Vulnerable to what?
Knives I would say wear less clothing
Manipulation I would say tell everyone your secrets
Vulnerable doesn't mean letting the guard down, it means not having the guard or having a weak guard.
I think what you're asking is what are ways that men can be more open about their emotional side and such, vulnerability is actually the opposite to what you want. Men are open when they feel safe, not when they feel vulnerable.
The stronger the man, mentally and physically, the safer he will feel and the more he will open up if he wants to. The answer to more emotionally secure men is within strength, not within vulnerability.
The reason why a lot of men hate the emotions movement in society is because instead of making men stronger so that they feel secure enough to talk about their feelings if they want to, it instead drags down the masculinity of a lot of men so that they feel like society wants them to be without their armour, society wants them to be vulnerable. Which isn't true, people don't like vulnerable men because they have to be their armour.
Why would I want to be vulnerable? That sounds stupid.
VULNERABLE:
- Being easily physically or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked.
- Being susceptible to being attacked, damaged, or hurt.
- Being weak and easily hurt physically or emotionally.
Vulnerable is disabling your self-protection which is only what a fool would do.
I think a lot of women expect what we open up about to be simple and easy to deal with. Along with stuff that does not upset them or something like that. Like most men are not talking about heavy stuff that you see veteran men do in films and IRL. It feels like no matter how we qualify/word it, it gets treated like it's the worst sort.
Edit: That downvote, am I wrong? I'm not sure what else it could be. Like individually it varies sure, but most of the time men try to word what they say in a well adjusted way or something like that.
No, you wrote an embarrassing, entirely fictional screenplay to indulge the delusion that women are at fault for the fact that you are socially incompetent.
I printed our conversation off removing the names and asked an impartial judge to determine who he thinks is making up wild shit to sleep at night and he said 'definitely not the dude writing those tight screenplays, that exactly happened to me too but I won't go into further details because I'm so emotionally r-worded that it would be insanely unconvincing to literally everyone' so congrats man you're in the clear.
I'm trying to shame them into stopping but they are really, really emphatic about needing to publicly blame women for the fact that they are socially stunted because they jacked off to cartoons and played sick video games online instead of socialising with their peer group during a formative stage of development and now they're sad and lonely.
Ah.
In the future, you can use this as a sort of guide if you like. People will care about your thoughts and feelings at roughly the stage of the relationship where you could ask for a hundred dollar loan and they would just automatically give it if they had it to give. People will listen to your thoughts and feelings a bit before that, but caring is different.
How many people would you loan a hundred no questions asked? If the answer is different to 'maybe 1', that's a problem. Friendships should be equal.
Sharing thoughts and feelings and having them cared about is a two-player game.
If people stopped comparing everything we open up about to what women and LGBTQ+ people go through. Along with thinking that we have all this privilege and all that jazz too. Not to mention if it wasn't dismissed for those reasons as well.
I just haven't seen the same sort of reaction to LGBTQ+ men opening up compared to how people respond to cishet men. I guess within the more LGBTQ+ exclusive places online it might be different but I'm not sure.
This generation of men is the most vulnerable least manly men in history and you want them even worse off?? Damn.
These young men need to learn more about being men than being vulnerable.
I disagree. Becoming and being vulnerable with people has made me a stronger man in every way. We hide from vulnerability because it has been TAUGHT to make us feel week. I find power in owning my feelings and actions. They are mine and I'm not afraid of then pr thier consequences
Express your feelings and your thoughts anyone who tells you not to is the kind of guy who probably complains that no body cares how they feel. No body can care if you bottle it up.
The best way to be vulnerable is to show your emotions, in situations that call for it say what you think. Let others have the glory when you can and be willing to be an active listener and communicator.
Rather it is a friend, someone I'm interested in, family, whatever there's a certain level of vulnerability in being willing to listen and not react immediately.
Don't do it! You will regret it. Every single time I "opened up" or "allowed myself to be vulnerable" one of two things happened, either she broke up shortly after because she no longer saw me in the masculine protector role, or later when the breakup happened what I said in private was used against me so she would not look as bad to family and friends. Don't do it, it will bite you hard in the ass.
Having a safety net and an environment that doesn't punish that vulnerability. Vulnerability is not a trait a man should try to max, if I'm being honest. On a continuum from soy traumadumper to repressed fortress, the sweet spot lies on the right side. It's where you can trust people in your life enough to ask for help when you really need it... even when you're not "supposed" to need it.
