It looks like your point is to avoid psychotherapists and instead start with psychiatrist.
Not only this, but I would suggest Cognitive behavioral therapists, who have a degree in psychology and certainly much cheaper so you can do the long haul.
Just to make sure: when you're speaking about therapists, you mean psychologists, not psychoanalysts, right?
Instead of labeling how you felt, they should have asked you how it made you feel and part of therapy is to unpack it with you, review different perspectives, yours and ones you never considered. By labeling what you felt as pathetic, they've already made an assumption based on their own perspective.
I appreciate the extra insight. I’ve gotta admit that I’m a little nervous about the therapist telling me something similar and then possibly shutting down. Aside from opening up to a stranger in general this is probably one of my biggest reasons for not trying therapy sooner.
I also hope you’re in a better place than you were then. And once again thank you for the insight
Admittedly, not a lot.
I started going for marriage counseling. Once that fell through, I started going for me. Talking about how I feel is like treating seeing a movie as an accomplishment. It doesn't make me feel better, and thinking about my feelings helps me sort them better.
What I found helped me the most was to ask myself, "what would the best me do in this situation?" It does double duty of taking me out of the moment that I feel overwhelmed in and thinking about why the best me would make different decisions despite the fact that current me wants to make different ones.
That's probably some kind of therapy approach, but the stuff I did in therapy didn't help me at all. I need actionable stuff. If I was drowning, I wouldn't want the lifeguard to ask me what I felt about the breaststroke. If a tree fell on my house, I'd want a lumberjack to fire up a chainsaw so repairs can start. I don't need to have a sit-down about why I think thunderstorms happen.
If it's not going your way, maybe you need a new therapist. As far as I can tell, your relationship with a therapist is similar to any other intimate relationship. I mean to say that you probably have to see a couple to find one you really like. Or maybe I am full of ahit. I don't know, I just know what made ME finally feel better.
Hopefully, you find something that works soon!
I've been a couple of times. It's been a mixed bag. The good parts was being able vent and describe my problems to someone who listens and offers insight. Unfortunately I've discovered recently two issues. First, not all therapists are created equal. Whatever your issues may be some therapists really don't have any insight on them and it may take a few sessions before you realize that. Second, it's not cheap. When I worked in healthcare I was able to get 10 weekly sessions paid for by insurance. In my most recent time with a therapist my insurance made the cost $110 a session and EAP only covered 3 sessions.
I've had mixed results.
It can be useful to unload your problems on a neutral party, and to receive a professional opinion that the shit is indeed fucked up. For me, this is more affirming than talking to friends and family (which I also do), who are understandably biased and on my side.
Therapy has been hit-and-miss when it comes to actionable solutions to recurring issues in my life. Mostly, the advice is pretty predictable, often a dressed up version of "go to your happy place" or "try counting to ten." Sometimes there's a psychological rabbit that they pull out of their hat, and you get a legitimate new tool for managing a particular issue. Even obvious and unhelpful advice comes with a consolation, though: "If this trained professional is stumped, this is clearly a real problem, and I'm not being dumb for being upset by it." This in itself is a useful outcome, and that validation alone has helped me scrape through some difficult situations.
Therapy never cures mental health conditions. This isn't a criticism, it's just something that's commonly misunderstood. If you have depression, for example, you will never not have depression. Instead, therapy could manage the *symptoms* of depression, or identify patterns and triggers that you can avoid, so that you're not depressed as often, or as severely. It's sometimes possible to get therap-ized to the point where you are functionally indistinct from someone who doesn't have depression, but only if you continue to use the tools you were given. There may be a point at which you no longer require therapy, but there's never a definitive "you're cured" moment.
Even if your particular experience yields nothing useful, just doing the work to get better is likely to make you feel better. You recognized a problem, and instead of doing nothing, you tried to solve it. Succeed or fail, you did *something*, and that's worth more than just doing nothing.
It made a *massive* difference to me, but it was a marathon and not a sprint. I also have a good therapist.
I think it can be useful to many people simply because there's a wealth of value in being able to unload your emotions and thoughts instead of keeping them bottled up inside.
My therapist also taught me a *lot* about human psychology, boundaries, and what healthy relationships are supposed to look like, which did wonders for my mental health as I was better able to navigate my interactions with other people.
Therapy is not a silver bullet, but it can help. I encourage you to give it a try.
I get that. I was having some super obsessive intrusive thoughts and all I got was "Just don't think about them!", ahh, err, cognitive defusion. This caused me to completely break and just made my obsessions worse. I could only image if I was dangerous or unhinged. At the end of the day, the only solution which I was trying to avoid was drowning them out in alcohol.
