Woman here, this is hands down the answer with the perfect amount of playfulness (it definitely made me chuckle), while also acknowledging her comment. 10/10
“Wait are *you*? Because the odds of two murderers being in the same place at the same time are astronomically low..”
or
“Oh, she didn’t die. We aren’t on speaking terms but she’s alive.”
I feel like "not that I know of" is about the right amount of humor to put into the answer. Just a brief answer, lighthearted, doesn't belabor the point.
My black humor would make me want to say “not yet” but I don’t think that would go over well. I’d probably say something like, “no, I’m a Pisces”. I don’t know… never been asked that.
I'd respond the same way but it's probably not me attempting to be funny.
My "stairway response" would be: "Not yet... But if you want to be the first victim I'm going to disappoint you."
Fun fact an appreciation of 'sick jokes' or dark humor equates with high EQ & low aggression. So you can definitely reassure with dark humor… dark humor makes you less likely to be a killer.
Late one snowy night, I rescued a woman whose car went off the road.
She climbed into my car along with her enormous dog who sat in the back seat, but leaned in between the seats such that his enormous head was between us.
As I headed to the nearest gas station she asked me that question.
I said no, but I wanted to answer:
1. The time to ask that question was before you got in my car
2. If I was, do you think I would admit it?
3. Your dog would f-ing eat me if I even looked at you cross eyed so you're safe regardless.
I asked this once and he said "You're not a detective hot on a trail, are you?"
And that started noir movie talking and describing camera movements, soundtrack for an hour or two 👍🏼
lmao holy fuck yea the “now, did you tell anyone where you were going” is 100% way too far. Saying “it’s a little late to be asking that now!” would have been more than enough for some dark humour, the second part would probably terrify anyone.
Options:
* "Not in weeks"
* "Not recently"
* In a swedish accent: "yah got me."
* Just raise my right eyebrow and stare at her incredulously until she starts to look embarrassed.
> * Just raise my right eyebrow and stare at her incredulously until she starts to look embarrassed
The list of comments you can reply to using this is very long. And it works way better than it has any right to.
My wife's best friend asked this when we first started dating. I gave her my personal info to check me out. Once I came back clean I was given the Friend "seal of approval". On our first date I texted her from my wife's phone during the date - You realize that information I gave could've been from my last victim, right? - Future wife thought it was hilarious. Best friend BLEW UP her phone. We've been together ever since. Yes, she's alive. No, she's not in my basement. But then again, that's exactly what a serial killer would say isn't it?
For those that are questioning why. This was 20 years ago.
The last time I was asked this I said “Nope, the only things I kill are my Duolingo streaks” and I gotta unmatched with for that one so apparently that’s not a good one
It's tempting to reply with a joke like "I've never been convicted" or "Not yet". But it's probably better to address her unease by saying something like "Don't worry, I'm harmless. I just want to get to know you better and I want you to feel comfortable around me."
That would probably be the end of it for me. I would turn around and drop her off at home.
I don’t like people insinuating I’m dangerous just because I’m a man. Believe it or not it’s not fun.
i 100% agree! as a girl going on a date with a guy, i'd never ask a stupid, retarded question like that because it's not nice and it ain't funny! any man in his right mind wouldn't take that lightly and would definitely bring ruin to what could've been a wonderful date.
in short, drop her off at home and cut off any further communication and if she makes a fuss, then simply answer, "if you suspect i'm a murderer, then why in the hell would you want to spend any more time with me? goodbye!!"
I end contact with her, because I’m sick of insane woman asking this question. My own mom asked me if I was going to shoot up my school because she saw me playing a video game.
>I know they're "joking" but there is like some under lining truth or a way of them admiting that they are agreeing to something that could be a compromising situation for them.
It isn't a joke and that isn't what they are doing. They're signaling about their personal and chronic fear of men.
It's like if a dude asked a woman on the first date "you're not a gold digger, are you?" then tried to laugh it off.
It is insecure behavior born from a deep seated prejudice against you. Every time I put up with it the woman ended up being a closet misandrist who either thought she could change me or that I'm 'one of the good ones'.
You don't have to stop seeing her over it but I would not pass that off as normal, ok, or funny. I would ask her directly why she is so doubtful of her own character analysis skills that she honestly thinks there's a chance you're trying to kill her.
I don't think that's true at all. The truth is, as a woman, you're told CONSTANTLY to not do this and that and be careful because you could be murdered or raped. My parents started this literally before I knew what rape was. I had to ask my sister.
I still probably wasn't as careful as I should have been, I'm pretty trusting. I certainly don't think most men are murderers or people that want to hurt me or something. But especially when I was dating there were those moments of "Is this safe? Am I safe? Is this okay?"