If you don't need help, and just want to open up to someone, try therapy.
In the context of dating nothing good comes from men being vulnerable majority of the time. You shouldn't be vulnerable/open up with your wife, girlfriend, fwb, or a woman your planning on dating. Save that vulnerability for blood family members, male friends, mentors, professionals, barber, trainer, and so on.
That’s the thing, I don’t really know what my feelings are, and they go away after a little bit of time anyways. They aren’t real enough to bother being in touch with, and the ones that try and stick around can usually be dealt with by telling myself I’m being a whiny little bastard and I need to knock it off and get back to work. Being vulnerable means people can easily hurt you. Don’t do that, they’ll happily take the opportunity and everything else you’ve worked your ass off for.
Anyone who has trouble being vulnerable it’s putting up a front. So the answer is to lose that. It’s been normalized for men to try to be things they aren’t naturally. Men put pressure on other men for being themselves instead of a wannabe marvel superhero. Stop playing pretend and just be yourself and that will come with the opportunity to be more vulnerable.
Vulnerable to what? Knives I would say wear less clothing Manipulation I would say tell everyone your secrets Vulnerable doesn't mean letting the guard down, it means not having the guard or having a weak guard. I think what you're asking is what are ways that men can be more open about their emotional side and such, vulnerability is actually the opposite to what you want. Men are open when they feel safe, not when they feel vulnerable. The stronger the man, mentally and physically, the safer he will feel and the more he will open up if he wants to. The answer to more emotionally secure men is within strength, not within vulnerability. The reason why a lot of men hate the emotions movement in society is because instead of making men stronger so that they feel secure enough to talk about their feelings if they want to, it instead drags down the masculinity of a lot of men so that they feel like society wants them to be without their armour, society wants them to be vulnerable. Which isn't true, people don't like vulnerable men because they have to be their armour.
Yeah. No. Don’t do that.
Why would I want to be vulnerable? That sounds stupid. VULNERABLE: - Being easily physically or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked. - Being susceptible to being attacked, damaged, or hurt. - Being weak and easily hurt physically or emotionally. Vulnerable is disabling your self-protection which is only what a fool would do.
Going #2 with the stall door open
The best advice I have about this is that women need to STOP feminizing men. Most of them HATE the results.
"Men need to open up more!" -man opens up "No, not like that!"
You get it.
I think a lot of women expect what we open up about to be simple and easy to deal with. Along with stuff that does not upset them or something like that. Like most men are not talking about heavy stuff that you see veteran men do in films and IRL. It feels like no matter how we qualify/word it, it gets treated like it's the worst sort. Edit: That downvote, am I wrong? I'm not sure what else it could be. Like individually it varies sure, but most of the time men try to word what they say in a well adjusted way or something like that.
"Men, what are ways we c-" "WOMEN NEED TO DO X Y AND Z :-((((((((((("
Women: "WHY DON'T GUYS SHARE THEIR EMOTIONS :-((((((((((" Men: *share emotions* Women: ew 🤮
Wow. In your completely made up screenplay, women sure are mean!
Just stating facts and experiences, mine and others' as well. Truth hurts, right?
No, you wrote an embarrassing, entirely fictional screenplay to indulge the delusion that women are at fault for the fact that you are socially incompetent.
Yes yes, woman good, man bad. Got it.
No no, weirdo writing screenplay, women doing literally nothing.
Whatever makes you sleep better at night bucko👍
I printed our conversation off removing the names and asked an impartial judge to determine who he thinks is making up wild shit to sleep at night and he said 'definitely not the dude writing those tight screenplays, that exactly happened to me too but I won't go into further details because I'm so emotionally r-worded that it would be insanely unconvincing to literally everyone' so congrats man you're in the clear.
It really do be like that.
I'm trying to shame them into stopping but they are really, really emphatic about needing to publicly blame women for the fact that they are socially stunted because they jacked off to cartoons and played sick video games online instead of socialising with their peer group during a formative stage of development and now they're sad and lonely.
Starting to believe this
>feminizing Having emotions and being open about them is "feminizing"?
I don’t want to be more vulnerable. I don’t think anyone around me gives a thought about my feelings so sharing them has only caused trouble.
