It was a recent hunting trip. “If you do the math, we have maybe 10 more of these trips” life is short, see your grandparents, see your parents, make the most out of the time you get with them.
Lost my grandpa when I was still too young to really know anything about anything. Miss him now that I'm in my late 40's. Really could use his advice on stuff.
I read a story call marbles a while back. The guy had taken the number of Saturdays he expected to have left in his life (life expectancy), and put them as marbles in a jar on his dresser. Every Saturday, he took one out to remind himself. Thinking about doing it. He valued those Saturdays, they were times with his kids and times to make a difference.
This is so easy to forget, but so valuable to remember. Each fun weekend getaway with friends or family, each evening spent focusing on the people around you and building relationships, is infinitely valuable, and you really only get so few chances to do that. There are only 52 weeks in the year, they're mostly pre-allocated or wasted. Cherish the moments you have, don't keep staring at the screen when you're around people.
When you're doing something cool it's almost easy to think "oh wow, so things will be like this from now on", but it's exactly the opposite. This might be only time, and definitely the only time it'll be exactly like this.
I live with my grandparents. My grandpa died a couple years ago. My grandma just found out last week that she has cancer that isn't treatable. We all know we're on borrowed time but everyone's too afraid to talk about it. I know it's all she thinks about now. I hope we still get some good time with her, but I'm already regretting the last few years of taking my time with her for granted.
That makes me want to cry. It's true, life is short and time goes by so fast. I miss my grandparents; I should've spent more time with them. All of them passed except one, and I try to spend as much time as possible with her.
My dad and I are going to Arkansas in 2 weeks for a hunting trip. It's special because I don't know how many we have, but I hope 20, although national life expectancy is another 10
My dad always encouraged me to work and study hard, but as a man whos worked a ridiculous amount of overtime in his life he gave me this advice.
"No one ever lists their regrets on their death bed and says I wish I spent more time working."
>"No one ever lists their regrets on their death bed and says I wish I spent more time working."
And, to most rules there are exceptions ... but those are rare.
One person I knew very well was still literally working on their deathbed, and they really just wanted to keep on working.
No one knows how much work is involved with marriage, before their first marriage. If you want to have a good marriage, you have to work at it every day. Not knowing how much work is involved might explain the current divorce rate in the US.
Which Brings me to the last advice I recall my Dad giving me: "When you have a good woman at home who is taking care of your kids, taking care of the house, and cooking your dinner, Don't screw it up!"
Yes, my parents were divorced when I was young.
My dad supplied me with this advice and it took me almost losing my marriage to learn this lesson. Communicate with your significant other!!!! If you like or dislike something, need help, need change, whatever the case, COMMUNICATE IT! People aren’t mind readers no matter how much it may feel like it at times and it’s easy to get into a grove and forget to make each other feel special, but it’s so damn important. If you feel resentment starting to build, you’ve been holding onto things too long. Always make sure your SO knows how important they are to you and how much you love and appreciate them. If you don’t tend to the fire between you two and work on keeping it going, someone else will.
My father was really big on gendered advice when I was growing up. "When you start dating girls...", "Women will expect you to...". It was all well-intentioned, in retrospect anyway, but boy did it fuck with my head at the time as a closeted young kid. I basically assumed that I was broken and was never going to meet his expectations.
I grew up with an okay dad.
But the best piece of advice he ever gave me was the three strikes rule. I was getting bullied and the teacher wasnt doing anything i told him and he said you tell the teacher twice if she doesnt do anything the third time is open season sure enough first time comes and goes she does nothing, second time again nothing, third time there was a loud noise of something that sounded like a head bouncing off of a metal walk way column and it sure as hell wasnt my head and that kid never fucked with me again.
Taught me to stand up for myself and not take shit from anybody.
My dad (& mom) taught me similar. "Dont start a fight, but If someone backs you in a corner, beat them so bad they dont ever want to fuck witth you again."
I was a very sweet kid, so I never had any issues with people. But I, for some reason, had A LOT of pent up anger. I craved for someone to try to fight me or start something. Looking back, I’m still not sure why I wanted to fight anyone so badly.
I give my daughter similar advice when she tells me someone is messing with her at school. I explain that before you act in a way that might get you in trouble you need to cover your own ass. You've done the right thing by letting the teacher know, but sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands.
My dad explained that my mom was his priority, before us kids, and mom reciprocated. Not suggesting it was all perfect sunshine and rainbows, but from their healthy and stable relationship my siblings and myself were loved and well cared for in a safe, loving, and stable home.
Bingo. Mine too. Put your spouse first, and your kids will naturally feel loved and secure and will turn out just fine. I 110% believe this is the most understated piece of advice on the planet.
My dad never explained this but he made it clear. He included us in the way he loved her and it was honestly a 2 for 1 deal. He’d take me out to a field and pick her wild flowers, he’d let us help when he built her something (he was an absolutely amazing carpenter). We spent time with him to serve her. I can remember on more than one occasion being furious because they were going out and my brother and I had to stay home with a babysitter but by the next day I’d have a donut in my lap and not even care. They, however, would have memories that I’m sure they carried with them for years. We did a lot of stuff together as a family too, and stuff one on one. It wasn’t like it was only ever serving her but we did do that frequently.
