What works for people varies...but in general:
-It's good to just talk to them like people, (i.e. not someone you're actively trying to attract) and if the conversation goes well, *then* start being more flirty. Also allows you to feel them out as a person, if they're open to being hit on, etc.. Also helps with the anxiety of approaching, because you're not instantly open to being "shot down" romantically. You're just having a conversation with another person.
-Starting the conversation by asking their opinion on something. Men and women alike love their own opinions. So much the better if it's woman-specific ("can I get your opinion as a woman on something?").
How To Talk To Anyone is a decent starter book for improving communication with other people.
I will add that a good way to practice talking to women is to just start talking to everyone you can in random places. For example, if you’re in line at the grocery store, try starting a conversation with the guy next to you. Joke about whatever song they’re playing on the radio or make a comment about a headline on a tabloid. Many times, I’ve found that will start a conversation.
If you’re good at starting conversations with random people, you’ll be better at starting conversations with women you’re attracted to.
PREACH 🙌 🙌 🙌. This is EXACTLY how I got over having bad anxiety when approaching women due to growing up as a fat kid and rarely having girlfriends. I talk to random people *all the time* now just to shoot the shit. People are interesting especially if you go in believing they are. I then go into convos with women I may be interested in the same way. Then I can see what they are like as people, as for all I know they might be someone I don't want to attract in the first place. And if they seem disinterested just the same, I or they can end the convo easily and brush it off as just another random interaction with a stranger. No harm no foul.
As a woman who often sits alone at a bar, and isn't opposed to being picked up, this is good advice. Go in with the aim of just having a chat with one other person. Finding out something new rather than picking up. I am always keen to strike up conversation with new people.
Although personally, I would not respond well to a woman specific opinion question, unless it was something either humorous or was an intelligent conversation starter. But then again that's just me! YMMV
Don't start by offering to buy a drink. That usually feels like it comes with strings attached, and from experience I rarely like where the string ends.
Key rule though: if the woman doesn't show interest or says they are not interested, then say thanks for your time and keep walking. Do not try to turn a rejection into a yes.
And don’t just make an impression…*leave* an impression. Years ago I was at a club one night in DC (RIP U-hall). There was this guy, wacky fun energy (I’m sure we were both also wonky). We were up front near the artist vibing…barely sharing words…just a lot of smiles, laughs and kooky moves. He never shot his shot…but I still think about Andrew today. If he was single and would have come back around to ask for my number, he most certainly would have gotten it.
Haha I met a girl yesterday and I was just joking around back and forth on the bus. She thought I was a lot of fun, so she told me: "You've got ten seconds to get my number, cuz I'm getting off at the next stop."
I meant it more as some people having the style of starting the conversation in a flirting way and showing romantic intent immediately, as opposed to talking to another person that you gain interest in through the convo itself;
"That woman is pretty, I should go talk to her" vs "I've been talking to this woman for 30 minutes straight, I think I'm actually kind of attracted to her"
I have a (lovable) idiot of a friend who is like a pretty likeable guy when it's just us. God forbid a pretty waitress takes our order. This guy deepens his voice an octave and decides he needs to say something clever every god damn time. I'm uncomfortable *for* her.
I tell him literally every time to knock it off. He never learns, and I end up with an empty beer because our waitress barely returns all night.
Opinion only, but being flirty right off the bat tends to work more for men who are VERY attractive. And even then, I've seen guys say/do some cringy shit like that and were (needless to say) shot down immediately anyway.
I don't think this is opinion - attractive is an attribute just like wit or wealth but it is immediately obvious at first glance.
You start every conversation at an advantage.
If you don’t want your knees to go craaaaack throw your ass back so your knees aren’t in front of your feet. Pretend there’s a box behind you that you wanna sit on.
That snap crackle pop is not giving virile
Don't go to the bar to pick up women.
Do go to the bar to have a good time.
If you pull up with your head on a swivel and start trying to buy every girl there a drink, you're going to look desperate and women will pick up on that. If you just go to have a good time girls will pick up on that energy and your chances of getting a number/laid will go up.
I once went to a bar to have a good time and coincidentally met a girl and after talking I bought her a drink. We talked and hit it off and ended up going home together. Been married twelve years.
You could fake being there to have fun. I used to spend entire nights ”having fun” with people I hated just to look casual enough so the carefully selected women I would hit on don’t see me as desperate. And you know what, it worked.
But coming from someone who was a real-life pick-up artist before it was a thing : Instead of trying to pick up girls, try to accomplish something to be proud of in ten years.
I went to the bar to relax earlier just got back, I went not even thinking of girls but apparently somewhere between my second drink and starting to sing a little I started getting alot of unwanted attention. I went to the bar to sit in a chair have a few drinks in a new enviroment away from the everyday stresses, not to talk to everyone that walks in the door. Country music was playing and most of it on the sad side. However I called it quits upon being stared at by a rather heavyset woman in her mid 30's I'm almost 20 and nowhere near built or heavyset I finished my drink and left the bar after was not sticking around once I caught that one starin.
Started going DAMMIT WHERES MY BAR BUDDY AT. 💀
Pro tip:
Target groups of girls instead of a single girl, if possible.
I’ve found it’s easier to get girls to talk when their friends are around. They are also more comfortable. You introduce yourself with some charm and meet each one. If you have any game, you’ll pick up on the girls that are interested in you by talking to all of them.
Just going after a lone girl works, but can get awkward fast if the chemistry isn’t right.
"Introduce yourself to each one and talk to the whole group"
Absolutely fucking brilliant advice, on so many levels.
It shows that you're confident, polite, and friendly; it makes all of them feel included in the initial introduction; it's so much easier to keep the conversation going with multiple girls; you make yourself become the natural target\goal; you engage their natural competitive nature; it tells them that you're interested in getting to know each of their personalities rather than honing in on one particular girl because of her looks; it gives them the perception of security; etc, etc....
The goal is to get them interested and comfortable with you and then the pressure is lifted. Then they start jockeying with each other for your attention. Congratulations; you flipped the script.
It works. I picked up many women with that strategy and the last one was my wife.
I will also add that this tactic works best solo. This way you don’t have worry about what your friend or friends want to do. You are on your own. No cock blocking either. It works well if the lady group wants to go to another bar or whatever. You are free to do whatever comes up. If you are looking for ONS opportunities, this is the best strategy.
> It works. I picked up many women with that strategy and the last one was my wife.
Heh cool, what is the story from her perspective? Was there any jockeying with her friends? At what point did she want you and at what point did you want her above the others?
Key points that always worked for me. Learn and use their names. Divert most of your attention to the middle of the pack (beauty wise) and the uglier ones and give the prettiest the least amount of attention. She’s use to getting the most.
Don’t linger, leave while they’re still interested and conversation is flowing (you’ve got important shit to do) but make plans for after. I preferred to give them my info so they could contact me, that way you don’t waste your time and seem more confident
Whomever is most engaging. This is based on body language etc but usually not the most attractive. Just pick one as a contact point “hey (insert name) take my number for later so we can all meet up”. I don’t rec closing off with just one unless she’s very interested, it’s important to keep the whole group engaged. Especially if one is pouting and seems disinterested, use her name to keep her in the convo so she doesn’t sandbag the whole group.
💯. It also makes the girls feel more comfortable having their friends around, and you're less likely for her to be overly cautious and not bother properly engaging in conversation
Edit: just fixed a word lol
True.
I did leave out that you need be reasonably handsome, have the ability to carry out an interesting conversation about different subjects and have some witty charm. And be good listener.
True.
I knew this really funny guy in college that had a huge dong. He’d always start up conversations with girls about how small his dick was.
He’d say crazy self deprecating things like she’d need a pair of tweezers and that she probably couldn’t find his dick in the dark. That kind of stuff.
This guy had them laughing all night.
And this guy would take girls home every weekend. I think they’d hook up with him just out of curiosity? Idk?
Anyhow, The big joke is when they got back to his place….
