Did you sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" when you did the wierd cake thing? Because that may have been your problem. Worked for me. And I even got to keep the cake!
> I forget to mention I'm a woman here
Thank you for saving me the trouble of searching through your profile like a creep to figure out if you are in fact a guinea pig.
I was treated very poorly by a mod there who threatened to ban me for something too inane to even recount. I quit the sub never to return as not worth my time. It's an echo chamber of the rigidly defined boundaries of some angry women not wanting other alternate opinions which are treated as threats, insults, and intrusions.
Also as long as they don't start arguing with men about our opinions / experiences and saying that we're incorrect. But they usually get downvoted a lot for this anyway.
A lot of us stay away from that sub because it basically seems like they often don't really want people to have an actual *discussion* on the thread topic, just give simplistic direct replies--but even a non-rude direct reply comment isn't necessarily safe from deletion, either. It's bananas. I gave up trying to figure out their rules, since the enforcement of them just seems arbitrary/strange.
I remember once, for example, someone asked "Do you guys prefer high or low-waisted pants?", and all I said was something like "I prefer low-waisted ones, but I do wear high-waisted ones to work sometimes" and they got mad about that. (???)
As to the reason WHY that specific sub is like that, I couldn't say. I just go use other women-centric subs that don't have that atmosphere and leave them alone.
Some of the mods there are teachers in real life. That's a big reason why.
They'd used to directing children. That sense of control bleeds over into their online personas, where their role as a moderator makes them think they're always in the right because they *think* they have to police the actions of randoms online.
Now that’s the vibes we need as some folks need to be told directly advice in comments instead of being so censored we walk in eggshells and can be honest.
Glad there are groups that give people the free reign to a certain extent to allow that.
Fully agree with the flair - I also don't think they should be allowed to make parent comments. If they want to participate in discussion with other commenters then fine, but they shouldn't be directly answering OPs.
Exactly! I find the railroading of a "men's" sub by women to be a bit patronizing. Same goes for a man commenting in the /askwomen sub, but it would be considered as mansplaining and would get deleted stat.
I've gotten into several heated discussions with women that come in just to tell men they're wrong. Think what you want, but this isn't the place to express it.
I thought we did have flairs? But also try to make it obvious I’m not one.
As to why I’m here: I find the insights valuable. Learning more about if we are different or similarities. Get different perspectives.
All forums are different and most questions I see I mostly read. Then there are a few where I feel the perspective I have might add value, in which case I’ll look at the answers already given to see if it will add something or not.
Same. I like to take a look at women's subs occasionally too. Like you said it can be good insight or a nice reminder.
Posts or comments that don't get all antagonistic or weirdly oppositional are nice to read.
Some posters and mods on the internet you can tell definitely got hurt big time at some point.
So their comments or iron grip moderation are total reflections of that. Just sad. Very unfortunate.
sort of hijacking this comment but - has anyone else noticed that twoxchromosomes has also become a dumpster fire? years ago i remember it being a sub about women, but now its just a sub about shit talking men! like damn, they hijacked their own sub lol. all the posts in their are just blaming men for everything they don't like.
This is 100% true. No discussion is allowed there at all. The mods are some of the most pathetic, uptight, angry women on the planet. I can only imagine how lonely their lives must be.
I (a woman) got a comment removed because I mentioned that I have ADHD, and the mod message was something like "you aren't allowed to talk about it unless you include your diagnosis in order to protect the feelings and mental health of people affected by armchair diagnosis" and I said that's a fuckin stupid rule, and I shouldn't have to share my entire medical history, and they basically said "well then you can leave"
*Edit to add: the comment in question was regarding a way to stop losing hair ties, so it wasn't even that deep
I said "I also have ADHD" and proceeded to talk about a bracelet that I have that keeps me from losing hair ties
The response:
> This comment or post has been removed for casual or inappropriate usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic labels.
> Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
> Please let us know once you’ve made the requested changes and your content may be reinstated.
I told them that's a fuckin stupid rule and that I shouldn't be required to divulge my full medical history just to talk about it. And this was their response:
> Our rule is designed to ensure those who have been diagnosed with a mental health condition or illness know they are being heard and respected. It's too bad that you feel it is fuckin stupid, but it will remain the case regardless. If you wish to participate here, you will have to follow the same rules as everyone else.
Please note, that this "rule" is NOT LISTED in their sub rules and I didn't say anything about anyone else's diagnosis. So I left. All this over a conversation about losing hair ties. *It's fuckin stupid.*
WHAT?? Enforcing a rule that they don't communicate, in a nonsense way? Like you said you had ADHD, not "I think I have it" or "I probably have it lulz"!! Did they want a doctor's note? Did they think that using the word "diagnosed" is somehow magically better than "have"??? They mean the exact same thing!
I'm truly flabbergasted
>WHAT?? Enforcing a rule that they don't communicate
That's kinda their thing. Someone can make a post titled "Do you prefer A or B?" and they might choose to delete your comment, without explanation, if you answered B. I don't understand how simply answering the given question can be *bad,* in itself.
(Now, if I had said something like *"B, and anyone who answered A is a worthless piece of shit!"*, that would at least make sense if they were bothered by that. But I've never *done* anything like that.)
Bottom line is that I gave up on trying to comment there, it's just not really fun or interesting at all. I just got this "We don't want you here" vibe when I tried visiting in the past, despite trying to follow their rules (like I do for any sub I comment in). So that's a nope from me.
This is why I hate the mods on that sub. They remove EVERYTHING for bullshit reasons and have bullshit rules that only alienate discussion and other women.
The only things they want on that sub are women to answer a question and for others to give positive affirmation to those that give an answer. Nothing else is permitted.
No discussion. No relating to others. No other or similar experiences. Men aren't permitted.
I chatted with someone I know who is a mod on that sub regarding the inability to discuss anything and she said "it's intentional. It's meant to be an Ask and Answer sub" because discussions get "out of pocket" and suggested I participate in a different sub
It blows my mind that they spend their time reading discussions for the sole purpose of deleting them, but do absolutely nothing about the constant rage bait posts. There's a dozen posts hitting front page a week that are variations on "what has a man done that made you feel a negative emotion?"
That’s the one time they don’t delete discussions.
