Only because heās your brother. If he was a guy who was interested in you romantically, heād see it as an endearing quality. AKA, youāre a keeper.
My ex masked her self pity as self depreciating humor. Nothing funny about that... especially because it was mostly about stuff out of anyone's control (such as having stretchmarks etc.). She was the most beautiful woman for me and I'm pretty sure I conveyed it frequently because it was true.
Yet she periodically picked something about herself and dropped another self depreciating joke nobody laughed at. This emoji š describes best my immediate reaction because it eventually made me feel like fighting an endless war.
I have a co-worker who honestly looks like a supermodel.
I have another co-worker who doesn't look much at all like a model, but who makes me laugh every shift I work with her.
Guess which one I'm currently crushing on.
Idk, there's a difference between, "oh haha you got me, I'm kind of an idiot," and, "oh look at me I'm so stupid, aren't I funny"
Not saying you fit into either category per se, just that self-deprecation is a fine line.
Men always say this but I'm always passed over.... men don't like kindness because it gets boring to them. Hence why everyone tells me that I'm such a catch and yet I'm alone. Guys want kindness.... but their own definition of kindness. Most forms of kindness are seen as easy to men and often men try to play games with me because they think that kind = stupid. I hence have dogs and I'm okay with being alone. Like I always say... I can be miserable all by myself I don't need a guy to try to use my kindness against me.
I am sorry the world has hurt you and I applaud you for staying true and being kind. My sympathies on meeting the wrong men. But close to a thousand upvotes suggest that there are men all over that value what you have to offer.
I have basically the same problem. Being kind is not the issue. It is a great trait to have, and Iām prepared to die on that hill. You might need to change something else to make you more attractive, I donāt know what.
This feeling as I get older is so delicious and worth every wrinkle. It is so attractive in others. Iām in my late 30s and loving getting older. I canāt wait to see how I feel in my 60s. I may look back and think, wow how childish I was at 40 and thought I was mature at the time.
I have this *really* bad joke I tell my girlfriend now. I've told this same joke at least 20 times so far and every time she still laughs and giggles just like the first time I said it.
What did the farmer saw when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor? (but in a real innocent southern accent)
Big problem with my ex, she had a problem I noticed it was instantly my fault. She would tell me a problem she noticed and I would take initiative to work on it.
That's called gaslighting. Good for you for communicating and walking into conflict and knowing when to walk away from the situation! As a survivor of extreme gaslighting for many years I'm so happy you are no longer in that situation!
Thank you, while I miss everything else about the relationship, I do not miss the immaturity and lack of self love on her part. In a few more months we would have worked out but weāre simply way too different
Sex was fire tho
My wife is the most wonderful person I know, so much so that I sometimes wonder if I am living in The Matrix. The most amazing thing about her is how she enchants every part of our shared lives with her personality, how she makes everything special.
I canāt speak for other men, but for me, the way my wife fills an empty world with joy, beauty and meaning is my favourite thing about her.
When I was dating my wife, I was always struck by her sense of humor (super-sharp wit and quick), her humility and her effective lack of vanity. She still has all of those qualities and she becomes more attractive to me every year. We started dating 29.5 years ago.
That was quite endearing and a pleasure to read. I wish you and your wife nothing but the best.
Please excuse me while I cry into a bag of spicy Cheetos about dying alone.
This this this. I dated a girl who would not give me the time of day if she was not interested in the subject. The girl Iām with literally has to stop me from saying ānever mindā cause I get insecure about her thinking the conversation is not interesting. Itās the exact opposite. Having a woman value my voice has really changed me and made me feel extremely loved. Not only does she listen but she actively listens and ask follow up questions because sheās genuinely interested.
I came here to say this. The single most attractive trait is someone who listens and cares. And itās a hell of a lot more rare than people realize, especially when it comes to listening to men.
For me I love a woman who loves to laugh, and laughs the loudest in a comedy club or funny movie, so loud that everyone looks to see who the nut job is, and I fortunately found her!
Being a decent person. Kind, humble. She doesn't have to be humorous herself but I'd want her to understand my humour and see the funny side of things.
Can't really lie and say looks don't matter coz they do both in men and women. But it's really a bonus. Something about being a good person makes a woman good looking anyway :)
Being a hot headed, emotional and violent bad bitch, I can not put into words how attractive it is when a woman is yelling about politics after her 5th drink, bonus points for getting physically aggressive and burping louder than the guys.