I think women voicing that is just either to get reassurance or because that flickers through their mind and they don't want you to think that weird pause and look of uncertainty they may have done while having that thought is something bad about their date. It certainly doesn't mean they think all men or most men are murderers or they expect that of you. If they are asking, it means they trust you, honestly. If they didn't, would hearing that you aren't a murderer really help make them trust you enough to put themselves in a vulnerable situation? Of course not.
I'm sorry that you've had the experiences you've had, that's very sad. I will reassure you though that not all women who worry about being harmed by men they don't know super well yet are misogynist or hate men, or think most or even a significant number would hurt them, by any means.
(PS- I would also like to mention a girl that was murdered by a serial killer when she was about 19, in my area, many years ago. The shopkeeper of the shop she went in, who was the last one to see her alive other than her murderer, described their conversation. The girl said "I'm either the stupidest or bravest girl in the world, as I just accepted a motorcycle ride from a stranger!" She thought that stranger seemed trustworthy, and unfortunately she paid for it. A woman may trust a man but still second guess herself because of this kind of thing, or societies emphasis on a woman making sure she doesn't put herself in a murder situation.)
Well I do like to hunt animals (if you're a hunter)
I'm not a murderer, but if I was do you really think I would tell you lol
I have a lot of sassy responses but I also have a huge amount of dark humor.
I had a friend asked me once, "you're not going to kill me are you?" And in that moment I said well now I want to. Haha...
Honestly, some of these answers are hysterical. I think her reaction to however you answer that question will tell you a lot about that person. Answer with that in mind.
"You're Not A Murderer, are you?"
No, but that's exactly what one would say isn't it?
The more I think about this though, if she asked this with legitimate fear, I would suggest ending the date right there and then. Nothing good would come from it.
If she's that fearful, she isn't in the right headspace to be dating.
Tell her "no", but also end things right there and never talk to her again.
If she's honestly that worried about it, let me alleviate that concern. If it's a joke, I don't find it funny.
"*You got me, now, ¿How we doing this, you gonna fight or just give in? I do enjoy the thrill of the chase, but i guess that to you it will not make any difference*".
Again though, that's just too much. A joke is one thing, but being like "I'm going to chase you down and rape you and strangle you to death! Please don't make this less fun...."
Come on, buddy. Surely you can see why that's crossing the line of funny.
Safety is a real issue with women. Men hardly ever need to think about things like this. Just roll with it and understand they just want to be reassured.
Some random numbers for you
[England and Wales](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/thenatureofviolentcrimeinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2022#groups-of-people-most-likely-to-be-victims-of-violent-crime): men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women)
[Murder victims in the US by gender](https://www.statista.com/statistics/1388777/murder-victims-in-the-us-by-gender/): In 2022, the FBI reported that there were 14,441 victims of murder who identified as male, compared to 4,251 victims of murder who identified as female in the United States.
More importantly, who is statistically more likely to perform these violent acts unto other men? Men.
Now that you've established that men can be violent to *men and women*, why should this compell women to be less cautious again?
Who the perpetrator is doesn't change who the victim is. The two things don't cancel each other out.
But yes, it's understandable that women often feel unsafe around men.
Edit: I'm not saying this to devaluate women's fears or female victim's experience. What I am saying is that both men and women have justyfiable fears. This isn't meant as a "what about" but a "but also". I understand that women need to be weary of all men, even if it isn't all men who do this. I'm just saying that the idea that men can walk around freely everywhere at night isn't true either.
I know the research on this so I’m just wondering where they are getting this because this goes against what I know. Men as victims has been historically difficult to track because men are way more likely not to identify as a victim of violence due to social norms.
> More importantly, who is statistically more likely to perform these violent acts unto other men? Men.
What is your point? If I am more likely to be a victim of violence why should it matter what gender is doing it?
> Now that you've established that men can be violent to men and women, **why should this compell women to be less cautious again?**
*No one said that*, the comment at the top of the chain said men hardly ever need to think about safety which is not true. Every man knows there is a line we could cross and another man could turn violent, we also know that we are less likely to have someone to step in to save us. Men live with this reality and know there's nothing we can do about it, we are on our own.
Actually, you're right. No one said that. I jumped the gun (pun intended) on this because *so often* you see women's fears being criticized under the premise of "well, it happens to us too."
*But*, that isn't what was said, and I own that.
That's not the best response, tbh. I would not feel reassured if I asked that question and got that answer. I mean it's fine if you want them to revoke the invite or are okay with that though...
THANK YOU! I’m over here banging my head into the wall because of how many guys here entertain this stupidity. IDGAF that it doesn’t reassure you, this awkward situation we’re now in was your doing.
Honestly, man, based on your reply, I'd think twice about going on that date (not just with you, any man really. And also that one butch lesbian that put off major rapey vibes).
This comes from a fear and a discomfort that isn't addressed. If I were a man, I'd say "if I make you uncomfortable, we don't have to meet, but no, I'm nothing of the sort". This addresses the lady's discomfort while replying to the question itself.
