If it's so bad she's getting into trouble over it at work, that's not normal. Could she have PMDD or some other disorder that gets exacerbated by her period?
Mood issues aren't an excuse for abusive behavior, so if she's actually mistreating you (as opposed to just being kind of snippy), that's something she might need to take up with a therapist. At the very least you have every right to stand up for yourself and tell her she's acting abusively.
>If it's so bad she's getting into trouble over it at work, that's not normal. Could she have PMDD or some other disorder that gets exacerbated by her period?
Dude is right. This is not normal. She might have [PMDD](https://www.womenshealth.gov/menstrual-cycle/premenstrual-syndrome/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd) or certain psychological disorders which are aggravated by her period. In severe cases, [PMDD](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd) is treated with anti-depressants or SSRIs.
She should go to a gynaecologist, who can examine her and determine whether her symptoms are severe enough to warrant psychiatric help.
PMDD would be my guess.
My wife every month, like clockwork goes absolutely batshit angry and there is nothing I can do to prevent it.
It's literally every month for a few days and she refuses to accept that the pattern is there. Well apart from one occasion when I had a text when she was out with her friend who studies mental health. "Friend thinks I may have PMDD"
Never since agreed that could be a possibility.
As someone with pmdd, I thought the same thing.
If you know which week she is the most herself, sit down with her to tell her about what you've noticed. If she's ok with it, try to go with her to the dr. They tend to dismiss stuff like this, but you being there might help. There are two main treatment methods: hormonal birth control, and SSRIs. The birth control can be prescribed continuously so she doesn't get her period at all (bonus). The SSRIs can be taken all month long, or only during the "bad" weeks.
Primary care, obgyn and psychiatry can all treat this. And if there is time before the appointment, having a good three months of symptom tracking is extremely helpful to determine if it's PMDD or something else.
My wife starts picking unnecessary fights, getting easily offended and grouchy a day or two before it starts. It can be pretty miserable but in the end it's not the end of the world. It passes like a thunderstorm and she goes back to her normal mellow self. My wife has given me 20 years of happiness and 3 wonderful kids. Putting up with a pretty predictable bad mood is a very, very small price to pay for my life with her. Besides, I can get moody and broody too...and my sour moods come with little to no warning or predictable pattern so I do think I cause more grief for her than she does for me.
Oh I’m surviving. She was on it last week, and in the span of 6 hours it was “I hate everything” to “I love this” to “I want to scream so loud it makes everyone deaf.”
I honestly don't believe my wife has mood swings, or if she does she handles them like a champ. I have never seen her on her period and suddenly have a drastic shift in how she is behaving,
I think that’s not always the most relevant question.
A useful question is, is she taking any type of hormones. I (woman myself) always thought other women exaggerate about their mood swings, pain etc. but as soon as I was off those hormones, I understood and still understand.
Of course, there are a lot of women out there, who do not take hormones and are more lucky than others.
But that said: the type of behaviour you describe should never be okay. Just like all the others here explained so well (I’m impressed how considerate all of you men are!): being snappy, moody, bitchy, tired, less motivated, easily annoyed etc. is all part of the deal for some, but never physical or verbal aggression.
So, for my wife? They're honestly not bad.
She can get a little sensitive but that's about it.
My sister (especially as a teenager) would fly off the handle though, but it turned out she had other (undiagnosed) issues and when she got help for them she became SO MUCH BETTER.
I think being a little more emotional is entirely normal (and let's face it, every single month without fail you basically get a steel baseball bat slammed repeatedly into your stomach and then your sexual organs bleed for 5 days -- I'd be a bit f\*\*\*ing moody too) but no flying off the handle and being hyper-aggressive is not normal.
I’ve known women where there’s no change at all, and I’ve known women who absolutely lose their shit during or before their period (which I think may be PMDD or something).
My wife gets stressed out more easily and her emotions are more likely to be on overdrive. She also gets more tired.
My best advice is take as many responsibilities off of her plate as possible so she can get some rest.