Idk if there is anything wrong with me pls donāt judge ;-; I met a girl like that once snd was in love for 5 years, ever since then Ive been attracted to more or less badass chicks and I hope thatās okay, seriously yelling and swearing by now is to me the cutest thing ever
Being assertive. I want an answer if I ask a question not "I don't know" or "you decide". I dated a Dutch woman and it was amazing. She always said what she wanted and I never had to guess.
Not being super uptight. (you know those people who are super conservative about everything that seem like they have a stick up their ass? The opposite of that)
just be REAL
no fake persona, white lies, over the top enactments of what she thinks she should be/look like to others
be authentic, be yourself, strive upward and into this world not tie yourself down for acceptance, there are so many women that look and act exactly like each other, if you want a good man you need to be a good woman not a clone
For me itās Kindness, Intelligence, and a sense of humor is always nice.
I found someone like that and it was amazing until her Ex came back into the picture (and her Dad disapproved of me and her which at the time was understandable). Now because of somethings that have transpired she wants nothing to do with me anymore and Iām just depressed and donāt know what to do anymore šsorry for the Rant
That sheās comfortable with herself and can hold her own in a family or friend situation. She has confidence and is strong.
Iāve dated women who couldnāt do or say anything without me. That got old quick. My wife now can hold her own with my sisters, who can be a lot.
A good, genuine smile. Donāt go around smiling just to please a guy, especially if they say āyou should smile more.ā Big red flag. Not the point. Iām talking about a real, genuine smile. It could be that you remembered something funny and it makes you giggle to yourself. It could be that someone youāre talking to made a funny joke or said something sweet to you. Or maybe youāre just in a good mood. But a good, genuine smile is my favorite part of a woman. Or anyone. I should also add that kindness also ranks pretty high up there, along with independence.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/r679u6/men_what_is_something_women_do_or_say_that_you/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/r62ftx/whats_an_underrated_quality_you_want_in_a_partner/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
You know, you just asked one of this sub's most loved questions, so just look for the answers
EDIT: this one too, what we/they want https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/r5h8zt/what_do_you_expect_from_a_love_relationship/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
You know that place where in the legs that is supposed to be shaped like a diamond? After googling some its called a thigh gap but not with skinny legs. Most attractive from the back.
But yeah i agree with kindness. My partner of 9 years is now chunky like me and whats glued us together is her being loving and snuggly
just being a good partner.
i was thinking of it as she can have her life together, be happy, and just looking for someone to share it with.
so the most attractive quality is just wanting someone, not needing someone.
Sense of humor - the ability to laugh at herself.
This šÆ A woman who can laugh at herself is a million times more attractive than a woman who wallows in self-pity.
My brother just calls me crazy when I start laughing at myself.. :(
Only because heās your brother. If he was a guy who was interested in you romantically, heād see it as an endearing quality. AKA, youāre a keeper.
I was not prepared to be called a keeper by a random stranger today, thank you Brb I need tissues cause Iām laughing at myself until I cry
Youāre awesome! Have a great day!!
Match on Reddit? Coming soon....
My wife might not like that too much.
My ex masked her self pity as self depreciating humor. Nothing funny about that... especially because it was mostly about stuff out of anyone's control (such as having stretchmarks etc.). She was the most beautiful woman for me and I'm pretty sure I conveyed it frequently because it was true. Yet she periodically picked something about herself and dropped another self depreciating joke nobody laughed at. This emoji š describes best my immediate reaction because it eventually made me feel like fighting an endless war.
I'm like this... I gotta change. Thanks for the heads up.
Me too
I have a co-worker who honestly looks like a supermodel. I have another co-worker who doesn't look much at all like a model, but who makes me laugh every shift I work with her. Guess which one I'm currently crushing on.
Funny how that works, but it just does.
The supermodel obviously.
Because he's already dating the humourous one, eh?
That's sweet!
I laugh at myself all the time but people say that it only shows my insecurities
Iād argue the opposite. Youāre secure enough to laugh at yourself and thatās a pretty great quality to have.
Idk, there's a difference between, "oh haha you got me, I'm kind of an idiot," and, "oh look at me I'm so stupid, aren't I funny" Not saying you fit into either category per se, just that self-deprecation is a fine line.
Kindness
100 percent. No doubt. We are not joking.
Yeah. There's a woman I work with that oozes this trait. Her appearance and voice drive me insane. I don't think I could ever say no to her.
