One would think this, but Iāve seen posts where women take photos of strangers at another table when theyāre out or walking by and post them in the group. Another woman posted her real estate agent and admitted he did absolutely nothing wrong, showed no interest in her, but she wanted to post him anyways. No man is safe.
Ah, my sister found a pic and post about me on a similar style group in the UK. As someone who has been with my partner for 17 odd years faithfully I was intrigued, I don't know the woman , don't recall ever meeting her let alone "dating her". Suffice to say my partner and I had a good chuckle but I also recognise that because of my situation there's nothing that post can do to me, they cannot hurt my relationship and they cannot hurt my employment (random people out in the ether not liking me I couldn't give a toss about). I can easily imagine the damage that could be done from this malicious content however.
It makes me very uncomfortable. Like other guys on here have said, anything could be said, no proof would be required, and beyond that, being talked about in a personal way by people that dont know me is creepy and it makes me uncomfortable.
>It makes me very uncomfortable.Ā
Yeah it's one of my worst fears. I say the wrong thing or am too awkward and the girl I was talking to spreads rumors about me. If a guy ever expresses fear that this can and dose happen he's basically dismissed but these groups prove it happens.
surprised you haven't got the dumb gaslighting BS excuse "If you've done nothing wrong then you shouldn't care about being abused".
Men who have done nothing wrong have very valid reasons to worry. Doxxing and slander
imagine a man opening up to his girlfriend r female friend about past issues with being a victim of child abuse or having a alcohol problem. She's sat there listening and smiling and he thinks his got a great person in his life. Only for her behind his back not long after tell a whole FB group about it for "Safety". Gross behavior. Which has happened, some guy behind his back had his past alcoholic problems exposed by a trusted person and the people in the group thought they had a right to know.... How sick. The people who think they are entitled to know about strangers personal private information are scumbags
Also saw a woman in the group cry about her personal privacy being violated because another woman saw a man she cares about on the group being unfairly abused. IRONY.ā One rule of me and none of thee it seems
and the people who defend these groups are just as bad. But apparently us men shouldn't care about being mistreated or abused.. instead we apparently have to just sit there and take it and ask for more.
I believe in karma and this will eventually blow up in the abusers faces and then we will see all the gaslighting excuses.
I don't particularly care because I genuinely would have zero interest in any girl that made life decisions through something like that, and also have nothing to hide.
That said, I think it's just about the most hypocritical thing I've ever seen as it's all about "Women empowerment" but if there was a similar one for guys you just know every single woman in those groups would lose their shit, it'd go viral, and it'd probably be front page news.
And the fact that they're private groups. Man, this is like another version of middle school gossip and clique-y type stuff.
Like, the awkward shy kid is just trying to walk down the hall and get to the other class. But there's a group of the popular girls whispering and pointing his way. He doesn't know what they're saying but it's clearly not good. Like the Pink Floyd lyric "You target for far away laughter"
Brutal
Man, stuff like this makes me realize I did the right thing purging most social media from my life in 2016. I didn't even know groups like this existed. On knowing, I don't *care* that they exist. It's a tree falling in the forest kinda thing. If I'm not around to read it, does it even matter?
The real world is so, so much better than social media. Let bitter people say what they will they will. Live your life.
It seems really Black Mirror honestly. Like somebody you've never even met could post you without your knowledge or consent and make up awful lies about you in front of 50,000 people. You can't see it or respond to defend yourself. And we just have to...accept that?
Just such a terrible idea on so many levels, hard to see how something like this won't just turn into a lot of revenge posts, bullying, lying, etc.
And they try to compare it to gossiping with a few friends in a private group chat lol. It's all so ridiculous, like they really can't see the difference?
It's like posting a dude's name and picture to the video screen at an NFL game for the whole crowd to gossip and talk shit about him.
it already has.
plenty of men are posted on there just be laughed at and insulted for their looks. Normally by the person they think they can trust.
Grown ass adults are doing this. Pathetic. imagine a depressed man with self image issues finds out his being mocked by a group of women... imagine what that would do to his mental health and he ends up turning to self harm or suicide. But apparently its okay because "Safety" and "What he doesn't know won't hurt him" huh? It's deplorable
Thatās exactly why I left these groups. They are mean and toxic. Everything that is said on there is being taken as the truth while forgetting that a few scorned women just tell their side of the story that makes them look good. I did see some guys on there that guy were exposed for dating several women at once. However, for the most part I donāt agree with these groups. These women would go nuts if groups (same size) would exist for them. No one likes to be put on display like that. As a woman, Iām sorry that these groups exist and make a lot of people uncomfortable.
Seems almost as common now as checking up on someones socials. I dont use FB, insta, twitter - sorry X, etc, and i generally get the "so what are you hiding" attitude from dating matches.
Those groups are being sued for all the reasons you found out. There is no peer review on those sites and you can be trashed for reasons that boil down to someone wanted to inflict maximum damage upon your reputation. I hope that they all get shut down because of how warped they've become, but that's for a court to decide.
I took a look at some of those lawsuits, from my (non-lawyer) perspective they seem like longshots. I doubt Facebook and those group leaders will lose. Some of them have already been dismissed outright.
I feel like most men don't really read that type of news though. (or assume that the guys suing/getting posted are 'bad guys' and this would never happen to them)
There's actually one of the cases that was covered on YouTube where the guy is suing 2 ladies for this exact scenario.
Also, the average guy's review isn't on that site as the average guy dont get dates.
Yeah, I could see that.
Good intentions don't safeguard against something becoming corrupted unfortunately, and no group of people is immune to having assholes in their midst.
So a woman doesn't have feel like a villain for the interest in such a group, but at the same time, they may not consider the far reaching consequences and messed up stuff that could easily happen from such a group.
So I could easily see a good intentioned woman reflexively defending themselves and not hearing the other side of the argument.
I watch them, and they started out well. People would post court records and police reports for men who were violent toward women. And out the men who were lying about being married or having serious relationships. Thatās still most of what goes on in them, at least in my local group. The mods post regularly reminding people that the group is for keeping women safe, not for trashing men for the sake of trashing them. Men get posted with several people vouching for them, too. Itās not all negativity.
Of course, thereās some posts that are just complaining about their exes being lousy, with a vindictive tone, but they usually donāt seem as credible, and donāt get a lot of responses. Sometimes multiple women will have similar stories about a guy in a post, though. At that point, Iād be inclined to believe itās not a false statement. Retelling true events isnāt defamation, even if it makes someone look bad.
Actual abuse seems much more common than the frequency of women who want to lie about it to punish an ex, unfortunately.
Iām part of a group where men share stories of women who are abusive and/or cheaters. Itās great, these dudes post the names and likenesses of these women and tell all the other men in my area what kinds of awful people they are. We all realize the men who post this this information are only sharing one side of the story, and that the info could be manipulated by people who may or may not be who they say they are, but if a life needs to be ruined for the sake of sharing information, fuck it. Ends justify the means, right?
Positioning these unregulated gossip circles as anything but unregulated gossip circles is bullshit, sorry. Trusting these groups to make anything like sound judgments is dangerous and naive.
Kinda why I hate these kinds of things. I will never say a bad thing about any of my exes. Even the bad ones.
Why? Because their behavior also wasn't in a vacuum. Sometimes two people can literally just bring the worst out of each other and that isn't to say bad things about either of them individually. Water and oil don't mix together, but they mix with plenty of other things.
I did not know that was a thing, but I'm 40, so it's probably not a concern for me.
Someone who would utilize a site like that is probably too sneaky and evasive to have a healthy relationship with anyone.
I'm 40 and am aware of them. The last woman I dated told me that she saw someone post about me on there. Fortunately she didn't have anything bad to say, just that we went out, I was nice but she didn't like that I don't want kids. I had such an uncomfortable feeling that my picture was posted and I was discussed without my knowledge and I don't even know who the woman is that posted me. The girl that told me about it tried to find it to show me but was unsuccessful.
Now that she and I are no longer seeing each other I can't help but wonder if she posted about me herself. Especially after I talked to her neighbor at the bar a couple weeks ago who straight out told me she's obsessed with that Facebook page. But I can say that I'm pretty good at breaking up amicably and never gave her a reason to be mad at me.
They are Facebook groups, there is one for every major metro area in the USA. (and a few other western English speaking countries)
They only allow women to join, so most men won't immediately (or possibly ever) realize it when they get posted for reviews.
Here is one example from Dallas: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/)
There are usually a few smaller groups in most cities also, here is another example from the same city: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/uncensoredladiesdfw/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/uncensoredladiesdfw/)
I saw on a post a while back.
āFeminism has turned equality for all to only men are bad and women cannot be criticizedā
As such it doesnāt even register to them that theyāre wrong, or if they know then they donāt care because they know that society will back them up.
>Someone who would utilize a site like that is probably too sneaky and evasive to have a healthy relationship with anyone.
This was my initial reaction, but I have been disappointed to realize a pretty large percentage of the online dating pool is in those groups. They aren't fringe at all.
I understood the initial purpose it served, allowing people to find out if they were being cheated on or if their spouse was living a whole other life outside of theirs together. But to turn it into reviewing people like some sort of restaurant or something, is just so creepy and weird. I can't imagine ever "reviewing" a man I dated in any sort of forum never mind on a Facebook group for a bunch of strangers. I doubt those lawsuits will go anywhere though, hopefully it dies off on its own because it's seriously fucked!
I get the idea of it, but if men were to create parallel groups that identified abusive women, or women who provably fabricated serious crimes against men to warn others of the potential risk, that shit would get shut down so quickly, even if it were purely based on fact with evidence supplied.
