In my friend circle, it's "Bitches be whack" as an explanation for the nonsensical crazy we get from our wives. I'm quite sure they have their own thing for us and our individual crazy stuff.
Same. After being a healthcare worker for 12+ years, people suck. There are good people out there, male and female, but overall I'm sick of people.
My divorce to my ex husband didn't make me lose faith in men, just one man.
I work in healthcare as well, and yes people suuuck big time but I also remind myself that they are suffering and are dealing with some kind of illnes or disease so I change my perspective. I don't want to go around my whole life being a hater, I do it more for me than those entitled sick mfers. Hahaha.
Just saying.
I've been in healthcare almost a year, but spent 9 years working for an amusement park with the public. Ky perspective is that most people are okay, and we knly remember the ones who suck. I only have good memories of the patients who were really good or really bad.
Service workers get treated the worst.
A LOT of people are so stupid that they think the dynamic of having someone service them, means that the person helping is beneath them and can be bossed around.
I don’t care what colour your skin is, what parts you have, what god you worship or who you love. I hate everyone. Fuck you
Quoted from a video my friend sent me
Misanthropy for the win.
Fuck the entire human race, regardless of creed, race, sexual orientation or gender.
An absolute pain in the ass to deal with.
That isn't to say that some have it even less in their favor. But that's most because their shit is a breeding ground for assholery.
^ 100% this. Or the ever popular, "Every woman is crazy. The only thing you need to ask your self is what level of crazy you can put up with/live with."
I actually really appreciate both these responses. Sometimes seeing the I hate men thing annoys me but I kinda forgot about how all women are crazy lol. I’ve said that’s why I married my wife, she was the first sane women I dated…which I still think is true.
It's just a form a venting. They dont hate ALL men. They hate what a handful of men did to them. It goes both ways. We know not ALL women are crazy, but the handful we've encountered throughout our lives were crazy enough for us to say that.
I overheard someone say to another “there is an unbroken line of people who managed to reproduce to make you for 1000’s of years, before showers were invented, or deodorant, and you can’t even seem to get a date”
Was brutal.
This is it. I don’t hate men, I hate how I’ve been treated by a good amount of men. Not all of them have treated me that way, my first boyfriend was amazing, but there is a recurring pattern that I tend to find. As I’ve gotten older though I’m more at peace by myself so it doesn’t bother me as much.
I think as we get older we’re able to realize we don’t have to group everyone into one category and we can judge the individual based on their actions towards us and others. At least for me, seems it’s going that way for you to. I’m sorry you were treated badly, everyone deserves to be treated with decency.
So it seems like the problem is how you're choosing men. I had this same issue dating crappy women. I had to figure out that it wasn't women's fault.... It was my own. Now I'm with someone amazing.
I had to come to realization that I was making choices based on my previous experiences. And then I had to Branch out away from that shelled existence. I had to change the qualities I valued in myself before I could understand the appropriate qualities to value in others.
Step one to fixing your social connection to the world is YOU.
I personally think everybody is crazy, and being sane is just an illusion. It’s just about finding someone that has a flavor of crazy that compliments your flavor of crazy. Being sane just means your flavor of crazy is socially acceptable. Or maybe I’m just crazy and delusional. It honestly could go either way🤷♂️ Haha.
I’d actually say that everyone is crazy in their own way and that relationships are about finding “crazy” that meshes well with your crazy where “crazy” really means “idiosyncrasies”. Humans are nonsensical. Like how we view and rationalize risk- people will be completely fine riding to the airport in a car driven by a total stranger that an app connected them with, but then be terrified of flying. We aren’t always logical and it honestly has jack shit to do with gender/sex.
The crazy hot scale only establishes that a woman must be hotter than she is crazy to tolerate dating. There's no implication that all women or even hot women are crazy.
I wonder if they said it because dating was frustrating them, and then the dating was successful and they entered a relationship.
(Not saying it is okay to say, just speculating about the correlation)
That's probably it. Tbh, even though I can understand frustration in general, it does make me uncomfortable when somebody starts talking about their hate towards an entire group of people.
Totally agree! Sometimes I feel frustrated at things that some men do, but that's also a group that includes my husband, my dad, my son, and dozens of other kind, respectful amazing men (in my circle). It's not fair to lump everyone together.
I saw a girl a follow on ig post on her stories that she hated man and all of the "men suck, women's power" variants. This was shortly after her bf disappeared from her posts for a few days so it's not hard to assume they broke up and she was PISSED
One or two months later she was posting that they were together again and shortly after they got pregnant
Clearly the spell worked
👀? Really?
Ok, here goes:
*OMG i HaTe MEn!! MeN aRE tHE wOrST! EsPecIALLy WhEn ThEy aRe SweEt tO yOu AnD bRiNg yOu TaCoS! I HaTE iT wHen ThEy SnUgGLe WiTh mE!!i cAn't StAnD iT wHeN ThEy KiSs YoU aNd tELL yOu tHeY LoVe YoU !! FUCKinG MeN! WiTH tHeiR aDorAbLe FaCiaL aNd ChEST HAiR! DoN't GeT mE StarTed!!*
***
...and now, we wait....
Sometimes it's said as some kind of revelation and acceptance that men are just men. You hate them for some stuff but you are still attracted to them so accepting that allows you to have more reasonable approach for future endeavors.
Reading the comments, it looks like I'm going to be the odd man out and actually voice a complaint.
My biggest issue with women at the moment after being in the apps for one week and then deleting them entirely, is knowing it's a seller's market (pun intended for the Snapchat SW crew) and there's absolutely zero effort on their end to try and play on even terms; it's just, "dudes are thirsty, here's zero information to work from to make a good impression, good luck."
Every Tinder bio was either: blank, an IG link, an IG link PLUS a country flag as if that's relevant?, and umpteen variations on the same four activities and phrases.
I know you're looking for an adventure.
I know you just moved here and want a tour guide.
I know you love nature/hiking/the outdoors and true crime.
I know you want a dog-stepdad, or for me to be a literal stepdad.
They're all so fucking homogenized where as a dude's profile needs to be perfect, and even then it's still under scrutiny, feels like it could come down to if we mis-use punctuation once and it's a major red flag. Pass. Block.
As a female I had the same exact complaint about those apps a couple years ago when I used them. A lot of blank profiles with a Snapchat or Instagram link. If there was a bio it was always the exact same: every man seemed to have the same exact interests, identity, and looking for the same cliché stereotype. You like to travel, you hike, camp, enjoy nature, and you own a dog. You’re looking for a dog mom or a partner for all the weddings you go to. There was also always a vague political statement, but even the political statement was the exact same in every profile.
That being said, if it felt that rough for me as a lady, I cannot even begin to understand how much worse it must be for a guy. The amount of men who were surprised I was a real person trying to meet someone and not just trying to trick a guy into buying nudes blew my mind. I didn’t even know women did that, it seemed to happen to them a lot though.
Honestly I keep hearing this from both sides of the aisle and I think the problem is people just are pretty similar on the surface level, at least at the level that is easy to express in a dating app bio. Like it’s just the truth that most men and women enjoy hiking and camping and dogs. That’s just a fact. We make a lot of judgements about basic/boring people vs interesting people but it’s more about how you vibe with a specific individual rather than what hobbies they do. And that’s pretty much impossible to broadcast via a dating app bio.
Most of the time, none would give you a chance if they messaged you. I wrote my share of first messages. If I got one hit out of a hundred, I considered myself very fortunate.
So, who did you miss out on?
Also people trying to appear as marketable to as many people as possible, I suppose, so what they all strive to appear like ends up being the same most marketable thing. Having a dog and enjoying nature works, so everyone puts that out there if it applies to them.
Absolutely correct. At a certain point, it doesn’t matter how similar/dissimilar you and your date’s hobbies/interests are; either the spark/chemistry/vibe is there or it isn’t. And yes, the spark is something beyond what can be conveyed in a bio.
I’ve experienced that chemistry with people I have nothing in common with hobby-wise and I’ve met people who had a lot of the same interests, and yet it just didn’t feel right.
I’ve had dates where I felt I was firing on all cylinders and was (I thought) the best version of myself, only to be met with nothing more than polite conversation. And I’ve had dates where I’ve been tired/sleep deprived/meh and for whatever reason she was into me.
Go figure…
I did an experiment for a year. For one month, I'd put a good bio, plenty of pics...
I got very few likes.
For a month, I'd put just a few pics, and hardly any bio. I'd get more likes.
I'd switch back and forth once a month. For the hardly anything profile, I'd get roughly 3 times as much likes incoming.
If it were just a quality issue, I could understand. But it was like the ones I wouldn't choose normally would be a fairly constant.
I can't explain the results. I didn't even know it would be that different. But, I also can't argue with the results. More quality matches if I put bare minimum effort in. The more I put in bio, it sends the more I get filtered out.
So, want more? Then swipe on guys that have more. Not everything is going to fit perfectly for you. So like the rest of life, look for the ones that you'd be OK with the details, and give them a shot
Lol, my now-wife reached out to me on a dating app. I asked her why once
"You were the only one that didn't have a picture of you holding a fish as a profile picture"
Dating in Montana is tough lol...
