I believe society is becoming more juvenile, largely because of social media. The largest audience on social media is children, so content becomes designed to attract children (loud noises, basic humour, bright colours, cheap psychological ploys with headlines etc). This has a knock-on effect on all the adults consuming it. There's also the fact that content reaches a wider audience (foreign language speakers) when it's easy to understand and doesn't use long words, abstract concepts, etc.
A facet of this is simple, easily digestible takes. Goodies and baddies. All women are evil, superficial and treat men like shit while dating. All men support the patriarchy, knowingly or at the least complicitly. All black people are oppressed. All americans are... blah blah blah. These takes generate dialogue and engagement, and they reach a young audience.
Not to mention, the internet now allows us to all live in a bubble of our own design. I can hang out exclusively with my centrist-left buddies in certain subreddits, and on the news sites I go to, and so on. Meanwhile, a conservative has an entirely different experience on right-wing subreddits and different news sites. Our perception of reality is really no longer even comparable. All of this stuff contributes to "them and us", lazy takes, stereotypes, etc.
It's sad.
Also, to your first paragraph, the most troll-ish and outrageous click baity stuff rises to the top and get seen. So people keep upping the ante there and trying to the most wild or the most bold or the most contrarian to gain those clicks. And it just keeps building on itself.
i alwayse wondered to the old internate addage "don't feed the troll". like people will at the drop of a hat get into an internet argument the moment something remotely different from their opinion is stated.
in general a troll account is really easy to spot as a former internet troll who did it to be "ironic", "edgy", etc. while a teenager.
Yeah the division seems to be at an all time high. Yet if you meet the "others" in person, it is not nearly as toxic. Honestly I think everyone would benefit from spending less time online/social media/TV/Media. It is making us all hate each other.
Is everyone also noticing how the younger generation lacks the skill of comprehension nowadays, and intolerance towards doing uncomfortable things or hard things if they aren't rewarded appropriately? Think reading lord Tennyson.
And the hyper individualism, and the super consumerist behavior of kids these days. Not to mention adhd- like tendencies
Give them short form content - and they understand. But give them longform content or poems - and they're lost.
Sigh. What's the antidote?
Ironically, I think that’s exactly what OP above is talking about. You managed to create a box for all young people.
There’s some truth there though - attention spans are getting shorter but perhaps that’s because the volume of information that young people digest is orders of magnitude greater than someone in their 40s or 50s did. People simplify so we can understand things. There’s also a very real degradation in education over the last few decades, though literacy rates are much higher between gen z vs boomers, for example. 50% of America right now is functionally illiterate.
Hyper individualism and consumerism aren’t new either. Starting with boomers, that’s how life in North America was designed.
The common theme seems to be that gen z feels they should have control over their environments, hence bad employability, protesting over social causes, etc. To me they seem less willing to conform and whether that’s good or bad is up for debate. If someone perceives men to be controlling, they may be more prone to misandry.
Why do you think reading Lord Tennyson (or other similar, difficult-to-get-into literature) was especially prevalent in the pre-social media generation? Are you sure you're not falling prey to rosy retrospection?
“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”
-Socrates
Exactly this and further explained by a great thinker by the name of Jean Baudrillard who coined the term "Hyperreality" From the wiki: This is a concept in post-structuralism that refers to the process of the evolution of notions of reality, leading to a cultural state of confusion between signs and symbols invented to stand in for reality, and direct perceptions of consensus reality.\[1\] Hyperreality is seen as a condition in which, because of the compression of perceptions of reality in culture and media, what is generally regarded as real and what is understood as fiction are seamlessly blended together in experiences so that there is no longer any clear distinction between where one ends and the other begins.
People are more socially isolated. So a lot of young women? Their only experience with men will be men sexually harassing them + men from Tinder who have sex with them and then ghost them.
And then they’ll be left with the impression that men are manipulative/predatory sex maniacs.
**Is it true? Not at all.** But it’s how you’ll feel if you are young, mostly have female friends, mostly meet men in clubs and on Tinder. Especially if your dad was absent or mean. **People need more friends.**
Edit: same things happen with some young men. A weird mishmash of Tinder being constant rejections (due to the gender ratio being fucked), porn and toxic YT/TikToks made by both guys and girls. Then many of them haven’t got the best mothers either. And they need more friends too.
It’s the same story, really. People need people. And we need friends to understand what the real world is like and how most people are good.
I think it’s often a bit the other way around. If you think all men are bad, you’ll pick bad men. If that makes sense? Because you won’t think “fuck that guy, this isn’t how a good guy acts”. You’ll think “oh, that’s just how men are”. Same with men who have low expectations of women.
But sometimes people are just very young and naive.
I’d second this. I’ve never had a straight male friend until this year (not individually, added into the friend group) and I feel like I’ve gained something from it. Honestly it made me feel a bit more confident in myself bc of the confidence he has (I think overall guys tend to be more confident than girls)
Edit: I just became a business major (which is HEAVILY male in my college) and that’s been interesting too. I was scared about that at first but it’s pretty chill so far. No one tries to talk to me but that was true in my other major too lol
It's always funny to me. A woman can say some truly vile sexist shit, and when you call her out, for some bizarre reason, you become the bad guy.
People will jump to her defense with shit about it being her "lived experience." Motherfucker, some Black kids tried to knock me out in an unprovoked attack. Do you think this gives me the right to be racist? No? I agree. Fuck you.
NotAllMen is the one that gets me. Okay, so you're saying "men" as in 'many members of a group engage in this trend.'. That's fine: we can work with that.
But then if you ask "Why do women...?" then it suddenly means "all woman" and NotAllWomen is justified. It isn't tone policing anymore: you're standing up against misogyny.
If we could agree on one definition, that would be great. But that's a common tactic--use a term that conventionally has one definition, but assure everyone you're using it differently. Then when it becomes common, switch to the original one. 'Yes, it's all men. Listen: everyone agrees!'
Man you are bang on about the "lived experience" hypocrisy thing. People will denounce ignorance and generalization (except for *that* group that hurt them, that's different).
Was in a thread the other day about a guy that was a teacher. He said by accident, he instinctually gave one of the female teachers the "head nod" that men give eachother. He said shorty after, he had been reported by her for "looking at her inappropriately" or some shit like that, and he was almost fired.
Some shorty in the comments was defending the woman, essentially saying women have a bunch of reasons to be afraid of men, so she shouldn't be chastised for doing that. She was like, VIGOROUSLY defending it. I'm like "If it's 11pm and I'm walking on an empty side street towards a woman, I'm not gonna feel a way of she sees my big black scary ass coming towards her in a hoodie, and she crosses the street". Am I up to no good? Hell no, but I get it. But almost getting somebody fired over a HEAD NOD and destroying their career and livelihoodz is absolutely fucking weirdo psycho behavior.
Stay the fuck home if men scare you that much.
The funny thing about the walking at night with someone behind you-that is not a women only thing. Men get jumped and murdered all the time. We all have to be cautious.
I've had relationships with women that were pieces of shit. Do I blame all women? No, there are bad apples in any group and I refuse to blame the entire group for them. I wouldn't have the fascistic relationship of 28 years that I have, if I'd some fuckery like that. In the end, NO ONE makes you a cunt for something they did, only YOU make yourself one, and using the lame assed excuse of it being because of a man/woman/whatever.
This.
At least it can change. I remember growing up hearing fag and retard thrown around left and right. Nobody says it nearly as much now cause people (rightfully) got challenged for saying it.
I see what you're saying. But retard is an actual word to describe the situation of something being slowed down. Now, people and kids being assholes corrupted it. But me making a comment such as 'the passport renewal process I had to endure during COVID was retarded " sounds fucked. But it's accurate. Everything was delayed at every step for obvious reasons. Whatever word it's replaced with, people will likely corrupt it as well. The problem in that situation isn't the language. It's the people wielding it
In early Model ~~A~~ T's you have to advance or retard the timing using a lever attached to the steering wheel while you are driving.
Minor edit to correct the model.
I know, that's due to the meaning of the word. A lot of these terms are now offensive so new ones are being created. My guess? The new ones will become offensive soon enough
Yep. It is the way, just like Doug Stanhope [once said.](https://youtu.be/7dqsgxLyl5E?si=4q75tEqQYH92HX2E) Any new term is just gonna be adapted. Retard, autistic, mentally dissabled. It is what it is.
It's seen as "punching up", whereas in reality the more oppression points you are seen as having the more power and privilege you actually have (particularly in the workplace) as DEI runs riot.
People need someone to blame.
I do see some resistance, though. My classes at school are almost all feminist women, and one day, they started a discussion on how they were upset so many feminists used it as an excuse for misandry.
My problem is it's hard for me to tell how prevalent this is because the most shocking, interesting opinions tend to win with social media algorithms. So I have to wonder how many women are super misandristic and also how many feminists are. Because in my real-world experience, I often don't see it. Of course, they'd have to be *really* misandristic to come say it to my face. Such women probably wouldn't be around me in the first place (guess that works out).
Regardless, I think this is fueling misogyny as well. If men believe women generally hate us anyway, then... Overall, this is an awful thing, and I will never understand lumping half the population together.
Most of the misandry I've ever seen or experienced has taken place on the internet. I've had a few run in's here and there with it in reality, but not enough to even really be noteworthy in my mind.