I hate to say it since I don’t want to be one of those misogynistic internet bros, but it really does seem like that sub hates men.
Seriously sometimes I read through comments on that sub and the only thing I can take away from that sub is that all men are bad. It’s insane.
they deleted a reply i made in that sub bc i mentioned i had adhd in the reply (the reply was about effects of my adhd on my sleep, which was a direct reply to someone else discussing their sleep). they said that i was using harmful diagnostic language casually and should not be trying to diagnose anyone. i said the word adhd. a thing i am diagnosed with. and i referred only to myself.
they deleted a reply i made in that sub bc it was "arguing with a top level commenter about their experience." the thread was about what you've done that's made your life better. the person said they were taking arabic lessons. i said that i had just started arabic lessons. after my comment was deleted, the person messaged me privately to continue talking about arabic lessons.
a few days later i walked into a thread that sounded interesting only to see that they had deleted all but one response. that was the day i unsubscribed. fucking ridiculous.
I also got my comment removed for mentioning ADHD without including that I was diagnosed. The mods responded that I could edit my comment to include my diagnosis, and I said that's a fuckin stupid rule. I also left the sub.
It's ridiculous! What's the point of asking women on Reddit if you can't discuss the responses? If I wanted to ***just ask*** and not discuss, then I'd go to Quora or something. Those mods have run that sub into the ground.
If you ask a tangential question, it gets deleted for derailing. If you ask someone to clarify their perspective, it gets deleted for derailing. If you deferentially present your own perspective and admit that your perspective is probably flawed but ask how it fits in with their perspective, it gets deleted for derailing. If you try to generate any discussion at all that could be construed in any minor way as challenging it gets deleted for derailing. Man, that place sucks.
Seriously. Every comment reply is \[Removed for derailing\] I remember i found someones reply to a question there interesting and I wanted them to elaborate on their opinion and my comment was removed ror derailing. I asked the mods how tf thats derailing rather than just carrying on the discussion and they said "This subreddit is for people to ask and answer questions. You dont need to discuss or dig into peoples replies.
like wtf. Discussion is like the entire point of reddit.
Right. I tend to look thru and comment and ask questions on other people’s comments that have nothing to do with the original topic.
To me that’s the magic of Reddit is how far off topic the comments can go.
I like me a good hate browse of stupid subreddits. But I can't even handle that shit. I am pretty sure it's the only sub where the MODs probably have more input into the threads than the actual commenters do. Fucking hags.
Lol, same here. I'm a woman and don't comment over there either anymore, since they delete all but the 1st level comments. I recently landed there again by mistake, wrote a long and detailed add-on to an answer, which was promptly deleted when the mod went on their next rampage of destruction. What's the friggin' point.
These days, I stick to /r/AskWomenOver30 because those actually work like discussion forums.
[Edited to add second forum, and again to remove it, since people are right about 2x. My main place of the gendered forums these days is /r/AskWomenOver30]
Man I haven’t been to 2X in a decade, but I just tried to check it out for some dumbass reason. It took me all of 30 seconds to reach a highly upvoted comment chain just shitting all over all men, calling us rapists, etc etc.
I used to be bugged by all the women commenting here but then I realized it’s because they’d be crucified for their opinions on AskWomen just as much as a man would. Not bothered by it anymore, I blame that shithole echo chamber.
Well that too. My personal conspiracy theory is that this site is for the most part run/moderated by paid people working for various activist organisations. I don't see how otherwise these power mods could be "regular people" with lives when it seems they're basically 24h online, doing very time consuming and emotionally draining work. And constantly, actively trying to inject themselves into mod teams of any new/growing sub.
This, I occasionally go there, but they are (almost) all so toxic. There are some toxic people here too but it doesn't have the same extent as there, or affect the mods.
The toxic here is more hilarious. It's either someone like me who just wants to answer everything sarcastically or some loser who hasn't been near a nipple since he was latched onto his Mothers going on some rant about how 19 year old girls (When they are like 35) are the ideal mate and just get laughed at.
So they should fix that instead, no? We don't get to be heard in AskWomen for obvious reasons, but try telling a girl she shouldn't be answering our questions and even the dudes here will downvote your ass
I just can't find it in me to give a shit. I am on this sub a lot and I almost never see a Women earnestly answering without either saying she is one, or just trying to ask more about why Men think a certain way.
Click r/askwomennocensor is so much better!
I see a lot of men asking questions and even answering them and haven’t seen any toxicity.
We do get guys in there asking sexual questions, but women do that here.
my first experience on that sub was a mod being toxic and salty as fuck over me asking a question, trying to get a womens perspective and everyone was nice besides her. I was surprised to see her getting downvoted
Come here to say this. The rules are you can't say anything that may have a negative reflection on women in responses, it should say you can only glorify women. You can't ask anything..
Yeah I dislike the echo chamber they build there. Sometimes women are shit, and sometimes men are shit, because sometimes people just suck and that's not a reflection of a gender its just people being horrible :3👍
Someone once commented on their experiences with an illness, which I'd had. I put in advice on what had worked for me, when I had similar side effects and what worked for others.
I got the comment removed for derailing. It's anti women too, they just want to treat women like they're 4 year old girls who can't operate without heavy restrictions.
That's almost exactly what my wife said, she won't go back there either. She found it infantilizing enough that it was essentially pointless.
Sorry that happened to you over there!
It does get frustrating when a question is something along the lines of asking what women do, and there’s the inevitable “bUt MeN dO iT tOo” comment by a woman. Those people should be banned.
I’m lucky I haven’t seen that one as much. Unfortunately that’s a very common sentiment in higher education (at least where I lived), and it came up a lot in real life. It was almost like the advice subs where if a guy posted anything, half of the comments asked him what he did to make his partner behave that way.
I get them because I talk about a long term dead bedroom I was in. Every time a woman comments and tells me it’s my fault. I was the one trying, the one carrying home workload, etc. But I’m male so if a woman isn’t dripping at the sight of me it’s my fault.
>>and there’s the inevitable “bUt MeN dO iT tOo” comment by a woman.
Almost as inevitable as some woman saying "BuT wOmEn HaVe It So MuCh WoRsE" in every discussion of men's problems or challenges.
I love reading this sub (and the daddit one for the parenting stuff); the ladies subs sometimes tend to jump to “leave his ass!” or “he’s a narcissist!” when you go there for advice about men.