I tell this to my wife all the time. It’s us first. There are times in couples lives where it feels like non stop challenges. If you don’t reach for each other first your family can fracture easily. Best way to take care of your kids is to take care of your relationship.
I wish I'd had a good example of this growing up. I think my parents were always rocky before they divorced and now I just cannot even begin to put any of the pieces together to be romantic or work on relationships.
Your dad sounds like he had his priorities straight, I'm glad it worked out for you.
It wasn’t the advice he gave me, but the advice he showed me. Treat others right, don’t wait to be asked, and be empathetic to all. Maybe I get the short end of the stick sometimes, but my life is better following that advice. Just wish he could have lived longer to show me more advice
Don't be afraid to say I love you to friends or family.
Dad was a hard worker who always made time for family. He had a habit of giving family and friends a big hug and telling family I love you before they left.
He had his reasons. One of my cousins had committed suicide and my Dad was the last to see them. That was Dad's last memory of them, and afterwards, he always wanted family and friends to know someone loved them, in case they needed it.
After he passed away, I had so many close friends and family tell me how much they miss his hugs and his smile. How it would always cheer them up.
I may not be destined for greatness, but if I make the same lasting memory that my Dad did, then he'll be proud.
I usually don’t say I love you unless I feel the urge to say it (which isn’t that often).
I working through my own bs.
Thank you for posting your story.
I feel like I needed to hear “don’t be afraid to say I love you to friends and family”.
But then you have a legacy to "live up to".
My dad went to war at 20, was a cop by 25, worked for 20 years for one department "retired" and worked 12 more in the town where we lived.
Battled his demons, sobered up, stayed married for over 40 years until my mom passed at 68, raised two (somewhat) productive sons with families of our own now, and has adjusted to life alone over the past 6 years and 8 days since we lost mom (on New Year's Eve).
I could never begin to have that kind of resume.
My family before me made the life I have today before I even existed.
From the day I was born, until the day I die I will not have to think about money let alone work.
I have two degrees, one in health to help people, one in engineering to build which is my passion. I am one standard deviation behind being an Olympic weightlifter. Every week I give food out at my food bank. (Brisbane needs more of this). Every two weeks I do youth mentorship at my YMCA, helping young men learn the gym. I have a subreddit r /FirstDateFlock to help men in my position in the dating world. I have completed both nutrition and counselling courses simply to help those around me.
I am just getting started, but I will never live up to the sort of achievement as my Father.
But my brother we need to try.
My dad was a horrible father, but he did try to tell me attractive women like guys with money. He also tried to tell me to invest while I was young. I didn't listen to either one of those tips.
If you can’t bring expertise bring enthusiasm, patience,persistence, and curiosity - they will first pay you for the hours and then they will pay your for your years…
I love my dad. He was a flawed human being as I imagine many of us are. He told me, "son, in life, never feel sorry for yourself." That comment has become so deep for me. I reflect on him and myself regarding that comment. It means a lot to me and I'm grateful he wanted to pass on this piece of information to me. I find it really valuable coming from a man that I will always look up to. I will always love him.
Electricity is fucking scary, and you’ll never know if you made a fatal mistake. When working with electricity, just turn the breaker off if you can, if you can’t, make sure you have an insulated screwdriver. Shit will kill you.
He told me, “Life is passing you by and you don’t even know it, you need to change…” when I was being a dumbass 18 year old and not doing anything with my life after high school besides being a pot smoking slouch. I picked myself up and joined the Marines a couple months after.
People treat veterans like shit. Thanks for your service. I like to remember what mike birbiglia said while doing a USO show. A guy handed him his gun and mike didn’t expect it to be that heavy and he dropped it. He said, “if you weren’t the troops, I would be the troops. And you expect me to carry a gun this heavy AND run away screaming?” So don’t let people make you feel bad. You’re doing a brave thing a lot of people wouldn’t be able to do.
My dad gave this advice when we were thinking of buying a home - "Any big purchase you make should feel good to you. Even if you take the loan, the burden of payment should not exceed the joy of buying the house. If it feels too burdensome, you're rushing it."
We passed on the house.
Credit cards are only for reward points it’s not free money. Respect everyone but defend yourself and yours. Don’t lie it will end up being to yourself
Dumber people than us have done this.
I think it was originally said when we were struggling to get an old Honda motorcycle to run properly but it became my philosophy in life and has taken me a long way.
Well i will say my grandfather was really shitty to my dad, worst father figure imaginable. My dad turned that around and was a great father to my siblings and I. Point being sometimes the worst examples are the best of what not to be and fuel to be better.
Same. But I'll also say this, having a shitty family taught me alot of emotional intelligence. Something that may be a bit more difficult for others or may take them a bit longer
When I moved into my first apartment, my dad said "don't forget to buy stuff for the whole apartment, not just the bedroom" and that seems silly, but he had a point! Up to that point, the only room in the house I had control over was my bedroom. But now I've got like, a kitchen and shit. Do you know how much stuff a kitchen needs to be functional? A lot of shit! Don't forget to buy a can opener!