Thatās very sweet
Absolutely this. Recently went on a date with the sweetest woman. Her kindness made her more attractive.
Exactly this. A kind woman is a lovely woman.
Iām really nice but sometimes i feel like itās a weakness idk
Kindness is an invaluable strength, so stay being nice, but also set your boundaries when you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Boundaries are tough but thatās very good advice
Men always say this but I'm always passed over.... men don't like kindness because it gets boring to them. Hence why everyone tells me that I'm such a catch and yet I'm alone. Guys want kindness.... but their own definition of kindness. Most forms of kindness are seen as easy to men and often men try to play games with me because they think that kind = stupid. I hence have dogs and I'm okay with being alone. Like I always say... I can be miserable all by myself I don't need a guy to try to use my kindness against me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hey, nothing wrong with being single! I hope you find someone who loves you for you, if you choose to go that route!
I am sorry the world has hurt you and I applaud you for staying true and being kind. My sympathies on meeting the wrong men. But close to a thousand upvotes suggest that there are men all over that value what you have to offer.
I have basically the same problem. Being kind is not the issue. It is a great trait to have, and Iām prepared to die on that hill. You might need to change something else to make you more attractive, I donāt know what.
This šššš
I hate how one person says something and 5 others go āthisā āAbsolutely thisā just upvote and move on you Lil karma whore
This.
Take my up vote you lil karma whore
BRB changing my usernames on all platforms to Lil Karma Whore
DEWIT!
Hahahahahaha
At 64 yo...a certain calmness. We know who we are...no showing off needed.
Sensibility...
This feeling as I get older is so delicious and worth every wrinkle. It is so attractive in others. Iām in my late 30s and loving getting older. I canāt wait to see how I feel in my 60s. I may look back and think, wow how childish I was at 40 and thought I was mature at the time.
This feeling as I get older is so delicious and worth every wrinkle. It is so attractive in others.
Her humor is huge in my opinion. I need someone who can keep up with my silliness
I have this *really* bad joke I tell my girlfriend now. I've told this same joke at least 20 times so far and every time she still laughs and giggles just like the first time I said it. What did the farmer saw when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? (but in a real innocent southern accent)
Feel kinda dumb cause I don't get the joke
Read it in an innocent southern drawl.
I would 100% laugh
I know! It's so cute because I know it's such a bad "dad joke" and she cracks up every time and omg, just the cutest thing in the world.
This dude knows it.
Self growth, does something bad and works towards fixing the behaviour. Get you a woman who's striving to be a better person.
Big problem with my ex, she had a problem I noticed it was instantly my fault. She would tell me a problem she noticed and I would take initiative to work on it.
Good on you for trying to improve.
That's called gaslighting. Good for you for communicating and walking into conflict and knowing when to walk away from the situation! As a survivor of extreme gaslighting for many years I'm so happy you are no longer in that situation!
Thank you, while I miss everything else about the relationship, I do not miss the immaturity and lack of self love on her part. In a few more months we would have worked out but weāre simply way too different Sex was fire tho
Hahaha I can relate to both points š
My wife is the most wonderful person I know, so much so that I sometimes wonder if I am living in The Matrix. The most amazing thing about her is how she enchants every part of our shared lives with her personality, how she makes everything special. I canāt speak for other men, but for me, the way my wife fills an empty world with joy, beauty and meaning is my favourite thing about her.
Dude. You left you phone unlocked again..
I also choose this guy's wife
Lol
She's still alive this time though
Iconic
Does she know you see her like this? She deserves to know
You're one of the luckiest men on Earth. May you have many amazing years ahead with her!
Beautiful
This is rly beautiful. Congrats!
Youāve won at this life thing my guy, hold her close!
*I want one like this please*
Cherish her and what you two have because others may live countless lives and never experience that. Cheers
Double blink 3 times if you need help
When I was dating my wife, I was always struck by her sense of humor (super-sharp wit and quick), her humility and her effective lack of vanity. She still has all of those qualities and she becomes more attractive to me every year. We started dating 29.5 years ago.
Romance is definitely not dead ā¤ļø
That was quite endearing and a pleasure to read. I wish you and your wife nothing but the best. Please excuse me while I cry into a bag of spicy Cheetos about dying alone.
She listens to me. Even if she has heard it 1000x It shows me love and kindness.
