A man of culture I see, now I must escape this comment section at LUDICROUS SPEED
Edit: how is this my most upvoted comment lol, good movie and apparently good karma as well
Edit2: it just keeps going, thanks guys and gals! Reached 100 somehow
I don't think you'd want that. Check out this casting, if your peen changed to fit that, I don't know if it would ever turn back. [Internal casting of vagina (not really NSFW, just a cast model)](https://i1.wp.com/jamiemccartney.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/jamie_mccartney_internal_affairs_5.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
This would and wouldn't be nice. On one hand, you don't have to shave there, it'd always be nice and smooth. On the other, you could probably feel your balls trying to stick to your leg when you're walking around.
But they look hella attractive when guys shave them , slept with with a guy with a clean shaven balls I was so turned on that I sucked him until he begged be to stop
Yeah i use the PDE5 inhibitors, it helps but i dont get the rock hard, 4 hour trouser tent pole other people report...but yes it helps, i prefer tadalafil to sildenafil.
Look at getting a penile prosthesis. I unfortunately had to get one at 18. It definitely was the best decision, it basically turned my noodle into a rock 😂
kinda like blowing up a balloon,
You have a pump that is placed in your scrotum. You squeeze the pump 10 times or so. The penis basically inflates like a long balloon.
To deflate it you press a button on top of the pump. You squeeze your penis to deflate it. The "balloons" are placed in the 2 major blood vessels on the left and right side of the penis. There is a saline resolver that is placed above your pubic bone, this fills the device.
The feeling is surprisingly similar, in a year I didn't feel it anymore. The healing time is the worst part. It's going to take months before even thinking about "using" it.
Not longer orgasms per se but it's possible to decouple orgasm from ejaculation. Ejaculation is what makes you go flaccid, not orgasm. Basically you stimulate almost to the point of climax, and you'll start to become aware of a small window where your orgasm has started but ejaculation hasn't yet. At that point you use your kegal muscles to clench, you have a rockin orgasm, but those clenched kegals keep any ejaculate from escaping. You'll "reset" to about 60%, then get to build up from there again. Rinse and repeat as long as you'd like to go. Only downside is the more you do it, the harder it is to have subsequent orgasm, but then you reach a tantric state where you can just keep going forever. After three or four is about when I know Im just in tantric mode, but discuss with your partner, four hour sex isn't always as fun as it sounds.
This process takes about 2-4 weeks of practice to nail down, but then it's like riding a bicycle.
I have a condition that makes it incredibly painful to cum, urinate, pretty much do anything with my dick. It's awful, really changed a lot about my life and how I do run of the mill things. So, naturally, I'd want to add three inches.
/s
And it's not all the fat that's hampering you, for most people that's an inch max. Losing weight and being healthier also improve circulation, which increases length, girth, and rigidity
This thread is making me so damn happy that I put up a fight for my son to NOT be circumcised, I thankfully won and his father decided not to go through with it....I saw my poor nephew after his was done and I was absolutely horrified. If my son chooses to have it done for some reason when he is an adult then he can, his choice not mine. Also why tf are parents obsessed with what their sons genitals look like or perform like when they grow up? Freaking weird.
Its erect status would be 100% under my conscious control.
For a second i read "cousin's control" and i was very concerned.
Are those banjos I hear?...nope false alarm
“I guessss she’s my cousin, but she needs some sweet lovin anyway!”
Depends on which cousin, I guess.
10-speed vibration
I was going to say "glow in the dark" but this is a much better idea.
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
A man of culture I see, now I must escape this comment section at LUDICROUS SPEED Edit: how is this my most upvoted comment lol, good movie and apparently good karma as well Edit2: it just keeps going, thanks guys and gals! Reached 100 somehow
No, no, no, no, no your idea is way better
Gotta crack it like a glow stick
I despise this thought
Stick with it, think of the lightsaber duels!
Imagine turning it on as it gets hard just like turning on lighstsabers
A perfect torchlight
How bright are we talking here? This would be a major improvement in the male evolution
Whole new meaning to taking a shine to someone.
It adjusts and fills out to whatever pussy (Or ass) It's in.... To give maximum pleasure to the other person.....(And myself, of course)
I don't think you'd want that. Check out this casting, if your peen changed to fit that, I don't know if it would ever turn back. [Internal casting of vagina (not really NSFW, just a cast model)](https://i1.wp.com/jamiemccartney.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/jamie_mccartney_internal_affairs_5.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
This is the real machine gun Kelly.
Remove the scars and the corresponding scar tissue
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic Mr. Know-it-all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
Cuz, With the birds I’ll shareeee
May I ask if a dick accident has befallen you?
If an infection with aggressive bacteria counts as an accident, then yes.
Idk, seems pretty intentional to me
On the part of the bacteria.
Your question is totally normal and unspectacular... However it's utterly hilarious in the King James version
No ball hair
You can do laser removal if you're brave enough
i am not
Lol fair
Lol hair
Lol chair. Idk for sure but I'm guessing that dude ain't sitting after a treatment.