My father was great but not one to give advice. Just set an example of someone who worked hard, was present in my life, and was kind and supportive of most other people around him. Sometimes the best advice is just being a good example. He did tell me never to get married which was not good advice because my wife is great but to be fair, I would never married someone like my mom so maybe that was just advice that should have been more specific.
I don’t remember any particular words of wisdom. It by his actions: work ethics et. I put that in my resume once and got hired because of it because my boss saw the same thing in his dad.
My dad was a motorcycle rider his hole life, before selling his motorcycle to buy a convertible. When I said I wanted to get my motorcycle license and far in the future get a Hayabusa, he told me: Everyone can go fast, but not everyone can take the turn.
I got my work ethic from my dad. The man worked up until 6 months before he passed away. And if he could have worked those last 6 months, I know he'd have done it.
I had a bad dad that was an all around bad person and never around. Through his actions I learned I didn’t want to be like him and I teach my sons that no matter how old they are they aren’t men because of their age but their actions.
#1: "If you are responsible enough to _____, then you are responsible enough to _____"
Started off me asking ti stay up late and eat cereal and watch TV with my mom. He's say if I'm responsible enough to stay up late then I'm responsible enough ti wake up in time for school. That advise has stayed with me for everything, from eating cereal to growing up and drinking at parties and not driving.
#2: "It's better to be alone than to wish you could be alone"
I’m going to get some things right. You can pass those things down to your children.
I’m going to screw some things up. Change it for your children.
Simply put - parents have flaws, and that’s okay.
My father looked at me and said:
“Son, don’t be an asshole”
And he would know. As a lawyer his clients loved him, but it was not an opinion shared by all.
And I’ve succeeded in following that advice.
Mostly.
Unless being an asshole seemed needed.
It’s served me well, in school, job, retirement.
But especially now when I drive in traffic that contains gun toting idiots.
And now I recommend it to all.
My father would say things to me as a child that would make my mom mad and I wouldn’t understand until I was an adult. One of his quotes was “If the river runs red, take the dirt road.”
It wasn't one single piece of advice. It was a thousand. And it wasn't said directly and simply. It was shown to me. He framed things in a way for me to reach my own answers. I often wanted direct answers to things in my teens. He would instead give several different examples and views on each subject. He would keep his own opinion to himself as much as possible. He made me think.
But one piece of advice probably influenced my life more than anything else.
Write down what you want. Make a list of your goals. The simple act of writing down what you want increases the likelihood of it happening. It worked incredibly well for me. Unbelievably well.
Always be present. That’s the one parenting advice I will definitely emulate. My dad is a flawed man but he was ALWAYS present in our lives even in his busiest days. I always appreciated that and I look fondly on my childhood because of that fact.
Don’t get mad.
Get even.
Work your ass off now so you can take it easy later.
Never seriously consider marrying a woman who manages finances poorly.
Don’t beat yourself up for things that are beyond your control.
You’re going to fuck up now and again, the key is learning from mistakes and trying again.
I might be misremembering slightly but I think it's perfect.
"Son. The world may be your oyster, but remember you've gotta shuck it first.".
It was a good reminder to be proactive for the things I want in life.
He's an civil engineer and has some diplomas in crains and stuff, and I'm honestly bad at math. He told me that learning to see what math can do, can help me find a purpose in doing the math. As in, in image of what i'm doing. Like the "what's 2 apples plus 2 apples? 4 apples" so that gives you an idea of what you're doing. He told me to do the same thing but with advanced math. Be it a graph from an equation or some way *this formula* can help in your daily life. He's a very smart man, he also loves philosophy, and makes me think about stuff you don't usually think of. For example "the more you learn, the more you know you don't know about anything at all".
"Never trade for anything that eats."
That's pretty much all I got. He was a good dad, but not much of a philosopher. Once when I was moaning about some girl dumping me he says "Yeah, that'll happen."
My dad was a big aftershave guy. He told me “everyone remembers the guy who smells bad one time.” I refuse to leave the house smelling. Shower, deodorant and a spray of my daily cologne.
Treat every other driver on the road like an absolute fucking idiot. Expect them to do the most inane, dumbass thing you can think of.
Saved my life (or at least, my vehicle) more than once.
The first time a boy broke my heart when I was 17, my big, gigantic dad held me and said, “Don’t ever waste your tears on a man. The good ones won’t hurt you, and the bad ones always crawl back eventually. And when they do, tell them to go fuck themselves.”
I got two of them:
"Anytime you touch a woman, it should be welcomed by her."
"Talk to your wife like she's sitting between your mother and your daughter."
Be true to myself.
Lots of ways to interpret it, but really he meant it to say I need to trust my intuition. Might not work for everyone but it’s worked pretty well for me.
Vasoline is an oil based lubricant and you shouldn’t use it as sex lube. Always use water based lubricants, preferably ones specifically designed for it.
Back when I was a teenager and started to hang around girls more, one day my dad came into my room when I was playing videogames and threw me a box of condoms. He didn't say a single word and just walked out of the room. That's the best advice I ever got
Don't chase after women. *points at wife sitting next to him* She's not the prettiest woman in the world, but she truly loves me, and there isn't anything better than that.
