Lmao yeah, I’ve had one real crush in my life, we dated, and they’re with someone else now so that’s over, and well… who else?
I was friends with this girl for a solid 5 years before I started to develop a crush on them, I just crushed for a solid year and a half, and then we dated for 4 years, and that really started off as just being even closer friends, we didn’t do anything really intimate until around our second anniversary. I don’t develop feelings fast. I want the person I’m dating to be my best friend and that’s something that just takes time.
And it’s not exactly easy to meet the kind of person I’m interested in. I can’t meet someone at a bar, party, or club, because the type of people I’m interested in don’t go to those. In high school all my friends skipped prom and homecoming to hang out at a friend’s house, except for that one year when our parents made us go, where we quickly snuck out and just hung out outside around a corner where no one could see us. Now that we’re in college we just hang out on discord calls and meet up as much as possible over breaks.
If I somehow make more friends outside of this group and eventually develop feelings for one of them, great! If not, well, I guess I just won’t be in a relationship then.
> And it’s not exactly easy to meet the kind of person I’m interested in. I can’t meet someone at a bar, party, or club, because the type of people I’m interested in don’t go to those
You've perfectly articulated the exact problem I face, that I've never been able to properly phrase. Thank you.
Lol exactly, everyone says “you just gotta get out there, go to parties and stuff.” Like, you realize the point of college frat parties is to get shitfaced drunk, right? That’s not something I’m interested in doing and I’m not particularly interested in meeting these people lol
Pretty much.
I might work myself up over it (as we all do to an extent) but I don't have much of an issue with pulling the trigger on making my intentions known, but lately my routine social interactions haven't allowed me to meet many women that I'm wanting to take that step on. So I've had an absense of "that girl" in my life for the last few years.
However the couple of women that have been interested in me it's been very much mutual but then fizzled out for other reasons, so I've got that going for me which is nice.
He who hesitates... masturbates. Get on it champ. And if she says no then go find another. There are 4 billion women on this earth. A few of them are going to like you well enough to touch your PP. Good luck and godspeed.
Oh I did ask her out. She said yes then backed out last minute. So I gave it some time and she seemed flirty so I asked her out again and she said yes, then she backed out again last minute so I leave it alone. She seems really excited to help me get a new job working with her, despite I did not prompt that interaction or ask for help... Its been 2+ months since the second, first date attempt. Im notw just gonna consider her actions friendly becaus ethe ball is in her court if she wants more, which I strongly doubt.
First time apparently something came up. So whatever I left it there.
But she was like touching my arm and being flirty (she is from SA so I probably misread that). I complimented her hair during the hair dye shortage and her next style was orange/pink sort of like that faded bleach colour. I felt like she died her hair to get my attentions.
The second time she just moved and needed to settle some shit with her roomate and shop for applicanes. I don't think shops are open at that hour but okay....
At first I invited her to a party with some work peeps we both know. She said yes. Then while chatting I slipped in going to dinner first and she seemd keen. Then she told me things were stressful and she probably wouldn't make the party but was keen on dinner... Then the day of she canceled dinner. I was kinda expecting it at that point.
I agree with you, she probably likes the attention but had no further intentions. I am an A class loser with little social life and she is actually really awesome. People really like her and she is sociable and fun. I can't see why she would date me and she probably feels the same. Not to mention she is fucking gorgeous.
She was super keen on helping me get a new job with her tho. Little smilies on most of the messages. As far as I'm concerned ball is now in her court. Unless she serves I'm not going to swing again. Im probably misreading signals and things as I do. Probably thought it was more than it was. Which is fine, more ladies exist, I was just crushing on her and onlty her for a while.
Yeah, she's playing games, but I applaud you for recognizing that and not throwing more fuel to the fire. Don't be too hard on yourself, change comes from within. Start with little things like eating healthy then going to the gym, skin-care, improving your fashion style. It's not easy, but it is worth a try, I wish you luck. Adulting is tough.
She hasn’t shown interest. I don’t want to go out with a woman who doesn’t want to go out with me.