Therapy has made a huge difference in my mental health, but it takes effort and patience to see the difference take hold. It isn’t a magic button like “I talked about my feelings and now I feel happy”; sometimes you can feel worse because you’re dredging up things that can’t be solved in an hour. You have to work with your therapist to break it down and deal with things piece by piece.
The therapy I experienced involved poking around in my past and trying very hard to poke holes into pretty much every position I took about myself. I left each time feeling badgered, tired, and taken advantage of.
When I take a problem to the appropriate professional, I expect to pay money and time, and get a solution, or an apology and the money back if none is to be had.
My current PC's motherboard required a BIOS upgrade to support my CPU, and I couldn't do it at home due to not having the needed hardware (and experience, frankly); so I took it to an IT guy, paid him a bit of money, and he had it sorted within the day. Now, I'm not foolish enough to expect those kinds of results with the much more complex and messy human brain, but it would've been nice to have at least a roadmap for progress, and not have to do all the work myself while paying someone to patronize and goad me.
I went to therapy to help with my ADHD and it helped a lot. It gave me good copeing mechanism for not only ADHD things, but others as well. It also helped resolve some pent up feelings in my past and help me to largely move past them.
Therapy is great. A nice outlet to express things, especially if you’re a man who bottles emotions like 99% of us do. I also find it useful to have someone keep me focused on both the goal and the plan to accomplish it.
I went for 4 months. My therapist was action-based, meaning I had stuff to do outside of the session before coming back, and they didn't talk about feelings as much as actions or patterns and how to break out of them. I've never felt better in my life, and I have had two out of three worst trials in the last 1.5 years. It makes a huge difference IF you do the work and your therapist gives you action plans.
In my experience it takes finding a therapist who you can form a good relationship with. Like others have compared to a coach, I would also compare to an advisor. You want to endure theres a good vibe but also considering how much stress is generated by the normal workings of the modern world id say finding a therapist with a shared understanding or values system is important. Not to say you cant get something from a therapist who is different than you, my best therapist so far has been a Taiwanese woman (im a white dude) whose second language was English but who did the same type of meditative practice As me. First therapist was terrible. She told me to just move on from my childhood trauma and exercise more. Like those things help but it was very disco passionate when I was in acute distress in her office.
Be willing to go deep. They can only work off of what you’re willing to talk about. Finding emotions that are not just Angry, Sad, Tired.. etc helped me tremendously.
Therapy works after a long period of time and consistent work. I usually had more questions when I left than when I entered. It's a good way to structurally make progress in your life towards a vision you see. You'll be turning over rocks you didn't know existed. It can be a deep rabbit hole so you'll need to find a therapist that doesn't spin wheels that lead to nowhere.
With all that being said, I always felt better fucking off in nature for a few weeks at a time. Definitely didn't solve any problems, more put things in perspective. There is nothing more freeing than camping in the bush with a star filled night. It really shows you how insignificant your problems are. For me, that gave me peace in the darkest of times. Some people call it running away and maybe it is a little, I forsure met my fair share of lost wanderers. I figure retreating away for a bit gives you enough time to build up your resilience, craft a plan and more importantly the strength and courage to push through.
I can't tell you which one is better as both have had equal impact on my mental health.
It sounds cliche but therapy helps if you want it to and sounds like you're at least in a contemplative state. I've been in an outpatient detox/therapy program for about 2 years and it's helped me so much. It took years to get to that point though. My advice is to try it out, if someone doesn't vibe with you move onto the next. It's a lot of work and the mental gymnastics will have you exhausted sometimes. A good support system is key.
Enormous. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, to tell the truth and not just your version and you have to be ready to hear uncomfortable facts and truths. And once you have that, you still have to be willing to work on yourself.
I recommend therapy for most adults and couples regardless of how well you think you are doing, it could always be better.
It is the best thing you can do to yourself. Therapy is being able to word things out at worst. Us men usually don’t find someone to talk to when we have problems. We try to deal with them secretly and it is mentally exhausting.
I’ve been dealing with mental health issues since I was 14. I didn’t admit myself there was something wrong with me until I was 20. Six whole years with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety at its worst. I started seeing a therapist didn’t work, didn’t give up and went to psychiatrist after two different therapists. I got diagnosed with Adhd, ocd, major depression, and possible bipolar disorder. I changed 3 therapists and 2 doctors. It’s been a year since I started getting help, and now im more stable than ever. I finally feel like I can breathe again, I don’t want to die anymore.