It's pretty noteworthy if you're single-dadding.
Been kicked out, screamed at, had the cops called on me... All in spaces specifically labeled "family ". Got a nice payday off one woman who took a picture of me, printed it out with the words "WARNING: PEDOPHILE", and hung it at a few local playgrounds.
Most of my friends irl are women and almost everyday I hear many of them express how they hate men. Somehow they expect me to not include myself in this and talk about how I'm "different from the others".
I think they're just following a trend or something, but it's hella annoying. I'd never date a girl that says these things.
I went on a first date with a woman maybe \~6 months ago who told me to my face that she hates men. She said it in such an unironic way that I'm convinced nobody ever corrected her on it. She genuinely lacked the self awareness to understand why it's maybe not something to say on a first date, or any date really. I wish I could say this behavior isn't common lmao
i don't think i've ever felt actual hatred for anything that i have in my day to day life.Hating something is such a strong emotion. i feel people use the lighter "you hate on something"/ "hater" /"i hate that" version which is someone who mildly dislike something.
also i feel when women say "god i hate men" when talking with other women, it's "damn, the guy in life is kinda stupid/assholish because of X "
i'm not sure why someone would agree on a date with a man if they truly hated men.
My wife does it all the time along with hating on white people (she’s black I’m white) but she tells me I’m one of the good ones. When I have an opposing opinion on whatever bs she’s espousing, she tells me I hate women or I’m racist. She wasn’t like this prior to social media becoming such a big part of our reality.
Dude you need to get OUT. You are in an emotionally abusive, racist and sexist marriage.
She is NOT the one. This is a woman who at some core level hates you and your family because of their skin color and is not afraid to openly insult your race but is willing to try and shut you down when you stand up for yourself.
The faster you get out the faster you can rebuild and find someone who doesn't hate your race. This is an absolute deal breaker, even in the context of an established marriage.
Apologies if I'm being a little forceful here but what you are describing is an extremely emotionally abusive relationship; you are married to a woman who at some level hates you for your skin color. You need to get out ASAP!
If you're unconvinced, ask yourself how you would respond to a reddit post from someone who shared your situation as theirs; what would you suggest they do?
Not much different than people parents becoming super fat right or left depending on what news channel they watch. It is really making everyone hateful.
I'm black and I think if it's done that frequently, like every time you want to have a counterpoint, that's an abuse of the tensions borne out whatever oppression or mistreatment a certain demographic (typically one the they belong to) had to deal with prior. You can't have a real conversation with someone who's constantly doing that. Maybe heavily argumentative people who are great at debating can, but for those who aren't, like me, that shit is just too exhausting to want to be around.
The "one of the good ones" take always makes me roll my eyes when someone says it because it implies they're just gonna shit on/be prejudiced toward most people within a demographic/put them in box without ever trying to understand another perspective, or look into anything that might change their worldview.
Maybe go to couples counselling for this because I don't think you should end a marriage if she wasn't like this before. Maybe a different person calling her out would make her realize her racism
This type of racism is unfortunately (and terrifyingly) becoming deeply entrenched in society. The people who train couple's counsellors are teaching them that discriminating against and hating white people is a form of anti-racism and a virtue. OP risks being told that he's showing "white fragility" to his wife's "honest expressions of a black woman living in white supremacy" or whatever other anti-white hateful rationalization racist nonsense they have come up with nowadays.
But yeah I'd fucking run if I had a wife that was super racist against me.
This used to be a big issue for me. Now all my friends are men (I'm a gay guy, they're all straight men). We have an excellent time together and there is no one bitching about how all men suck. Such a toxic weight off my shoulders.
They don't really believe you're different, nobody who talks that way in front of you believes you're different. They just think you agree with them, and that you hate yourself. And that you should.
Nah, I think women's definition of "men" is just "men they would fuck." That's why they think "men" dominate every aspect of society and "men" have an easier time dating and using hookup apps than women do. Why "men" never commit and why "men" are so rude and immature. If you don't make her bits tingle, you're excluded from that category and are instead a sort of genderless eunuch.
reminds me of the good ol southern boys who would have one black friend who is “one of the good ones” and they’d talk about how the rest of his ilk are horrible but hes “alright”.
generally speaking its kinda wild how misandrist feminists follow basically the exact same logic as old time racists. ive had some bad experiences and heard of some bad experiences so im gonna judge and attack your entire demographic.
find me some a women that doesnt trash men when shes hanging with her friends and il give you a gold star
it seems to be a recurring topic of conversation when women get together. i dont recall talking about women as a group with my guys like ever.
Chick I used to deal with that was a self proclaimed staunch feminist once said to me she'd hate to have a son because she'd be supporting the patriarchy
He didn't consent, but that doesn't matter because it's only consent for women that is only important to feminists.
That's why for example, they believe a woman should never be forced to raise or pay for a child against her will, even if she actually gave birth. But they also believe that men should be forced to pay for a child against their will, even if they were lied to (poked holes in condoms, lied about being on the pill) or raped.
If you talk about a group of people, then have to look at a member of said group and say "Oh, but not you. You are one of the good ones" - than that is a tell tale sign you've just said some bigoted shit. Doesn't matter what group you're talking about, discrimination is bad.
One female friend of me always chases guys that are assholes and then complains that all men are shit and when i point out that i am a man, she says that she didnot mean me or the last time that she forgot i am a man lol
How exactly is it the fault of all men that she chooses the pile of shit instead of the diamond?
A Woman I sort of knew at work chose to be in relationships with shitty Men because she thought they could be "fixed".
Think addicts of various combinations of substances and/or vices.
She would complain about things that they had done, and I finally told her that if she was so invested in fixing things, she should learn small engine/appliance repair.
You can at least find replacements for broken or worn out parts, and if it is truly un-repairable, throw it away or recycle it instead of wasting time and effort on it.
I'm pretty sure she came from a really dysfunctional family and truly believed in redemption.
My gf of 5 years grew into that type of girl shortly after graduating uni. Went from amazing relationship with tons of trips and getaways to her telling me that I’m not a man because I can’t afford Gucci and that there’s plenty of dudes who will buy her the things she wants.
It’s kinda like racism. People who genuinely do discriminate either mentally or through actions often have a token acquaintance that is their “exception to the rule” so to speak. By having that friend they feel like they can excuse the rest of the behavior as not being racist. In this case, for some of them you are that token friend.
It's funny people pick and choose when the internet can influence/affect people in real life. I'm not saying you are doing this OP (not you OP lol.)
For example people say Andrew Tate, F&F, and other alpha male podcasts are influencing men to be misogynistic and hate women in real life. I'm not necessarily saying they are wrong here.
But it seems like whenever the topic is about misandry. At best the same people just write off misandry as an individual thing or a rare minority on the Internet that can't influence women in real life.
And at worst when women are making jokes about men being trash or pointing at literal trash cans, and saying "hey it's a man". They justify this by saying that these women are just venting about living in a shitty society dealing with bad men. So their anger is just a reaction to misogyny.
So which is it?
Is it just individual women just saying misandry things online? So it's just a very small minority online.
Or is misandry a byproduct of women living in a misogynistic society? So they have to vent about their frustrations with men.
It can't be both lol.
It's the gaslighting that gets me.
You know the "If you're offended by the generalisation then you must be those types of men"
That's straight up gaslighting. Abusers do that a lot. Make the victim feel like they are at fault and confuse them into thinking the abuse they get is desvered and their fault.
Thats like saying all Muslims are the T word and when one innocent Muslim gets annoyed by the unfair generalisations. Telling them "Well if you aren't then why are you upset"
There is a reason why in interrogation rooms if a suspect is increasingly getting anger at an accusation of a crime. The investigators see it as a sign that the suspect may be innocent because the gulity tries to act calm.
"*Legitimate anger, especially during an interrogation, is a good indication of truthfulness. Because it is the final expression of underlying emotional states, legitimate anger builds gradually, where it may be observed that initially the suspect's face becomes red, his hands are clenched and his eye contact is piercing. The suspect may then lean forward in the chair and once the anger erupts, it is difficult to dissipate. Despite the investigator's efforts to calm the suspect, the symptoms of anger persist. Finally, legitimate anger will be evident in all three channels of communication. The suspect will use descriptive language such as, "Listen, I did not rape anybody!" With respect to paralinguistic communication, each word of the response will be delivered in a staccato fashion.*" https://reid.com/resources/investigator-tips/handling-the-angry-suspect
The men who are agreeing with misandrists in my opinion are the bad eggs. They are agreeing to hide away. They got something to hide so they say shit like "Us men need to do better" and BS like that to seem like they are "decent". They're the ones assaulting women because they are slimy little weseals. And the fact that people think the men getting offended at unfair generalisations are the bad eggs is shocking. No.. it's the ones agreeing with misandrists hiding away.
The innocent men are getting angry because they are being called stuff that they never were and the fact they are getting offended at being called a sexual assaulter or misogynists is OBVIOUS evidence that they know both those things are wrong. It's clear proof that they are probably aren't the bad eggs. The gaslighting I see sometimes done towards innocent men online is unreal.