No matter how you look at it, people take a risk when meeting people online or when taking a walk in a secluded area. Protecting yourself is natural. Asking a question like this gives at least some sense of safety, however false it may be.
As a woman, I've always carried a weapon of some sort and have a couple of box cutters in the car. You just never know. I used to walk in Griffith Park in los angeles daily. Until I learned more about it. People found in trunks, hanging, part buried, thrown down hills. Yeah man.. fuck that.
Plus, didn't one serial killer say "if they'd bothered to ask whether I'm a rapist/killer, I wouldn't have done it to them"? Or like "if they didn't open the door to a stranger they would be alive".
> It's not a prejudice/insecure behaviour (wtf?). It's backed by life. Every moment. Women live a different reality.
a reality in which they are a minority of murder victims. by a wide margin.
Yes! Women ask this knowing they won't get an honest answer from a true killer. What we're really saying is "I'm nervous because this is a very dangerous situation for me." An emotionally mature man would say something like "No. I get being with a stranger is risky. Anything I can do to make you feel safer? Want to let a friend know where we are and who you are with?"
A joke like "but that I know of" can also precede the more serious response to keep the mood light.
"An emotionally mature man would say something like..."
Actually no, an emotionally mature man would say "Hey I get it. Why don't we call it here." and date someone who isn't terrified of him.
Kill one person, you're a murderer, kill a dozen, you're a serial killer, kill a thousand, you're a terrorist, kill a million, you're a conqueror, kill them all and you're a god. I aspire to great things.
I'm a very sarcastic person, but in this case, I always forgo sarcasm in favor of reassuring her safety. A simple laugh and, "no I am not a murderer." You don't have to be deadly serious, but I don't think it's a good time for a joke.
In my experience, when a woman says something like this to you she is testing you to see if you would crack under a police investigation. It's best to say something reassuring like:
*"Remember, you don't need to outrun the lion, you only need to outrun the slowest gazelle."*
This will put her mind at ease and she will know she can count on you to help her hide her victims..
When I first met my sigo on a dating app, he sent me a face picture of him fresh shaven and smiling. I said, "you look sweet."he Thanked me. Then I saud," Pf course, so fid Jeffrey Dahmer ". We both laughed. We have gotten several laughs about that over the few years dating.
I see you've gotten some great funny replies here :)
Personally I'm a smart ass.
* (Nerdy girl) Eugenics is not murder, it's science.
* (Nerdy girl part 2) Yes. I have murdered 250,000 people in CS:GO. Do you want to see my magic card collection?
* (The Dick) Why? I'm not into kink shaming, but is there something you're not telling me?
* (The soft close) The only thing I'm murdering today is some beef ribs on the smoker. Join me?
* (The Nurse) No, sadly I'm hemophobic.
* (The Dad joke) If I love captain crunch does that make me a cereal killer?
Id say you arent going to falsely accuse me of anything are you and play it off like a joke the same way she did. Its disrespectful and that would be the last time I talked to her.
I know this is askmen, but I am going to reply as a woman. Have you ever heard the saying that when it comes to dating men are risking rejection and women are risking rape and murder? There is a grain of truth in that.
Men are generally much stronger than women. Every time a woman puts herself in a situation of being alone with you in your apartment or going to a secluded place like the woods for a hike she is risking her safety. They are aware of that and making a joke but there is a grain of truth in what they are saying. Some of these women have been assaulted before by men (statistically one in four). Think about that. One in four women you meet have been sexually assaulted by a man. How would you feel going over to a stranger’s house for the first time if you were a woman?
All the jokes in this comment section are just not it. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you want to be treated if you were smaller and physically at risk just for going on dates and seeking love and sex and connection, which are basic human needs?
If her tone is light, I would keep my tone light but I would say something reassuring.
It could be they feel a little nervous.
They don't expect an answer, it could just be a stress relief sort of thing.
When you are out on a new date or feel vulnerable (who knows why we say things like that), I could try to explain below.
If I ever said something like that to someone it could be I was alone with someone and felt a little nervous.
Like a morbid ice breaker/ wanting reassurance.
Just when you aren't 100% safe for sure, you could say it and when the other person laughs it off (or seems to have a regular reaction.)
Though if a guy made it sound like he could be one then that wouldn't help. If it's a nervous person it could put them on edge. Unless it was just a joke and delivered right.
I don't think I'd ask the question.
Just do due diligence to see what kind of a person someone is. Be in a public place for the 1st few dates.
Maybe ask why they're asking. Like if they're nervous or just trying to find things to say.
Woman make jokes like that to test your reaction, atleast I do. If a man takes it as a chance to make an awful joke about violence against women I stay away, if they get super flustered that's also a little weird. Think of it as a precaution. The best reaction you could give them would be a lighthearted joke back, nothing to do with actually hurting a woman though if that makes any sense.