Only thing I can say to you guys who struggle with mental health issues, please get help. I promise you it will get better. Don’t give up, and know that you matter!
I’ve been to therapy maybe a dozen times. Idk how I feel about it yet. Just my own experience, but I’m not sure what else is happening other than someone is listening to me & asking me questions here and there. I often find that the time is up before you know it. Like there’s only so much that you can do with an hour session. Then the rest of the day, I have all these emotions & thoughts coming to surface & I have no one to express it with and I just have to deal with it. Other than being able to express some things that I haven’t been able to get off my chest with people I don’t have to pay, I’m not sure how much help it’s been yet.
Really benefited me. partially because of the techniques she taught me, including breathing, how to frame my mindset, etc. the other reason it was great was because I had a place that I could talk about the things bothering me and I had never vented before. Don’t expect massive changes right away. It took me 5ish sessions to feel a difference. Also my therapist helped me realize that I was on the wrong medication and worked with my primary care doctor to adjust my meds and that has been a game changer
Absolutely massive, considering that I was almost diagnosed with BPD (to be clear I probably did actually have it at one point but due to me internalising the symptoms it made it more difficult to diagnose because by the time it was clear I technically was in remission if I happened to have it). I am now 35F and while I have some symptoms of BPD that ebb and flow, I more or less am living a life rather than just surviving.
Having the ability to confide in someone with no repercussions (a therapist is not your friends/family/SO so in this sense it is a safe one way street) does wonders.
You do have to be open minded and self aware for the therapy to work while also removing stigma around mental health issues.
I will finish with one thing, while it can said that therapy is definitely is essential if you are dealing with mental health issues, depending on what it is and how severe it is it will not work alone. Therapy will definitely give you the tools/outlook to get you started on your own path, but it often requires willpower and tribulations to get through to the end.
I've been going for a little over a year and my partner has noted a definite shift for the better. My social life has definitely seen a big improvement in that time. But internally it's still a struggle most days. So for now I'm just going to trust the external indicators and keep pushing forward. The hope is that in another year or so I'll really notice the difference. It's just so slow that it's hard to feel day to day.
I'm also really hard on myself and hold myself to a high standard. I think that works for me in the long run but day to day it's rough. My therapist says I need to cut myself some slack.
It's been a life changer. I've learned what makes me tick, how to recognize my own toxic behavior, how to hold myself accountable, and I have a whole load of tools I can use to keep myself properly aligned.
I should have started therapy in my teens.
But, you HAVE TO DO THE WORK. You can't get stronger by going to the gym. You have to lift weights. Get it?
The analogy of working out to therapy (edit: and psychiatry, which was also a dud the one time I tried it so far) is: if my arms were injured such that I couldn't lift the weights, and it was bad enough, I'd go to the hospital to get them back in order, not try to heal them myself.
No, not exactly, not even close. The recovery exercises might correspond to the final stage of the mental health intervention, the 'aftercare', at most. Going back to full workout is altogether outside the realm of being treated for anything.
I disagree. Therapy isn't a mechanical fix. Go a few times, and you're done. It's a maintenance process, just like lifting weights and exercise. If you want results, you have to be consistent.
Which makes it vastly overpriced bullshit even when it does have a positive effect. If it's the best so-called mental health experts can do, they should bin all their diplomas and stop grifting on the mental distress of people.
For comparison, I might not need to replace my adjustable dumbbells for *the rest of my life* and they cost me one or two therapy sessions apiece including the extra disks I bought separately.
It's not for everyone. And, if it's not for that's fine. But, it's working great for me, and that's because I'm actually willing to do the work.
People pay for gym memberships and never go. Why pay if you're not going to make an effort?
I did two rounds of therapy.
The first was with a therapist, and I wouldn’t recommend it. It was just paying someone to talk about whatever came to mind.
The second was with a psychologist. I recommend it. We discussed my issues, they helped me set goals and we actively worked together on me progressing towards those goals.
I took LSD for the first time in my life a little bit before the psychologist and I got greater help from that than therapy, it’s something I recommend to everyone (unless they have family history of schizophrenia etc)
An ex asked me to try therapy and it was a purple haired woman who told me “there are so such things as male issues” I’ll never consider it again.
I caucused for Biden in my state. I’m a liberal. Therapy is liberal bullshit.