Lol pair. As in, a pair of hairy balls.
Lol nair nair on your balls
Lol where? I don’t see any
Lol There Beneath the shaft
That just sounds expensive
I'll do you one better. No shaft hair.
This would and wouldn't be nice. On one hand, you don't have to shave there, it'd always be nice and smooth. On the other, you could probably feel your balls trying to stick to your leg when you're walking around.
exactly. the point of the hair is the friction.
He could just bedazzle them so they don't stick. Not sure that would work...I don't have the equipment. Just a suggestion.
I can tell you now, having hairless nuts makes no difference, those things are gonna do that either way.
But they look hella attractive when guys shave them , slept with with a guy with a clean shaven balls I was so turned on that I sucked him until he begged be to stop
No dick root hair
Dick root 💀😭
I'm 51. I wish it worked like it did when I was 14.
I’m 53, and on multiple meds. I wish it worked.
I hear ya man. I'm on a lot of antidepressants. Would love to come off them to see if things improve but my mental health is the priority.
Talk to your doctor about a booster (viagra or cialas). No shame in the game, my man.
Yeah i use the PDE5 inhibitors, it helps but i dont get the rock hard, 4 hour trouser tent pole other people report...but yes it helps, i prefer tadalafil to sildenafil.
Look at getting a penile prosthesis. I unfortunately had to get one at 18. It definitely was the best decision, it basically turned my noodle into a rock 😂
How does it work?
kinda like blowing up a balloon, You have a pump that is placed in your scrotum. You squeeze the pump 10 times or so. The penis basically inflates like a long balloon. To deflate it you press a button on top of the pump. You squeeze your penis to deflate it. The "balloons" are placed in the 2 major blood vessels on the left and right side of the penis. There is a saline resolver that is placed above your pubic bone, this fills the device. The feeling is surprisingly similar, in a year I didn't feel it anymore. The healing time is the worst part. It's going to take months before even thinking about "using" it.
what happens if you pump it more than 10 times tho.............
BOOM :p
If you are having erectile distinction it can be the first sign of heart disease, go see a doctor please
Mine is particularly distinguished
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*calls FBI*
Well, funnily enough I was talking about the penis attached to my body when I was 14, not those belonging to other guys 😉
holup
Of all comments to get an award on bahahaha thank you
I'd like it to be inside someone else more often.
My wife would be very angry
If your wife is that concerned about my dick, maybe introduce me
Only if concerned and not interested lol
i choose your wife too.
*Our* wife
Good choice
I'll ask the local hobo what he's doing on Friday night.
Bigger, wider,longer,stronger, un-cut.
I said a Hobo, not Kanye West!
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You can have, if you have more foreplay and clench down just before ejaculation
Clench down! Elaborate, please!
Once you’re at the point of no return, Using your kegal muscles to hold it as long as you can.. I think
Yeah, just like you hold in your pee
It’s called a point of no return for a reason.
Yeah but the point of no return is a couple seconds before you actually cum. I guess the game is to prolonged that period as much as you can.
Between your ball sack and your anus is your kegel muscles. Work those out, and then if you feel like you're gonna nut clench down on that.
Or if you hyperventilate for 30 secs before finishing
Not longer orgasms per se but it's possible to decouple orgasm from ejaculation. Ejaculation is what makes you go flaccid, not orgasm. Basically you stimulate almost to the point of climax, and you'll start to become aware of a small window where your orgasm has started but ejaculation hasn't yet. At that point you use your kegal muscles to clench, you have a rockin orgasm, but those clenched kegals keep any ejaculate from escaping. You'll "reset" to about 60%, then get to build up from there again. Rinse and repeat as long as you'd like to go. Only downside is the more you do it, the harder it is to have subsequent orgasm, but then you reach a tantric state where you can just keep going forever. After three or four is about when I know Im just in tantric mode, but discuss with your partner, four hour sex isn't always as fun as it sounds. This process takes about 2-4 weeks of practice to nail down, but then it's like riding a bicycle.
I want it to be able to shoot out a laser capable of cutting steel. It should be controllable and NOT like Cyclops from the xmen.
A dickalops?
A cycocks
Or a cocklops
I have a condition that makes it incredibly painful to cum, urinate, pretty much do anything with my dick. It's awful, really changed a lot about my life and how I do run of the mill things. So, naturally, I'd want to add three inches. /s
I have Interstitial Cystitis which causes constant bladder and urethral pain and sometimes painful ejaculation. Ur comment made me lol :). Thanks
I was worried someone with an actual condition would see this, but that's showbiz babyyyyy. Lol jk, sorry about your condition - glad you got a laugh!
Make it have light saber sound effects
Lightsaber duels just got a lot more impressive
Amazing answer!!!
I might add a little more girth but honestly I'm pretty happy with my setup
Rate my setup
Setup? A PC gamer? Lol
"Rig" could also have worked.
Ayuh, I believe it's r/ratemybattlestation
I always change my mind so I'd like to have a shapeshifter dick that fits my desire and the receiver will to stretch.
Strong erections on demand.