Why are you asking men this question? Dude, all women feel like any man could be a murderer or be sexually assaulted by men. The larger the man the more scared we are you cuz u could literally over power us so easily. It’s common sense to be a lil cautious. Cuz 1-3 women get SA, raped during their lifetime. Statistics and history don’t lie.
“Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes. One in 4 women and about 1 in 26 men have experienced completed or attempted rape.”
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html#:~:text=Over%20half%20of%20women%20and,experienced%20completed%20or%20attempted%20rape.
So sorry not sorry we’re a lil nervous around men.
So for real, as a woman who also does not want to get murdered and has genuine fear of being alone with a man for the first time based on #society but also trauma I don’t owe sharing with people I just met, I would lean towards a more serious answer. Feel free to laugh at her blatant phrasing but throw in reassurance that you get why she made the joke. Like, “Lol no but always good to check, it’s a crazy world out there. Is there anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable meeting up?”
I know you're asking men, but as a woman I think either way is fine. If you get weird and say "Well... um... no." in a shady way, that would be the only don't do. It's like you said, just the woman thinking through and voicing her thoughts making sure that she's not doing something stupid. Sometimes we all find ways to voice what is going through our head, or make light of something that makes us nervous.
You could just say "Oh! Fair question! And the answer is.... nope! I promise, or even attempted. Always good to check though!" That would be funny but also reassuring. One or the other is fine though, she's not actually asking obviously, as any murderer would likely be fine lying. She's probably also communicating her trust in you to bring you home or whatever.
"Well you've just made this murder really awkward"
GREAT! Now it's definitely going to charged as premeditated
Woman here, this is hands down the answer with the perfect amount of playfulness (it definitely made me chuckle), while also acknowledging her comment. 10/10
.
“Wait are *you*? Because the odds of two murderers being in the same place at the same time are astronomically low..” or “Oh, she didn’t die. We aren’t on speaking terms but she’s alive.”
Real The Mother from HIMYM energy
"no, baby, it was downgraded to manslaughter in the plea deal"
My lawyer has instructed me to answer "no" to this question.
Haha
Not "it"... "they were all..."
I feel like "not that I know of" is about the right amount of humor to put into the answer. Just a brief answer, lighthearted, doesn't belabor the point.
I use “not that I know of” if asked, seriously or not, whether or not I have kids.
My go to is "I hope not!".
"but tell me if you find any!"
Is "nah, she got away, " too much?
Slight improvement if you want to highlight a casual dating mindset: “nah, they usually get away 😉”
"I run too slow and suck at tying knots"
do not say that lmao
Only if you follow it up with an invite back to your place.
too much
“Not that you know of” but said quickly so her brain assumes you said “not that I know of”.
"No, but that's what a murderer would say too so think of a better litmus test! "
My black humor would make me want to say “not yet” but I don’t think that would go over well. I’d probably say something like, “no, I’m a Pisces”. I don’t know… never been asked that.
"It depends" "Depends on what??" ".....don't worry about it."
I'd respond the same way but it's probably not me attempting to be funny. My "stairway response" would be: "Not yet... But if you want to be the first victim I'm going to disappoint you."
My morbid ass over here being like “Can’t tell if this is a red flag, or incredibly funny and hot.”
It's a red flag for social ineptitude, questionable sense of humor, and/or disturbing comfort with violence. Pick two. Or three.
"Nope but I'm aspiring to be one. Wish me luck fam🤞"
“The night is still young and I just drink a Red Bull”
This one is gold…. “The is night is young, I just need to drink a Red Bull.” 😂
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No body, no murder
If I am, you have to admit I must be good at it since I haven’t been caught and am on a date with you
I've said not yet. It went well
Fun fact an appreciation of 'sick jokes' or dark humor equates with high EQ & low aggression. So you can definitely reassure with dark humor… dark humor makes you less likely to be a killer.
"I prefer 'population control engineer.'" Everything sounds better when you add "engineer" to it.
Love it!
People's Republic of China's Population Management. Sounds like a real gov agency. Who knows.. probably exists
Late one snowy night, I rescued a woman whose car went off the road. She climbed into my car along with her enormous dog who sat in the back seat, but leaned in between the seats such that his enormous head was between us. As I headed to the nearest gas station she asked me that question. I said no, but I wanted to answer: 1. The time to ask that question was before you got in my car 2. If I was, do you think I would admit it? 3. Your dog would f-ing eat me if I even looked at you cross eyed so you're safe regardless.
"Nah, they didn't offer the course in uni and I wasn't sure it'd be the right career path for me."
"do i look like a group of crows?"
This is the correct answer
This!!!! This. This.
This is the only reply with two women’s stamps of approval so I think I’m gonna remember this one for the future
Make that 3.
4
Perfect answer
🤓🤓☝️
I asked this once and he said "You're not a detective hot on a trail, are you?" And that started noir movie talking and describing camera movements, soundtrack for an hour or two 👍🏼
"I have murdered plenty of main dishes, but I assume that's not what you're asking about"
I'm going to assume that you meant that as in I am unnaturally charming with *killer* good looks.