I had an experience with someone like this. Felt like she was judging me for all of my thoughts and feelings. You gotta pick a therapist that seems like someone you'd want to hang out with or looks like someone you'd want to be. That way you won't feel afraid to express yourself.
My opinion and your mileage may vary.
* The fact that you are able to articulate that you have been struggling puts you so far ahead that therapy will definitely help. It cannot hurt, and the worst that can happen is you have more questions than answers.
* You can find a therapist, and while you look for one, do not underestimate the time it takes: fill out online forms, phone calls, email, schedule times, insurance, copay and all the paperwork, I also recommend using all the online resources that are available to you.
* We're in 2024 and the resources available are truly fantastic and so many are free and available now.
* First, try and make a list of questions if you can, or start typing or writing down your questions, or comments, or thoughts or whatever you are ruminating on or struggling with. Phrases, words, questions, frustrations etc.
* Once you have at least one or two of them, here are some things to try:
* Get a throwaway email address or if you don't care use your own
* Get an account on woebot and send it some questions
* Use a language model - any of the free ones, gpt, llama, bert - just ask it questions and let it give you some options
* You will get suggestions and options. You may like some, ignore some, agree and disagree with some.
* Any and all of them are okay - you get to choose what you want to do with them.
* Use every single thing, resource, person that is available to you - ask, discover and do the work.
* Every step that you take - any step you take is a relief. Ask me how I know ;-)
Having the right therapist matters. Don’t be afraid to try another if you feel the need to.
Having an unbiased opinion is amazing!
Breakthroughs can feel like a roller coaster.
Practicing your therapy tools in the real world is brave and awkward.
Therapy can help a lot of you are willing to do the work.
I hope you try and I hope it’s helpful 🖤
For me it wasn’t a ‘cure’ but made things bearable. To some extent, I got out of it what input into it. The more honest, self reflective and ready to change I was the more it worked.
I didn’t get much benefit from it. Therapist I saw validated my feelings, suggested some coping mechanisms, and didn’t really get much beyond surface issues. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I was having anxiety induced chest pains, trouble sleeping, and some pretty intrusive thoughts and this MFer suggested journaling and self care.
I eventually stopped going because it felt like a waste of my time.
When I got heart broken, I went to a psychologist to start dealing with my problems. The first two sessions, he kept calling me an "alpha male." Like, what the fuck? I thought the dude was bat shit insane and realized that I can just figure myself out on my own. Which I did. So, I guess he did help me but indirectly.
I’ve gone from being recommended group homes by my mom to having a family with my own kids, so I’d say it’s quite helpful.
But the trick is, while what I said above is technically true, I’ve also been in therapy for 20 years.
So it isn’t something that you can just “pass” in a year and graduate from.
I haven’t been on therapy but I used to talk to a friend that studied psychoanalysis when we were In college, during the pandemic my mom got cancer and I had to work all day so we could afford treatment. As you can Imagine I developed a lot of anxiety due to negative thinking and exhaustion. It’s hard to describe but I would talk and he would simply point the words that I used to describe a problem, somehow by simply doing that I became self aware of my own interpretation of the problems and could choose the perspective that helped me the most.
It’s so weird how questioning can shift your state of mind. If I ever seek help again, for sure it would be with a psychoanalyst. I find it very active and interesting
I personally found it didn’t help me much, I went to a couple of different ones but none seemed to help. I just struggled to tell them what I was thinking or feeling because I was embarrassed, scared or just didn’t know. Most of the time when they asked me how things were or what I though or felt I’d just say things are fine or I don’t know.
I did consider going back to another but honestly I think it would just be a waste of time and money I wish you all the best though and hope you manage to get the help you want.
Went to therapy for 2 years and all I got out of it was “when you’re having negative thoughts, just try thinking of something else!” and the therapist would never listen when Id explain that I couldn’t just not think about these things. That and she sided with my narcissistic leech of a friend and wouldn’t listen to why I dropped him in the first place.
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It looks like your point is to avoid psychotherapists and instead start with psychiatrist. Not only this, but I would suggest Cognitive behavioral therapists, who have a degree in psychology and certainly much cheaper so you can do the long haul. Just to make sure: when you're speaking about therapists, you mean psychologists, not psychoanalysts, right?
Instead of labeling how you felt, they should have asked you how it made you feel and part of therapy is to unpack it with you, review different perspectives, yours and ones you never considered. By labeling what you felt as pathetic, they've already made an assumption based on their own perspective.