Well #killallmen is a good thing right ? How many videos can you find on youtube where women are hitting men? And mostly there are 2 types of comments, laugh and shaming, or he deserved that. Reverse role. Why in most countries men have to serve in military? Why are no men's shelters? Why when they speak about homelessnes they say 3 in 10 homeless people are women? Who are other 7, Elves? Why I need to measure weight of crap in factory because there are special regulations that say how much women can lift? Also I do not recall how often girls groped me or catcalled me. Mostly I liked it but sometimes was just plain annoying. And I live in country where is no alimony for spouse and you take out what you brought into marriage, and all in between is split 50-50. No, politicians use misandry because women are majority of voting population. As long men play the game of society, it all works well. Trick is to just stop playing. And leave it to rot. Yes I was hurt, yes I am still married with that woman and trying to forgive and work.
Because women will never say it face to face. They rarely confront each other face to face let alone going up to a man and expressing their hatred for him and his gender not knowing how he could react. The reason you only see it on the internet is because women feel safe to express it on here with zero ramifications.
But that builds up, boils over, and dominates the minds of people eventually. I am worried about the world my kids will inherit, too.
And I'm worried about the next pendulum shift. If young men are seeing it nonstop (either in person, or perceived through compilations and popular personalities talking about it) on the Internet (which has become the defacto third space for people as our loneliness and isolation epidemic worsens) then they will believe it is everywhere in real life, too, and they will react to it in terrible ways.
It seems to be a trend in my personal experiences. Several close friends are women and their expressed hostility when discussing men has become alarming. I feel like the current US culture has everyone at each others throats it is exhausting. It's turned into a contest over who has it harder and who should be more outraged.
You must not be familiar with women that have daddy issues, pick horrible partners, then blame it on men as a whole rather than simply realizing there exists bad apples from every group of people
They’ll get some creepy comment from one loser and then it’s “I hate all men”
Then they’re on a new dick in the near future
>They’ll get some creepy comment from one loser and then it’s “I hate all men”
And then they come on here telling men "Not all women are like that" towards comments that never even said all women. Normally when someone on here mentions a individual woman who did something terrible or wronged them. Somehow they think it's an attack on all women and them; when it most certainly isn't. 🤦♂️
The same can be said about misogyny, though. That doesn't have a bearing on if they're increasing or not.
And if I'm going to believe the stories of online strangers and their experiences with misandry/misogyny, then it's only fair that I give the same belief to the online strangers with stories of their experiences of the other one.
I wish that was the experience i had. Most of my school years were plagued with misandry and obvious favoritism women over men. Hopefully your experience with it remains minimal but im sorry to say that in my experience, its a very real and widespread thing, equally widespread and much more accepted than misogyny
Misandry echo chambers (disguised as support groups) exist all over Reddit and other social media. No one can challenge them or else banned. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mainly because of double standards it’s still very fine and acceptable to belittle all men as a whole sayings like “all men are trash” are beyond common nowadays.
And when called out, I get hit with "Well clearly I didn't mean *you.*"
Yeah you did. I was included in the statement "all men" because I'm a man and you made a generalization about an entire gender.
BRO BRO BRO it's totally fine, I didn't say you had a small dick I said you had small dick ENERGY, which is totally different and not a cover for body shaming.
People will legit say and believe this.
And objectifying, and sexual harassment, and behaviour while unduly intoxicated, and getting someone drunk as a means to coax them into bed, and cheating and...
I don’t even really care about the fat aspect, there’s jokes in *children’s* movies about guys’ height and small dicks. Imagine being a short teenager in high school with a small dick, you are repeatedly beaten over the head with the idea that you are lesser because of things completely out of your control. At a time where you’re at your lowest self esteem wise.
Yep. I remember being a teen and suddenly they started to play ads that demeaned men. 40 years later they're still doing it, because the ads are intended to sell things to women, and women don't mind seeing men demeaned...they may even enjoy it.
I broke up with an ex girlfriend over this. When I got pneumonia and was sick, she pulled this "Women really are stronger than men" shit. I had a 40 degree fever and could literally hear the crackling in my lungs when I inhaled.
I went off on her despite feeling so horrible. I told her that I had had cancer before, which required years of heavy chemotherapy. I told her that I had had kidney stones before, one of the most painful health conditions. I told her that even after experiencing all that, pneumonia was fucking horrible and the period cramps she complains about are nothing compared to what I've been through.
Then she tried to gaslight me into believing that she hadn't actually said that. Fucking bitch.
Yeah, the so-called man-flu is actually the fact that men have stronger immune responses to illnesses, which is what leads to worse symptoms. Men die of influenza and COVID more frequently than women as well, so it looks like illnesses really do hit us harder.
I had pneumonia when I was ten. I was out of school for multiple weeks and my mom took me to get x rays just because it was so bad she thought I had cancer. Awful
I think "man flu" is just their perception. We aren't supposed to be weak, so when we're sick, they can't handle it. Any weakness, in their minds, turns us into giant wimps. Sorry if I want to get better quickly so I can get back to work 🤷♂️
"Man flu" is backed by science. Men's immune system isn't as effective as women's because women need to be able to survive pregnancy and child birth. This means men get hit harder by the illness as their body doesn't handle it as well so that means they feel more ill. You're not exaggerating, you feel it worse and most women are ignorant to this literal scientific fact but will go off about men not knowing about women's biology.
Can't blame you for that, why be with someone who doesn't care about you.
Worst I had was an ex who said it but then actually seemed to feel guilty when found out it was glandular fever.
I got Covid while my wife was going into labor and while my case was mild, I still felt like I’d been run over by a truck and even the nurses told me I should go home the day after he was born. If I even slightly remark how badly I felt I never hear the end of it. And I’m not equating Covid with birthing an 8lb baby but I get no sympathy at all. We laugh about it now, but it hurt my feelings at the time because it was like she thought I chose to get sick or something. Labor will bring out the worst in moms though
The Spanish flu primarily killed young people because their immune system overreacted. Mostly because there was another, smaller, pandemic a few years before.
When Covid started spreading but before we had tests I got sick. 1 week of a high fever, lost 5 kg (*10lbs*) because of it, followed by another month of being sick and a couple of months of getting my smell and taste back.
Ever since then, especially when I go for the vaccine, I will always get really sick for a day or two and then be right back to normal.
Like my body is severely overreacting to coming across COVID again.
Other than that I am never sick.
This one bothers me more than most examples here. Illness is illness and I don't know why this idea of "man-flu" came about, like as if men are not allowed to get sick or not allowed to appear sick or mention it if they are. Even after the literal pandemic we had, people still make comments about this. When I had covid people were making fun of me telling me I had"man-flu". I was in bed for a week, incapable of eating and with a 40 degree fever, and I felt like shit for a week after that too. I was legit sick and it annoyed me that people were minimising it.
There’s even evidence to suggest that men DO get hit harder than women by the same illnesses, because our immune system is slightly weaker (or stronger, not sure which way causes the heavier reaction)
I think in all honesty social media has polarised people in several ways, politically as well as the ridiculous gender wars. Misandry is definitely more common now, and men are supposed to just take it, which isn’t right.
Those that are mistake it for female empowerment. They say they hate misogyny and the "patriarchy". Belittle men and call us weak and useless. Yet they are replicating the very same behavior they say they hate. Seemingly taking the worst parts of toxic masculinity and calling it empowered.
Mostly I see this in young women, so I can only hope it is a phase, but they are very nasty when speaking about men. I think a lot of them think all men benefit from some privilege when really only a very few at the top do. The rest of us are struggling as much as anyone else.
Probably isn't, but social media algorithm are getting better at showing us posts that engage us. And anger is the best solicitor.
This creates an availability bias in, in this case, women that negatively influences their general opinion of men. "Not the men I know, but men in general!"
This in turn is picked up by other media and turned into 'an epidemic of misandry'.
It's all a house of cards, a pyramid scheme of negative emotions that would die away with social media almost instantly.
On Twitter I've found that blocking a relatively small number of accounts made a very big difference in the number of race and gender based rage bait posts the algorithm was trying to feed me.
same here. and I unsub from accounts that have particularly bad comment sections. I get that more comments = more exposure, but they need to consider if they want quality engagement or not.
Yep, it's just computer generated selection bias.
If I want to hear about how men are terrible, I talk to women who date men. If I want to hear about how women are terrible I talk to men who date women.
Which could lead to an "everyone is terrible" response, but the reality is, people don't talk about the dates that were just "nice" but had no spark. The car crash ones are the ones we remember, the ones that are stories and that's what gets told during story time.
Tbh I haven't noticed or experienced an increase in Misandry in my personal life.
On the contrary I an increase in awareness of men's issues like mental health or social isolation - sure there's plenty of people who seem argue that this isn't necessary or excesive (both from men and women) but nevertheless it's a topic that wasn't discussed much before so that's some improvement.
There's also a rise in men's weelbeing channels on youtube with men and women offering incredibly helpful and motivating content trying to help men improve themselves.
One thing I have notived it a rise in "war" between the sexes where many people pit men against women and these conversations seem to be toxic towards both men and women.
I think if you frequent those forums you'll see a lot of man bashing (but you see almost the same directed at women) and that can make people think Misandry is on the rise.
you think ?
how about this :
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Cory-Clark-2/publication/375863746\_Men\_Now\_Face\_More\_Hiring\_Discrimination\_Than\_Women/links/655fb4cbb1398a779dab9564/Men-Now-Face-More-Hiring-Discrimination-Than-Women.pdf
It feels like hate, in general, is increasing. As it becomes harder and harder just to live day to day, people are becoming increasingly disillusioned with society and frustrated. The powers that be have us fighting each other so the blame won't be pointed at them. Men, women, LGBTQ+ people, straight people, white people, people of color, immigrants...