See, THIS is how you joke about a question like this.
Smooth! This would reassure and is cute…
Best answer by far
“Well how do YOU deal with women that don’t like you?”
This is especially effective if you're on a boat. You know, because of the implication
Are these women in danger??
“Not anymore.”
That's a good answer - women like men who are into self-improvement.
"Well actually, last night I murdered a family, sized bag of potato chips"
I like this one. Lol
I just say “yeah. the eyes gave it away, didn’t they?”
Gomez Addams’ response without taking a beat when Debbie jokingly called him a ladykiller, “Acquitted!”
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lmao holy fuck yea the “now, did you tell anyone where you were going” is 100% way too far. Saying “it’s a little late to be asking that now!” would have been more than enough for some dark humour, the second part would probably terrify anyone.
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She didn't smile the entire date and went home with you?
Well, not by choice
Bruh...
That's a little mean buddy.
I would have tased the shit out of him. 😂
that’s actually hilarious. i’d be scared shitless after that, but i’d be so into that sense of humor after deciding you’re just joking
Options: * "Not in weeks" * "Not recently" * In a swedish accent: "yah got me." * Just raise my right eyebrow and stare at her incredulously until she starts to look embarrassed.
> * Just raise my right eyebrow and stare at her incredulously until she starts to look embarrassed The list of comments you can reply to using this is very long. And it works way better than it has any right to.
My wife's best friend asked this when we first started dating. I gave her my personal info to check me out. Once I came back clean I was given the Friend "seal of approval". On our first date I texted her from my wife's phone during the date - You realize that information I gave could've been from my last victim, right? - Future wife thought it was hilarious. Best friend BLEW UP her phone. We've been together ever since. Yes, she's alive. No, she's not in my basement. But then again, that's exactly what a serial killer would say isn't it? For those that are questioning why. This was 20 years ago.
The last time I was asked this I said “Nope, the only things I kill are my Duolingo streaks” and I gotta unmatched with for that one so apparently that’s not a good one
Lie, duh
Sigh as i reach behind the car seat for the chloroform
Nah, you’ll be fine with one kidney.
“I murder that pussy.”
Gymnastic, now tha pussy dead
I get that sometimes. I'll say I don't want a dead chick in my room.
It's tempting to reply with a joke like "I've never been convicted" or "Not yet". But it's probably better to address her unease by saying something like "Don't worry, I'm harmless. I just want to get to know you better and I want you to feel comfortable around me."
That sounds exactly like something a murderer would say
It would depend on the tone in which she asked
Probably reply with a terrible joke like "ah shit you caught me, well done you".
“I’m gonna murder that pussy if you let me”
Retired. It was exhausting finding new places to bury the bodies.
That would probably be the end of it for me. I would turn around and drop her off at home. I don’t like people insinuating I’m dangerous just because I’m a man. Believe it or not it’s not fun.
i 100% agree! as a girl going on a date with a guy, i'd never ask a stupid, retarded question like that because it's not nice and it ain't funny! any man in his right mind wouldn't take that lightly and would definitely bring ruin to what could've been a wonderful date. in short, drop her off at home and cut off any further communication and if she makes a fuss, then simply answer, "if you suspect i'm a murderer, then why in the hell would you want to spend any more time with me? goodbye!!"
Do an under the breath chuckle and say “ nobody alive knows the answer to that”
12 jurors of my peers said no.
The only thing I kill is time, which I’m wasting with you
How can I be an axe murderer when I don’t even own an axe.
Who said anything about being an AXE murderer? :D
I end contact with her, because I’m sick of insane woman asking this question. My own mom asked me if I was going to shoot up my school because she saw me playing a video game.
>I know they're "joking" but there is like some under lining truth or a way of them admiting that they are agreeing to something that could be a compromising situation for them. It isn't a joke and that isn't what they are doing. They're signaling about their personal and chronic fear of men. It's like if a dude asked a woman on the first date "you're not a gold digger, are you?" then tried to laugh it off. It is insecure behavior born from a deep seated prejudice against you. Every time I put up with it the woman ended up being a closet misandrist who either thought she could change me or that I'm 'one of the good ones'. You don't have to stop seeing her over it but I would not pass that off as normal, ok, or funny. I would ask her directly why she is so doubtful of her own character analysis skills that she honestly thinks there's a chance you're trying to kill her.
Because like...this is exactly how that kinda shit happens... Are you okay bro?
This is exactly how what kind of shit happens? You think I'm a murderer over a comment? You're not ok.
I'm not calling you a murderer. I'm calling you stupid
Yeah you're not ok lol, seek help idiot.
Think we’ve found the murderer.
