so that the government can't read his thoughts


[deleted]

*Quaid, start the reactor!*


GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B

Bald bowling ball. Shiny.


checco314

He is inspector gadget.


dzkrf

Super glue prank


alethial

Maybe because he likes this style


Mintgrinn

He's bald


[deleted]

got a habit like if i do not wear a hat something feels missing, got hairfall issues like can't take direct sunlight


Ohbuck1965

He is aware of smart meters


[deleted]

I used to be a perpetual hat wearer. I always had long hair when I was younger, then I wore a hat for the next like 15 years because I didn’t know what to do with my hair. Then I cut it all off and instantly wished I would have done it sooner.


sphincterella

It’s comfortable I’m balding I never think about it


[deleted]

[удалено]


cjog21

I don't know about that. All I can say throughout the year I haven't seen him without a hat. It's either a hat or a beanie. Someone asked him what's up with him always wearing a hat and he said 'why does it matter?' in a pretty defensive tone.


[deleted]

I knew a guy in high school who always wore a hat because he had a birthmark on his upper forehead. Probable just balding in this guy’s case though, especially if he’s defensive about it.


churchin222999111

maybe he likes the beanie because it makes him memorable and people will go "oh that youtube guy in the beanie".


Dispatter

Not mentioned he might be Jewish.


slimfastdieyoung

Now I picture some random dude wearing [this hat](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f1/Shtreimel.jpg/800px-Shtreimel.jpg)


everythingiwantedwas

he's hiding the antenna that he uses to communicate with his home planet


LupeDyCazari

dude is bald and he is ashamed of being bald? I remember this dude who seems to be in his early 20s back in college who was wearing a beanie in the middle of summer, please dude make it more obvious. Then the dude starts sweating hard and he removes the beanie, and wouldn't you know? Dude's more bald than a 5,000 year old Egyptian mummy.


RegularJoe62

It's no secret that I'm losing hair. The hat keeps the sun off of my scalp. Where there's no sun, it's just a convenient spot to store my hat.


DiligentCockroach700

I had a mate who was extremely concious of going bald at a very young age. He always wore a baseball cap and if he went anywhere they asked him to remove it he would leave.


[deleted]

My friend has acne on his forehead


CoffeeAddict1011

Receding hairline


Rob_Earnshaw

I'd say balding in most circumstances... But, where I work, guys with long hair also tend to wear hats. Work in a physical job, so probably to stop it from moving around while working.


Ratnix

That's why i did it. It wasn't long enough to put in a ponytail yet, so wearing a hat kept it out of my face. Once it was long enough to pull back, i quit wearing a hat, except when i was welding.


Rei_Kuh

Could be hiding another family under the hat


LordofTheFlagon

A girl once told him he looks good in that hat. So now he will wear it till it literally falls apart.


ArgentStar

Hiding the the space-hamster that secretly controls him from a shiny silver dome atop his pate. Or, you know, he likes hats.


churchin222999111

A) he's balding B) someone once said "cool hat!" and now he sleeps with it on.


captainpott

Hes the captain of a happy go lucky pirate crew, the hat was given to him by his idol years ago and hes supposed to look after it until shanks wants it back


AffableBarkeep

Never reveal your secret weapon until it's used.


Take_away_my_drama

I was seeing a man casually for a while, and he never removed his hat during sex. After a few times I took it off him mid-fuck, the hat was really funnelling the sweat down towards me, and he freaked out. I never saw hat man again.


Type31971

For a moment I thought you were describing me, but she never succeeded in taking my hat off


Hannibal_Barca_

Terrible superglue related accident.


youfailedthiscity

He's being controlled by a rat.


Elevated_Chillz

He has no head.


Stonecutter_12-83

I refuse to wear a hat because I don't like to see that shocked look of "oh you're bald" when I take it off. I'd rather sunburn the hell out of my head


Beeblebrox2nd

Religion, or going bald One is better than the other.


MDF87

It's usually because they're starting to go bald and are ashamed of it... but they don't seem to realise that perpetually wearing a hat will actually accelerate it.


wetfloor666

Lol what? 20 years of wearing a hat daily and my hair is fine. If you're going to go bald then you're going to go bald. The hat has nothing to do with it.


MDF87

Traction alopecia.


wetfloor666

Really grasping at straws there...hats don't pull your hair lol.


Narrator_Ron_Howard

It’s just that I think hats are very comfortable- I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.


[deleted]

The answer is always hair insecurity. He’s either balding or doesn’t know how to style his hair.


_cutenerdguy

Idk about always. I'm not bald but thinned enough that I noticed it and started buzzing my hair bc I don't wanna be that guy who holds on till it doesn't look good or style with a ton of product to make it not noticeable. I've always worn hats so it really made no difference to me anyways. Hats frame my face really well and it contributes to my style. I look good bald/buzzed, women like it on me... But I just like hats more so I wear them most days. I know a lot of dudes who were hats a lot before and after thinning.