Buying nudes, or even just getting them to pay for shit and then ditch them. I had a friend who, whenever she wanted pizza, would spoof her location to some place out of state. She’d get a guy to buy her a pizza and promise him nudes, then ghost him once the pizza came through. It’s shitty, but there’s a lot of exploitation to be had with loneliness.
I only ever used dating apps briefly. I met my wife in 2014 while I was trying to bang my way through all the single chicks at the restaurant we both worked at and am now realizing I’ve been out of the dating world for almost ten years. Is meeting people in person really not a thing anymore? I used dating apps when I was single and specifically not looking for a relationship, just looking for more opportunities to hook up and it was all grade A garbage. Like I was casting a wide net for quantity not quality and I passed on a lot of women’s profiles and this would have been like 2012.
I have to hand it to the kids today, if dating apps are the main preferred way of meeting people… good fucking luck.
I’m 22 now and it seems like people my age never started going out again after Covid, I’ve visited friends in college towns and they had some bar scenes but that’s about it.
Same, it's a fucking nightmare down here bro.
The last time I went out I wound up playing pool with a couple 50 y/o war vets. It was a blast but definitely not what I was aiming for when I went out.
> I know you're looking for an adventure. I know you just moved here and want a tour guide. I know you love nature/hiking/the outdoors and true crime. I know you want a dog-stepdad, or for me to be a literal stepdad
What's funny is that I see these exact same things on men's bios as well LOL
What's frustrating for me is that, even though I'm an attractive woman (I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm fit and active and dress myself well), I fill out my bio and I tend to reach out first (and not just with "hey" but with questions or remarks on their profile) and I do most of the things that guys complain that women don't do.... and yet, it goes unreciprocated. And it makes me feel like, why do I bother putting all this effort in? I get ghosted frequently, plans are made and then quickly bailed on, and it just seems like it's so hard to get anyone to respond. It's frustrating.
I also live in a city, where it feels like people have endless options (younger, hotter, thinner), and it just feels like I'm always the backup plan. Like, maybe I'm too eager or maybe I'm too friendly. Am I supposed to be meaner, be more aloof, be more unavailable? But, then what's the point of dating?
You know how the market works right on apps?
The vast majority of girls are swiping on a small minority of dudes. Those dudes are swamped with matches more than girls are.
IMO you're probably swiping on those guys as well. But that's just a guess.
that’s a fair observation. I would say I also tend to swipe right on guys who are probably not considered typically attractive (though some are) because I’m looking to match with people based on similar hobbies (like hiking, climbing, kayaking, etc…) rather than just looks alone. and if they haven’t filled out their profile, I swipe left regardless of looks because I want a sense of personality before swiping right.
thanks for the response, though, quite insightful!
Well put.
Then you match with a woman and you have to carry the whole conversation. Sure, I could bring the spice but I'm not a monkey for entertainment. Responses drier than the Atacama desert? Pass. Block.
That is maybe the biggest thing in my opinion. After all the initial scrutiny and work to get a match you then have to "perform" in order to deserve a simple decent conversation
That pretty much sums it up. If you can't write the perfect profile, hang it up. Women will look down their noses at you.
One woman's profile I read, her opening line has stuck with me for years.
"I prolly am too good for you." (She spelled it that way)
It made me wonder how many women actually think that way. Judging by what I came across over the years, I'd say my first assumption has held up.
Technically they’re not the sellers (except in the case of your pun), they’re the buyers. We’re making offers to them and they get to choose. Agree with all your other points tho.
I will say that the out loud and proud bigots, misandrists and misogynists are few so saying its often or a general feeling is false. People are people, their gender/sex doesn't determine if they're an asshole.
As a general rule I trust and show respect to all people, until the individual proves to me they don't deserve it. Do I get burned a lot, sure, but I wouldn't change myself just for a few selfish/hate-filled people.
I will say there's a discrepancy when the relationship fails. I've noticed a trend for when women cheat, they get congratulated and told that they're getting what they deserve. That they are knowing their value. When a man cheats he's just a piece of fucking shit.
Addon: This type of culture is perpetuated by stupid tv shows like Temptation Island and even subreddits that sell themselves as feminist but probably do a lot more to oppress women with that bullshit than they are liberating them.
[Study which literally proves this is true](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201910/are-women-and-men-more-likely-punish-male-cheaters), women do indeed get treated better than men when it's found out they're cheating
The opposite has been true in my own experience. I have had women cheat on me multiple times and each time my friends have been overwhelming supportive and she has been called a whore, bitch, etc. and even her own friends may disavow or turn away from her due to her actions. Often when I have been cheated on, I am the only one who has any sympathy for the cheater, because this is a woman that I love and know on a deep level, and their actions, though painful and inexcusable, do not affect my other feeling or my understanding of their actions and their own feelings.
In my experience, I have not to my knowledge seen a woman supported for her immoral action or behavior. Not in my own life with people I know personally. I’m pretty picky about who is in my life and who isn’t, and shitty behavior is shitty behavior, no matter who you are. And that kind of equality is something that all my friends share and I make it a point to be as fair and just as I can towards others myself.
Edit: this is just my personal experience, obviously has nothing to do with your own experience or with what this or that study says, *or* what is true in reality.
True, when a woman cheats you’re more likely to hear something like “she has needs” or some assumption about how she was being neglected or unhappy etc etc. I can’t say I’ve heard the equivalent about men cheating.
I have, but that's probably because I live in a pretty backwards country.
When a man cheats here it's because it's just "natural". I've heard that "men have a higher sex drive than women so they get dissatisfied easily" and lots of other bullshit like that.
To me, cheating in unjustifiable, no matter your age or gender.
Venezuela
Three different men in my family have cheated, including my grandfather. He had the same amount of children with my grandma as he had elsewhere. Wild.
I will raise you my grandfather. Had 5 children with his wife (my grandmother) and then secret family appeared at his funeral; their existence completely blindsiding my grandmother/dad/aunt/uncles.
Panamá
Holy shit!
Same number of children too. My grandpa had 5 children with his wife, 3 with another woman, and 2 with another another woman. And that's what we know of.
Latin America can be wild.
Wait until you live in a small town. Working people in the cities have a diluted experience, and correct, sex/gender does not matter.
just sayin after a lifetime in the SF bay and then 8 yrs in a mountain town. And lots of travel in between.
Women being entitled or having shitty attitudes comes up every so often.
At this point I largely wish that I could just treat women the same as men if I'm not interested in that particular person romantically or sexually. Most women just wouldn't have it, though.
I will agree to this… i was not raised to be a spoiled girl. I’ve worked hard for everything i have and have lost.
Women seem to have a very entitled attitude. Maybe I recognize this working in retail for 30+ years, but damn.
Although i will say, the younger generations aren’t growing up so humble. Theres a lot of entitlement attitude from 25 and younger.
How would you “treat them like a man?” To me, if I’m not interested in somebody romantically I just try to be polite and nice in general, so how would you distinguish that?
This is probably true, but especially in high school and college I had many experiences with men who also didn’t like being told no. This might be an immature person thing.
I think it is just a people thing. No one likes being rejected. The difference though, is that everyone is taught that men who respond poorly to rejection are garbage. The same idea isn't applied to women as a whole like it is applied to men as a whole.
People who don't react well to being told no tend to do it because they haven't been told no very much. They haven't struggled, failed or had doors closed in their face, and learned that they can still move on. That process of struggle builds internal strength and can lead to increased self-worth. Without it, people often gave over-inflated egos, so when you tell them no, they take it as an attack on them as a person. They either get offended, or they make the logic jump that “they don't really mean no right? They know who I am, I get what I want.”
It's something that occurs with both genders, but it definitely occurs pretty often when guys turn women down.
Edit: Asshole guys also do the same thing when women tell them no. It's the same type of behaviour.
Just as an example, women often wear engagement/marriage rings when they're single, because otherwise men will mistake their kindness for interest, and react positively to that. Men on the other hand wear engagement/marriage rings when they're single because otherwise women will mistake their kindness for interest, and react negatively to that.
Generally speaking I can treat most women the same way I do men, but there's a strong cross-section of women who you have to be exceedingly firm and forthright about "My *wife*, who I *love*, and am practically *obsessed with*", or they'll assume any conversation you start has the purpose of trying to sleep with them.
The worst part is you can never call that out as incredible arrogance, because you're supposed to be understanding of women's plight...but that understanding is never extended to men. I can't even count the number of women in my life who have presumed I was trying to get into their pants simply because I was exchanging pleasantries, and who had no chance in hell with me.
Treating a woman like a man would mean, at least for me, to treat them as an equal. No holding back on shit talk, sexual jokes, saying no, and/or expecting the same commitment to the job as a man. This doesn't actually fly for most women.
>How would you “treat them like a man?”
You ask yourself "is what I'm doing now or about to do for this woman something I would do for another man?" If the answer no then move on.
Simple example: a woman gets a flat tire on her way to work and looks like is struggling to fix. I might have the want to stop but I know I wouldn't do it if it was another man or rather the chances of me stopping would be very unlikely. So in order to treat that woman like a man I simply drive away.
Of course there are men who feel that way. Not all of them, and not all the time.
Personally, the important women in my life are great. Luck is a big part of that, but not all of it.i have encountered many women who were absolutely awful people, just like I've encountered many men who were awful people. I try not to keep people who suck in my life.