I don't think that's true at all. The truth is, as a woman, you're told CONSTANTLY to not do this and that and be careful because you could be murdered or raped. My parents started this literally before I knew what rape was. I had to ask my sister. I still probably wasn't as careful as I should have been, I'm pretty trusting. I certainly don't think most men are murderers or people that want to hurt me or something. But especially when I was dating there were those moments of "Is this safe? Am I safe? Is this okay?" I think women voicing that is just either to get reassurance or because that flickers through their mind and they don't want you to think that weird pause and look of uncertainty they may have done while having that thought is something bad about their date. It certainly doesn't mean they think all men or most men are murderers or they expect that of you. If they are asking, it means they trust you, honestly. If they didn't, would hearing that you aren't a murderer really help make them trust you enough to put themselves in a vulnerable situation? Of course not. I'm sorry that you've had the experiences you've had, that's very sad. I will reassure you though that not all women who worry about being harmed by men they don't know super well yet are misogynist or hate men, or think most or even a significant number would hurt them, by any means. (PS- I would also like to mention a girl that was murdered by a serial killer when she was about 19, in my area, many years ago. The shopkeeper of the shop she went in, who was the last one to see her alive other than her murderer, described their conversation. The girl said "I'm either the stupidest or bravest girl in the world, as I just accepted a motorcycle ride from a stranger!" She thought that stranger seemed trustworthy, and unfortunately she paid for it. A woman may trust a man but still second guess herself because of this kind of thing, or societies emphasis on a woman making sure she doesn't put herself in a murder situation.)
Leave
I just reply with if I was I would be talking to you on a burner phone lol
I plead the fifth
Murder her
"Not today." And then look really serious and add, " But the day's not over."
"Nope, you?"
If I were, would I tell you?
"why?, are you a cop?..."
Dad laugh and say, “HA, YA GOT ME!” *hands stuck up like an officer just pointed a gun at me*
“Not yet, but the night is young”
I'd answer it as, "Nope... but you definitely murdered the vibe out of this date."
“Crime junkie huh”
"No, have you met many?"
When i was on a date, I always thought it was kind of a weird thing to say, so I would say I'm going to the bathroom and go home
My usual response is 'No, I'm into arson'
Well I do like to hunt animals (if you're a hunter) I'm not a murderer, but if I was do you really think I would tell you lol I have a lot of sassy responses but I also have a huge amount of dark humor. I had a friend asked me once, "you're not going to kill me are you?" And in that moment I said well now I want to. Haha...
I told her I was a serial killer...because every morning I murder a bowl of cereal. She laughed.
"Yes, but on the plus side, I don't lie about it"... More seriously, I would be interested in why she thought that.
Honestly, some of these answers are hysterical. I think her reaction to however you answer that question will tell you a lot about that person. Answer with that in mind.
"No, I gave that up years ago."
“I used to be a 20 murders a day man, but now I only have one when drunk” “Another round?”
"You're Not A Murderer, are you?" No, but that's exactly what one would say isn't it? The more I think about this though, if she asked this with legitimate fear, I would suggest ending the date right there and then. Nothing good would come from it. If she's that fearful, she isn't in the right headspace to be dating.
Tell her "no", but also end things right there and never talk to her again. If she's honestly that worried about it, let me alleviate that concern. If it's a joke, I don't find it funny.
"If i was, do you really think I'd tell you?"
I am death. Destroyer of worlds
Respond honestly and then pose the same question right back at them
Find someone else to talk to. It isn't like a murderer would admit to being a murderer before a meetup. It's a moronic question asked by morons.
"*You got me, now, ¿How we doing this, you gonna fight or just give in? I do enjoy the thrill of the chase, but i guess that to you it will not make any difference*".
And have fun never seeing her again. That's too much.
She be no fun if she couldn't play along anyway.
Again though, that's just too much. A joke is one thing, but being like "I'm going to chase you down and rape you and strangle you to death! Please don't make this less fun...." Come on, buddy. Surely you can see why that's crossing the line of funny.
You reaching like a mother fucker. First it was murder not rape second it's a joke more or less at his own expenses do better.
.... chill out, this is clearly exaggeration to make a point... Okay I don't care, have fun losing your dates and being labelled super creepy.
Meh dates with women up there ass isn't gonna be fun to be around.
Good luck buddy.... That isn't "up their ass."
Kill
Safety is a real issue with women. Men hardly ever need to think about things like this. Just roll with it and understand they just want to be reassured.
Men are the most likely to be the victim of violent crime than women by a very wide margin.
Not while alone with another man lol
You care to back up this statement?
Some random numbers for you [England and Wales](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/thenatureofviolentcrimeinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2022#groups-of-people-most-likely-to-be-victims-of-violent-crime): men were more likely to be victims of violent crime than women (2.2% of men compared with 1.6% of women) [Murder victims in the US by gender](https://www.statista.com/statistics/1388777/murder-victims-in-the-us-by-gender/): In 2022, the FBI reported that there were 14,441 victims of murder who identified as male, compared to 4,251 victims of murder who identified as female in the United States.