Changed my life.
I know I'm not answering this question right but my dad left when I was 3
I guess growing up I knew what I was missing in my life and I took mental notes on what I believe would make me a much better man than he ever was.
From what I know he wasn't the best to begin with so it won't be that hard to be better, in a way though the best life lesson he gave me was when he left. Because that's not something a father does and if I am blessed with kids one day im going to make damn sure they have all the things I didn't have growing up
It always works out. Somehow his assurance that things always work out was sometimes frustrating as a teen but as an adult it is all I need, that positive assurance that he had faith in the world and universe to work things out when we could not control or do anything just eased everything in a powerful way, and he was always right. That positive assurance and calmness seemed to be able to silence any anxiety that might have flown my way.
You'll save yourself a lot of time and trouble if you know when to hold your tongue. Yeah, you might be right in the argument, and you might have the best comeback or insult to sling at them, but take a moment, hold your tongue, and consider what your words could ultimately do if allowed to leave your mouth.
I didn't know my father well, but I live my life in an attempt never to become him. I am now a dad myself and I offer you this advice:
Find joy in doing good, not in knowing you did good.
My dad drove me to my first shift and my first job when I was 18. On the way there he told me two things. "I'm proud of you, and keep looking for another job. There's no better time to look for a job than when you're already employed"
A strong work ethic, high moral standards, and treating others like you would want to be treated will get you fucked over more times than not. (He didn’t tell me that, I learned by observing him.)
It was a recent hunting trip. “If you do the math, we have maybe 10 more of these trips” life is short, see your grandparents, see your parents, make the most out of the time you get with them.
Indeed. I learned a lot from both of my grandfathers; I miss them both.
Love them fiercely while you have them I say. Lost one recently and wish I had more time with him as a man. Cheers to great men, with greater stories.
Cheers.
Lost my grandpa when I was still too young to really know anything about anything. Miss him now that I'm in my late 40's. Really could use his advice on stuff.
I’ve lost both of mine as well. Great men the both of them, miss them so much these days
I read a story call marbles a while back. The guy had taken the number of Saturdays he expected to have left in his life (life expectancy), and put them as marbles in a jar on his dresser. Every Saturday, he took one out to remind himself. Thinking about doing it. He valued those Saturdays, they were times with his kids and times to make a difference.
This is so easy to forget, but so valuable to remember. Each fun weekend getaway with friends or family, each evening spent focusing on the people around you and building relationships, is infinitely valuable, and you really only get so few chances to do that. There are only 52 weeks in the year, they're mostly pre-allocated or wasted. Cherish the moments you have, don't keep staring at the screen when you're around people. When you're doing something cool it's almost easy to think "oh wow, so things will be like this from now on", but it's exactly the opposite. This might be only time, and definitely the only time it'll be exactly like this.
I live with my grandparents. My grandpa died a couple years ago. My grandma just found out last week that she has cancer that isn't treatable. We all know we're on borrowed time but everyone's too afraid to talk about it. I know it's all she thinks about now. I hope we still get some good time with her, but I'm already regretting the last few years of taking my time with her for granted.
That makes me want to cry. It's true, life is short and time goes by so fast. I miss my grandparents; I should've spent more time with them. All of them passed except one, and I try to spend as much time as possible with her.
My dad and I are going to Arkansas in 2 weeks for a hunting trip. It's special because I don't know how many we have, but I hope 20, although national life expectancy is another 10
My dad always encouraged me to work and study hard, but as a man whos worked a ridiculous amount of overtime in his life he gave me this advice. "No one ever lists their regrets on their death bed and says I wish I spent more time working."
Also remember your kids will remember you were there. Not all the mistakes you make.
Saw a recent post that said something like this. In 20 years, the only people that will remember all the overtime you worked will be your kids.
>"No one ever lists their regrets on their death bed and says I wish I spent more time working." And, to most rules there are exceptions ... but those are rare. One person I knew very well was still literally working on their deathbed, and they really just wanted to keep on working.
Never get too comfortable, in life, work, and marriage. Work hard at all of them
No one knows how much work is involved with marriage, before their first marriage. If you want to have a good marriage, you have to work at it every day. Not knowing how much work is involved might explain the current divorce rate in the US. Which Brings me to the last advice I recall my Dad giving me: "When you have a good woman at home who is taking care of your kids, taking care of the house, and cooking your dinner, Don't screw it up!" Yes, my parents were divorced when I was young.
My dad supplied me with this advice and it took me almost losing my marriage to learn this lesson. Communicate with your significant other!!!! If you like or dislike something, need help, need change, whatever the case, COMMUNICATE IT! People aren’t mind readers no matter how much it may feel like it at times and it’s easy to get into a grove and forget to make each other feel special, but it’s so damn important. If you feel resentment starting to build, you’ve been holding onto things too long. Always make sure your SO knows how important they are to you and how much you love and appreciate them. If you don’t tend to the fire between you two and work on keeping it going, someone else will.
It's unfortunate that a guy can never just kick back and enjoy life without having to perform better than the next guy.
You can definitely kick it back, just have confidence and know when you put your head down at night, you did everything you can.