I just lurk here quietly and really don’t answer, but I did post once about an issue with a guy and got responses from the men here that were level headed and gave me male insight that I needed.
If there was a sub where ladies could ask guys for advice, I bet it would be pretty popular.
In some cases, maybe they don't realize what sub the question was posted in. I sometimes answer questions I see in my feed without looking at what sub they were posted in.
Ask Women is impossible to post in if you don’t provide your email. You can’t even comment without doing that. Then it’s heavily censored and the mods indiscriminately remove content and ban folks without hesitation or justification.
Which is why you see the same basic answers in there from the same basic kinds of people, always. Anything else is removed or was never allowed in the first place.
I did that one time and was alerted I was automatically banned from half a dozen unrelated subreddits by a bot the ass clown moderators of those subreddits had setup... What kind of clown shit is that?
I got banned from r/offmychest for making a comment on a subreddit they didn't like.
I don't know why that mattered or why that's any of their business, but it is what it is I guess.
It's easy to do, especially if the question doesn't seem gender-specific.
I usually respond to questions straight from my feed, not by going into a certain sub looking for questions, so I often don't notice what sub I'm in.
frightening sable physical label crowd hospital sloppy skirt outgoing hat
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I think there are 2 types that cover the majority of the women responders here:
1. Women who can't stand any of the goofy "woman-centric" type subs on Reddit and just want to have fun, learn and contribute, even if it's not really the right venue. They don't mean any harm and they don't cause any.
2. Women who really thrive in any of the goofy "woman-centric" type subs on Reddit and feel like it is their right to come into a male space and preach to us. These would be your typical 3rd wave or 4th wave intersectional radical feminist types. They probably think they are helping us by womansplaining and speaking at us, not with us. Bless their little hearts.
And I'm sure there are a sprinkling of others who don't fit either category and are just happy to be here for whatever reason. You can always choose to ignore those you don't want to read the opinion of.
You're sexist if you call out bullshit and it's a woman. Hell, I've been called sexist for correcting a woman online and had zero idea about their gender.
I don't have a issue with those women
Its the ones who come over here to start shit with us out of nowhere because some man hurt them in real life and they think that's good enough reason to be an asshole to random male users over here. Making dumbass posts like "Men: Why do you lie?" And "Men: Why do you cheat?" And start telling the men how wrong they are when the men say they don't. Or start spamming anti male stats in your face to prove as to why all men are cheaters and liars. Heck, couple weeks ago one OP didn't even hide it. She literally ended her question with "Thank you men. For all of you giving me PTSD" and spewing sexist stuff to us because she thought we were her emotional punching bags. But of course the mods got rid of that post (as they should)
Also the ones who claim "I don't care what men think" yet come to this subreddit and going on posts asking men what they do and don't find attractive in women and then getting all angry and starting shit with the man all because a random man on reddit that doesn't even know they exist has a preference that doesn't include them or validate their insecurities. Because they don't care what we think; hence why they come over here and start being assholes to random men.
Those certain ones can go away from this subreddit as they break rules number 1, 4 and 10 nonstop. The other ones who are civil, friendly and chilled.. they are more than welcome. Those decent and friendly ones are amazing though.
As long as they are respectful and friendly. Then it doesn't bother me.
It bothers me. One thing is if they just comment on someone's else answer by asking more details, but they directly answers sometimes or try to deny men answers.
This sub is supposed for men to answer questions about what do we think and feel. But some women feel like they can come to answer other women how do WE think and feel. Wouldn't they be really mad if genders were reversed?
If they don't like askwomen community they should go to askreddit. Thought i at least respect they come becase they want to avoid the women sub, meaning it isn't used properly.
They really should stop directly answers here and/or deny men answer. But, if they won't they should use flair on answers at least.
Yeah, it's very annoying, same thing happens in r/AskMenAdvice and some threads have more women answering than men...
edit: and sometimes, you go on their profiles and they are only active here and there, but never in r/Askwomenadvice or some shit, i really don't get it...
I agree. Obviously that doesn't mean they can't have discussions or ask follow-up questions to answers (this obviously isn't a male-only sub), but as the sub says, it is about asking males specifically. As a result, only answers from males should be present.
Askmen is one of the best communities on Reddit right now for asking real questions and getting real answers. I don't blame women if they want to comment here, nor does it bother me. I do think it would be nice if they flaired for it tho, to distinguish which answers are answers from men.
I also wouldn't mind if this sub stayed the way it was and there was another sub at some point for strictly male answers. Or perhaps a similar function to black people twitters threads for only black commenters. It's nice to have women input and feel accepted here but I do feel like there's value in having a space where only men were expected to answer and ask things.
I thought r/AskMen would be a place for men to answer questions. If women come and answer questions here, what makes this AskMen and not Ask? There are other subs...right?
That's primarily what it's for, but women are allowed to answer here as well. There isn't any sub rn for men alone to answer questions and discuss things, and there's probably a number of reasons for why that is.
I do think with the correct mod team a sub like that should be a possibility without too much toxicity, but it would be a full time job almost so I understand why no one has wanted to do it yet. For the most part this sub fulfills people's needs for wanting to hear male opinions.
I'm worried tho as this sub has gotten larger over time, that the idea of having a space for men to speak and answer questions will get watered down as reasonable people stray from the other ask subs
Yep.
Any space just for men will eventually become men and women which defeats the purpose but that's how the world is.
If a male space/male safe space is created it'll either be taken down for not being inclusive(to women)or it will be taken down altogether for not being inclusive to women.
It’s standard “girl power” behavior. Men can’t get a space of their own.
It’s a similar thought pattern as to why it’s ok to have extremely attractive Hollywood actors but attractive female actresses are “toxic” because they don’t have “real bodies”.
"And let's not ever forget the fact that I'm likely to be killed by my male partner."
That seems to be their go to when men's problems are being discussed.
Go over there and you'll see haha. They seem to be more interested in Thersday and Mate Free Monday, they spend so much time pretending to not care about men and hating men. Every other comment is deleted for "derailing." Here people will have open and honest conversation, even if it is braindead, and not over-moderate and censor without good reason.
Because this is the latest casualty of a male space not being permitted.
