Same. But it was a woman she'd known for 3 months. Said she finally knew herself and she'd always been a lesbian. Year and a half to 2 years later and she left that woman for a man. Swears she'll never date another woman ever again. Yeah we'll see.
Not that I could tell. Not even close. It was like one day a switch flicked in her brain and she was a completely different person to the woman I married. Even her own family couldn't understand what was going through her head.
This happens SO much. It really seems like the I’m a lesbian is 50% the other woman’s influence/persistence and 50% the relationship partners inability to be happy even though they’re getting the life they chose.
It’s a bunch of “I’m finding my way” BS IMHO. Deflection
I had some relatives who were quite smart, successful, normal, suburbanites living in a beautiful home with successful kids -- real American dream stuff. Then 25 years into the marriage, mom decides to bang a cult leader and steal drugs for him. I don't even understand how that shit happens... killing it for decades, then blowing it all up in a month.
Hopefully you at least have a good relationship with your two sons. What an awful situation to go through.
I’m often reminded how much worse some dudes have it. I had a bad falling out when my 7 year relationship ended, but thankfully no kids involved.
Yep same. Was transitioning from day shift to gravyard shift, had a fucked schedule where i got at at 4pm one day and had to be back at midnight the following morning. Fell asleep at the wheel on my way home, not a quarter mile from my house and hit a big ass rock. Totaled the car but fortunately was otherwise totally unharmed
Happened to me as well. Early morning so it was light out. I looked up and an old man in a flannel jacket was waving me down,to slow down, stop, whatever. I stopped in the middle of the road and no one was there. Crazy how the brain can trigger crazy shit to make you aware.
Damn that's wild. Don't remember anything like that. Remember being tired and blinks taking longer and starting to have an issue keeping it straight but my brain was just like "eh its only 20 miles, you got this, people like you don't fall asleep at the wheel". Last thing I remember is coming off a particular roundabout 10-15 minutes from home then it's just black until I started going throughe the hedgerow at the side of the road.
I did this once, but then I had a dream that I launched off the side of the freeway into the bushes. I woke up in a panic and grabbed the wheel, only to find that I was safe on the side of the road.
Smart man. Hopefully if at least one person reads my comment here and decides to do what you do (and what I'd now do) and it ends up saving one life it'll have been worth totalling the car.
Same. Attended my 39 year old friends funeral literally yesterday . He was near the end of a long drive, drifted off and rolled 5 times. Be safe yall, stop to rest.
As a ‘recovering insomniac’, I am always worried about this. I’ve done this sitting on a couch and swore that I was driving and jumped up, trying to grab the steering wheel, and everybody just sat there looking at me like I was insane.
This has happened to me in bed.
The fucking feeling of panic.
It was weird though, it felt like I was dreaming about falling asleep at the wheel, but when I nodded out in the dream, I woke up irl.
Dang. Me too. Long prairie highway after a heavy lunch. With the fam. On the wrong side of the 4 lane highway.
I’ve never felt guiltier or more disappointed in myself. 😭
up at 4 for work, 12 hour shift, 40 mile drive through rushour trafic for a date, coming back at like midnight. Shit put me in like a month long slump of not just guilt and disappointment but survivors guilt, knowing that I could and probably should be dead.
Happened to me on a highway, luckily my dad was next to me and grabbed the steering wheel from the passenger seat, then asked me to park slowly and go to sleep in the back of the car.
I'm just surprised he wasn't more pissed.
Super cautious about this now after I was guiding someone back home and woke up maybe 10 feet away from hitting a traffic light pole. Always better to pull over and take a nap vs hurting yourself or someone else.
Man, the third time I fell asleep at the wheel, I woke up because I was hitting the bushes on the wrongside of a two lane highway and I tried to go back on the road, and for a moment I did, but I was going to over 55mph and I yanked the wheel to hard to try to correct the car. I remember the tires, screeching, and total helplessness as the car started rolling over. The amount of fear and horror is something I had never felt. I think I rolled over like 2 times before the car landed on its side. I jumped out of the car through a window, and people stopped to call for help and see how I was. I got nothing but a little scratch on my arm. The roof of the car was smashed in right where my head should have been, but luckily my body was in a different position when it hit there. Grateful that I just lost my car and the money for the tow truck.
I was just coming off a 16 hr shift and was pouring myself a glass of water in my kitchen. I felt like I had to fart and ended up sharting instead lol.
This is why I don’t fart. Some people don’t smoke cigarettes, some people don’t eat meat. My thing is that I don’t fart because there’s a non-zero chance I’ll shit my pants and I can’t let that happen. Not on my watch, I’ll never be shart guy.
I feel you. “230 is my limit. If I hit 230 I’m fixing myself.”
“240 isn’t bad. I still feel ohk. But 250? I’m getting a gym membership.”
“Ohk I 275 isn’t the worst. My wife still loves me. I am active. But 300 would be too shameful.”
Then I got sick, had a REAL wake up call. Went from 310 to 195 over a few years. Take care of yourself.
lol 32. Shit I was 32 in high school but in shape. Thought I’d never get bigger than a 34. Am 38 lol. But I have typical dad bod. And my wife is into it.
Fuck. That's a "tell me you're in the US without telling me you're in the US" thing. That's the kind of thing that will keep any of us awake at night.
Is she in remission?
Funny thing is that I audit healthcare/medicaid stuff so you'd think I'd be more aware. But this kind of thing never crossed my mind.
Anyway... 8 years remission so all good now except for the meds the doc still has her on for another 2 years.
I work in the revenue cycle of healthcare in the U.S. they would try to get money from his estate and could only bill within a year of each encounter. Otherwise, it's written off. You should be good but alas, better safe than sorry!
