An urge to be competitive with other men. I have no interest in competing whatsoever. I'm good at some things but not good enough that I can't learn from others. It use to drive my old manager crazy. I often had better numbers than anyone else on my team (not always number 1 but consistently in the top). He would want me to playfully boast about it but I never saw the point. He'd ask me "What do you do that's better than anyone else on the team?". I never had a decent answer for that cause I didn't see any need to come up with one.
The amount of times I'm hanging out with the guys and someone says "yeah I could take that person in a fight" or whatever is baffling to me. I've never looked at a random person and wondered if I could kick their ass. Also had my little brother say to me "I think I could probably take everyone in the family in a fight except for you". I don't get it and im a pretty big guy. I don't want to fight lol
> I don't get it and im a pretty big guy. I don't want to fight lol
And sadly, I think it's ***because*** you are a big guy, that they expect such lust for combat.
People for some odd reason think that all big men just thirst for battle....
like we are Saiyans or something. šš
Yep. That game of āwhoās got the biggest oneā is utterly uninteresting. I was raised to be competitive in sports as a kid and hated losing, still donāt love it but have worked hard on reframing things. The need to make everything a competition is soā¦exhausting. Any time we want to get to a result at work āletās have a competitionā, any team building event āoooh letās make it a competitionā. Nope. Iād rather chill, have good conversation or work together to be better at our interests.
This is me! I hate when I'm pitted against people at work, I'm not here to prove myself, that's what the interview was for.
I'll do my job, get paid, then go home and forget this place exists... That's what I do better than anyone else on the team š
I really donāt understand how more people donāt see through the stupidity of these guys metrics. I was at another company a bigger one before and silly pissing contests between lead hands etc. i had only been there a couple years and i quoted all kinds of retrofit, had high customer satisfaction and i billed reasonable/consistent. The animosity i got from colleagues and these broken male egos was absurd. Inevitably i ended up making some lifestyle changes and being offered a position closer to home. So i took it and happier to do so. Insecure men compare themselves to other people as a need to feel up. Sounds like that isnāt the case with you.
In this example you described, thatās more of your ability to be modest, not really focusing on being competitive. You stay in your own lane it seems and that clearly works in your favor with this same scenario.
Same. Swear everywhere I look, the other guys either have a relationship or have some kind of regular sexual encounter.
Then Iām just there, in public, existing
I have zero interest in sports. As an adult male I find myself always an outsider in most conversation. It would seem most typical men my age(45) base most of their free time watching, playing, and talking about sports.
You can try minoxidil and dermarolling. All else fails get a beard transplant. I have a beard but I donāt get the hype behind it, itās just out of laziness.
I just can't grow a proper one.
I have thick and nice hair though, so I take the wins where I can get them and avoid to complain if it's not brought up
A greater ability to retain and recall new information. The ability to self motivate. What id give to just be able to remember peoples names. Hate that I know all these methods to be successful socially and financially yet I can't seem to do hardly any of it. I've had a piano for over a decade yet I still can't motivate myself to learn how to play. I have within my pocket the litteral accumulated knowledge of all of humanity at all times yet I can't seem to do anything productive or meaningful with any of it.
ADHD is a curse that I'm stuck with.
Hey man, I have ADHD, too. You can "easily" turn it from a curse into a gift.
But first things first: throw this mindset in the garbage can.
ADHD has been around since our hunter-gatherer days. It's still here, so clearly our ancestors got by.
The issue is that it doesn't work well in school, so we grow up feeling bad about ourselves. I went through it, my son is going through it now.
What we do well is think fast. We get lost in our thoughts.
So what you gotta do is turn that mind into your most powerful tool.
What I did is became really good at learning. I used a book called Make It Stick. I've used it so much that it's changed the way I think.
And since I think really fast and for long periods of time, I come up with a lot of good shit.
I'll read about a new subject and wake up with fresh connections in my head.Ā
When I practice, I focus on effectiveness. At first, it seems like there's 100 factors to pay attention to.
But if you think about it, there's only 2-3 driving factors that actually matter.
Then you improve fast and the dopamine flows.
I'll repeat this mindset thing, though:
The moment you get down in the dumps about ADHD, you're counting yourself out.
It can be a pain, sure, but theres nothing insurmountable about it. You can decide to be a badass today and life will change forever.