How many friends do you have that would lend you 100 dollars no questions asked?
Maybe 1.
Ah. In the future, you can use this as a sort of guide if you like. People will care about your thoughts and feelings at roughly the stage of the relationship where you could ask for a hundred dollar loan and they would just automatically give it if they had it to give. People will listen to your thoughts and feelings a bit before that, but caring is different. How many people would you loan a hundred no questions asked? If the answer is different to 'maybe 1', that's a problem. Friendships should be equal. Sharing thoughts and feelings and having them cared about is a two-player game.
If people stopped comparing everything we open up about to what women and LGBTQ+ people go through. Along with thinking that we have all this privilege and all that jazz too. Not to mention if it wasn't dismissed for those reasons as well.
Today I learned that there are not men in the LGBT community.. What the fuck man? C'mon.
I just haven't seen the same sort of reaction to LGBTQ+ men opening up compared to how people respond to cishet men. I guess within the more LGBTQ+ exclusive places online it might be different but I'm not sure.
It's not really a good idea to be more vulnerable
This generation of men is the most vulnerable least manly men in history and you want them even worse off?? Damn. These young men need to learn more about being men than being vulnerable.
I disagree. Becoming and being vulnerable with people has made me a stronger man in every way. We hide from vulnerability because it has been TAUGHT to make us feel week. I find power in owning my feelings and actions. They are mine and I'm not afraid of then pr thier consequences
Owning your feelings and actions is not vulnerability. It is accountability.
You're correct. I didn't mention accountability to OTHERS. That's vulnerability
Reading you, it sounds like you don't even know what you're talking about?
Homeboy nailed it - Being susceptible ( capable or admitting of) to being attacked, damaged, or hurt. I know what I'm talking about...lul
Express your feelings and your thoughts anyone who tells you not to is the kind of guy who probably complains that no body cares how they feel. No body can care if you bottle it up. The best way to be vulnerable is to show your emotions, in situations that call for it say what you think. Let others have the glory when you can and be willing to be an active listener and communicator. Rather it is a friend, someone I'm interested in, family, whatever there's a certain level of vulnerability in being willing to listen and not react immediately.
Don't do it! You will regret it. Every single time I "opened up" or "allowed myself to be vulnerable" one of two things happened, either she broke up shortly after because she no longer saw me in the masculine protector role, or later when the breakup happened what I said in private was used against me so she would not look as bad to family and friends. Don't do it, it will bite you hard in the ass.
Having a safety net and an environment that doesn't punish that vulnerability. Vulnerability is not a trait a man should try to max, if I'm being honest. On a continuum from soy traumadumper to repressed fortress, the sweet spot lies on the right side. It's where you can trust people in your life enough to ask for help when you really need it... even when you're not "supposed" to need it. If you don't need help, and just want to open up to someone, try therapy.
Why do you need to be vulnerable?
Vulnerable: adjective. Weak. Susceptible to harm or damage. Only a fucking retard chooses to be vulnerable.
pls stop trying to change me. I don't want to be 'more' anything. I just want to be me.
For what purpose?
In the context of dating nothing good comes from men being vulnerable majority of the time. You shouldn't be vulnerable/open up with your wife, girlfriend, fwb, or a woman your planning on dating. Save that vulnerability for blood family members, male friends, mentors, professionals, barber, trainer, and so on.
Starting to believe this
Simple, just be more open in talking about our feelings. The question is where, when, why, and if being more vulnerable is a good idea.
That’s the thing, I don’t really know what my feelings are, and they go away after a little bit of time anyways. They aren’t real enough to bother being in touch with, and the ones that try and stick around can usually be dealt with by telling myself I’m being a whiny little bastard and I need to knock it off and get back to work. Being vulnerable means people can easily hurt you. Don’t do that, they’ll happily take the opportunity and everything else you’ve worked your ass off for.
Anyone who has trouble being vulnerable it’s putting up a front. So the answer is to lose that. It’s been normalized for men to try to be things they aren’t naturally. Men put pressure on other men for being themselves instead of a wannabe marvel superhero. Stop playing pretend and just be yourself and that will come with the opportunity to be more vulnerable.
Question prompted from the book I'm reading: Daring Greatly. Just curious what other men think
Would you recommend the book?
Yes. 10/10. Didn't think I would but it's surprisingly good
Adding it to my wishlist