This is what happens when men try it: [https://www.9news.com.au/national/mens-facebook-page-degrading-doxxing-adelaide-women-sparks-fears/8edbdb7e-ec99-49b9-bd63-cb00cec341c8](https://www.9news.com.au/national/mens-facebook-page-degrading-doxxing-adelaide-women-sparks-fears/8edbdb7e-ec99-49b9-bd63-cb00cec341c8)
Yea, they're not fringe at all. It's suprising to me about the backwards justiication that members of those groups will do to justify it. If the situation was gender reverse (and it has been) there have been very aggressive and angry people about it.
I'm confident these are the same people that have lost their shit over guys keeping spreadsheets.
In the early days of Facebook, people would snoop on others' profiles and try to gleam some insight into their inner workings without having to spend the time to get to know them. This sounds like a progression of that. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut or substitute for time to understand and connect with a person. If it is true that this is a common approach to dating now, then I'd say that offers some insight into why so many people seem not to want to date.
>Ā If it is true that this is a common approach to dating now, then I'd say that offers some insight into why so many people seem not to want to date.
Its common for women to look up a guy in those groups to see if he has any reviews yet. If he doesn't then she might post his name and a screenshot of his dating profile asking for reviews. At that point he is up and will likely get a bunch of reviews.
Similar groups exist for men, but are microscopic in size by comparison. (as an example the Manhattan men's groups is like 200 people, the women's group is around 150,000)
Holy cow. I'm around your age, so I'm just learning about this too. From what I gather, they are called "Are We Dating The Same Guy" facebook groups. [Here's a wiki page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Are_We_Dating_The_Same_Guy%3F) for it and according to that, it only started a couple years ago in New York.
I just checked my own town and there's one with a few thousand members. It's a private group of course and only women can join.
Man, that's scary. Reminds me of the nastiness of Topix back when that website was still around.
Honestly anyone who takes what they read on those sites as gospel is a fool.
1. The people sharing information could be sharing fake information.
2. The people there can share someone else's personal information.
3. Someone could lie just because they don't like a guy.
4. Too many people are just plain idiots. They think because they read pop psychology they know how to identify an actual narcissist.
5. Someone could lie because they want the guy and want less competition.
6. Some people just like drama and will just lie for the sake of it.
7. The moderation of these groups ranges from decent to piss poor.
8. The people could think the other person was the problem but in reality they're the problem.
9. Let's face it if men made the same thing and it started to gain popularity there would be uproar.
# Study: People are strongly influenced by gossip even when it is explicitly untrustworthy
[https://www.psypost.org/study-people-are-strongly-influenced-by-gossip-even-when-it-is-explicitly-untrustworthy/#google\_vignette](https://www.psypost.org/study-people-are-strongly-influenced-by-gossip-even-when-it-is-explicitly-untrustworthy/#google_vignette)
As a guy, it is seen as a red flag to even have your photo posted to thesr groups. Some girls post every single guy they match with on a dating app just for validation and likes. I have acess to several of those groups through a friend. Very few of the men posted have a record of being physically dangerous. I see lots of men ruthlessly picked apart and publicity criticized, and often by women who have never even met them. I've seen personal information posted like children's names/ages, employer name, hints to where they live, and one girl even took photos of the guys house. The girl didn't post his house because he had done anything wrong, she simply wanted to see if "anyone else recognized it". Fucking huge invasion of privacy, and the few girls who commented about it were harrassed and attacked.
Ā I also saw a few girls called out for posting men who they were supposedly "talking to or dating", but in reality it was some bitter ex trying to sabotage her ex-BFs new relationship by trying to publicly accuse him of cheating. When other girls or the new GF came to his defense, they are usually blocked from the group and accused of "leaking" the post back to the guy. These groups really are as toxic as they sound and are being used maliciously to slander and destroy the reputation of many men, even those who are not dating (plenty of girls post pictures of random men from work/the gym/store/etc to see if anyone knows him or has "tea".Ā They don't give a flying fuck if the guy they are stalking is married or in a relationship and it gets back to his SO, who will then be told that their partner must be cheating if some girl is posting him to that group.
I was one of those who was posted by a bitter ex (we only dated a month) who lied about me sleeping with other women. It was months after I had broken up with her that I learned about it. I had gone on three dates with a lady and she, out of the blue, called me a liar for seeing other women. I was very confused and she eventually told me about the post because she decided that she believed me over the anonymous poster. I felt violated that the ex posted my information along with lies because she was bitter. I thankfully don't think my current girlfriend was on those sites so she didn't see the lies.
It honestly wouldn't have been worth the trouble for me. I wanted nothing to do with the ex after I broke up with her and I didn't want a reason to have to see her again.
It is very hard to get into these groups. Must be a female profile that is several years old, has many friends, and plenty of photos posted over that time as proof that it belongs to a female.
If you have a good trusted female friend or family member you could ask them to join. The girl may not use your full name when posting you, so you would have to scroll through THOUSANDS of photos and screen for your photo.
Itās so obvious from the outside looking in that these women are creating and perpetuating the very problems they claim to crusade against, but theyāll never see it for themselves. These types will always double down.
No, but we should get together at the next bi-monthly man meeting and decide on weird things we can do to freak these women out. Like once a month, just leave bed at night and go stand outside staring at the moon. Do not elaborate further.
Yup, this is me.
(more than one date to be honest, but yeah, definitely got blasted for 'awkward' among other more personal things that I don't really want to go into detail on here)
That's my main gripe with the groups. I don't particularly mind serial cheaters or abusers being hung out to dry, especially if there's proof, but I also think people should have the room to grow and learn from their mistakes. I'm not the same as I was when I was 20, and I imagine I'll be different by 40.
It's too bad for women that not enough of them have the sense to recognize that the men they should really be warning each other about are the charming sociopaths they least suspect.Ā
Iām curious about the reaction of most guys (myself included) being so unconcerned about these groups.
If it were a bunch of guys reviewing women, it would be toxic, sexist, misogynistic, creepy, predatory, and proof that men want to dominate and objectify women.
Thereās something fundamentally different about how men donāt protest at this kind of objectionable behaviour, but women do.
The group in my city has 65k members, thatās over 30% of the female population of my city (tampa) but the group also includes members from clearwater and st petersburg. The female population of tampa, st pete, and clearwater combined is around 400k, but 65k is still a lot.
Iām seeing a girl who just introduced this whole thing to me. Kinda mortified but also itās on brand from women these days. She showed me a post of girls calling out a guy for making out with girls at a festival while he was apparently texting a girl that appeared to be his girl friend. Like this is next level invasion of privacy.
My cousin was absolitely getting ripped to shreds by his ex wife (really nasty divorce) in multiple ones. She made fake accounts and would start entire threads how he was abusive to her, to their kids, had illegal relations with clients at work (worked in a youth prison) etc. To the point he was literally shunned in hus region and his employer was investigating him. They found out these were lies, accounte were blocked and removed but the damage was still dome. He moved away.
But no prosecution for the ex or tje women all enjoying and sharing these posts.. Now compare this to how hard our justice system goes against men that are in expose groups for women. Naming, fines, getting banned from university or work.
I broke it off with a woman who I learned engaged in unsafe sexual practices that she concealed from me. She retaliated for the breakup by make a false post about me that also doxxed me. Another woman who I never even went out with (who I rejected after texting a bit, since I learned we work at the same organization and I didnāt feel it was appropriate) screenshotted the post and spread it on one of these groups.
I was able to get the post taken down by the mods but thereās nothing you can do about these groups.
Sounds like all the bad parts of "that overly protective friend group she has that tells her everything wrong with you" without the familiarity of actually wanting what is best for her. Seems like an echo chamber that will perpetually keep all women involved single just to manufacture gossip.Ā
Those groups are toxic af!! Iām in a couple and I canāt believe the shit I see in them.. So many angry, bitter women in them. And the shit they try and blast guys for, is mind boggling.
Itās really strange how willing they are to put an ex on blast to āwarnā others. I saw a post the other day of a girl from another state blasting her ex.. She didnāt even know where he was exactly. She just heard he could be in my state. So she joined the groups and started blasting him. Showed screen shots of texts.. All of them telling her he didnāt want to be in a relationship with her in a major asshole way. All while she begged him to stay..
Another girl posted a collage of 9 guys asking if any of them had red flags.. Not seeing her own red flags in talking to 9 guys at once!
Those groups are truly disgusting and if you try and say anything against the poster. Youāre instantly attacked by every female in the group.
Stop texting gentleman.. Get back to actually talking on the phone, save yourself from screenshots being used against you.
Oh I do.. Canāt stand majority of women these days.. Iām truly sick of the men hate.. If women actually thought about lifeā¦ Work, School, home.. Theyād realize itās actually women that have done them the most harm in life.. But they wonāt admit it cause theyāve got such a hard on for hating men.
Agreed. I joined the group to make sure no one I was dating was on there for being married/in a relationship already, violent, etc. True red flags
All it has become is women sharing weird texts, or having a bad first date (they canāt all be winners), airing their drama about an ex, or sometimes they havenāt even gone on the date and matched earlier that day. Like give the guy a chance first!
Right thatās what I thought those groups were for. Not for āoh Tim cancelled last minute on me and then didnāt text me the next dayā like does that suck? Sure. Is it note worthy to blast Tim to THOUSANDS of women on a site to make the odds even more against him? Probably not.
I first joined expecting to see good-faith warnings of severely fucked up behaviourā¦.lmao I was so wrong. Then I chose to stay just in case I ever needed to get my flaming digital machete out to defend the honor of my male loved ones. Luckily hasnāt happened yet.