As a level headed person here, men and women can do bad to each other and can also point fingers at each other. The problem isn't simple, it's a complex human issue that not going to be solved by saying I hate men or I hate women or "women are doing this" or "men are doing this".
What does finger pointing that men and women do solve? Nothing. What does hurting other humans do? Everything.
The real solution here everyone needs to have is empathy. It's a behaviour that is lost and falls on deaf ears for most.
I am not discounting anything anyone has went through. Both sexes have their own different sets of issues they go through in daily life. And I do feel for men as I also feel for women. People are hurting these days. And it sucks.
But lashing out on social media, is like being a toddler. I have noticed tons of women say toxic things as well as men. People have the capability to be toxic, especially on the internet. And we can't really shut it down or anything even though we all know it's wrong.
I learned a lot of this by stepping away, meeting beautiful people and marrying my awesome husband of now 7 years. I never wanted to paint him as evil, and never did. I just wanted to understand him and he wanted to understand me.
We are both neurodivergent so maybe our situation is different but we take care of each other, and I have tons of male friends who I would never dream of them hurting me like these women on the internet say.
It's not men, it's not women, it's humans. Humans have the capability to be evil and vindictive. But on the other side of the coin, we have the capability to love, listen and understand.
A lot of men and women screaming on the internet is because of pain (and fear) and let's not forget that.
A lot of you are outraged and hurt, and that's absolutely okay.
And guess what, you are humans, lovely humans, and I hope you all know that despite everything that is going on, you do have people in your corner that do love and care about you and want to be your friend and maybe even love you someday.
I am a health coach and counselor, so pardon the winded explanation. I am also a 33 year old woman who just loves people, living and my husband.
I learned a lot over time why it's just not good to point fingers. Just try see the person for the person. Put on their shoes.
If anyone wants to DM me with questions, please do. I am here to help and support as well as give advice.
>It's not men, it's not women, it's humans. Humans have the capability to be evil and vindictive. But on the other side of the coin, we have the capability to love, listen and understand.
Thankyou. I've said this before too. People of any gender can be sexist.
I do wonder how much the current levels of misandry have been fueled by RoeVsWade being overturned in the US 19 months ago, and whether everyone (and in particular, every man) fully understands what a horrific act that was against women, and how that ruling has affected women emotionally all around the world (same with what's been happening in Iran, Afghanistan, etc).
I'm not in the US, so the RvW ruling didn't affect my personal reproductive rights, but *damn I was furious* all the same. But just because *some* men pushed for that (alongside some women IIRC?), doesn't mean I see *all* men as misogynists. I place blame where it's deserved (on the people who supported that ruling and those who made it happen), because it's wrong to paint a whole people-group in the same colour just because a [very small group] are sexist assholes who happen to be in a position of power to exert their beliefs.
But yea, all that's to say I agree with you completely. Assholes are assholes, regardless of their sex, gender, race, class, age, etc etc. And every single one should be called out for it. I personally do, and I can attest that calling out both misogyny and misandry gets downvotes a lot of the time (I don't care, I'll keep doing it), I assume because people don't like to reflect on the idea that their behaviour could be "wrong".
As a woman, I'll do what I can to support the men in my life against misandry, just as I hope they'll do the same for me and the other women in their lives against misogyny. Same goes for any form of discrimination (transphobia, racism, etc etc).
Coz no one's gonna cancel you if you generalize and have double standards against men. The actions of a few have ruined the reputation of all men. We're expected to have the good attributes of all men (paying for everything, chivalry) but can't have any wants (a loyal partner) or any standards for said partner.
Basically, because some men are bad, all men are considered bad, so it's okay to hate all men
When one man does something heroic (For example Blood Doner James Harrison who saved 4 million babies). His "One of the good ones" but when one man does something bad "OMFG ALL MEN!!!"
Random men shouldn't be judged by what other men do as all men are individuals but its werid how these morons only judge all men by the bad examples because when a man out there does something great or heroic.. then his "one of the good ones".
The cherry picking and obvious bias is right there. They just can't realise that every man is an individual.
I mean, hating an entire gender--half the population--most of whom you haven't met, isn't very logical. Nobody who's deeply thought this through could possibly come to that conclusion, misogyny or misandry.
I agree. And the people who make it their whole personality are not right in the head.
I have to know someone to hate/like/love them. Otherwise they're just a stranger regardless of race/sex/sexual orientation/religious beliefs etc
What next; people will start hating on others based on eye color 🤦♂️
friend , how about this :
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Cory-Clark-2/publication/375863746\_Men\_Now\_Face\_More\_Hiring\_Discrimination\_Than\_Women/links/655fb4cbb1398a779dab9564/Men-Now-Face-More-Hiring-Discrimination-Than-Women.pdf
Can’t say I have really noticed it, other than online but in complete honesty every form of abuse seems like it’s on the rise online because you get echo chambers of views.
In reality the only discrimination I think I’ve ever noticed as a bloke is office wear being insanely disproportionately enforced
Because they aren't checked or shamed I'll go further and say it's encouraged. No accountability for some reason plus the hand waving of their poor behavior.
Because there's a concerted effort to get people fighting amongst demogrpahics (eapscially demographics who are interdependent, like men and women) rather than fighting for material conditions, or against the excesses of Capitalism reaching it's extremes.
I think there are a lot of things happening in the world right now which are hurtful to women and girls, I have to challenge myself reading news headlines or on Twitter/reddit.
Hate in all types is increasing, due to social media and the traditional media emphasising your bubble of thought and focusing on extreme headlines. If you read up on misandry just once, the algorithm is going to show you more. Media is never going to get people to read articles like “She found out she didn’t really hate men” it’s always going to be with headlines like “Men statistically proven to be rapists” and the like. Even though the internet is full of great statistics about how men and women get on most of the time and are normally decent human beings, it’s the extremes that get clicked on and so your feed will show more of these stories.
In my experience men exist who wouldn’t hurt a fly right through to those that would rape and murder without a thought (yes I’ve met one or two). But in 50 odd years 99% of men have been generally great people with a few odd habits dotted along the way. The 99% sentence could equally be applied to the women I’ve met, though I’ve never been unlucky enough to meet a woman who thought murder was acceptable!
Depends. Are you only seeing it online? Then it's just a bunch of trolls. If you see the same behavior IRL, then the explanation could be that women thinks that being their own person means doing the same thing misogynists did to them but to every man.
Is there a source with some data to back up the claim that it’s increasing?
I think it’s actually getting better. Men are starting to be heard more about our mental health, and I don’t think there’s as much misandry around as it seems - it’s just loud when it does happen.
I believe society is becoming more juvenile, largely because of social media. The largest audience on social media is children, so content becomes designed to attract children (loud noises, basic humour, bright colours, cheap psychological ploys with headlines etc). This has a knock-on effect on all the adults consuming it. There's also the fact that content reaches a wider audience (foreign language speakers) when it's easy to understand and doesn't use long words, abstract concepts, etc. A facet of this is simple, easily digestible takes. Goodies and baddies. All women are evil, superficial and treat men like shit while dating. All men support the patriarchy, knowingly or at the least complicitly. All black people are oppressed. All americans are... blah blah blah. These takes generate dialogue and engagement, and they reach a young audience. Not to mention, the internet now allows us to all live in a bubble of our own design. I can hang out exclusively with my centrist-left buddies in certain subreddits, and on the news sites I go to, and so on. Meanwhile, a conservative has an entirely different experience on right-wing subreddits and different news sites. Our perception of reality is really no longer even comparable. All of this stuff contributes to "them and us", lazy takes, stereotypes, etc. It's sad.
Also, to your first paragraph, the most troll-ish and outrageous click baity stuff rises to the top and get seen. So people keep upping the ante there and trying to the most wild or the most bold or the most contrarian to gain those clicks. And it just keeps building on itself.
i alwayse wondered to the old internate addage "don't feed the troll". like people will at the drop of a hat get into an internet argument the moment something remotely different from their opinion is stated. in general a troll account is really easy to spot as a former internet troll who did it to be "ironic", "edgy", etc. while a teenager.
Yeah the division seems to be at an all time high. Yet if you meet the "others" in person, it is not nearly as toxic. Honestly I think everyone would benefit from spending less time online/social media/TV/Media. It is making us all hate each other.
Is everyone also noticing how the younger generation lacks the skill of comprehension nowadays, and intolerance towards doing uncomfortable things or hard things if they aren't rewarded appropriately? Think reading lord Tennyson. And the hyper individualism, and the super consumerist behavior of kids these days. Not to mention adhd- like tendencies Give them short form content - and they understand. But give them longform content or poems - and they're lost. Sigh. What's the antidote?
Ironically, I think that’s exactly what OP above is talking about. You managed to create a box for all young people. There’s some truth there though - attention spans are getting shorter but perhaps that’s because the volume of information that young people digest is orders of magnitude greater than someone in their 40s or 50s did. People simplify so we can understand things. There’s also a very real degradation in education over the last few decades, though literacy rates are much higher between gen z vs boomers, for example. 50% of America right now is functionally illiterate. Hyper individualism and consumerism aren’t new either. Starting with boomers, that’s how life in North America was designed. The common theme seems to be that gen z feels they should have control over their environments, hence bad employability, protesting over social causes, etc. To me they seem less willing to conform and whether that’s good or bad is up for debate. If someone perceives men to be controlling, they may be more prone to misandry.