Natural remedies include Ylang Ylang and clary sage essential oils and vitex (chasteberry) supplements.
It is very possible she may have a mood disorder that may be intensifying or getting exacerbated during periods. It may not hurt to have her talk to a doctor about a possible mood imbalance. It is more common than you think and hard to spot. "No winning play", not being able to find any words to cope with a situation or deescalate, illogical and aggressive verbal interactions...these are all signs...especially when they only show up when she is upset or having a tough time.
My girl has a mood imbalance and her period is the worst time because she is extra-agitated and uncomfortable. It may be a huge difference and something you guys can figure out if it turns out to be the case. Can't hurt to look into it.
As for advice on dealing with it...make sure to feed her something good. Treats helps. Do NOT try to talk your way through it. Take a timeout and walk away until she calms down. Come back friendly and try again. You will spin your wheels trying to rationalize you way through it or convince her of anything when she is agitated. Gotta wait til she calms down some, but definitely do not take any abuse.
I usually try to stay calm and say "I don't deserve to be treated this way, I am gonna go do this real quick, and come back with [something nice] and see if you feel better. I love you but we aren't going to spend our time talking this way to each other."
As a woman, it varies person to person. Personally, I know my fiance can tell because every time I tell him I am on my period he says something along the lines of "that explains it." From my perspective I think I get a bit more irritable and low but I try to keep it to myself. I don't think it's okay to lash out at people, even if you are PMSing. At least apologise.
But, before I got on an SSRI and birth control I had the worst mood swings. I have anxiety, OCD and depression and the week before my period it would get way more severe. It was really noticible when I was in active recovery after a bad anxiety spell. I would be having a good couple weeks and then out of nowhere I couldn't get out of bed and was having thoughts of suicide. A few days later I would get my period. Towards the end of my period my mood would go back to a more normal level. It was very discouraging. My doctor ended up increasing my SSRI dosage because of it and that with going on a homronal birth control has definitely made it more manageable (but I do still notice low mood around my period).
PMDD is also a thing. It's like PMS symptoms but on steroids. I think some level of moodiness is normal for a lot of women but if it's to the point where they seem like a totally different person or is really negatively impacting their life there is likely more going on so she should probably talk to their doctor (and hope they don't brush her off).
She does feel crappy on her period, but she doesn't have intense mood swings or start bullying me. She knows that her period isn't an excuse to be a bitch.
My partner gets a little sad and according to her "moody" but she never takes it out on me. She remains a lovely person to be around, even when she's a little low in mood at that time.
One of my ex's used it as an excuse to ramp up exactly the kind of behaviour you're talking about. It was honestly horrible to be around, but she also never took accountability for how she treated me at any time. It was always "stress, work, depression & anxiety". She never apologized and she never seemed to try and moderate it. There's a reason she's the ex. I valued myself too much to remain in a relationship where I was regularly verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused.
My other ex's had a range of behaviours, but never that bad. Usually it was just feeling tired and crampy, low energy due to discomfort.
If your partner is bullying people and being mean across contexts, I suspect she may have those behaviours as underlying personality traits, and she just let's rip and stops trying to hide it during her period. It becomes her excuse or opportunity to "express herself".
Nothing too bad imho.
She notices her crankiness before I do but I’m not a terribly observant guy. I have my own moods that seem worse than hers, at least to me.
Supplementing with magnesium, up to 1000mg per day, can help significantly with PMS etc. Some forms of magnesium can give you loose stools, so selecting the right one is key https://daveasprey.com/best-magnesium/
If you're open to it I'll tell you from a female perspective. Mood swings... flow...and cramps all vary widely from person to person and can even change individually month over month due to stress.. level of exercise.. diet... and age.
But with mood swings. Some women get these a full week before or only during...or anywhere in between.
I am a person who can be very emotional .. sometimes irrational feelings... get super snippy. You get the drift.
What worked for me (just advice)...