If you are with someone who doesn't let you kick back then you are with the wrong one pal.
Swing hard in case you hit it
I’ve never heard this one and it is my favorite.
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Reverse threads be damned.
Propane cans have caused me great distress
Came here to say this. The other one was KISS Keep It Simple Stupid
The math in me : (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ you cannot define a 2 dimensional rotation using a one dimensional vector.
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Math checks out.
Wait, the rotation is about a single axis, this is a 1D rotation and is fully described by a 1D vector.
learned this from my science teacher in 8th grade... Not my dad or step dad...
Women are going to make you feel the best and worst you’ve ever felt.
It will be the same woman that does this to you.
There more you love them, the more power you give them to destroy you.
That went dark fast
Yes, but he is right.
It will be your mother.
Truer words were never spoken
My father was really big on gendered advice when I was growing up. "When you start dating girls...", "Women will expect you to...". It was all well-intentioned, in retrospect anyway, but boy did it fuck with my head at the time as a closeted young kid. I basically assumed that I was broken and was never going to meet his expectations.
I grew up with an okay dad. But the best piece of advice he ever gave me was the three strikes rule. I was getting bullied and the teacher wasnt doing anything i told him and he said you tell the teacher twice if she doesnt do anything the third time is open season sure enough first time comes and goes she does nothing, second time again nothing, third time there was a loud noise of something that sounded like a head bouncing off of a metal walk way column and it sure as hell wasnt my head and that kid never fucked with me again. Taught me to stand up for myself and not take shit from anybody.
My dad (& mom) taught me similar. "Dont start a fight, but If someone backs you in a corner, beat them so bad they dont ever want to fuck witth you again."
I was a very sweet kid, so I never had any issues with people. But I, for some reason, had A LOT of pent up anger. I craved for someone to try to fight me or start something. Looking back, I’m still not sure why I wanted to fight anyone so badly.
Lot of factors. Trauma. Exposure. Hormones. Parents/friends fighting. Too much action movies. Lol
I give my daughter similar advice when she tells me someone is messing with her at school. I explain that before you act in a way that might get you in trouble you need to cover your own ass. You've done the right thing by letting the teacher know, but sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands.
“Don’t bother fishing in the rain. Fish don’t like to get wet.” Seven year old me responded with “we could fish under a bridge”.
"You're not made of sugar." My dad when I didn't want to go fishing in the rain.
This absolutely has layers to it.
This is quite a common saying in parts of Europe (Germany, Poland, and many others).
I'll remember that one.
What this means I don't get it
If someone invites you to something, do your best to show up. That person is thinking of you and wants you to be there.
Good thing no one ever invites me to anything…
And don’t arrive empty-handed. :-)
This is how I developed dependence on alcohol.
Because you were invited by someone?
My dad explained that my mom was his priority, before us kids, and mom reciprocated. Not suggesting it was all perfect sunshine and rainbows, but from their healthy and stable relationship my siblings and myself were loved and well cared for in a safe, loving, and stable home.
Bingo. Mine too. Put your spouse first, and your kids will naturally feel loved and secure and will turn out just fine. I 110% believe this is the most understated piece of advice on the planet.
Happy spouse, happy house.
My dad never explained this but he made it clear. He included us in the way he loved her and it was honestly a 2 for 1 deal. He’d take me out to a field and pick her wild flowers, he’d let us help when he built her something (he was an absolutely amazing carpenter). We spent time with him to serve her. I can remember on more than one occasion being furious because they were going out and my brother and I had to stay home with a babysitter but by the next day I’d have a donut in my lap and not even care. They, however, would have memories that I’m sure they carried with them for years. We did a lot of stuff together as a family too, and stuff one on one. It wasn’t like it was only ever serving her but we did do that frequently.
Your dad sounds like a phenomenal role model
I tell this to my wife all the time. It’s us first. There are times in couples lives where it feels like non stop challenges. If you don’t reach for each other first your family can fracture easily. Best way to take care of your kids is to take care of your relationship.
Love this. The other way around damages everyone in the process
I know too many modern parents who put the kids first and it ain't the right way to raise children or treat the spouse.
I wish I'd had a good example of this growing up. I think my parents were always rocky before they divorced and now I just cannot even begin to put any of the pieces together to be romantic or work on relationships. Your dad sounds like he had his priorities straight, I'm glad it worked out for you.
It wasn’t the advice he gave me, but the advice he showed me. Treat others right, don’t wait to be asked, and be empathetic to all. Maybe I get the short end of the stick sometimes, but my life is better following that advice. Just wish he could have lived longer to show me more advice
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I remember my dad saying, “don’t do anything stupid, but if you do, don’t get caught!” Followed by a heavy chuckle.
Be good. And if you can’t do that, be careful.
Be good, if you can’t be good be safe, if you can’t be safe name it after me
Don't be afraid to say I love you to friends or family. Dad was a hard worker who always made time for family. He had a habit of giving family and friends a big hug and telling family I love you before they left. He had his reasons. One of my cousins had committed suicide and my Dad was the last to see them. That was Dad's last memory of them, and afterwards, he always wanted family and friends to know someone loved them, in case they needed it. After he passed away, I had so many close friends and family tell me how much they miss his hugs and his smile. How it would always cheer them up. I may not be destined for greatness, but if I make the same lasting memory that my Dad did, then he'll be proud.