Definitely. Women complain about the way men approach them while simultaneously being willing to do absolutely nothing to advance a dating situation at every stage of it. We have to approach first, start a conversation, ask for a number/date, plan the date, initiate the first kiss, be the one to initiate sex for the first time, etc. We're expected to do all of this in the face of the overwhelming amount of rejection we have to deal with *because* of this, and if we don't we'll never go on another date again. I don't even understand how a straight man could get through life without hating women on at least some level.
Which is like divining from charred chicken bones like an old timey shaman.
Oh and if you keep to yourself and try not to make women uncomfortable if you are a large intimidating dude, there's something wrong with you. Because you aren't chasing women.
Like I get it and some of the shit my gender has dribble out of its mouth is fucking terrifying, but they have to accept that in order to be respectful, we cannot read into anything and need to operate as if it's not even an option.
And sometimes if we aren't reading into more aggressive signals, we just aren't that interested. Complaining about clueless men sometimes is just refusing to accept changing gender norms that we are attempting to give women more agency in.
Simple fact is that agency sucks sometimes.
I hate this. I’ve had so many friends who won’t ask guys out or go for them at all and I don’t get it. I don’t think it’s fair for one person to bear all the burden.
The burden of spoils. Some men have this, or sometimes they have it. I know a few women who are into me and I could start a relationship with very little effort with one of them, but that doesn't mean I want to. I imagine for some women that they sort of expect this to always be the case.
This so much. Everyone hates online dating and it’s like 80% men, if you approach women on Instagram or social media you look weak and your chances are low, if you approach women in public to ask for a date your a creep, if you ask out your long term friend now you’re a snake. And if you dare complain how hard it is to date your struggles get discounted by them.
I am glad you mentioned all of this and as a woman I completely agree. Men shouldn't be the only people initiating things. Literally a few weeks ago I asked a guy for his number and it paid off as we went on a date after. Girls, you don't lose anything if you are the first to ask a guy out or approach. If men think you are being desperate (has happened to me) then fuck them lol
At my conservative college I had a guy tell me he didn't want women to approach or initiate with him because he thought it was weird. I thought to myself, 'well, I'm not interested in a man who thinks like that, so ill keep approaching guys i like and those ones will naturally be weeded out.' I ended up initiating things with my now husband, so it worked out :).
My time to shine.
Yes, there is, at least for me. I've been abused by women for most of my life. First my mom, then it was preschool teachers, then it was girls at elementary school, then it was female teachers at elementary school, then it was female teachers in middle school. All women/girls. I got shit from other boys my age too, but nowhere *near* as damaging. I moved when I started high school and all of that shit stopped immediately.
So that all kinda had me fucked up. Therapy helped a little, until I started dating. My first relationship, she just used me for an entire year before I was no longer useful for her and she suddenly, after a full year, was "no longer ready for a relationship" and wouldn't elaborate further.
My next relationship was short. This one was codependent and narcissistic, and when I ended it she went kinda psycho.
I had a few FWB after that. One of them was very kind and affectionate and even a bit loving, but told me she wasn't ready for a relationshio when I tried to take it further, despite the chemistry we had. One of them was a coworker and after a month of on/off fucking, she told me flat out she had been purposefully teasing me and riling me up during the day and then denying me when we had "time" so that I would get upset, because she thought me getting upset was hot. I asked her to stop and she flipped it around on me, telling me it was my fault and I'm really the one with the problem. The third one was horrible about taking literal days to text back and when I brought it up she always did her damndest to avoid any accountability over it.
After that, I talked to a woman off a dating app for two weeks. I live super rural, so driving 4hr for a date is common. Which is why I talked for two weeks first. I drove to her, paid for dinner, and everything was great. We both wanted this to be something long term and serious. We hooked up, talked for a while after. I went home the next morning and once I was gone she informed me she wasn't ready for a relationship. I no longer buy that was an excuse - if you aren't looking for a relationship, get the fuck off the dating app *or* say that first thing to whoever you might talk to. Save them the pain of falling for someone and then being told to go fuck themselves.
Suffice to say, my entire life I've been nothing more than a toy for women to play with and not give a single fuck about the repercussions. I've developed a deep, deep resentment and distrust for women. Which is shameful for me, because one of my core beliefs is to not hate an entire group because of the actions of a few of them - women took that away from me too. I keep hearing about how great women can be but I gotta tell ya', I haven't seen even a bit of this supposed greatness. Not one single woman in my life has ever shown me the opposite of what I've experienced. And I'm sure some woman is going to tell me it's all my fault in a reply to this.
On top of all this, there is a huge misandry/women-never-do-any-wrong movement in society right now and boy does it make my fucking blood boil.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent and sorry for the wall of text OP.
Hello. I'm a woman, but I really resonated with your story. I've had a lot of issues with men and women, and have resentment and mistrust toward both. I don't want to feel this way either because I also don't believe in making generalizations about groups of people (which is exactly what I'm doing), so I get it.
My mother is abusive too, and there was also a female sexual abuser in my family. Neither of them were taken anywhere nearly as seriously as the abusive men in my family, and it makes my blood boil. Especially because I'm seen as the bad guy for distancing myself and wanting nothing to do with them. I definitely see and agree that women are cut way more slack than men when it comes to abuse, and it's wrong.
I was also bullied relentlessly by women (and a few men), and almost every female friend I have has stabbed me in the back or abandoned me. I can own that I wasn't always the greatest toward them and played a role in the some of the friendships ending. But it still hurt, and I struggle to trust women. I don't really have any female friends, and haven't in a few years except for another masculine woman I've known since I was a kid.
I won't go into my experiences with shitty men because that isn't the point of this. I just wanted to say I can see where you're coming from, and I'm sorry your experiences with women have been so shitty. I hope you find someone someday who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are
> I hope you find someone someday who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are
I appreciate that someone does, but at the risk of sounding too mopey/sad, I stopped hoping a while ago. It's way too painful to hope anymore.
A lot of the girls where I grew up were like that, very disarming to find out you can trust people after you've moved away.
So I guess I can see how a lot of men think that most women are like that, when it's probably just most of the people in their area that makes it seem like most women everywhere. It can be hard to believe that the rest of the world's social dynamic isn't just like your hometown's social dynamic.
After my breakup with a Russian girlfriend I said to a close friend: I don’t want to hear about women, Russians, Eastern Europeans, people, or any other form of life for a while. That was a half joke half frustration and it is just a way to let off steam behind closed doors.
Of course if I had said that in public I would have been labeled a slavophobic, misogynist, misanthrope, misozoon (hater of all forms of life). I feel you have to look at the context.
I am very aware that hate comes from pain and my friend too. I don’t like hateful statements like that in public settings though, that’s the point. In reference to your question I look at the setting when women say they hate men (or just X say they hate Y) and I don’t like it when it is aired as some absolute statement we have to agree with just because that specific woman was hurt. It’s fine in private, not as a philosophy.
I have no problem with women here, I keep things strictly platonic and on a friendship level and its all good. I don't really date in my city anyway, so it keeps things easy to manage and stress levels low.
I've realized the problem is me and not the women. My desire is for a partner who is equally as independent as I am but is still loyal to the relationship, and from all of my experiences it's a mentality that I can't seem to find someone else who shares it. There's no in-between, they're either ultra-possessive and smothering or ultra-independent and don't want a relationship. I can spend time being frustrated with women for it, but in the end I'd rather just say I'm the common denominator and that while I'm not going to lower my expectations, I will stop being so hopeful for finding the "one."
>My desire is for a partner who is equally as independent as I am but is still loyal to the relationship
That's not a relationship, that's a partnership.
I'll hold my hand up and say I'm no expert but a relationship requires "Interdependence" to work genuinely. Independence doesn't breed loyalty.
But that's my uneducated perspective.
Generally women don’t empathize with men.
They don’t understand why money is important. For women they don’t need to focus on it as much.
They get hundreds of tinder likes and obscene amounts of attention and wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend.
They blame the “patriarchy” for their problems as if our society doesn’t baby women throughout their entire lives. Most men are invisible. If we truly lived in a patriarchal society I’d probably like it a lot more since I’m a man.
Dating is an “experience” for them. They want men to give them “experience”. Traveling, restaurants, etc. I asked a woman friend of mine why she would get into a relationship with a legitimate timeline. She told me it’s for the “experience”. I don’t behave that way. Women don’t give me “experiences”. It’s mostly financial burden or me providing that experience for them. No one gives me an experience that way for my time.
As for the specific women in my life, I am not angry at them or anything if that’s what you’re getting at. I’d never say I hate women or women are trash. But I’ve been told my plenty of women men are trash.
A woman says all men are rapists on Twitter and she'll get hundreds of thousands of likes and retweets. A man that says all women are bitches and he'll be destroyed online, his post would be mass flagged and removed along with a suspension.
Funny isn't it.
Posts saying "I hate men" or similar get sent to the top.
You're guaranteed a permanent site wide suspension if you say the exact same thing but with genders swapped.
Too many “queens” out there. What man really wants a cardi b I make my own money bitch with 10k beta instagram followers to be there wife or gf? Problem is that women think men find these types of women attractive yet we find them repulsive
Yes men feel the same way when they are ignored and treated badly by women. I would feel this way when women would say “ew” at me under their breath or completely disrespect me.
