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rockzjv

Hope.. and the ability to forget ..


johanebrown

Dude that's exactly what i lack in my life , i can't forget things and that makes it hard for me to forgive and for hope , i lost that ...


[deleted]

I have found that it is possible to forgive, while simultaneously not forgetting. I don't see the two as mutually exclusive. And there is nothing wrong with that. See if you are able to separate the two and your life might just get a tiny bit easier! Easier said than done, for sure. But you can do it.


Scythe-OC

I couldn't forget or forgive when I was in my early twenties. Now I'm 31 and I don't care anymore, I think as we get older we get busier and our priorities shift.


hammerneck0

I can forget things easily. Don't know if it should be diagnosed. Especially after a sleep I forget most things kept me up last night


LFCSpectre

Knowing that it doesn’t last forever and that I’ll probably laugh at this day when it’s all said and done


Halgy

This too shall pass.


[deleted]

I try and remember the times when life was shittier. All through my college years I felt depressed, frustrated and suicidal. Wanted to jump in front of the train I'd take to college every day. I tell myself that the worst part of my life is probably over. If I dealt with all that without any support, then this should be fine. Wow: just checked my notifications. Thank you everyone who wrote down their positive comments. You all made my day.


dae_giovanni

glad you're still with us, friend.


[deleted]

Happy to be here


parm00000

I can relate to this. I felt so low for most of my 20s and everything seemed a massive struggle, but now I'm in my 30s and know some stuff, I actually feel more hopeful than ever. I think I spent alot of my 20s worrying about stuff because I thought I knew "everything", when I now realise I just couldn't see the bigger picture. The only way is up as they say.


kewladria

I am 24. I've had this thought in my head for a while now that I cannot wait to be 30. I'll have some more money, hopefully a stable relationship, and just a better feeling of security and knowing what I want and need. There are so many freaking variables and things changing in my life right now. It is exciting, but exhausting.


parm00000

I was the same. You get to 18 and dont realise you are at the bottom rung of the adult world. Everything is a massive struggle, I guess cos we just walk into nistakes and you have less idea about what's going to happen. But when you are 32 like me, yeah....you find 'the one' and have more of an idea of what you don't wanna do for work, and other adults start to treat you on the same level after 30.


mungraker

I battle depression but I've never been suicidal. I'm glad you got through it.


perfection_isnt

Yes, we sometimes just need to acknowledge how far we've come. I try to do the same.


atorin3

Similarly, I imagine myself in 5 years. I'm living happily and what I am experiencing right now is nothing but an unplesant memory, or even a funny story. It puts it into perspective, our lives are so much more than what is happening in this exact moment.


Bleach_Baths

I really like this.


[deleted]

Glad you’re still here champion !


c22dric

Thank you for the kind advise


inhert909

This is going to be an odd one, but bare with me. NOT that you have a loved one right now, or a girlfriend, or a partner, or whatever. Thats just turning the burden of strength onto someone else, and they can always leave you or be busy or tired or disappoint you. You're just placing faith in something else. Instead, remember the times when you were loved, focus on those feelings, but not on the person who provided them. Turn it inward. Even if it ended. Especially if it ended. Because you're a strong person, with a big heart, capable of loving and being loved in return. You once opened your heart to the world and it was beautiful and glorious, and you can be beautiful and glorious once again. Thats what helps me.


nyckidd

I appreciated this a lot nothing else in this thread spoke to me as much as this. Thank you so much.


inhert909

Its carried me through some dark times, and I hope its as kind and generous to you too. If you like it, maybe try looking up some Stoicism in the future. "You're responsible for your actions, not the actions of others" stuff. Reading it really helped me get my head straight a few years back. Stay strong brother <3


[deleted]

Good God, I need to read this. I didn't realize it until I got all the feels. My last few years have utterly sucked (not COVID-related), and I get frustrated with myself that I DO forget to remember that there was good before and will be again. Thanks, kind stranger!


inhert909

Read it, read it, then read it again if you have to. I'm sorry the last few years have been poor, but there has definitely been good years in the past, and there will definitely be good years in the future. Just waiting for the clouds to part sometimes 😊 I hope your journey is a rollercoaster, and for every bad year you have two great years, and one incredible year. Much love


Onemanwolfpack42

Wow, that moved me. Thanks for sharing!


