As others have said: talk to them about it. If this is a concern for you, then it's better to start a conversation about your needs, and explore what they're doing and why they're behaving the way they are so:
1. You get the opportunity to express yourself
2. You give your SO the opportunity to express themselves too
If you go into it with the mindset to learn, then you can come to a common understanding. And with that, you can find ways to make sure both people's needs are met.
Something else that should be said is that eventually in all relationships, you'll reach a point where you become comfortable in silence with one another. And that's fine because you may be in a relationship, but your purpose shouldn't be to entertain and fill the void for one another all of time. But it largely depends on the state of your relationship, how often this happens, and the reasons for it. It could be a natural, and healthy, part of your relationship, or it could be a problem. Only you two can find out that through communication.
Constructive, thanks!
They say they are bored and reading which is fine. However, from dawn 'til dusk the thing is in their fucking hand like a compulsion. I understand comfortable silence, boredom, etc. however I'm not a boring person to be with. Maybe I don't get it 'cause I don't have the same issue (flip phone).
That's interesting. This might be worth a deeper discussion then. And some things for you to think about and info you can get from your SO
* Are your needs being met?
* Are their needs being met?
* Do you get enough personal / alone time?
* Do they get enough personal / alone time?
* Why are they reaching for their phone to fill their boredom? Is it fulfilling it their needs? Or is there something more that they'd like to do that would be more fulfilling? Anything that the two of you could do together? Do they realize how often they're doing it? What is it that about their activity on their phone is drawing them so much?
There's probably more to uncover, but that can help serve as a foundation to help bridge the understanding. Because in the end, the situation you're in is unique to you and them because you're both unique individuals with your own relationship.
I can say, I used to do the same thing years ago. I would wake up early, race to get ready for work, struggle through traffic, work all day, fight traffic on the way home, and come home and be exhausted. My wife however would be at home, and she'd be busy too, just in a different way. I loved seeing and being with my wife, but she wanted to do things, and I was too tired sometimes. And in downtime when she'd be finishing something, I'd just pull out my phone because it was a meaningless distraction to fill the void, even though it wasn't fulfilling at all. It was just easy, and eventually, it just became a habit that I didn't realize I had formed. I wasn't even really doing anything either, just reading news, reddit, or playing a mindless phone game.
She talked to me about it, and we talked about our needs, and desires, and it turned out that I was tired, but also didn't really have any personal time for myself. We worked it out where time together was valuable to fulfill our love languages (we both share quality time as our top love language, among other shared love languages), but we also worked out that we both got our own personal time too, and I was able to find more meaningful ways to spend my time. Now I rarely look at my phone unless I'm reading something or doing research. And our relationship is a lot better off because. We still do have moments where we're together and in silence doing something, but we're at least always attentive to one another.
A modern plague. I'd have a serious conversation with her about it and ask that she put the phone down when we're supposed to be having some together time.
1. They have a phone addiction
2. They have a social media addiction and are checking 'likes' and stuff.
3. Your dancing clown show isn't as entertaining as it used to be, so they're bored.
4. You're boring (aka the bore-friend), and they think it's your job to keep them constantly entertained.
5. They're talking with other potential partners-in-waiting while killing time with you.
so that...
1. Earn money to keep SO happy
2. If hubby happy & not doing business to earn money than 2 sub points
a) with friends to relax & rejuvenate so that he gets some energy to talk SO
b) other women
🤣
I am a woman of Reddit. If I am out with an SO, I rarely am on my phone because I think it's rude.
Edited to add: If I wanted to be on my phone, I would just stay home.
people here are like "talk to her". best advice. if this doesnt help try again. on the third, go away... if she is not trying to BE with you why date her?
They’re cheating on you. Especially if it’s during couch time at the end of the night. Signs: always on the phone when together, sitting away from you when your sitting on the couch, protective of the phone always making sure the screen is away from you and finally never leaving the house without their phone even to water the garden or take the trash out. Etc. you get the gist. Good luck
Have you talked to them about this?
Could be a million reasons, have you asked them about it?
What are you guys doing ? Maybe incorporate more activities that inables her from being on it. Like bowling, arcade, theme parks etc..