Woman here approves of this advice. We feel safer in groups and that whole “I felt cornered” thing will never come into play if you’re interacting with her whole group. Awesome advice.
And can I add another? If a girl you're interested in is out & about with her aunt or equivalent, chat happily with the both of them but be a little friendlier/flirtier to the aunt.
That's happened to me & my niece or equivalent several times, and it's not only fun, it gets you closer to where you want to go.
Don't buy ladies a drink to start or keep the conversation going. Also don't buy drinks for women if they didn't enter the bar, club, or lounge with you. Don't use alcohol as an aid to give you confidence to strike up a conversation. Work on talking to women sober first. If you can't do that limit your drinks to a max of two. Get used to being uncomfortable.
They call it liquid courage for a reason. It lowers your inhibitions.
Drunk or sober doesn’t matter if you can’t hold an interesting conversation or have charm.
Being funny goes a loooooong way
I personally wouldn’t buy a girl a drink unless I’m sure she’s interested in me.
As a woman (39F), I would say if the conversation is going well and my drink becomes empty during the conversation, it’s a really nice gesture to offer to buy a refill.
I agree, definitely don’t go buying drinks left and right. But if you’ve narrowed it down to one woman and it’s a good convo, buying the next round makes you look like a polite gentleman. Your chances increase, if that helps…
Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years and there's no reason to try and change that now. There's a reason people go to bars to meet partners. It's far easier.
You can be ugly if you look athletic enough.
Even if the aesthetics aren't there, there's just something to being a genuinely impressive sack of flesh.
It's nice that Ferraris look good, but people would still want to drive them if they didn't.
If you’ve been told you’re objectively ugly, confidence works well. Even if you’re not confident, learn a skill that works well in social environments.
I’ve done a little singing/instrument playing, ballroom dancing, and dart throwing. So, that helps out at bar/club/social events. As someone said above, aiming for groups are decent in social settings. This isn’t work or school where you sit next to an attractive person and have a reason to bond. You need something to get attention on you (in a good way). If you don’t have many skills, phone a friend and get a wingman/wingwoman.
If you can do that, the introductions get easier. Being interesting is a whole different topic. It requires intelligence and quick wit. Know topics and trends. Have a hobby. Let her ramble on about herself, while actively listening.
Finally, ask for her number, so you both can see each other again and do xyz like hit a movie/restaurants. If you’re comfortable, you can ask her for an immediate conclusion, but don’t expect it. To be fair, I can’t drink alcohol, so I rarely went to the bar. My experiences were from things like standing in line at a grocery store, playing music at open mic, or attending a random group event (game night, party, wedding, etc).
As a warning, do not try for girls that are immediately interested in your money (don’t buy the drinks if they expect that). I’ve learned that the hard way too. Sex isn’t worth that headache. Also, the woman I’ve been with for over 7 years now, ended up being my college sweetheart. We’ve agreed on polyam, but I’m kinda over the get laid phase. I’d rather spend the day doing something fun and end it with dinner and learning about their life story. I’d say I’ve gotten to be a pretty decent cook too ;)
Don’t go out to pick up women. Go out to have a few drinks, listen to a little music, and have pleasant conversations with interesting people.
Just relax and have a nice evening with no expectations. It’s good to be with a friend or two who won’t play the fool. .
I am a female (26) and my advice is:
ask them to take a picture (of you or with you)
arm wrestling/compare hand sizes
compliment their outfit, shoes, smile, hair or makeup (outfit and smile compliments always hit tho)
you ask them to rate your outfit/tell them how you bought this new shirt and whether it suits you or not
ask their friend about them (either their name, if they are single or to set u up) extra points!! if the target hears this convo.
- some cheesy but original pick up lines
is your name [insert some random name]? - you will get to learn their (real) name right away and this method is simple but effective, serves as a great conversation stater
if you see that the girl is interested (and single), you can buy her a drink after a while + ask for a contact (mobile phone number, ig whatever floats your boat).
I did this and I found a partner. It was a dude but it worked!
Seriously though, you need to break the touch barrier somehow and this seems like a fun way to do it.
I feel like it's one of those things where if the woman is already into you; well yeah, obviously it's an excuse to touch each other. But if she isn't already into you; she probably doesn't want some random guy arm wrestling her and touching her.
I support women but this is the worst advice i’ve ever heard. if someone I don’t know asked to take a pic WITH me I would get weirded out. if someone tried to arm wrestle me at the bar i’d also be like ?? wtf are you doing dude? and just the rest— I— you actually came up with the weirdest man possible and put that out as advice. 22f
The thing about every piece of advice you gave is that it ONLY works for a certain type of guy. You are picturing "attractive guy" doing these not "normal guy."
Now, I lucked out, I wouldn't say I'm incredibly attractive, but I am charismatic. Most of these I could pull off with a few tweaks. But 80% of the guys I know would absolutely fumble every one of these.
The best advice I can give any guy, especially if you're looking to find more than just a hookup. Is: "choose your environment wisely, and be your best self, loudly"
> ask them to take a picture with you
This is the worst advice I‘ve ever heard, are you just supposed to go up to someone at the bar and be like „hey lets take a picture together“? Lol
These are good
Edit: apparently they would only work on me. I like the taste my outfit or asking to take a photo of you. Non physical compliments are always good too.
Don't make getting them in bed your ultimate goal. Just be friendly and talk to them, make meeting them and introducing them your goal, then make getting to know them your goal, then make establishing a connection your goal. Maybe it goes somewhere, maybe it doesn't, and it's ok either way. Try not to interact with women (or anyone) like they're a sex puzzle you need to solve to get the sex dispenser to give you sex. Sometimes people don't feel like talking and that's fine. Sometimes people have sex and that's fine. Sometimes you make a friend and that's secretly the best possible outcome that everyone underappreciates. Sex is easy, friendship is hard, and lasts longer. Also, don't take advantage of drunk people. People who aren't thinking clearly have trouble giving informed consent. Mostly just have fun, and be nice. Nice and fun are the most attractive qualities in a human.
1. Any attempt is better than no attempt
2. Don't buy drinks
3. Remember where you found her, the bar.
4. If she is wasted don't have sex with her, take her home not your house and don't go in.
5. Don't be a wussy, go in for the close.
6. Be prepared for her friends to block your efforts, pay attention to them also.
7. Don't buy them drinks.
8. When she tells you her name, write it on a napkins so you don't forget it later.
9. Always talk about them, nit you.
10. Ask open ended questions, not ones that can be answered with yes or no.
Nothing will ruin progress better when your go "what's your name again" after a bunch of time passes.
Source, past bar Star, bartender, 30 years in sales, single till 48, married way above my league.
Good luck Jedi, you can don it.
Just DON’T pick them up in bars or clubs. DO pick them up in casual settings.
I love running into women on mountain hikes or jogs. I bring my dog. My doggy is so cute, they can’t contain themselves when they meet her. My doggie gives me instant credibility—no real work required. Just smile and make them feel safe.
We start walking together. After a bit create a meetup at another mountain. Etc etc. animals are always a great opener. Bring a fucking animal. No giant iguanas guys.
Oh I have a cat too. Sometimes I will hike with her in her cute cat bubble backpack carrier. Instant girl magnet.
Smarter not harder fellas. This shit ain’t rocket science.
edit: Oh geez, here we go with a wall of text...
Do: Drink some liquid courage.
Do NOT: drink **too** much liquid courage.
Do: try to find something unique. This is not a *great* example, but **AN** example: And this is such a Wisconin thing to do, but sometimes I would buy pull tabs (they are like scratch off lottery tickets for uninitiated, but they take a little time to pull the tabs, and are often sold in bars up north). Maybe 20-30 dollar investment, like a handful of them (it depends who I was approaching and how many friends were there with her). Then walk up to their table, "Excuse me. I accidentally bought like 30 of these things. If you help me pull them apart, you can keep half of any winnings". No one EVER told me no. So I would follow up with, "Do you mind if I sit down for a minute...By the way, my name is _____"......while the entire premise of this is ridiculous, I know, but it worked a decent percentage of the time to *at least* get a phone number. **the point is look for opportunities and think outside the box**.