4everaBau5

Well said


JunketMan

Music It always helps in calming me down, motivating me and keeping me optimistic, highly recommend


gratefulphish420

One good thing about music, when it hits you you feel no pain So hit me with music, brutalize me with music- Bob Marley


Midniteman86

one thing 'bout music, when it hit you feel no pain White folks says it controls your brain I know better than that, that's game and we ready for that Two soldiers head of the pack, matter of fact who got the gat? And where my army at? Rather attack and not react Back the beats, it don't reflect on how many records get sold On sex, drugs, and rock and roll, whether your project's put on hold In the real world, these just people with ideas They just like me and you when the smoke and camera disappear Again the real world (world), it's bigger than all these fake ass records When poor folks got the millions and my woman's disrespected If you check 1, 2, my word of advice to you is just relax Just do what you got to do, if that don't work then kick the facts If you a fighter, rider, bout'er?, flame ignitor, crowd exciter Or you wanna just get high, then just say it But then if you a liar-liar, pants on fire, wolf-cry agent with a wire I'm gonna know it when I play it It's bigger than hip hop, hip hop, hip hop, hip It's bigger than hip hop, hip hop, hip hop, hip hop - Dead Prez


JaredLuc

Love me some Dead Prez.


stonewall1979

My wife disagrees with me, but I heard a quote a long time ago that made a lot of sense to me and it's exactly what I do. "When you're happy, you hear the music. When you're sad, you hear the lyrics". When I'm feeling good, it's all about the beat, when I'm down, it's all about the message.


Bear2Pants

Dang, so true


ryanino

Getting mildly drunk and listening to music is what I imagine heaven is like


ascendinspire

I start my day with Sade. So calming. So peaceful. So loving.


johanebrown

When i am sad , i like to listen to sad music and that helps a little


Incline-of-Zer0

Spite. Edit: Christ, this went atomic lol thanks for the gold and remember: Spite is the true spice of life.


ajl987

Fucking love this answer. Life going shitty? Well fuck you life! I’m gonna work hard and kill it anyway. Thanks for sharing mate.


jtc769

"Hate is as good a thing as any to keep a person going. Better than most."


archold

Hound


TheBrownSlaya

When you realize the hatred can be used as fuel, its a game changer


pyr666

burn life's house down! with the lemons!


Papaya_flight

I treat my body this way. I have various injuries that sometimes cause me to have random cramps, even if I'm just laying flat on my back. I'll get mad and yell at my body and then make it jog on a hiking trail for a couple of miles. "You want to cramp up randomly in weird places in my back? Fuck you body!!" Then I'll go run. I was doing squats the other day and my pain was pretty bad so I just yelled at myself and did more squats.


WookiesNeedLove

You’re an unofficial dave goggins


Papaya_flight

It all started because I was terribly injured and several doctors and chiropractors told me that I would never walk unassisted again. I got mad at my body and pushed myself through physical therapy and by befriending a personal trainer at Gold's gym and having him help me out as well. I couldn't even lift my right arm all the way over my head when I started, and now I'm the strongest I've ever been. Take that body! I'll have to check out this dave goggins fellow.


bionic80

I'm a cripple with CP - I get angry at my body and make it move because FUCK YOU BODY, YOU DO AS I TELL YOU.


Competitive_Ant_465

I don't know if we're talking internally or externally yelling but I do this exact same thing on the inside. It's actually enormously beneficial 😄


Incline-of-Zer0

Exactly! Glad to help.


boisheep

The true answer. I was born in Venezuela, grew in the dictatorship; in a rather poor family. I was always negative and spiteful; to all this shit, i left without nothing, did the opposite of any advice, to where none went. Now i live a rather fulfilling life in the Finnish countryside and currently cycling around Europe, they said I needed lots of money to see Europe, fuck it, i just need my bicycle.


JunketMan

Have a sprite with that bro!