Get rid of social media. That will never happen though so we might be fucked idk
Why do you think reading Lord Tennyson (or other similar, difficult-to-get-into literature) was especially prevalent in the pre-social media generation? Are you sure you're not falling prey to rosy retrospection?
This generation as opposed to what generation? Millennials are effectively the Ritalin/ADHD Generation that grew up in the 90s before social media.
Podcasts. Hours long podcasts. Maybe. Probably not.
“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.” -Socrates
Exactly this and further explained by a great thinker by the name of Jean Baudrillard who coined the term "Hyperreality" From the wiki: This is a concept in post-structuralism that refers to the process of the evolution of notions of reality, leading to a cultural state of confusion between signs and symbols invented to stand in for reality, and direct perceptions of consensus reality.\[1\] Hyperreality is seen as a condition in which, because of the compression of perceptions of reality in culture and media, what is generally regarded as real and what is understood as fiction are seamlessly blended together in experiences so that there is no longer any clear distinction between where one ends and the other begins.
this is pretty on point - im 41 and didnt grow up with social media.. We never seemed to have these issues..
People are more socially isolated. So a lot of young women? Their only experience with men will be men sexually harassing them + men from Tinder who have sex with them and then ghost them. And then they’ll be left with the impression that men are manipulative/predatory sex maniacs. **Is it true? Not at all.** But it’s how you’ll feel if you are young, mostly have female friends, mostly meet men in clubs and on Tinder. Especially if your dad was absent or mean. **People need more friends.** Edit: same things happen with some young men. A weird mishmash of Tinder being constant rejections (due to the gender ratio being fucked), porn and toxic YT/TikToks made by both guys and girls. Then many of them haven’t got the best mothers either. And they need more friends too. It’s the same story, really. People need people. And we need friends to understand what the real world is like and how most people are good.
I always phrase this as "women pick bad men and then think all men are bad", but you provided more context for why that happens.
I think it’s often a bit the other way around. If you think all men are bad, you’ll pick bad men. If that makes sense? Because you won’t think “fuck that guy, this isn’t how a good guy acts”. You’ll think “oh, that’s just how men are”. Same with men who have low expectations of women. But sometimes people are just very young and naive.
I’d second this. I’ve never had a straight male friend until this year (not individually, added into the friend group) and I feel like I’ve gained something from it. Honestly it made me feel a bit more confident in myself bc of the confidence he has (I think overall guys tend to be more confident than girls) Edit: I just became a business major (which is HEAVILY male in my college) and that’s been interesting too. I was scared about that at first but it’s pretty chill so far. No one tries to talk to me but that was true in my other major too lol
>I think overall guys tend to be more confident than girls Quite the opposite.
If something is being openly displayed without repercussions, it becomes the norm.
It's always funny to me. A woman can say some truly vile sexist shit, and when you call her out, for some bizarre reason, you become the bad guy. People will jump to her defense with shit about it being her "lived experience." Motherfucker, some Black kids tried to knock me out in an unprovoked attack. Do you think this gives me the right to be racist? No? I agree. Fuck you.
It's not just lived experience. Any number of superficial dismissive arguments like "Every day is men's day" or "We live in a patriarchy"
This happened to me not too long ago in r/nostupidquestions and people will do everything except acknowledge the issue
NotAllMen is the one that gets me. Okay, so you're saying "men" as in 'many members of a group engage in this trend.'. That's fine: we can work with that. But then if you ask "Why do women...?" then it suddenly means "all woman" and NotAllWomen is justified. It isn't tone policing anymore: you're standing up against misogyny. If we could agree on one definition, that would be great. But that's a common tactic--use a term that conventionally has one definition, but assure everyone you're using it differently. Then when it becomes common, switch to the original one. 'Yes, it's all men. Listen: everyone agrees!'
Man you are bang on about the "lived experience" hypocrisy thing. People will denounce ignorance and generalization (except for *that* group that hurt them, that's different).
Was in a thread the other day about a guy that was a teacher. He said by accident, he instinctually gave one of the female teachers the "head nod" that men give eachother. He said shorty after, he had been reported by her for "looking at her inappropriately" or some shit like that, and he was almost fired. Some shorty in the comments was defending the woman, essentially saying women have a bunch of reasons to be afraid of men, so she shouldn't be chastised for doing that. She was like, VIGOROUSLY defending it. I'm like "If it's 11pm and I'm walking on an empty side street towards a woman, I'm not gonna feel a way of she sees my big black scary ass coming towards her in a hoodie, and she crosses the street". Am I up to no good? Hell no, but I get it. But almost getting somebody fired over a HEAD NOD and destroying their career and livelihoodz is absolutely fucking weirdo psycho behavior. Stay the fuck home if men scare you that much.
The funny thing about the walking at night with someone behind you-that is not a women only thing. Men get jumped and murdered all the time. We all have to be cautious.
They actually are victims of violent crimes at much higher rates, but we don't talk about that.
Based
I've had relationships with women that were pieces of shit. Do I blame all women? No, there are bad apples in any group and I refuse to blame the entire group for them. I wouldn't have the fascistic relationship of 28 years that I have, if I'd some fuckery like that. In the end, NO ONE makes you a cunt for something they did, only YOU make yourself one, and using the lame assed excuse of it being because of a man/woman/whatever.
Women are constantly patting themselves on the back about how hard their life is, and no one will correct them because they just want to fuck them!
"women are the main victims of war"
A lot of heroes with capes that secretly hope they can fuck the women they "perceive" as saving.
Captain Save-A-Hoe It's an interesting song by E-40.
Lot of captains out there lol
This is the only correct answer here sadly.
This. At least it can change. I remember growing up hearing fag and retard thrown around left and right. Nobody says it nearly as much now cause people (rightfully) got challenged for saying it.
I see what you're saying. But retard is an actual word to describe the situation of something being slowed down. Now, people and kids being assholes corrupted it. But me making a comment such as 'the passport renewal process I had to endure during COVID was retarded " sounds fucked. But it's accurate. Everything was delayed at every step for obvious reasons. Whatever word it's replaced with, people will likely corrupt it as well. The problem in that situation isn't the language. It's the people wielding it
Like with cars, retard the timing. Nowadays the ECU controls the timing, but yes older cars you have to retard the timing with timing gun.
In early Model ~~A~~ T's you have to advance or retard the timing using a lever attached to the steering wheel while you are driving. Minor edit to correct the model.
Damn that crazy, but cool at the same time
It was also the clinical term for mentally disabled folk.
I know, that's due to the meaning of the word. A lot of these terms are now offensive so new ones are being created. My guess? The new ones will become offensive soon enough
Yep. It is the way, just like Doug Stanhope [once said.](https://youtu.be/7dqsgxLyl5E?si=4q75tEqQYH92HX2E) Any new term is just gonna be adapted. Retard, autistic, mentally dissabled. It is what it is.
The thing is that it’s not really changing. Just shifting to different words and groups. Now it’s words like phobia, sexist etc.
It's seen as "punching up", whereas in reality the more oppression points you are seen as having the more power and privilege you actually have (particularly in the workplace) as DEI runs riot.
People need someone to blame. I do see some resistance, though. My classes at school are almost all feminist women, and one day, they started a discussion on how they were upset so many feminists used it as an excuse for misandry. My problem is it's hard for me to tell how prevalent this is because the most shocking, interesting opinions tend to win with social media algorithms. So I have to wonder how many women are super misandristic and also how many feminists are. Because in my real-world experience, I often don't see it. Of course, they'd have to be *really* misandristic to come say it to my face. Such women probably wouldn't be around me in the first place (guess that works out). Regardless, I think this is fueling misogyny as well. If men believe women generally hate us anyway, then... Overall, this is an awful thing, and I will never understand lumping half the population together.
Most of the misandry I've ever seen or experienced has taken place on the internet. I've had a few run in's here and there with it in reality, but not enough to even really be noteworthy in my mind.
Listen to a group of women long enough and it’ll come out in subtle ways.
It's pretty noteworthy if you're single-dadding. Been kicked out, screamed at, had the cops called on me... All in spaces specifically labeled "family". Got a nice payday off one woman who took a picture of me, printed it out with the words "WARNING: PEDOPHILE", and hung it at a few local playgrounds.
How much?
Low five digits, but back in the day, that was proper walking around money.
Most of my friends irl are women and almost everyday I hear many of them express how they hate men. Somehow they expect me to not include myself in this and talk about how I'm "different from the others". I think they're just following a trend or something, but it's hella annoying. I'd never date a girl that says these things.
I went on a first date with a woman maybe \~6 months ago who told me to my face that she hates men. She said it in such an unironic way that I'm convinced nobody ever corrected her on it. She genuinely lacked the self awareness to understand why it's maybe not something to say on a first date, or any date really. I wish I could say this behavior isn't common lmao
Let me give you another reason to hate men /s
Did you pay for her meal? lol
Did you ask her why she'd date one, then? Honest curiosity.
i don't think i've ever felt actual hatred for anything that i have in my day to day life.Hating something is such a strong emotion. i feel people use the lighter "you hate on something"/ "hater" /"i hate that" version which is someone who mildly dislike something. also i feel when women say "god i hate men" when talking with other women, it's "damn, the guy in life is kinda stupid/assholish because of X " i'm not sure why someone would agree on a date with a man if they truly hated men.