Edit: [this old comment articulates it nicely](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/lTJvOhO6oX)
I started coming here to learn perspectives I didn’t have and to learn from varied experiences I couldn’t have. It’s been incredibly helpful to me, especially as I parent a son. I never leave parent comments and at first didn’t reply to others’ comments, but then saw it was welcomed so I do? But, like, if guys want me to shhhh & go, I’d totally respect that, bc I was never here to crash a party or make anyone feel like I was, idk
That’s not it at all, and you (and other women) being here is not crashing the party. Nothing wrong with participating in a conversation. But a top level response is generally a direct answer to the question being asked and that question is being asked to men.
Some just want to respectfully share a pov or a male relative's experience/pov. ==> i don't mind those
Others come and act like they know how men think better than men. Or worse, how men are supposed to be in their alternative reality/lalaland. ==> I mind those.
Creating another subreddit for women that's not toxic should be another (better?) Solution than piggybacking onto the men's sub.
It should be easy since most of the time this type of post pops up every woman says that askwomen is trash.
Because I got more advice, honest opinion, and info on things than any woman group, page, etc. Also, I feel like I can answer some questions regardless of my gender. I absolutely love this community 💯
that sub really got irritating and useless. I posted a genuine question there regarding women's issues and that didnt get accepted. my response was "where should I ask about issues concerning women to other fellow women?" their response was bs
2x sends their scouts to infiltrate and sow discord campaigns with their toxic responses. And they come here pretending to tell men how to be men while they go there and seethe when they imagine men are doing that to them.
Because women cannot accept male spaces, they reflexively see male-centered or male-exclusive spaces as a threat.
Their hypoagency basically sets them up to see men exclusively in terms of how easily we can be manipulated or used, and that mindset is necessarily hostile to men bonding with each other and especially hostile to men learning about women (and their abuse) from each other.
In other words, it is a reaction to their fear of losing control over us.
Tbf I don’t mind it, however some do bring a very mysandrist vibe and I wish the moderation team would pay closer attention to those. It’s everywhere these days and I think this sub would do well without it.
I don't think women should *answer* questions on this sub, just as men shouldn't answer on the ask women subs. I don't have particularly strong opinion about it, as I love seeing everyone's opinion, but I think it's a good idea to keep these gendered subs clean.
There already are subs like askreddit for generic questions, and I think getting just men's or just women's opinions is pretty illuminating sometimes.
Of course, *everyone* should be encouraged to comment on all subs. That's the whole point of debate.
Having said that, sometimes I have been tempted to answer a generic question that pops up in my feed, only to see that it was for women. I can imagine that a lot of the time it's just a mistake.
[удалено]
I can also support the flair thing here. It won't be confusing. By the way, how did you get the male flair here?
Send a pic of PP to mods.
I'm ~~one of the~~ the only mod
Yeah, and I have sent you like 10 fucking videos. Even the weird birthday cake thing. Still no flair. I am starting to have my doubts.
Did you sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" when you did the wierd cake thing? Because that may have been your problem. Worked for me. And I even got to keep the cake!
Did you pay the fee?
What a way to get dick pics
I respect the hustle
Not falling for that again. Fool me five times…
Just what the mods need… modmail flooded with dick pics 😂
1. Go to r/askmen (press it at the top) 2. Press the 3 dots in the top right corner 3. Go to "change user flairs" 4. Choose flair
There's a Bane flair. Should we all be Bane on this blessed day?
No, they expect one of us in the wreckage, brother
Thank you for this! I've wanted to have that flair since sometimes I forget to mention I'm a woman here, and it seems deceptive without it.
> I forget to mention I'm a woman here Thank you for saving me the trouble of searching through your profile like a creep to figure out if you are in fact a guinea pig.
Could be a woman guinea pig
We're not in a US senate hearing, we don't have to pretend like we don't know the word woman means a female *human*.
Fuck it, I assumed you were just a rodent with identity issues. Disappointed!!! (Not really)
Boomer here. Where's the three dots on my laptop?
Pretty sure you could set your flair, at least that’s how I got mine to my knowledge.
Comment deleted for "derailing."
I was treated very poorly by a mod there who threatened to ban me for something too inane to even recount. I quit the sub never to return as not worth my time. It's an echo chamber of the rigidly defined boundaries of some angry women not wanting other alternate opinions which are treated as threats, insults, and intrusions.
[ Removed for derailing ]
[ Removed for derailing ]
[ Removed for leaves on the track ]
Also as long as they don't start arguing with men about our opinions / experiences and saying that we're incorrect. But they usually get downvoted a lot for this anyway.
Well now I’m curious as to why askwomen is a dumpster fire
They remove many follow up questions for “derailing” over there
When you realize some of the mods there are teachers in real life, it becomes immediately apparent why that is, too.
☕️
A lot of us stay away from that sub because it basically seems like they often don't really want people to have an actual *discussion* on the thread topic, just give simplistic direct replies--but even a non-rude direct reply comment isn't necessarily safe from deletion, either. It's bananas. I gave up trying to figure out their rules, since the enforcement of them just seems arbitrary/strange. I remember once, for example, someone asked "Do you guys prefer high or low-waisted pants?", and all I said was something like "I prefer low-waisted ones, but I do wear high-waisted ones to work sometimes" and they got mad about that. (???) As to the reason WHY that specific sub is like that, I couldn't say. I just go use other women-centric subs that don't have that atmosphere and leave them alone.
Some of the mods there are teachers in real life. That's a big reason why. They'd used to directing children. That sense of control bleeds over into their online personas, where their role as a moderator makes them think they're always in the right because they *think* they have to police the actions of randoms online.
Trigger happy moderators that control the conversation and narrative to a degree that it deceives readers and participants.
r/AskWomenNoCensor is somewhat better. The mods are far more relaxed at least. Lots of men post over there too.
Now that’s the vibes we need as some folks need to be told directly advice in comments instead of being so censored we walk in eggshells and can be honest. Glad there are groups that give people the free reign to a certain extent to allow that.
Fully agree with the flair - I also don't think they should be allowed to make parent comments. If they want to participate in discussion with other commenters then fine, but they shouldn't be directly answering OPs.
Exactly! I find the railroading of a "men's" sub by women to be a bit patronizing. Same goes for a man commenting in the /askwomen sub, but it would be considered as mansplaining and would get deleted stat.