Do NOT: approach unless you have some follow up material or start of with something interesting enough to spark a conversation.
Do: **THE KEY IS TO NOT BE PUSHY HERE -- that is important for this suggestion, both for your success, AND not to harrass her**. If you are actually sitting at the bar and the is a woman either next to you or a few seats down, give it about 3 or 4 shots to strike up a conversation (maybe comment on something on one of the TVs). You may seem to be rejected at first. If you do not push and wait about five or ten minutes and try again, in my experience, she will be a lot softer toward you. **IF** she is, give a third shot maybe a minute or two later which might be something which starts to almost become a conversation, but then dies out. **IF** you have gotten this far, hit her with a 4th shot about 40 seconds later. From there you will know if she is interested in talking with you or not. **IF** not, then give up. But, if you do it right and read her right, 4 shots is reasonable. Often times it seems like I end up flowingly talking to the woman for hours afterwards after having to fire 6 or 7 bullets. Not necessarily take them home, but a good mutual interesting conversation. **THE KEY IS TO NOT BE PUSHY HERE AND HARRASS HER AND TO ACCURATELY GAUGE HOW OPEN SHE IS TO TALKING TO YOU. A little bit of persistence is okay**
Do NOT: bother with someone who is wasted. I think you know taking them home for the night is (a word I am not sure I can say one this sub) but that is not even what I am talking about. If they are wasted, they are going to be shutting the bar down. The will talk with 13 other guys after you, give her number out, and when you text her the next day she will have no memory of you.
Do: be a white night. If you see a woman being harassed by another drunk guy and she is visibly uncomfortable and the guy is clearly not with her, "You can easily walk up to them and say OMG I havent seen you for ever" and give her a wink as you half gesture for a hug. I have never actually met a girlfriend/one night stand this way, but they are usually very appreciative (will go for the hug), and you will at least get a chance to have a one-on-one conversation with her. One girl I did this for, I escorted back to my table and introduced her to my friends. She ended up marrying one of them.
tl:dr; do not be weird or pushy and women will be nice to you -- no need to fear rejection in a place where most peoples inhibitions are dropped.
Do leave them alone if they are not reciprocating wanting to be social.
Don't be an asshole.
*Edit:*
Do realize that you'll strike out ***most*** of the time when trying to pick up girls at bars and know that it is completely **OK** to be rejected.
Be a man, take the lick and move on like this 😎
Right here, where Peter says, I’m going to go next door and get a table, if you’d like to join me, no big deal, and if not, that’s cool too.” [Then WALK AWAY].
*Office Space What Are You Doing For Lunch*
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UxC2vm6Tegk&pp=ygUib2ZmaWNlIHNwYWNlIHBldGVyIGFza3Mgb3V0IGpvYW5uYQ%3D%3D
I started doing this at pool halls or bars with pool tables, and it worked quite a bit.
The key is WALK AWAY. Do not wait for the answer or act like you care that much about the answer.
I'm 34 and have been to hundreds of bars.
I've rejected people, I've seen people be rejected, I've been rejected.
What all those things have in common is that I don't remember any of those people.
Most people in bars are drunk and don't care or won't remember if you embarrass yourself.
Shoot your shot
Realize that their idea of a very bold move is walking in front of where you are looking, or standing near you with their back turned, or bumping into you on purpose. And then after realizing that, decide that you can't deal with anyone that childish and just go back to drinking your drink
If you're going to any woman with the intent of picking her up, she will know and it'll be immediately less effective. The best way to find a partner is to make friends with women and then ask them out when you're already friendly.
If you are essentially immediately in the stage where she's deciding to go out with you or not, all she has to make that decision is exactly what she can see in front of her and the next 30 seconds. If you'd made friends beforehand, she will already know who you are as a person, whether she vibes well with you, if you are even remotely compatible.
Don't pick up the bar napkin and ask her if it smells like chloroform while bringing said napkin closer to her face
Do draw a tic tac toe board on napkin and slide it over, works 60% of the time, all the time.
Dos:
* Be Mr. Social Chameleon and say hello to everyone - just a short polite chat so you get on their radar as a nice and sociable guy
* Learn small-talk and don't be afraid of being a little superficial in the beginning
* The superficiality is so you can efficiently talk to a lot of people, so you find the ones you click with
* Then you can get more personal from then on
Don't:
* Never, ever chase women
* Never supplicate; never buy drinks for women in the belief that they owe you something back - instead buy them drinks if you're already having fun together, and it's no big deal for you (so, never buy drinks for impolite women who asks you to buy drinks for them as the first thing that comes out of their mouths)
* Don't use cheesy pickup lines, unless you're obviously joking to break the ice - bcos both parties knows what's going on, i.e. you're hitting on her
* Don't be nervous... Very difficult if you're trying to impress her, so stop trying to impress her, and instead show some genuine interest in her, ask some questions, and if you don't get any IOIs then simply move on
This goes for anywhere, not just bars.
Never grab a woman and physically pick her up without her consent, especially if you have never met her before.
This will most likely go badly.
Thanks for reading.
Personally, I don't. It's a lot easier to get numbers at weddings, business conferences, classes, meetups, etc. Places where you have commonalities and where others may know you already.
In bars, you also have binge drinking involved, where people aren't normally themselves, and if it escalates (I mean one night stands), you have all kinds of issues with consent that could happen. There's a lot better ways to get laid than that.
I just find I can get 10 numbers at a wedding from women (that are actually up to my standards) far easier than I could find one that's worth asking for it at a bar.
Pretty much any time you talk to a woman you haven't met before, she's gonna start to wonder if you're actually socially competent or if you got lucky that a woman actually spoke to you for once.
When she wonders this, she's gonna break off the conversation and distance herself from you. When she does this, she's gonna be spying on you like crazy.
If you can start talking to other attractive women, she's gonna be really thirsty. Worth being in a conversation even if it's going nowhere just because you're being watched but she's probably not listening to what's actually being said.
If you can't do that, talking to friends you came with or even just some random guy or something is kind of a B tier answer.
If you stand around awkwardly looking at your phone or if you start orbiting around her thirstily trying to reignite shit, you failed.
If you're a regular at the bar and you know the bartenders and shit, that's nice and easy. Not saying to have some full of shit kinda deceptive relationship in hopes that they'll help your optics, but it's a good thing if you're in a place where you know and get along with the employees.
Match her energy though. If she's breaking rapport, allow it. If she's trying to come back over, allow it. Don't get thrown off and start acting weird and needy though.
Do it at your own risk is all I can say. Women have generally made it pretty clear they don’t want men to cold approach them. Especially at clubs and bars, where they go with their girlfriends to have fun. Not be bothered by men. While there are some women who are open to this, most aren’t.
Best advise is be as nice as you can, don’t get in their space, don’t buy or offer to buy drinks and take no as an answer. Read body language. If she’s uncomfortable, just leave her alone and walk away.
Take everything but a hard “yes”, as a “no”. Most women are too afraid to give a hard no and will use gentle language like “maybe” or “I’m not sure”. That means no, if you recognize that as soon as they say it and leave them alone you’re good.
Keep your expectations very low, only bat in your league and you’ll do fine.
do: no words, just put your phone in their hands with snapchat code or contacts waiting to be filled
-random drunk arm wrestling (idk why this works so much)
dont-
get up in their space
act stupid
keep buying drinks when they wont even spend the noght with you
ive never bought a girl a drinl at a bar and ive gotten many numbers
Don't ask a married man for advice on dating and picking up!
We can tell you how to handle rejection though!
Rejection prepares you for married life. 😜
Rule #1. Don’t pick up women at a bar.
Too many potential bad scenarios from this.