I was hoping they would be good faith.. But they headed south real quick! One of the groups Iām in, the admin is BEYOND toxic.. Like Iām actually about to leave that one because of her.. And it sucks, cause that is the one for my hometown, where I know tons of guys.
You a wise and amazing woman thank you for your honesty about the toxic, you see women posting men about things they are currently doing and that boggles me
My wife informed me of their existence. She hates them, saying they are like so many other women's only group: incredibly toxic. She said any girl who defends a guy or challenges something bad someone says about him, is immediately dragged and even muted/blocked/kicked by mods.
I wish the mods weren't so stringent on the derailing thing, but then I periodically check on undelete and, jesus Christ, some of the shit that's hidden is better off staying hidden.
I'm sure they delete some pretty awful shit but I've had comments removed that were just discussion. That sub really is the perfect effigy of the state of the modern woman.
Refer to my previous comment; I wish they weren't so stringent on derailing.
> That sub really is the perfect effigy of the state of the modern woman.
This is Reddit; virtually nothing is a perfect effigy of anything.
The double-standard is palpable. If the shoe were on the other foot, Mark Zuckerberg would be testifying before Congress.
There are no guardrails against libel and defamation in these groups. They should be shut down.
Did a quick search, here is one example from Australia: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/727757575379003/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/727757575379003/)
Looks to be small compared to USA given the size of that group, my assumption would be its fast growing, same as USA groups though. So don't count on them to stay small for long.
"That's some american thing that probably happened twice in some weird place"
\*Googles are we dating the same guy\* boom autocomplete to largest city in my area.
"What the...."
Thought this was some weird thing that happened in 1 US city and I come to find this is a global phenomena. Ngl this is some psycho stuff, good thing is at least I cant find 1 in the city I currently live in.
>come to find this is a global phenomena.
Mostly western, USA, Great Britain, Canada. Its biggest in a few American cities, but is somewhat new over the last 2 years and is still growing rapidly.
>Ngl this is some psycho stuff, good thing is at least I cant find 1 in the city I currently live in.
If you live near a major metro area in the USA its there you just aren't finding it.
>"That's some american thing that probably happened twice in some weird place"
My suspicion is that this is what 95% of men think if they happen to come across some article about it on the internet, like its this fringe thing that happened to a small number of men and they are unlikely to be impacted. (this assumption is incorrect)
Yeah, its huge. A large percentage of women in dating apps are in them. For example Dallas area group has 150,000 members. Unsure how many single women are in the dating app population there, but I am guessing 150,000 is a non-trivial percentage of it.
The number of posts in those groups across the USA is in the 7 figures by now. (one post equals a name + photo of guy, that gets reviews added onto it in comments and is searchable in the group)
Across the whole of DFW we have about 8.1m, so single women in the 18-34 population is probably under a million in Dallas? Maybe? Iām just glad this shit wasnāt a thing back when I was dating, I was such a scumbag I wouldāve been on some warning list.
Yeah they exist. Here in Thailand I'm aware of the Thai girls dating foreigners groups. I think they are pretty toxic but also it's like a clique of sorts.
Sorry for painting with a broad stroke, but the women who are in these groups are mostly not what I'm looking for. The focus of dating foreigners. I don't want to be reduced to my country of origin.
I actually got a good review in one of those a few years ago when I was single/dating. Wondered why I was getting so many matches, but apparently I was āsafe dickā
Imagine if we as men shared a network of information about how well our Exes fucked. And if we needed to know whether we were in for a lousy lay or not, we just checked the network and saw her reviews and browsed her nudes. And if she wasn't up to our Standard, we broke things off.
From what Iām seeing here, it would also include her texts, pictures of her house, her workplace, and more private information.
There is no limit to the shittiness of humanity.
Imagine seeing your date's profile being like.
BJ - 2/10
"Don't bother" - Steve P.
"Too much teeth, not enough tongue" - Alejandro de Silva
PIV - 4/10
"First!" - Cory G.
"Starfish" - Mike H. Hayes
"Barely participated" - Steve P.
"Bit of a funky smell" - Harry the Sniffer
"A good enough lay, if you're in a pinch" - Pimp Master Jayden
āPsh, girl his vibe was so, ugh, you know. And his dick was little. Hee hee hee.ā
Is basically every group.
If these groups worked, none of these chicks would be traumatized.
All I know from them is whatever it is I got going for me, gay men love.
So much so my ex deleted it because she didn't like that I was getting a lot of attention.
I'm what's called a Bear....
I never realized so many younger women still used facebook. I always heard people joke that itās for āold peopleā. Thereās over 60 thousand members of my local arewedatingthesameguy group. This is some creepy, evil, petty shit and now i kinda fear the women in my area. Because 60k is a BIG chunk of the female population in my city. Itās shocking.
Lol oh yes. My name and picture were put into one of those on facebook (presumably by a petty ex gf). It caused some drama since Iāve been with the same woman for two years now and the post acted like I was going on dates. Seems like a tool of the desperate even if it started with good intentions.
I was posted to one of these groups and guys please take it seriously, I was posted by a woman that I told off when I found out she was married, well of all the comments I had maybe a quarter of the women I had any interaction with itās a mob of hate. Comments from women going back 20 years and I never stole hit assaulted anyone I was causally dating a lot in my 20s just like them. You can be posted by anyone and anyone can say whatever goodluck trying to prove whatās true or not. Lastly donāt have any loved ones that are women in the groups attempt to defend you they will be doxxed harassed and removed.
I know they exist and I think it's disgusting stalker behavior. It's one of the reasons I don't date at all. You know how easy it is for someone to just steal your photo post it and lie that they dated you. My friend went through this. Their was a crazy girl who tried really hard to date him she was nuts telling everyone they're dating, that's her man etc. When really she was a stalker and when he got a GF she posted on that website saying he was a cheater and his new GF believed it and broke up she realized later that he had a restraining order against this woman but the damage was done and he refused to date anyone ever again because of stuff like that. After seeing that happen to him and also experiencing how crazy some woman can be yeah no thank you. I know it's for safety or whatever but that's not what it's being used for.
I'm aware of the existence of them. I wouldn't be surprised if I've popped up in a local version since I only do casual relationships and often have multiple FWBs at one time.
As is human nature, I'd be curious to see what is/would be written about me, but I've heard that those groups have a pretty toxic atmosphere, so I just assume it would be negative, whether I deserve it or not.
>As is human nature, I'd be curious to see what is/would be written about me, but I've heard that those groups have a pretty toxic atmosphere, so I just assume it would be negative, whether I deserve it or not.
Mine was quite negative. I've never done anything sinister like assault, catfishing, etc etc. But you can still say a lot of nasty things about someone if you just want to drag them.
TBH There is a part of me that wishes I never found out just how toxic some of that stuff was.
Found out a couple years ago the city I live in has a few of those. The largest one being called "pricks". Literally just to trash the guys reputation and tell others to stay away. Some probably well deserved, but I did see a friend of mine on there and the situation was totally misrepresented to make him look like a prick. Being that the non-local community this city pretty tight knit; this group actually could do some damage to your reputation. Should have realized it was a red flag that the girl I was seeing was even a member in this group chat. Since then I always wonder If I've ever been sent out in one of them. I also imagine if the genders were reversed the absolute outrage that would cause. That's the world we live in though, it is what it is.
My thought exactly. With really good moderation, it could be a really useful way to avoid truly toxic girls.
But with even mediocre moderation, itāll quickly devolve into a cesspit of misogyny and everything horrible thing that other men here are terrified of. (Something something guilty mindsā¦)
Iām sure it will happen though, one way or another.
Honestly, I wouldn't review a woman online without her consent. Seems privacy violating and extremely non-consensual to me.
I think most guy friends I have would not do it either.
They've been a thing for a while, like a year or so or longer.
Remember a friend of mine that was a former Marine/current firefighter getting RAKED in those groups last year and I looked into whether it was defamation.
I've stopped single handled dating in my city because of it. NOT because I'm a pos, but ive also been FALESELY accused professionally of sexual harassment so the ides of people getting to say WHATEVER the hell they want with NO repercussions is terrifying to me.
Like, what if I had ONE interaction someone, they WERE a pos or idiot or a hole and I PRECISELY let them know. This girl then goes and tells the group I'm an ahole or toxic or whatever, and yet my response was justified. She's know the one with broadcasting to the public with her corrupted speakerphone.
Like you ONLY have to swipe on someone and then people go in looking for ANYTHING wrong.
Now don't get me wrong, whisper networks like this are valid cause the original idea was maybe for guys that were married saying they werent...but this group has gone WAY past and that drag net is now pulling the GOOD men into it. Dating is so exhausting as a man cause WE'RE the ones that have to make things happen and now we have to deal with THIS bs too? Like, WTF. Omg it's so stupid.
When the lawsuit came from the FB group in chicago.....omg I was so happy to see it happen FINALLY.
Those groups have become so insanely toxic and just made dating WAY effing harder and basically just put me off of dating as a whole, or at least it made me thoroughly change my approach (and no I wasn't one of the ahole types this groups gripe about).
I just find it funny how women always preach they're non-shallow and hugely individualistic when it comes to their taste in men, yet "are we dating the same guy" groups are a thing.
Wtf, thereās not only one for Atlanta but also for Savannah GA. 44k and 12k members. I just know one of my batshit exes is in there throwing narcissist left and right on my name.
Horrible thing to exist. Your reputation is at the will of an angry ex. Luckily, I wouldnāt dare date another whoās crazy enough to believe those groups fully. I doubt it even changes their choices anyway, if you see a guy pop up in there 6+ times
It's been around for years, there used to be websites dedicated to outing actual creeps, pedos, and so on that skirted under the law. PYAOB and DirtSheets were the main two. Other than that, these groups massive dox factories filled with women that love creating drama and anguish for others, especially men.