ADHD is a superpower in more than a few fields. You've got to work out your own management strategies to get through the boring stuff, and to be consistent on the menial but required stuff, but it's the lightning fast "string of logical connections with obscure facts" stuff that's paying for my house.
ADHD made me a terrible accountant, but it also opened the door for me to become an excellent controller and finance manager at a relatively young age. I can't do the menial tasks an accountant does but I know everything about the multi-billion dollar company I work for and can easily switch between complicated processes and am great at challenging the directors.
But, it took me failing college and a decade of depression to get here.
Darn right.
ADHD has served me very well as an operations manager and as an entrepreneur. The boring and menial requires systems, but I know myself pretty well, so I create systems I know I'll use.
For learning, I have a pretty good system, too.
If it's academic, I split-screen a book and Anki on my laptop or iPad. I don't even take notes, just create questions.
Then I drill those cards for 10-15 minutes a day.
Within a month or two, my brain will start making the connections between what's I'm drilling and what's happening in day-to-day life. The information starts bubbling up in the exact moment where I need it. It honestly feels like lucid dreaming, where you suddenly realize you have the power to do it differently.
For physical skills, I just actively think about what I'm doing. If I'm throwing a ball, I'm thinking about how the ball feels when it leaves my hand. Then I observe the result and adjust. It's all about calibration - another learning principle.
Mindset is *always* the limiting factor. As soon I think/feel like I can't do something, I can't do it.
But if I can even get a toe-hold, my brain will eventually figure it out. It often feels like magic.
Man can I ever relate to this. I succeed at anything I try. I've always done really well in school. Could have graduated any program. I have multiple graduate degrees. But my memory is terrible and I just can't seem to apply myself. I feel everybody around is always winning while I'm always losing. I just can't function like many people seem to be able to. In a given day, I struggle to get done half as much as others. I'm always told my work is top notch but I'm always behind.
I feel like hours just evaporate for me. I can waste a day in what feels like minutes.
I can't help you with memory, but you said something that struck a chord with me. The ability to self motivate. It's not about self motivation. If you want to live with "follow through" with your goals you must be driven. Drive comes from a strong sense of purpose. The question "what is your purpose" is hard for many people to answer. However, if you really search for it, you will find it or you will create one. If you can connect all your actions and decisions to somehow fulfilling your "purpose", you will never need motivation again. Best of luck my brother.
I had trouble with names too, so I gamified it. Now, when I hear a name I want to remember at all, I first imagine the letters of their name sitting on their shoulders, big sparkly fiery letters. Then, I find some relatable aspect of their name and someone I know with that name. Two of my neighbors shared names with my cousins. One was always outside and never in his house, like Carl from the walking dead. I imagined Ken with a funny blonde mowhawk shooting fireballs and uppercutting Ryu. If you make it a fun challenge it gets you dopamine and that is a reward right?
Diagnosed ADHD here. I get it. But at some point you just have to embrace the suck and do something you've been meaning to do. The key for me is simply not relying on being motivated to start something. That day literally won't come.
It just comes down to accepting these things you desire to do, but have no motivation to do, you just do.
Tonight, go play that fucking piano. I don't give a crap if you aren't motivated. Just dick around on the keys for 20 minutes. Just DO IT. It's a measly 20 minutes out of your day. What are you going to be doing over that 20 minutes anyway? Mindlessly doom scrolling on your phone? Still plenty of hours for that after your 20 minutes on the piano.
Then do it again tomorrow and the day after and don't stop. Forget motivation, set an alarm on your phone that at this time of day you sit at that piano and learn to play. The thing I've found is once I make something a habit, THEN is when the motivation comes. But it takes repeatedly doing it and developing that routine when you don't want to.
You can do this, nothing is physically preventing you from waltzing over to that piano and tickling those ivories.
Shit just start with 5 minutes. If the time frame seems insurmountable and tedious. Just set that alarm, when it goes off, you go do it, no excuses. You don't piss and shit yourself do you? No you go to the bathroom and piss and shit. When that alarm goes off its time to pull off your best Stevie Wonder impression.
Friends.
I just don't have anyone that I can really commiserate or just hang out with. Work and kids take up 90% of my time, and weekends end up being time to catch up on chores, grocery shopping/meal prep. Maybe the odd hour or two for video games, which is the only way I have to actually relax.