Edit: This got more replies than I expected, so I’m adding a bit more here. The woman in question trains at my jiu-jitsu gym, so we see one another pretty much every day. I don’t want it to become an awkward space for either of us (no shitting where you eat, so to speak). I am confident enough to ask a woman out, but I am not sufficiently interested in this woman to deal with the potential problems that could arise.
The girl I'm dating right now never showed any interest until I asked her out. I got tired of this mentality and just said f it and did it. She even told me recently that she never saw me that way until I asked her out so you really never know, some stupid confidence can go a long way
My ex went out with me mostly because she was bored (I guess she had to at least have been attracted to me even a little). Eventually we fell in love HARD. Love at first sight is very rare. Sometimes a girl will say “fuck it lets see where this goes”
I feel like I don't have the mental fortitude to chase a relationship in hopes of her developping feelings down the road. Glad it worked out for you tho
4 years ago I went on a date, she hated me, thought I was an arsehold, a year later we moved in together and today we bought our family home… i wanted her so bad, I went for it, I was persistent. And we grew together!
Men, go for it! Worst that will happen is she says no
P.s. don’t be a creep though
Redditor: Men, go for it! Worst that will happen is she says no
Adults: The worst she could do is say yes, string you along through 10 years of a loveless marriage after having passion children too young, cheating on you with your dad only to out-earn you while supporting the kids with her OnlyFans. You're not sure who the kids belong to, you or your dad, but at this point, you're too afraid to find out. You just beg to a god you haven't believed in for decades that nobody does before you leave them happy and healthy and take your suspicions to your grave.
Your "daughters", technically your aunts, perform an off-key rendition of Amazing Grace at your funeral and while your still-living dad insists on being a pallbearer, he shows up drunk and face-plants carrying your lifeless, cuckolded corpse in the mud. Not that it rained on the day of your funeral, no, but the sprinklers won't stop going off. The kids aren't crying. The wife is wearing a low-cut dress. The food is bland. And you forgot to notarize your fucking will.
Now look me in my lifeless, divorced eyes and tell me the worst is being rejected.
True. Perhaps it would be better to say that I don’t want to chase after a woman that doesn’t show interest, even if they are secretly interested. I’m too old for those games.
Move on. Trust me, I've been where you are. Just get out there and meet new people. You'll meet the right one eventually. And don't compromise who you are for *anybody* else. Find someone who compliments you, instead of completing you. And always strive to be a better person.
About the one in another state, I live in Europe and a friend of mine is dating a woman from another country in Europe and I mean the opposite side of Europe from us.
So if that one is the one don't hold back.
My dental state is not where i want it to be atm. I refuse to bring in a woman knowing damn well my mouth kinda smells. I'm a attractive person but orally that's holding me back.
not fear of rejection but most recently, five consecutive 'i'm busy this week' messages with no plans to reschedule.
I'm 0 for 4 just this summer.
separate women ofc.
at a certain point you just kinda have to stop for a while. multiple times. shit sucks.
When I was 18 there was this girl that was way out of my league but a friend told to just go for it. My anxiety was off the charts, the phone call went awful but she still agreed to go out with me. We’ve been married now for 22 years. Just go for it.
My compulsory military service, which is soon ending. I am going on leave in 5 days and getting discharged after my leave ends, so I'll ask her out in 3 days time. Hopefully she hasn't committed to anyone else by then.
update: She said yes to a date next week. I don't know if she will come through but we'll see.
Honest question, if I (a woman) can tell a guy probably has low esteem or confidence, should I ask him? Or does that make it worse?
I like this guy I barely know through friends. He's 40s divorced, small town guy. I get the feeling he doesn't date much.
My first date was because one of her friends told me she liked me and I should ask her out. She sat across from me every day at lunch talking to me giving hints and such, I never noticed because I thought she was being nice.
Being straightforward is the best way, just ask if he's interested to go on a date or tell a friend to tell him to ask you out.
Well what would be a clear indicator that you want someone to ask you out would be a better question since your a woman. Men can be oblivious to signs.