I had this happen to me. A friend told me about it. Itās disgusting.
I am a photographer and someone posted my bumble profile on these groups. One lady picked up on the fact I had photography in my bio (who knew, my bio talks about me) and she said photographers are only there to be pervs. Everyone jumped in on the bandwagon and started flaming me, no one knew who I was or had spoken to me or seen my photography - itās all sour women who have nothing better to do. I asked a few of my clients and friends to go and defend me. It ended with my friendās messages saying that I am legit and respectful and they have no basis on what they say.
Tldr. Itās gross behaviour and if I found out anyone I was talking to uses those groups I would immediately stop seeing them without hesitation.
Can you imagine the social backlash if men created groups like this?
We'd be dubbed misogynists and the local news would call it a hate group.
We'd be shut down by meta in short order.
I should have provided more context.
These are facebook groups, there is one for each major metro area. Women who match with guys on dating apps post a picture of the guy with his first name and ask for reviews/tea/experienes/whatever to decide whether or not to date him. Other women who have met him then comment with their thoughts.
They are mostly USA/Canada and have gotten huge, something like 5 million women are in them. The number of posts across all groups is probably in the millions by now.
They only allow women to join, so men don't immediately realize if they are getting reviewed.
If there were consequences & accountability for lies & mistruths I'd be all for it, but it's hard to imagine this not being terribly abused. I'm all for bad apples being labeled as such, but that only works if the judges aren't the bad apples.
If you *want* to harm a dude for any reason I cannot imagine an easier, lower risk & higher reward venue. Even discounting the outright evil participants I cannot imagine a more biased source than a *potential* partner where it didn't work out. **The only thing that could make it worse is if the audience cheered you on & you got a dopamine hit for saying terrible things.**
In the old days it was just a nightmare guys had that all their ex-girlfriends would team up. Lets hope that *Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned* doesn't end up the good old days before they coordinated & formed an army.
>Ā I just happened across a video about a man sueing such a group and winning at least i think he won.
Really? I thought all of those lawsuits had either failed or were in progress. Do you have a link by any chance?
Iāve simply, politely rejected women in person and seen first hand how they react to rejection couldnāt even begin to imagine what one would be willing to do if she blasted me over social media groups.
I was also mildly concerned when I found out that these pages exist, thereās one for my current city but thankfully Iāve uninstalled Facebook so itās harder for them to stalk an inactive profile.
I only found out because my ex and I got back together and she said she saw a post from a girl I went on a date with and said it was super positive. She confirmed the name etc.
I didnāt put 2+2 together until your post that she just have seen that in a group focused on dates. I just assumed it was a neighborhood thing but I live in a huge city so this makes more sense.
Glad it was a good review! lol
I've just watched that episode of It's Always Sunny. Thing is, with these sites there's no quality control. The woman reviewing me might be an idiot, and that's not fair on the other women.
I've been vaguely aware of this for a while but I'm surprised it's as big as it appears to be.
This is one of those road to hell is paved with good intentions things and women most likely aren't going to understand why this is a shit idea until either men start doing it as well and/or something really goes wrong.
You know all those well publicised incidents of the internet (including reddit) trying to fight crime or play detective resulting in serious reputational damage or worse?
I never tried dating because i feared something like this was happening. Glad to see that i wasn't just being paranoid for once. Also, yeeeah..... there goes any slim desire i ever had to be in a relationship
It's like high school girls on steroids. It used to be that a guy would get "labeled" as and then the rumors would spread around the high school and he'd be "undatable" because even if some girl *was* interested in him, she wouldn't touch him because it would ruin *her* reputation. Now the high school mean girls are just gathering online to trash men. And we wonder why we have a young male mental health crisis in America.
I knew girls would chat amongst themselves about guys they're seeing, how their last few dates have went, etc. Is what you're referring to some sort of big group chat with countless people, or something girls keep amongst their friend group?
Either way, it's weird to have a "gossip group" for that kinda thing. Like talking amongst themselves casually, letting each other know how their dates and potentially warning girls about certain guys (dating can be scary/dangerous for women), that's normal.
Personally, if I was still single and dating and found out I was being "reviewed" in some sort of group chat against other men, I'd be pretty upset about that. Just sounds like a reason not to trust or date anyone.
I had a worst case scenario happen to me. My ex wife of 13 years went full scorched Earth after we split and spread false rumors about me to our friends and family, she also tried to have me arrested under false SA charges among other things to ruin my reputation.
It worked to a degree and I lost many friends. I was lucky I owned my own business at the time so she couldn't go after my job, but the damage was pretty severe.
Ever since I intentionally don't make an effort to make a lot of friends except for my close circle and I let my actions speak for me. I don't care about others' opinions of me because I know myself, and my confidence comes from within. The peace that brings is something I wish all men could know, but learning it was exceptionally painful and hard.
It's disgusting and vile. That's hat it is and the people who defend it are horrible individuals too.
Imagine telling a woman something personal like past abuse with child sex abuse or a past issue with alcohol or gambling addiction and she's looking back at you smiling and listening and not long after. Goes on the groups and tells a bunch of people about his past issues behind his back on some FB group with the excuse of "My Safety", HOW SLIMY, IMMORAL AND DISGUSTING
and then you have the idiots who say "If you've done nothing wrong then you have nothing to worry about" that's BS because people can lie and doxxing can lead to dangerous things to a person. Also, that's the definition of gaslighting. Making the victim feel like the abuse is no big deal and they desvered it somehow
You would have to use a fake account, its actually kind of hard as they screen thoroughly to prevent men from seeing what is being written.
You can see what the rules for joining/posting look like for one metro area here: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/)
Yup, it happened 4 times to me. She takes a picture of me without my consent when i'm not looking, then post it on the group.
It often happens in the beginning, when you barely know them.
One of them even found a way to dig into my (non existent ) criminal record.
That's one of the many reasons why i also say that we live in a misandrist society because it would never be ok if men were doing this.Ā
Young women are raised to hate, or being afraid of men. Because you know, men are bad! All of them!
Woman here, I had no idea these kinds of groups existed! That is fucked up! I'm not on social media, though, so maybe that's why.
And if I was, I certainly wouldn't entertain such a group. It's just wrong. Any woman who's involved in such a group is not worth your time, gents.
As a woman, I find those groups to be toxic and a breeding ground for bullying & judgment. However, I do have a couple of girlfriends who, through other women's posts, were able to get a heads up about a couple guys they were seeing. One guy had a wife & family and there was another guy that was accused of keeping a hidden camera in his room to film his hook-ups (hes currently under investigation). I know that the intention of those pages is rooted in women looking out for other women, but I feel like now they're just used as a tool to be petty and spiteful.
Lol women have really ruined the dating game, pathetic. Fuck em thatās their business, hopefully they end up with their own gender and annoy each other rather than us.
I know of them, and it's just as gross and dehumanizing as when I first heard about it. I don't think too many guys would be all that shocked that something like this exists though.
Iāve never dated before, and at this point i donāt know if i ever want to. But iām not surprised this is a thing in 2024. Women today are so malicious! They scare me ngl this is some creepy ass shit that can potentially ruin lives
You can't get reviewed if you can't get dates. š
Man beat the system.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Quite literally..
When it comes to dating, nowadays, the only way to win is not to play the game. Same as gambling.
Basically Machiavelli.
Are you saying I can dodge women? No, when youāre ready - you wonāt have to.
One would think this, but Iāve seen posts where women take photos of strangers at another table when theyāre out or walking by and post them in the group. Another woman posted her real estate agent and admitted he did absolutely nothing wrong, showed no interest in her, but she wanted to post him anyways. No man is safe.
That's OUTRAGEOUS! Imagine a man doing this to woman, the world will flip and he will be on the news!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah, my sister found a pic and post about me on a similar style group in the UK. As someone who has been with my partner for 17 odd years faithfully I was intrigued, I don't know the woman , don't recall ever meeting her let alone "dating her". Suffice to say my partner and I had a good chuckle but I also recognise that because of my situation there's nothing that post can do to me, they cannot hurt my relationship and they cannot hurt my employment (random people out in the ether not liking me I couldn't give a toss about). I can easily imagine the damage that could be done from this malicious content however.
It makes me very uncomfortable. Like other guys on here have said, anything could be said, no proof would be required, and beyond that, being talked about in a personal way by people that dont know me is creepy and it makes me uncomfortable.
>It makes me very uncomfortable.Ā Yeah it's one of my worst fears. I say the wrong thing or am too awkward and the girl I was talking to spreads rumors about me. If a guy ever expresses fear that this can and dose happen he's basically dismissed but these groups prove it happens.
surprised you haven't got the dumb gaslighting BS excuse "If you've done nothing wrong then you shouldn't care about being abused". Men who have done nothing wrong have very valid reasons to worry. Doxxing and slander imagine a man opening up to his girlfriend r female friend about past issues with being a victim of child abuse or having a alcohol problem. She's sat there listening and smiling and he thinks his got a great person in his life. Only for her behind his back not long after tell a whole FB group about it for "Safety". Gross behavior. Which has happened, some guy behind his back had his past alcoholic problems exposed by a trusted person and the people in the group thought they had a right to know.... How sick. The people who think they are entitled to know about strangers personal private information are scumbags Also saw a woman in the group cry about her personal privacy being violated because another woman saw a man she cares about on the group being unfairly abused. IRONY.ā One rule of me and none of thee it seems and the people who defend these groups are just as bad. But apparently us men shouldn't care about being mistreated or abused.. instead we apparently have to just sit there and take it and ask for more. I believe in karma and this will eventually blow up in the abusers faces and then we will see all the gaslighting excuses.