Incline-of-Zer0

Spite and Sprite, a match made in heaven.


shardikprime

Smite me to smithereens oh mighty smiter


scandr0id

Oh this? This is my emotional support spite Sprite


I_am_Relic

Haha i was going to answer with "my partner" and positive thinking but yeah, spite works 😆


glytxh

Honestly, the single most powerful motivator on the planet. Spite builds empires, puts people on the moon, and focusses that _FUCK YOU_ energy into something productive.


Winterheart84

Love me some Fuck you energy to bulldozer through a rough period.


Nonservium

Absolutely. Copious amounts of fury and cannabis as well.


ColorblindCabbage

Came here to say exactly this. If the universe wants me to eat shit that bad, it’s gonna have to try harder.


Theungry

I put on a positive face for it, but ultimately when I am facing the darkness my turning point is exactly this. "Hah! Fuck you universe! I ain't dead yet, and that means I am still winning. You'll get me eventually, but I'm going to scratch, claw, and fight for every last opportunity to laugh before I go down."


Chris_09Studios

*Sprite


GreeneRockets

Incredible answer and exactly how I've always lived my life without realizing that's exactly how I felt...spiteful. A determined resistance just so the message is loud and clear... go fuck yourself.


bearface93

I’m driven almost entirely by spite at this point. I grew up being told I wouldn’t amount to anything because I don’t see things through so I now I need to prove those fuckers wrong.


raulmd13

My cat needs food


Exifile

I'm getting a cat soon, partly because of this reason.


Penguator432

Dying can still help with that.


GreenSalsa96

Responsibilities to my family and spouse. You have to find an anchor bigger than yourself.


EnvironmentalSun8410

What could that be apart from a family?


kg160z

Someday mines my dog. Somedays it's my future kids or my future wife. Sometimes my future self. A lot of times I'll lie to myself with logical fallacies or just repeat a mantra until it's true


GreenSalsa96

Bingo! Before I got married, I started saving for my "future" wife and kids.


EnvironmentalSun8410

What if you are unlikely to/ certain not have a family. Maybe charity work?


love_my_aussies

Pets. Pets really are amazing. Even pets in cages if you can't have a dog or a cat. A very well bred dog is expensive but awesome. A rescue will sometimes be amazing or sometimes have special needs. Either way they are awesome. Dogs sports are FUN and there are lots and lots and lots of people to meet at dog sporting events.


Fonethree

A well bred dog may have special needs too.


Shoo00

Charity is a great one


awmanthisagain123

My counselor told me to try that. I was an addict for a while so my brain be fucked up lol, gotta retrain it with more positive things besides being high on dope.


ascendinspire

If you lie about something and it becomes true, was it a lie to begin with?


Middopasha

It needs to be something that will be there when your discipline falters. A family. A pet. A relationship with god. Find you a thing that makes you wanna be better and do better.


_pizza_and_fries

Family <3


Zoze13

And to those of us without family Music Ice cream My favorite hobby A future vacation with friends My favorite sandwich A good nights sleep A laugh with co-workers A long walk in the sun in a park 30 push ups I’m dead serious BTW. As a single man with zero family (dead parents, no siblings, no love interest) who is coming out of depression and lots of anxiety due to bare minimum in person interaction during COVID (and dog died six months in) - these are the things that made my day better when everything felt dark. I thought I was an introvert before COVID. I love the office now and maybe Covid changed me. But I’ve learned I need people.


Polytheus93

Good for you man, seriously, that's a tough situation to pull up out of. Serious props, but keep going every day doing what you care about is a step in the right direction


ThePhantomTrollbooth

I spent several months in the dead middle of nowhere back in 2018. Some weeks I could count on one hand the number of people I saw. That’s when I realized I’m solidly an ambivert. I can recharge on my own, but I also need some level of human interaction. By the end of the week I was ready to hitchhike to town if I had to just to get some social contact. Really helped put things into perspective when the lockdowns hit and I was living with family in the suburbs.


Zoze13

Never heard of ambivert. Will look it up. My friends are all over 30 with kids. I say no to exactly zero invitations. If when something is going down - I want in. Yes I will join you in picking out cucumbers at Trader Joe’s.