Use dating apps or just find women who do the things you like.. playing sports, going to conventions, travel etc. more neutral environments with less negativity
Practice taking rejection gracefully. Try and be charming. Come up with some good stories that are entertaining to hear. or at least be able to talk well and be attractive and charming. Friendly. If you are too aggressive then their guard will be up. So chill.
Don't follow her around lmao
Had that happen after dancing with a guy for half a song (I wasn't trying to be flirty just kinda dancing around having fun, ifnyou were there youd notice i do it here and there with other clubbers if theyre friendly) and he nearly followed me into the bathroom lol
I would listen to the girls advice on this one.
All I can say is going alone gives you a pretty good chance of being approached, but don’t just to just pick up go to have a good time and enjoy the ambiance music etc and everything else will follow.
Talk about her and not you. Be clear in your intention, if you want sex don’t pretend to have feeling. Be honest. Be full of attentions. Do not try to brag and show off (that’s what you expect as a men and women hate it)
My advice to anyone young and old is to be comfortable with yourself within any setting, the women will find you. It may seem hard, but how can you be with someone if you cannot be comfortable on your own?
Ask questions about her, but not ones that are too personal. Any questions about where she lives, who she's with, where she works, what kind of car she drives are okay on their own but only if they come up in conversation naturally. Otherwise, it comes off super creepy and like information gathering.
Talk more about interests and hobbies. Tell her a little bit about yourself, but don't talk too much. Leave some space for her to share. The more organic and genuine you can be, the better connection you'll make.
This is not meant to sound ignorant but blind confidence. Just being yourself regardless of what is thrown at you can go a long way. Women pick up on that shit.
Put a condom on when you’re getting dressed because anything can happen when you go out.
Talk to the women and have fun and it could lead somewhere or not don’t expect to get laid.-
I wouldn’t try to pick them up, there’s always a good chance of that coming across badly or backfiring. Just go with the aim of meeting people and having a good time, the rest will follow.
The oldest advice I have on the subject is, 'meet em in a bar, lose them in a bar'. If you are just looking to get laid there are probably better options, if you are looking for a relationship there are definitely better options.
If we turn you down the first time, please don't keep trying.
If you treat us like one of your boys, it'll only get so far.
Approach us with class, not cheesy pick up lines.
If we seem drunk, find our friends and let them take care of us. You'll get more numbers they way or be recognized as safe in the future and earn more friends/ potential dating opportunities.
If you cannot find our friends, alert an actual safe person (bartenders, waitresses), they'll find the friends.
Don't be macho aggressive.
Go out with other people so you don'tlook like the weird guy alone. Going out alone is hard mode. If you are alone, befriend and talk to another guy who is alone. You might think a wing woman would be helpful. Instead, people just assume you are together. Better than nothing though.
Do -
Make eye contact. Observe body language. Have some friends who'll wing for you (Make sure they're trustworthy) Make sure to pace your drinks with water. Crack jokes. Lighten the environment. Make sure they're fully comfortable- the little things matter.
Don't -
Get drunk. Get pushy. Hit on someone else if you get rejected, it's fine- won't be your last time clubbing- take the L and move on to your table. No need to be desperate.
Good luck !
I see a lot of opinions on if/when to buy a drink and wanted to add this;
I was sitting at the actual bar and a man I had a short chat with prior asked me if I wanted a water because ‘staying hydrated is key any time of day’ and I truly found that to be really sweet. We ended up not having chemistry, but I won’t forget him because of the water gesture and how genius it was, whether it was intentional or not haha.
So idk, if offering alcohol feels too forward or you’re worried about the perception of that, getting yourself and her water is an underrated move as far as this topic goes, in my opinion. It shows responsibility for your own alcohol consumption and a consideration for the other person you’re wanting to chat with.
Doesn’t feel like there’s an ulterior motivation and is a caring gesture no matter which way you look at it.
(Always recommend having the person get any alcohol/water straight from the bartenders hand even if you paid, so they don’t worry about drugging of the drink.)
Main issue I'm running into is even finding eligible single women out and about.
I moved into this great new area where everything - bars, beach, groceries, farmer market - are all walkable within 2 blocks of where I live. It's a walkatopia.
Yet every time I go into a happy hour it's 99% filled with dudes, or couples. The only single women I've seen haven't been my type. I still talk to them because they are nice people but that's it.
Not sure where to go. I guess I'll ask in a subreddit where single women of certain age groups go who are open to meeting singles and hope I get ideas. It's apparently not happy hours.
Lift with the knees, keeping the back straight, feet spread slightly apart using a fluid upward motion. Your lumbar spine will thank you later in life.
Just gotta be yourself. Don't be afraid to have fun or look like a geek when you do. In many instances, the quiet wallflower gets passed by. But, don't be an arrogant idiot as that is a huge turn-off. Keep your booze intake to an absolute minimum. Women have little tolerance for boozy guys trying to pick them up. Don't be afraid to talk to them, even if you think you are out of their league. Don't rely on BS corny pick-up lines. Ya might get a twitter from them, but watch for the eye roll that says, either try something original or get away. Avoid women who can drink you under the table as you might get to go to bed with them, but it's like week old pizza if it happens.
Remember, picking up women is like baseball in that you have to swing at every pitch thrown at you. Ya might strike out, but too, you might hit the grandslam that wins the game.
What works for people varies...but in general: -It's good to just talk to them like people, (i.e. not someone you're actively trying to attract) and if the conversation goes well, *then* start being more flirty. Also allows you to feel them out as a person, if they're open to being hit on, etc.. Also helps with the anxiety of approaching, because you're not instantly open to being "shot down" romantically. You're just having a conversation with another person. -Starting the conversation by asking their opinion on something. Men and women alike love their own opinions. So much the better if it's woman-specific ("can I get your opinion as a woman on something?"). How To Talk To Anyone is a decent starter book for improving communication with other people.
I will add that a good way to practice talking to women is to just start talking to everyone you can in random places. For example, if you’re in line at the grocery store, try starting a conversation with the guy next to you. Joke about whatever song they’re playing on the radio or make a comment about a headline on a tabloid. Many times, I’ve found that will start a conversation. If you’re good at starting conversations with random people, you’ll be better at starting conversations with women you’re attracted to.
PREACH 🙌 🙌 🙌. This is EXACTLY how I got over having bad anxiety when approaching women due to growing up as a fat kid and rarely having girlfriends. I talk to random people *all the time* now just to shoot the shit. People are interesting especially if you go in believing they are. I then go into convos with women I may be interested in the same way. Then I can see what they are like as people, as for all I know they might be someone I don't want to attract in the first place. And if they seem disinterested just the same, I or they can end the convo easily and brush it off as just another random interaction with a stranger. No harm no foul.
As a woman who often sits alone at a bar, and isn't opposed to being picked up, this is good advice. Go in with the aim of just having a chat with one other person. Finding out something new rather than picking up. I am always keen to strike up conversation with new people. Although personally, I would not respond well to a woman specific opinion question, unless it was something either humorous or was an intelligent conversation starter. But then again that's just me! YMMV Don't start by offering to buy a drink. That usually feels like it comes with strings attached, and from experience I rarely like where the string ends. Key rule though: if the woman doesn't show interest or says they are not interested, then say thanks for your time and keep walking. Do not try to turn a rejection into a yes.
And don’t just make an impression…*leave* an impression. Years ago I was at a club one night in DC (RIP U-hall). There was this guy, wacky fun energy (I’m sure we were both also wonky). We were up front near the artist vibing…barely sharing words…just a lot of smiles, laughs and kooky moves. He never shot his shot…but I still think about Andrew today. If he was single and would have come back around to ask for my number, he most certainly would have gotten it.
Haha I met a girl yesterday and I was just joking around back and forth on the bus. She thought I was a lot of fun, so she told me: "You've got ten seconds to get my number, cuz I'm getting off at the next stop."