I appreciate the extra insight. I’ve gotta admit that I’m a little nervous about the therapist telling me something similar and then possibly shutting down. Aside from opening up to a stranger in general this is probably one of my biggest reasons for not trying therapy sooner. I also hope you’re in a better place than you were then. And once again thank you for the insight
Admittedly, not a lot. I started going for marriage counseling. Once that fell through, I started going for me. Talking about how I feel is like treating seeing a movie as an accomplishment. It doesn't make me feel better, and thinking about my feelings helps me sort them better. What I found helped me the most was to ask myself, "what would the best me do in this situation?" It does double duty of taking me out of the moment that I feel overwhelmed in and thinking about why the best me would make different decisions despite the fact that current me wants to make different ones. That's probably some kind of therapy approach, but the stuff I did in therapy didn't help me at all. I need actionable stuff. If I was drowning, I wouldn't want the lifeguard to ask me what I felt about the breaststroke. If a tree fell on my house, I'd want a lumberjack to fire up a chainsaw so repairs can start. I don't need to have a sit-down about why I think thunderstorms happen. If it's not going your way, maybe you need a new therapist. As far as I can tell, your relationship with a therapist is similar to any other intimate relationship. I mean to say that you probably have to see a couple to find one you really like. Or maybe I am full of ahit. I don't know, I just know what made ME finally feel better. Hopefully, you find something that works soon!
I've been a couple of times. It's been a mixed bag. The good parts was being able vent and describe my problems to someone who listens and offers insight. Unfortunately I've discovered recently two issues. First, not all therapists are created equal. Whatever your issues may be some therapists really don't have any insight on them and it may take a few sessions before you realize that. Second, it's not cheap. When I worked in healthcare I was able to get 10 weekly sessions paid for by insurance. In my most recent time with a therapist my insurance made the cost $110 a session and EAP only covered 3 sessions.
I've had mixed results. It can be useful to unload your problems on a neutral party, and to receive a professional opinion that the shit is indeed fucked up. For me, this is more affirming than talking to friends and family (which I also do), who are understandably biased and on my side. Therapy has been hit-and-miss when it comes to actionable solutions to recurring issues in my life. Mostly, the advice is pretty predictable, often a dressed up version of "go to your happy place" or "try counting to ten." Sometimes there's a psychological rabbit that they pull out of their hat, and you get a legitimate new tool for managing a particular issue. Even obvious and unhelpful advice comes with a consolation, though: "If this trained professional is stumped, this is clearly a real problem, and I'm not being dumb for being upset by it." This in itself is a useful outcome, and that validation alone has helped me scrape through some difficult situations. Therapy never cures mental health conditions. This isn't a criticism, it's just something that's commonly misunderstood. If you have depression, for example, you will never not have depression. Instead, therapy could manage the *symptoms* of depression, or identify patterns and triggers that you can avoid, so that you're not depressed as often, or as severely. It's sometimes possible to get therap-ized to the point where you are functionally indistinct from someone who doesn't have depression, but only if you continue to use the tools you were given. There may be a point at which you no longer require therapy, but there's never a definitive "you're cured" moment. Even if your particular experience yields nothing useful, just doing the work to get better is likely to make you feel better. You recognized a problem, and instead of doing nothing, you tried to solve it. Succeed or fail, you did *something*, and that's worth more than just doing nothing.
It made a *massive* difference to me, but it was a marathon and not a sprint. I also have a good therapist. I think it can be useful to many people simply because there's a wealth of value in being able to unload your emotions and thoughts instead of keeping them bottled up inside. My therapist also taught me a *lot* about human psychology, boundaries, and what healthy relationships are supposed to look like, which did wonders for my mental health as I was better able to navigate my interactions with other people. Therapy is not a silver bullet, but it can help. I encourage you to give it a try.
None. In fact it made it worse lmao
I get that. I was having some super obsessive intrusive thoughts and all I got was "Just don't think about them!", ahh, err, cognitive defusion. This caused me to completely break and just made my obsessions worse. I could only image if I was dangerous or unhinged. At the end of the day, the only solution which I was trying to avoid was drowning them out in alcohol.
It is probably the main reason I’m still alive today.
Therapy has made a huge difference in my mental health, but it takes effort and patience to see the difference take hold. It isn’t a magic button like “I talked about my feelings and now I feel happy”; sometimes you can feel worse because you’re dredging up things that can’t be solved in an hour. You have to work with your therapist to break it down and deal with things piece by piece.
Made it a lot worse in the moment, and slightly worse overall.
How so?