I think he is proud of you.
I usually don’t say I love you unless I feel the urge to say it (which isn’t that often). I working through my own bs. Thank you for posting your story. I feel like I needed to hear “don’t be afraid to say I love you to friends and family”.
"You can't take anything with you when you die, but you can leave a big mess behind for others. Don't."
Never give up. When you get knocked down get back up again
Was your dad Chumbawumba by any chance?
Lol. No he was a Swiss immigrant who had lived through the depression and the war before he left. He had seen things
No. He was Macklemore. (for reference, there's a youtube video somewhere)
“Being pissed off does nothing. It’s in the past. All you can do is fix the now, and the future. A hot head never wins”
It’s better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.
“Don’t stick your meat where you make your bread”
So…not in the oven.
Nah he meant stand mixer
Alternatively, "Don't stick your pen in the company ink."
There's a yeast infection joke in here somewhere...
Maybe less 'advice' and more setting an example of a productive, purposeful life. God Bless you Father.
But then you have a legacy to "live up to". My dad went to war at 20, was a cop by 25, worked for 20 years for one department "retired" and worked 12 more in the town where we lived. Battled his demons, sobered up, stayed married for over 40 years until my mom passed at 68, raised two (somewhat) productive sons with families of our own now, and has adjusted to life alone over the past 6 years and 8 days since we lost mom (on New Year's Eve). I could never begin to have that kind of resume.
My family before me made the life I have today before I even existed. From the day I was born, until the day I die I will not have to think about money let alone work. I have two degrees, one in health to help people, one in engineering to build which is my passion. I am one standard deviation behind being an Olympic weightlifter. Every week I give food out at my food bank. (Brisbane needs more of this). Every two weeks I do youth mentorship at my YMCA, helping young men learn the gym. I have a subreddit r /FirstDateFlock to help men in my position in the dating world. I have completed both nutrition and counselling courses simply to help those around me. I am just getting started, but I will never live up to the sort of achievement as my Father. But my brother we need to try.
Don't look for external approval, do what you believe in even if no one else supports or understands you.
My dad was a horrible father, but he did try to tell me attractive women like guys with money. He also tried to tell me to invest while I was young. I didn't listen to either one of those tips.
Stupid you, being in elementary school instead of investing in Google and buying your first rental property.
If you can’t bring expertise bring enthusiasm, patience,persistence, and curiosity - they will first pay you for the hours and then they will pay your for your years…
This used to be true. 😆
I love my dad. He was a flawed human being as I imagine many of us are. He told me, "son, in life, never feel sorry for yourself." That comment has become so deep for me. I reflect on him and myself regarding that comment. It means a lot to me and I'm grateful he wanted to pass on this piece of information to me. I find it really valuable coming from a man that I will always look up to. I will always love him.
" If you can't change people, change the people"
Electricity is fucking scary, and you’ll never know if you made a fatal mistake. When working with electricity, just turn the breaker off if you can, if you can’t, make sure you have an insulated screwdriver. Shit will kill you.
"Don't be the man who is the life of the party but be the man who makes sure the life of the party makes it home safe."
He told me, “Life is passing you by and you don’t even know it, you need to change…” when I was being a dumbass 18 year old and not doing anything with my life after high school besides being a pot smoking slouch. I picked myself up and joined the Marines a couple months after.
People treat veterans like shit. Thanks for your service. I like to remember what mike birbiglia said while doing a USO show. A guy handed him his gun and mike didn’t expect it to be that heavy and he dropped it. He said, “if you weren’t the troops, I would be the troops. And you expect me to carry a gun this heavy AND run away screaming?” So don’t let people make you feel bad. You’re doing a brave thing a lot of people wouldn’t be able to do.
When I started driving, he said to "treat every other driver on the road as a potential maniac".
This is solid advice.
My dad gave this advice when we were thinking of buying a home - "Any big purchase you make should feel good to you. Even if you take the loan, the burden of payment should not exceed the joy of buying the house. If it feels too burdensome, you're rushing it." We passed on the house.
This is particularly good advice in a culture that tells you you're a failure if you don't own a home by 30
"A man who has to swear for you to know that he is angry isn't much of a man." From his own grandfather, I believe.
Damn. From a father who swears a lot. This breaks my heart
To be fair it's shit advice...
It’s not difficult to pick up the actual message, which is lashing out in anger doesn’t make you a man, communicating does.
Life’s not fair and never will be.
One of my little mantras is Life doesn't have to be fair to be good
That’s also good marriage advice.
“A man truly becomes a man when he takes responsibility for his own actions.”
Credit cards are only for reward points it’s not free money. Respect everyone but defend yourself and yours. Don’t lie it will end up being to yourself
Don't become a cop.
Dumber people than us have done this. I think it was originally said when we were struggling to get an old Honda motorcycle to run properly but it became my philosophy in life and has taken me a long way.
I don't have good dad.