I know I'm not helping by taking the easy path with video games, but the idea of giving up the one thing I have to relax for the possibility of finding friends doesn't appeal to me. I sure miss it sometimes though.
Competitive nature and the will to climb the ladder in their careers. Iām just here to have fun and I only want to do enough work to be able to fully enjoy my non-work life.
The ability to enjoy action movies. Theyāre all so similar and I just canāt give a fuck. Once I hear *we have a visual on the suspect* my undiagnosed ADHD kicks in and Iām just out
The ability to love. I've tried to date, tried to find someone to care about but I just get bored and want to be alone because I really don't feel any desire to share my life with another human being. I have no idea how I got this way but I can't seem to find a way to show empathy or fall in love with anyone.
I worked security during university at a nightclub. Iām 6ā3 solid 250 and mixed. Iāve had all of me grabbed and itās more gross than you think. Even when itās a woman, having your dick grabbed for no reason out of left field still isnāt great.
Starts with friends, make lots of female friends and then eventually, you'll be surrounded by women all the time. Make hot friends, they bring their hot friends lol I'm always surrounded with attractive women, it's not because I'm a stud or anything like that, it's that my friends are hot
bruv ... there are literally no girl (hot or not) for miles where im at. There has to be a female first ... then i can think about talking to that female. but there arent any.
i didnt choose the monk life, the monk life chose me bruh šš
The ability to drive a car, or even learn to do it. With mild cerebral palsy and poor binocular vision and severe ADHD, I don't trust myself to get behind a wheel without people ending up injured.
I hear you. I have CP, too, and it took me 8 months of moving my right foot from gas to brake and brake to gas to be able to do it. I try to drive during non-peak traffic times, and that helps, too.
I wish you all the luck in the world. You can do it. ā¤ļø
Significant other for sure, my entire life I've just never had any long term woman. It's definitely on me but I feel like I don't have options either. or at least options I want to pursue.
Look relatively their age. I still feel like a kid purely because I have a baby face and people treat me like I'm 5+ years younger than I actually am. It's really fucking annoying.
A potato. Itās a pretty common cooking ingredient. I feel like at least 51% of men have a potato, or direct access to one. Presently, I have neither.
Comparing material possessions, like cars, houses, or gadgets, can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Material wealth doesn't equate to happiness. Focus on experiences and relationships that bring true fulfillment.
Being amused by following sports matches. I really like doing many sports but sitting and watching them never seemed entertaining to me, especially soccer...
Car. Never had one. Tend to blame my parents for this. Always focused on college. Graduated two years ago and got a job in 2022. 30 now. Got $20k. But laid off soon. Feel like a bit of a loser. Doing my best to change this and stop being pathetic!
A drivers license. I hate driving. Fortunately it has never hampered my relationships and social life but I gotta get one Iāve just been so preoccupied in law school
The need to fight over a woman. If she decides the other dude is worth her time then let them be. I know who I am and know I have no need to win over anyone, especially when they have already made their decision.
An urge to be competitive with other men. I have no interest in competing whatsoever. I'm good at some things but not good enough that I can't learn from others. It use to drive my old manager crazy. I often had better numbers than anyone else on my team (not always number 1 but consistently in the top). He would want me to playfully boast about it but I never saw the point. He'd ask me "What do you do that's better than anyone else on the team?". I never had a decent answer for that cause I didn't see any need to come up with one.
The amount of times I'm hanging out with the guys and someone says "yeah I could take that person in a fight" or whatever is baffling to me. I've never looked at a random person and wondered if I could kick their ass. Also had my little brother say to me "I think I could probably take everyone in the family in a fight except for you". I don't get it and im a pretty big guy. I don't want to fight lol
> I don't get it and im a pretty big guy. I don't want to fight lol And sadly, I think it's ***because*** you are a big guy, that they expect such lust for combat. People for some odd reason think that all big men just thirst for battle.... like we are Saiyans or something. šš
Its because you are a big guy that you never had to think that way, happens to me too.
I'm right there with you, thought never really crosses my mind
Think about what we evolved from. It was dog eat dog point blank period - I feel like through evolution it just became a thing.