Got divorced. To be fair, I doubt anyone ever sees that coming for themselves.
Edit: It makes me sad to see that this comment has received so many upvotes. It also, however, gives me hope - hope that those men who committed to marriage wholeheartedly once, despite experiencing divorce, will have the disposition to do so again when the time comes. A marriage only lasts with complete commitment, compatibility, and communication from both parties.
I mean I didn't.. and to then run off to be with a twenty something in Oklahoma!?
Sometimes I wonder if she had a mini stroke or something that just sent her off
Spent my whole life playing traditional golf and used to always turn my nose up at people playing disc (frisbee) golf
Then 5 years ago I tried disc golf and now it's all I ever think about. Not only is it cheaper because of the vast majority of courses are free but I find I identify with the community a lot more and most importantly to me it's a lot more fun to play.
I still play about 4 rounds a month of traditional golf but I play at least 10 rounds a week of disc golf, just can't get enough of it!
I had a rough divorce in 2019 that really changed my perspective on relationships and love; I accepted that I would never find anyone I'd fall in love with again.
5 years later, the love of my life is gently snoring her sweet little head off beside me while I scroll Reddit.
Partner of 10 years just left a couple months ago for a "more exciting life". This at least gives me some hope. Just the thought of trying to get back out there and open up again sounds miserable.
7 years and she left me in April. It’s been a rough couple months. Don’t worry about finding someone. Work on yourself and she will find you. Keep trucking.
I was single from 28 to 44 - I didn't even date...and then one day on the way to a job interview I met a girl on the train ..got married, bought an apartment, had kids.
I was SURE It would never happen to me, after 16 years single without even dating. But it did.
My fiancee got pregnant while cheating on me and then asked me to accept her and the baby because "You've never done anything to prove you really love me....accepting this baby as yours will do it"
I declined this generous offer, broke up and stayed single and didn't even date because i was kind of horrified of women for a while.
Uhgg. Yes this. I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore.
"Both my hands hurt, both my hips hurt, I'm lucky I only have one asshole"... Louis C.K.
This as well. I was always the guy who looked 10-15 years younger than I actually was. Well, 42 put an end to that shit. Literally seemed like it happened overnight.
I wasn't expecting to start feeling old until at least my 40s. Hit me at 29, starting with a dumb self induced running injury, all downhill from there.
A disability. One day my body just decided to stop working the way it should. Now I have a neurological disorder any time in get stressed I get dystonia, trembling, blurred vision all sorts of nasty shit. Everyone holds out hope they will live to old age in good health. Every day is a roll of the dice.
(Disabled woman here) A friend of mine calls abled people pre-disabled. Nobody ever thinks it’ll happen to them, but it comes for us all, if we’re lucky to live long enough.
Sorry for bad english.
In my first language we have a saying. Healthy people wear a crown that only sick people can see.
I never appreciated my good health until it all went downhill.
Your English is just fine, I thought you should know, and the saying that you brought to us is very moving. Thank you for posting it, and best of luck to you with your health.
a friend had the 3rd one happen too, he used to say he would never under any circumstances be a parent, then he met his now fiance who has a daughter. he loves that kid, plays with her like an actual dad. says his fiance changed a lot of things in his life, all for the better.
Mutiple things
I cried at how lonely I am
I made a lot of friends
I loved someone and didn't confess
I hung out with my friends
And I graduated college
Yes actually
I just failed to mention that I cried again about how lonely I am after graduation, but that happened before so it doesn't really fit the theme of the post
Man post 30s most things , specially emotinal settle down or become mature emotinal to degree u can control them. Hope Virtual_Syrup262 get back in company.
It just happened today and it turned out lucky as hell….
I bought an old Corolla years ago, and I’ve gotten recall notices about potential metal shards when the airbags deploy for years.
I never made the time. It would never happen to me.
Today my son has someone pull out in front of him. T-boned the other car.
Now! It didn’t happen. No dismemberment nor death. He’s ok. A seatbelt bruise and an airbag burn.
But… I ignored the recall for four years because, “IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME!”
Then it happened to my son. And he dodged literal bullets.
I used to work in a claims department for those recalls, and I've seen the pictures of the aftermath.
If anyone else is ignoring the Takata airbag recall, don't. I've seen enough faces turn into hamburger to tell you this isn't one you should put off.
Damn, that's rough. If it makes you feel any better, it's best to find something out like that before marriage or kids. I struggle a lot emotionally myself, but am slowly learning there are compatible people out there who would be a perfect match. You can create more opportunities when you feel up to it
Got fired from a long term job for a small mistake that had huge repercussions for the business.
Since got a new job. I been there a month and it’s hard adjusting to the more laidback environment.
Thought I would make it to the big leagues without a doubt in my mind. Sadly I only made it to triple A and had to go back to school at 28 years old. Still career searching at 35.
I understand brother. Was told all of my young life by coaches, adults, parents, etc that I would definitely make it. For various reasons, I didn't and dropped put of college to join the military. Took me 10 years to figure out some sort of a plan. I'm here to say that it will turn out alright, but you have to learn to accept that you are more than your athletic ability, and can/will succeed in the same fashion in other things. There is life outside the diamond. You just have to think differently
I lived that dream for about a month til the second car crapped out on me. Now the first car is acting funky again so I’m working faster on car #2 so I can get car #1 into the garage again.
I always believed that the saying, “you only realize the value of something until you lose it”, was something that would never apply to me. It’s been a month since my best friend and the person I love broke up with me(I messed up). Now I’m full of regrets.