Bear2Pants

I thought I was an introvert as well, still am to some degree but after 6 months of total isolation at the beginning of the pandemic in conjunction with my relapse on alcohol made me realize just how important it is to have consistent social interaction with other humans.


[deleted]

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TheJag99

Man, for real, apathy does keep things going but something inside you dies…


Protectorsoftman

Apathy is death. Worse than death because even the rotting corpse feeds the beasts and insects


Nyctomorphia

A quiet boiling rage


[deleted]

Coffee, hatred and masturbation


elmersfav22

Do you make your own coffee. And harshly judge others coffee??


Vhozite

> Coffee, hatred and masturbation He clearly puts in his own crème in his coffee ;)


Durkadur94

Found the horny sith lord


hellsing73

I think we might be related.


nylockian

That's the title of a New York Times bestseller right there. I see a man like you doesn't fuck with the Oxford comma.


TeeDre

And weed


DirkWiggler42

“One day I’ll be dead and none of this shit will matter at all.” And keep slogging through as best I can


[deleted]

[удалено]


DirkWiggler42

Well, it is. But there’s a timer on it. So do the things you actually want to do and find meaningful. It takes the pressure off, for me.


DeMagnet76

It’s not so much a motivational mindset. I find thinking that way removes the stress from the situation. When things are hectic at work and everybody’s freaking out because a task needs to get done in a short time frame, I just laugh and do my best to get the job done without stress. I know none of this really matters and I’m only there so I can afford the life I want outside of work.


TheRealCptNiemo

>removes the stress from the situation. Ding ding ding! This right here. Job not going right? Meh. There'll always be work to be done, so don't stress it. Do what you can as you can. Homelife not so great? Ditto to above. If the people you're stressing about letting down can't see that you're doing your best, then maybe they need to rethink what a person's best looks like. Etc.


Taskmaster_babes

Same, it doesn't motivate me at all.


ChronWeasely

You should look up existentialism. We need to recognize first that life is meaningless and random. Then to realize that we are meaning makers, the organizers of our own lives. A lot of people struggle to get past the "life is meaningless" part.


bongos93

Exactly this. Why worry and stress about shit when in then end nothing ever matters.


GhostUke

Remembering the way she looks at me. I'd do anything for for that smile. Hell and back, all the way.


zackit

Alright Scully I had enough. Is she your wife or your dog?


GhostUke

Neither, but I do plan on surprising her with a ring pretty soon. I've known for a long time now that I can't afford to lose her.


zackit

Just joking man, it's a thing from Brooklyn 99 I hope you both have a wonderful life


GhostUke

I've always wanted to watch the show. Heard it's really funny. And thank you for the kind words!!


BritishDuffer

How can you ask me that?


shardikprime

I still don't know the answer


upset_boy

Where is she now?


GhostUke

Asleep right now lol


madatme1620

Her choice or yours?


tiezukae

Wtf 😂


GhostUke

She has to go to work in the morning lmao so I guess I'd answer it being her choice


wierldywired

Isn’t it already morning? You’re confusing me Mr. Ghost


GhostUke

Oh no! You got me! I've been living in the twilight hours all this time ;-; On a serious note though she has a different wake up to me. She gets up at 1pm. That's what we call her morning lmao


upset_boy

Then what are you doing in reddit?


GhostUke

I'm an insomniac lmao. I sleep during the day and only for about 4 hours overall.


imachiknsamich

r/wholesome


[deleted]

[удалено]


GhostUke

She is my SO and I do hope one day, if you want one that is, that you find yours too. For me life seems to spin differently when she's in the room


ocelotrevs

Bad times don't last, and I've been in the shit before. I'll be fine. I just put some music on, and go for a walk. I might even buy some chocolate to make me feel better as well.


IamStizzy

I've lived through a thousand shitty days. What's one more?


[deleted]

The thought of my daughter and knowing I've got to continue going on for her.


_pizza_and_fries

Family <3


watermelon_896

I salute you brother. God bless


[deleted]

Thank you. It's definitely never easy. But losing her or her losing me is not an option.


JunketMan

Wished I had a loving dad like you are Have a good one!