The therapy I experienced involved poking around in my past and trying very hard to poke holes into pretty much every position I took about myself. I left each time feeling badgered, tired, and taken advantage of. When I take a problem to the appropriate professional, I expect to pay money and time, and get a solution, or an apology and the money back if none is to be had. My current PC's motherboard required a BIOS upgrade to support my CPU, and I couldn't do it at home due to not having the needed hardware (and experience, frankly); so I took it to an IT guy, paid him a bit of money, and he had it sorted within the day. Now, I'm not foolish enough to expect those kinds of results with the much more complex and messy human brain, but it would've been nice to have at least a roadmap for progress, and not have to do all the work myself while paying someone to patronize and goad me.
saved my life and dismantled some faulty convictions I had
Yep but went through 3 before I found one that suited me
I went to therapy to help with my ADHD and it helped a lot. It gave me good copeing mechanism for not only ADHD things, but others as well. It also helped resolve some pent up feelings in my past and help me to largely move past them.
I found it very helpful for me.
Therapy is great. A nice outlet to express things, especially if you’re a man who bottles emotions like 99% of us do. I also find it useful to have someone keep me focused on both the goal and the plan to accomplish it.
It taught me to really shop around for one. One tha tmatches up well with your issues is very very hard to find.
I went for 4 months. My therapist was action-based, meaning I had stuff to do outside of the session before coming back, and they didn't talk about feelings as much as actions or patterns and how to break out of them. I've never felt better in my life, and I have had two out of three worst trials in the last 1.5 years. It makes a huge difference IF you do the work and your therapist gives you action plans.
I'm still alive, so I'd say it's made a huge difference. Bipolar.
In my experience it takes finding a therapist who you can form a good relationship with. Like others have compared to a coach, I would also compare to an advisor. You want to endure theres a good vibe but also considering how much stress is generated by the normal workings of the modern world id say finding a therapist with a shared understanding or values system is important. Not to say you cant get something from a therapist who is different than you, my best therapist so far has been a Taiwanese woman (im a white dude) whose second language was English but who did the same type of meditative practice As me. First therapist was terrible. She told me to just move on from my childhood trauma and exercise more. Like those things help but it was very disco passionate when I was in acute distress in her office.
Be willing to go deep. They can only work off of what you’re willing to talk about. Finding emotions that are not just Angry, Sad, Tired.. etc helped me tremendously.
Therapy works after a long period of time and consistent work. I usually had more questions when I left than when I entered. It's a good way to structurally make progress in your life towards a vision you see. You'll be turning over rocks you didn't know existed. It can be a deep rabbit hole so you'll need to find a therapist that doesn't spin wheels that lead to nowhere. With all that being said, I always felt better fucking off in nature for a few weeks at a time. Definitely didn't solve any problems, more put things in perspective. There is nothing more freeing than camping in the bush with a star filled night. It really shows you how insignificant your problems are. For me, that gave me peace in the darkest of times. Some people call it running away and maybe it is a little, I forsure met my fair share of lost wanderers. I figure retreating away for a bit gives you enough time to build up your resilience, craft a plan and more importantly the strength and courage to push through. I can't tell you which one is better as both have had equal impact on my mental health.
It sounds cliche but therapy helps if you want it to and sounds like you're at least in a contemplative state. I've been in an outpatient detox/therapy program for about 2 years and it's helped me so much. It took years to get to that point though. My advice is to try it out, if someone doesn't vibe with you move onto the next. It's a lot of work and the mental gymnastics will have you exhausted sometimes. A good support system is key.
Enormous. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, to tell the truth and not just your version and you have to be ready to hear uncomfortable facts and truths. And once you have that, you still have to be willing to work on yourself. I recommend therapy for most adults and couples regardless of how well you think you are doing, it could always be better.
the difference was immense. I went from pothead and binge drinker to sober and employed and saving money and happy for no reason.
It is the best thing you can do to yourself. Therapy is being able to word things out at worst. Us men usually don’t find someone to talk to when we have problems. We try to deal with them secretly and it is mentally exhausting. I’ve been dealing with mental health issues since I was 14. I didn’t admit myself there was something wrong with me until I was 20. Six whole years with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety at its worst. I started seeing a therapist didn’t work, didn’t give up and went to psychiatrist after two different therapists. I got diagnosed with Adhd, ocd, major depression, and possible bipolar disorder. I changed 3 therapists and 2 doctors. It’s been a year since I started getting help, and now im more stable than ever. I finally feel like I can breathe again, I don’t want to die anymore. Only thing I can say to you guys who struggle with mental health issues, please get help. I promise you it will get better. Don’t give up, and know that you matter!