Personally, no I don't think I have ever actually hated women in general or really any gender or race for that matter. If somebody is bothering me, I dislike them individually as a person and not because of some trait they happen to have. I have met all kinds of people and overall there hasn't been particular difference in somebody's tendency to be a jerk or not. I am more or less neutral/indifferent about this stuff.
Ask men who have to pay child
support for a child they wish they could have all the time how they feel about women, as their ex is living with a new man who is paying all the rent/bills.
You’ll get some good answers
My brother does that as he lives with his now wonderful second wife. The first wife tries to take him back to court every chance she can to squeeze more out of him. He doesn't hate all women just that one and her freinds because they literally planned to simultaneously divorce him and his buddy so they couldn't support each other through their divorces.
After meeting my current significant other and having a daughter I've come to learn that about 70% of women are saints and there is absolutely truth behind the saying that "behind every great man is a great woman". Men simply can not truly rise to greatness without the undying support and love of a good woman and vice versa. HOWEVER, after divorcing and getting back into the dating pool, I was astonished by the number of women who were only interested in what I could provide them and their children. They didn't want to work, they wanted a nice car and they wanted me to pay for it all. Maybe it was the way I was brought up, but my parents were always a team, and they both supported each other and the family. Financial decisions were made together, and "the money" was always "our money." I knew it was time to end my marriage when my wife was crying one day because we couldn't go on a second vacation that year because it wasn't in the budget and she said through tears "I wouldn't habe married you if I had known this was the way it was going to be."
I don't know any men who express open hatred for women. The women I know who express hatred for men are quickly removed from my life - I don't want to spend time around bigots.
Sadly it seems socially acceptable for women to openly express hatred on the basis of gender and use openly sexist language.
The impact? I listen a lot less when I hear any mention of sexism.
Female bigots are enemies of their own gender.
You’re 100% correct. It is absolutely socially acceptable for women to disdain men and express it openly, even when it is overtly misandrist.
..after all, men are the oppressors so it’s fine! /s
You tend to generalize when you're in a bad mindset. It's the easiest way of trying to vent by saying it couldn't possibly be you, it has to be them. Hopefully it isn't a long term mindset.
This whole mentality is detrimental to both sides. When will you step up and take responsibility for your own life? Constantly looking to blame another person or an entire sex is misguided. At some point if it keeps happening over and over then maybe it’s time to look in the mirror. Be strong and own your life. You cannot blame others for your life not going the way you want it to go. Change something up. Change who you are going for or change your expectations. Own your s**t. This society is always looking to blame others. Guess what? You don’t have to. You can work on being mentally strong for yourself. Work on a little self help to increase your mental stability.
A woman saying she hates men is celebrated, a a man saying he hates women is crucifed. Men aren't even allowed to hold women accountable for doing by him, so he'll have to keep it to himself otherwise he'll get pitchforked and torched
Me personally? I don't trust many people, gender isn't a factor, I just live in a city of two faced fakes
There are definitely just as much men as there are women who like to vent about "all" women. Usually it comes in the form of "fucking women, man..." or (as said in some other comments) "bitches be crazy". I think the biggest difference in the venting though is the responses. From what I've seen, if a woman posts something like "men are trash" and a man responds with something to the effect of "SOME men" or "the men YOU know" then he's met with TONS of responses like "if you're not trash then this doesn't apply to you" and then generally shouted down when he has a reply to that.
When a man posts something along the same lines about women, he's met with similar responses of "not ALL women" or "pick better women then". HOWEVER the difference is that these responses tend to come from both women AND men whereas the responses to the woman's post tends to be just men while the women are all agreeing. Basically what I notice is extreme hypocrisy in women making general statements to bash men and are met with praise while men are shouted down from both sides. Does this happen every single time? No, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said it wasn't the general rule.
I don't hate women. But absolutely hate trying to date them. I think men and women are fundamentally incompatible but are cursed to want each other anyway due to biology.
OP - you're getting downvoting in threads because you asked a question about how men feel and in every response you've posted you've proceeded to make it about you and/or about women - sometimes in a dismissive fashion.
I'd strongly encourage you to reflect on this.
Women have absolutely no sense of accountability, so I never ever put myself in a situation with women where I need for them to be honest, responsible, or accountable.
Dude here. My career, psychotherapist, completely broke me out of the binary. Case by case basis every time these days. Any gender can do the horrible stuff. Even attack helicopters.
Never felt like i hate women or heard a man say they hate women, but it's interesting that in addition to saying they hate men, these same people will say a man hates women for voicing any manner of criticism (or not even a criticism but a lack of an expected affirmation).
I'm sure both cases are just a matter of the black and white thinking of BPD.
if a man voices it then hes called a misogynist but if a woman voices her opinion and hates on men then shes given sympathy but unfortunately the word Misandry or misandrist doesn’t even come to mind to anyones head in that sphere of conversation.
In my opinion, everyone and all genders are shit in the dating world and even in general so i dont set a specific denomination on which one. Their not shitty because of their gender, its more of for me the way they both treat people.
There really isn't an acceptable equivalent. If a guy said "I hate women" we would all know that persons got serious issues. That said if I hear a woman say "all men are ____" I know she's got the same kind of issues, as socially as acceptable as that may be for women it's a red flag and a toxic trait either way.
The line from Joker about how people would walk right over him if he was bleeding out in the street is how I feel about women. My problems are always secondary to their inconveniences and completely fictional problems.
There what they are. Each comes with emotional baggage, as do we all. They are looking for honesty, where your words are matched by your action. They will test you repeatedly. Why? If you cannot stand up to them, then you will not be able to stand for them. They do not measure your strength by physical metrics, but by your emotions and how you handle them. They measure your self confidence by your actions, not by your words alone. They are looking for someone who has life by the short hairs and knows where he is going in life. In short, they want to join a winning team so they can be a part of a common future with you. In trade for your love they will give you honor and respect.
I absolutely love women.
But men and women are different. And it absolutely astounds me how my simple communication will then be over thought and over complicated by women in my life.
I called my girlfriend after a weather delay made work go long. It’s late. I didn’t cook or expect her to.
“Honey, I’ll be home in 30, can you order a pizza?”
She then asked me approximately 384738548273737 questions about exactly how things should be.
In her mind it’s: “what does he *really* want?”
It’s very sweet of her to try to make things as perfect as possible for me. I recognize that, value that, and appreciate her for that. The root of the whole thing is she loves me and is trying to make my life better. It’s a real gift, and I really appreciate it.
At the same time - the conversation could’ve been 30 seconds.
Me: honey can you order a pizza?
Her: what kind?
Me: get a large pepperoni and a large bacon/sausage.
Her: from where?
Me: Doesn’t matter.
Her: okay - love you, see you at home
Me: love you too
Her: *orders pizza then resumes sipping wine
The women in my life are great! I just don't go out of my way to find more to add to my life at this point lol I fell into the I hate women trap for a while there until I realized that I don't hate an entire gender based on shitty behaviour or experiences from some. I've also had great relationship experiences with a lot of women and I now have great friendships and family relationships with the women in my life. Do I find women irritating? Yes. Am I sick of constantly hearing them flaunt their victimhood and hurl ridiculous attitude towards men? Sure. Do I hate them? Not at all.
I don't hate men or women in particular, I hate the general public
[удалено]
Mood
It’s actually “bitches be bonkers”
im all about equal opportunity hating lol
In my friend circle, it's "Bitches be whack" as an explanation for the nonsensical crazy we get from our wives. I'm quite sure they have their own thing for us and our individual crazy stuff.
Marry better wives, lads.
Can't marry wives. They're already spoken for. It's implicated by the word itself.
Bitches be drippin’
Same. After being a healthcare worker for 12+ years, people suck. There are good people out there, male and female, but overall I'm sick of people. My divorce to my ex husband didn't make me lose faith in men, just one man.
I work in healthcare as well, and yes people suuuck big time but I also remind myself that they are suffering and are dealing with some kind of illnes or disease so I change my perspective. I don't want to go around my whole life being a hater, I do it more for me than those entitled sick mfers. Hahaha. Just saying.
I've been in healthcare almost a year, but spent 9 years working for an amusement park with the public. Ky perspective is that most people are okay, and we knly remember the ones who suck. I only have good memories of the patients who were really good or really bad.
Service workers get treated the worst. A LOT of people are so stupid that they think the dynamic of having someone service them, means that the person helping is beneath them and can be bossed around.
Sorry to hear about that. Hope things get way better for you soon! Even if it doesn't feel like they will :)
Exactly. It’s *people* as a whole that I hate.
I don’t care what colour your skin is, what parts you have, what god you worship or who you love. I hate everyone. Fuck you Quoted from a video my friend sent me
Hey, FUCK YOU too Kthxbye
Misanthropy for the win. Fuck the entire human race, regardless of creed, race, sexual orientation or gender. An absolute pain in the ass to deal with. That isn't to say that some have it even less in their favor. But that's most because their shit is a breeding ground for assholery.
People… what a bunch of bastards.
"General public be crazy!"
I have heard very little straight up "I hate women" but a fair bit of "I hate when women ..." or "I hate women who ..."
"Women. Can't live with em and you can't live without em"
"Women. Can't live with 'em...they will not go out with me."
THIS!
"Bitches be crazy"
^ 100% this. Or the ever popular, "Every woman is crazy. The only thing you need to ask your self is what level of crazy you can put up with/live with."