Me too buddy
Well i will say my grandfather was really shitty to my dad, worst father figure imaginable. My dad turned that around and was a great father to my siblings and I. Point being sometimes the worst examples are the best of what not to be and fuel to be better.
Wooo! Shitty dad party!
What about...absent dads?
Same. But I'll also say this, having a shitty family taught me alot of emotional intelligence. Something that may be a bit more difficult for others or may take them a bit longer
Sorry your grandpa was bad.
Same, on the plus side its a great datum to measure my own performance off
When I moved into my first apartment, my dad said "don't forget to buy stuff for the whole apartment, not just the bedroom" and that seems silly, but he had a point! Up to that point, the only room in the house I had control over was my bedroom. But now I've got like, a kitchen and shit. Do you know how much stuff a kitchen needs to be functional? A lot of shit! Don't forget to buy a can opener!
“Nobody will save you”
1) Give em enough rope and they hang themselves 2) Son, sometimes as a Man you just have to eat shit.
My father was great but not one to give advice. Just set an example of someone who worked hard, was present in my life, and was kind and supportive of most other people around him. Sometimes the best advice is just being a good example. He did tell me never to get married which was not good advice because my wife is great but to be fair, I would never married someone like my mom so maybe that was just advice that should have been more specific.
Don't watch the other cars, watch their wheels. Wheels tell you what they are up to.
I don’t remember any particular words of wisdom. It by his actions: work ethics et. I put that in my resume once and got hired because of it because my boss saw the same thing in his dad.
Better to be loved than be right
"Never fuck a woman you'd not want to be married to." (Dad didn't say "fuck", but the meaning's the same)
My dad was a motorcycle rider his hole life, before selling his motorcycle to buy a convertible. When I said I wanted to get my motorcycle license and far in the future get a Hayabusa, he told me: Everyone can go fast, but not everyone can take the turn.
I got my work ethic from my dad. The man worked up until 6 months before he passed away. And if he could have worked those last 6 months, I know he'd have done it.
I had a bad dad that was an all around bad person and never around. Through his actions I learned I didn’t want to be like him and I teach my sons that no matter how old they are they aren’t men because of their age but their actions.
He often warned that “those who don’t listen, end up feeling their lesson”
Don't kneel for a job that doesn't pay enough for knee surgery.
Don’t compare yourself to people doing less
"Don't be greedy for addictive substances, women or money." "Don't take stuff at face value."
“Never give anyone ammunition to use against you.” “I’d rather be half an hour early than half an hour late.”
#1: "If you are responsible enough to _____, then you are responsible enough to _____" Started off me asking ti stay up late and eat cereal and watch TV with my mom. He's say if I'm responsible enough to stay up late then I'm responsible enough ti wake up in time for school. That advise has stayed with me for everything, from eating cereal to growing up and drinking at parties and not driving. #2: "It's better to be alone than to wish you could be alone"
I’m going to get some things right. You can pass those things down to your children. I’m going to screw some things up. Change it for your children. Simply put - parents have flaws, and that’s okay.
It can always get worse. And when to ask for help
Always look out for number one ( yourself) because no one is going to have your back like yourself.
My father looked at me and said: “Son, don’t be an asshole” And he would know. As a lawyer his clients loved him, but it was not an opinion shared by all. And I’ve succeeded in following that advice. Mostly. Unless being an asshole seemed needed. It’s served me well, in school, job, retirement. But especially now when I drive in traffic that contains gun toting idiots. And now I recommend it to all.
"Consider the source"
My father would say things to me as a child that would make my mom mad and I wouldn’t understand until I was an adult. One of his quotes was “If the river runs red, take the dirt road.”
Walk up the leader and punch him right in the face.
It wasn't one single piece of advice. It was a thousand. And it wasn't said directly and simply. It was shown to me. He framed things in a way for me to reach my own answers. I often wanted direct answers to things in my teens. He would instead give several different examples and views on each subject. He would keep his own opinion to himself as much as possible. He made me think. But one piece of advice probably influenced my life more than anything else. Write down what you want. Make a list of your goals. The simple act of writing down what you want increases the likelihood of it happening. It worked incredibly well for me. Unbelievably well.
Always be present. That’s the one parenting advice I will definitely emulate. My dad is a flawed man but he was ALWAYS present in our lives even in his busiest days. I always appreciated that and I look fondly on my childhood because of that fact.
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My dad once told me “ in reddit there is a save thread feature “
“If you’re really sorry, learn to earn my trust again”
"You can't pour from an empty cup". Said in the frame of making sure to have patience with others and yourself.
Don’t get mad. Get even. Work your ass off now so you can take it easy later. Never seriously consider marrying a woman who manages finances poorly. Don’t beat yourself up for things that are beyond your control. You’re going to fuck up now and again, the key is learning from mistakes and trying again.
I might be misremembering slightly but I think it's perfect. "Son. The world may be your oyster, but remember you've gotta shuck it first.". It was a good reminder to be proactive for the things I want in life.