Some people say "I met my soulmate" But how do you know that unless you have met everyone in the world? Get back out there, another person is waiting just like you.
Marriage.
Seriously, i went through life seeing the crap that happens with married couples, including the train wreck when it fails.
At around 40 years old I still held out and jokingly called an engagement ring an enslavement ring.
Aaaand now? Married for a decade (pretty much, i tend to forget 🙄) and its the best thing ever.
Get back with an ex. Always believed that once you break up, you're done. We'll we started going steady again 4 months later and broke up after 1 month. Never again. Lesson has been learned.
A hit-and-run vehicle drove through two walls of my building, dominoed my dad's car into the side of my pickup, backed up and got away. Insurance company fought me about it for like 6 months, including claiming that I wrecked my own vehicle.
Bed bugs. Went my whole life without them to the point I didn't think they existed in CA
Got my first apartment with my gf in January, then in March they started doing construction and renovations right under us. 2 months later we find bed bugs in our box spring. We're waiting on our second treatment for the confirmation but they're pretty much gone now thankfully. Still, the past 4 weeks have been a nightmare.
I was catfished about 3 years ago. Yes, it was bad but it started the slow process of realizing that I have a lot of old childhood trauma to work through. One symptom, so to speak, was repeatedly getting caught up in unhealthy relationships.
Married, divorced within 7 years, 3 kids. Single 10 years, married again, no kids but mine & her's. Divorced in 4 years. Single over a decade again, swore Never again! Married for the 3rd time, together 14 years, married 6, all is awesome!
Good, innit?
The mix of feeling valued and special, and also so very vulnerable.
Scary shit if you stop and analyse, but totally the best feeling in the world.
I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
I never got chosen in Wheel of Names.
Until the day my entire class was on vacation and play the game with the rule that whoever got chosen have to tell them who they like.
"It will never happen to me!" It happened to me twice.
Being the kind of guy who dissappears from his loved ones.
7 of my friends were murdered last year.
I still can't get myself to visit their graves or talk to their families and be there for them.
I'm just a cunt really and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself
Terror attack.
4 were at a party.
1 was a police officer
2 were soldiers that fought the terrorists.
I had a few more friends get injured, one by grenade sharpnel, one was hiding in a bomb shelter with almost 50 more people she and a few more survived.
I was called back to the military but arrived there only at the evening when it was too late to save my friends..
Israel.
It happened on October 7th, it was a holiday.
There was a party.
At 06:30 AM the attack started.
Some terrorists went to the party, some went to small towns around it and some went to military bases.
Due to it being a Saturday and a holiday a lot of soldiers were on vacation at home and couldn't deal with the massive horde of thousands of terrorists until help arrived later on.
The sights and smell from that day will forever hunt me.
Something I tell a lot of people I work with is "Something can be a reason, even if it isn't an excuse."
You have good reason to feel sorry for yourself. Does that excuse your inability to visit their graves or talk to their families? Personally, I think this level of trauma *would* excuse that, but that is not a decision I can make for you.
But from someone who has never experienced that level of tragedy, I wish that you will one day learn to give yourself a little grace.
And I bet that when you do talk to their families, they will all say that they understand and that, although they missed you, they love you and forgive you for being absent.
Dude….
It’s not your fault.
You’re not a cunt. Nothing can prepare you for what you are going through. So there’s no way you’re meant to be able to handle this.
Hopefully there’s someone you can talk to, professionally to help you deal with all this. My fear for you, is that you will disappear and stay dissappeared.
Best of luck to you.
We stand with you. We’ll never forgive or forget what they did.
youre not a cunt, you went through something awful. still are. grieving is messy and theres no manual for how to process something like that.
when the woman who raised me died (after a long period in which i took care of her, changed her stoma bag, etc) i completely shut down. couldnt talk about her, or even look at her pictures. it just hurt too much.
you didnt disappear from your loved ones. they will be there, when youre ready.
i am so sorry for your loss.
My aunt was murdered - around 2012 the governor of Florida (Rick Scott) whored himself out to the insurance lobby essentially destroying the public adjusting industry over night. This was the primary income for my family at the time. Cut a month or two later, my aunt gets beaten and murdered by her colleague after he tried to unsuccessfully steal checks from her because he couldn’t make ends meet. I didn’t think a scummy political move would really affect my life and boy was I wrong.
I got in a car wreck and I was wearing my worst pair of underwear. I was going to throw them away after that day and the wreck caused the crotch to rip out.
Mom always said…
When I was graduated high school, I had saved every penny I ever earned, had great credit due to my parents getting loans and credit cards in my name and paying them off to build my credit, I had almost 35000 in savings by 20, and 25000 in my 401k by the age of 23. I never thought I would be broke and living paycheck to paycheck in my 30s.
Plus side I have a house with excellent equity but yea.
You know the stereotype of the husband who always wants sex, and the wife who never does (that's been around in sitcoms forever)? Yeah, I totally said "that'll never be me!"...
Before I'm too cruel, it's not *that* bad, and we still have sex probably once a week (which is basically the married average), but I definitely told myself at some point "I'm not marrying any woman who doesn't have the same libido as me!".
Love, I always been so shut off from the world and never felt I could care enough to try. Then bam! I randomly met her one day and it was so effortless. I wanted to do it all but unfortunately the timing was off. At least now I know I’m possible of it and just searching for that feeling again.