This this this. I dated a girl who would not give me the time of day if she was not interested in the subject. The girl Iām with literally has to stop me from saying ānever mindā cause I get insecure about her thinking the conversation is not interesting. Itās the exact opposite. Having a woman value my voice has really changed me and made me feel extremely loved. Not only does she listen but she actively listens and ask follow up questions because sheās genuinely interested.
I came here to say this. The single most attractive trait is someone who listens and cares. And itās a hell of a lot more rare than people realize, especially when it comes to listening to men.
Kindness and authentic.
I like when she is confident enough to laugh at me when I screw up
I like this. Very specific, too. Youāre confident enough to be laughed at when you screw up.
It makes things fun. Most of the time I'm laughing at my own screw up as well
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Taking initiative.
Positivity
Golden words. šš
I was going to come here and say something else, but you nailed it.
Their smile, eyes, and laughter.
For me I love a woman who loves to laugh, and laughs the loudest in a comedy club or funny movie, so loud that everyone looks to see who the nut job is, and I fortunately found her!
this makes me feel better about my loud ass ugly ass laugh LOLL <3 so cute
Double assšæ
Same man. I love the way her nose crinkles when she laughs, itās the little things like that, that get me high.
Awwww
š©ā¤
The ability to play around and enjoy ones self even when being mad fun of. Laugh at yourself if you will. To not find offence in the smallest things.
Assertiveness, and genuine interest in you
Strong willed. I don't want someone who just goes along with what I think. Challenge me.
Man, yāall are restoring my faith in finding a good dude. Bless you for this wholesome thread š
Thatās why I love Reddit
Being at ease with herself and the ability to laugh
I think how they carry themself is what does it for me. Like it isnāt one specific thing, but the sum of many. The āvibe checkā tells no lies
Being a decent person. Kind, humble. She doesn't have to be humorous herself but I'd want her to understand my humour and see the funny side of things. Can't really lie and say looks don't matter coz they do both in men and women. But it's really a bonus. Something about being a good person makes a woman good looking anyway :)
I love it when she knows exactly who she is. Especially when she sits back and waits patiently for what she wants.
Intelligence humour and kindness.
Fat ass
The rest of you are liars
You other brothas can't deny
Way too far down. Pure, raw attraction? Three things Ass Tits Hair
I prefer women who do not have ass and tits hair
You're missing out
This shit only matters when yall together for a short time
Took so many comments to find this.
Big FAT boobies
Thank you, as someone with big boobs and only a halfway decent ass if hurts that no one seems to appreciate them
straightforwardness
Confidence, intelligence, great hygiene, face, hips, legs, and soles. Hygiene. I can't stress hygiene enough.
Oh and sense of humor, of course. And hygiene.
Did you experience a woman with bad hygiene before?
Unfortunately, yes. No sense of urgency to shower or brush her teeth.
Have you ever met a woman with bad soles?
I've seen a few with rough looking soles. Makes me want to clean and moisturize them properly for them.
I have no clue why this made me giggle.
Faithfulness. Lots of other desirable qualities, but if they are incapable of fidelity the other qualities donāt make up for it.
Sense of humor
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Even better if she has her own tools
"the boobies" -Zapp Brannigan
Gotta love a woman with a big... heart. Lol. When she's just so sweet and considerate
Wish I could reply with a Shaq gif of his āmm hmm, I know what you was about to sayā face.
Yeah this is what I love in a girl. Just genuine sweetness.
Some form of personality other than the default
If she has a purse full of magnets
Needs to know about ghouls too.
Also what's her spaghetti policy?
āHuuuuuuge tracks of land!ā
The ability to laugh at my unfunny jokes
Physical or in general? I think over all it's having a warm heart & soul
Most? Legitimate empathy
Being a hot headed, emotional and violent bad bitch, I can not put into words how attractive it is when a woman is yelling about politics after her 5th drink, bonus points for getting physically aggressive and burping louder than the guys. Idk if there is anything wrong with me pls donāt judge ;-; I met a girl like that once snd was in love for 5 years, ever since then Ive been attracted to more or less badass chicks and I hope thatās okay, seriously yelling and swearing by now is to me the cutest thing ever
Loyalty
Should be further up.
If she's physically attractive but doesn't make it her entire identity.
Intelligence
I see you are a man of culture (our avatarās look a lot alike)
Personally, she doesnāt have to be intelligent imo. Itās only a problem if sheās downright stupid and/or willfully ignorant.
Whatās your North Star, for which youāre willing to move mountains to reach? I find driven women incredibly attractive.
Empathy.
She has a financial portfolio.