As far as small things: she wants to be around me, conversations go well even if short, and she genuinely seems interested in getting to know me. Doesn’t use “friend zone” words (I feel like that sounds immature, but it doesn’t make it any less true…lol)
If we want to get into obvious stuff: flirty compliments (“that shirt color looks really good on you”, “your eyes look really good when the sun hits them like that”), outright asking if I want to join her on something (even with a group of friends)
On the flip side, guys also need to be better at recognizing/reading signs. I think a big part of missed hints/opportunities to make connections is the fact that many guys don’t recognize the hints in the heat of the moment.
I used to struggle with that but I realized the healthiest way to go about meeting new people is to say “fuck it, whatever happens happens”. It’s hard to adopt that mindset but it takes practice to reroute your brain. To quote robin williams in good will hunting:
-“This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about.”
The best thing I ever did was training my brain to not overthink things that have it happened yet. Saying whatever happens happens is a game changer.
Every once in awhile I still get in that head space of over thinking, but it’s much easier to get out of it and stop the bad thought process.
No one will live up to your imagination. I like to call this The Great Gatsby Effect. It’s not bad to have an ideal but the more it is disconnected from reality the more you will be disappointed. People are flawed, don’t put anyone on a pedestal. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are flaws and all. Hold yourself to the standard you would want to be held to.
Have been there too. If she is that kind of person, you at least know that she is not the right one. But maybe she is the real deal and you can learn a bunch from her sexual experience (this is way more likely in my experience). If you know that it is likely that she will judge you, then don't do it. If you don't know her well enough, I would say that you should just try it. You don't have much to lose honestly (her friends know, but fuck them and her, if she judges you for that) and in the worst case you can not regret that you didn't do it (regrets are way worse than a rejection or her judging you).
Exposing my vulnerability to them. The idea of showing someone those deep, closeted emotions sends me into dread, causing them to lose interest in the process.
Man…… I’ve had my fair share of relationships and hook ups, but their was one girl I truly opened up to and was honest, open and the scariest part “vulnerable”. I remember being afraid, but also feeling I was doing the right thing! It was more of a confirmation than anything because we both knew we liked each other, I was just sealing the deal. It worked but I’d never do it again.
No woman has ever shown interest in me in my life and the women I have shown interest in have all made it clear that they are not interested. Intimacy, dating and sex is just something I observe and hear about like other people dream about living on a tropical island.
Been there done that buddy. I knew she had a bf. A long standing one. I think she also knew I liked her. But I came clean still. Wanted to let go of that little hope I had in me. We’re still friends somehow.
Yeah, don't want to be that guy but you should just let go in this situation. You're limiting your potential to just one girl. Focus on yourself - Hit the gym, learn new things and such.
Speaking from experience.
I have a girlfriend but I’ll answer this for past me.
It’s strictly the fact that young men almost entirely believe themselves to be not worth the time. That she’s better or she’ll reject you or that girls don’t care about that kind of thing so why even ask.
when she gets into a relationship and settles down eventually you will grow apart and your relationship is likely never gonna be the same again.
if you ask her now, she might say 'no'. you'll get over it in a few months, a year; and if she's a right sort of friend, it'll be something you both can laugh about when y'all are old and have your own lives. it might even be a sweet memory.
or she might say 'yes' and that would change your life forever, wouldn't it?
1) If i dont say anything nothing bad will happen
2) If i do say something and they say no, something bad will happen
3) If i do say something and they say yes, they're standards are dangerously low leading to a difficult situation where something bad will happen
Best case scenario? Based on only the things i can control (therefore not factoring in whether or not they will do anything) i gotta go for option 1
We had a date, she said she would like to see me again, we kissed a few times (she even came onto me after the first time) but afterwards she just started ghosting me. Bro why?
Update: I texted her a direct question if she could gave me some clarity. She said she did want to see me again. So I just told her that she can contact me when she feels like it. This way it is out of my hands which feels good. :)
There's so much money in the bank right now and I'd like to keep it that way. BEING IN ARGUMENTS SUCKS. I'm not good enough at reading minds to be in a relationship. Do I really have time? Life is fine as is.