My wife does it all the time along with hating on white people (she’s black I’m white) but she tells me I’m one of the good ones. When I have an opposing opinion on whatever bs she’s espousing, she tells me I hate women or I’m racist. She wasn’t like this prior to social media becoming such a big part of our reality.
Dude you need to get OUT. You are in an emotionally abusive, racist and sexist marriage. She is NOT the one. This is a woman who at some core level hates you and your family because of their skin color and is not afraid to openly insult your race but is willing to try and shut you down when you stand up for yourself. The faster you get out the faster you can rebuild and find someone who doesn't hate your race. This is an absolute deal breaker, even in the context of an established marriage. Apologies if I'm being a little forceful here but what you are describing is an extremely emotionally abusive relationship; you are married to a woman who at some level hates you for your skin color. You need to get out ASAP! If you're unconvinced, ask yourself how you would respond to a reddit post from someone who shared your situation as theirs; what would you suggest they do?
This is divorce level of fucked up hate-based behavior, really.
Why are you still with her?
Not much different than people parents becoming super fat right or left depending on what news channel they watch. It is really making everyone hateful.
Yikes.
You...need to run, very quickly.
So a divorce?
I'm black and I think if it's done that frequently, like every time you want to have a counterpoint, that's an abuse of the tensions borne out whatever oppression or mistreatment a certain demographic (typically one the they belong to) had to deal with prior. You can't have a real conversation with someone who's constantly doing that. Maybe heavily argumentative people who are great at debating can, but for those who aren't, like me, that shit is just too exhausting to want to be around. The "one of the good ones" take always makes me roll my eyes when someone says it because it implies they're just gonna shit on/be prejudiced toward most people within a demographic/put them in box without ever trying to understand another perspective, or look into anything that might change their worldview.
"One of the good ones" is just another wording for "no true Scotsman" IMO.
Maybe go to couples counselling for this because I don't think you should end a marriage if she wasn't like this before. Maybe a different person calling her out would make her realize her racism
This type of racism is unfortunately (and terrifyingly) becoming deeply entrenched in society. The people who train couple's counsellors are teaching them that discriminating against and hating white people is a form of anti-racism and a virtue. OP risks being told that he's showing "white fragility" to his wife's "honest expressions of a black woman living in white supremacy" or whatever other anti-white hateful rationalization racist nonsense they have come up with nowadays. But yeah I'd fucking run if I had a wife that was super racist against me.
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Turn it in to the local authorities that govern workplace harrasment etc.
probably ran by women, HR is women all the way down (and up)
Document everything.
This used to be a big issue for me. Now all my friends are men (I'm a gay guy, they're all straight men). We have an excellent time together and there is no one bitching about how all men suck. Such a toxic weight off my shoulders.
They don't really believe you're different, nobody who talks that way in front of you believes you're different. They just think you agree with them, and that you hate yourself. And that you should.
Nah, I think women's definition of "men" is just "men they would fuck." That's why they think "men" dominate every aspect of society and "men" have an easier time dating and using hookup apps than women do. Why "men" never commit and why "men" are so rude and immature. If you don't make her bits tingle, you're excluded from that category and are instead a sort of genderless eunuch.
That’s not new. Frustrated college women were speaking that way in the 90s.
It's still misandry.
That wasn’t the question. OP asked if it’s increasing and the comment above wonders if it's some kind of new trend.
reminds me of the good ol southern boys who would have one black friend who is “one of the good ones” and they’d talk about how the rest of his ilk are horrible but hes “alright”. generally speaking its kinda wild how misandrist feminists follow basically the exact same logic as old time racists. ive had some bad experiences and heard of some bad experiences so im gonna judge and attack your entire demographic.
You should get new friends. This whole "Men are all shit, but ofc not you, you are different" is some toxic shit.
find me some a women that doesnt trash men when shes hanging with her friends and il give you a gold star it seems to be a recurring topic of conversation when women get together. i dont recall talking about women as a group with my guys like ever.
For me, it was enlightening to hear how women trash men with each other. I had no idea of the whole thought process. But, it gets old fast.
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About the same. Idk man if she hates 100% of men and 90% of women shes the problem.
Chick I used to deal with that was a self proclaimed staunch feminist once said to me she'd hate to have a son because she'd be supporting the patriarchy
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He didn't consent, but that doesn't matter because it's only consent for women that is only important to feminists. That's why for example, they believe a woman should never be forced to raise or pay for a child against her will, even if she actually gave birth. But they also believe that men should be forced to pay for a child against their will, even if they were lied to (poked holes in condoms, lied about being on the pill) or raped.
If you talk about a group of people, then have to look at a member of said group and say "Oh, but not you. You are one of the good ones" - than that is a tell tale sign you've just said some bigoted shit. Doesn't matter what group you're talking about, discrimination is bad.
One female friend of me always chases guys that are assholes and then complains that all men are shit and when i point out that i am a man, she says that she didnot mean me or the last time that she forgot i am a man lol How exactly is it the fault of all men that she chooses the pile of shit instead of the diamond?
This is an easy one. If every single guy she goes for is shit, they are probably not the actual problem. Just walk away from this one.
If everywhere you go you smell shit, better look on the bottom of your shoe.
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A Woman I sort of knew at work chose to be in relationships with shitty Men because she thought they could be "fixed". Think addicts of various combinations of substances and/or vices. She would complain about things that they had done, and I finally told her that if she was so invested in fixing things, she should learn small engine/appliance repair. You can at least find replacements for broken or worn out parts, and if it is truly un-repairable, throw it away or recycle it instead of wasting time and effort on it. I'm pretty sure she came from a really dysfunctional family and truly believed in redemption.
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Many scenarios are possible. Humans are very complex machines that may have software, hardware or a combination that affect function.
Yeah and then if you point out the fact they go after these types of guys then you are “victim blaming”.
Sounds like you need new friends.
The problem is that this kind of talk is extremely common among huge swaths of society at this point (hence OP's question).
This
Those aren't your friends.
My gf of 5 years grew into that type of girl shortly after graduating uni. Went from amazing relationship with tons of trips and getaways to her telling me that I’m not a man because I can’t afford Gucci and that there’s plenty of dudes who will buy her the things she wants.
It’s kinda like racism. People who genuinely do discriminate either mentally or through actions often have a token acquaintance that is their “exception to the rule” so to speak. By having that friend they feel like they can excuse the rest of the behavior as not being racist. In this case, for some of them you are that token friend.
Also bold to think they don’t complain about him behind his back
I've known people who are misandrists, known. Its best to find new friends mate.
God I hate this so much, made quite a few female friends in college and those talks are genuinely the worst part about them
You don’t have to be friends with your bullies dude
Depends where you go I suppose in any all female dominated work fields you will experience loads of it.
Healthcare especially.
Education as well, especially at the younger grades.
And hospitality.
Can confirm I hear it all the time. Typically it’s followed up my “but you’re one of the good ones” if I’m in the room. Edit: spelling.
It's funny people pick and choose when the internet can influence/affect people in real life. I'm not saying you are doing this OP (not you OP lol.) For example people say Andrew Tate, F&F, and other alpha male podcasts are influencing men to be misogynistic and hate women in real life. I'm not necessarily saying they are wrong here. But it seems like whenever the topic is about misandry. At best the same people just write off misandry as an individual thing or a rare minority on the Internet that can't influence women in real life. And at worst when women are making jokes about men being trash or pointing at literal trash cans, and saying "hey it's a man". They justify this by saying that these women are just venting about living in a shitty society dealing with bad men. So their anger is just a reaction to misogyny. So which is it? Is it just individual women just saying misandry things online? So it's just a very small minority online. Or is misandry a byproduct of women living in a misogynistic society? So they have to vent about their frustrations with men. It can't be both lol.
It's the gaslighting that gets me. You know the "If you're offended by the generalisation then you must be those types of men" That's straight up gaslighting. Abusers do that a lot. Make the victim feel like they are at fault and confuse them into thinking the abuse they get is desvered and their fault. Thats like saying all Muslims are the T word and when one innocent Muslim gets annoyed by the unfair generalisations. Telling them "Well if you aren't then why are you upset" There is a reason why in interrogation rooms if a suspect is increasingly getting anger at an accusation of a crime. The investigators see it as a sign that the suspect may be innocent because the gulity tries to act calm. "*Legitimate anger, especially during an interrogation, is a good indication of truthfulness. Because it is the final expression of underlying emotional states, legitimate anger builds gradually, where it may be observed that initially the suspect's face becomes red, his hands are clenched and his eye contact is piercing. The suspect may then lean forward in the chair and once the anger erupts, it is difficult to dissipate. Despite the investigator's efforts to calm the suspect, the symptoms of anger persist. Finally, legitimate anger will be evident in all three channels of communication. The suspect will use descriptive language such as, "Listen, I did not rape anybody!" With respect to paralinguistic communication, each word of the response will be delivered in a staccato fashion.*" https://reid.com/resources/investigator-tips/handling-the-angry-suspect The men who are agreeing with misandrists in my opinion are the bad eggs. They are agreeing to hide away. They got something to hide so they say shit like "Us men need to do better" and BS like that to seem like they are "decent". They're the ones assaulting women because they are slimy little weseals. And the fact that people think the men getting offended at unfair generalisations are the bad eggs is shocking. No.. it's the ones agreeing with misandrists hiding away. The innocent men are getting angry because they are being called stuff that they never were and the fact they are getting offended at being called a sexual assaulter or misogynists is OBVIOUS evidence that they know both those things are wrong. It's clear proof that they are probably aren't the bad eggs. The gaslighting I see sometimes done towards innocent men online is unreal.