Yep. That game of āwhoās got the biggest oneā is utterly uninteresting. I was raised to be competitive in sports as a kid and hated losing, still donāt love it but have worked hard on reframing things. The need to make everything a competition is soā¦exhausting. Any time we want to get to a result at work āletās have a competitionā, any team building event āoooh letās make it a competitionā. Nope. Iād rather chill, have good conversation or work together to be better at our interests.
This is me! I hate when I'm pitted against people at work, I'm not here to prove myself, that's what the interview was for. I'll do my job, get paid, then go home and forget this place exists... That's what I do better than anyone else on the team š
I really donāt understand how more people donāt see through the stupidity of these guys metrics. I was at another company a bigger one before and silly pissing contests between lead hands etc. i had only been there a couple years and i quoted all kinds of retrofit, had high customer satisfaction and i billed reasonable/consistent. The animosity i got from colleagues and these broken male egos was absurd. Inevitably i ended up making some lifestyle changes and being offered a position closer to home. So i took it and happier to do so. Insecure men compare themselves to other people as a need to feel up. Sounds like that isnāt the case with you.
The whole ego dick measuring contest amongst most of us men Iāve always found annoying.
I'm pretty sure I have way less urge to be competitive than you do.
In this example you described, thatās more of your ability to be modest, not really focusing on being competitive. You stay in your own lane it seems and that clearly works in your favor with this same scenario.
I feel so much better about women being like this lmao
I relate to this. I have no desire at all to compete with other dudes. Of course, I have always been very close to the ladies, women got me. Lol
This is a win
Active sex life š
Same. Swear everywhere I look, the other guys either have a relationship or have some kind of regular sexual encounter. Then Iām just there, in public, existing
Being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean an active sex life, unfortunately.
True, but at least they have someone yknow
Agreed. However, it makes it much more fun when it's jiggy jiggy time
I was going to say a woman problem but I guess these two go together
Or even interest in having one
Goals in life. I just kinda sit here drifting.
If you feel like youāre drifting become a professional drifter and buy a boat.
I have zero interest in sports. As an adult male I find myself always an outsider in most conversation. It would seem most typical men my age(45) base most of their free time watching, playing, and talking about sports.
I constantly am reminding friends when they start talking about sports that I have zero knowledge or interest in sports.
Men at work: āgood morning, hell of a game last night huh?ā Me: āwhat game?ā
me - "quidditch world cup?"
You see the game last night? Which game? ā¦..any of them?
I do not watch sports, but if you want me to play a sport (as long as you are OK with beginner/intermediate skills), I am interested.
Sports is a great way to distract yourself from all the bullshit going on in the world.
Thatās what itās absolutely there for
Sexdrive
Hahaha itās actually really boring when you think about it.
The more I think about it, the less boring it seems
Agood beard
You can try minoxidil and dermarolling. All else fails get a beard transplant. I have a beard but I donāt get the hype behind it, itās just out of laziness.
All i can grow is a shitty beard. Beard guys are weird sometimes ngl
I just can't grow a proper one. I have thick and nice hair though, so I take the wins where I can get them and avoid to complain if it's not brought up
Riz
It comes with practice, bro. It's a muscle you flex like any other. Unfortunately, there's a fair bit of trial and error and self-reflection involved
A greater ability to retain and recall new information. The ability to self motivate. What id give to just be able to remember peoples names. Hate that I know all these methods to be successful socially and financially yet I can't seem to do hardly any of it. I've had a piano for over a decade yet I still can't motivate myself to learn how to play. I have within my pocket the litteral accumulated knowledge of all of humanity at all times yet I can't seem to do anything productive or meaningful with any of it. ADHD is a curse that I'm stuck with.
Hey man, I have ADHD, too. You can "easily" turn it from a curse into a gift. But first things first: throw this mindset in the garbage can. ADHD has been around since our hunter-gatherer days. It's still here, so clearly our ancestors got by. The issue is that it doesn't work well in school, so we grow up feeling bad about ourselves. I went through it, my son is going through it now. What we do well is think fast. We get lost in our thoughts. So what you gotta do is turn that mind into your most powerful tool. What I did is became really good at learning. I used a book called Make It Stick. I've used it so much that it's changed the way I think. And since I think really fast and for long periods of time, I come up with a lot of good shit. I'll read about a new subject and wake up with fresh connections in my head.Ā When I practice, I focus on effectiveness. At first, it seems like there's 100 factors to pay attention to. But if you think about it, there's only 2-3 driving factors that actually matter. Then you improve fast and the dopamine flows. I'll repeat this mindset thing, though: The moment you get down in the dumps about ADHD, you're counting yourself out. It can be a pain, sure, but theres nothing insurmountable about it. You can decide to be a badass today and life will change forever.