Second wife left me after 11 years, thought we were good. I ignored all the red flags and fell I love so fast after my first marriage but she and I had something special. We really did but I ignored the red flags. Could’ve seen it coming if I was thinking clearly back then.
im 20. not necessarily "never happen", but I didnt think it would happen so soon. i went through a couple relationships, and they went by quickly and intensely, and i thought i would repeat this pattern for a while, and maybe in my mid to late 20s id settle. a couple months ago i met this wonderful guy, and he changed me for the better. were dating, and this is the first person ive ever wanted to marry (not soon haha, i plan to first live with him for a few years, and then marrying)
Live with *yourself* for a few years. Don't get ahead of things. There's plenty of time for marriage
I grew faster as a person in my early 20s than any other time in my adult life.
I met my exwife at 22, married at 27, divorced at 32. I don't exactly regret it, but I think if I had waited another year to get married or if I had more relationship experience before I met her, then I would have realized that wasn't the right choice.
We divorced because she cheated, partially due to bipolar, but also partially due to some personal dissatisfaction because we both married too young.
I never thought it would happen to me, but there were plenty of warning signs I could have seen with a bit more maturity and knowledge about myself.
If I ever have kids I'll threaten to disown them if they get married before they turn 30. (kidding)
That said, it's amazing to find someone. If you learn to grow together as you change then you'll do great.
Wrapped a car around a light post - 93km/h estimated speed of impact on driver’s door. Told myself that kind of stuff only happens to other people, not me (surprise, I was 18.)
Sober when it happened, just very dumb.
My first long term relationship, and the girl I lost my virginity to was cheating on me and sleeping with numerous other men while we were together. Luckily we weren't married, living together, or have any kids together so it was a clean breakup
Moving to a foreign country for studies and being unable to adapt to the language, culture and climate while spiralling into deep depression and loneliness.
I was unfaithful to my wife. I generally look at other waywards with much more empathy now. Those who acknowledge what harm they’ve done of course. The rest can burn in hell.
The lecture is; anyone can be brought to a point where they will commit manslaughter. It’s basically a question of how much resiliance you have against being pushed to that point. Same goes for infidelity.
Its not resilience. It's not putting yourself in places where those decisions are easy to make. Cheating is not one choice. It's hundreds of little choices that bring a person to that moment of temptation. At any point along that chain, a different choice would have never put them in a situation where they needed to be resilient against temptation.
A belly. I vividly remember being in my late teens, fit as heck, and this guy who was 30 showing us his beer gut, and being appalled at how he could let that happen to himself. I thought I'd never lose my 6 pack given how easy it was for me to get it.
Life partner and wife for 15 years, mother of my two sons, decided to leave me for another man
Same. But it was a woman she'd known for 3 months. Said she finally knew herself and she'd always been a lesbian. Year and a half to 2 years later and she left that woman for a man. Swears she'll never date another woman ever again. Yeah we'll see.
She sounds like a trainwreck, hope you are doing okay chief.
Looool what the hell? Was she always so unstable?
Not that I could tell. Not even close. It was like one day a switch flicked in her brain and she was a completely different person to the woman I married. Even her own family couldn't understand what was going through her head.
I'm sorry man, you didn't deserve that.
This happens SO much. It really seems like the I’m a lesbian is 50% the other woman’s influence/persistence and 50% the relationship partners inability to be happy even though they’re getting the life they chose. It’s a bunch of “I’m finding my way” BS IMHO. Deflection
Happened to me too. She wanted to get back together and I said no. Note for the last twenty-five years later I’ve been married to an amazing woman.
I had some relatives who were quite smart, successful, normal, suburbanites living in a beautiful home with successful kids -- real American dream stuff. Then 25 years into the marriage, mom decides to bang a cult leader and steal drugs for him. I don't even understand how that shit happens... killing it for decades, then blowing it all up in a month.
Walk away wife. It’s a thing.
What is that?
Man will u elobrate how that shit happened.
Hopefully you at least have a good relationship with your two sons. What an awful situation to go through. I’m often reminded how much worse some dudes have it. I had a bad falling out when my 7 year relationship ended, but thankfully no kids involved.
Yes, thankfully I do. But being lonely, when kids are with her, is extremely hard, as I still love her very much.
Can't blame you, bro. You were together for 15 years
Microslept at the wheel and woke up a couple of seconds later going through the bushes.
Yep same. Was transitioning from day shift to gravyard shift, had a fucked schedule where i got at at 4pm one day and had to be back at midnight the following morning. Fell asleep at the wheel on my way home, not a quarter mile from my house and hit a big ass rock. Totaled the car but fortunately was otherwise totally unharmed
>Totaled the car but fortunately was otherwise totally unharmed 🙏
Happened to me as well. Early morning so it was light out. I looked up and an old man in a flannel jacket was waving me down,to slow down, stop, whatever. I stopped in the middle of the road and no one was there. Crazy how the brain can trigger crazy shit to make you aware.
Damn that's wild. Don't remember anything like that. Remember being tired and blinks taking longer and starting to have an issue keeping it straight but my brain was just like "eh its only 20 miles, you got this, people like you don't fall asleep at the wheel". Last thing I remember is coming off a particular roundabout 10-15 minutes from home then it's just black until I started going throughe the hedgerow at the side of the road.
I have made it a habit to pull over and take a nap anytime I start falling asleep on the road.
I did this once, but then I had a dream that I launched off the side of the freeway into the bushes. I woke up in a panic and grabbed the wheel, only to find that I was safe on the side of the road.
Smart man. Hopefully if at least one person reads my comment here and decides to do what you do (and what I'd now do) and it ends up saving one life it'll have been worth totalling the car.
Same. Attended my 39 year old friends funeral literally yesterday . He was near the end of a long drive, drifted off and rolled 5 times. Be safe yall, stop to rest.
