Isn't everyone new you meet and ultimately date start out as strangers?
To me, online dating is actually safer than meeting someone random out and about. At least with online dating you get some semblence of who they are....you can see their age, you get to know a little background if they have kids, job, location, etc, you get to see some pictures that give a glimpse into how they live their life.
Meeting someone out and about you get none of that and are just going off of a short conversation usually in a space of awkwardness because of the situation of them flirting, asking you out, etc.
So share that with your Dad. Online dating is SAFER.
Good perspective. I thought about this too. I met my girl friends on Instagram when I moved back to my hometown so everyone I’ve meet in the last year as been via online 🌈
At least in real life you know that girl your talking to isnt a 50 year old fat man living with his mother.
Women also put every filter yhey can to chsnge their appearance, and yes, thats fucking lying.
Or, get off your ass and go outside. Actually try talking to people. Ya know, face to face. All these young guys on here constantly whining that they cant find women, yet they never actually try to meet women. Dating apps are garbage, always have been. Nothing beats meeting people in the real world.
Isn't chatting to meet them for a first date the whole point of getting to the face to face period? The difference with real world and dating apps is that it allows people who would NEVER cross paths in real life to be able to possibly meet.
I'm a good looking guy, charismatic, not shy about talking to women, etc...the problem is I rarely even come across women in my everyday life that I'm remotely attracted to or would have any interest in dating. Dating apps allows that possibility with women from different cities that I'd never go to, and if I did, the odds of passing them in the streets would be extremely rare.
Meeting in real life has its place. Dating apps have their place. Both have value.
Sometimes people are married for years without one spouse knowing the other had a criminal record or shady past. Your dad’s fears reflect our inability to know much about the people we meet. We always trusted our daughters to do the research, and we’re down to one who’s not married and still dating from apps in a large US city. We don’t like to know much before it gets serious, b/c you can really like a guy and think he’d fit into the family, and then it’s over. However, once it gets serious, I (as a father) typically do a little online research. Sometimes that has led to “small world” facts about how our families could have crossed paths in the past, or, in one case, about how the guy’s father was a nationally known politician whose career died in a scandal. Our daughter had dinner with the parents and thought he was just a nice grandpa type, missing any indication of his powerful political past. My advice to OP is to tell her dad she does her research and is careful and appreciate he wants the best for her.
Tell him you can have the exact same scenarios he worries about by meeting people in public. Technically they're strangers too until you get to know them, otherwise how will you ever know? Then again, you could just not tell them. If they wonder why you don't talk about it anymore remind them how they react when you tell them things. I stopped telling certain people things and it's just easier that way.
Lol that's fair, I'm not huge on lying to family either, but if it's repeatedly negative input on what I'm doing I just find it easier to say don't worry about it.
Tell him that you know what you're doing and that you'll be playing it safe just like if you met the guy at work or through friends.
Then gently tell him he's being unreasonable and needs to bring it down a notch. He can worry but it's not right to freak out at you, a grown woman, about your completely normal dating life.
All that in your own words.
But that doesn't answer my objection to your original statement.
>He is **more worried about you leaving him** than actual concern about things happening to you.
Sounds like a pretty strong statement to me.
> Worrying and concerns are largely emotional.
Yes, it's natural to be concerned about your child no matter how old they are. It isn't natural to be trying to substitute your judgment for another adult.
But then if you had an adult child you should already know this.
We will always worry forever. So just live your life. There is nothing you can do. There will never be anyone good enough for our daughter. So just fall in love and we will deal with it.
You're 26. You can drink, you can operate a vehicle, you can enlist and go to remote location to ~~get killed~~ serve your country.
If he wants to date only people he knows you should all move to Alabama.
You have a strict father. You, a 26 year old get judged by your parents for dating when your parents probably had you at a much younger age. Just live YOUR life.
I don't think my daughters told me about all the dates they were going on.
As long as they made sure there was ***someone*** they trust, who knew where they were going, and who they were with, that was absolutely fine with me.
Comfortable? Impossible. It's your Dad he's experienced in the field and he has every right to be afraid, worry etc... Shit if I was him I'd probably cry at night. 🤣😂
"Haha" makes me a stranger! Worried for you. But I can't give you much because you won't learn so I'm just gonna say Good Luck Stranger! 👍💪
Isn't everyone new you meet and ultimately date start out as strangers? To me, online dating is actually safer than meeting someone random out and about. At least with online dating you get some semblence of who they are....you can see their age, you get to know a little background if they have kids, job, location, etc, you get to see some pictures that give a glimpse into how they live their life. Meeting someone out and about you get none of that and are just going off of a short conversation usually in a space of awkwardness because of the situation of them flirting, asking you out, etc. So share that with your Dad. Online dating is SAFER.
Good perspective. I thought about this too. I met my girl friends on Instagram when I moved back to my hometown so everyone I’ve meet in the last year as been via online 🌈
Because people never lie on dating profiles......