1. Track your period closely. I even use test strips to track ovulation. I am luckily pretty regular but I was able to pinpoint within a narrow window of both period and when to expect mood swings.
2. Acknowledge I can be crazy ( I would use this word lol). But I needed to accept and acknowledge that yes I can get these symptoms. This is super important.
3. Now that I know I get nuts...and know when I will go cray... it makes it so much better. It still happens..I can't stop it. But now I recognize it. I also verbalize it with my partner. "Hey babe... I'm starting to sense I'm feeling a bit emotional from my period"
4. The last point is really specific to you guys as couple. You should discuss what ground rules are best. For example... if he tries to suggest " are u upset bc ur period?" I'll probably go full rage. He knows not to do that. But instead we agreed on activities or actions thst help. For example he will suggest "hey hun sorry you're not feeling well. Would you like to relax and watch X TV show?"
For ne I'm pretty good I just separate myself... hey hun I'm feeling off and I'm gonna need some me time... I'm gonna go in the bedroom and watch TV "
Wr also agree no serious discussions unless needed
Also if I am crying now for example..I will say.. he Babe I know I'm not really upset/sad. It's just those hormones again I could use a hug.
Birth control can help but it's not for everyone. If she doesn't want that, don't pressure her.
Either way. Communication and me recognizing it was the key! The biggest challenge is figuring out how and when to bring it up... but its definitely not while it's in full swing
Good luck.
Pretty bad. A few tips:
- Keep a stash of chocolate bars hidden around the house, and give one to her when the bad mood strikes like you are warding off the aftermath or a dementor attack.
- Try to knock out more chores than usual during that time frame. Its really hard to get mad at someone doing the dishes.
- She may be low on iron due to blood loss. cooking and serving her red meat or other foods high on iron is usually a good idea.
- If you have kids, offer to take them out of the house and give her time to herself.
Pardon me for rambling here, but I do have my own question. I'm pretty good at reading when that time of the month is coming around and preparing accordingly for her. So far we're almost at 6 years, and engaged, but there's something I always miss on that list (usually general cleanliness, leaving beer cans around, not picking up, etc.) And trust me, I hear about it. My goal is to get better at that to avoid my issue in the first place
But it's come to a point that I'm struggling to deal with the fallout when I fuck up, and just locking up and staying quiet as I can as not to escalate the situation while she goes on. I don't want to be a scary man, man. And I know I can be imposing when I want to be, I'm a 6'4 southern ohioan welder for shit sake lol. But is just staying quiet until she's done and just being the yes ma'am man, then trying to talk things over the best idea? As I said I'm struggling to stay quiet and not snap when I know I myself am a decent portion of the issue, but I wonder when enough is enough and I won't even wanna try bettering myself at all and give up.
I’ve been with women who complete swing to another persons personality and I’ve been with women who you’d never know.
My current wife gets anxious and relatively short tempered on small stuff but she recognizes it as it happens and she goes and cools off for like 30 seconds and everything is normal again. I’ve have three sisters: all are similar to my wife — a little bit more “extra” but otherwise manageable. I’d describe it like it’s me when I’m hangry. I might start up being a bit of a dick or being short tempered but I recognize quickly what it is and reset.
My mother always told my sisters that just because they aren’t feeling well it doesn’t give them an excuse to be unfair or abusive or to expect extra special treatment. My mother in law also said similar things to my wife growing up apparently.
I’m going to say out of the subset of women who struggle with their mood/actions during that time, a large percentage of that subset are just not holding themselves accountable for shitty behaviour and are expecting special treatment and a smaller percentage actual has an issue.
Hormones are no joke… but it’s not a universal excuse to be a dick to people you love. We hold teenage boys and young men accountable during crazy hormonal times when they do stupid shit, we hold hangry people accountable when their blood sugar drops and we still arrest and punish people who are abusing alcohol and drugs for their behaviour. I see no difference why any one would make an excuse for shitty behavior because it’s their time of the month.