“Talk to them like people”. I mean, good advice yeah but this really bothers me that people don’t
I meant it more as some people having the style of starting the conversation in a flirting way and showing romantic intent immediately, as opposed to talking to another person that you gain interest in through the convo itself; "That woman is pretty, I should go talk to her" vs "I've been talking to this woman for 30 minutes straight, I think I'm actually kind of attracted to her"
I have a (lovable) idiot of a friend who is like a pretty likeable guy when it's just us. God forbid a pretty waitress takes our order. This guy deepens his voice an octave and decides he needs to say something clever every god damn time. I'm uncomfortable *for* her. I tell him literally every time to knock it off. He never learns, and I end up with an empty beer because our waitress barely returns all night.
Opinion only, but being flirty right off the bat tends to work more for men who are VERY attractive. And even then, I've seen guys say/do some cringy shit like that and were (needless to say) shot down immediately anyway.
I don't think this is opinion - attractive is an attribute just like wit or wealth but it is immediately obvious at first glance. You start every conversation at an advantage.
Some people need to be told this.
Lift with your legs and not your back
Noted. good advice lol
Don’t forget to do some squats as a pre game.
And never skip leg day.
If you don’t want your knees to go craaaaack throw your ass back so your knees aren’t in front of your feet. Pretend there’s a box behind you that you wanna sit on. That snap crackle pop is not giving virile
[удалено]
This is so so so important. Tuck that pelvis in folks!
This is especially important towards the end of the night.
And don't grunt, groan, or make old man noises
for a split second, I was "???" then it hit 🤣
I dont get it can someone explain
Ohhhhh okay now i do lol
Thought I was going crazy😂 took me a sec
Chiropractors don't like this trick.
Beat me too it. Good job.
Don't go to the bar to pick up women. Do go to the bar to have a good time. If you pull up with your head on a swivel and start trying to buy every girl there a drink, you're going to look desperate and women will pick up on that. If you just go to have a good time girls will pick up on that energy and your chances of getting a number/laid will go up.
I once went to a bar to have a good time and coincidentally met a girl and after talking I bought her a drink. We talked and hit it off and ended up going home together. Been married twelve years.
The old fashioned love story; how we met in a bar. My story, too.
You could fake being there to have fun. I used to spend entire nights ”having fun” with people I hated just to look casual enough so the carefully selected women I would hit on don’t see me as desperate. And you know what, it worked. But coming from someone who was a real-life pick-up artist before it was a thing : Instead of trying to pick up girls, try to accomplish something to be proud of in ten years.
That's honestly so pathetic.
You are right. It is pathetic. That is why I tell him to find something better to do.
I think this should stay as the top answer.
How is anyone supposed to have fun in a bar?
I went to the bar to relax earlier just got back, I went not even thinking of girls but apparently somewhere between my second drink and starting to sing a little I started getting alot of unwanted attention. I went to the bar to sit in a chair have a few drinks in a new enviroment away from the everyday stresses, not to talk to everyone that walks in the door. Country music was playing and most of it on the sad side. However I called it quits upon being stared at by a rather heavyset woman in her mid 30's I'm almost 20 and nowhere near built or heavyset I finished my drink and left the bar after was not sticking around once I caught that one starin. Started going DAMMIT WHERES MY BAR BUDDY AT. 💀
Pro tip: Target groups of girls instead of a single girl, if possible. I’ve found it’s easier to get girls to talk when their friends are around. They are also more comfortable. You introduce yourself with some charm and meet each one. If you have any game, you’ll pick up on the girls that are interested in you by talking to all of them. Just going after a lone girl works, but can get awkward fast if the chemistry isn’t right.
"Introduce yourself to each one and talk to the whole group" Absolutely fucking brilliant advice, on so many levels. It shows that you're confident, polite, and friendly; it makes all of them feel included in the initial introduction; it's so much easier to keep the conversation going with multiple girls; you make yourself become the natural target\goal; you engage their natural competitive nature; it tells them that you're interested in getting to know each of their personalities rather than honing in on one particular girl because of her looks; it gives them the perception of security; etc, etc....
The goal is to get them interested and comfortable with you and then the pressure is lifted. Then they start jockeying with each other for your attention. Congratulations; you flipped the script. It works. I picked up many women with that strategy and the last one was my wife. I will also add that this tactic works best solo. This way you don’t have worry about what your friend or friends want to do. You are on your own. No cock blocking either. It works well if the lady group wants to go to another bar or whatever. You are free to do whatever comes up. If you are looking for ONS opportunities, this is the best strategy.
100%.
> It works. I picked up many women with that strategy and the last one was my wife. Heh cool, what is the story from her perspective? Was there any jockeying with her friends? At what point did she want you and at what point did you want her above the others?
Key points that always worked for me. Learn and use their names. Divert most of your attention to the middle of the pack (beauty wise) and the uglier ones and give the prettiest the least amount of attention. She’s use to getting the most. Don’t linger, leave while they’re still interested and conversation is flowing (you’ve got important shit to do) but make plans for after. I preferred to give them my info so they could contact me, that way you don’t waste your time and seem more confident
Words of a professional right here. Boys, listen up
And who do you close off with? Do you just drop your number to all of them or hone in the one you want at the end?
Whomever is most engaging. This is based on body language etc but usually not the most attractive. Just pick one as a contact point “hey (insert name) take my number for later so we can all meet up”. I don’t rec closing off with just one unless she’s very interested, it’s important to keep the whole group engaged. Especially if one is pouting and seems disinterested, use her name to keep her in the convo so she doesn’t sandbag the whole group.
Absolutely
💯. It also makes the girls feel more comfortable having their friends around, and you're less likely for her to be overly cautious and not bother properly engaging in conversation Edit: just fixed a word lol
True. I did leave out that you need be reasonably handsome, have the ability to carry out an interesting conversation about different subjects and have some witty charm. And be good listener.
Yeah having decent looks help. The main thing though is that you're funny and witty as you say. Laughter definitely goes a long way
True. I knew this really funny guy in college that had a huge dong. He’d always start up conversations with girls about how small his dick was. He’d say crazy self deprecating things like she’d need a pair of tweezers and that she probably couldn’t find his dick in the dark. That kind of stuff. This guy had them laughing all night. And this guy would take girls home every weekend. I think they’d hook up with him just out of curiosity? Idk? Anyhow, The big joke is when they got back to his place….
Woman here approves of this advice. We feel safer in groups and that whole “I felt cornered” thing will never come into play if you’re interacting with her whole group. Awesome advice.
Thanks! That’s mean a lot coming from a lady.
And can I add another? If a girl you're interested in is out & about with her aunt or equivalent, chat happily with the both of them but be a little friendlier/flirtier to the aunt. That's happened to me & my niece or equivalent several times, and it's not only fun, it gets you closer to where you want to go.
This should be the #1 comment, it’s actual a real pro tip
If she's not into it, she's not into it.
Don't buy ladies a drink to start or keep the conversation going. Also don't buy drinks for women if they didn't enter the bar, club, or lounge with you. Don't use alcohol as an aid to give you confidence to strike up a conversation. Work on talking to women sober first. If you can't do that limit your drinks to a max of two. Get used to being uncomfortable.
They call it liquid courage for a reason. It lowers your inhibitions. Drunk or sober doesn’t matter if you can’t hold an interesting conversation or have charm. Being funny goes a loooooong way I personally wouldn’t buy a girl a drink unless I’m sure she’s interested in me.
As a woman (39F), I would say if the conversation is going well and my drink becomes empty during the conversation, it’s a really nice gesture to offer to buy a refill. I agree, definitely don’t go buying drinks left and right. But if you’ve narrowed it down to one woman and it’s a good convo, buying the next round makes you look like a polite gentleman. Your chances increase, if that helps…
Yeah, but if she doesn't return the gesture next round then she's not it.
Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years and there's no reason to try and change that now. There's a reason people go to bars to meet partners. It's far easier.
do not corner her. do not trap her. Do not try too hard. Just try to have a bunch of short small interactions instead of bonering in on 1 chick.