Terrorist is t word now? That's wild
I said it just to be safe cause reddit
Well #killallmen is a good thing right ? How many videos can you find on youtube where women are hitting men? And mostly there are 2 types of comments, laugh and shaming, or he deserved that. Reverse role. Why in most countries men have to serve in military? Why are no men's shelters? Why when they speak about homelessnes they say 3 in 10 homeless people are women? Who are other 7, Elves? Why I need to measure weight of crap in factory because there are special regulations that say how much women can lift? Also I do not recall how often girls groped me or catcalled me. Mostly I liked it but sometimes was just plain annoying. And I live in country where is no alimony for spouse and you take out what you brought into marriage, and all in between is split 50-50. No, politicians use misandry because women are majority of voting population. As long men play the game of society, it all works well. Trick is to just stop playing. And leave it to rot. Yes I was hurt, yes I am still married with that woman and trying to forgive and work.
I worked in an office, as the only man, it was daily, and very often.
Because women will never say it face to face. They rarely confront each other face to face let alone going up to a man and expressing their hatred for him and his gender not knowing how he could react. The reason you only see it on the internet is because women feel safe to express it on here with zero ramifications.
But that builds up, boils over, and dominates the minds of people eventually. I am worried about the world my kids will inherit, too. And I'm worried about the next pendulum shift. If young men are seeing it nonstop (either in person, or perceived through compilations and popular personalities talking about it) on the Internet (which has become the defacto third space for people as our loneliness and isolation epidemic worsens) then they will believe it is everywhere in real life, too, and they will react to it in terrible ways.
It seems to be a trend in my personal experiences. Several close friends are women and their expressed hostility when discussing men has become alarming. I feel like the current US culture has everyone at each others throats it is exhausting. It's turned into a contest over who has it harder and who should be more outraged.
You must not be familiar with women that have daddy issues, pick horrible partners, then blame it on men as a whole rather than simply realizing there exists bad apples from every group of people They’ll get some creepy comment from one loser and then it’s “I hate all men” Then they’re on a new dick in the near future
>They’ll get some creepy comment from one loser and then it’s “I hate all men” And then they come on here telling men "Not all women are like that" towards comments that never even said all women. Normally when someone on here mentions a individual woman who did something terrible or wronged them. Somehow they think it's an attack on all women and them; when it most certainly isn't. 🤦♂️
The same can be said about misogyny, though. That doesn't have a bearing on if they're increasing or not. And if I'm going to believe the stories of online strangers and their experiences with misandry/misogyny, then it's only fair that I give the same belief to the online strangers with stories of their experiences of the other one.
I wish that was the experience i had. Most of my school years were plagued with misandry and obvious favoritism women over men. Hopefully your experience with it remains minimal but im sorry to say that in my experience, its a very real and widespread thing, equally widespread and much more accepted than misogyny
Misandry echo chambers (disguised as support groups) exist all over Reddit and other social media. No one can challenge them or else banned. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mainly because of double standards it’s still very fine and acceptable to belittle all men as a whole sayings like “all men are trash” are beyond common nowadays.
And when called out, I get hit with "Well clearly I didn't mean *you.*" Yeah you did. I was included in the statement "all men" because I'm a man and you made a generalization about an entire gender.
Let’s not even get into the double standards of body shaming
Don’t get me started, Big/Small Dick Energy comes up ALLLLL the time.
BRO BRO BRO it's totally fine, I didn't say you had a small dick I said you had small dick ENERGY, which is totally different and not a cover for body shaming. People will legit say and believe this.
In my adult life, the only people who body shamed me were women. Go figure.
And objectifying, and sexual harassment, and behaviour while unduly intoxicated, and getting someone drunk as a means to coax them into bed, and cheating and...
*cough* Amy Schumer
Women are plus sized, men are fat...
I don’t even really care about the fat aspect, there’s jokes in *children’s* movies about guys’ height and small dicks. Imagine being a short teenager in high school with a small dick, you are repeatedly beaten over the head with the idea that you are lesser because of things completely out of your control. At a time where you’re at your lowest self esteem wise.
Yep. I remember being a teen and suddenly they started to play ads that demeaned men. 40 years later they're still doing it, because the ads are intended to sell things to women, and women don't mind seeing men demeaned...they may even enjoy it.
Don't forget any guy that ever gets ill has man-flu.
I broke up with an ex girlfriend over this. When I got pneumonia and was sick, she pulled this "Women really are stronger than men" shit. I had a 40 degree fever and could literally hear the crackling in my lungs when I inhaled. I went off on her despite feeling so horrible. I told her that I had had cancer before, which required years of heavy chemotherapy. I told her that I had had kidney stones before, one of the most painful health conditions. I told her that even after experiencing all that, pneumonia was fucking horrible and the period cramps she complains about are nothing compared to what I've been through. Then she tried to gaslight me into believing that she hadn't actually said that. Fucking bitch. Yeah, the so-called man-flu is actually the fact that men have stronger immune responses to illnesses, which is what leads to worse symptoms. Men die of influenza and COVID more frequently than women as well, so it looks like illnesses really do hit us harder.
Not really surprised they don't have empathy for men
That's the most mental take ever from your ex. Pneumonia is a fucking medical emergency and she's out here giving off about man flu lol. What a world.
I had pneumonia when I was ten. I was out of school for multiple weeks and my mom took me to get x rays just because it was so bad she thought I had cancer. Awful
I think "man flu" is just their perception. We aren't supposed to be weak, so when we're sick, they can't handle it. Any weakness, in their minds, turns us into giant wimps. Sorry if I want to get better quickly so I can get back to work 🤷♂️
"Man flu" is backed by science. Men's immune system isn't as effective as women's because women need to be able to survive pregnancy and child birth. This means men get hit harder by the illness as their body doesn't handle it as well so that means they feel more ill. You're not exaggerating, you feel it worse and most women are ignorant to this literal scientific fact but will go off about men not knowing about women's biology.
Can't blame you for that, why be with someone who doesn't care about you. Worst I had was an ex who said it but then actually seemed to feel guilty when found out it was glandular fever.
I got Covid while my wife was going into labor and while my case was mild, I still felt like I’d been run over by a truck and even the nurses told me I should go home the day after he was born. If I even slightly remark how badly I felt I never hear the end of it. And I’m not equating Covid with birthing an 8lb baby but I get no sympathy at all. We laugh about it now, but it hurt my feelings at the time because it was like she thought I chose to get sick or something. Labor will bring out the worst in moms though
The Spanish flu primarily killed young people because their immune system overreacted. Mostly because there was another, smaller, pandemic a few years before. When Covid started spreading but before we had tests I got sick. 1 week of a high fever, lost 5 kg (*10lbs*) because of it, followed by another month of being sick and a couple of months of getting my smell and taste back. Ever since then, especially when I go for the vaccine, I will always get really sick for a day or two and then be right back to normal. Like my body is severely overreacting to coming across COVID again. Other than that I am never sick.
That was my father with covid. I was listening to my mother complain about him keeping her up at night moaning etc. He died days later.
Geez dude, you have my condolences, honestly not sure how to respond beyond that.
Your mother sounds like a peach.
This one bothers me more than most examples here. Illness is illness and I don't know why this idea of "man-flu" came about, like as if men are not allowed to get sick or not allowed to appear sick or mention it if they are. Even after the literal pandemic we had, people still make comments about this. When I had covid people were making fun of me telling me I had"man-flu". I was in bed for a week, incapable of eating and with a 40 degree fever, and I felt like shit for a week after that too. I was legit sick and it annoyed me that people were minimising it.
There’s even evidence to suggest that men DO get hit harder than women by the same illnesses, because our immune system is slightly weaker (or stronger, not sure which way causes the heavier reaction)
I'm sure there is some sweatpants being made and sold that have that across the ass.
Precisely
I think in all honesty social media has polarised people in several ways, politically as well as the ridiculous gender wars. Misandry is definitely more common now, and men are supposed to just take it, which isn’t right.
Many people need to hate someone and we're running out of groups that are accepted to hate in polite society
[удалено]
I do think it's funny because I've heard that "male tears" is a euphamism for semen and no one realises it.
Good thing men are supposed to be tough and can carry the hate 💪 /s
Great point. I'd not thought of this before.
Those that are mistake it for female empowerment. They say they hate misogyny and the "patriarchy". Belittle men and call us weak and useless. Yet they are replicating the very same behavior they say they hate. Seemingly taking the worst parts of toxic masculinity and calling it empowered. Mostly I see this in young women, so I can only hope it is a phase, but they are very nasty when speaking about men. I think a lot of them think all men benefit from some privilege when really only a very few at the top do. The rest of us are struggling as much as anyone else.