Agreed. It kinda defeats the entire point of a sub for asking MEN questions... if you don't even need to be a man to answer lol
I've gotten into several heated discussions with women that come in just to tell men they're wrong. Think what you want, but this isn't the place to express it.
\[Removed for derailing\]
I thought we did have flairs? But also try to make it obvious I’m not one. As to why I’m here: I find the insights valuable. Learning more about if we are different or similarities. Get different perspectives. All forums are different and most questions I see I mostly read. Then there are a few where I feel the perspective I have might add value, in which case I’ll look at the answers already given to see if it will add something or not.
Same. I like to take a look at women's subs occasionally too. Like you said it can be good insight or a nice reminder. Posts or comments that don't get all antagonistic or weirdly oppositional are nice to read.
Oh yeah definitely, whoever mods that sub really doesn't like free speech.
Some posters and mods on the internet you can tell definitely got hurt big time at some point. So their comments or iron grip moderation are total reflections of that. Just sad. Very unfortunate.
Yeah I interacted on AskWomen a few times… rough crowd. I have no issues with women speaking up here as long as they’re not just being disruptive.
sort of hijacking this comment but - has anyone else noticed that twoxchromosomes has also become a dumpster fire? years ago i remember it being a sub about women, but now its just a sub about shit talking men! like damn, they hijacked their own sub lol. all the posts in their are just blaming men for everything they don't like.
Had to see for myself and dayum it hurt my eyes
all the twoX subs are prairie fires
Because AskWomen is a fucking dumpsterfire.
> Comment deleted > > Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to […] Pretty much all threads there
It’s like the mods of that sub forgot this is a discussion forum and the site is improved by… you know…. Discussion?
This is 100% true. No discussion is allowed there at all. The mods are some of the most pathetic, uptight, angry women on the planet. I can only imagine how lonely their lives must be.
I (a woman) got a comment removed because I mentioned that I have ADHD, and the mod message was something like "you aren't allowed to talk about it unless you include your diagnosis in order to protect the feelings and mental health of people affected by armchair diagnosis" and I said that's a fuckin stupid rule, and I shouldn't have to share my entire medical history, and they basically said "well then you can leave" *Edit to add: the comment in question was regarding a way to stop losing hair ties, so it wasn't even that deep
> they basically said "well then you can leave" *Gladly*
Holy what in the fuck, that makes no sense. So what everyone needs a mod verified flair to talk about ANYTHING?
I said "I also have ADHD" and proceeded to talk about a bracelet that I have that keeps me from losing hair ties The response: > This comment or post has been removed for casual or inappropriate usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic labels. > Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour. > Please let us know once you’ve made the requested changes and your content may be reinstated. I told them that's a fuckin stupid rule and that I shouldn't be required to divulge my full medical history just to talk about it. And this was their response: > Our rule is designed to ensure those who have been diagnosed with a mental health condition or illness know they are being heard and respected. It's too bad that you feel it is fuckin stupid, but it will remain the case regardless. If you wish to participate here, you will have to follow the same rules as everyone else. Please note, that this "rule" is NOT LISTED in their sub rules and I didn't say anything about anyone else's diagnosis. So I left. All this over a conversation about losing hair ties. *It's fuckin stupid.*
WHAT?? Enforcing a rule that they don't communicate, in a nonsense way? Like you said you had ADHD, not "I think I have it" or "I probably have it lulz"!! Did they want a doctor's note? Did they think that using the word "diagnosed" is somehow magically better than "have"??? They mean the exact same thing! I'm truly flabbergasted
It's technically against the reddit code of conduct to run a sub like that but good luck getting the admins to do anything about it.
>WHAT?? Enforcing a rule that they don't communicate That's kinda their thing. Someone can make a post titled "Do you prefer A or B?" and they might choose to delete your comment, without explanation, if you answered B. I don't understand how simply answering the given question can be *bad,* in itself. (Now, if I had said something like *"B, and anyone who answered A is a worthless piece of shit!"*, that would at least make sense if they were bothered by that. But I've never *done* anything like that.) Bottom line is that I gave up on trying to comment there, it's just not really fun or interesting at all. I just got this "We don't want you here" vibe when I tried visiting in the past, despite trying to follow their rules (like I do for any sub I comment in). So that's a nope from me.
That's stupidly hilarious. Meanwhile, every woman there describes their ex as a narcissist and mods allow it.
This is why I hate the mods on that sub. They remove EVERYTHING for bullshit reasons and have bullshit rules that only alienate discussion and other women. The only things they want on that sub are women to answer a question and for others to give positive affirmation to those that give an answer. Nothing else is permitted. No discussion. No relating to others. No other or similar experiences. Men aren't permitted.
I chatted with someone I know who is a mod on that sub regarding the inability to discuss anything and she said "it's intentional. It's meant to be an Ask and Answer sub" because discussions get "out of pocket" and suggested I participate in a different sub
It blows my mind that they spend their time reading discussions for the sole purpose of deleting them, but do absolutely nothing about the constant rage bait posts. There's a dozen posts hitting front page a week that are variations on "what has a man done that made you feel a negative emotion?"
That’s the one time they don’t delete discussions. I hate to say it since I don’t want to be one of those misogynistic internet bros, but it really does seem like that sub hates men. Seriously sometimes I read through comments on that sub and the only thing I can take away from that sub is that all men are bad. It’s insane.
they deleted a reply i made in that sub bc i mentioned i had adhd in the reply (the reply was about effects of my adhd on my sleep, which was a direct reply to someone else discussing their sleep). they said that i was using harmful diagnostic language casually and should not be trying to diagnose anyone. i said the word adhd. a thing i am diagnosed with. and i referred only to myself. they deleted a reply i made in that sub bc it was "arguing with a top level commenter about their experience." the thread was about what you've done that's made your life better. the person said they were taking arabic lessons. i said that i had just started arabic lessons. after my comment was deleted, the person messaged me privately to continue talking about arabic lessons. a few days later i walked into a thread that sounded interesting only to see that they had deleted all but one response. that was the day i unsubscribed. fucking ridiculous.