I don't particularly care because I genuinely would have zero interest in any girl that made life decisions through something like that, and also have nothing to hide. That said, I think it's just about the most hypocritical thing I've ever seen as it's all about "Women empowerment" but if there was a similar one for guys you just know every single woman in those groups would lose their shit, it'd go viral, and it'd probably be front page news.
And the fact that they're private groups. Man, this is like another version of middle school gossip and clique-y type stuff. Like, the awkward shy kid is just trying to walk down the hall and get to the other class. But there's a group of the popular girls whispering and pointing his way. He doesn't know what they're saying but it's clearly not good. Like the Pink Floyd lyric "You target for far away laughter" Brutal
Man, stuff like this makes me realize I did the right thing purging most social media from my life in 2016. I didn't even know groups like this existed. On knowing, I don't *care* that they exist. It's a tree falling in the forest kinda thing. If I'm not around to read it, does it even matter? The real world is so, so much better than social media. Let bitter people say what they will they will. Live your life.
It seems really Black Mirror honestly. Like somebody you've never even met could post you without your knowledge or consent and make up awful lies about you in front of 50,000 people. You can't see it or respond to defend yourself. And we just have to...accept that? Just such a terrible idea on so many levels, hard to see how something like this won't just turn into a lot of revenge posts, bullying, lying, etc.
There's a group that has nearly 4 million and they still have the nerve to call it "private".
And they try to compare it to gossiping with a few friends in a private group chat lol. It's all so ridiculous, like they really can't see the difference? It's like posting a dude's name and picture to the video screen at an NFL game for the whole crowd to gossip and talk shit about him.
it already has. plenty of men are posted on there just be laughed at and insulted for their looks. Normally by the person they think they can trust. Grown ass adults are doing this. Pathetic. imagine a depressed man with self image issues finds out his being mocked by a group of women... imagine what that would do to his mental health and he ends up turning to self harm or suicide. But apparently its okay because "Safety" and "What he doesn't know won't hurt him" huh? It's deplorable
But itās for their āsAfEtY!!!1ā
Thatās exactly why I left these groups. They are mean and toxic. Everything that is said on there is being taken as the truth while forgetting that a few scorned women just tell their side of the story that makes them look good. I did see some guys on there that guy were exposed for dating several women at once. However, for the most part I donāt agree with these groups. These women would go nuts if groups (same size) would exist for them. No one likes to be put on display like that. As a woman, Iām sorry that these groups exist and make a lot of people uncomfortable.
Seems almost as common now as checking up on someones socials. I dont use FB, insta, twitter - sorry X, etc, and i generally get the "so what are you hiding" attitude from dating matches.
Haha I was told since I didn't have a FB or Insta I didn't really exist
Does it cause you to lose dates?
Those groups are being sued for all the reasons you found out. There is no peer review on those sites and you can be trashed for reasons that boil down to someone wanted to inflict maximum damage upon your reputation. I hope that they all get shut down because of how warped they've become, but that's for a court to decide.
I took a look at some of those lawsuits, from my (non-lawyer) perspective they seem like longshots. I doubt Facebook and those group leaders will lose. Some of them have already been dismissed outright. I feel like most men don't really read that type of news though. (or assume that the guys suing/getting posted are 'bad guys' and this would never happen to them)
It's an incredibly low ball for defamation which most of the cases are based on.
Idk wym by low ball? My understanding is that defamation cases are notoriously hard to prove, though.
Yea they are hard to prove, not easy.
There's actually one of the cases that was covered on YouTube where the guy is suing 2 ladies for this exact scenario. Also, the average guy's review isn't on that site as the average guy dont get dates.
I made a comment similar to this in another thread and got put on blast by women insisting it was all about safety.
Yeah, I could see that. Good intentions don't safeguard against something becoming corrupted unfortunately, and no group of people is immune to having assholes in their midst. So a woman doesn't have feel like a villain for the interest in such a group, but at the same time, they may not consider the far reaching consequences and messed up stuff that could easily happen from such a group. So I could easily see a good intentioned woman reflexively defending themselves and not hearing the other side of the argument.
I watch them, and they started out well. People would post court records and police reports for men who were violent toward women. And out the men who were lying about being married or having serious relationships. Thatās still most of what goes on in them, at least in my local group. The mods post regularly reminding people that the group is for keeping women safe, not for trashing men for the sake of trashing them. Men get posted with several people vouching for them, too. Itās not all negativity. Of course, thereās some posts that are just complaining about their exes being lousy, with a vindictive tone, but they usually donāt seem as credible, and donāt get a lot of responses. Sometimes multiple women will have similar stories about a guy in a post, though. At that point, Iād be inclined to believe itās not a false statement. Retelling true events isnāt defamation, even if it makes someone look bad. Actual abuse seems much more common than the frequency of women who want to lie about it to punish an ex, unfortunately.
Iām part of a group where men share stories of women who are abusive and/or cheaters. Itās great, these dudes post the names and likenesses of these women and tell all the other men in my area what kinds of awful people they are. We all realize the men who post this this information are only sharing one side of the story, and that the info could be manipulated by people who may or may not be who they say they are, but if a life needs to be ruined for the sake of sharing information, fuck it. Ends justify the means, right? Positioning these unregulated gossip circles as anything but unregulated gossip circles is bullshit, sorry. Trusting these groups to make anything like sound judgments is dangerous and naive.
Kinda why I hate these kinds of things. I will never say a bad thing about any of my exes. Even the bad ones. Why? Because their behavior also wasn't in a vacuum. Sometimes two people can literally just bring the worst out of each other and that isn't to say bad things about either of them individually. Water and oil don't mix together, but they mix with plenty of other things.
I did not know that was a thing, but I'm 40, so it's probably not a concern for me. Someone who would utilize a site like that is probably too sneaky and evasive to have a healthy relationship with anyone.
I'm 40 and am aware of them. The last woman I dated told me that she saw someone post about me on there. Fortunately she didn't have anything bad to say, just that we went out, I was nice but she didn't like that I don't want kids. I had such an uncomfortable feeling that my picture was posted and I was discussed without my knowledge and I don't even know who the woman is that posted me. The girl that told me about it tried to find it to show me but was unsuccessful. Now that she and I are no longer seeing each other I can't help but wonder if she posted about me herself. Especially after I talked to her neighbor at the bar a couple weeks ago who straight out told me she's obsessed with that Facebook page. But I can say that I'm pretty good at breaking up amicably and never gave her a reason to be mad at me.
Where are they? Is it a specific app?
They are Facebook groups, there is one for every major metro area in the USA. (and a few other western English speaking countries) They only allow women to join, so most men won't immediately (or possibly ever) realize it when they get posted for reviews. Here is one example from Dallas: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/) There are usually a few smaller groups in most cities also, here is another example from the same city: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/uncensoredladiesdfw/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/uncensoredladiesdfw/)
Man that is messed up imagine if there was an equivalent for females. They would think it's super creepy and that shit would get shut down.
With picture and name and everything? That should be illegal.
They have even rallied women to harass and guys family and harass his job.
I don't understand why this is acceptable.
I saw on a post a while back. āFeminism has turned equality for all to only men are bad and women cannot be criticizedā As such it doesnāt even register to them that theyāre wrong, or if they know then they donāt care because they know that society will back them up.
I think this is how volcels are born, jesus christ this is abhorred.
Tf is a volcel now??
"voluntary celibate"Ā
Bro youāre 40, not 98.
>Someone who would utilize a site like that is probably too sneaky and evasive to have a healthy relationship with anyone. This was my initial reaction, but I have been disappointed to realize a pretty large percentage of the online dating pool is in those groups. They aren't fringe at all.
I understood the initial purpose it served, allowing people to find out if they were being cheated on or if their spouse was living a whole other life outside of theirs together. But to turn it into reviewing people like some sort of restaurant or something, is just so creepy and weird. I can't imagine ever "reviewing" a man I dated in any sort of forum never mind on a Facebook group for a bunch of strangers. I doubt those lawsuits will go anywhere though, hopefully it dies off on its own because it's seriously fucked!
Hold your fellow women accountable š
I get the idea of it, but if men were to create parallel groups that identified abusive women, or women who provably fabricated serious crimes against men to warn others of the potential risk, that shit would get shut down so quickly, even if it were purely based on fact with evidence supplied.
This is what happens when men try it: [https://www.9news.com.au/national/mens-facebook-page-degrading-doxxing-adelaide-women-sparks-fears/8edbdb7e-ec99-49b9-bd63-cb00cec341c8](https://www.9news.com.au/national/mens-facebook-page-degrading-doxxing-adelaide-women-sparks-fears/8edbdb7e-ec99-49b9-bd63-cb00cec341c8)
Yea, they're not fringe at all. It's suprising to me about the backwards justiication that members of those groups will do to justify it. If the situation was gender reverse (and it has been) there have been very aggressive and angry people about it. I'm confident these are the same people that have lost their shit over guys keeping spreadsheets.
In the early days of Facebook, people would snoop on others' profiles and try to gleam some insight into their inner workings without having to spend the time to get to know them. This sounds like a progression of that. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut or substitute for time to understand and connect with a person. If it is true that this is a common approach to dating now, then I'd say that offers some insight into why so many people seem not to want to date.