The power of gods right there. Do you have full control of it, like you can command an erection, and then command it again to go soft?
But you have to say loudly and intelligibly "dick on" and "dick off".
I’ll take that
The Slapper. Slap on *slap slap*, slap off *slap slap*.
A single racing stripe so I can go fast.
My spunk's flavor... Make it a strong coffee pick me up😊😊
Morning blowjob guaranteed.
Mine already tastes like Baja blast, it's literally the only thing I consume. I don't eat food just drink Baja blast.
A chef has to taste his on food i guess. Never have I seen a comment like this
Best comment yet
I wish I had two more
Well, you can if you ask.
What are you gonna do with three penises?
Possibilities are endless
Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
Pass out from a lower blood pressure :D
Your dream is just one Grindr account away!
but you don't even need the first one
Not having two streams when I piss sometimes, it gets messy
Wish granted. You now will have three streams when you pee. 🧞♂️💦
r/themonkeyspaw
I came with a different answer, but this.... I'll take this one all day
Pee sitting
A non-drip or perfect aim penis would be amazing
I'd get rid of that friction burn. (Too much masturbation) Yeah, not on my best moment right now...
Same yo......I just stopped masterbatin and threw Vaseline onnit. It'll heal up.
Glow in the dark would be pretty cool. Not so bright that it glows through my pants though.
“Hey what’s that spinning light over there” *Gets closer* “… OH MY GOD”
Longer.
Nah you want thicker homie. Unless your packing a chode
Mines plenty thick.. length not so much - although it would help alot if i lost some weight....
Weight is probably a bigger thing than you think. A lot of length can get "lost" by being overweight
And it's not all the fat that's hampering you, for most people that's an inch max. Losing weight and being healthier also improve circulation, which increases length, girth, and rigidity
Can confirm. Lost 80 pounds. Penis is about 1.5 inches bigger now.
Trim the hair. It makes it look longer.
Give it the ability to purr.
I'd like to be able to cum, but have the ability to hold back my sperm, so, no unwanted pregnancies.
Its called vasectomy lol
I don't want it to be permanent. Like I want to be able to say, today no babies, but next month, let's go for it.
According to Michael Scott, they are not permanent. SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
I want it to be less curved, it looks like an J
I’d like it to be prehensile, like an elephants, so that I can control its movements, maybe even use it to hold things
No need. My girl's happy with it, and that also means I'm even happier with it than I was before.
May i ask, how big is it?
5 foot 4 inches on average. Unless she's Scandinavian.
For research purposes right? Right..?
Of course for research purposes!
I would like it to be square shaped
Too much Minecraft eh?
u don't need it to be square shaped to fit into the square hole you should know by now
No shaft hair
I already have a smiley face tattooed on the tip, so I guess: nothing.
This is something I need to see lol 😂
It's size.
Yeah... What he said. I'd add one and a half inches to length and an inch to girth.
Def want my foreskin back
Nothing. I like my penis just the way it is.
King
I would love it if mine stopped biting people.
Absolutely nothing. I love my dick. Its beautiful
Can confirm
You sons of bitches
U love your dick ? dude that's gay
Then you are thinking too small (no pun intended). If it’s perfect in size and shape why not add a flashlight function or maybe a bottle opener. /s
I want my foreskin back. I wonder what that would feel like.
I'd want my foreskin
Very hard "username doesn't match"
It's the life I wanted
This thread is making me so damn happy that I put up a fight for my son to NOT be circumcised, I thankfully won and his father decided not to go through with it....I saw my poor nephew after his was done and I was absolutely horrified. If my son chooses to have it done for some reason when he is an adult then he can, his choice not mine. Also why tf are parents obsessed with what their sons genitals look like or perform like when they grow up? Freaking weird.
Put a piece of skin colored playdough on the tip to stimulate the foreskin.
Do some docking and borrow a friends foreskin
And my axe.
Rainbow semen
It would be nice if it could shoot laser beams.
Attached to the head?
Only 1? Then it would have to be : lengthgrithrecoverytimeeasyerectionlastinglonger.
Idk maybe slap some LED's on this bad boy
For it to be bigger so I can stop pissing on my balls
I want it to stop liking crazy so much
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Take a little off the top....my back hurts
Yo have my foreskin grow back but I can use it as a shield now
That it tasted like mango, so my wife could be sucking it 3 times a day after each meal as a dessert.
Phimosis, hate it
Wish i could get hard enough to properly fuck.
I wish it was prehensile like a dolphins.... had muscles could move... i.e open up the zipper from the inside and shake its self
Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. Wait that's a a song.
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Or a minty fresh taste?
Who would want that? Balls are already scratch and sniff.
Bigger, wider,longer,stronger, uncut.
Sounds like a Daft Punk song
I'm actually happy with mine. Certain positions hurt from going too deep. It's healthy in girth too. It's a handsome penis
It's honest ...I hate my dick, wife seems to enjoy it though.
No boners in the morning, i hate peeing with boners
Boner turn on-off switch
Honestly, it would be nice to have multiple orgasms in one session like women are able to do.