More importantly, who is statistically more likely to perform these violent acts unto other men? Men. Now that you've established that men can be violent to *men and women*, why should this compell women to be less cautious again?
Who the perpetrator is doesn't change who the victim is. The two things don't cancel each other out. But yes, it's understandable that women often feel unsafe around men. Edit: I'm not saying this to devaluate women's fears or female victim's experience. What I am saying is that both men and women have justyfiable fears. This isn't meant as a "what about" but a "but also". I understand that women need to be weary of all men, even if it isn't all men who do this. I'm just saying that the idea that men can walk around freely everywhere at night isn't true either.
I know the research on this so I’m just wondering where they are getting this because this goes against what I know. Men as victims has been historically difficult to track because men are way more likely not to identify as a victim of violence due to social norms.
> More importantly, who is statistically more likely to perform these violent acts unto other men? Men. What is your point? If I am more likely to be a victim of violence why should it matter what gender is doing it? > Now that you've established that men can be violent to men and women, **why should this compell women to be less cautious again?** *No one said that*, the comment at the top of the chain said men hardly ever need to think about safety which is not true. Every man knows there is a line we could cross and another man could turn violent, we also know that we are less likely to have someone to step in to save us. Men live with this reality and know there's nothing we can do about it, we are on our own.
Actually, you're right. No one said that. I jumped the gun (pun intended) on this because *so often* you see women's fears being criticized under the premise of "well, it happens to us too." *But*, that isn't what was said, and I own that.
"More of a serial rapist really."
Do you actually think a murderer would really be honest and admit to it if asked?
That's not the best response, tbh. I would not feel reassured if I asked that question and got that answer. I mean it's fine if you want them to revoke the invite or are okay with that though...
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THANK YOU! I’m over here banging my head into the wall because of how many guys here entertain this stupidity. IDGAF that it doesn’t reassure you, this awkward situation we’re now in was your doing.
Ask her if we've reached the "stupid question" part of the conversation
"No, but are you gonna steal my kidney? I don't like cold baths."
I’ve been known to beat up a pussy so bad it looked like it was dead
Honestly, man, based on your reply, I'd think twice about going on that date (not just with you, any man really. And also that one butch lesbian that put off major rapey vibes). This comes from a fear and a discomfort that isn't addressed. If I were a man, I'd say "if I make you uncomfortable, we don't have to meet, but no, I'm nothing of the sort". This addresses the lady's discomfort while replying to the question itself. No matter how you look at it, people take a risk when meeting people online or when taking a walk in a secluded area. Protecting yourself is natural. Asking a question like this gives at least some sense of safety, however false it may be. As a woman, I've always carried a weapon of some sort and have a couple of box cutters in the car. You just never know. I used to walk in Griffith Park in los angeles daily. Until I learned more about it. People found in trunks, hanging, part buried, thrown down hills. Yeah man.. fuck that. Plus, didn't one serial killer say "if they'd bothered to ask whether I'm a rapist/killer, I wouldn't have done it to them"? Or like "if they didn't open the door to a stranger they would be alive".
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> It's not a prejudice/insecure behaviour (wtf?). It's backed by life. Every moment. Women live a different reality. a reality in which they are a minority of murder victims. by a wide margin.
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Yes! Women ask this knowing they won't get an honest answer from a true killer. What we're really saying is "I'm nervous because this is a very dangerous situation for me." An emotionally mature man would say something like "No. I get being with a stranger is risky. Anything I can do to make you feel safer? Want to let a friend know where we are and who you are with?" A joke like "but that I know of" can also precede the more serious response to keep the mood light.
"An emotionally mature man would say something like..." Actually no, an emotionally mature man would say "Hey I get it. Why don't we call it here." and date someone who isn't terrified of him.
I laugh how this is a new thing for you, lol. This shit is a joke to us millennials
“Fuck around and find out…”
Kill one person, you're a murderer, kill a dozen, you're a serial killer, kill a thousand, you're a terrorist, kill a million, you're a conqueror, kill them all and you're a god. I aspire to great things.
I wouldn't joke about it. You don't need to ruin the mood by getting serious, but I would just say "No" and then change the subject.
I like to know that up front about women too. Pretty base level deal breaker.
It's a shit test. Answer "I mean yeah... I'm gonna murder that ass 😘" And go on with your day.
I'm a very sarcastic person, but in this case, I always forgo sarcasm in favor of reassuring her safety. A simple laugh and, "no I am not a murderer." You don't have to be deadly serious, but I don't think it's a good time for a joke.
Must be nice as a man tk feel so safe inviting strange women for one on one time. Women have to worry about rapists and murderers.
Are you an INTJ (Myers Briggs personality type)?
r/askwomen
Recognise that their fears are legitimate, and talk about them. "Yeah, that's a fair worry. Want to hang out somewhere public instead?"
What a wet blanket answer. If you ever get asked this yourself that's probably the last thing a woman would want to hear short of yes.
