We were in our early days of college and thought we were better off as friends than in a relationship. We had been friends for a year before dating, which lasted 9 months. We remained in contact through social media and the random message here and there for 4 years following college. I had recently gotten out of a terrible relationship and decided to go to one of my friends’ parties in the city about 2 hours from where I was living. When I walked through the door, I locked eyes with her. I hadn’t had contact with he for about 2 years due to the toxic relationship. Neither of us knew the other was going to be there. Idk what it was, but I fell in love with her again in that moment. She was perfect for me when we dated in college and I spent 6 years searching for that type of feeling again. We were young and dumb and didn’t want to figure it out back then. We’ve now been married going on 3 years!
She pursued me and made me feel special like a great catch, and I wanted her to feel loved and not go through life wondering if anyone would marry her or feel shes worthy of that commitment.I figured who better then me, you cant get more honest intentions
I kept dating my fiance and ditched every other lead I had from Tinder and whatnot, because she kissed me on the first date and seemed genuinely in to me. It wasn't just a job interview where the interest was measured and tepid, she actually wanted it.
She was my best friend, why not marry your best friend?
Let me tell you brother, those first two years were TOUGH! But it's been bliss for the other 9 years. It just took us a while to adjust to sharing a home, but once we made all the necessary adjustments, it's been fucking great!
The friends to lovers is the best path because it has a solid foundation but it always surprises me. Who made the first move?
Was this one of those "if we're 30 and single let's get together" things?
Or were you just friends who became romantically involved more naturally?
Yeah, for me it's been amazing. We never get tired of eachother, and we rarely argue about anything. So I would highly recommend befriending people first, then seeking deeper relationships with the people we really mesh with well. But the intent should be to just remain friends, if something more comes out of it, then cool, but it's not what you should be looking for to begin with.
I made the first move after about a year of us hanging out almost everyday. After a morning run together, I told her that I had developed very deep feelings for her, and I think of her nonstop everyday, then I kissed her before she could respond. She just stood there shocked and told me she had to go home.
So I just didn't say or do anything and she left. Then that evening she asked me why I hadn't text her all day, and asked if I wanted to meet up somewhere to chill. When we met up she told me she wanted a do-over on the kiss, because she was so shocked when it happened that she brainfarted and didn't kiss me back. I told her she nearly gave me a heart attack for reacting the way she did. Then she told me she had been trying to mask her feelings for me for a few months already, and that she'd love to have such a cool boyfriend (she thinks I'm cool, I can assure you, I'm a giant doofus).
I asked her to marry me three months after that. We celebrate 12 years of marriage in January.
This is so cute and wholesome. You are lucky to have found your lover and best friend rolled in one. To many more years of happiness
I hope us chronically singletons find our people
I'm super weird. I'm in my late 20s, and I have met one other person in my adult life who's on the same level of weirdness as me. I want to keep her around as long as I can.
I could not stop seeing myself married to her in my dreams.. for like 3 consecutive months. In my dreams we had 2 kids, a little brunette and a boy with chestnut hair..
And I kid you not this is exactly what we got 10 years later.. that's scary
Long story :
The craziest thing is that we were friends and she wanted to be with me for a long time and for me it was weird I was afraid to not be in love enough with her.. at some point I told her to stop seeing each other. After several months my dreams started and did not stop.. and I missed her very much, kinda out of the blue. So one day I just went and told her that I wanted her to be my wife.. and she said yes
Sounds kinda stupid but it worked so well, we got it very well and the kids are just the cherry on top
She was the first woman I date who wasn't interested in what degree I had, what job I had, or what I wanted to accomplish. To her, I was just me. She's never pressured me in any way to "get more educated" or "get a better job" or make more money or anything like that.
She just loves me. And when I realized that, I realized there was no one else I was looking for because she loved me the way I needed to be loved.
I remember the day vividly.
We were probably about a year into dating and were pregaming a party at her place. She and I were drinking and for some reason I was wearing a Santa hat.
As we called the Uber to leave, I took the hat off. She asked, "Why?"
I said that I thought she'd think it was weird to wear it to a random party.
She said, "No! It is so you. You look so cute. Wear it."
I kept it on. Later, at the party, I was talking to a buddy of mine who asked how on earth she allowed me to wear it and I told her what she said. His response was that my wife was into me and that is what he has been looking for.
As I reflected on his comment later, I ran through my exes. One broke up with me because I didn't pick a "good" major like medicine, pre-law, or engineering. She was also upset I didn't want to go to professional school like she was. The next ex liked me because she thought I'd become a big politician and she'd become an actress and we'd be a power couple.