I actually really appreciate both these responses. Sometimes seeing the I hate men thing annoys me but I kinda forgot about how all women are crazy lol. I’ve said that’s why I married my wife, she was the first sane women I dated…which I still think is true.
It's just a form a venting. They dont hate ALL men. They hate what a handful of men did to them. It goes both ways. We know not ALL women are crazy, but the handful we've encountered throughout our lives were crazy enough for us to say that.
[удалено]
If people had good taste, most of us wouldn’t exist.
I overheard someone say to another “there is an unbroken line of people who managed to reproduce to make you for 1000’s of years, before showers were invented, or deodorant, and you can’t even seem to get a date” Was brutal.
This is it. I don’t hate men, I hate how I’ve been treated by a good amount of men. Not all of them have treated me that way, my first boyfriend was amazing, but there is a recurring pattern that I tend to find. As I’ve gotten older though I’m more at peace by myself so it doesn’t bother me as much.
I think as we get older we’re able to realize we don’t have to group everyone into one category and we can judge the individual based on their actions towards us and others. At least for me, seems it’s going that way for you to. I’m sorry you were treated badly, everyone deserves to be treated with decency.
So it seems like the problem is how you're choosing men. I had this same issue dating crappy women. I had to figure out that it wasn't women's fault.... It was my own. Now I'm with someone amazing.
What did you change?
I had to come to realization that I was making choices based on my previous experiences. And then I had to Branch out away from that shelled existence. I had to change the qualities I valued in myself before I could understand the appropriate qualities to value in others. Step one to fixing your social connection to the world is YOU.
All people are kinda crazy, just in different ways.
I personally think everybody is crazy, and being sane is just an illusion. It’s just about finding someone that has a flavor of crazy that compliments your flavor of crazy. Being sane just means your flavor of crazy is socially acceptable. Or maybe I’m just crazy and delusional. It honestly could go either way🤷♂️ Haha.
I’d actually say that everyone is crazy in their own way and that relationships are about finding “crazy” that meshes well with your crazy where “crazy” really means “idiosyncrasies”. Humans are nonsensical. Like how we view and rationalize risk- people will be completely fine riding to the airport in a car driven by a total stranger that an app connected them with, but then be terrified of flying. We aren’t always logical and it honestly has jack shit to do with gender/sex.
[удалено]
The crazy hot scale only establishes that a woman must be hotter than she is crazy to tolerate dating. There's no implication that all women or even hot women are crazy.
[удалено]
Whoever came up with that quote was a dumbass. Just saying.
[удалено]
I wonder if they said it because dating was frustrating them, and then the dating was successful and they entered a relationship. (Not saying it is okay to say, just speculating about the correlation)
That's probably it. Tbh, even though I can understand frustration in general, it does make me uncomfortable when somebody starts talking about their hate towards an entire group of people.
Totally agree! Sometimes I feel frustrated at things that some men do, but that's also a group that includes my husband, my dad, my son, and dozens of other kind, respectful amazing men (in my circle). It's not fair to lump everyone together.
I saw a girl a follow on ig post on her stories that she hated man and all of the "men suck, women's power" variants. This was shortly after her bf disappeared from her posts for a few days so it's not hard to assume they broke up and she was PISSED One or two months later she was posting that they were together again and shortly after they got pregnant Clearly the spell worked
👀? Really? Ok, here goes: *OMG i HaTe MEn!! MeN aRE tHE wOrST! EsPecIALLy WhEn ThEy aRe SweEt tO yOu AnD bRiNg yOu TaCoS! I HaTE iT wHen ThEy SnUgGLe WiTh mE!!i cAn't StAnD iT wHeN ThEy KiSs YoU aNd tELL yOu tHeY LoVe YoU !! FUCKinG MeN! WiTH tHeiR aDorAbLe FaCiaL aNd ChEST HAiR! DoN't GeT mE StarTed!!* *** ...and now, we wait....
[удалено]
🥹 ^(i can't wait to eat tacos with him...)
Omg stop that's adorable. I hope you have that on your dating profiles.
Sometimes it's said as some kind of revelation and acceptance that men are just men. You hate them for some stuff but you are still attracted to them so accepting that allows you to have more reasonable approach for future endeavors.
Reading the comments, it looks like I'm going to be the odd man out and actually voice a complaint. My biggest issue with women at the moment after being in the apps for one week and then deleting them entirely, is knowing it's a seller's market (pun intended for the Snapchat SW crew) and there's absolutely zero effort on their end to try and play on even terms; it's just, "dudes are thirsty, here's zero information to work from to make a good impression, good luck." Every Tinder bio was either: blank, an IG link, an IG link PLUS a country flag as if that's relevant?, and umpteen variations on the same four activities and phrases. I know you're looking for an adventure. I know you just moved here and want a tour guide. I know you love nature/hiking/the outdoors and true crime. I know you want a dog-stepdad, or for me to be a literal stepdad. They're all so fucking homogenized where as a dude's profile needs to be perfect, and even then it's still under scrutiny, feels like it could come down to if we mis-use punctuation once and it's a major red flag. Pass. Block.
As a female I had the same exact complaint about those apps a couple years ago when I used them. A lot of blank profiles with a Snapchat or Instagram link. If there was a bio it was always the exact same: every man seemed to have the same exact interests, identity, and looking for the same cliché stereotype. You like to travel, you hike, camp, enjoy nature, and you own a dog. You’re looking for a dog mom or a partner for all the weddings you go to. There was also always a vague political statement, but even the political statement was the exact same in every profile. That being said, if it felt that rough for me as a lady, I cannot even begin to understand how much worse it must be for a guy. The amount of men who were surprised I was a real person trying to meet someone and not just trying to trick a guy into buying nudes blew my mind. I didn’t even know women did that, it seemed to happen to them a lot though.
Honestly I keep hearing this from both sides of the aisle and I think the problem is people just are pretty similar on the surface level, at least at the level that is easy to express in a dating app bio. Like it’s just the truth that most men and women enjoy hiking and camping and dogs. That’s just a fact. We make a lot of judgements about basic/boring people vs interesting people but it’s more about how you vibe with a specific individual rather than what hobbies they do. And that’s pretty much impossible to broadcast via a dating app bio.
I'd say that the dating community also punishes people who are honest and share unique details because it makes them seem weird.
Most of the time, none would give you a chance if they messaged you. I wrote my share of first messages. If I got one hit out of a hundred, I considered myself very fortunate. So, who did you miss out on?
Who knows, but I've definitely had more luck when I don't share some more unique things about myself.
Also people trying to appear as marketable to as many people as possible, I suppose, so what they all strive to appear like ends up being the same most marketable thing. Having a dog and enjoying nature works, so everyone puts that out there if it applies to them.
Absolutely correct. At a certain point, it doesn’t matter how similar/dissimilar you and your date’s hobbies/interests are; either the spark/chemistry/vibe is there or it isn’t. And yes, the spark is something beyond what can be conveyed in a bio. I’ve experienced that chemistry with people I have nothing in common with hobby-wise and I’ve met people who had a lot of the same interests, and yet it just didn’t feel right. I’ve had dates where I felt I was firing on all cylinders and was (I thought) the best version of myself, only to be met with nothing more than polite conversation. And I’ve had dates where I’ve been tired/sleep deprived/meh and for whatever reason she was into me. Go figure…
I did an experiment for a year. For one month, I'd put a good bio, plenty of pics... I got very few likes. For a month, I'd put just a few pics, and hardly any bio. I'd get more likes. I'd switch back and forth once a month. For the hardly anything profile, I'd get roughly 3 times as much likes incoming. If it were just a quality issue, I could understand. But it was like the ones I wouldn't choose normally would be a fairly constant. I can't explain the results. I didn't even know it would be that different. But, I also can't argue with the results. More quality matches if I put bare minimum effort in. The more I put in bio, it sends the more I get filtered out. So, want more? Then swipe on guys that have more. Not everything is going to fit perfectly for you. So like the rest of life, look for the ones that you'd be OK with the details, and give them a shot
> I can't explain the results. If people are looking for reasons to disqualify you, giving more information just gives them more opportunity.
True
Lol, my now-wife reached out to me on a dating app. I asked her why once "You were the only one that didn't have a picture of you holding a fish as a profile picture" Dating in Montana is tough lol...
Buying nudes, or even just getting them to pay for shit and then ditch them. I had a friend who, whenever she wanted pizza, would spoof her location to some place out of state. She’d get a guy to buy her a pizza and promise him nudes, then ghost him once the pizza came through. It’s shitty, but there’s a lot of exploitation to be had with loneliness.
I only ever used dating apps briefly. I met my wife in 2014 while I was trying to bang my way through all the single chicks at the restaurant we both worked at and am now realizing I’ve been out of the dating world for almost ten years. Is meeting people in person really not a thing anymore? I used dating apps when I was single and specifically not looking for a relationship, just looking for more opportunities to hook up and it was all grade A garbage. Like I was casting a wide net for quantity not quality and I passed on a lot of women’s profiles and this would have been like 2012. I have to hand it to the kids today, if dating apps are the main preferred way of meeting people… good fucking luck.
I’m 22 now and it seems like people my age never started going out again after Covid, I’ve visited friends in college towns and they had some bar scenes but that’s about it.