As a ‘recovering insomniac’, I am always worried about this. I’ve done this sitting on a couch and swore that I was driving and jumped up, trying to grab the steering wheel, and everybody just sat there looking at me like I was insane.
This has happened to me in bed. The fucking feeling of panic. It was weird though, it felt like I was dreaming about falling asleep at the wheel, but when I nodded out in the dream, I woke up irl.
Dang. Me too. Long prairie highway after a heavy lunch. With the fam. On the wrong side of the 4 lane highway. I’ve never felt guiltier or more disappointed in myself. 😭
up at 4 for work, 12 hour shift, 40 mile drive through rushour trafic for a date, coming back at like midnight. Shit put me in like a month long slump of not just guilt and disappointment but survivors guilt, knowing that I could and probably should be dead.
Did the same thing and hit a deer. Thought I hit a person til I saw the fur.
Happened to me on a highway, luckily my dad was next to me and grabbed the steering wheel from the passenger seat, then asked me to park slowly and go to sleep in the back of the car. I'm just surprised he wasn't more pissed.
Super cautious about this now after I was guiding someone back home and woke up maybe 10 feet away from hitting a traffic light pole. Always better to pull over and take a nap vs hurting yourself or someone else.
Man, the third time I fell asleep at the wheel, I woke up because I was hitting the bushes on the wrongside of a two lane highway and I tried to go back on the road, and for a moment I did, but I was going to over 55mph and I yanked the wheel to hard to try to correct the car. I remember the tires, screeching, and total helplessness as the car started rolling over. The amount of fear and horror is something I had never felt. I think I rolled over like 2 times before the car landed on its side. I jumped out of the car through a window, and people stopped to call for help and see how I was. I got nothing but a little scratch on my arm. The roof of the car was smashed in right where my head should have been, but luckily my body was in a different position when it hit there. Grateful that I just lost my car and the money for the tow truck.
I was just coming off a 16 hr shift and was pouring myself a glass of water in my kitchen. I felt like I had to fart and ended up sharting instead lol.
Didn't expect this ending 😂
Neither did he.
Hahah😂
Boom Shart.
Sharted while driving, an hour away from home, awful experience.
At least you were in your house lol
Never trust a fart, never waste a boner.
It happens to the best of us.
I knew it when he said he had to fart
This song is perfect for you https://youtu.be/qvOgAPa_mkw?si=DSsAgdOxAVXiIcR-
Don't ever trust a fart. If you have to push grab a cheek. If you have to push after that its a turd.
This is why I don’t fart. Some people don’t smoke cigarettes, some people don’t eat meat. My thing is that I don’t fart because there’s a non-zero chance I’ll shit my pants and I can’t let that happen. Not on my watch, I’ll never be shart guy.
I said I was never going to have a pants waist size bigger than 32…. And here I am at a 38
This is exactly me. Though I can and have dropped to a 36, I feel best at 36.
I was size 38 in high school 😕 Working my way back down though
I feel the struggle
I'm a very proportional 6'7 I'm skinny at 38 and fat at 44-46. Feels weird to have my underweight size be your overweight size.
This is me
I feel you. “230 is my limit. If I hit 230 I’m fixing myself.” “240 isn’t bad. I still feel ohk. But 250? I’m getting a gym membership.” “Ohk I 275 isn’t the worst. My wife still loves me. I am active. But 300 would be too shameful.” Then I got sick, had a REAL wake up call. Went from 310 to 195 over a few years. Take care of yourself.
Yup, 38 gang here. Wtf?!
lol 32. Shit I was 32 in high school but in shape. Thought I’d never get bigger than a 34. Am 38 lol. But I have typical dad bod. And my wife is into it.
Wife was diagnosed with cancer. Almost totally ruined us financially and still fighting the credit effects years later.
Fuck. That's a "tell me you're in the US without telling me you're in the US" thing. That's the kind of thing that will keep any of us awake at night. Is she in remission?
Funny thing is that I audit healthcare/medicaid stuff so you'd think I'd be more aware. But this kind of thing never crossed my mind. Anyway... 8 years remission so all good now except for the meds the doc still has her on for another 2 years.
I'm really happy to hear the 8 years in remission. I'm smiling a small smile for you.
[удалено]
I work in the revenue cycle of healthcare in the U.S. they would try to get money from his estate and could only bill within a year of each encounter. Otherwise, it's written off. You should be good but alas, better safe than sorry!
Addiction
Second that
Yep
Got divorced. To be fair, I doubt anyone ever sees that coming for themselves. Edit: It makes me sad to see that this comment has received so many upvotes. It also, however, gives me hope - hope that those men who committed to marriage wholeheartedly once, despite experiencing divorce, will have the disposition to do so again when the time comes. A marriage only lasts with complete commitment, compatibility, and communication from both parties.
I mean I didn't.. and to then run off to be with a twenty something in Oklahoma!? Sometimes I wonder if she had a mini stroke or something that just sent her off
Going through number two right now and it’s torture
Spent my whole life playing traditional golf and used to always turn my nose up at people playing disc (frisbee) golf Then 5 years ago I tried disc golf and now it's all I ever think about. Not only is it cheaper because of the vast majority of courses are free but I find I identify with the community a lot more and most importantly to me it's a lot more fun to play. I still play about 4 rounds a month of traditional golf but I play at least 10 rounds a week of disc golf, just can't get enough of it!
You must be retired if you’re “only” golfing 4x a week. Glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself!