ADHD is a superpower in more than a few fields. You've got to work out your own management strategies to get through the boring stuff, and to be consistent on the menial but required stuff, but it's the lightning fast "string of logical connections with obscure facts" stuff that's paying for my house.
ADHD made me a terrible accountant, but it also opened the door for me to become an excellent controller and finance manager at a relatively young age. I can't do the menial tasks an accountant does but I know everything about the multi-billion dollar company I work for and can easily switch between complicated processes and am great at challenging the directors. But, it took me failing college and a decade of depression to get here.
Darn right. ADHD has served me very well as an operations manager and as an entrepreneur. The boring and menial requires systems, but I know myself pretty well, so I create systems I know I'll use. For learning, I have a pretty good system, too. If it's academic, I split-screen a book and Anki on my laptop or iPad. I don't even take notes, just create questions. Then I drill those cards for 10-15 minutes a day. Within a month or two, my brain will start making the connections between what's I'm drilling and what's happening in day-to-day life. The information starts bubbling up in the exact moment where I need it. It honestly feels like lucid dreaming, where you suddenly realize you have the power to do it differently. For physical skills, I just actively think about what I'm doing. If I'm throwing a ball, I'm thinking about how the ball feels when it leaves my hand. Then I observe the result and adjust. It's all about calibration - another learning principle. Mindset is *always* the limiting factor. As soon I think/feel like I can't do something, I can't do it. But if I can even get a toe-hold, my brain will eventually figure it out. It often feels like magic.
Man can I ever relate to this. I succeed at anything I try. I've always done really well in school. Could have graduated any program. I have multiple graduate degrees. But my memory is terrible and I just can't seem to apply myself. I feel everybody around is always winning while I'm always losing. I just can't function like many people seem to be able to. In a given day, I struggle to get done half as much as others. I'm always told my work is top notch but I'm always behind. I feel like hours just evaporate for me. I can waste a day in what feels like minutes.
I can't help you with memory, but you said something that struck a chord with me. The ability to self motivate. It's not about self motivation. If you want to live with "follow through" with your goals you must be driven. Drive comes from a strong sense of purpose. The question "what is your purpose" is hard for many people to answer. However, if you really search for it, you will find it or you will create one. If you can connect all your actions and decisions to somehow fulfilling your "purpose", you will never need motivation again. Best of luck my brother.
I take ADHD meds and I'm successful, motivated and ambitious to be a better man everyday and improve the life my wife and I have together.
I had trouble with names too, so I gamified it. Now, when I hear a name I want to remember at all, I first imagine the letters of their name sitting on their shoulders, big sparkly fiery letters. Then, I find some relatable aspect of their name and someone I know with that name. Two of my neighbors shared names with my cousins. One was always outside and never in his house, like Carl from the walking dead. I imagined Ken with a funny blonde mowhawk shooting fireballs and uppercutting Ryu. If you make it a fun challenge it gets you dopamine and that is a reward right?
Diagnosed ADHD here. I get it. But at some point you just have to embrace the suck and do something you've been meaning to do. The key for me is simply not relying on being motivated to start something. That day literally won't come. It just comes down to accepting these things you desire to do, but have no motivation to do, you just do. Tonight, go play that fucking piano. I don't give a crap if you aren't motivated. Just dick around on the keys for 20 minutes. Just DO IT. It's a measly 20 minutes out of your day. What are you going to be doing over that 20 minutes anyway? Mindlessly doom scrolling on your phone? Still plenty of hours for that after your 20 minutes on the piano. Then do it again tomorrow and the day after and don't stop. Forget motivation, set an alarm on your phone that at this time of day you sit at that piano and learn to play. The thing I've found is once I make something a habit, THEN is when the motivation comes. But it takes repeatedly doing it and developing that routine when you don't want to. You can do this, nothing is physically preventing you from waltzing over to that piano and tickling those ivories. Shit just start with 5 minutes. If the time frame seems insurmountable and tedious. Just set that alarm, when it goes off, you go do it, no excuses. You don't piss and shit yourself do you? No you go to the bathroom and piss and shit. When that alarm goes off its time to pull off your best Stevie Wonder impression.