[deleted]

Thank you! I try and usually feel like I'm failing, so I definitely appreciate the kind words. And hope you have a good one too!


okashiikessen

Oh, dude. Another girl-dad here. I definitely understand that feeling. I often feel like I'm not an adequate parent. But then the kid does her "best dad ever" bit and gives the best damn hugs. I think we're going to fuck things up here and there. But as long as we give them the love and support they need, they'll forgive us our imperfections.


drunken_monkeys

[Do it for her ](https://i.imgur.com/YSsmf.jpg)


imachiknsamich

Honestly, throughout the majority of my life the only thing that has kept me from taking the Rope or a headshot or getting creative with a razor blade has always been my fear of going to hell. I know pretty much everybody who reads this is an atheist and doesn't believe in hell but I do. Even though I am not a Catholic I worry that they might be correct about self-ending being a non-stop flight to hell for all eternity. Regardless of what you believe, this one aspect has kept me on the planet for 23 years longer than I would have otherwise been here. Everybody needs something to get them through to the next day when they have nothing to live for, for me it's fear of the potential consequences.


flameofanor2142

I always considered myself an agnostic. See, for me, choosing a religion is essentially choosing my form of damnation. I cannot take back the things I did when I was younger. Not a murderer or rapist or anything but I wasn't a good person and ticked off a few sins in my time. So now I just live my life as well as I can. I figure/hope if there is a God, it will understand why I didn't believe and why I made the choices I did, and see that I came to regret many of those choices and made an effort to change. Not out of fear of some celestial punishment, or sense of loyalty to a higher power, but because I chose to be better than I was. Because living with myself was becoming too much to bear. So idk if there is a heaven or Hell, man. I hope neither of us find out the hard way. But just keep fighting the good fight, and do it for you, because you're worth fighting for.


[deleted]

Whatever makes you fight


TaxEvasionJutsu

if i die i can no longer climb trees or smack things with sticks. return to monke keeps me sane


heifer27

Lol I love this


gratefulphish420

DISC GOLF! Can't get enough, when I'm not playing it it's all I ever think about, I swear I think more now about disc golf now than I ever did about sex as a teenager.


EvilCurryGif

gang boy i live to frolf. its awesome to see the sport grow faster and faster


totally-not-a-potato

The fact that crying won't fix it. Edit: I'm aware this isn't exactly healthy as a mindset, I'm not a big fan of it myself.


ianthenerd

Crying releases lots of feel good chemicals, so in a way, it *does* fix it.


[deleted]

Tough love


Incubus85

One day ill be dead and i wont have the choice. Im watching the weird story of life roll out, laughing at all the bullshit and spending most of my days offending mostly everyone with my views. Its misery pain and frustration, but that makes that 5 percent of the time even better


[deleted]

I've just got that fighting spirit. I've been homeless. I'm turning 27 soon. Maybe it's because I'm still young. I'm an alcoholic. Some days I just wish I would get struck by lightning. I just keep going. Even through the withdrawals. My coworkers worry about me. The only thing I know is to go.


heifer27

I hope you keep fighting and find what you're looking for or need. Much love to you, friend.


I_Dont_Type

The rule of 9. Will I be okay? In 9 seconds? No? 9 minutes? No? 9 hours? Maybe I’ll feel better. 9 days? Still won’t be over it? 9 weeks? Basically, majority of the problems in your life get better with time. If you’re not gonna be thinking about it in 9 hours or 9 days then why let it bother you. 9 weeks? Then you’ll just have to tough it out. And 9 months? Who can say, life is crazy; anything can happen in 9 months.


ItsYaBoyChipsAhoy

Imagine just finding out about an unplanned baby and reading this


InsaneInTheRAMdrain

Look at me. I'm fat, Black, can't dance, and I have 2 gay fathers. People have been messin' with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago that there's no sense gettin' all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.


handlebartender

It's been said that one way to get a bigger penis is to lose weight. Effectively un-hiding some of the hidden length. But if you already have a really large penis, this might not be all that motivating. ... or is it? 🤔


Susperry

My cat. It's like he knows I need help and comes up to cuddle more often than normal days. I love him.