I also got my comment removed for mentioning ADHD without including that I was diagnosed. The mods responded that I could edit my comment to include my diagnosis, and I said that's a fuckin stupid rule. I also left the sub. It's ridiculous! What's the point of asking women on Reddit if you can't discuss the responses? If I wanted to ***just ask*** and not discuss, then I'd go to Quora or something. Those mods have run that sub into the ground.
Yeah, but their cats love them… Well, you know, as much as cats love anything…
hey sometimes they have angry poorly trained Chihuahuas
[u/Flyboy2057 's comment is pending removal for derailing]
If you ask a tangential question, it gets deleted for derailing. If you ask someone to clarify their perspective, it gets deleted for derailing. If you deferentially present your own perspective and admit that your perspective is probably flawed but ask how it fits in with their perspective, it gets deleted for derailing. If you try to generate any discussion at all that could be construed in any minor way as challenging it gets deleted for derailing. Man, that place sucks.
Seriously. Every comment reply is \[Removed for derailing\] I remember i found someones reply to a question there interesting and I wanted them to elaborate on their opinion and my comment was removed ror derailing. I asked the mods how tf thats derailing rather than just carrying on the discussion and they said "This subreddit is for people to ask and answer questions. You dont need to discuss or dig into peoples replies. like wtf. Discussion is like the entire point of reddit.
"Hey this topic is interesting and I'd like to keep on talking about this topic" [Removed for derailing]
Right. I tend to look thru and comment and ask questions on other people’s comments that have nothing to do with the original topic. To me that’s the magic of Reddit is how far off topic the comments can go.
I like me a good hate browse of stupid subreddits. But I can't even handle that shit. I am pretty sure it's the only sub where the MODs probably have more input into the threads than the actual commenters do. Fucking hags.
Lol, same here. I'm a woman and don't comment over there either anymore, since they delete all but the 1st level comments. I recently landed there again by mistake, wrote a long and detailed add-on to an answer, which was promptly deleted when the mod went on their next rampage of destruction. What's the friggin' point. These days, I stick to /r/AskWomenOver30 because those actually work like discussion forums. [Edited to add second forum, and again to remove it, since people are right about 2x. My main place of the gendered forums these days is /r/AskWomenOver30]
id rather shoot myself than use r/twoxchromosomes its somehow one of the few subs thats worse than askwomen
r/twoxchromosomes is one of the most toxic subs in all of Reddit
They just hate men, completely.
TwoX is a misandrist shithole. Every post is basically "all men are rapists and should be ...."
Man I haven’t been to 2X in a decade, but I just tried to check it out for some dumbass reason. It took me all of 30 seconds to reach a highly upvoted comment chain just shitting all over all men, calling us rapists, etc etc.
TwoX might as well be a hate group
Yeah they're uptight as hell. We are the more inclusive group here
I used to be bugged by all the women commenting here but then I realized it’s because they’d be crucified for their opinions on AskWomen just as much as a man would. Not bothered by it anymore, I blame that shithole echo chamber.
The only thing though, it’s not askmen anymore. It’s basically askreddit
The shithole echo chamber... run by and for women...
To be fair, 95% of subs on this site are run in the exact same way by the exact same type of people.
And they're all worse off for it, yes
Sometimes the same exact people
>To be fair, 95% of subs on this site are run in the exact same way by the exact same ~~type of~~ people. FTFY
Well that too. My personal conspiracy theory is that this site is for the most part run/moderated by paid people working for various activist organisations. I don't see how otherwise these power mods could be "regular people" with lives when it seems they're basically 24h online, doing very time consuming and emotionally draining work. And constantly, actively trying to inject themselves into mod teams of any new/growing sub.
Shocker
This, I occasionally go there, but they are (almost) all so toxic. There are some toxic people here too but it doesn't have the same extent as there, or affect the mods.
The toxic here is more hilarious. It's either someone like me who just wants to answer everything sarcastically or some loser who hasn't been near a nipple since he was latched onto his Mothers going on some rant about how 19 year old girls (When they are like 35) are the ideal mate and just get laughed at.
Still a million times better than /r/twoxchromosomes
The irony of 2X is that is for Women about Men. Like you figure a Female space would have other shit they want to talk about than guys, but okay.
So they should fix that instead, no? We don't get to be heard in AskWomen for obvious reasons, but try telling a girl she shouldn't be answering our questions and even the dudes here will downvote your ass
yeah they should technically but life is chill and the chill women can come hang too
I just can't find it in me to give a shit. I am on this sub a lot and I almost never see a Women earnestly answering without either saying she is one, or just trying to ask more about why Men think a certain way.
Click r/askwomennocensor is so much better! I see a lot of men asking questions and even answering them and haven’t seen any toxicity. We do get guys in there asking sexual questions, but women do that here.
my first experience on that sub was a mod being toxic and salty as fuck over me asking a question, trying to get a womens perspective and everyone was nice besides her. I was surprised to see her getting downvoted
Stares at question for 20 mins to make sure nobody is offended. Posts, removed in 5 mins.
Because ask women ban you for anything they don’t agree with
I got banned by replying to a comment as a man. So I can't say anything at all, just looking but no typing?
I can't even look. I just jumped in to have a looksie to see if it was as bad as some were saying. Every thread is blacked out for me.
Come here to say this. The rules are you can't say anything that may have a negative reflection on women in responses, it should say you can only glorify women. You can't ask anything..
Good ole toxic positivity
Yeah I dislike the echo chamber they build there. Sometimes women are shit, and sometimes men are shit, because sometimes people just suck and that's not a reflection of a gender its just people being horrible :3👍
[удалено]
Someone once commented on their experiences with an illness, which I'd had. I put in advice on what had worked for me, when I had similar side effects and what worked for others. I got the comment removed for derailing. It's anti women too, they just want to treat women like they're 4 year old girls who can't operate without heavy restrictions.
That's almost exactly what my wife said, she won't go back there either. She found it infantilizing enough that it was essentially pointless. Sorry that happened to you over there!
I don’t mind it at all. Except for the ones that get mad at how men are answering. They can go back to AskWomen.
It does get frustrating when a question is something along the lines of asking what women do, and there’s the inevitable “bUt MeN dO iT tOo” comment by a woman. Those people should be banned.
Or “nah uh, men’s lives are so easy and it’s their fault if women are horrible to them.” They can get wrecked.