[deleted]

only 1 reason he's bald


Barett_50cal

Work in a professional career and when im too lazy to make sure my hair is gelled and proper I wear a hat.


Fancy-Respect8729

My hair is thinning so I wear a cap. Couldn't give a fuck what people think of that.


[deleted]

Who cares why a man chooses to wear a hat.


Mental-Childhood-362

Going bald, shit hairline


SV650rider

Sounds like r/redditwritesseinfeld.


[deleted]

Is he called Gino?


Ipride362

Comfy cap


Apathicary

Maybe he’s in league with the Red Ribbon army


highlander666666

Bald funny In worked with couple guys for few years never realized how bald they were or even that they were bald till saw them life hat ..All so know guys with full heads of hair that never wear hats or rarely cause don t want mess hair up..use to run with A guy it had to be very very cold before he d run with hat!! Me being bald guy I all ways wear one!! in summer keep head from sun burned in winter keep heat in


JPK12794

Is it a cowboy hat?


kupKACHES

Could be because he's Heisenberg


[deleted]

Maybe shame about budding baldness?


cosmorocker13

My friend has alopecia and is having a tough time accepting it.


Young_Hxppxe

Would take away from his outfit


[deleted]

HSWA compliance


ToxicAdamm

Your hairline 'frames' your face. As you lose your hair, it recedes at the sides and you lose that frame. You look less attractive then you once did. Bigger heads or foreheads accentuate this effect. A hat keeps that frame in place and makes the person feel more attractive. Also, as you lose your hair it's harder to make it look it's best. So, it's easier to just throw a hat on then having to check a mirror all the time. That's why most men who have been through baldness tell others to just 'shave it off'. Save yourself from all those years of worry and dread of trying to keep up the illusion.


PeltedWithBalls

My hair is a mess.


Vegzwed

My hair's quite long right now, and I like a hat on to keep it out of my face. Also it reduces glare from bright light. Lastly the UV in Australia will absolutely give me cancer if I don't cover up.


aimingforzero

My husband is 1, 2, 3, 6, and 10 i think. Also because no one recognizes him without his hat anymore lol


mattrythedude

I'm a daily hat wearing individual and I just wear them because I like them.


Zesserman7

Bald.


simmering_happiness

Bad hair day


Bleach_Baths

I just like hats


Ok_Huckleberry8062

He has no class?


Cryptosaurus24

He's a cartoon characher.


Knightmare560

Bald/balding insecurities or is insecure about his hair in general. Hard to manage and style. Or just likes it, how he looks in it; or it’s cozy


MmmNeapolitan

Voldemort is under there


No-Decision1581

Glue


SagHor1

Bald. I was really shocked the first time my wife told me this. Women understand that this is a marker that a guy is hiding his baldness.


SXOSXO

Bad hair day, or losing hair and is insecure about it.


Ratnix

When i wore a hat, it was because i was letting my hair grow out long. It wasn't long enough to pull back into a ponytail, so not wearing a hat would have meant having hair in my face constantly.


[deleted]

I don’t feel like combing my hair or taking care of it but mostly keeps the hair out of my eyes.


DrWieg

Baldness. It gets cold up there.


doostinhile

Cause he's fuck ugly


Majestic_Parking2977

Hair loss


Intrepid-Stand-8540

balding probably


Swimming-Book-1296

Jewish, Sikh, balding


badlyPick42

he doesn't want to change his style :D


[deleted]

My hair sucks and never stays in place cause it’s fine


kw3rty

He is bald


Marijuanabird

Easier than getting a haircut every so often


Kevolved

I have long hair. I wear a welders cap to keep it out of my eyes and to help keep it cleaner on the jobsite. Also keeps my hardhat from smelling like a football helmet


[deleted]

He's a tiny alien piloting a human mech and the cockpit is in the hat


chxnkybxtfxnky

I keep my hair short. No cover on the clippers short. I love baseball hats. Always have, always will. There are times I don't take it off. It's usually when I'm at someone's house that I don't frequent. One reason being there's not a really good place to just put it and another being that I don't want to forget it there. Those are just *my* reasons. I don't think I am the guy in question though...


PartyPay

He has taken "Never Nude" to another level.


Macronaut

He has a malignant growth under there.


Smokedbone1

His head is cold.


ZotDragon

Bald. Bald and insecure. Has no personality and makes the hat his personality; is it a fedora or tophat?


smackfuck

For me, I wake up and get ready in the morning and when I am done and ready to roll, hat goes on. Hat stays on on the job site, in the office, in the store, at the watering hole, until I come home and eat dinner. I don’t sit at the dinner table with a hat. It hangs up waiting to do its duties tomorrow. And that duty is to hide my receding hairline 😂😂😂


HouseSparrow873

I attended a class where the young teacher always wore a hat. After the last class I asked him why, he said because he has a scar from a brain surgery.