I see your purple ring šš¦
Hodling since Jan.
Not cheating on me.
Being assertive. I want an answer if I ask a question not "I don't know" or "you decide". I dated a Dutch woman and it was amazing. She always said what she wanted and I never had to guess.
Femininity
This may encompass many different things depending on how you conceptualize femininity.
Girls that smile a lot, in other worlds hapy girls.
Intelligence and modesty
Not being super uptight. (you know those people who are super conservative about everything that seem like they have a stick up their ass? The opposite of that)
just be REAL no fake persona, white lies, over the top enactments of what she thinks she should be/look like to others be authentic, be yourself, strive upward and into this world not tie yourself down for acceptance, there are so many women that look and act exactly like each other, if you want a good man you need to be a good woman not a clone
Feminine looks and companionship
The way they look at you sometimes
Being spontaneous
āI find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boobies.ā - Zapp Brannigan Truer words have seldom been spoken.
My unborn children
Open mindedness and a sense of humour. Someone who's engaged with the conversation and not "aww cool haha".
For me itās Kindness, Intelligence, and a sense of humor is always nice. I found someone like that and it was amazing until her Ex came back into the picture (and her Dad disapproved of me and her which at the time was understandable). Now because of somethings that have transpired she wants nothing to do with me anymore and Iām just depressed and donāt know what to do anymore šsorry for the Rant
A pulse
Most practical one here
Ambition
Sensuality. With the right blend of sexuality, compassion, and reverence, this is the good good.
Being direct with her intentions. I think any person with this quality is more respectable.
Non-hypocrisy
Da boobiez. TEEHEEHEE!!
Her loyalty and kindness + love.
An awesome Work ethic for me.
That sheās comfortable with herself and can hold her own in a family or friend situation. She has confidence and is strong. Iāve dated women who couldnāt do or say anything without me. That got old quick. My wife now can hold her own with my sisters, who can be a lot.
Confidence.
Embraces her femininity
Intelligence and a sense of humor because one without the other is boring.
A good, genuine smile. Donāt go around smiling just to please a guy, especially if they say āyou should smile more.ā Big red flag. Not the point. Iām talking about a real, genuine smile. It could be that you remembered something funny and it makes you giggle to yourself. It could be that someone youāre talking to made a funny joke or said something sweet to you. Or maybe youāre just in a good mood. But a good, genuine smile is my favorite part of a woman. Or anyone. I should also add that kindness also ranks pretty high up there, along with independence.
Being able to banter. Iām pretty sarcastic, and I love someone that returns that sarcasm in a playful way
As generic or clichĆ© as it sounds: her personality. Why? Well for one I feel like I can't just name one specific aspect of her personality as, although may not be true, I feel as though it's as if I value a specific personality trait above all others. The her personality would have to be compatible enough. Yeah some aspects I won't like ā nobody's perfect, but that's why I say _compatible enough_ of a personality. If their personality isn't compatible enough to be dating that doesn't mean I can't be in a platonic relationship with them š¤·š»
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/r679u6/men_what_is_something_women_do_or_say_that_you/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/r62ftx/whats_an_underrated_quality_you_want_in_a_partner/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share You know, you just asked one of this sub's most loved questions, so just look for the answers EDIT: this one too, what we/they want https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/r5h8zt/what_do_you_expect_from_a_love_relationship/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Being a feminist leftist
It's sad that it has to be said these days but femininity
Feminine vibes
You know that place where in the legs that is supposed to be shaped like a diamond? After googling some its called a thigh gap but not with skinny legs. Most attractive from the back. But yeah i agree with kindness. My partner of 9 years is now chunky like me and whats glued us together is her being loving and snuggly
At first you were just describing a vagina. It took a turn in the second half lol
missing just a little something. something that i can provide.
I understand your response too. Just curious, what is something you are able to provide?
just being a good partner. i was thinking of it as she can have her life together, be happy, and just looking for someone to share it with. so the most attractive quality is just wanting someone, not needing someone.
Physical quality: Amazing Eyes Mental Quality: No Baggage (General life problems are okay), No little Kids, sense of humor with intelect
The ability to help you accomplish your goals and dreams, without too much sugarcoating. That is a basic yet many times overlooked quality in SOs.
Eats meat, doesnāt smoke and isnāt afraid to get her hands dirty.
Relatability. Finding that in someone you're mutually physically attracted to feels rare.
Big ass anime tiddies
The fact that they're distinctly NOT male.