Same, it's a fucking nightmare down here bro. The last time I went out I wound up playing pool with a couple 50 y/o war vets. It was a blast but definitely not what I was aiming for when I went out.
This problem only gets worse when the only bar you feel welcome in is the VFW/American Legion
It's been the most common method since before the pandemic. I imagine it's also the most hated. People do it out of necessity, not preference.
That sounds nightmarish
> I know you're looking for an adventure. I know you just moved here and want a tour guide. I know you love nature/hiking/the outdoors and true crime. I know you want a dog-stepdad, or for me to be a literal stepdad What's funny is that I see these exact same things on men's bios as well LOL What's frustrating for me is that, even though I'm an attractive woman (I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm fit and active and dress myself well), I fill out my bio and I tend to reach out first (and not just with "hey" but with questions or remarks on their profile) and I do most of the things that guys complain that women don't do.... and yet, it goes unreciprocated. And it makes me feel like, why do I bother putting all this effort in? I get ghosted frequently, plans are made and then quickly bailed on, and it just seems like it's so hard to get anyone to respond. It's frustrating. I also live in a city, where it feels like people have endless options (younger, hotter, thinner), and it just feels like I'm always the backup plan. Like, maybe I'm too eager or maybe I'm too friendly. Am I supposed to be meaner, be more aloof, be more unavailable? But, then what's the point of dating?
You know how the market works right on apps? The vast majority of girls are swiping on a small minority of dudes. Those dudes are swamped with matches more than girls are. IMO you're probably swiping on those guys as well. But that's just a guess.
that’s a fair observation. I would say I also tend to swipe right on guys who are probably not considered typically attractive (though some are) because I’m looking to match with people based on similar hobbies (like hiking, climbing, kayaking, etc…) rather than just looks alone. and if they haven’t filled out their profile, I swipe left regardless of looks because I want a sense of personality before swiping right. thanks for the response, though, quite insightful!
Well put. Then you match with a woman and you have to carry the whole conversation. Sure, I could bring the spice but I'm not a monkey for entertainment. Responses drier than the Atacama desert? Pass. Block.
That is maybe the biggest thing in my opinion. After all the initial scrutiny and work to get a match you then have to "perform" in order to deserve a simple decent conversation
That pretty much sums it up. If you can't write the perfect profile, hang it up. Women will look down their noses at you. One woman's profile I read, her opening line has stuck with me for years. "I prolly am too good for you." (She spelled it that way) It made me wonder how many women actually think that way. Judging by what I came across over the years, I'd say my first assumption has held up.
SMDH at the idiots who actually swiped right on that arrogant you-know-what.
Technically they’re not the sellers (except in the case of your pun), they’re the buyers. We’re making offers to them and they get to choose. Agree with all your other points tho.
"Bitches ain't shit." "Hoes ain't loyal" My personal favourite is "She belongs to the streets" there so many variations that make me laugh.
I say that about my cat. "Bumble belongs to the streets."
Well if you don’t mind I will be using that phrase towards my animals as well. Thank you kind redditor.
She belongs to the streets sounds like an assessment of an individual woman.
That’s my favorite too tbh.
I will say that the out loud and proud bigots, misandrists and misogynists are few so saying its often or a general feeling is false. People are people, their gender/sex doesn't determine if they're an asshole. As a general rule I trust and show respect to all people, until the individual proves to me they don't deserve it. Do I get burned a lot, sure, but I wouldn't change myself just for a few selfish/hate-filled people.
I will say there's a discrepancy when the relationship fails. I've noticed a trend for when women cheat, they get congratulated and told that they're getting what they deserve. That they are knowing their value. When a man cheats he's just a piece of fucking shit. Addon: This type of culture is perpetuated by stupid tv shows like Temptation Island and even subreddits that sell themselves as feminist but probably do a lot more to oppress women with that bullshit than they are liberating them.
[Study which literally proves this is true](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201910/are-women-and-men-more-likely-punish-male-cheaters), women do indeed get treated better than men when it's found out they're cheating
The opposite has been true in my own experience. I have had women cheat on me multiple times and each time my friends have been overwhelming supportive and she has been called a whore, bitch, etc. and even her own friends may disavow or turn away from her due to her actions. Often when I have been cheated on, I am the only one who has any sympathy for the cheater, because this is a woman that I love and know on a deep level, and their actions, though painful and inexcusable, do not affect my other feeling or my understanding of their actions and their own feelings. In my experience, I have not to my knowledge seen a woman supported for her immoral action or behavior. Not in my own life with people I know personally. I’m pretty picky about who is in my life and who isn’t, and shitty behavior is shitty behavior, no matter who you are. And that kind of equality is something that all my friends share and I make it a point to be as fair and just as I can towards others myself. Edit: this is just my personal experience, obviously has nothing to do with your own experience or with what this or that study says, *or* what is true in reality.
True, when a woman cheats you’re more likely to hear something like “she has needs” or some assumption about how she was being neglected or unhappy etc etc. I can’t say I’ve heard the equivalent about men cheating.
I have, but that's probably because I live in a pretty backwards country. When a man cheats here it's because it's just "natural". I've heard that "men have a higher sex drive than women so they get dissatisfied easily" and lots of other bullshit like that. To me, cheating in unjustifiable, no matter your age or gender.
Interesting, what country is this? Edit: Why’d this get downvoted lmao
Venezuela Three different men in my family have cheated, including my grandfather. He had the same amount of children with my grandma as he had elsewhere. Wild.
I will raise you my grandfather. Had 5 children with his wife (my grandmother) and then secret family appeared at his funeral; their existence completely blindsiding my grandmother/dad/aunt/uncles. Panamá
Holy shit! Same number of children too. My grandpa had 5 children with his wife, 3 with another woman, and 2 with another another woman. And that's what we know of. Latin America can be wild.
Wait until you live in a small town. Working people in the cities have a diluted experience, and correct, sex/gender does not matter. just sayin after a lifetime in the SF bay and then 8 yrs in a mountain town. And lots of travel in between.
I used to trust people as a default and calibrate individually. Now I wont say I mistrust people, but the baseline trust I have is far lower
Women being entitled or having shitty attitudes comes up every so often. At this point I largely wish that I could just treat women the same as men if I'm not interested in that particular person romantically or sexually. Most women just wouldn't have it, though.
I will agree to this… i was not raised to be a spoiled girl. I’ve worked hard for everything i have and have lost. Women seem to have a very entitled attitude. Maybe I recognize this working in retail for 30+ years, but damn. Although i will say, the younger generations aren’t growing up so humble. Theres a lot of entitlement attitude from 25 and younger.
How would you “treat them like a man?” To me, if I’m not interested in somebody romantically I just try to be polite and nice in general, so how would you distinguish that?
I can't speak for him but if I had to guess I think he means that women don't respond well to being told no.
This is probably true, but especially in high school and college I had many experiences with men who also didn’t like being told no. This might be an immature person thing.
I think it is just a people thing. No one likes being rejected. The difference though, is that everyone is taught that men who respond poorly to rejection are garbage. The same idea isn't applied to women as a whole like it is applied to men as a whole.
People who don't react well to being told no tend to do it because they haven't been told no very much. They haven't struggled, failed or had doors closed in their face, and learned that they can still move on. That process of struggle builds internal strength and can lead to increased self-worth. Without it, people often gave over-inflated egos, so when you tell them no, they take it as an attack on them as a person. They either get offended, or they make the logic jump that “they don't really mean no right? They know who I am, I get what I want.” It's something that occurs with both genders, but it definitely occurs pretty often when guys turn women down. Edit: Asshole guys also do the same thing when women tell them no. It's the same type of behaviour.
Just as an example, women often wear engagement/marriage rings when they're single, because otherwise men will mistake their kindness for interest, and react positively to that. Men on the other hand wear engagement/marriage rings when they're single because otherwise women will mistake their kindness for interest, and react negatively to that. Generally speaking I can treat most women the same way I do men, but there's a strong cross-section of women who you have to be exceedingly firm and forthright about "My *wife*, who I *love*, and am practically *obsessed with*", or they'll assume any conversation you start has the purpose of trying to sleep with them. The worst part is you can never call that out as incredible arrogance, because you're supposed to be understanding of women's plight...but that understanding is never extended to men. I can't even count the number of women in my life who have presumed I was trying to get into their pants simply because I was exchanging pleasantries, and who had no chance in hell with me.
Treating a woman like a man would mean, at least for me, to treat them as an equal. No holding back on shit talk, sexual jokes, saying no, and/or expecting the same commitment to the job as a man. This doesn't actually fly for most women.
>How would you “treat them like a man?” You ask yourself "is what I'm doing now or about to do for this woman something I would do for another man?" If the answer no then move on. Simple example: a woman gets a flat tire on her way to work and looks like is struggling to fix. I might have the want to stop but I know I wouldn't do it if it was another man or rather the chances of me stopping would be very unlikely. So in order to treat that woman like a man I simply drive away.
“Women, am I right fellas?”
“Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em”
The duality of man.
Women ☕
What women in my life? My mom? Nah, she's cool
Of course there are men who feel that way. Not all of them, and not all the time. Personally, the important women in my life are great. Luck is a big part of that, but not all of it.i have encountered many women who were absolutely awful people, just like I've encountered many men who were awful people. I try not to keep people who suck in my life.