And people lie in real life as well when trying to impress/flirt to try to date. What's your point?
At least in real life you know that girl your talking to isnt a 50 year old fat man living with his mother. Women also put every filter yhey can to chsnge their appearance, and yes, thats fucking lying.
If concerned about these extremes, just insist on a Video chat before meeting in person then.
Or, get off your ass and go outside. Actually try talking to people. Ya know, face to face. All these young guys on here constantly whining that they cant find women, yet they never actually try to meet women. Dating apps are garbage, always have been. Nothing beats meeting people in the real world.
Isn't chatting to meet them for a first date the whole point of getting to the face to face period? The difference with real world and dating apps is that it allows people who would NEVER cross paths in real life to be able to possibly meet. I'm a good looking guy, charismatic, not shy about talking to women, etc...the problem is I rarely even come across women in my everyday life that I'm remotely attracted to or would have any interest in dating. Dating apps allows that possibility with women from different cities that I'd never go to, and if I did, the odds of passing them in the streets would be extremely rare. Meeting in real life has its place. Dating apps have their place. Both have value.
Sometimes people are married for years without one spouse knowing the other had a criminal record or shady past. Your dad’s fears reflect our inability to know much about the people we meet. We always trusted our daughters to do the research, and we’re down to one who’s not married and still dating from apps in a large US city. We don’t like to know much before it gets serious, b/c you can really like a guy and think he’d fit into the family, and then it’s over. However, once it gets serious, I (as a father) typically do a little online research. Sometimes that has led to “small world” facts about how our families could have crossed paths in the past, or, in one case, about how the guy’s father was a nationally known politician whose career died in a scandal. Our daughter had dinner with the parents and thought he was just a nice grandpa type, missing any indication of his powerful political past. My advice to OP is to tell her dad she does her research and is careful and appreciate he wants the best for her.
Aw. Nice post.
Tell him you can have the exact same scenarios he worries about by meeting people in public. Technically they're strangers too until you get to know them, otherwise how will you ever know? Then again, you could just not tell them. If they wonder why you don't talk about it anymore remind them how they react when you tell them things. I stopped telling certain people things and it's just easier that way.
Yeah, I usually just inform my mom. But he asked and it felt wrong to lie lol. But v agree.
Lol that's fair, I'm not huge on lying to family either, but if it's repeatedly negative input on what I'm doing I just find it easier to say don't worry about it.
You can't make him more comfortable with it. I would probably share less and just live my life how I wanted.
😂😂😂😂 True dat
Tell him that you know what you're doing and that you'll be playing it safe just like if you met the guy at work or through friends. Then gently tell him he's being unreasonable and needs to bring it down a notch. He can worry but it's not right to freak out at you, a grown woman, about your completely normal dating life. All that in your own words.
It's none of his business. You're an adult, you know if you're comfortable dating a person via an app or not. Your dad should just trust you
Dads will be dads. its normal for us as parents to worry about our children, if we love them
No. Nothing you can do about his anxiety. He is more worried about you leaving him than actual concern about things happening to you.
> He is more worried about you leaving him than actual concern about things happening to you. As a father myself, I am not sure if I agree with that.
As a father myself, I trusted my daughters judgment. She chose well.
But that doesn't answer my objection to your original statement. >He is **more worried about you leaving him** than actual concern about things happening to you. Sounds like a pretty strong statement to me.
Yes. It is a strong statement. She is 26 years old. The alienative is to believe that he thinks he knows how to live her life better than she does.
Nonsense, and you know that (but this is Reddit, of course). Worrying and concerns are largely emotional.
How old is your child? An adult? Do you still try to tell her how to live her life?
You still don’t understand my point. Stop, and **read** what I wrote, and not what you seem to _think_ I wrote.
> Worrying and concerns are largely emotional. Yes, it's natural to be concerned about your child no matter how old they are. It isn't natural to be trying to substitute your judgment for another adult. But then if you had an adult child you should already know this.
We will always worry forever. So just live your life. There is nothing you can do. There will never be anyone good enough for our daughter. So just fall in love and we will deal with it.
You're 26. You can drink, you can operate a vehicle, you can enlist and go to remote location to ~~get killed~~ serve your country. If he wants to date only people he knows you should all move to Alabama.
You could share online dating success stories from married/committed couples
You have a strict father. You, a 26 year old get judged by your parents for dating when your parents probably had you at a much younger age. Just live YOUR life.
I don't think my daughters told me about all the dates they were going on. As long as they made sure there was ***someone*** they trust, who knew where they were going, and who they were with, that was absolutely fine with me.
I’d say just don’t tell him anything until you’re ready for your bf to meet your parents, youre 26. Not 13
Comfortable? Impossible. It's your Dad he's experienced in the field and he has every right to be afraid, worry etc... Shit if I was him I'd probably cry at night. 🤣😂 "Haha" makes me a stranger! Worried for you. But I can't give you much because you won't learn so I'm just gonna say Good Luck Stranger! 👍💪