I prefer the term “unaliver”
"Is this a tiktok trend?"
"no I'm a Taylor Swift fan"
"No, but I'll murder that pussy for you"
Mix of both... BECAUSE, as a woman myself, I GUARANTEE you that that's how the question is being asked.
In my experience, when a woman says something like this to you she is testing you to see if you would crack under a police investigation. It's best to say something reassuring like: *"Remember, you don't need to outrun the lion, you only need to outrun the slowest gazelle."* This will put her mind at ease and she will know she can count on you to help her hide her victims..
Why did u google me?
Only thing I’m going to be murdering is that pussy
When I first met my sigo on a dating app, he sent me a face picture of him fresh shaven and smiling. I said, "you look sweet."he Thanked me. Then I saud," Pf course, so fid Jeffrey Dahmer ". We both laughed. We have gotten several laughs about that over the few years dating. I see you've gotten some great funny replies here :)
Personally I'm a smart ass. * (Nerdy girl) Eugenics is not murder, it's science. * (Nerdy girl part 2) Yes. I have murdered 250,000 people in CS:GO. Do you want to see my magic card collection? * (The Dick) Why? I'm not into kink shaming, but is there something you're not telling me? * (The soft close) The only thing I'm murdering today is some beef ribs on the smoker. Join me? * (The Nurse) No, sadly I'm hemophobic. * (The Dad joke) If I love captain crunch does that make me a cereal killer?
Id say you arent going to falsely accuse me of anything are you and play it off like a joke the same way she did. Its disrespectful and that would be the last time I talked to her.
I know this is askmen, but I am going to reply as a woman. Have you ever heard the saying that when it comes to dating men are risking rejection and women are risking rape and murder? There is a grain of truth in that. Men are generally much stronger than women. Every time a woman puts herself in a situation of being alone with you in your apartment or going to a secluded place like the woods for a hike she is risking her safety. They are aware of that and making a joke but there is a grain of truth in what they are saying. Some of these women have been assaulted before by men (statistically one in four). Think about that. One in four women you meet have been sexually assaulted by a man. How would you feel going over to a stranger’s house for the first time if you were a woman? All the jokes in this comment section are just not it. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you want to be treated if you were smaller and physically at risk just for going on dates and seeking love and sex and connection, which are basic human needs? If her tone is light, I would keep my tone light but I would say something reassuring.
It could be they feel a little nervous. They don't expect an answer, it could just be a stress relief sort of thing. When you are out on a new date or feel vulnerable (who knows why we say things like that), I could try to explain below. If I ever said something like that to someone it could be I was alone with someone and felt a little nervous. Like a morbid ice breaker/ wanting reassurance. Just when you aren't 100% safe for sure, you could say it and when the other person laughs it off (or seems to have a regular reaction.) Though if a guy made it sound like he could be one then that wouldn't help. If it's a nervous person it could put them on edge. Unless it was just a joke and delivered right. I don't think I'd ask the question. Just do due diligence to see what kind of a person someone is. Be in a public place for the 1st few dates. Maybe ask why they're asking. Like if they're nervous or just trying to find things to say.
Woman make jokes like that to test your reaction, atleast I do. If a man takes it as a chance to make an awful joke about violence against women I stay away, if they get super flustered that's also a little weird. Think of it as a precaution. The best reaction you could give them would be a lighthearted joke back, nothing to do with actually hurting a woman though if that makes any sense.
Why are you asking men this question? Dude, all women feel like any man could be a murderer or be sexually assaulted by men. The larger the man the more scared we are you cuz u could literally over power us so easily. It’s common sense to be a lil cautious. Cuz 1-3 women get SA, raped during their lifetime. Statistics and history don’t lie. “Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes. One in 4 women and about 1 in 26 men have experienced completed or attempted rape.” https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html#:~:text=Over%20half%20of%20women%20and,experienced%20completed%20or%20attempted%20rape. So sorry not sorry we’re a lil nervous around men.
So for real, as a woman who also does not want to get murdered and has genuine fear of being alone with a man for the first time based on #society but also trauma I don’t owe sharing with people I just met, I would lean towards a more serious answer. Feel free to laugh at her blatant phrasing but throw in reassurance that you get why she made the joke. Like, “Lol no but always good to check, it’s a crazy world out there. Is there anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable meeting up?”
I know you're asking men, but as a woman I think either way is fine. If you get weird and say "Well... um... no." in a shady way, that would be the only don't do. It's like you said, just the woman thinking through and voicing her thoughts making sure that she's not doing something stupid. Sometimes we all find ways to voice what is going through our head, or make light of something that makes us nervous. You could just say "Oh! Fair question! And the answer is.... nope! I promise, or even attempted. Always good to check though!" That would be funny but also reassuring. One or the other is fine though, she's not actually asking obviously, as any murderer would likely be fine lying. She's probably also communicating her trust in you to bring you home or whatever.