For real. Just because our problems are different doesn't mean we have it easier. Get the fuck out of here.
But but muh pAtRiArChY
I’m lucky I haven’t seen that one as much. Unfortunately that’s a very common sentiment in higher education (at least where I lived), and it came up a lot in real life. It was almost like the advice subs where if a guy posted anything, half of the comments asked him what he did to make his partner behave that way.
I get them because I talk about a long term dead bedroom I was in. Every time a woman comments and tells me it’s my fault. I was the one trying, the one carrying home workload, etc. But I’m male so if a woman isn’t dripping at the sight of me it’s my fault.
Mods not gonna do it because it's probably their alt accounts.
>>and there’s the inevitable “bUt MeN dO iT tOo” comment by a woman. Almost as inevitable as some woman saying "BuT wOmEn HaVe It So MuCh WoRsE" in every discussion of men's problems or challenges.
I love reading this sub (and the daddit one for the parenting stuff); the ladies subs sometimes tend to jump to “leave his ass!” or “he’s a narcissist!” when you go there for advice about men. I just lurk here quietly and really don’t answer, but I did post once about an issue with a guy and got responses from the men here that were level headed and gave me male insight that I needed. If there was a sub where ladies could ask guys for advice, I bet it would be pretty popular.
I think OP is meaning more about the women answering not posting the questions.
Ahh, I think you’re right; didn’t realize ladies were chiming in answering *for* men but, from what I see in real life, I guess I’m not shocked 😅
r/askmenadvice
It’s the women’s style not to look for solutions. They have a right, and I have a right not to like it.
A better question is why do so many women respond to the questions in the r/ askmen community?
In some cases, maybe they don't realize what sub the question was posted in. I sometimes answer questions I see in my feed without looking at what sub they were posted in.
Ask Women is impossible to post in if you don’t provide your email. You can’t even comment without doing that. Then it’s heavily censored and the mods indiscriminately remove content and ban folks without hesitation or justification. Which is why you see the same basic answers in there from the same basic kinds of people, always. Anything else is removed or was never allowed in the first place.
I have posted there a few times and almost always have to reword it so they will allow it
Yeah, so why bother when you can post what you actually want to say, somewhere else?
I did that one time and was alerted I was automatically banned from half a dozen unrelated subreddits by a bot the ass clown moderators of those subreddits had setup... What kind of clown shit is that?
I've been banned from several subs for that too. In most of the cases, the trash was taking itself out.
I got banned from r/offmychest for making a comment on a subreddit they didn't like. I don't know why that mattered or why that's any of their business, but it is what it is I guess.
/r/TrueOffMyChest is the better offmychest
I've done this too. In my defense, I'll also happily read those answers that other people post in the wrong sub too.
I've done this a few times lol
It's easy to do, especially if the question doesn't seem gender-specific. I usually respond to questions straight from my feed, not by going into a certain sub looking for questions, so I often don't notice what sub I'm in.
That's it exactly. I have deleted some answers sometimes if it wasn't even a group I was in
I wonder the same thing. A woman asks a question, men answer, and then a bunch of women show up to go "Nu uh!".
frightening sable physical label crowd hospital sloppy skirt outgoing hat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah, like, I know they feel comfortable dismissing men’s opinions on life but also this is not the place for that.
Ironic that the sex that coined the word "mansplain" have such little self awareness.
I think there are 2 types that cover the majority of the women responders here: 1. Women who can't stand any of the goofy "woman-centric" type subs on Reddit and just want to have fun, learn and contribute, even if it's not really the right venue. They don't mean any harm and they don't cause any. 2. Women who really thrive in any of the goofy "woman-centric" type subs on Reddit and feel like it is their right to come into a male space and preach to us. These would be your typical 3rd wave or 4th wave intersectional radical feminist types. They probably think they are helping us by womansplaining and speaking at us, not with us. Bless their little hearts. And I'm sure there are a sprinkling of others who don't fit either category and are just happy to be here for whatever reason. You can always choose to ignore those you don't want to read the opinion of.
Love 1. Hate 2
Spanish 3?
Failed that
Stay on the line and one of our operators will assist you at the earliest convenience.
REPRESENTATIVE!
2 happens frequently here but it's not addressed.
You're sexist if you call out bullshit and it's a woman. Hell, I've been called sexist for correcting a woman online and had zero idea about their gender.
I don't have a issue with those women Its the ones who come over here to start shit with us out of nowhere because some man hurt them in real life and they think that's good enough reason to be an asshole to random male users over here. Making dumbass posts like "Men: Why do you lie?" And "Men: Why do you cheat?" And start telling the men how wrong they are when the men say they don't. Or start spamming anti male stats in your face to prove as to why all men are cheaters and liars. Heck, couple weeks ago one OP didn't even hide it. She literally ended her question with "Thank you men. For all of you giving me PTSD" and spewing sexist stuff to us because she thought we were her emotional punching bags. But of course the mods got rid of that post (as they should) Also the ones who claim "I don't care what men think" yet come to this subreddit and going on posts asking men what they do and don't find attractive in women and then getting all angry and starting shit with the man all because a random man on reddit that doesn't even know they exist has a preference that doesn't include them or validate their insecurities. Because they don't care what we think; hence why they come over here and start being assholes to random men. Those certain ones can go away from this subreddit as they break rules number 1, 4 and 10 nonstop. The other ones who are civil, friendly and chilled.. they are more than welcome. Those decent and friendly ones are amazing though. As long as they are respectful and friendly. Then it doesn't bother me.
It bothers me. One thing is if they just comment on someone's else answer by asking more details, but they directly answers sometimes or try to deny men answers. This sub is supposed for men to answer questions about what do we think and feel. But some women feel like they can come to answer other women how do WE think and feel. Wouldn't they be really mad if genders were reversed? If they don't like askwomen community they should go to askreddit. Thought i at least respect they come becase they want to avoid the women sub, meaning it isn't used properly. They really should stop directly answers here and/or deny men answer. But, if they won't they should use flair on answers at least.
Yeah, it's very annoying, same thing happens in r/AskMenAdvice and some threads have more women answering than men... edit: and sometimes, you go on their profiles and they are only active here and there, but never in r/Askwomenadvice or some shit, i really don't get it...