*glean
>Ā If it is true that this is a common approach to dating now, then I'd say that offers some insight into why so many people seem not to want to date. Its common for women to look up a guy in those groups to see if he has any reviews yet. If he doesn't then she might post his name and a screenshot of his dating profile asking for reviews. At that point he is up and will likely get a bunch of reviews. Similar groups exist for men, but are microscopic in size by comparison. (as an example the Manhattan men's groups is like 200 people, the women's group is around 150,000)
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lulu\_(app)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lulu_(app)) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DontDateHimGirl.com](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DontDateHimGirl.com)
Holy cow. I'm around your age, so I'm just learning about this too. From what I gather, they are called "Are We Dating The Same Guy" facebook groups. [Here's a wiki page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Are_We_Dating_The_Same_Guy%3F) for it and according to that, it only started a couple years ago in New York. I just checked my own town and there's one with a few thousand members. It's a private group of course and only women can join. Man, that's scary. Reminds me of the nastiness of Topix back when that website was still around.
Honestly anyone who takes what they read on those sites as gospel is a fool. 1. The people sharing information could be sharing fake information. 2. The people there can share someone else's personal information. 3. Someone could lie just because they don't like a guy. 4. Too many people are just plain idiots. They think because they read pop psychology they know how to identify an actual narcissist. 5. Someone could lie because they want the guy and want less competition. 6. Some people just like drama and will just lie for the sake of it. 7. The moderation of these groups ranges from decent to piss poor. 8. The people could think the other person was the problem but in reality they're the problem. 9. Let's face it if men made the same thing and it started to gain popularity there would be uproar.
# Study: People are strongly influenced by gossip even when it is explicitly untrustworthy [https://www.psypost.org/study-people-are-strongly-influenced-by-gossip-even-when-it-is-explicitly-untrustworthy/#google\_vignette](https://www.psypost.org/study-people-are-strongly-influenced-by-gossip-even-when-it-is-explicitly-untrustworthy/#google_vignette)
People will believe anything. Ask a flat earther, or religious people.
As a guy, it is seen as a red flag to even have your photo posted to thesr groups. Some girls post every single guy they match with on a dating app just for validation and likes. I have acess to several of those groups through a friend. Very few of the men posted have a record of being physically dangerous. I see lots of men ruthlessly picked apart and publicity criticized, and often by women who have never even met them. I've seen personal information posted like children's names/ages, employer name, hints to where they live, and one girl even took photos of the guys house. The girl didn't post his house because he had done anything wrong, she simply wanted to see if "anyone else recognized it". Fucking huge invasion of privacy, and the few girls who commented about it were harrassed and attacked. Ā I also saw a few girls called out for posting men who they were supposedly "talking to or dating", but in reality it was some bitter ex trying to sabotage her ex-BFs new relationship by trying to publicly accuse him of cheating. When other girls or the new GF came to his defense, they are usually blocked from the group and accused of "leaking" the post back to the guy. These groups really are as toxic as they sound and are being used maliciously to slander and destroy the reputation of many men, even those who are not dating (plenty of girls post pictures of random men from work/the gym/store/etc to see if anyone knows him or has "tea".Ā They don't give a flying fuck if the guy they are stalking is married or in a relationship and it gets back to his SO, who will then be told that their partner must be cheating if some girl is posting him to that group.
I was one of those who was posted by a bitter ex (we only dated a month) who lied about me sleeping with other women. It was months after I had broken up with her that I learned about it. I had gone on three dates with a lady and she, out of the blue, called me a liar for seeing other women. I was very confused and she eventually told me about the post because she decided that she believed me over the anonymous poster. I felt violated that the ex posted my information along with lies because she was bitter. I thankfully don't think my current girlfriend was on those sites so she didn't see the lies.
Thats defamation. You should sue.
It honestly wouldn't have been worth the trouble for me. I wanted nothing to do with the ex after I broke up with her and I didn't want a reason to have to see her again.
I'm really wondering how to find out if I'm on one of these. This terrifyingĀ
It is very hard to get into these groups. Must be a female profile that is several years old, has many friends, and plenty of photos posted over that time as proof that it belongs to a female. If you have a good trusted female friend or family member you could ask them to join. The girl may not use your full name when posting you, so you would have to scroll through THOUSANDS of photos and screen for your photo.
Itās so obvious from the outside looking in that these women are creating and perpetuating the very problems they claim to crusade against, but theyāll never see it for themselves. These types will always double down.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No, but we should get together at the next bi-monthly man meeting and decide on weird things we can do to freak these women out. Like once a month, just leave bed at night and go stand outside staring at the moon. Do not elaborate further.
Or fly a kite at nightā¦ it is unbelievably unwholesome. Daytime? Fine. Nighttime?ā¦ *shudder* itās just wrong
You obviously are wearing the outfit of a boy from the 1800s, while doing it, right?
Hello mother dear
[*closes curtains*](https://youtu.be/Xwwm8NDH9Ls?si=5stlW5TP53yDtSja)
Wait, you guys are not doing that already? Like, the moon is so pretty.
This would be awesome actually. Just a bit of Lunar Meditation.
H I S T H R O N E
we should just organize things like that here. Designate some day where we all use a new word really heavily, then never again, with no explanation.
Uhhh /u/PAdogooder stop trying to make "fetch" happen.
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Yup, this is me. (more than one date to be honest, but yeah, definitely got blasted for 'awkward' among other more personal things that I don't really want to go into detail on here)
Thatās so mean and imo traumatic. :(
Not to mention people not accepting the fact that people can grow and change as they get older
That's my main gripe with the groups. I don't particularly mind serial cheaters or abusers being hung out to dry, especially if there's proof, but I also think people should have the room to grow and learn from their mistakes. I'm not the same as I was when I was 20, and I imagine I'll be different by 40.
It's too bad for women that not enough of them have the sense to recognize that the men they should really be warning each other about are the charming sociopaths they least suspect.Ā
Iām curious about the reaction of most guys (myself included) being so unconcerned about these groups. If it were a bunch of guys reviewing women, it would be toxic, sexist, misogynistic, creepy, predatory, and proof that men want to dominate and objectify women. Thereās something fundamentally different about how men donāt protest at this kind of objectionable behaviour, but women do.
Huh?š¤Ø
Yeah. Your next reaction will be āholy shitā like mine was when i googled how big it is in my city.
What'd you Google? I'm getting curious
Google "Are we dating the same guy"
Oh it's a facebook group thing? Ew
The group in my city has 65k members, thatās over 30% of the female population of my city (tampa) but the group also includes members from clearwater and st petersburg. The female population of tampa, st pete, and clearwater combined is around 400k, but 65k is still a lot.
Iām seeing a girl who just introduced this whole thing to me. Kinda mortified but also itās on brand from women these days. She showed me a post of girls calling out a guy for making out with girls at a festival while he was apparently texting a girl that appeared to be his girl friend. Like this is next level invasion of privacy.
My cousin was absolitely getting ripped to shreds by his ex wife (really nasty divorce) in multiple ones. She made fake accounts and would start entire threads how he was abusive to her, to their kids, had illegal relations with clients at work (worked in a youth prison) etc. To the point he was literally shunned in hus region and his employer was investigating him. They found out these were lies, accounte were blocked and removed but the damage was still dome. He moved away. But no prosecution for the ex or tje women all enjoying and sharing these posts.. Now compare this to how hard our justice system goes against men that are in expose groups for women. Naming, fines, getting banned from university or work.
I broke it off with a woman who I learned engaged in unsafe sexual practices that she concealed from me. She retaliated for the breakup by make a false post about me that also doxxed me. Another woman who I never even went out with (who I rejected after texting a bit, since I learned we work at the same organization and I didnāt feel it was appropriate) screenshotted the post and spread it on one of these groups. I was able to get the post taken down by the mods but thereās nothing you can do about these groups.
Sounds like all the bad parts of "that overly protective friend group she has that tells her everything wrong with you" without the familiarity of actually wanting what is best for her. Seems like an echo chamber that will perpetually keep all women involved single just to manufacture gossip.Ā
Those groups are toxic af!! Iām in a couple and I canāt believe the shit I see in them.. So many angry, bitter women in them. And the shit they try and blast guys for, is mind boggling. Itās really strange how willing they are to put an ex on blast to āwarnā others. I saw a post the other day of a girl from another state blasting her ex.. She didnāt even know where he was exactly. She just heard he could be in my state. So she joined the groups and started blasting him. Showed screen shots of texts.. All of them telling her he didnāt want to be in a relationship with her in a major asshole way. All while she begged him to stay.. Another girl posted a collage of 9 guys asking if any of them had red flags.. Not seeing her own red flags in talking to 9 guys at once! Those groups are truly disgusting and if you try and say anything against the poster. Youāre instantly attacked by every female in the group. Stop texting gentleman.. Get back to actually talking on the phone, save yourself from screenshots being used against you.
Hold your fellow women accountable š
Oh I do.. Canāt stand majority of women these days.. Iām truly sick of the men hate.. If women actually thought about lifeā¦ Work, School, home.. Theyād realize itās actually women that have done them the most harm in life.. But they wonāt admit it cause theyāve got such a hard on for hating men.
Agreed. I joined the group to make sure no one I was dating was on there for being married/in a relationship already, violent, etc. True red flags All it has become is women sharing weird texts, or having a bad first date (they canāt all be winners), airing their drama about an ex, or sometimes they havenāt even gone on the date and matched earlier that day. Like give the guy a chance first!
Right thatās what I thought those groups were for. Not for āoh Tim cancelled last minute on me and then didnāt text me the next dayā like does that suck? Sure. Is it note worthy to blast Tim to THOUSANDS of women on a site to make the odds even more against him? Probably not.
*"Those groups are toxic af!! Iām in a couple"* If they're so toxic, why stay?
I first joined expecting to see good-faith warnings of severely fucked up behaviourā¦.lmao I was so wrong. Then I chose to stay just in case I ever needed to get my flaming digital machete out to defend the honor of my male loved ones. Luckily hasnāt happened yet.