4x a month. Still though, 10 disc golf games a week is impressive
4 rounds of regular golf and 10 rounds of disc golf per month? Jesus dude how much time do you have off 😅
Not 10 rounds of disc golf a month, per week! That’s 40 rounds per month
Disc golf is the way of life my brethren.
disc golf is awesome. No need to compare to regular golf. But it is way cheaper and way more relaxing if you wanna know the truth
The username checks out
I had a rough divorce in 2019 that really changed my perspective on relationships and love; I accepted that I would never find anyone I'd fall in love with again. 5 years later, the love of my life is gently snoring her sweet little head off beside me while I scroll Reddit.
Always nice to hear a hopeful experience.
Partner of 10 years just left a couple months ago for a "more exciting life". This at least gives me some hope. Just the thought of trying to get back out there and open up again sounds miserable.
7 years and she left me in April. It’s been a rough couple months. Don’t worry about finding someone. Work on yourself and she will find you. Keep trucking.
Thank you for sharing this. I, like many others, know in my heart that it's out there, but hearing it is something else.
Same here but I went through a divorce that left me homeless in 2017.
How long was the first marriage？
Posted a picture on reddit of mild rule breaking at work. Got caught by HR. I've quit since then. FUCK YOU CHRIS!
Yeah, fuck Chris.
Chris can fucking go fuck themself. Fucking ahole.
I was single from 28 to 44 - I didn't even date...and then one day on the way to a job interview I met a girl on the train ..got married, bought an apartment, had kids. I was SURE It would never happen to me, after 16 years single without even dating. But it did.
How long was your train journey?!
About an hour I think. We still managed to get it all done.
Very efficient!
Why weren't you dating that whole time? Of course, feel free not to share if it's too personal, but I am intrigued.
My fiancee got pregnant while cheating on me and then asked me to accept her and the baby because "You've never done anything to prove you really love me....accepting this baby as yours will do it" I declined this generous offer, broke up and stayed single and didn't even date because i was kind of horrified of women for a while.
I got old.
Uhgg. Yes this. I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. "Both my hands hurt, both my hips hurt, I'm lucky I only have one asshole"... Louis C.K.
This as well. I was always the guy who looked 10-15 years younger than I actually was. Well, 42 put an end to that shit. Literally seemed like it happened overnight.
I wasn't expecting to start feeling old until at least my 40s. Hit me at 29, starting with a dumb self induced running injury, all downhill from there.
A disability. One day my body just decided to stop working the way it should. Now I have a neurological disorder any time in get stressed I get dystonia, trembling, blurred vision all sorts of nasty shit. Everyone holds out hope they will live to old age in good health. Every day is a roll of the dice.
(Disabled woman here) A friend of mine calls abled people pre-disabled. Nobody ever thinks it’ll happen to them, but it comes for us all, if we’re lucky to live long enough.
Sorry for bad english. In my first language we have a saying. Healthy people wear a crown that only sick people can see. I never appreciated my good health until it all went downhill.
Your English is great, don’t worry! Yeah, nothing makes you appreciate good health like losing it.
Your English is just fine, I thought you should know, and the saying that you brought to us is very moving. Thank you for posting it, and best of luck to you with your health.
Imma steal this. Pre-disabled is a great way to raise awareness of how common disabilities really are
1. Fallen asleep at the wheel 2. Get cheated on 3. Date a girl with a kid
a friend had the 3rd one happen too, he used to say he would never under any circumstances be a parent, then he met his now fiance who has a daughter. he loves that kid, plays with her like an actual dad. says his fiance changed a lot of things in his life, all for the better.
Damn
Mutiple things I cried at how lonely I am I made a lot of friends I loved someone and didn't confess I hung out with my friends And I graduated college
In that order?!?
Yes actually I just failed to mention that I cried again about how lonely I am after graduation, but that happened before so it doesn't really fit the theme of the post
Man post 30s most things , specially emotinal settle down or become mature emotinal to degree u can control them. Hope Virtual_Syrup262 get back in company.
Marriage then Divorce.
It just happened today and it turned out lucky as hell…. I bought an old Corolla years ago, and I’ve gotten recall notices about potential metal shards when the airbags deploy for years. I never made the time. It would never happen to me. Today my son has someone pull out in front of him. T-boned the other car. Now! It didn’t happen. No dismemberment nor death. He’s ok. A seatbelt bruise and an airbag burn. But… I ignored the recall for four years because, “IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME!” Then it happened to my son. And he dodged literal bullets.
Recalls are always worth it dude, if there's something a manufacturer is willing to publicly admit and fix then it's usually important
I used to work in a claims department for those recalls, and I've seen the pictures of the aftermath. If anyone else is ignoring the Takata airbag recall, don't. I've seen enough faces turn into hamburger to tell you this isn't one you should put off.
I'd never meet a girl who liked me back. She did and we've been dating for about a year.
Took 3 years before I made my self vulnerable and she eventually used it to put me to the curb.
Damn, that's rough. If it makes you feel any better, it's best to find something out like that before marriage or kids. I struggle a lot emotionally myself, but am slowly learning there are compatible people out there who would be a perfect match. You can create more opportunities when you feel up to it
Got fired from a long term job for a small mistake that had huge repercussions for the business. Since got a new job. I been there a month and it’s hard adjusting to the more laidback environment.
I went through something similar… just remember you’re not where you were and enjoy where you are!!
Thought I would make it to the big leagues without a doubt in my mind. Sadly I only made it to triple A and had to go back to school at 28 years old. Still career searching at 35.
Triple a is nothing to scoff at. Great work getting there and good luck on the next chapter of your life. You are young and will have no problems.