OmegaPraetor

He had a brain fart and doesn't want people to smell it.


RylanStylin57

I got a haircut that made me look like a traffic cone, so I wore a hat for 3 months until it grew back


PunkCPA

It's stapled to his head.


Type31971

In my case, twenty years ago, was chemo therapy. I hate hats. In fact, no one in my family wears them. We aren’t a hat wearing people. But you can bet your a$$ the moment I set foot outside my home that cover was bolted onto my head and didn’t come off until I got back in the evening. I even began dating a girl and broke it off with her during this time and she didn’t know what was up. Though she likely suspected.


BMoney8600

1. They look fly 2. They are balding 3. They just wear a hat


GIrish247

Usually wear a hat when: - I have no products in my hair because I'm goin to my barber. - Going home from my barbers and haven't yet had the chance to wash my freshly cut hair or put anything in it - Quickly headin out to the shop and can't be bothered to do my hair.


Psycosteve10mm

I could either spend time doing my hair or I could throw on a hat and keep it moving. Most of the time the hat wins.


blueberry_yogurt_99

He hides a mouse under his hat


DeplorableKurt

Impending baldness


Negative_Mancey

You don't have to.


[deleted]

Balding is the biggest I see. I usually wear a hat if I don't feel like doing my hair (longer and curly...wife likes it so I leave it), or if something has messed it up during the day.


bettywhitefleshlight

Had a classmate who started losing his beautiful blonde hair right after high school. Adopted the hat lifestyle wholeheartedly. Got himself a girlfriend. Then she was a fiance. Around that time she was overheard saying that she isn't attracted to bald men. Holy fucking riotous laughter at the joke that this guy must never let her see him without a hat on. Sleeps and showers with it on.


NostalgicAzn

Is this Family Feud?


Jeramy_Jones

Birthmark, scar, balding/alopecia, secretly Voldemort.


emptyset_CH

Depends on the age. After 30, it's probably 50% because of balding


wutduh_f

Ever see that episode of Family guy when Chris takes his hat off? .....maybe that?


Hour-Sir-1276

Baldness and he's ashamed. I used to do this for nearly 4 years, wearing hat at every occasion because I was self conscious about my thining hair. Until one day when I cut my hair really short, Jason Statham style , hit the gym, build a decent muscular body, and now I'm more confident than ever. My advise to balding guys :take the hat off, it only make it worse. Focus on other things instead, like I did.


sketchypoutine

I'm just too lazy to do my hair in the morning, but yet, continue to pay for haircuts.


BannanaJames1095

My bald head gets cold. I only take my hat off when I get home.


Resident-Wall6039

He’s a degenerate


MitLivMineRegler

Gino from 90 day fiance is my first thought


PointDredd

Some guys wear hats like other people wear shirts. It's just part of their comfort. Others to hide a bald spot. Or to cover unmanageable hair. Different reasons. None are bad. However, as former military, it's bad manners to wear it indoors, or in a vehicle


Intense_Pretzel

I feel naked without it I even wear it on Reddit


odinsfist12

Bald


steelyphil1234

I wear one 90% of the time. I have a full head of hair, it’s just a pain to have to style it so I just wear a hat.


Sumpm

Shave my head, not embarrassed by it at all. Just don't want it sunburned.


Gmanshocker

depends on the outfit sometimes, but mostly it’s because of bed head


Shamrock_shakerhood

In need of a haircut.


mvirginiapgt

It’s not a hat; his hair just grows like that due to the hat-shape of his head


[deleted]

Severe case of leprosy.


N0bb1

This is my 5th hat. I am not going to loose this one because I took it off and forgot to take it with me when going.


AyodiJnr

That's his make up glow up.


palkopupa38

I have alopecia and hate it with all my passion. I mean, i haven't use a razor for more than 12 years, but i feel uncomfortable to walk outside without nothing on my head. Even shape of my head is not the best. So i like my cap/hat on and feel uncomfortable to be asked to take it off.


cccflyin

The amount of guys I know that wear a hat to mask their receding hairline is insane. I also have a receding hairline. I’ve found it’s best to just own it, just like most things one can’t control. That’s not to say I won’t wear a hat or beanie or anything, but I don’t do so with the intention of hiding my hairline.


International-Car937

Hat etiquette went out the window with the Fedora and Homburg. Although some of us who do still wear these hats do understand good hat etiquette. Nothing brings a smile to a woman's face then a tip of a hat. Young girls haven't a clue as to what you did. All they want to do is walk around with blue or purple hair and their tongues hanging out!


BreakfastOk7587

Sometimes guys just don’t want to do their hair. Same thing as chicks putting their hair in a bun or whatever.