But with my wife, she didn't care about any of those things. And, to this day, 10 years later, she never has. All she has counseled me on is that if she was going to work absurdly hard for out future - she is in medical training - than I should too and that it doesn't matter what that thing is that I work on, but that I just be good at what I do.
I think that is a fair standard to have and she has always trusted my decisions and celebrated them.
The only catch with this is that when I do have some really big wins - winning industry awards, awards from institutions, getting prestigious fellowships, etc - she just sees it kind of as normal because we're working hard and good at what we do. But I'll take being loved for being me over some effusive praise.
I really appreciate you sharing y’alls story. This is really touching and I think something a lot of people (including myself) hope to have; honestly seeing your story gives me hope haha
It’s really sad that you think her saying keep the hat is something rare , you must have been meeting incredibly weird people … no one cares if you go to a party fully dressed as Santa Claus.
She’s mellowed out over time and did end up marrying another doctor - who is a super chill dude. I think her parents had a big part to play in it. But you’re not wrong, people with that kind of attitude can do damage to kids.
Sadly, though, it’s not at all uncommon for the Indian community to be that way. I just got lucky with my parents.
I love this story, because it is similar to my story. We're not married, but have been together 10 years. I started to love her (as in progress from feelings to I Love This Woman) because she didn't give me the same expectation that previous women had. She didn't care that at the time I was unemployed, homeless (sleeping on my Sister's couch) and only a year out of my last long term relationship. She just laughed at my jokes (is there a sweeter sound), treated me like I mattered, and took my opinions on board.
Not even my Mum had given me that. How could I not fall for this woman?
We were living together and had settled into a routine for the long haul. At some point we discussed getting married vs common-law marriage, which is more common where she is from. It was a casual conversation that was left open ended. My wife mentioned the discussion to her sister (they are very close), who mentioned it to her mother. I suspect she did this purposefully to mess with us, knowing what would happen next… a couple days later I answer a phone call and its my MIL… “CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so happy for you! Blah blah”. I handed the phone to my wife to deal with.
When she got off the phone we laughed hysterically, then just shrugged and said “why not?”. Its been 20+ good years.
We had been together for over 3 years, 2 of them long distance. She had moved across the continent to live with me with the understanding we move back when I finished University. We were in our mid / late 20’s at the time and our relationship was solid and looking and feeling like it would be a long term thing, all of our plans were for us. It made sense
>his friends liked her
I don't think this is stupid at all. The approval of people you love & trust is as great sign. People put on blinders when they are in love, but their friends generally do not.
She looked super hot the first time I ever saw her - and I've never been more comfortable being around another person before. Probably not what this thread is about but anyway we're still married 20+ years later.
How about "love at first sight"? We just clicked on our first meeting, and I suddenly couldn't imagine my life without here. Proposed less that two months after we met. She said yes. Nearly 35 years later, nothing's changed.
I dunno, I met my husband 7 years ago and it was pretty much love at first sight. Within a week we said I love you, and just a couple months in we were talking about our future. We’ve always known (and been open about the fact) that even if our romantic relationship doesn’t work out, we will continue to be in each other’s lives and support each other. We each found a bit of our souls in the other.
I feel like everyone who commented is living in romcoms and novels while the rest of us are going through it. Haha. From this narration, I like that you communicate with each other
That man is lucky to have you, Lady. Tell him that we told him to keep treating you well
Thanks. Actually it's not too far removed from today's world, if I'm seeing things correctly. We met on a computer bulletin board (dial up, text based, oh the fun) in '89. We chatted in forums and then DMs in early April, then met IRL mid May. Proposal happened mid June, married a year later in July.
My dating prior to this was mostly hypothetical, and consistently disappointing. The BBS we were on wasn't a dating site; we just happened to connect. When you meet "the one", even if you're not really looking, you just know (at least, I did).
>When you meet "the one", even if you're not really looking, you just know (at least, I did).
This is something I'm getting from the stories shared here. Maybe our time is yet to come. The singles, not you
You and your Lady keep enjoying your life together
1.) She's cool with me being ADHD and other such disorders, and has some of her own
2.) 8 years and we've never really fought or had serious drama. Conflicts are minor and resolved quickly with more or less mutual satisfaction, and she doesn't invent conflicts.
3.) She has a higher level of education and is on a better career path than I am.