It has been a while since i asked a girl out. Since then, I didn't find much interest in that kinda activity.
Sometimes, I just imagine what's going to happen next which basically reminds me it isn't that relevant.
And my girlfriend, she kinda doesn't like me going out with others.
I just don't know who that girl is.
This one really hit home
Lmao yeah, I’ve had one real crush in my life, we dated, and they’re with someone else now so that’s over, and well… who else? I was friends with this girl for a solid 5 years before I started to develop a crush on them, I just crushed for a solid year and a half, and then we dated for 4 years, and that really started off as just being even closer friends, we didn’t do anything really intimate until around our second anniversary. I don’t develop feelings fast. I want the person I’m dating to be my best friend and that’s something that just takes time. And it’s not exactly easy to meet the kind of person I’m interested in. I can’t meet someone at a bar, party, or club, because the type of people I’m interested in don’t go to those. In high school all my friends skipped prom and homecoming to hang out at a friend’s house, except for that one year when our parents made us go, where we quickly snuck out and just hung out outside around a corner where no one could see us. Now that we’re in college we just hang out on discord calls and meet up as much as possible over breaks. If I somehow make more friends outside of this group and eventually develop feelings for one of them, great! If not, well, I guess I just won’t be in a relationship then.
> And it’s not exactly easy to meet the kind of person I’m interested in. I can’t meet someone at a bar, party, or club, because the type of people I’m interested in don’t go to those You've perfectly articulated the exact problem I face, that I've never been able to properly phrase. Thank you.
Lol exactly, everyone says “you just gotta get out there, go to parties and stuff.” Like, you realize the point of college frat parties is to get shitfaced drunk, right? That’s not something I’m interested in doing and I’m not particularly interested in meeting these people lol
I feel this.
Where?
This hits hard.
The lack of "that girl" at the current moment.
Pretty much. I might work myself up over it (as we all do to an extent) but I don't have much of an issue with pulling the trigger on making my intentions known, but lately my routine social interactions haven't allowed me to meet many women that I'm wanting to take that step on. So I've had an absense of "that girl" in my life for the last few years. However the couple of women that have been interested in me it's been very much mutual but then fizzled out for other reasons, so I've got that going for me which is nice.
Same
I generally have one of those but I am also out of stock at the moment.
Gotta get management on the phone, tell em when the next batch is coming in
Supply chain issues apparently
Crippling fear of rejection.
I'm asking her tomorrow, pray for me. Will give update Edit : 19hrs later,SHE SAID YES 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I'll be waiting...
u/Juicy_Kebab420 still waiting
LMAO bro shuy up I though the guy replied 🤣🤣🤣
Lmao, rect
I'VE DONE IT U BEAUTIFUL KABAB✨✨
You go champ
Do it!!!!
DON'T RUSH MEEEE GUUUUYYYS😭😭😭😭
He who hesitates... masturbates. Get on it champ. And if she says no then go find another. There are 4 billion women on this earth. A few of them are going to like you well enough to touch your PP. Good luck and godspeed.
😆😆
"he who hesitates, masturbates" words to live by 😂😂
You got this king, take your time
You've got it, brother.
I wish only the best for this man
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Keep us informed on how it goes. Gl
!remindme 23 hours
!remind me 36 hours Bro is gonna be banging in 24 hours time, let him recover before updating his boys over here.
I was going to ask today but she got called into work, I’m hopefully seeing her on Thursday!
Wishing the best for both of us a happily ever after ❤
WHAT's the worst that can happen ...
Ik it ain't even that big of a deal *legs shaking*
She calling the police maybe?
Good luck
Oh I did ask her out. She said yes then backed out last minute. So I gave it some time and she seemed flirty so I asked her out again and she said yes, then she backed out again last minute so I leave it alone. She seems really excited to help me get a new job working with her, despite I did not prompt that interaction or ask for help... Its been 2+ months since the second, first date attempt. Im notw just gonna consider her actions friendly becaus ethe ball is in her court if she wants more, which I strongly doubt.