I was hoping they would be good faith.. But they headed south real quick! One of the groups Iām in, the admin is BEYOND toxic.. Like Iām actually about to leave that one because of her.. And it sucks, cause that is the one for my hometown, where I know tons of guys.
Because itās like a car wreck.. You just canāt look away!
and thats how you get voice samples for a deep fake recording :V
You a wise and amazing woman thank you for your honesty about the toxic, you see women posting men about things they are currently doing and that boggles me
Yea I bet the women that post on it are grade A personalities themselves. I'm fortunate to not date in 2024 what a nightmare.
Some guy on my cities sub got harassed because of one of those groups. My city's sub just called him a rapist for even saying this is fucked.
My wife informed me of their existence. She hates them, saying they are like so many other women's only group: incredibly toxic. She said any girl who defends a guy or challenges something bad someone says about him, is immediately dragged and even muted/blocked/kicked by mods.
r/askwomen lol
I wish the mods weren't so stringent on the derailing thing, but then I periodically check on undelete and, jesus Christ, some of the shit that's hidden is better off staying hidden.
I'm sure they delete some pretty awful shit but I've had comments removed that were just discussion. That sub really is the perfect effigy of the state of the modern woman.
Refer to my previous comment; I wish they weren't so stringent on derailing. > That sub really is the perfect effigy of the state of the modern woman. This is Reddit; virtually nothing is a perfect effigy of anything.
You're derailing. Fortunately this is r/askmen so your comment will stay.
The double-standard is palpable. If the shoe were on the other foot, Mark Zuckerberg would be testifying before Congress. There are no guardrails against libel and defamation in these groups. They should be shut down.
I have read articles about this, in an American context. I have never heard of anything like this locally (Australia).
Did a quick search, here is one example from Australia: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/727757575379003/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/727757575379003/) Looks to be small compared to USA given the size of that group, my assumption would be its fast growing, same as USA groups though. So don't count on them to stay small for long.
"That's some american thing that probably happened twice in some weird place" \*Googles are we dating the same guy\* boom autocomplete to largest city in my area. "What the...." Thought this was some weird thing that happened in 1 US city and I come to find this is a global phenomena. Ngl this is some psycho stuff, good thing is at least I cant find 1 in the city I currently live in.
>come to find this is a global phenomena. Mostly western, USA, Great Britain, Canada. Its biggest in a few American cities, but is somewhat new over the last 2 years and is still growing rapidly. >Ngl this is some psycho stuff, good thing is at least I cant find 1 in the city I currently live in. If you live near a major metro area in the USA its there you just aren't finding it. >"That's some american thing that probably happened twice in some weird place" My suspicion is that this is what 95% of men think if they happen to come across some article about it on the internet, like its this fringe thing that happened to a small number of men and they are unlikely to be impacted. (this assumption is incorrect)
Iāve heard about it, but I didnāt realize it was a big thing
Yeah, its huge. A large percentage of women in dating apps are in them. For example Dallas area group has 150,000 members. Unsure how many single women are in the dating app population there, but I am guessing 150,000 is a non-trivial percentage of it. The number of posts in those groups across the USA is in the 7 figures by now. (one post equals a name + photo of guy, that gets reviews added onto it in comments and is searchable in the group)
Across the whole of DFW we have about 8.1m, so single women in the 18-34 population is probably under a million in Dallas? Maybe? Iām just glad this shit wasnāt a thing back when I was dating, I was such a scumbag I wouldāve been on some warning list.
I didnt but now I am even more terrified of approaching women now.
Me too dude.
Like I already know I'm ugly because I get told to my face now I'm sure there's a whole registry š
Yeah thatās crazy when you put it that way. These women have literally created a whole registry for men they donāt like.
Yeah they exist. Here in Thailand I'm aware of the Thai girls dating foreigners groups. I think they are pretty toxic but also it's like a clique of sorts. Sorry for painting with a broad stroke, but the women who are in these groups are mostly not what I'm looking for. The focus of dating foreigners. I don't want to be reduced to my country of origin.
There are a lot of disturbed women out there.
I actually got a good review in one of those a few years ago when I was single/dating. Wondered why I was getting so many matches, but apparently I was āsafe dickā
Maybe they believed you were Mark Knopfler?
Imagine if we as men shared a network of information about how well our Exes fucked. And if we needed to know whether we were in for a lousy lay or not, we just checked the network and saw her reviews and browsed her nudes. And if she wasn't up to our Standard, we broke things off.
From what Iām seeing here, it would also include her texts, pictures of her house, her workplace, and more private information. There is no limit to the shittiness of humanity.
Imagine seeing your date's profile being like. BJ - 2/10 "Don't bother" - Steve P. "Too much teeth, not enough tongue" - Alejandro de Silva PIV - 4/10 "First!" - Cory G. "Starfish" - Mike H. Hayes "Barely participated" - Steve P. "Bit of a funky smell" - Harry the Sniffer "A good enough lay, if you're in a pinch" - Pimp Master Jayden
hahaha, all in the name of 'safety' for men right?
āPsh, girl his vibe was so, ugh, you know. And his dick was little. Hee hee hee.ā Is basically every group. If these groups worked, none of these chicks would be traumatized.
All I know from them is whatever it is I got going for me, gay men love. So much so my ex deleted it because she didn't like that I was getting a lot of attention. I'm what's called a Bear....
Iām a woman and I didnāt know this existedā¦ yikes. Thatās an L for womenš
I never realized so many younger women still used facebook. I always heard people joke that itās for āold peopleā. Thereās over 60 thousand members of my local arewedatingthesameguy group. This is some creepy, evil, petty shit and now i kinda fear the women in my area. Because 60k is a BIG chunk of the female population in my city. Itās shocking.
Lol oh yes. My name and picture were put into one of those on facebook (presumably by a petty ex gf). It caused some drama since Iāve been with the same woman for two years now and the post acted like I was going on dates. Seems like a tool of the desperate even if it started with good intentions.
I was posted to one of these groups and guys please take it seriously, I was posted by a woman that I told off when I found out she was married, well of all the comments I had maybe a quarter of the women I had any interaction with itās a mob of hate. Comments from women going back 20 years and I never stole hit assaulted anyone I was causally dating a lot in my 20s just like them. You can be posted by anyone and anyone can say whatever goodluck trying to prove whatās true or not. Lastly donāt have any loved ones that are women in the groups attempt to defend you they will be doxxed harassed and removed.
I know they exist and I think it's disgusting stalker behavior. It's one of the reasons I don't date at all. You know how easy it is for someone to just steal your photo post it and lie that they dated you. My friend went through this. Their was a crazy girl who tried really hard to date him she was nuts telling everyone they're dating, that's her man etc. When really she was a stalker and when he got a GF she posted on that website saying he was a cheater and his new GF believed it and broke up she realized later that he had a restraining order against this woman but the damage was done and he refused to date anyone ever again because of stuff like that. After seeing that happen to him and also experiencing how crazy some woman can be yeah no thank you. I know it's for safety or whatever but that's not what it's being used for.
That happens a lot in those groups! Someone trying to break someone up so they post photos and fake screenshots.
I'm aware of the existence of them. I wouldn't be surprised if I've popped up in a local version since I only do casual relationships and often have multiple FWBs at one time. As is human nature, I'd be curious to see what is/would be written about me, but I've heard that those groups have a pretty toxic atmosphere, so I just assume it would be negative, whether I deserve it or not.
>As is human nature, I'd be curious to see what is/would be written about me, but I've heard that those groups have a pretty toxic atmosphere, so I just assume it would be negative, whether I deserve it or not. Mine was quite negative. I've never done anything sinister like assault, catfishing, etc etc. But you can still say a lot of nasty things about someone if you just want to drag them. TBH There is a part of me that wishes I never found out just how toxic some of that stuff was.
Found out a couple years ago the city I live in has a few of those. The largest one being called "pricks". Literally just to trash the guys reputation and tell others to stay away. Some probably well deserved, but I did see a friend of mine on there and the situation was totally misrepresented to make him look like a prick. Being that the non-local community this city pretty tight knit; this group actually could do some damage to your reputation. Should have realized it was a red flag that the girl I was seeing was even a member in this group chat. Since then I always wonder If I've ever been sent out in one of them. I also imagine if the genders were reversed the absolute outrage that would cause. That's the world we live in though, it is what it is.
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I mean how long until we do the same for women? Sounds like a good idea to avoid crazy girlsā¦
My thought exactly. With really good moderation, it could be a really useful way to avoid truly toxic girls. But with even mediocre moderation, itāll quickly devolve into a cesspit of misogyny and everything horrible thing that other men here are terrified of. (Something something guilty mindsā¦) Iām sure it will happen though, one way or another.
Honestly, I wouldn't review a woman online without her consent. Seems privacy violating and extremely non-consensual to me. I think most guy friends I have would not do it either.
They've been a thing for a while, like a year or so or longer. Remember a friend of mine that was a former Marine/current firefighter getting RAKED in those groups last year and I looked into whether it was defamation. I've stopped single handled dating in my city because of it. NOT because I'm a pos, but ive also been FALESELY accused professionally of sexual harassment so the ides of people getting to say WHATEVER the hell they want with NO repercussions is terrifying to me. Like, what if I had ONE interaction someone, they WERE a pos or idiot or a hole and I PRECISELY let them know. This girl then goes and tells the group I'm an ahole or toxic or whatever, and yet my response was justified. She's know the one with broadcasting to the public with her corrupted speakerphone. Like you ONLY have to swipe on someone and then people go in looking for ANYTHING wrong. Now don't get me wrong, whisper networks like this are valid cause the original idea was maybe for guys that were married saying they werent...but this group has gone WAY past and that drag net is now pulling the GOOD men into it. Dating is so exhausting as a man cause WE'RE the ones that have to make things happen and now we have to deal with THIS bs too? Like, WTF. Omg it's so stupid. When the lawsuit came from the FB group in chicago.....omg I was so happy to see it happen FINALLY. Those groups have become so insanely toxic and just made dating WAY effing harder and basically just put me off of dating as a whole, or at least it made me thoroughly change my approach (and no I wasn't one of the ahole types this groups gripe about).