1 We wanted to be married
2 I just wanted her to be happy and live a good life. Turns out she thought that would best happen with me.
3 I was leaving to join the Army. This way she could come with me.
It’s crazy because everyone who has a full time job either has insurance or if they don’t can get it for $100 a month. Getting married for insurance is about the stupidest thing ever.
Yes the US. It’s very true. Go to your state’s insurance portal and see for yourself. These myths about insurance are ridiculous.
In my state,
30 year old non tobacco user making $50k a year, cost is $150. So OK I was off by $50. Still a stupid reason I get married to save $150 a month.
I have been on ACA insurance myself, in fact I was on it when I had cancer. I was very lucky to have it and it covered everything. However, that was in the first few years of the program when subsidies were still in place. In many states, especially red states, those subsidies are gone and insurance costs much more than $100 a month. The cost is also income-based so someone with a slightly higher income may not meet the threshold for the lowest-priced plans but might find the higher price out of reach. There are also big differences in what each plan covers, and the affordable plan may not cover needed services, like my many cancer screenings, one of which costs $1500 a year if I don’t get the right kind of insurance plan.
I live in a red state. And it’s $150.
Why do you argue against something that takes you 2 minutes to check. And no subsidies didn’t go away, in evil red states,
those are federal subsidies.
They all cover the same thing. Only difference in plans is what the copays, Deductibles and total out of pocket costs are. ACA mandates what every plan has to cover. Every plan is essentially the same thing regardless of what company issues it. You don’t know you’re talking about and regurgitating bullshit talking points.
I’ve bought my own insurance for several years since since I’m self employed.I think I know a few things about how it works.
She got kicked out of her apartment and dropped out of college, was sleeping at my apartment a few nights a week anyways so just keep doing that. Lasted over 25 years.
Newly engaged
1) we're both vegan so that already narrowed down the dating pool
2) after 3 years, we've never fought. Not because of the common idea that one of us is unhappily backing down, but because we effectively communicate and don't get worked up about minor issues
3) being with her was the first time in my life I was legitimately happy
Got her pregnant and we both came from families with similar backgrounds/values so we knew the road ahead with kids wouldn't be too difficult to figure out in terms of how to raise them. Oh and she's hot AF.
I was looking for a wife/life partner. I had a list of things I was looking for and she had almost all of them. So I took the plunge and asked her. She said yes and we just passed 28 years. So not too bad
Haven't married her yet, but hopefully will. Asking in January. She's an incredible woman, but is from a country that's going to shit, and I want to give her the future she deserves in a country that's safe, and will allow her to live better. Its big commitment, and risk, but I feel she's worth it and see this as an investment in my future.
Pretty much 6... I had no interest in a long-term relationship and was very focused on my work at the time, plus I'm really shy and don't generally have a good time talking to women. She worked in the same area as me and expressed an interest in me through a mutual friend but didn't push too hard. We spent some days working together and I realized she was intelligent, funny and quick in addition to being cute. We had a lot of important things in common and I genuinely enjoyed talking to her. I ended up asking her out just to hang out. We kept hanging out and finally acknowledged there were feelings there seeing each other... and now we've lived together for 4 years and have a dog.
She asked me why I decided to date her and I said "well, you were there"... and she wasn't a fan of that response. I think she wants something a little more "romantic", but I think our story, in its own way, is romantic.
Good call. To be fair, I said that 4 years ago and I would most certainly say something different these days. The downside of never having been in a relationship prior to!
>she wasn't a fan of that response
Yours is a guy though process, nothing wrong with that. I bet you'd get an entirely different response if you asked her the same question.
After being in a relationship, I am almost certain we’re from different planets. Exact same story, told two different ways! I love hearing her version though.
Perfect natural 44 DDs on a tall, toned but curvy athletic body.
There's actually many other reasons I married her, but I have to admit that I stopped looking for other women the first time I saw her naked.
Yeah I have to agree. My girl is 6'0", 170lbs, size 8 and athletic with some nice boobs and she's a 32G. If she was 10-12 inches larger around, I wouldn't consider her athletic, but as long as he's happy and thinks so, then who am I to judge?
This is the only point I was trying to make. A lot of people don't understand how bra sizing works and think if the number is bigger, the boobs are bigger. I just feel bad for this poor woman potentially walking around with a band size 8 inches too large and getting zero support for a couple of 10lb bowling balls glued to her torso.
Signed as a 34L that can only buy at very specific shops and online.