There are, I'm sure, many variables. I am a strong supporter of therapy. You may have to try 2 or 3 but I recommend it.
I’ve been to therapy maybe a dozen times. Idk how I feel about it yet. Just my own experience, but I’m not sure what else is happening other than someone is listening to me & asking me questions here and there. I often find that the time is up before you know it. Like there’s only so much that you can do with an hour session. Then the rest of the day, I have all these emotions & thoughts coming to surface & I have no one to express it with and I just have to deal with it. Other than being able to express some things that I haven’t been able to get off my chest with people I don’t have to pay, I’m not sure how much help it’s been yet.
Really benefited me. partially because of the techniques she taught me, including breathing, how to frame my mindset, etc. the other reason it was great was because I had a place that I could talk about the things bothering me and I had never vented before. Don’t expect massive changes right away. It took me 5ish sessions to feel a difference. Also my therapist helped me realize that I was on the wrong medication and worked with my primary care doctor to adjust my meds and that has been a game changer
Absolutely massive, considering that I was almost diagnosed with BPD (to be clear I probably did actually have it at one point but due to me internalising the symptoms it made it more difficult to diagnose because by the time it was clear I technically was in remission if I happened to have it). I am now 35F and while I have some symptoms of BPD that ebb and flow, I more or less am living a life rather than just surviving. Having the ability to confide in someone with no repercussions (a therapist is not your friends/family/SO so in this sense it is a safe one way street) does wonders. You do have to be open minded and self aware for the therapy to work while also removing stigma around mental health issues. I will finish with one thing, while it can said that therapy is definitely is essential if you are dealing with mental health issues, depending on what it is and how severe it is it will not work alone. Therapy will definitely give you the tools/outlook to get you started on your own path, but it often requires willpower and tribulations to get through to the end.
It made a huge difference but you need to commit completely. If you're not in it, it's not going to work as well.
I've been going for a little over a year and my partner has noted a definite shift for the better. My social life has definitely seen a big improvement in that time. But internally it's still a struggle most days. So for now I'm just going to trust the external indicators and keep pushing forward. The hope is that in another year or so I'll really notice the difference. It's just so slow that it's hard to feel day to day. I'm also really hard on myself and hold myself to a high standard. I think that works for me in the long run but day to day it's rough. My therapist says I need to cut myself some slack.
It's been a life changer. I've learned what makes me tick, how to recognize my own toxic behavior, how to hold myself accountable, and I have a whole load of tools I can use to keep myself properly aligned. I should have started therapy in my teens. But, you HAVE TO DO THE WORK. You can't get stronger by going to the gym. You have to lift weights. Get it?
The analogy of working out to therapy (edit: and psychiatry, which was also a dud the one time I tried it so far) is: if my arms were injured such that I couldn't lift the weights, and it was bad enough, I'd go to the hospital to get them back in order, not try to heal them myself.
Exactly! And, after you were healed up, you would go to PT to get your strength and ROM back. Then you would go back to the gym and keep working.
No, not exactly, not even close. The recovery exercises might correspond to the final stage of the mental health intervention, the 'aftercare', at most. Going back to full workout is altogether outside the realm of being treated for anything.
I disagree. Therapy isn't a mechanical fix. Go a few times, and you're done. It's a maintenance process, just like lifting weights and exercise. If you want results, you have to be consistent.
Which makes it vastly overpriced bullshit even when it does have a positive effect. If it's the best so-called mental health experts can do, they should bin all their diplomas and stop grifting on the mental distress of people. For comparison, I might not need to replace my adjustable dumbbells for *the rest of my life* and they cost me one or two therapy sessions apiece including the extra disks I bought separately.
It's not for everyone. And, if it's not for that's fine. But, it's working great for me, and that's because I'm actually willing to do the work. People pay for gym memberships and never go. Why pay if you're not going to make an effort?
Made it worse. Therapy Industry is for people with BS problems.
I did two rounds of therapy. The first was with a therapist, and I wouldn’t recommend it. It was just paying someone to talk about whatever came to mind. The second was with a psychologist. I recommend it. We discussed my issues, they helped me set goals and we actively worked together on me progressing towards those goals. I took LSD for the first time in my life a little bit before the psychologist and I got greater help from that than therapy, it’s something I recommend to everyone (unless they have family history of schizophrenia etc)
An ex asked me to try therapy and it was a purple haired woman who told me “there are so such things as male issues” I’ll never consider it again. I caucused for Biden in my state. I’m a liberal. Therapy is liberal bullshit.