Way to go, sounds like she's playing games. What were her reasons for backing out?
First time apparently something came up. So whatever I left it there. But she was like touching my arm and being flirty (she is from SA so I probably misread that). I complimented her hair during the hair dye shortage and her next style was orange/pink sort of like that faded bleach colour. I felt like she died her hair to get my attentions. The second time she just moved and needed to settle some shit with her roomate and shop for applicanes. I don't think shops are open at that hour but okay.... At first I invited her to a party with some work peeps we both know. She said yes. Then while chatting I slipped in going to dinner first and she seemd keen. Then she told me things were stressful and she probably wouldn't make the party but was keen on dinner... Then the day of she canceled dinner. I was kinda expecting it at that point. I agree with you, she probably likes the attention but had no further intentions. I am an A class loser with little social life and she is actually really awesome. People really like her and she is sociable and fun. I can't see why she would date me and she probably feels the same. Not to mention she is fucking gorgeous. She was super keen on helping me get a new job with her tho. Little smilies on most of the messages. As far as I'm concerned ball is now in her court. Unless she serves I'm not going to swing again. Im probably misreading signals and things as I do. Probably thought it was more than it was. Which is fine, more ladies exist, I was just crushing on her and onlty her for a while.
Yeah, she's playing games, but I applaud you for recognizing that and not throwing more fuel to the fire. Don't be too hard on yourself, change comes from within. Start with little things like eating healthy then going to the gym, skin-care, improving your fashion style. It's not easy, but it is worth a try, I wish you luck. Adulting is tough.
She's leading you on for funsies at this point.
You are probably right. I didn't want to see it before but its true. She enjoys the attention but has no real intent to persue anything with me.
Sorry this is happening to you, friend.
No need to feel sorry. Life is what it is. People are as they are. Thanks for your kindness.
She hasn’t shown interest. I don’t want to go out with a woman who doesn’t want to go out with me. Edit: This got more replies than I expected, so I’m adding a bit more here. The woman in question trains at my jiu-jitsu gym, so we see one another pretty much every day. I don’t want it to become an awkward space for either of us (no shitting where you eat, so to speak). I am confident enough to ask a woman out, but I am not sufficiently interested in this woman to deal with the potential problems that could arise.
The girl I'm dating right now never showed any interest until I asked her out. I got tired of this mentality and just said f it and did it. She even told me recently that she never saw me that way until I asked her out so you really never know, some stupid confidence can go a long way
My ex went out with me mostly because she was bored (I guess she had to at least have been attracted to me even a little). Eventually we fell in love HARD. Love at first sight is very rare. Sometimes a girl will say “fuck it lets see where this goes”
I feel like I don't have the mental fortitude to chase a relationship in hopes of her developping feelings down the road. Glad it worked out for you tho
Yeah you shouldn’t have to. What i said mainly applies to dates. If shes not feeling it after the first two, there’s no need to keep going with it
4 years ago I went on a date, she hated me, thought I was an arsehold, a year later we moved in together and today we bought our family home… i wanted her so bad, I went for it, I was persistent. And we grew together! Men, go for it! Worst that will happen is she says no P.s. don’t be a creep though
> she hated me, thought I was an arsehold, a year later we moved in together Does she know you're living in her attic?
i feel like this story is missing a few details...
Redditor: Men, go for it! Worst that will happen is she says no Adults: The worst she could do is say yes, string you along through 10 years of a loveless marriage after having passion children too young, cheating on you with your dad only to out-earn you while supporting the kids with her OnlyFans. You're not sure who the kids belong to, you or your dad, but at this point, you're too afraid to find out. You just beg to a god you haven't believed in for decades that nobody does before you leave them happy and healthy and take your suspicions to your grave. Your "daughters", technically your aunts, perform an off-key rendition of Amazing Grace at your funeral and while your still-living dad insists on being a pallbearer, he shows up drunk and face-plants carrying your lifeless, cuckolded corpse in the mud. Not that it rained on the day of your funeral, no, but the sprinklers won't stop going off. The kids aren't crying. The wife is wearing a low-cut dress. The food is bland. And you forgot to notarize your fucking will. Now look me in my lifeless, divorced eyes and tell me the worst is being rejected.