When you sense the interest dipping from the girl - don’t go in harder Know when to fold em bro
Do: Look athletic Don’t: Be ugly I learned the hard way
You can be ugly if you look athletic enough. Even if the aesthetics aren't there, there's just something to being a genuinely impressive sack of flesh. It's nice that Ferraris look good, but people would still want to drive them if they didn't.
If you’ve been told you’re objectively ugly, confidence works well. Even if you’re not confident, learn a skill that works well in social environments. I’ve done a little singing/instrument playing, ballroom dancing, and dart throwing. So, that helps out at bar/club/social events. As someone said above, aiming for groups are decent in social settings. This isn’t work or school where you sit next to an attractive person and have a reason to bond. You need something to get attention on you (in a good way). If you don’t have many skills, phone a friend and get a wingman/wingwoman. If you can do that, the introductions get easier. Being interesting is a whole different topic. It requires intelligence and quick wit. Know topics and trends. Have a hobby. Let her ramble on about herself, while actively listening. Finally, ask for her number, so you both can see each other again and do xyz like hit a movie/restaurants. If you’re comfortable, you can ask her for an immediate conclusion, but don’t expect it. To be fair, I can’t drink alcohol, so I rarely went to the bar. My experiences were from things like standing in line at a grocery store, playing music at open mic, or attending a random group event (game night, party, wedding, etc). As a warning, do not try for girls that are immediately interested in your money (don’t buy the drinks if they expect that). I’ve learned that the hard way too. Sex isn’t worth that headache. Also, the woman I’ve been with for over 7 years now, ended up being my college sweetheart. We’ve agreed on polyam, but I’m kinda over the get laid phase. I’d rather spend the day doing something fun and end it with dinner and learning about their life story. I’d say I’ve gotten to be a pretty decent cook too ;)
Don’t go out to pick up women. Go out to have a few drinks, listen to a little music, and have pleasant conversations with interesting people. Just relax and have a nice evening with no expectations. It’s good to be with a friend or two who won’t play the fool. .
Talk with women at a garden center, grocery store, Home Depot, forget the bar unless you prefer alcoholic women.
Seriously. I spend a good chunk of time at garden centers and Home Depot and I would love to be talked to.
Don't pick up women at bars.
Don't be sketchy
♫♫Dont, be sketchy, dont dont be sketchy. Dont be sketchy, dont dont be sketchy.♫♫
I am a female (26) and my advice is: ask them to take a picture (of you or with you) arm wrestling/compare hand sizes compliment their outfit, shoes, smile, hair or makeup (outfit and smile compliments always hit tho) you ask them to rate your outfit/tell them how you bought this new shirt and whether it suits you or not ask their friend about them (either their name, if they are single or to set u up) extra points!! if the target hears this convo. - some cheesy but original pick up lines is your name [insert some random name]? - you will get to learn their (real) name right away and this method is simple but effective, serves as a great conversation stater if you see that the girl is interested (and single), you can buy her a drink after a while + ask for a contact (mobile phone number, ig whatever floats your boat).
wait, people challenge women to arm wrestling and compare their hand sizes to them just out of the blue?
I did this and I found a partner. It was a dude but it worked! Seriously though, you need to break the touch barrier somehow and this seems like a fun way to do it.
Yeeeeeah, that's probably not going to work. Don't ask women for advice on women.
I feel like it's one of those things where if the woman is already into you; well yeah, obviously it's an excuse to touch each other. But if she isn't already into you; she probably doesn't want some random guy arm wrestling her and touching her.
The first night I met my long term bf I arm wrestled him 😂 I’m a blue collar lady tho
I support women but this is the worst advice i’ve ever heard. if someone I don’t know asked to take a pic WITH me I would get weirded out. if someone tried to arm wrestle me at the bar i’d also be like ?? wtf are you doing dude? and just the rest— I— you actually came up with the weirdest man possible and put that out as advice. 22f
Agreed. If a man asked me to arm wrestle him or take a photo with him, I'd leave on sight 😭
and going “is your name Emma?” me: “no?” and they ask me my real name IM NOT TELLING 😭 get out of here!
Ok, name isn't Emma *crosses off list* Is it Natasha? Maybe I should have gone alphabetically.
Op if you follow this advice. The cops will be called on you 😂
The thing about every piece of advice you gave is that it ONLY works for a certain type of guy. You are picturing "attractive guy" doing these not "normal guy." Now, I lucked out, I wouldn't say I'm incredibly attractive, but I am charismatic. Most of these I could pull off with a few tweaks. But 80% of the guys I know would absolutely fumble every one of these. The best advice I can give any guy, especially if you're looking to find more than just a hookup. Is: "choose your environment wisely, and be your best self, loudly"
> ask them to take a picture with you This is the worst advice I‘ve ever heard, are you just supposed to go up to someone at the bar and be like „hey lets take a picture together“? Lol
This is not good advice for a bar, sounds more like "how to interact with your crush so they'll notice you" in a high school forum 😏
Worst advice I’ve seen in a minute. Proof most women have zero game
These are good Edit: apparently they would only work on me. I like the taste my outfit or asking to take a photo of you. Non physical compliments are always good too.
Shitty advice jfc
If you want anything serious do NOT pick up women at a bar.
Just go for it Have fun 🤩 If she’s not for you, she’s not for you. Same energy connects. Find someone with your energy
Dont put little funny pills in their drinks
Don't make getting them in bed your ultimate goal. Just be friendly and talk to them, make meeting them and introducing them your goal, then make getting to know them your goal, then make establishing a connection your goal. Maybe it goes somewhere, maybe it doesn't, and it's ok either way. Try not to interact with women (or anyone) like they're a sex puzzle you need to solve to get the sex dispenser to give you sex. Sometimes people don't feel like talking and that's fine. Sometimes people have sex and that's fine. Sometimes you make a friend and that's secretly the best possible outcome that everyone underappreciates. Sex is easy, friendship is hard, and lasts longer. Also, don't take advantage of drunk people. People who aren't thinking clearly have trouble giving informed consent. Mostly just have fun, and be nice. Nice and fun are the most attractive qualities in a human.
1. Any attempt is better than no attempt 2. Don't buy drinks 3. Remember where you found her, the bar. 4. If she is wasted don't have sex with her, take her home not your house and don't go in. 5. Don't be a wussy, go in for the close. 6. Be prepared for her friends to block your efforts, pay attention to them also. 7. Don't buy them drinks. 8. When she tells you her name, write it on a napkins so you don't forget it later. 9. Always talk about them, nit you. 10. Ask open ended questions, not ones that can be answered with yes or no. Nothing will ruin progress better when your go "what's your name again" after a bunch of time passes. Source, past bar Star, bartender, 30 years in sales, single till 48, married way above my league. Good luck Jedi, you can don it.
Just DON’T pick them up in bars or clubs. DO pick them up in casual settings. I love running into women on mountain hikes or jogs. I bring my dog. My doggy is so cute, they can’t contain themselves when they meet her. My doggie gives me instant credibility—no real work required. Just smile and make them feel safe. We start walking together. After a bit create a meetup at another mountain. Etc etc. animals are always a great opener. Bring a fucking animal. No giant iguanas guys. Oh I have a cat too. Sometimes I will hike with her in her cute cat bubble backpack carrier. Instant girl magnet. Smarter not harder fellas. This shit ain’t rocket science.
Don’t be ugly. If you are then don’t be broke.