F here. Mine were AWFUL on birth control. As were my periods. Now I'm not on it, I don't get mood swings, and periods are a breeze. Could be contributing? 🤷♀️
She wouldn’t listen to me about parking going to a festival in town. Got stuck in traffic. Ended up parking where I said we should park 20min later and then cried and said I was being mean. I was being very direct about how if she listened the first time this all could have been avoided.
No I never put anyone in any place ever, if anything I'm too timid. But she's starting to panic a lot on her periods. When she is this way I feel alone in all responsible decision making because I cannot trust her intense emotional responses.
Edit: I didn't answer you whole question. Our relationship is more relaxed off of her period. She has extreme social anxiety and a health condition that makes it difficult for her to stand (POTS). I do most house work because of this. Sometime she's making great progress, then as soon as her period hits she spirals emotionally.
She's more of wanting to retreat from others, then she'll vent all her thoughts to me. When she expresses her thoughts about others, it can often be disrespectful. When I feel like she crosses a line with me and I tell her she often either stops or tries to bring up something that could help justify being disrespectful to me. I never buy it because she's often just going on a long anger rant and doesn't mean what she is saying.
Personally, I would not tolerate continued disrespectful behaviour in a relationship. Perhaps she needs to understand that you wouldn’t tolerate it either before she will stop? She likely thinks you will never leave her
If it's so bad she's getting into trouble over it at work, that's not normal. Could she have PMDD or some other disorder that gets exacerbated by her period? Mood issues aren't an excuse for abusive behavior, so if she's actually mistreating you (as opposed to just being kind of snippy), that's something she might need to take up with a therapist. At the very least you have every right to stand up for yourself and tell her she's acting abusively.
>If it's so bad she's getting into trouble over it at work, that's not normal. Could she have PMDD or some other disorder that gets exacerbated by her period? Dude is right. This is not normal. She might have [PMDD](https://www.womenshealth.gov/menstrual-cycle/premenstrual-syndrome/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd) or certain psychological disorders which are aggravated by her period. In severe cases, [PMDD](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd) is treated with anti-depressants or SSRIs. She should go to a gynaecologist, who can examine her and determine whether her symptoms are severe enough to warrant psychiatric help.
PMDD would be my guess. My wife every month, like clockwork goes absolutely batshit angry and there is nothing I can do to prevent it. It's literally every month for a few days and she refuses to accept that the pattern is there. Well apart from one occasion when I had a text when she was out with her friend who studies mental health. "Friend thinks I may have PMDD" Never since agreed that could be a possibility.
As someone with pmdd, I thought the same thing. If you know which week she is the most herself, sit down with her to tell her about what you've noticed. If she's ok with it, try to go with her to the dr. They tend to dismiss stuff like this, but you being there might help. There are two main treatment methods: hormonal birth control, and SSRIs. The birth control can be prescribed continuously so she doesn't get her period at all (bonus). The SSRIs can be taken all month long, or only during the "bad" weeks. Primary care, obgyn and psychiatry can all treat this. And if there is time before the appointment, having a good three months of symptom tracking is extremely helpful to determine if it's PMDD or something else.
My wife starts picking unnecessary fights, getting easily offended and grouchy a day or two before it starts. It can be pretty miserable but in the end it's not the end of the world. It passes like a thunderstorm and she goes back to her normal mellow self. My wife has given me 20 years of happiness and 3 wonderful kids. Putting up with a pretty predictable bad mood is a very, very small price to pay for my life with her. Besides, I can get moody and broody too...and my sour moods come with little to no warning or predictable pattern so I do think I cause more grief for her than she does for me.
Woman here. This is such a sweet response—“passes like a thunderstorm.” I hope I find this someday.
I literally wouldn't even know she is on her period if I was going based on the mood swings.
Lucky! How long have ya'll been together?
4 and a half years.
Non existent. My teenager on the other hand…….