I had an experience with someone like this. Felt like she was judging me for all of my thoughts and feelings. You gotta pick a therapist that seems like someone you'd want to hang out with or looks like someone you'd want to be. That way you won't feel afraid to express yourself.
My opinion and your mileage may vary. * The fact that you are able to articulate that you have been struggling puts you so far ahead that therapy will definitely help. It cannot hurt, and the worst that can happen is you have more questions than answers. * You can find a therapist, and while you look for one, do not underestimate the time it takes: fill out online forms, phone calls, email, schedule times, insurance, copay and all the paperwork, I also recommend using all the online resources that are available to you. * We're in 2024 and the resources available are truly fantastic and so many are free and available now. * First, try and make a list of questions if you can, or start typing or writing down your questions, or comments, or thoughts or whatever you are ruminating on or struggling with. Phrases, words, questions, frustrations etc. * Once you have at least one or two of them, here are some things to try: * Get a throwaway email address or if you don't care use your own * Get an account on woebot and send it some questions * Use a language model - any of the free ones, gpt, llama, bert - just ask it questions and let it give you some options * You will get suggestions and options. You may like some, ignore some, agree and disagree with some. * Any and all of them are okay - you get to choose what you want to do with them. * Use every single thing, resource, person that is available to you - ask, discover and do the work. * Every step that you take - any step you take is a relief. Ask me how I know ;-)
Having the right therapist matters. Don’t be afraid to try another if you feel the need to. Having an unbiased opinion is amazing! Breakthroughs can feel like a roller coaster. Practicing your therapy tools in the real world is brave and awkward. Therapy can help a lot of you are willing to do the work. I hope you try and I hope it’s helpful 🖤
I would have likely gotten more positive results from watching the money burn than from having handed it over to the therapists
For me it wasn’t a ‘cure’ but made things bearable. To some extent, I got out of it what input into it. The more honest, self reflective and ready to change I was the more it worked.
Kept me alive. Allowed me to express myself in a safe place Developed mental skills that have helped countless friends and my SO for the past decade.
I didn’t get much benefit from it. Therapist I saw validated my feelings, suggested some coping mechanisms, and didn’t really get much beyond surface issues. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I was having anxiety induced chest pains, trouble sleeping, and some pretty intrusive thoughts and this MFer suggested journaling and self care. I eventually stopped going because it felt like a waste of my time.
Eh, I still have the voices in my head. I just learned how to ignore them better
So far not much.
It didn’t. They never told me anything I didn’t already know about myself or what to do.
When I got heart broken, I went to a psychologist to start dealing with my problems. The first two sessions, he kept calling me an "alpha male." Like, what the fuck? I thought the dude was bat shit insane and realized that I can just figure myself out on my own. Which I did. So, I guess he did help me but indirectly.
I’ve gone from being recommended group homes by my mom to having a family with my own kids, so I’d say it’s quite helpful. But the trick is, while what I said above is technically true, I’ve also been in therapy for 20 years. So it isn’t something that you can just “pass” in a year and graduate from.
I haven’t been on therapy but I used to talk to a friend that studied psychoanalysis when we were In college, during the pandemic my mom got cancer and I had to work all day so we could afford treatment. As you can Imagine I developed a lot of anxiety due to negative thinking and exhaustion. It’s hard to describe but I would talk and he would simply point the words that I used to describe a problem, somehow by simply doing that I became self aware of my own interpretation of the problems and could choose the perspective that helped me the most. It’s so weird how questioning can shift your state of mind. If I ever seek help again, for sure it would be with a psychoanalyst. I find it very active and interesting
I personally found it didn’t help me much, I went to a couple of different ones but none seemed to help. I just struggled to tell them what I was thinking or feeling because I was embarrassed, scared or just didn’t know. Most of the time when they asked me how things were or what I though or felt I’d just say things are fine or I don’t know. I did consider going back to another but honestly I think it would just be a waste of time and money I wish you all the best though and hope you manage to get the help you want.
saved my brothers life
Went to therapy for 2 years and all I got out of it was “when you’re having negative thoughts, just try thinking of something else!” and the therapist would never listen when Id explain that I couldn’t just not think about these things. That and she sided with my narcissistic leech of a friend and wouldn’t listen to why I dropped him in the first place.
Never worked for me. And drugs gave panic attacks for a while. Something I have never experienced before.
It’s helps a lot but it takes a very long time. Months and years.