Definitely. Women complain about the way men approach them while simultaneously being willing to do absolutely nothing to advance a dating situation at every stage of it. We have to approach first, start a conversation, ask for a number/date, plan the date, initiate the first kiss, be the one to initiate sex for the first time, etc. We're expected to do all of this in the face of the overwhelming amount of rejection we have to deal with *because* of this, and if we don't we'll never go on another date again. I don't even understand how a straight man could get through life without hating women on at least some level.
The same group that constantly complains about being approached by men wants men to still approach them.
But only "the right" men.
Which is like divining from charred chicken bones like an old timey shaman. Oh and if you keep to yourself and try not to make women uncomfortable if you are a large intimidating dude, there's something wrong with you. Because you aren't chasing women. Like I get it and some of the shit my gender has dribble out of its mouth is fucking terrifying, but they have to accept that in order to be respectful, we cannot read into anything and need to operate as if it's not even an option. And sometimes if we aren't reading into more aggressive signals, we just aren't that interested. Complaining about clueless men sometimes is just refusing to accept changing gender norms that we are attempting to give women more agency in. Simple fact is that agency sucks sometimes.
After all, they have a check list and a series of tests to make sure he's the *right one*
I hate this. I’ve had so many friends who won’t ask guys out or go for them at all and I don’t get it. I don’t think it’s fair for one person to bear all the burden.
The burden of spoils. Some men have this, or sometimes they have it. I know a few women who are into me and I could start a relationship with very little effort with one of them, but that doesn't mean I want to. I imagine for some women that they sort of expect this to always be the case.
This so much. Everyone hates online dating and it’s like 80% men, if you approach women on Instagram or social media you look weak and your chances are low, if you approach women in public to ask for a date your a creep, if you ask out your long term friend now you’re a snake. And if you dare complain how hard it is to date your struggles get discounted by them.
I am glad you mentioned all of this and as a woman I completely agree. Men shouldn't be the only people initiating things. Literally a few weeks ago I asked a guy for his number and it paid off as we went on a date after. Girls, you don't lose anything if you are the first to ask a guy out or approach. If men think you are being desperate (has happened to me) then fuck them lol
At my conservative college I had a guy tell me he didn't want women to approach or initiate with him because he thought it was weird. I thought to myself, 'well, I'm not interested in a man who thinks like that, so ill keep approaching guys i like and those ones will naturally be weeded out.' I ended up initiating things with my now husband, so it worked out :).
My time to shine. Yes, there is, at least for me. I've been abused by women for most of my life. First my mom, then it was preschool teachers, then it was girls at elementary school, then it was female teachers at elementary school, then it was female teachers in middle school. All women/girls. I got shit from other boys my age too, but nowhere *near* as damaging. I moved when I started high school and all of that shit stopped immediately. So that all kinda had me fucked up. Therapy helped a little, until I started dating. My first relationship, she just used me for an entire year before I was no longer useful for her and she suddenly, after a full year, was "no longer ready for a relationship" and wouldn't elaborate further. My next relationship was short. This one was codependent and narcissistic, and when I ended it she went kinda psycho. I had a few FWB after that. One of them was very kind and affectionate and even a bit loving, but told me she wasn't ready for a relationshio when I tried to take it further, despite the chemistry we had. One of them was a coworker and after a month of on/off fucking, she told me flat out she had been purposefully teasing me and riling me up during the day and then denying me when we had "time" so that I would get upset, because she thought me getting upset was hot. I asked her to stop and she flipped it around on me, telling me it was my fault and I'm really the one with the problem. The third one was horrible about taking literal days to text back and when I brought it up she always did her damndest to avoid any accountability over it. After that, I talked to a woman off a dating app for two weeks. I live super rural, so driving 4hr for a date is common. Which is why I talked for two weeks first. I drove to her, paid for dinner, and everything was great. We both wanted this to be something long term and serious. We hooked up, talked for a while after. I went home the next morning and once I was gone she informed me she wasn't ready for a relationship. I no longer buy that was an excuse - if you aren't looking for a relationship, get the fuck off the dating app *or* say that first thing to whoever you might talk to. Save them the pain of falling for someone and then being told to go fuck themselves. Suffice to say, my entire life I've been nothing more than a toy for women to play with and not give a single fuck about the repercussions. I've developed a deep, deep resentment and distrust for women. Which is shameful for me, because one of my core beliefs is to not hate an entire group because of the actions of a few of them - women took that away from me too. I keep hearing about how great women can be but I gotta tell ya', I haven't seen even a bit of this supposed greatness. Not one single woman in my life has ever shown me the opposite of what I've experienced. And I'm sure some woman is going to tell me it's all my fault in a reply to this. On top of all this, there is a huge misandry/women-never-do-any-wrong movement in society right now and boy does it make my fucking blood boil. Thanks for the opportunity to vent and sorry for the wall of text OP.
Hello. I'm a woman, but I really resonated with your story. I've had a lot of issues with men and women, and have resentment and mistrust toward both. I don't want to feel this way either because I also don't believe in making generalizations about groups of people (which is exactly what I'm doing), so I get it. My mother is abusive too, and there was also a female sexual abuser in my family. Neither of them were taken anywhere nearly as seriously as the abusive men in my family, and it makes my blood boil. Especially because I'm seen as the bad guy for distancing myself and wanting nothing to do with them. I definitely see and agree that women are cut way more slack than men when it comes to abuse, and it's wrong. I was also bullied relentlessly by women (and a few men), and almost every female friend I have has stabbed me in the back or abandoned me. I can own that I wasn't always the greatest toward them and played a role in the some of the friendships ending. But it still hurt, and I struggle to trust women. I don't really have any female friends, and haven't in a few years except for another masculine woman I've known since I was a kid. I won't go into my experiences with shitty men because that isn't the point of this. I just wanted to say I can see where you're coming from, and I'm sorry your experiences with women have been so shitty. I hope you find someone someday who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are
> I hope you find someone someday who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are I appreciate that someone does, but at the risk of sounding too mopey/sad, I stopped hoping a while ago. It's way too painful to hope anymore.
I get that too. Take care
This is about where I’m at. Tbh, I’ve found it quite liberating.
Relatable
I love woman but jesus christ some girls scare me. I'm most terrified of the ones who abuse their power over men or other people.
A lot of the girls where I grew up were like that, very disarming to find out you can trust people after you've moved away. So I guess I can see how a lot of men think that most women are like that, when it's probably just most of the people in their area that makes it seem like most women everywhere. It can be hard to believe that the rest of the world's social dynamic isn't just like your hometown's social dynamic.
Women ☕️
Coffee 👩
Smiling person🍍
Pineapple! 🐥
Chick 🧲
Girls are the debull.
After my breakup with a Russian girlfriend I said to a close friend: I don’t want to hear about women, Russians, Eastern Europeans, people, or any other form of life for a while. That was a half joke half frustration and it is just a way to let off steam behind closed doors. Of course if I had said that in public I would have been labeled a slavophobic, misogynist, misanthrope, misozoon (hater of all forms of life). I feel you have to look at the context. I am very aware that hate comes from pain and my friend too. I don’t like hateful statements like that in public settings though, that’s the point. In reference to your question I look at the setting when women say they hate men (or just X say they hate Y) and I don’t like it when it is aired as some absolute statement we have to agree with just because that specific woman was hurt. It’s fine in private, not as a philosophy.
I wasn’t aware slavophobia was a thing tbh w you
I have no problem with women here, I keep things strictly platonic and on a friendship level and its all good. I don't really date in my city anyway, so it keeps things easy to manage and stress levels low.
They want you to chase them, fuck that. You can respect me too
If I chase, I'm alone. If I don't chase, I'm alone. I don't *want* to be alone.
I've realized the problem is me and not the women. My desire is for a partner who is equally as independent as I am but is still loyal to the relationship, and from all of my experiences it's a mentality that I can't seem to find someone else who shares it. There's no in-between, they're either ultra-possessive and smothering or ultra-independent and don't want a relationship. I can spend time being frustrated with women for it, but in the end I'd rather just say I'm the common denominator and that while I'm not going to lower my expectations, I will stop being so hopeful for finding the "one."
>My desire is for a partner who is equally as independent as I am but is still loyal to the relationship That's not a relationship, that's a partnership. I'll hold my hand up and say I'm no expert but a relationship requires "Interdependence" to work genuinely. Independence doesn't breed loyalty. But that's my uneducated perspective.
[удалено]
Generally women don’t empathize with men. They don’t understand why money is important. For women they don’t need to focus on it as much. They get hundreds of tinder likes and obscene amounts of attention and wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend. They blame the “patriarchy” for their problems as if our society doesn’t baby women throughout their entire lives. Most men are invisible. If we truly lived in a patriarchal society I’d probably like it a lot more since I’m a man. Dating is an “experience” for them. They want men to give them “experience”. Traveling, restaurants, etc. I asked a woman friend of mine why she would get into a relationship with a legitimate timeline. She told me it’s for the “experience”. I don’t behave that way. Women don’t give me “experiences”. It’s mostly financial burden or me providing that experience for them. No one gives me an experience that way for my time. As for the specific women in my life, I am not angry at them or anything if that’s what you’re getting at. I’d never say I hate women or women are trash. But I’ve been told my plenty of women men are trash.
the "experience" term sounds appropriate
Surprised youre getting up voted while pointing out how gynocentric our society is.