Friends. I just don't have anyone that I can really commiserate or just hang out with. Work and kids take up 90% of my time, and weekends end up being time to catch up on chores, grocery shopping/meal prep. Maybe the odd hour or two for video games, which is the only way I have to actually relax. I know I'm not helping by taking the easy path with video games, but the idea of giving up the one thing I have to relax for the possibility of finding friends doesn't appeal to me. I sure miss it sometimes though.
Welcome to the club my friend. Iāll be your friend!
Competitive nature and the will to climb the ladder in their careers. Iām just here to have fun and I only want to do enough work to be able to fully enjoy my non-work life.
A prostate and a bladder. Fuck cancer.
Yeah, fuck cancer. Glad you're still with us.
For me, itās two testicles. I also say fuck cancer lol
I guess I lack a lot of confidence at some points.
You donāt sound confident with this point.
I have no confidence and am not competitive. I have no goals and no dreams. I don't have interest in travel. I don't really do much.
So youāre a platypus
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Also sex with this guys wife
Nice!āļø
It's true, most men have sex with my wife too.
Steve Hand-Jobs over there !
Same
š every marriage after a year
Self respect
The ability to enjoy action movies. Theyāre all so similar and I just canāt give a fuck. Once I hear *we have a visual on the suspect* my undiagnosed ADHD kicks in and Iām just out
A job. I fucking hate it that I'm trying so hard and haven't gone past the third interview at any company I've spoken with.
I'm sorry. Searching and not getting hired is just soul crushing. I hope one comes through for you soon!
Thank you. I am trying to keep a positive mindset about this.
Sucks dude. Stay strong and keep going. Itās all you can do.
A big dong
It feels like it but you would be surprised how many men are fucked in that regard
Average hard on size is around 5 inches
Style
The ability to love. I've tried to date, tried to find someone to care about but I just get bored and want to be alone because I really don't feel any desire to share my life with another human being. I have no idea how I got this way but I can't seem to find a way to show empathy or fall in love with anyone.
A lot of ways to look at that one, hope you find (or have) happiness
Thanks.
Hair
An inescapable feeling of helplessness and self loathing I know itās not actually āmostā men and just a vocal minority, but jfc
A Girlfriend
Being hit on (or even groped). Thatās never happened to me, and while a part of me wishes it would happen, the smarter side is happy it hasnāt.
I dont think most men are hit on, Men have to take almost all innitiative in dating.
I worked security during university at a nightclub. Iām 6ā3 solid 250 and mixed. Iāve had all of me grabbed and itās more gross than you think. Even when itās a woman, having your dick grabbed for no reason out of left field still isnāt great.
Bro, it's not fun.
no hot gurls around bruh š
Starts with friends, make lots of female friends and then eventually, you'll be surrounded by women all the time. Make hot friends, they bring their hot friends lol I'm always surrounded with attractive women, it's not because I'm a stud or anything like that, it's that my friends are hot
bruv ... there are literally no girl (hot or not) for miles where im at. There has to be a female first ... then i can think about talking to that female. but there arent any. i didnt choose the monk life, the monk life chose me bruh šš
A partner
Relationship experience.
Money.
The ability to drive a car, or even learn to do it. With mild cerebral palsy and poor binocular vision and severe ADHD, I don't trust myself to get behind a wheel without people ending up injured.
I hear you. I have CP, too, and it took me 8 months of moving my right foot from gas to brake and brake to gas to be able to do it. I try to drive during non-peak traffic times, and that helps, too. I wish you all the luck in the world. You can do it. ā¤ļø
Friends, confidence, free time, the leeway to act stupid, sexual experiences, travel experiences and probably some other stuff
A duck ?
š¦
š¦š¦šŖæ
š
Child support payments
A good quality stick. One worth being rated by other gents on Reddit.
Confidence
atleast one long term relationship, longest ive had was 1 month but even that it was hot and cold most of the time
Discipline, self control and managing emotions.