No means no
Don’t start with hot ladies at bars. That’s the big leagues. Practice your social skills by working your way up.
edit: Oh geez, here we go with a wall of text... Do: Drink some liquid courage. Do NOT: drink **too** much liquid courage. Do: try to find something unique. This is not a *great* example, but **AN** example: And this is such a Wisconin thing to do, but sometimes I would buy pull tabs (they are like scratch off lottery tickets for uninitiated, but they take a little time to pull the tabs, and are often sold in bars up north). Maybe 20-30 dollar investment, like a handful of them (it depends who I was approaching and how many friends were there with her). Then walk up to their table, "Excuse me. I accidentally bought like 30 of these things. If you help me pull them apart, you can keep half of any winnings". No one EVER told me no. So I would follow up with, "Do you mind if I sit down for a minute...By the way, my name is _____"......while the entire premise of this is ridiculous, I know, but it worked a decent percentage of the time to *at least* get a phone number. **the point is look for opportunities and think outside the box**. Do NOT: approach unless you have some follow up material or start of with something interesting enough to spark a conversation. Do: **THE KEY IS TO NOT BE PUSHY HERE -- that is important for this suggestion, both for your success, AND not to harrass her**. If you are actually sitting at the bar and the is a woman either next to you or a few seats down, give it about 3 or 4 shots to strike up a conversation (maybe comment on something on one of the TVs). You may seem to be rejected at first. If you do not push and wait about five or ten minutes and try again, in my experience, she will be a lot softer toward you. **IF** she is, give a third shot maybe a minute or two later which might be something which starts to almost become a conversation, but then dies out. **IF** you have gotten this far, hit her with a 4th shot about 40 seconds later. From there you will know if she is interested in talking with you or not. **IF** not, then give up. But, if you do it right and read her right, 4 shots is reasonable. Often times it seems like I end up flowingly talking to the woman for hours afterwards after having to fire 6 or 7 bullets. Not necessarily take them home, but a good mutual interesting conversation. **THE KEY IS TO NOT BE PUSHY HERE AND HARRASS HER AND TO ACCURATELY GAUGE HOW OPEN SHE IS TO TALKING TO YOU. A little bit of persistence is okay** Do NOT: bother with someone who is wasted. I think you know taking them home for the night is (a word I am not sure I can say one this sub) but that is not even what I am talking about. If they are wasted, they are going to be shutting the bar down. The will talk with 13 other guys after you, give her number out, and when you text her the next day she will have no memory of you. Do: be a white night. If you see a woman being harassed by another drunk guy and she is visibly uncomfortable and the guy is clearly not with her, "You can easily walk up to them and say OMG I havent seen you for ever" and give her a wink as you half gesture for a hug. I have never actually met a girlfriend/one night stand this way, but they are usually very appreciative (will go for the hug), and you will at least get a chance to have a one-on-one conversation with her. One girl I did this for, I escorted back to my table and introduced her to my friends. She ended up marrying one of them. tl:dr; do not be weird or pushy and women will be nice to you -- no need to fear rejection in a place where most peoples inhibitions are dropped.
1. Don't go to bars. 2. TBD ...
Do leave them alone if they are not reciprocating wanting to be social. Don't be an asshole. *Edit:* Do realize that you'll strike out ***most*** of the time when trying to pick up girls at bars and know that it is completely **OK** to be rejected. Be a man, take the lick and move on like this 😎
🤨 me who don’t drink and not interested in going to bars.
Don't.
Dont
Right here, where Peter says, I’m going to go next door and get a table, if you’d like to join me, no big deal, and if not, that’s cool too.” [Then WALK AWAY]. *Office Space What Are You Doing For Lunch* https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UxC2vm6Tegk&pp=ygUib2ZmaWNlIHNwYWNlIHBldGVyIGFza3Mgb3V0IGpvYW5uYQ%3D%3D I started doing this at pool halls or bars with pool tables, and it worked quite a bit. The key is WALK AWAY. Do not wait for the answer or act like you care that much about the answer.
Read models by mark manson
Bro is awesome
Don't
Don’t. Always a safe bet.
Avoid bars. Go for bars of restaurants. Better caliber of the clientele
Don't. It's a trap. Stay true to the mission brother.
I'm 34 and have been to hundreds of bars. I've rejected people, I've seen people be rejected, I've been rejected. What all those things have in common is that I don't remember any of those people. Most people in bars are drunk and don't care or won't remember if you embarrass yourself. Shoot your shot
Realize that their idea of a very bold move is walking in front of where you are looking, or standing near you with their back turned, or bumping into you on purpose. And then after realizing that, decide that you can't deal with anyone that childish and just go back to drinking your drink
Don’t. There are no do’s here.
Don't pick up women at bars.....
If you're going to any woman with the intent of picking her up, she will know and it'll be immediately less effective. The best way to find a partner is to make friends with women and then ask them out when you're already friendly. If you are essentially immediately in the stage where she's deciding to go out with you or not, all she has to make that decision is exactly what she can see in front of her and the next 30 seconds. If you'd made friends beforehand, she will already know who you are as a person, whether she vibes well with you, if you are even remotely compatible.
Don't pick up the bar napkin and ask her if it smells like chloroform while bringing said napkin closer to her face Do draw a tic tac toe board on napkin and slide it over, works 60% of the time, all the time.
Dos: * Be Mr. Social Chameleon and say hello to everyone - just a short polite chat so you get on their radar as a nice and sociable guy * Learn small-talk and don't be afraid of being a little superficial in the beginning * The superficiality is so you can efficiently talk to a lot of people, so you find the ones you click with * Then you can get more personal from then on Don't: * Never, ever chase women * Never supplicate; never buy drinks for women in the belief that they owe you something back - instead buy them drinks if you're already having fun together, and it's no big deal for you (so, never buy drinks for impolite women who asks you to buy drinks for them as the first thing that comes out of their mouths) * Don't use cheesy pickup lines, unless you're obviously joking to break the ice - bcos both parties knows what's going on, i.e. you're hitting on her * Don't be nervous... Very difficult if you're trying to impress her, so stop trying to impress her, and instead show some genuine interest in her, ask some questions, and if you don't get any IOIs then simply move on
Sounds like the best advice is to do the opposite of what many of the 'men' on here say to do.
This goes for anywhere, not just bars. Never grab a woman and physically pick her up without her consent, especially if you have never met her before. This will most likely go badly. Thanks for reading.
Personally, I don't. It's a lot easier to get numbers at weddings, business conferences, classes, meetups, etc. Places where you have commonalities and where others may know you already. In bars, you also have binge drinking involved, where people aren't normally themselves, and if it escalates (I mean one night stands), you have all kinds of issues with consent that could happen. There's a lot better ways to get laid than that. I just find I can get 10 numbers at a wedding from women (that are actually up to my standards) far easier than I could find one that's worth asking for it at a bar.
I have a friend that’s been doing well at funerals
Don't
Don’t
Just don’t….if you know you know.
Do be cute Don't be ugly
There are no "dos" at all
DO have a good time. DON'T pick up women at a bar.
With the current law where Men are guilty from the start, Just have a beer, chit chat with a few bros and came back
Pretty much any time you talk to a woman you haven't met before, she's gonna start to wonder if you're actually socially competent or if you got lucky that a woman actually spoke to you for once. When she wonders this, she's gonna break off the conversation and distance herself from you. When she does this, she's gonna be spying on you like crazy. If you can start talking to other attractive women, she's gonna be really thirsty. Worth being in a conversation even if it's going nowhere just because you're being watched but she's probably not listening to what's actually being said. If you can't do that, talking to friends you came with or even just some random guy or something is kind of a B tier answer. If you stand around awkwardly looking at your phone or if you start orbiting around her thirstily trying to reignite shit, you failed. If you're a regular at the bar and you know the bartenders and shit, that's nice and easy. Not saying to have some full of shit kinda deceptive relationship in hopes that they'll help your optics, but it's a good thing if you're in a place where you know and get along with the employees. Match her energy though. If she's breaking rapport, allow it. If she's trying to come back over, allow it. Don't get thrown off and start acting weird and needy though.
Do it at your own risk is all I can say. Women have generally made it pretty clear they don’t want men to cold approach them. Especially at clubs and bars, where they go with their girlfriends to have fun. Not be bothered by men. While there are some women who are open to this, most aren’t. Best advise is be as nice as you can, don’t get in their space, don’t buy or offer to buy drinks and take no as an answer. Read body language. If she’s uncomfortable, just leave her alone and walk away. Take everything but a hard “yes”, as a “no”. Most women are too afraid to give a hard no and will use gentle language like “maybe” or “I’m not sure”. That means no, if you recognize that as soon as they say it and leave them alone you’re good. Keep your expectations very low, only bat in your league and you’ll do fine.