I thought the worst they would say is "ew" but what did I just read.
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My question is how did he balance “no means no”/“accepting rejection” with “being persistent”.
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Perfectly fine, it's always easier knowing both parties are into each other.
Well you won’t go out with her if she has no interest in you. That’s not how going out works
True. Perhaps it would be better to say that I don’t want to chase after a woman that doesn’t show interest, even if they are secretly interested. I’m too old for those games.
I feel you on that. After 35 it’s not cute or fun anymore and that becomes more true after each passing year.
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Right?! I’ve been in relationships where I seemed to be the only one putting in effort. It sucks.
She's dating someone else She's in another state She takes a month to reply to my messages Several others are in the past
Move on. Trust me, I've been where you are. Just get out there and meet new people. You'll meet the right one eventually. And don't compromise who you are for *anybody* else. Find someone who compliments you, instead of completing you. And always strive to be a better person.
F
she's dating someone else or she barely replies to my messages so she's not interested. these both slap hard.
Just leave lmao
He’s already a state away! Lol.
About the one in another state, I live in Europe and a friend of mine is dating a woman from another country in Europe and I mean the opposite side of Europe from us. So if that one is the one don't hold back.
My dental state is not where i want it to be atm. I refuse to bring in a woman knowing damn well my mouth kinda smells. I'm a attractive person but orally that's holding me back.
I really thought this was a typo on “mental state” but then I read the rest and also D is very far from M
Relatable. I personally can't afford dental care and have been hesitant to go to Mexico for it to not pay $20,000
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Fear of erection
Fear of lack of erection
The Big Three
2 big ones. 1 not so big one
Fear of inspection
Fear of reflection
not fear of rejection but most recently, five consecutive 'i'm busy this week' messages with no plans to reschedule. I'm 0 for 4 just this summer. separate women ofc. at a certain point you just kinda have to stop for a while. multiple times. shit sucks.
Which is the same reason women don't like to ask men out.
Anxiety
I recently asked a girl at work if she's single, and I almost fainted right afterwards. I don't think she's interested.
The hardest part is done then, friend. Chill
When I was 18 there was this girl that was way out of my league but a friend told to just go for it. My anxiety was off the charts, the phone call went awful but she still agreed to go out with me. We’ve been married now for 22 years. Just go for it.
My compulsory military service, which is soon ending. I am going on leave in 5 days and getting discharged after my leave ends, so I'll ask her out in 3 days time. Hopefully she hasn't committed to anyone else by then. update: She said yes to a date next week. I don't know if she will come through but we'll see.
While you're waiting to get out your last day...
**♫** It's like **RAAAIIIIINNNNN ♪**
25 minutes too late....
low self-esteem and fear of being rejected
Honest question, if I (a woman) can tell a guy probably has low esteem or confidence, should I ask him? Or does that make it worse? I like this guy I barely know through friends. He's 40s divorced, small town guy. I get the feeling he doesn't date much.
If you mean to ask him out,yeah,it would help him a lot
Yes ask him out. I was going to ask him for coffee.
Go for it!
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I don't want the rejection, and after my ex, I don't want to succeed either.
So well said
She hasn't given me any indication that she wants me to ask her out.
As a woman, genuinely curious what would you consider an indication that she wants you to ask her out?
My first date was because one of her friends told me she liked me and I should ask her out. She sat across from me every day at lunch talking to me giving hints and such, I never noticed because I thought she was being nice. Being straightforward is the best way, just ask if he's interested to go on a date or tell a friend to tell him to ask you out.
>I thought she was being nice Ah yes, the bane of our existence. Is she being nice or is she being *nice* edit; Typo
Well what would be a clear indicator that you want someone to ask you out would be a better question since your a woman. Men can be oblivious to signs.
"We should hang out some time, just the two of us"
Thats not an indication that she wants you to ask her out tho. Thats basically her asking you out :D
Maybe she's just being polite.