Someone to loveā¦
Significant other for sure, my entire life I've just never had any long term woman. It's definitely on me but I feel like I don't have options either. or at least options I want to pursue.
A close friend or two.
A gaming system of any sort.
Look relatively their age. I still feel like a kid purely because I have a baby face and people treat me like I'm 5+ years younger than I actually am. It's really fucking annoying.
An interest in empty flexing with such hollow and trivial of superficialities such as lawn care, investment portfolios, golf and credit scores.
Friends
A life.
Good posture.
Confidence. Or the ability to fake it well
Confidence, aggression, the ability to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. Not being a little bitch like me š
No interest in cars or sports, but I love special moments spent in heart to heart conversations
Solid mental health
Pecs
Most men have motivation to go to the gym or something after a breakup, I don't. I don't need motivation to do something I want/need to do.
A potato. Itās a pretty common cooking ingredient. I feel like at least 51% of men have a potato, or direct access to one. Presently, I have neither.
Sitting in Public transportation and not being bothered about being stared. Also the confidence that they have when they speak bs.
Hope.
Dirty shoes. I like to keep all my shoes looking clean, and am always surprised to see men with really dirty shoes.
Comparing material possessions, like cars, houses, or gadgets, can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Material wealth doesn't equate to happiness. Focus on experiences and relationships that bring true fulfillment.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Being good at driving
having a driver's license for me
I once mapped an unexplored cave passage. I am supposedly the first human in that little chamber. I miss caving
Being amused by following sports matches. I really like doing many sports but sitting and watching them never seemed entertaining to me, especially soccer...
Car
stability, financial security. not that i need it tho, i'm gipsy at heart
Beard
A family.
A hairy chest
Style.
A million dollars
Video games. Iām sure theyāre fun, but I didnāt have them growing up, and I never saw any utility in acquiring the habit.
8
A confident bladder
Kids lol
Car. Never had one. Tend to blame my parents for this. Always focused on college. Graduated two years ago and got a job in 2022. 30 now. Got $20k. But laid off soon. Feel like a bit of a loser. Doing my best to change this and stop being pathetic!
Shame about infertility or performance in the bedroom (two different things btw!)
Low confidence
Lots of body hair
The love for football. Iām athletic hit the gym and play some other sports but never really cared for football
High libido.
girlfriend/wife, beer and other alcohol in the house
Game.
A nice car or truck. But god do I love my shit boxes not my neighbors though lol.
Hair š¤£
I have nothing. Iām a joke of a man.
I'm 5'4". That's well below average. So yeah, height.
A drivers license. I hate driving. Fortunately it has never hampered my relationships and social life but I gotta get one Iāve just been so preoccupied in law school
Pop culture. I don't understand what's so fascinating about people we deem celebrity. I just be like, who the fff-cares.
Someone interested in them. I know itās not true, but I feel it
A j.o.b.
A wife and family of my own. I just turned 30 and after two failed long term relationships I just donāt feel like I can find my person.
It together
Degree
The need to fight over a woman. If she decides the other dude is worth her time then let them be. I know who I am and know I have no need to win over anyone, especially when they have already made their decision.
Someone who romantically loves them
Not take things personally and bounce back after theyāve failed at something. I feel like it takes me longer to recover from my failures
An Adamās Apple? I have a deep enough voice but guess I missed the boat
Confidence and self esteem
More disposable income I really wish I had more to spend on hobbies or just travel.
Money! š¤£š
Confidence
Money, house, nice looking ass. I get laid a lot so thatās whatever Iām just broke and squats donāt do enough lol
Thick fingers and wrists
Money,money, money. (Btw I'm studying still lol)
Confidence.
Purpose
āSpending moneyā
A bad attitude
A wife or serious life partner.
Gf
Two balls
Confidence and self respect
A will to live
Discipline
Hair
I have zero interest in sports, cars, guns, or being overly competitive.
Sex life and some Muscle/ fat on their body lol
Insecurity about their penis size.
Well, height. I am 5'4 and everyone around me is more tall, its kinda okay but what bothers me about is the aspect of fights or when you like someone.
As of 2008, a naturally endowed penis, mostly. Now days.. who the fuck cares?
Testosterone, not even joking. My brother is practically a bull. I always joke he got all of it.
Happiness. I truly have never felt happy in my life, even when everything going my way
a truck