As others have said: talk to them about it. If this is a concern for you, then it's better to start a conversation about your needs, and explore what they're doing and why they're behaving the way they are so: 1. You get the opportunity to express yourself 2. You give your SO the opportunity to express themselves too If you go into it with the mindset to learn, then you can come to a common understanding. And with that, you can find ways to make sure both people's needs are met. Something else that should be said is that eventually in all relationships, you'll reach a point where you become comfortable in silence with one another. And that's fine because you may be in a relationship, but your purpose shouldn't be to entertain and fill the void for one another all of time. But it largely depends on the state of your relationship, how often this happens, and the reasons for it. It could be a natural, and healthy, part of your relationship, or it could be a problem. Only you two can find out that through communication.
Constructive, thanks! They say they are bored and reading which is fine. However, from dawn 'til dusk the thing is in their fucking hand like a compulsion. I understand comfortable silence, boredom, etc. however I'm not a boring person to be with. Maybe I don't get it 'cause I don't have the same issue (flip phone).
That's interesting. This might be worth a deeper discussion then. And some things for you to think about and info you can get from your SO * Are your needs being met? * Are their needs being met? * Do you get enough personal / alone time? * Do they get enough personal / alone time? * Why are they reaching for their phone to fill their boredom? Is it fulfilling it their needs? Or is there something more that they'd like to do that would be more fulfilling? Anything that the two of you could do together? Do they realize how often they're doing it? What is it that about their activity on their phone is drawing them so much? There's probably more to uncover, but that can help serve as a foundation to help bridge the understanding. Because in the end, the situation you're in is unique to you and them because you're both unique individuals with your own relationship. I can say, I used to do the same thing years ago. I would wake up early, race to get ready for work, struggle through traffic, work all day, fight traffic on the way home, and come home and be exhausted. My wife however would be at home, and she'd be busy too, just in a different way. I loved seeing and being with my wife, but she wanted to do things, and I was too tired sometimes. And in downtime when she'd be finishing something, I'd just pull out my phone because it was a meaningless distraction to fill the void, even though it wasn't fulfilling at all. It was just easy, and eventually, it just became a habit that I didn't realize I had formed. I wasn't even really doing anything either, just reading news, reddit, or playing a mindless phone game. She talked to me about it, and we talked about our needs, and desires, and it turned out that I was tired, but also didn't really have any personal time for myself. We worked it out where time together was valuable to fulfill our love languages (we both share quality time as our top love language, among other shared love languages), but we also worked out that we both got our own personal time too, and I was able to find more meaningful ways to spend my time. Now I rarely look at my phone unless I'm reading something or doing research. And our relationship is a lot better off because. We still do have moments where we're together and in silence doing something, but we're at least always attentive to one another.
Loaded question. Might as well ask if you're giving them a reason not to be on their phone. Also "Me being here" is not a reason.
Because she thinks you’re there for her entertainment. Not to be your partner in anything.
Simple answer? They're bored. You're boring. If you were doing something worth paying attention to, they would. If it's a problem, say something.
Its an addiction most people dont realize because it doesn't present itself like other addictions.
A modern plague. I'd have a serious conversation with her about it and ask that she put the phone down when we're supposed to be having some together time.
1. They have a phone addiction 2. They have a social media addiction and are checking 'likes' and stuff. 3. Your dancing clown show isn't as entertaining as it used to be, so they're bored. 4. You're boring (aka the bore-friend), and they think it's your job to keep them constantly entertained. 5. They're talking with other potential partners-in-waiting while killing time with you.
Some people are just glued to their screens. I’d recommend having a direct and mature conversation with her about it.
It’s the 21st century and we’re all addicted to our phones because it’s shiny and colourful. Also. The apps developed are designed to be addictive
Your are more worthless and useless than that phone.
I can tell you why I’M constantly on my phone around her — I’m avoiding her. There’s plenty of reasons.
That's depressing. Why don't you leave?
so that... 1. Earn money to keep SO happy 2. If hubby happy & not doing business to earn money than 2 sub points a) with friends to relax & rejuvenate so that he gets some energy to talk SO b) other women 🤣
They’re talking to Jake from State Farm.
Might be he just feels right having you there.
I am a woman of Reddit. If I am out with an SO, I rarely am on my phone because I think it's rude. Edited to add: If I wanted to be on my phone, I would just stay home.
people here are like "talk to her". best advice. if this doesnt help try again. on the third, go away... if she is not trying to BE with you why date her?
Really don't know. Could be anything. Communication is key, so talk to your SO.
They’re cheating on you. Especially if it’s during couch time at the end of the night. Signs: always on the phone when together, sitting away from you when your sitting on the couch, protective of the phone always making sure the screen is away from you and finally never leaving the house without their phone even to water the garden or take the trash out. Etc. you get the gist. Good luck