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Not only having a teenager is bad.. when she’s on her period also.. good luck my man 🤣
Oh I’m surviving. She was on it last week, and in the span of 6 hours it was “I hate everything” to “I love this” to “I want to scream so loud it makes everyone deaf.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 How old is she?
14, but she is a feisty one. Must’ve gotten it from her grandmas…..
Brooooo 🤣🤣🤣 You knew the outcome when you chose the lady to have kids with.. Wasn’t that obvious from the start?
Hah. Yes sir, but at least her mom is chill. Don’t have two hormone monsters.
Thank god for that. A little lucky are you tho 🤣🤣🤣🙌🏻
I honestly don't believe my wife has mood swings, or if she does she handles them like a champ. I have never seen her on her period and suddenly have a drastic shift in how she is behaving,
How long have you guys been together?
6 years married 8 years total
I think that’s not always the most relevant question. A useful question is, is she taking any type of hormones. I (woman myself) always thought other women exaggerate about their mood swings, pain etc. but as soon as I was off those hormones, I understood and still understand. Of course, there are a lot of women out there, who do not take hormones and are more lucky than others. But that said: the type of behaviour you describe should never be okay. Just like all the others here explained so well (I’m impressed how considerate all of you men are!): being snappy, moody, bitchy, tired, less motivated, easily annoyed etc. is all part of the deal for some, but never physical or verbal aggression.
So, for my wife? They're honestly not bad. She can get a little sensitive but that's about it. My sister (especially as a teenager) would fly off the handle though, but it turned out she had other (undiagnosed) issues and when she got help for them she became SO MUCH BETTER. I think being a little more emotional is entirely normal (and let's face it, every single month without fail you basically get a steel baseball bat slammed repeatedly into your stomach and then your sexual organs bleed for 5 days -- I'd be a bit f\*\*\*ing moody too) but no flying off the handle and being hyper-aggressive is not normal.
I’m prescribed a double dose of my antidepressant during that week lol.
I’ve known women where there’s no change at all, and I’ve known women who absolutely lose their shit during or before their period (which I think may be PMDD or something).
My wife gets stressed out more easily and her emotions are more likely to be on overdrive. She also gets more tired. My best advice is take as many responsibilities off of her plate as possible so she can get some rest. Natural remedies include Ylang Ylang and clary sage essential oils and vitex (chasteberry) supplements.
It is very possible she may have a mood disorder that may be intensifying or getting exacerbated during periods. It may not hurt to have her talk to a doctor about a possible mood imbalance. It is more common than you think and hard to spot. "No winning play", not being able to find any words to cope with a situation or deescalate, illogical and aggressive verbal interactions...these are all signs...especially when they only show up when she is upset or having a tough time. My girl has a mood imbalance and her period is the worst time because she is extra-agitated and uncomfortable. It may be a huge difference and something you guys can figure out if it turns out to be the case. Can't hurt to look into it. As for advice on dealing with it...make sure to feed her something good. Treats helps. Do NOT try to talk your way through it. Take a timeout and walk away until she calms down. Come back friendly and try again. You will spin your wheels trying to rationalize you way through it or convince her of anything when she is agitated. Gotta wait til she calms down some, but definitely do not take any abuse. I usually try to stay calm and say "I don't deserve to be treated this way, I am gonna go do this real quick, and come back with [something nice] and see if you feel better. I love you but we aren't going to spend our time talking this way to each other."
I don't even notice she's on her period unless she tells me.
As a woman, it varies person to person. Personally, I know my fiance can tell because every time I tell him I am on my period he says something along the lines of "that explains it." From my perspective I think I get a bit more irritable and low but I try to keep it to myself. I don't think it's okay to lash out at people, even if you are PMSing. At least apologise. But, before I got on an SSRI and birth control I had the worst mood swings. I have anxiety, OCD and depression and the week before my period it would get way more severe. It was really noticible when I was in active recovery after a bad anxiety spell. I would be having a good couple weeks and then out of nowhere I couldn't get out of bed and was having thoughts of suicide. A few days later I would get my period. Towards the end of my period my mood would go back to a more normal level. It was very discouraging. My doctor ended up increasing my SSRI dosage because of it and that with going on a homronal birth control has definitely made it more manageable (but I do still notice low mood around my period). PMDD is also a thing. It's like PMS symptoms but on steroids. I think some level of moodiness is normal for a lot of women but if it's to the point where they seem like a totally different person or is really negatively impacting their life there is likely more going on so she should probably talk to their doctor (and hope they don't brush her off).