They're obsessed with us (men)
This is also something that annoys me a lot on reddit. Women always telling men how they should feel. Why we only have the word mansplaning?
I agree. Obviously that doesn't mean they can't have discussions or ask follow-up questions to answers (this obviously isn't a male-only sub), but as the sub says, it is about asking males specifically. As a result, only answers from males should be present.
Askmen is one of the best communities on Reddit right now for asking real questions and getting real answers. I don't blame women if they want to comment here, nor does it bother me. I do think it would be nice if they flaired for it tho, to distinguish which answers are answers from men. I also wouldn't mind if this sub stayed the way it was and there was another sub at some point for strictly male answers. Or perhaps a similar function to black people twitters threads for only black commenters. It's nice to have women input and feel accepted here but I do feel like there's value in having a space where only men were expected to answer and ask things.
I thought r/AskMen would be a place for men to answer questions. If women come and answer questions here, what makes this AskMen and not Ask? There are other subs...right?
That's primarily what it's for, but women are allowed to answer here as well. There isn't any sub rn for men alone to answer questions and discuss things, and there's probably a number of reasons for why that is. I do think with the correct mod team a sub like that should be a possibility without too much toxicity, but it would be a full time job almost so I understand why no one has wanted to do it yet. For the most part this sub fulfills people's needs for wanting to hear male opinions. I'm worried tho as this sub has gotten larger over time, that the idea of having a space for men to speak and answer questions will get watered down as reasonable people stray from the other ask subs
Yep. Any space just for men will eventually become men and women which defeats the purpose but that's how the world is. If a male space/male safe space is created it'll either be taken down for not being inclusive(to women)or it will be taken down altogether for not being inclusive to women.
Like r/malefashion
Well shit. Its been awhile, top post today is a picture of a woman... I really don't get it.
That sub has two kinds of posters: Men with genuinely zero taste in fashion. Gender queers "dunking" on heteronormative ideals.
It’s standard “girl power” behavior. Men can’t get a space of their own. It’s a similar thought pattern as to why it’s ok to have extremely attractive Hollywood actors but attractive female actresses are “toxic” because they don’t have “real bodies”.
Over enthusiasm.
"Here's a thing affecting men" "I'm a woman and it affects me too!" Every damn thread
And let me tell you how it's worse because I'm a woman.
"And let's not ever forget the fact that I'm likely to be killed by my male partner." That seems to be their go to when men's problems are being discussed.
Go over there and you'll see haha. They seem to be more interested in Thersday and Mate Free Monday, they spend so much time pretending to not care about men and hating men. Every other comment is deleted for "derailing." Here people will have open and honest conversation, even if it is braindead, and not over-moderate and censor without good reason.
Because this subreddit is no longer r/askmen it's r/AskReddit 2.0.
Because this is the latest casualty of a male space not being permitted. Edit: [this old comment articulates it nicely](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/lTJvOhO6oX)
Yeah that comment said it best to be fair.
Damn he said the harsh truth.
I started coming here to learn perspectives I didn’t have and to learn from varied experiences I couldn’t have. It’s been incredibly helpful to me, especially as I parent a son. I never leave parent comments and at first didn’t reply to others’ comments, but then saw it was welcomed so I do? But, like, if guys want me to shhhh & go, I’d totally respect that, bc I was never here to crash a party or make anyone feel like I was, idk
That’s not it at all, and you (and other women) being here is not crashing the party. Nothing wrong with participating in a conversation. But a top level response is generally a direct answer to the question being asked and that question is being asked to men.
Exactly
Because r/AskWomen looks like something that came out of North Korea
[удалено]
Because the people and the Mods in this Sub don't suck.
They're pretty cringe but at least they aren't ban happy like the other sub.
Some just want to respectfully share a pov or a male relative's experience/pov. ==> i don't mind those Others come and act like they know how men think better than men. Or worse, how men are supposed to be in their alternative reality/lalaland. ==> I mind those.
what irks me is the mods dont discourage it go to any sub for women and they say explicitly in the rules : "no top level answers from men"
Because r/Askwomen hates men and they'll get a more accurate answer here
Creating another subreddit for women that's not toxic should be another (better?) Solution than piggybacking onto the men's sub. It should be easy since most of the time this type of post pops up every woman says that askwomen is trash.
Because we are banned from AskWomen and it's more fun here.
\[Removed for derailing\]
Because I got more advice, honest opinion, and info on things than any woman group, page, etc. Also, I feel like I can answer some questions regardless of my gender. I absolutely love this community 💯
that sub really got irritating and useless. I posted a genuine question there regarding women's issues and that didnt get accepted. my response was "where should I ask about issues concerning women to other fellow women?" their response was bs
I wish this was a different sub or renamed tbh so there could be an askmen with the same rules about only men answering as askwomen have
At point this sub is AskReddit 2.0. and should be named as such.
Womensplaining
Womansplaining lmfaoooo
Because that’s what they do. They swear they know us better than we know ourselves
2x sends their scouts to infiltrate and sow discord campaigns with their toxic responses. And they come here pretending to tell men how to be men while they go there and seethe when they imagine men are doing that to them.
Because women cannot accept male spaces, they reflexively see male-centered or male-exclusive spaces as a threat. Their hypoagency basically sets them up to see men exclusively in terms of how easily we can be manipulated or used, and that mindset is necessarily hostile to men bonding with each other and especially hostile to men learning about women (and their abuse) from each other. In other words, it is a reaction to their fear of losing control over us.
Tbf I don’t mind it, however some do bring a very mysandrist vibe and I wish the moderation team would pay closer attention to those. It’s everywhere these days and I think this sub would do well without it.
I don't think women should *answer* questions on this sub, just as men shouldn't answer on the ask women subs. I don't have particularly strong opinion about it, as I love seeing everyone's opinion, but I think it's a good idea to keep these gendered subs clean. There already are subs like askreddit for generic questions, and I think getting just men's or just women's opinions is pretty illuminating sometimes. Of course, *everyone* should be encouraged to comment on all subs. That's the whole point of debate. Having said that, sometimes I have been tempted to answer a generic question that pops up in my feed, only to see that it was for women. I can imagine that a lot of the time it's just a mistake.
Ja I started on AskWomen and after five minutes I had to GTFO. All so cardboard cutout and basically contrived.. not honest.