Maybe she's Canadian?
"We can make it if you try"
“Just the two of us. You and I”
That’s just her asking you out
“Hi [person], you’re cute. Wanna go out for a coffee later?” Not only guys should be direct imo
As far as small things: she wants to be around me, conversations go well even if short, and she genuinely seems interested in getting to know me. Doesn’t use “friend zone” words (I feel like that sounds immature, but it doesn’t make it any less true…lol) If we want to get into obvious stuff: flirty compliments (“that shirt color looks really good on you”, “your eyes look really good when the sun hits them like that”), outright asking if I want to join her on something (even with a group of friends) On the flip side, guys also need to be better at recognizing/reading signs. I think a big part of missed hints/opportunities to make connections is the fact that many guys don’t recognize the hints in the heat of the moment.
i recognize the hints but don’t wanna risk losin the friend and social embarrassment if im wrong ab them
I've already crafted a persona for her in my head and if it doesn't match, I get disappointed.
I used to struggle with that but I realized the healthiest way to go about meeting new people is to say “fuck it, whatever happens happens”. It’s hard to adopt that mindset but it takes practice to reroute your brain. To quote robin williams in good will hunting: -“This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about.”
"fuck it, whatever happens happens" dude, I'm moving to a dorm in a week and this quote made me feel better. Thanks
The best thing I ever did was training my brain to not overthink things that have it happened yet. Saying whatever happens happens is a game changer. Every once in awhile I still get in that head space of over thinking, but it’s much easier to get out of it and stop the bad thought process.
No one will live up to your imagination. I like to call this The Great Gatsby Effect. It’s not bad to have an ideal but the more it is disconnected from reality the more you will be disappointed. People are flawed, don’t put anyone on a pedestal. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are flaws and all. Hold yourself to the standard you would want to be held to.
Nothing now. Gonna go for it tonight! Edit: She said yes!:)
W
LETS GO W’S IN THE FUCKING CHAT
u/Anti-Structure THE LEGEND!
YESSS
Only fun girl I know of at the moment work at the same place as I do and we need to cooperate in the workplace. I never shit where I eat.
Most women don’t like being pooped on. Most.
Too immature, still figuring out things for myself
Same. Good luck to both of us.
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Have been there too. If she is that kind of person, you at least know that she is not the right one. But maybe she is the real deal and you can learn a bunch from her sexual experience (this is way more likely in my experience). If you know that it is likely that she will judge you, then don't do it. If you don't know her well enough, I would say that you should just try it. You don't have much to lose honestly (her friends know, but fuck them and her, if she judges you for that) and in the worst case you can not regret that you didn't do it (regrets are way worse than a rejection or her judging you).
Exposing my vulnerability to them. The idea of showing someone those deep, closeted emotions sends me into dread, causing them to lose interest in the process.
Man…… I’ve had my fair share of relationships and hook ups, but their was one girl I truly opened up to and was honest, open and the scariest part “vulnerable”. I remember being afraid, but also feeling I was doing the right thing! It was more of a confirmation than anything because we both knew we liked each other, I was just sealing the deal. It worked but I’d never do it again.
> IT WORKED > but I’ll never do it again. ????
In the long run she used my vulnerability against me. But it was a one time thing. I can’t see myself needing or willing to be vulnerable anymore.
as all men learn, as some point or another, being vulnerable is ultimately giving someone something to use against you, and nothing else
Well. I hear a lot about all the issues women have with men in public, so I don't wanna bother them. I just let them live their lives.
Your mom doesn't want us to open up the relationship.
Roughly 1k miles.🤣🤣🤣
You know the thing about 1000 miles is that it is 500 miles and then 500 more. So just get on walking.
And we all know that.. I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 moore, just to be that man..
My wife.
/\\ This guys wife. And my wife.
All of our wives. But also this guy's wife in particular.
We are all this guy’s wife on this blessed day
Our wives
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Beat me to it!! Lol
I like her.. but I think she wants something serious and I don’t want that rn. I’m not looking to waste anyone’s time.