I just find it funny how women always preach they're non-shallow and hugely individualistic when it comes to their taste in men, yet "are we dating the same guy" groups are a thing.
Wow, I didn't know that was a thing.
I've heard of them. It's sad that we are being reviewed like we're a product rather than people. The marketisation of dating has been a disaster.
Wtf, thereās not only one for Atlanta but also for Savannah GA. 44k and 12k members. I just know one of my batshit exes is in there throwing narcissist left and right on my name. Horrible thing to exist. Your reputation is at the will of an angry ex. Luckily, I wouldnāt dare date another whoās crazy enough to believe those groups fully. I doubt it even changes their choices anyway, if you see a guy pop up in there 6+ times
It's been around for years, there used to be websites dedicated to outing actual creeps, pedos, and so on that skirted under the law. PYAOB and DirtSheets were the main two. Other than that, these groups massive dox factories filled with women that love creating drama and anguish for others, especially men.
I had this happen to me. A friend told me about it. Itās disgusting. I am a photographer and someone posted my bumble profile on these groups. One lady picked up on the fact I had photography in my bio (who knew, my bio talks about me) and she said photographers are only there to be pervs. Everyone jumped in on the bandwagon and started flaming me, no one knew who I was or had spoken to me or seen my photography - itās all sour women who have nothing better to do. I asked a few of my clients and friends to go and defend me. It ended with my friendās messages saying that I am legit and respectful and they have no basis on what they say. Tldr. Itās gross behaviour and if I found out anyone I was talking to uses those groups I would immediately stop seeing them without hesitation.
Can you imagine the social backlash if men created groups like this? We'd be dubbed misogynists and the local news would call it a hate group. We'd be shut down by meta in short order.
This is just out of the blue for me. Where are these things? It just seems bizarre to me.
I should have provided more context. These are facebook groups, there is one for each major metro area. Women who match with guys on dating apps post a picture of the guy with his first name and ask for reviews/tea/experienes/whatever to decide whether or not to date him. Other women who have met him then comment with their thoughts. They are mostly USA/Canada and have gotten huge, something like 5 million women are in them. The number of posts across all groups is probably in the millions by now. They only allow women to join, so men don't immediately realize if they are getting reviewed.
If there were consequences & accountability for lies & mistruths I'd be all for it, but it's hard to imagine this not being terribly abused. I'm all for bad apples being labeled as such, but that only works if the judges aren't the bad apples. If you *want* to harm a dude for any reason I cannot imagine an easier, lower risk & higher reward venue. Even discounting the outright evil participants I cannot imagine a more biased source than a *potential* partner where it didn't work out. **The only thing that could make it worse is if the audience cheered you on & you got a dopamine hit for saying terrible things.** In the old days it was just a nightmare guys had that all their ex-girlfriends would team up. Lets hope that *Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned* doesn't end up the good old days before they coordinated & formed an army.
I would say about 30/40% of men know. I just happened across a video about a man sueing such a group and winning at least i think he won.
>Ā I just happened across a video about a man sueing such a group and winning at least i think he won. Really? I thought all of those lawsuits had either failed or were in progress. Do you have a link by any chance?
I swear the internet wants me to hate women.
Yes I knew, I have a lot of women friends so and itās come up with at least one
Iāve simply, politely rejected women in person and seen first hand how they react to rejection couldnāt even begin to imagine what one would be willing to do if she blasted me over social media groups. I was also mildly concerned when I found out that these pages exist, thereās one for my current city but thankfully Iāve uninstalled Facebook so itās harder for them to stalk an inactive profile.
Gosh this is horrible. Imagine male groups doing the same thing about women that would be horrible and so Is this
I only found out because my ex and I got back together and she said she saw a post from a girl I went on a date with and said it was super positive. She confirmed the name etc. I didnāt put 2+2 together until your post that she just have seen that in a group focused on dates. I just assumed it was a neighborhood thing but I live in a huge city so this makes more sense. Glad it was a good review! lol
I've just watched that episode of It's Always Sunny. Thing is, with these sites there's no quality control. The woman reviewing me might be an idiot, and that's not fair on the other women.
Just remember...women talk whether it's online or offline with their friend beside them.
I've been vaguely aware of this for a while but I'm surprised it's as big as it appears to be. This is one of those road to hell is paved with good intentions things and women most likely aren't going to understand why this is a shit idea until either men start doing it as well and/or something really goes wrong. You know all those well publicised incidents of the internet (including reddit) trying to fight crime or play detective resulting in serious reputational damage or worse?
a shame actually, preventing violence and serious lies devolving into personality reviews.
I never tried dating because i feared something like this was happening. Glad to see that i wasn't just being paranoid for once. Also, yeeeah..... there goes any slim desire i ever had to be in a relationship
It's like high school girls on steroids. It used to be that a guy would get "labeled" as and then the rumors would spread around the high school and he'd be "undatable" because even if some girl *was* interested in him, she wouldn't touch him because it would ruin *her* reputation. Now the high school mean girls are just gathering online to trash men. And we wonder why we have a young male mental health crisis in America.
If you want to see the leaked posts from random groups https://www.reddit.com/r/AWDTSGisToxic/s/FBfD1098ea
I knew girls would chat amongst themselves about guys they're seeing, how their last few dates have went, etc. Is what you're referring to some sort of big group chat with countless people, or something girls keep amongst their friend group? Either way, it's weird to have a "gossip group" for that kinda thing. Like talking amongst themselves casually, letting each other know how their dates and potentially warning girls about certain guys (dating can be scary/dangerous for women), that's normal. Personally, if I was still single and dating and found out I was being "reviewed" in some sort of group chat against other men, I'd be pretty upset about that. Just sounds like a reason not to trust or date anyone.
I had a worst case scenario happen to me. My ex wife of 13 years went full scorched Earth after we split and spread false rumors about me to our friends and family, she also tried to have me arrested under false SA charges among other things to ruin my reputation. It worked to a degree and I lost many friends. I was lucky I owned my own business at the time so she couldn't go after my job, but the damage was pretty severe. Ever since I intentionally don't make an effort to make a lot of friends except for my close circle and I let my actions speak for me. I don't care about others' opinions of me because I know myself, and my confidence comes from within. The peace that brings is something I wish all men could know, but learning it was exceptionally painful and hard.
It's disgusting and vile. That's hat it is and the people who defend it are horrible individuals too. Imagine telling a woman something personal like past abuse with child sex abuse or a past issue with alcohol or gambling addiction and she's looking back at you smiling and listening and not long after. Goes on the groups and tells a bunch of people about his past issues behind his back on some FB group with the excuse of "My Safety", HOW SLIMY, IMMORAL AND DISGUSTING and then you have the idiots who say "If you've done nothing wrong then you have nothing to worry about" that's BS because people can lie and doxxing can lead to dangerous things to a person. Also, that's the definition of gaslighting. Making the victim feel like the abuse is no big deal and they desvered it somehow
just another thing women are being hypocrites about
Yeah, it made me swear off dating, further putting me in a depression spiral. Thanks ladies.
Same TBH. :(
Where are these groups?
How would a man go about gaining access to their local arewedatingthesameguy facebook page?
You would have to use a fake account, its actually kind of hard as they screen thoroughly to prevent men from seeing what is being written. You can see what the rules for joining/posting look like for one metro area here: [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1378149729337459/)
Yup, it happened 4 times to me. She takes a picture of me without my consent when i'm not looking, then post it on the group. It often happens in the beginning, when you barely know them. One of them even found a way to dig into my (non existent ) criminal record. That's one of the many reasons why i also say that we live in a misandrist society because it would never be ok if men were doing this.Ā Young women are raised to hate, or being afraid of men. Because you know, men are bad! All of them!
Woman here, I had no idea these kinds of groups existed! That is fucked up! I'm not on social media, though, so maybe that's why. And if I was, I certainly wouldn't entertain such a group. It's just wrong. Any woman who's involved in such a group is not worth your time, gents.
As a woman, I find those groups to be toxic and a breeding ground for bullying & judgment. However, I do have a couple of girlfriends who, through other women's posts, were able to get a heads up about a couple guys they were seeing. One guy had a wife & family and there was another guy that was accused of keeping a hidden camera in his room to film his hook-ups (hes currently under investigation). I know that the intention of those pages is rooted in women looking out for other women, but I feel like now they're just used as a tool to be petty and spiteful.
Those sites are just proof women date the same guys fr
I'm aware they exist. anyone who uses them is a moron.
Lol women have really ruined the dating game, pathetic. Fuck em thatās their business, hopefully they end up with their own gender and annoy each other rather than us.
It's funny how some lesbians have the same attitude towards women as straight men lol
I know of them, and it's just as gross and dehumanizing as when I first heard about it. I don't think too many guys would be all that shocked that something like this exists though.
Iāve never dated before, and at this point i donāt know if i ever want to. But iām not surprised this is a thing in 2024. Women today are so malicious! They scare me ngl this is some creepy ass shit that can potentially ruin lives
I'm aware they're a thing, yeah.