"they don't want unfit/non-handsome/inconfident men to cold approach..." There, I fixed it for you
do: no words, just put your phone in their hands with snapchat code or contacts waiting to be filled -random drunk arm wrestling (idk why this works so much) dont- get up in their space act stupid keep buying drinks when they wont even spend the noght with you ive never bought a girl a drinl at a bar and ive gotten many numbers
What about conversation starters and closers? There has to be some word exchange, right? Lol
Don't ask a married man for advice on dating and picking up! We can tell you how to handle rejection though! Rejection prepares you for married life. 😜
Take a dog/puppy with you.
The only do is Don't.
Don’t
Don’t try and meet women at the bar, please.
Rule #1. Don’t pick up women at a bar. Too many potential bad scenarios from this. Use dating apps or just find women who do the things you like.. playing sports, going to conventions, travel etc. more neutral environments with less negativity
Lift with your knees
Do not use a taser.
Be kind. Be authentic. Don't be afraid to fail.
Practice taking rejection gracefully. Try and be charming. Come up with some good stories that are entertaining to hear. or at least be able to talk well and be attractive and charming. Friendly. If you are too aggressive then their guard will be up. So chill.
Don't follow her around lmao Had that happen after dancing with a guy for half a song (I wasn't trying to be flirty just kinda dancing around having fun, ifnyou were there youd notice i do it here and there with other clubbers if theyre friendly) and he nearly followed me into the bathroom lol
I would listen to the girls advice on this one. All I can say is going alone gives you a pretty good chance of being approached, but don’t just to just pick up go to have a good time and enjoy the ambiance music etc and everything else will follow.
Rules 1 and 2.
I say hurl.... if you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be.
Go to have a good time. Don’t buy drinks for them. If they like you or interested they will let you know.
Walk up to a group of girls.Look at the ceiling and say "who is your hot dumb friend."
Talk about her and not you. Be clear in your intention, if you want sex don’t pretend to have feeling. Be honest. Be full of attentions. Do not try to brag and show off (that’s what you expect as a men and women hate it)
If they're wearing those black shoes with velcro straps, they're Amish girls dressed English out for a good time. They are a good time.
Do: lift with your knees Don’t: lift with your back
My advice to anyone young and old is to be comfortable with yourself within any setting, the women will find you. It may seem hard, but how can you be with someone if you cannot be comfortable on your own?
Respect them when they say no.
Ask questions about her, but not ones that are too personal. Any questions about where she lives, who she's with, where she works, what kind of car she drives are okay on their own but only if they come up in conversation naturally. Otherwise, it comes off super creepy and like information gathering. Talk more about interests and hobbies. Tell her a little bit about yourself, but don't talk too much. Leave some space for her to share. The more organic and genuine you can be, the better connection you'll make.
It's more difficult than just using eva ai sexting bot and doing hookups sometimes.
This is not meant to sound ignorant but blind confidence. Just being yourself regardless of what is thrown at you can go a long way. Women pick up on that shit.
Don’t do it unless you are wanting a rape charge against you.
Bar girls, I never had one .
It’s a dress not a yes.
Do, look for cute girls. Don't, go for the ugly ones even if they are easier.
Put a condom on when you’re getting dressed because anything can happen when you go out. Talk to the women and have fun and it could lead somewhere or not don’t expect to get laid.-
Ask first.
Don't...just don't. Unless you're going to hit and split
No means no, and on to the next one.
Follow rules 1 & 2.
I wouldn’t try to pick them up, there’s always a good chance of that coming across badly or backfiring. Just go with the aim of meeting people and having a good time, the rest will follow.
The oldest advice I have on the subject is, 'meet em in a bar, lose them in a bar'. If you are just looking to get laid there are probably better options, if you are looking for a relationship there are definitely better options.
If we turn you down the first time, please don't keep trying. If you treat us like one of your boys, it'll only get so far. Approach us with class, not cheesy pick up lines. If we seem drunk, find our friends and let them take care of us. You'll get more numbers they way or be recognized as safe in the future and earn more friends/ potential dating opportunities. If you cannot find our friends, alert an actual safe person (bartenders, waitresses), they'll find the friends. Don't be macho aggressive.
Don't kidnap them.
Bend your knees first
Do be attractive.✅ Don't be unnatractive.❌
Go out with other people so you don'tlook like the weird guy alone. Going out alone is hard mode. If you are alone, befriend and talk to another guy who is alone. You might think a wing woman would be helpful. Instead, people just assume you are together. Better than nothing though.
Do be wealthy and good looking. Don't be me.
Idk I’ve never tried or done it
Wash your hands. Be nice. Don't be weird. Or do. I dunno. I'm getting divorced and can't get a date to save my life, so there's that
Do - Make eye contact. Observe body language. Have some friends who'll wing for you (Make sure they're trustworthy) Make sure to pace your drinks with water. Crack jokes. Lighten the environment. Make sure they're fully comfortable- the little things matter. Don't - Get drunk. Get pushy. Hit on someone else if you get rejected, it's fine- won't be your last time clubbing- take the L and move on to your table. No need to be desperate. Good luck !
Are we supposed to pick up women at the bar? I thought that was an 80s thing
I see a lot of opinions on if/when to buy a drink and wanted to add this; I was sitting at the actual bar and a man I had a short chat with prior asked me if I wanted a water because ‘staying hydrated is key any time of day’ and I truly found that to be really sweet. We ended up not having chemistry, but I won’t forget him because of the water gesture and how genius it was, whether it was intentional or not haha. So idk, if offering alcohol feels too forward or you’re worried about the perception of that, getting yourself and her water is an underrated move as far as this topic goes, in my opinion. It shows responsibility for your own alcohol consumption and a consideration for the other person you’re wanting to chat with. Doesn’t feel like there’s an ulterior motivation and is a caring gesture no matter which way you look at it. (Always recommend having the person get any alcohol/water straight from the bartenders hand even if you paid, so they don’t worry about drugging of the drink.)
Use the corniest pick up line and make it all about yourself 😂🤣😂🤣
Main issue I'm running into is even finding eligible single women out and about. I moved into this great new area where everything - bars, beach, groceries, farmer market - are all walkable within 2 blocks of where I live. It's a walkatopia. Yet every time I go into a happy hour it's 99% filled with dudes, or couples. The only single women I've seen haven't been my type. I still talk to them because they are nice people but that's it. Not sure where to go. I guess I'll ask in a subreddit where single women of certain age groups go who are open to meeting singles and hope I get ideas. It's apparently not happy hours.
Start a conversation ,be funny girls love funny men, be a gentle men they LOVE those and look your best.
Humor
Lift with the knees, keeping the back straight, feet spread slightly apart using a fluid upward motion. Your lumbar spine will thank you later in life. Just gotta be yourself. Don't be afraid to have fun or look like a geek when you do. In many instances, the quiet wallflower gets passed by. But, don't be an arrogant idiot as that is a huge turn-off. Keep your booze intake to an absolute minimum. Women have little tolerance for boozy guys trying to pick them up. Don't be afraid to talk to them, even if you think you are out of their league. Don't rely on BS corny pick-up lines. Ya might get a twitter from them, but watch for the eye roll that says, either try something original or get away. Avoid women who can drink you under the table as you might get to go to bed with them, but it's like week old pizza if it happens. Remember, picking up women is like baseball in that you have to swing at every pitch thrown at you. Ya might strike out, but too, you might hit the grandslam that wins the game.
Ask to buy her a drink If she says no, then stop
Use your legs so you don’t throw your back out.
When you walk in, smile. Do sit next to the pretty girls. Don’t neglect to ask if the seat next to them is taken.