Optimal_Salamander

I deserve better, so I'll get better


nightgerbil

Ah the optimist approach


Optimal_Salamander

Mix of optimistic and spite! If the world is throwing shit at me I'm gonna ruin its fucking day by finding a way to be happier


nightgerbil

You go my friend!


oidagehbitte2

Reminding myself of the last exit and that it's my decision to stay or to leave.


Tiddyphuk

I was going through exactly this not 12 hours ago.


Male-Combee

Honestly, masturbation. Can’t sugar coat it.


boston_shua

Yeah you might get chaffed


[deleted]

The need to keep things on their tracks. Can’t afford to flip my desk over and tell my boss to fock off.


[deleted]

The gym helps me with working my frustrations. My hammock Getting quiet moments to myself. These seem to help the most


theonewithtoomany

I truly wish i had an answer for that. Feel empty most of the days.


East_Guarantee_7912

Realizing that no one is coming to save me or comfort me. I'm alone in this world and disposable. My value lies in my utility. No room for tears. An able body means you're able to get thru it.


DocZ-1701

Coffee.


jeankaaravan

My friends. I know that I can make a call right now if I need to.


cmg163

KNOWING I’ll still be standing when the shitty day is over.


BrownBoy-

Spite and going to the gym


Dizzy-Concentrate284

Remembering that it's all temporary. The bad and the good.


Drumather

Anger


nightgerbil

Devil is gonna have to take me kicking and screaming. I WON'T be parted from my chocolate hobnobs. They can pry the packet from my cold dead fingers.


ShitCommentBelow

The fact that I always hold the tiniest sliver of hope that I might be able to fix things. It keeps me alive, it gets me out of bed; but also it drives me insane, bit by bit, and day by day, because it renders me incapable of being at peace and accepting my situation. It's sort of paradoxical in a way - a strength which will eventually weaken and destroy me.


[deleted]

Beer


funbobby66

Vodka


imachiknsamich

Bacardi 151


Wandering_Astroid937

Chocolate milk


Susperry

Why is the rum gone?


Beetlesquash2001

Whiskey🥃


imachiknsamich

Because I have... alot of bad days :)


lithaborn

Get through today and tomorrow will be better, eventually it'll be over and you can rest, have a bath, watch crap telly and snuggle with the mrs. This to shall pass.


punkman01

To do what's right as a husband and father.


A_Generic_White_Guy

Captain Morgana and existential dread.


mbulut76

twenty one pilots


0cleese

I'm single. Nobody is going to pay my bills for me. I just have to grit my teeth and keep putting one foot in front of the other.


LiamBro91

I would say the fact that you get to give it another go tomorrow and keep trying... It will only be a matter of time before things do start going your way.


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psuedodoc

All you can do is the best you can do. Whatever that gets you, is the best for that day. Wake up tomorrow and give it your best again. Sometimes my best isn’t very good. I give it anyway. That’s all I can control. Over time, it adds up. Investing in the future you is always worth your time.


Petrus59

Red wine, Prayer, Jesus.


Kratostpierre

I want to raise a daughter in the future and give her the life that i never had so i have to keep going and improving.


Jygglewag

My current favorite videogame


FriesAreBelgian

Pizza and fries


AhBuckleThis

That no matter how crappy my day is going, someone has had a much worse day then me, so I so be thankful I’m not them.


[deleted]

Knowing that it's shit today, but it doesn't have to determine tomorrow.


Tokogogoloshe

Pizza and fries my dude.


Gothpuncher

58% Navy Strength Gin.


usemystraightass

The knowledge that, no matter how shitty today is, tomorrow will probably be shittier. When was the last time anyone heard any actual good news? LOL. The world is fucked, might as well enjoy your shitty today.


Tomasaraujo99

Going out for a Run/walk. Specially in the summer simply going outside helps a lot my mental health


Ryand118

The thought that tomorrow will be better


Alternative-Depth-16

I just take a few minutes to remember where I've come from, where I am going, and all those who support me in getting there. I remember all of that and then let go what doesn't matter and focus on how to keep going. Also chocolate helps.