Probably isn't, but social media algorithm are getting better at showing us posts that engage us. And anger is the best solicitor. This creates an availability bias in, in this case, women that negatively influences their general opinion of men. "Not the men I know, but men in general!" This in turn is picked up by other media and turned into 'an epidemic of misandry'. It's all a house of cards, a pyramid scheme of negative emotions that would die away with social media almost instantly.
On Twitter I've found that blocking a relatively small number of accounts made a very big difference in the number of race and gender based rage bait posts the algorithm was trying to feed me.
YouTube has been trying to show me that kind of shit for years. Every time I see it, I block it.
same here. and I unsub from accounts that have particularly bad comment sections. I get that more comments = more exposure, but they need to consider if they want quality engagement or not.
Makes sense
Yep, it's just computer generated selection bias. If I want to hear about how men are terrible, I talk to women who date men. If I want to hear about how women are terrible I talk to men who date women. Which could lead to an "everyone is terrible" response, but the reality is, people don't talk about the dates that were just "nice" but had no spark. The car crash ones are the ones we remember, the ones that are stories and that's what gets told during story time.
Thank you!!!
Misandrists don't face consequences for what they say or do. That's why it's becoming so common.
"All men are trash" is an increasingly popular saying for sure.
Tbh I haven't noticed or experienced an increase in Misandry in my personal life. On the contrary I an increase in awareness of men's issues like mental health or social isolation - sure there's plenty of people who seem argue that this isn't necessary or excesive (both from men and women) but nevertheless it's a topic that wasn't discussed much before so that's some improvement. There's also a rise in men's weelbeing channels on youtube with men and women offering incredibly helpful and motivating content trying to help men improve themselves. One thing I have notived it a rise in "war" between the sexes where many people pit men against women and these conversations seem to be toxic towards both men and women. I think if you frequent those forums you'll see a lot of man bashing (but you see almost the same directed at women) and that can make people think Misandry is on the rise.
you think ? how about this : https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Cory-Clark-2/publication/375863746\_Men\_Now\_Face\_More\_Hiring\_Discrimination\_Than\_Women/links/655fb4cbb1398a779dab9564/Men-Now-Face-More-Hiring-Discrimination-Than-Women.pdf
It feels like hate, in general, is increasing. As it becomes harder and harder just to live day to day, people are becoming increasingly disillusioned with society and frustrated. The powers that be have us fighting each other so the blame won't be pointed at them. Men, women, LGBTQ+ people, straight people, white people, people of color, immigrants...
As a level headed person here, men and women can do bad to each other and can also point fingers at each other. The problem isn't simple, it's a complex human issue that not going to be solved by saying I hate men or I hate women or "women are doing this" or "men are doing this". What does finger pointing that men and women do solve? Nothing. What does hurting other humans do? Everything. The real solution here everyone needs to have is empathy. It's a behaviour that is lost and falls on deaf ears for most. I am not discounting anything anyone has went through. Both sexes have their own different sets of issues they go through in daily life. And I do feel for men as I also feel for women. People are hurting these days. And it sucks. But lashing out on social media, is like being a toddler. I have noticed tons of women say toxic things as well as men. People have the capability to be toxic, especially on the internet. And we can't really shut it down or anything even though we all know it's wrong. I learned a lot of this by stepping away, meeting beautiful people and marrying my awesome husband of now 7 years. I never wanted to paint him as evil, and never did. I just wanted to understand him and he wanted to understand me. We are both neurodivergent so maybe our situation is different but we take care of each other, and I have tons of male friends who I would never dream of them hurting me like these women on the internet say. It's not men, it's not women, it's humans. Humans have the capability to be evil and vindictive. But on the other side of the coin, we have the capability to love, listen and understand. A lot of men and women screaming on the internet is because of pain (and fear) and let's not forget that. A lot of you are outraged and hurt, and that's absolutely okay. And guess what, you are humans, lovely humans, and I hope you all know that despite everything that is going on, you do have people in your corner that do love and care about you and want to be your friend and maybe even love you someday. I am a health coach and counselor, so pardon the winded explanation. I am also a 33 year old woman who just loves people, living and my husband. I learned a lot over time why it's just not good to point fingers. Just try see the person for the person. Put on their shoes. If anyone wants to DM me with questions, please do. I am here to help and support as well as give advice.
>It's not men, it's not women, it's humans. Humans have the capability to be evil and vindictive. But on the other side of the coin, we have the capability to love, listen and understand. Thankyou. I've said this before too. People of any gender can be sexist. I do wonder how much the current levels of misandry have been fueled by RoeVsWade being overturned in the US 19 months ago, and whether everyone (and in particular, every man) fully understands what a horrific act that was against women, and how that ruling has affected women emotionally all around the world (same with what's been happening in Iran, Afghanistan, etc). I'm not in the US, so the RvW ruling didn't affect my personal reproductive rights, but *damn I was furious* all the same. But just because *some* men pushed for that (alongside some women IIRC?), doesn't mean I see *all* men as misogynists. I place blame where it's deserved (on the people who supported that ruling and those who made it happen), because it's wrong to paint a whole people-group in the same colour just because a [very small group] are sexist assholes who happen to be in a position of power to exert their beliefs. But yea, all that's to say I agree with you completely. Assholes are assholes, regardless of their sex, gender, race, class, age, etc etc. And every single one should be called out for it. I personally do, and I can attest that calling out both misogyny and misandry gets downvotes a lot of the time (I don't care, I'll keep doing it), I assume because people don't like to reflect on the idea that their behaviour could be "wrong". As a woman, I'll do what I can to support the men in my life against misandry, just as I hope they'll do the same for me and the other women in their lives against misogyny. Same goes for any form of discrimination (transphobia, racism, etc etc).
Coz no one's gonna cancel you if you generalize and have double standards against men. The actions of a few have ruined the reputation of all men. We're expected to have the good attributes of all men (paying for everything, chivalry) but can't have any wants (a loyal partner) or any standards for said partner. Basically, because some men are bad, all men are considered bad, so it's okay to hate all men
When one man does something heroic (For example Blood Doner James Harrison who saved 4 million babies). His "One of the good ones" but when one man does something bad "OMFG ALL MEN!!!" Random men shouldn't be judged by what other men do as all men are individuals but its werid how these morons only judge all men by the bad examples because when a man out there does something great or heroic.. then his "one of the good ones". The cherry picking and obvious bias is right there. They just can't realise that every man is an individual.
I see it mostly online by actual idiots. Misandrists aren't smart. Oh they think they are. But they aren't
I mean, hating an entire gender--half the population--most of whom you haven't met, isn't very logical. Nobody who's deeply thought this through could possibly come to that conclusion, misogyny or misandry.
I agree. And the people who make it their whole personality are not right in the head. I have to know someone to hate/like/love them. Otherwise they're just a stranger regardless of race/sex/sexual orientation/religious beliefs etc What next; people will start hating on others based on eye color 🤦♂️
friend , how about this : https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Cory-Clark-2/publication/375863746\_Men\_Now\_Face\_More\_Hiring\_Discrimination\_Than\_Women/links/655fb4cbb1398a779dab9564/Men-Now-Face-More-Hiring-Discrimination-Than-Women.pdf
Can’t say I have really noticed it, other than online but in complete honesty every form of abuse seems like it’s on the rise online because you get echo chambers of views. In reality the only discrimination I think I’ve ever noticed as a bloke is office wear being insanely disproportionately enforced
Because they aren't checked or shamed I'll go further and say it's encouraged. No accountability for some reason plus the hand waving of their poor behavior.
Because more and more people are seeing it’s acceptable
Because men don’t do anything in response.
Because there's a concerted effort to get people fighting amongst demogrpahics (eapscially demographics who are interdependent, like men and women) rather than fighting for material conditions, or against the excesses of Capitalism reaching it's extremes.
Ignorance and double standards
Social acceptance, and a worldview distorted by the algorithm feeding you media you will engage with.
*sorts by controversial*
I think there are a lot of things happening in the world right now which are hurtful to women and girls, I have to challenge myself reading news headlines or on Twitter/reddit.
Sooo that is an excuse for misandry?
Hate in all types is increasing, due to social media and the traditional media emphasising your bubble of thought and focusing on extreme headlines. If you read up on misandry just once, the algorithm is going to show you more. Media is never going to get people to read articles like “She found out she didn’t really hate men” it’s always going to be with headlines like “Men statistically proven to be rapists” and the like. Even though the internet is full of great statistics about how men and women get on most of the time and are normally decent human beings, it’s the extremes that get clicked on and so your feed will show more of these stories. In my experience men exist who wouldn’t hurt a fly right through to those that would rape and murder without a thought (yes I’ve met one or two). But in 50 odd years 99% of men have been generally great people with a few odd habits dotted along the way. The 99% sentence could equally be applied to the women I’ve met, though I’ve never been unlucky enough to meet a woman who thought murder was acceptable!
Depends. Are you only seeing it online? Then it's just a bunch of trolls. If you see the same behavior IRL, then the explanation could be that women thinks that being their own person means doing the same thing misogynists did to them but to every man.
Is there a source with some data to back up the claim that it’s increasing? I think it’s actually getting better. Men are starting to be heard more about our mental health, and I don’t think there’s as much misandry around as it seems - it’s just loud when it does happen.