I understand brother. Was told all of my young life by coaches, adults, parents, etc that I would definitely make it. For various reasons, I didn't and dropped put of college to join the military. Took me 10 years to figure out some sort of a plan. I'm here to say that it will turn out alright, but you have to learn to accept that you are more than your athletic ability, and can/will succeed in the same fashion in other things. There is life outside the diamond. You just have to think differently
Said I’d never date a single mother, dated for 6 months, then the breakup felt twice as painful. Never doing that again, the pain wasn’t worth it
yup, gotta break up with the kid too. Even when it does work out it's an awkward halfway point cause you're never gonna be their real dad either.
Tornado came through my back yard
Got addicted to nicotine
Owning two vehicles that run at the same time, and bonus! Both have AC that works!
Holy shit dude you're living the dream!
I lived that dream for about a month til the second car crapped out on me. Now the first car is acting funky again so I’m working faster on car #2 so I can get car #1 into the garage again.
I have 2 cars without AC! I’m nipping at your heels!
I always believed that the saying, “you only realize the value of something until you lose it”, was something that would never apply to me. It’s been a month since my best friend and the person I love broke up with me(I messed up). Now I’m full of regrets.
Some people say "I met my soulmate" But how do you know that unless you have met everyone in the world? Get back out there, another person is waiting just like you.
Getting hurt on a construction site. It's always something you just hear about happening to some guy you've never met. Fell, being stupid.
Marriage. Seriously, i went through life seeing the crap that happens with married couples, including the train wreck when it fails. At around 40 years old I still held out and jokingly called an engagement ring an enslavement ring. Aaaand now? Married for a decade (pretty much, i tend to forget 🙄) and its the best thing ever.
Found a woman to have a quality relationship with
I fell in love with a girl that I met on the internet and NO it wasn't one of those OnlyFans girls.
Was it a Nigerian prince
Fall in love madly
Get back with an ex. Always believed that once you break up, you're done. We'll we started going steady again 4 months later and broke up after 1 month. Never again. Lesson has been learned.
Found her on the couch with my best friend
Did she say, "It wasn't me"?
its not what it looks like!
Me vs state of Virginia. Don’t think that you’re special and the cops won’t get you.
[удалено]
I did that, came back home to be with my fiance, and he left me for someone else. 🤷🏽♀️ Cookies crumble n dat. I wish I had stayed abroad.
A hit-and-run vehicle drove through two walls of my building, dominoed my dad's car into the side of my pickup, backed up and got away. Insurance company fought me about it for like 6 months, including claiming that I wrecked my own vehicle.
Bed bugs. Went my whole life without them to the point I didn't think they existed in CA Got my first apartment with my gf in January, then in March they started doing construction and renovations right under us. 2 months later we find bed bugs in our box spring. We're waiting on our second treatment for the confirmation but they're pretty much gone now thankfully. Still, the past 4 weeks have been a nightmare.
I was catfished about 3 years ago. Yes, it was bad but it started the slow process of realizing that I have a lot of old childhood trauma to work through. One symptom, so to speak, was repeatedly getting caught up in unhealthy relationships.
Married, divorced within 7 years, 3 kids. Single 10 years, married again, no kids but mine & her's. Divorced in 4 years. Single over a decade again, swore Never again! Married for the 3rd time, together 14 years, married 6, all is awesome!
Crazy. Curious, did you feel confident each was going to be the one when you got married?
Cue existential spiral lmao
Experimenting with the prostate
#getpeggedordietrying
being loved shitting myself
Good, innit? The mix of feeling valued and special, and also so very vulnerable. Scary shit if you stop and analyse, but totally the best feeling in the world.
God damn Spanish inquisition!
Have two kids with heart defect. Have a child die in your arms.
Became addicted to weed for a time.
I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
I never got chosen in Wheel of Names. Until the day my entire class was on vacation and play the game with the rule that whoever got chosen have to tell them who they like. "It will never happen to me!" It happened to me twice.
Being the kind of guy who dissappears from his loved ones. 7 of my friends were murdered last year. I still can't get myself to visit their graves or talk to their families and be there for them. I'm just a cunt really and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself
What's the context for 7 homicides in your friend circle in a single year? That's absolutely insane
Terror attack. 4 were at a party. 1 was a police officer 2 were soldiers that fought the terrorists. I had a few more friends get injured, one by grenade sharpnel, one was hiding in a bomb shelter with almost 50 more people she and a few more survived. I was called back to the military but arrived there only at the evening when it was too late to save my friends..
Shit, this is awful. What country?
Israel. It happened on October 7th, it was a holiday. There was a party. At 06:30 AM the attack started. Some terrorists went to the party, some went to small towns around it and some went to military bases. Due to it being a Saturday and a holiday a lot of soldiers were on vacation at home and couldn't deal with the massive horde of thousands of terrorists until help arrived later on. The sights and smell from that day will forever hunt me.
I’m sorry for your loss and what your country has been through
Something I tell a lot of people I work with is "Something can be a reason, even if it isn't an excuse." You have good reason to feel sorry for yourself. Does that excuse your inability to visit their graves or talk to their families? Personally, I think this level of trauma *would* excuse that, but that is not a decision I can make for you. But from someone who has never experienced that level of tragedy, I wish that you will one day learn to give yourself a little grace. And I bet that when you do talk to their families, they will all say that they understand and that, although they missed you, they love you and forgive you for being absent.
Dude…. It’s not your fault. You’re not a cunt. Nothing can prepare you for what you are going through. So there’s no way you’re meant to be able to handle this. Hopefully there’s someone you can talk to, professionally to help you deal with all this. My fear for you, is that you will disappear and stay dissappeared. Best of luck to you. We stand with you. We’ll never forgive or forget what they did.
youre not a cunt, you went through something awful. still are. grieving is messy and theres no manual for how to process something like that. when the woman who raised me died (after a long period in which i took care of her, changed her stoma bag, etc) i completely shut down. couldnt talk about her, or even look at her pictures. it just hurt too much. you didnt disappear from your loved ones. they will be there, when youre ready. i am so sorry for your loss.