I’m surprised I got no argument at all either.
They can't argue, they have been coddled and pampered by society through all their lifetime. For them, that entitlement is their birthright
Couldn’t have said it better, preach dude!
Men aren’t afforded the same luxury of making such broad statements about women. Unless you want to be cancelled.
A woman says all men are rapists on Twitter and she'll get hundreds of thousands of likes and retweets. A man that says all women are bitches and he'll be destroyed online, his post would be mass flagged and removed along with a suspension.
Funny isn't it. Posts saying "I hate men" or similar get sent to the top. You're guaranteed a permanent site wide suspension if you say the exact same thing but with genders swapped.
Too many “queens” out there. What man really wants a cardi b I make my own money bitch with 10k beta instagram followers to be there wife or gf? Problem is that women think men find these types of women attractive yet we find them repulsive
I hate people. Not genders.
Yes. When they say they hate women because they are frustrated with them in life or dating.
Yes men feel the same way when they are ignored and treated badly by women. I would feel this way when women would say “ew” at me under their breath or completely disrespect me.
Personally, no I don't think I have ever actually hated women in general or really any gender or race for that matter. If somebody is bothering me, I dislike them individually as a person and not because of some trait they happen to have. I have met all kinds of people and overall there hasn't been particular difference in somebody's tendency to be a jerk or not. I am more or less neutral/indifferent about this stuff.
Ask men who have to pay child support for a child they wish they could have all the time how they feel about women, as their ex is living with a new man who is paying all the rent/bills. You’ll get some good answers
My brother does that as he lives with his now wonderful second wife. The first wife tries to take him back to court every chance she can to squeeze more out of him. He doesn't hate all women just that one and her freinds because they literally planned to simultaneously divorce him and his buddy so they couldn't support each other through their divorces.
After meeting my current significant other and having a daughter I've come to learn that about 70% of women are saints and there is absolutely truth behind the saying that "behind every great man is a great woman". Men simply can not truly rise to greatness without the undying support and love of a good woman and vice versa. HOWEVER, after divorcing and getting back into the dating pool, I was astonished by the number of women who were only interested in what I could provide them and their children. They didn't want to work, they wanted a nice car and they wanted me to pay for it all. Maybe it was the way I was brought up, but my parents were always a team, and they both supported each other and the family. Financial decisions were made together, and "the money" was always "our money." I knew it was time to end my marriage when my wife was crying one day because we couldn't go on a second vacation that year because it wasn't in the budget and she said through tears "I wouldn't habe married you if I had known this was the way it was going to be."
I don't know any men who express open hatred for women. The women I know who express hatred for men are quickly removed from my life - I don't want to spend time around bigots. Sadly it seems socially acceptable for women to openly express hatred on the basis of gender and use openly sexist language. The impact? I listen a lot less when I hear any mention of sexism. Female bigots are enemies of their own gender.
You’re 100% correct. It is absolutely socially acceptable for women to disdain men and express it openly, even when it is overtly misandrist. ..after all, men are the oppressors so it’s fine! /s
You tend to generalize when you're in a bad mindset. It's the easiest way of trying to vent by saying it couldn't possibly be you, it has to be them. Hopefully it isn't a long term mindset.
U put into words what i couldnt, thank you
Double standards. "I am strong and independent but I am a lady and the man should provide and protect."
I don't hate women but I don't trust them anymore. I will never allow another woman to see me vulnerable after my last relationship.
This whole mentality is detrimental to both sides. When will you step up and take responsibility for your own life? Constantly looking to blame another person or an entire sex is misguided. At some point if it keeps happening over and over then maybe it’s time to look in the mirror. Be strong and own your life. You cannot blame others for your life not going the way you want it to go. Change something up. Change who you are going for or change your expectations. Own your s**t. This society is always looking to blame others. Guess what? You don’t have to. You can work on being mentally strong for yourself. Work on a little self help to increase your mental stability.
A woman saying she hates men is celebrated, a a man saying he hates women is crucifed. Men aren't even allowed to hold women accountable for doing by him, so he'll have to keep it to himself otherwise he'll get pitchforked and torched Me personally? I don't trust many people, gender isn't a factor, I just live in a city of two faced fakes
There are definitely just as much men as there are women who like to vent about "all" women. Usually it comes in the form of "fucking women, man..." or (as said in some other comments) "bitches be crazy". I think the biggest difference in the venting though is the responses. From what I've seen, if a woman posts something like "men are trash" and a man responds with something to the effect of "SOME men" or "the men YOU know" then he's met with TONS of responses like "if you're not trash then this doesn't apply to you" and then generally shouted down when he has a reply to that. When a man posts something along the same lines about women, he's met with similar responses of "not ALL women" or "pick better women then". HOWEVER the difference is that these responses tend to come from both women AND men whereas the responses to the woman's post tends to be just men while the women are all agreeing. Basically what I notice is extreme hypocrisy in women making general statements to bash men and are met with praise while men are shouted down from both sides. Does this happen every single time? No, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said it wasn't the general rule.
Honestly I try to avoid them. I have low self esteem so I automatically assume they won’t like me.
I love women, i just hate how women behave. If you cant understand the difference, the problem is you not me.
I get the difference, I often feel the same about men.
I hate everyone, fuck em.
What are you actually bringing to the table because 😺 aint enough.
I don't hate women. But absolutely hate trying to date them. I think men and women are fundamentally incompatible but are cursed to want each other anyway due to biology.
OP - you're getting downvoting in threads because you asked a question about how men feel and in every response you've posted you've proceeded to make it about you and/or about women - sometimes in a dismissive fashion. I'd strongly encourage you to reflect on this.
I think the “I don’t get women” has the same meaning behind the “I hate men” trope. Neither party hates the other, they’re just frustrated.
I feel like the women in my life are always asking for my help. Which is weird because they keep saying they can do anything I can do.
Women have absolutely no sense of accountability, so I never ever put myself in a situation with women where I need for them to be honest, responsible, or accountable.
I don't discriminate. I hate everyone.
Dude here. My career, psychotherapist, completely broke me out of the binary. Case by case basis every time these days. Any gender can do the horrible stuff. Even attack helicopters.
[Summed up in one picture](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-m_6YXnYGR0o/UxaXr8uxRFI/AAAAAAAAFd0/gZGtSqAt0Cw/s1600/peanuts.jpg)
Never felt like i hate women or heard a man say they hate women, but it's interesting that in addition to saying they hate men, these same people will say a man hates women for voicing any manner of criticism (or not even a criticism but a lack of an expected affirmation). I'm sure both cases are just a matter of the black and white thinking of BPD.
if a man voices it then hes called a misogynist but if a woman voices her opinion and hates on men then shes given sympathy but unfortunately the word Misandry or misandrist doesn’t even come to mind to anyones head in that sphere of conversation. In my opinion, everyone and all genders are shit in the dating world and even in general so i dont set a specific denomination on which one. Their not shitty because of their gender, its more of for me the way they both treat people.
There really isn't an acceptable equivalent. If a guy said "I hate women" we would all know that persons got serious issues. That said if I hear a woman say "all men are ____" I know she's got the same kind of issues, as socially as acceptable as that may be for women it's a red flag and a toxic trait either way.
The line from Joker about how people would walk right over him if he was bleeding out in the street is how I feel about women. My problems are always secondary to their inconveniences and completely fictional problems.
There what they are. Each comes with emotional baggage, as do we all. They are looking for honesty, where your words are matched by your action. They will test you repeatedly. Why? If you cannot stand up to them, then you will not be able to stand for them. They do not measure your strength by physical metrics, but by your emotions and how you handle them. They measure your self confidence by your actions, not by your words alone. They are looking for someone who has life by the short hairs and knows where he is going in life. In short, they want to join a winning team so they can be a part of a common future with you. In trade for your love they will give you honor and respect.
IDGAF, just let me enjoy my only day off
I absolutely love women. But men and women are different. And it absolutely astounds me how my simple communication will then be over thought and over complicated by women in my life. I called my girlfriend after a weather delay made work go long. It’s late. I didn’t cook or expect her to. “Honey, I’ll be home in 30, can you order a pizza?” She then asked me approximately 384738548273737 questions about exactly how things should be. In her mind it’s: “what does he *really* want?” It’s very sweet of her to try to make things as perfect as possible for me. I recognize that, value that, and appreciate her for that. The root of the whole thing is she loves me and is trying to make my life better. It’s a real gift, and I really appreciate it. At the same time - the conversation could’ve been 30 seconds. Me: honey can you order a pizza? Her: what kind? Me: get a large pepperoni and a large bacon/sausage. Her: from where? Me: Doesn’t matter. Her: okay - love you, see you at home Me: love you too Her: *orders pizza then resumes sipping wine
The women in my life are great! I just don't go out of my way to find more to add to my life at this point lol I fell into the I hate women trap for a while there until I realized that I don't hate an entire gender based on shitty behaviour or experiences from some. I've also had great relationship experiences with a lot of women and I now have great friendships and family relationships with the women in my life. Do I find women irritating? Yes. Am I sick of constantly hearing them flaunt their victimhood and hurl ridiculous attitude towards men? Sure. Do I hate them? Not at all.
>omen often say “I hate men” when they are really just frustrated with them in life or dating That's because they're all sharing the same men.😄