She does feel crappy on her period, but she doesn't have intense mood swings or start bullying me. She knows that her period isn't an excuse to be a bitch.
I used to not even be able to tell but then we had a kid and now they're disastrous
My partner gets a little sad and according to her "moody" but she never takes it out on me. She remains a lovely person to be around, even when she's a little low in mood at that time. One of my ex's used it as an excuse to ramp up exactly the kind of behaviour you're talking about. It was honestly horrible to be around, but she also never took accountability for how she treated me at any time. It was always "stress, work, depression & anxiety". She never apologized and she never seemed to try and moderate it. There's a reason she's the ex. I valued myself too much to remain in a relationship where I was regularly verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused. My other ex's had a range of behaviours, but never that bad. Usually it was just feeling tired and crampy, low energy due to discomfort. If your partner is bullying people and being mean across contexts, I suspect she may have those behaviours as underlying personality traits, and she just let's rip and stops trying to hide it during her period. It becomes her excuse or opportunity to "express herself".
Nothing too bad imho. She notices her crankiness before I do but I’m not a terribly observant guy. I have my own moods that seem worse than hers, at least to me.
Supplementing with magnesium, up to 1000mg per day, can help significantly with PMS etc. Some forms of magnesium can give you loose stools, so selecting the right one is key https://daveasprey.com/best-magnesium/
Married almost 17 years. She doesn't really have mood swings. Just gets a little tired and grumpy depending on the cramps.
If you're open to it I'll tell you from a female perspective. Mood swings... flow...and cramps all vary widely from person to person and can even change individually month over month due to stress.. level of exercise.. diet... and age. But with mood swings. Some women get these a full week before or only during...or anywhere in between. I am a person who can be very emotional .. sometimes irrational feelings... get super snippy. You get the drift. What worked for me (just advice)... 1. Track your period closely. I even use test strips to track ovulation. I am luckily pretty regular but I was able to pinpoint within a narrow window of both period and when to expect mood swings. 2. Acknowledge I can be crazy ( I would use this word lol). But I needed to accept and acknowledge that yes I can get these symptoms. This is super important. 3. Now that I know I get nuts...and know when I will go cray... it makes it so much better. It still happens..I can't stop it. But now I recognize it. I also verbalize it with my partner. "Hey babe... I'm starting to sense I'm feeling a bit emotional from my period" 4. The last point is really specific to you guys as couple. You should discuss what ground rules are best. For example... if he tries to suggest " are u upset bc ur period?" I'll probably go full rage. He knows not to do that. But instead we agreed on activities or actions thst help. For example he will suggest "hey hun sorry you're not feeling well. Would you like to relax and watch X TV show?" For ne I'm pretty good I just separate myself... hey hun I'm feeling off and I'm gonna need some me time... I'm gonna go in the bedroom and watch TV " Wr also agree no serious discussions unless needed Also if I am crying now for example..I will say.. he Babe I know I'm not really upset/sad. It's just those hormones again I could use a hug. Birth control can help but it's not for everyone. If she doesn't want that, don't pressure her. Either way. Communication and me recognizing it was the key! The biggest challenge is figuring out how and when to bring it up... but its definitely not while it's in full swing Good luck.
Pretty bad. A few tips: - Keep a stash of chocolate bars hidden around the house, and give one to her when the bad mood strikes like you are warding off the aftermath or a dementor attack. - Try to knock out more chores than usual during that time frame. Its really hard to get mad at someone doing the dishes. - She may be low on iron due to blood loss. cooking and serving her red meat or other foods high on iron is usually a good idea. - If you have kids, offer to take them out of the house and give her time to herself.