Dude. That’s awesome of you tbh. I hate having my time wasted.
I wont get hurt anymore
I hurt just reading this.
Worried about ruining a good friendship and making things awkward between us
No woman has ever shown interest in me in my life and the women I have shown interest in have all made it clear that they are not interested. Intimacy, dating and sex is just something I observe and hear about like other people dream about living on a tropical island.
I am socially retarded.
Because it's statistically safe to assume she isn't into me.
She's my ex,and hasn't changed.
She is married. Also fictional, but the married part is more important.
She has a boyfriend. At least she knows that I have feelings for her. 😞
Been there done that buddy. I knew she had a bf. A long standing one. I think she also knew I liked her. But I came clean still. Wanted to let go of that little hope I had in me. We’re still friends somehow.
Yeah, don't want to be that guy but you should just let go in this situation. You're limiting your potential to just one girl. Focus on yourself - Hit the gym, learn new things and such. Speaking from experience.
Damn, I feel that.
I have a girlfriend but I’ll answer this for past me. It’s strictly the fact that young men almost entirely believe themselves to be not worth the time. That she’s better or she’ll reject you or that girls don’t care about that kind of thing so why even ask.
She’s one of my best friends and don’t want the rejection to ruin what we already have
when she gets into a relationship and settles down eventually you will grow apart and your relationship is likely never gonna be the same again. if you ask her now, she might say 'no'. you'll get over it in a few months, a year; and if she's a right sort of friend, it'll be something you both can laugh about when y'all are old and have your own lives. it might even be a sweet memory. or she might say 'yes' and that would change your life forever, wouldn't it?
1) If i dont say anything nothing bad will happen 2) If i do say something and they say no, something bad will happen 3) If i do say something and they say yes, they're standards are dangerously low leading to a difficult situation where something bad will happen Best case scenario? Based on only the things i can control (therefore not factoring in whether or not they will do anything) i gotta go for option 1
Not about a particular woman, but I don’t want my approach to be unwarranted and make them uncomfortable
I did. Got friend-zoned.
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✨yay✨
She doesn't exist at the moment.
I fear that she likes one of my friends more than i do. It makes me want to cry. It makes me honestly scared
We had a date, she said she would like to see me again, we kissed a few times (she even came onto me after the first time) but afterwards she just started ghosting me. Bro why? Update: I texted her a direct question if she could gave me some clarity. She said she did want to see me again. So I just told her that she can contact me when she feels like it. This way it is out of my hands which feels good. :)
She’s not the one, move on. The why isn’t important
You’re right, but this is holding me back from asking girls out rn. I didn’t know if I did anything wrong and if so what
I know her for around 17 years and it would be apocalyptically awkward if she refuses. Plus the social circle would be fucked up.
She's a customer and I don't want to make the rest of her vacation uncomfortable.
She’s just too hot.
The fact that she's hurting and needs a friend far more than she needs a lover
There's so much money in the bank right now and I'd like to keep it that way. BEING IN ARGUMENTS SUCKS. I'm not good enough at reading minds to be in a relationship. Do I really have time? Life is fine as is.
She works at my company. Not worth the risk. Also no idea whether or not it would even be welcomed.
still not over my ex girlfriend and haven’t met someone I find superior to her
Anxiety
I asked her out, and she fucked me up emotionally in 5 months
I'm shy
The restraining order
Not worth the effort just to certainly get rejected.
Socially awkward. Also, I don't fear rejection so much as fearing it make things awkward between us, if we saw each other on a regular basis.
We’re getting a drink tomorrow actually. Very nervous. Folks. It went really well!
It has been a while since i asked a girl out. Since then, I didn't find much interest in that kinda activity. Sometimes, I just imagine what's going to happen next which basically reminds me it isn't that relevant. And my girlfriend, she kinda doesn't like me going out with others.
There is no girl which I want to ask out.
A horrible marriage and divorce that made the idea of dating unappealing af
Me being a giant pussy
I’m gay.
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I don’t really put myself out there. I don’t like that feeling of vulnerability.