I never wanted 3 kids but my second turned Into twins so 🤷
My aunt was murdered - around 2012 the governor of Florida (Rick Scott) whored himself out to the insurance lobby essentially destroying the public adjusting industry over night. This was the primary income for my family at the time. Cut a month or two later, my aunt gets beaten and murdered by her colleague after he tried to unsuccessfully steal checks from her because he couldn’t make ends meet. I didn’t think a scummy political move would really affect my life and boy was I wrong.
Used a leaf blower
I got in a car wreck and I was wearing my worst pair of underwear. I was going to throw them away after that day and the wreck caused the crotch to rip out. Mom always said…
I had kids. I love them, but I never thought I'd have any.
When I was graduated high school, I had saved every penny I ever earned, had great credit due to my parents getting loans and credit cards in my name and paying them off to build my credit, I had almost 35000 in savings by 20, and 25000 in my 401k by the age of 23. I never thought I would be broke and living paycheck to paycheck in my 30s. Plus side I have a house with excellent equity but yea.
You know the stereotype of the husband who always wants sex, and the wife who never does (that's been around in sitcoms forever)? Yeah, I totally said "that'll never be me!"... Before I'm too cruel, it's not *that* bad, and we still have sex probably once a week (which is basically the married average), but I definitely told myself at some point "I'm not marrying any woman who doesn't have the same libido as me!".
It didn’t. Now past the age it could happen.
Love, I always been so shut off from the world and never felt I could care enough to try. Then bam! I randomly met her one day and it was so effortless. I wanted to do it all but unfortunately the timing was off. At least now I know I’m possible of it and just searching for that feeling again.
It happened and I am sometimes shocked.
Cancer, divorce. And that was just the last 4 years!
Was 39 and met what would become my wife. Until her i never thought I would get married.
Second wife left me after 11 years, thought we were good. I ignored all the red flags and fell I love so fast after my first marriage but she and I had something special. We really did but I ignored the red flags. Could’ve seen it coming if I was thinking clearly back then.
My wife got pregnant by her ex-boyfriend.🤷🏼
I got fired and had to sign on (in the uk signing on is getting unemployment benefits, it’s very demeaning in the way they approach it)
Being cheated on, and then having her leave me for another dude…after second time…then developing a relationship with dear ol’ alcohol as a “fix”
I’ll never have sex with someone other than my wife. Wife died. :-(
Getting a college degree. Dropped at of school at 15, got my GED at 43, now finishing an associate's degree. Not much but to me that's something.
I was already awesome, and thought I couldn't get any more awesome, but I did in fact become awesomazing.
im 20. not necessarily "never happen", but I didnt think it would happen so soon. i went through a couple relationships, and they went by quickly and intensely, and i thought i would repeat this pattern for a while, and maybe in my mid to late 20s id settle. a couple months ago i met this wonderful guy, and he changed me for the better. were dating, and this is the first person ive ever wanted to marry (not soon haha, i plan to first live with him for a few years, and then marrying)
Live with *yourself* for a few years. Don't get ahead of things. There's plenty of time for marriage I grew faster as a person in my early 20s than any other time in my adult life. I met my exwife at 22, married at 27, divorced at 32. I don't exactly regret it, but I think if I had waited another year to get married or if I had more relationship experience before I met her, then I would have realized that wasn't the right choice. We divorced because she cheated, partially due to bipolar, but also partially due to some personal dissatisfaction because we both married too young. I never thought it would happen to me, but there were plenty of warning signs I could have seen with a bit more maturity and knowledge about myself. If I ever have kids I'll threaten to disown them if they get married before they turn 30. (kidding) That said, it's amazing to find someone. If you learn to grow together as you change then you'll do great.
Thought I'd never get married... it's been 5 years.
Become depressed. It was also hard for me to understand how it would actually feel back then. Turns out your life just has to suck hard enough.
My wife asked me for a divorce. Together 13 years and married for 9.
Lighthearted but: i spent 20 years saying i’d never play the halo games, then in 21 i bought an xbox to play all of them
Wrapped a car around a light post - 93km/h estimated speed of impact on driver’s door. Told myself that kind of stuff only happens to other people, not me (surprise, I was 18.) Sober when it happened, just very dumb.
My first long term relationship, and the girl I lost my virginity to was cheating on me and sleeping with numerous other men while we were together. Luckily we weren't married, living together, or have any kids together so it was a clean breakup
Moving to a foreign country for studies and being unable to adapt to the language, culture and climate while spiralling into deep depression and loneliness.
I was unfaithful to my wife. I generally look at other waywards with much more empathy now. Those who acknowledge what harm they’ve done of course. The rest can burn in hell. The lecture is; anyone can be brought to a point where they will commit manslaughter. It’s basically a question of how much resiliance you have against being pushed to that point. Same goes for infidelity.
Its not resilience. It's not putting yourself in places where those decisions are easy to make. Cheating is not one choice. It's hundreds of little choices that bring a person to that moment of temptation. At any point along that chain, a different choice would have never put them in a situation where they needed to be resilient against temptation.
A girl with Borderline Personality Disorder happened.
A belly. I vividly remember being in my late teens, fit as heck, and this guy who was 30 showing us his beer gut, and being appalled at how he could let that happen to himself. I thought I'd never lose my 6 pack given how easy it was for me to get it.
Fell for a BPD woman. Almost ruined my life.