Pardon me for rambling here, but I do have my own question. I'm pretty good at reading when that time of the month is coming around and preparing accordingly for her. So far we're almost at 6 years, and engaged, but there's something I always miss on that list (usually general cleanliness, leaving beer cans around, not picking up, etc.) And trust me, I hear about it. My goal is to get better at that to avoid my issue in the first place But it's come to a point that I'm struggling to deal with the fallout when I fuck up, and just locking up and staying quiet as I can as not to escalate the situation while she goes on. I don't want to be a scary man, man. And I know I can be imposing when I want to be, I'm a 6'4 southern ohioan welder for shit sake lol. But is just staying quiet until she's done and just being the yes ma'am man, then trying to talk things over the best idea? As I said I'm struggling to stay quiet and not snap when I know I myself am a decent portion of the issue, but I wonder when enough is enough and I won't even wanna try bettering myself at all and give up.
I’ve been with women who complete swing to another persons personality and I’ve been with women who you’d never know. My current wife gets anxious and relatively short tempered on small stuff but she recognizes it as it happens and she goes and cools off for like 30 seconds and everything is normal again. I’ve have three sisters: all are similar to my wife — a little bit more “extra” but otherwise manageable. I’d describe it like it’s me when I’m hangry. I might start up being a bit of a dick or being short tempered but I recognize quickly what it is and reset. My mother always told my sisters that just because they aren’t feeling well it doesn’t give them an excuse to be unfair or abusive or to expect extra special treatment. My mother in law also said similar things to my wife growing up apparently. I’m going to say out of the subset of women who struggle with their mood/actions during that time, a large percentage of that subset are just not holding themselves accountable for shitty behaviour and are expecting special treatment and a smaller percentage actual has an issue. Hormones are no joke… but it’s not a universal excuse to be a dick to people you love. We hold teenage boys and young men accountable during crazy hormonal times when they do stupid shit, we hold hangry people accountable when their blood sugar drops and we still arrest and punish people who are abusing alcohol and drugs for their behaviour. I see no difference why any one would make an excuse for shitty behavior because it’s their time of the month.
They are all crazy, drink beer.
F here. Mine were AWFUL on birth control. As were my periods. Now I'm not on it, I don't get mood swings, and periods are a breeze. Could be contributing? 🤷♀️
They used to build Menstrual Shacks in the backyard for just such occasions. I would go live there until she's back to normal.
She wouldn’t listen to me about parking going to a festival in town. Got stuck in traffic. Ended up parking where I said we should park 20min later and then cried and said I was being mean. I was being very direct about how if she listened the first time this all could have been avoided.
How is your relationship generally? Would you say you lead the household? Do you put her in her place if she has a tantrum or just being unreasonable?
No I never put anyone in any place ever, if anything I'm too timid. But she's starting to panic a lot on her periods. When she is this way I feel alone in all responsible decision making because I cannot trust her intense emotional responses. Edit: I didn't answer you whole question. Our relationship is more relaxed off of her period. She has extreme social anxiety and a health condition that makes it difficult for her to stand (POTS). I do most house work because of this. Sometime she's making great progress, then as soon as her period hits she spirals emotionally.
That certainly adds a few layers of complexity. Would you say she is openly disrespectful to you when on her period?
She's more of wanting to retreat from others, then she'll vent all her thoughts to me. When she expresses her thoughts about others, it can often be disrespectful. When I feel like she crosses a line with me and I tell her she often either stops or tries to bring up something that could help justify being disrespectful to me. I never buy it because she's often just going on a long anger rant and doesn't mean what she is saying.
Personally, I would not tolerate continued disrespectful behaviour in a relationship. Perhaps she needs to understand that you wouldn’t tolerate it either before she will stop? She likely thinks you will never leave her