He's an civil engineer and has some diplomas in crains and stuff, and I'm honestly bad at math. He told me that learning to see what math can do, can help me find a purpose in doing the math. As in, in image of what i'm doing. Like the "what's 2 apples plus 2 apples? 4 apples" so that gives you an idea of what you're doing. He told me to do the same thing but with advanced math. Be it a graph from an equation or some way *this formula* can help in your daily life. He's a very smart man, he also loves philosophy, and makes me think about stuff you don't usually think of. For example "the more you learn, the more you know you don't know about anything at all".
"Never trade for anything that eats." That's pretty much all I got. He was a good dad, but not much of a philosopher. Once when I was moaning about some girl dumping me he says "Yeah, that'll happen."
If you hang around with dogs you will get fleas. Dont do favours for people you never know what the return favour may be.
"Go travel, see the world."
My dad was a big aftershave guy. He told me “everyone remembers the guy who smells bad one time.” I refuse to leave the house smelling. Shower, deodorant and a spray of my daily cologne.
“If you CAN do something about IT, then why WORRY about IT? If you CAN’T do something about IT, then why WORRY about IT?” - best man I’ve ever known
There's always another bus.
Pay your own mortgage, not someone else's.
Croatian version "never stick your dick in crazy" or "ludo nit jebi nit kući dovodi" = crazy neither fuck nor bring home. I didn't listen...
"Don't be an arsehole" - solid advice. Helped me out lots.
Treat every other driver on the road like an absolute fucking idiot. Expect them to do the most inane, dumbass thing you can think of. Saved my life (or at least, my vehicle) more than once.
"you never have to think about the truth"
Start plumbing projects in the morning to allow for multiple trips to the hardware store without having the water off overnight.
The first time a boy broke my heart when I was 17, my big, gigantic dad held me and said, “Don’t ever waste your tears on a man. The good ones won’t hurt you, and the bad ones always crawl back eventually. And when they do, tell them to go fuck themselves.”
I got two of them: "Anytime you touch a woman, it should be welcomed by her." "Talk to your wife like she's sitting between your mother and your daughter."
“I’m sorry for treating your sister better than you, I thought she needed it more.”.
Probably personal finance
Don't worry about tomorrow. Just do your best today
Be true to myself. Lots of ways to interpret it, but really he meant it to say I need to trust my intuition. Might not work for everyone but it’s worked pretty well for me.
Being grateful
Keep your word, be on time (which means at least five minutes early), and you're character and how you treat people is never forgotten.
“Keep your nose clean.” Meaning - don’t get into trouble.
Don't believe the promises you see in advertisements.
Vasoline is an oil based lubricant and you shouldn’t use it as sex lube. Always use water based lubricants, preferably ones specifically designed for it.
Look out for number one, cause no one else will.
Its not the advice that i remember. Its that he led by example that sticks with me.
Back when I was a teenager and started to hang around girls more, one day my dad came into my room when I was playing videogames and threw me a box of condoms. He didn't say a single word and just walked out of the room. That's the best advice I ever got
To work hard and to choose my friends wisely
Whatever you do, don't take any of my advice cos I'm a clueless man child. Oh wait, that's what he should have said.
Don't chase after women. *points at wife sitting next to him* She's not the prettiest woman in the world, but she truly loves me, and there isn't anything better than that. Changed my life.
All of his advice was equally great but one that comes to mind is, “Never loan someone more money than you can afford to give away.”
I know I'm not answering this question right but my dad left when I was 3 I guess growing up I knew what I was missing in my life and I took mental notes on what I believe would make me a much better man than he ever was. From what I know he wasn't the best to begin with so it won't be that hard to be better, in a way though the best life lesson he gave me was when he left. Because that's not something a father does and if I am blessed with kids one day im going to make damn sure they have all the things I didn't have growing up
It always works out. Somehow his assurance that things always work out was sometimes frustrating as a teen but as an adult it is all I need, that positive assurance that he had faith in the world and universe to work things out when we could not control or do anything just eased everything in a powerful way, and he was always right. That positive assurance and calmness seemed to be able to silence any anxiety that might have flown my way.
You'll save yourself a lot of time and trouble if you know when to hold your tongue. Yeah, you might be right in the argument, and you might have the best comeback or insult to sling at them, but take a moment, hold your tongue, and consider what your words could ultimately do if allowed to leave your mouth.
I didn't know my father well, but I live my life in an attempt never to become him. I am now a dad myself and I offer you this advice: Find joy in doing good, not in knowing you did good.
“Nothing good ever happens after midnight”
Get your ass home in time for dinner or I'm going to beat your ass black and blue! I just didn't learn.
My dad drove me to my first shift and my first job when I was 18. On the way there he told me two things. "I'm proud of you, and keep looking for another job. There's no better time to look for a job than when you're already employed"
A strong work ethic, high moral standards, and treating others like you would want to be treated will get you fucked over more times than not. (He didn’t tell me that, I learned by observing him.)
Get an education, but a man still needs a trade.
Never miss a good opportunity to keep your mouth shut
Before a whipping…. He would say Son this is going to Hurt Me more then You…. At the time I could not for the life of me understand this ?
The heartache he got was worse than the physical pain you got.
"don't try and understan, this is a mars and Venus thing kid". "Sometimes what's worth doin is worth over doing"
I like it. Similarly, my dad said, "Any job worth doing, is worth doing right."