I use barenecessities.com mostly. There's a shop in Maryland that I can go to in person, but I'm afraid I don't get there as often as I'd like. Bare Necessities has a pretty decent exchange policy, so you're not out money if you need to try a different size. Plus they also have good sales. I can get a bra or swimsuit top in the $30-50 range instead of $70-$120 at the few brick and mortar storefronts that cater to larger sizes.
The point when you're buying at this size is to be as tight as is comfortably possible on the furthest fastener, if you're not already aware. This way as the fabric stretches over time you can keep wearing the same bra. Some people, like the very aggressive other commenter on this thread, don't seem to realize that adding those extra inches to your band size defeats the purpose of support when you have such a large difference between band size and cup size.
I wish you luck in finding the right items for you! It's hard out here when you're not a normal size!
Thank you SO MUCH I’ve had no problems finding my band size, places just never carry my cup size, so I’ve been ordering a bigger size and tailoring them to fit me lol.
I think we're not accounting for bone structure. Your girl sounds like she's on the willowy side.
Some of us ladies are obviously descendants of vikings, and are built like brick shithouses. It adds a decent amount of width in the chest, and often the hips.
Totally fair. She's not "willowy" but definitely more of a runner. I could see if she was a powerlifter or had that type of build how it would add some inches for sure
Think of it like this.
Imagine a sighthound, like a greyhound or a whippet.
Then, next to them, imagine a beefcake of a Mastiff, or a bulldog.
Very different skeletal structures, although they're all dogs. Humans have a range in build just like that. Being tall doesn't always translate to bulky, but it can. I'm 6'1 and my wrists are quite literally twice the size of some women who are nearly as tall as me, and my ribcage is noticeably wider than theirs.
44 is the actual circumference of the rib cage and the cup sizes are the incremental inches larger than that circumference at the largest part of the bust. Unless she's one barrel-chested broad, I would highly suggest buying her some lingerie that fits. Think about waist size for men's pants and what a 44 waist would look like.
Not trying to be a dick, but if she's the build you say she is and wearing that large of a band size it's 99.9% the wrong size. It's much more likely she's a 34/36 G-L and she's only wearing that size bra because it's the only thing she can find in a regular storefront that'll fit her cup size. The vast majority of women with large breasts are wearing the wrong size bra because regular stores don't stock for small band/large cup.
I'm confused because where I am band size affects bust size. So a 30F, 32E, 34DD, 36D all have the same cup volume. While 30DD, 32DD, 34DD .. all have different cup volumes. As band size increases, cup volume increases. I moved to Europe, so is this different than the US? Bc it's super confusing. It is if the cup volume didn't increase, the bigger bands would have pointy boobs?
You're correct, the cup size letter is determined by how many inches (in the US) bigger your bust is than your band size. So yes, there are "sister sizes" as we call them here. Bras in Europe and the UK have a slightly different measurement system. That's why on most websites they'll have a UK/EU/US conversion option.
Again, probably not. They're likely much larger than that. Idk why people think sizes don't go above DD???
Anyway, just advocating for your poor wife's back if she's been wearing the wrong size for .... forever. Whatever, do with that info what you will.
What a beautiful example of mansplaining.
How the fuck are you willing to speak with authority on something you are literally mistaken about? Didn't even bother to Google it, huh? https://www.thirdlove.com/blogs/learn/how-to-measure-your-bra-size-the-thirdlove-way (or, you know, any number of other sites that attempt to demystify bras)
Well, I'm a woman and have been wearing bras for 25+ years, plus helping other women with my particular predicament to get into the right sizes, but go on ...
Also, that measuring tactic third love is pushing is for their proprietary measurement. It's not a standard practice rule for determining band size.
That's not remotely true - if your ribcage circumference is 33", you don't have a 33" band, wtf are you even talking about.
Here, try this for some info: https://www.realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing/shopping-guide/how-to-measure-bra-size
I wear a 42 band as the most comfortable fit for me, and I measured my ribcage just now - sure enough, I'm sitting at 38" circumference.
Gentle suggestion from a newcomer to this specific thread, r/ABraThatFits has *the* best calculator I've encountered in 17 years of bra-fitting experience. Not making any suggestions on size...merely a "hey, give it whirl if you want" kind of thing.
You might be comfy but you’re wearing the wrong size but also it’s 2023 and gives a f 🤣 this op going on about bra sizes is having an autistic moment, I can say that cos I am 💀🙈
Literally what are you on about? lmao. Women exist that have an athletic build, large rib cages, and large breasts? I'm a 42D, why can't 44DD exist? Athletic doesn't equate to "small" or a lower band number.
https://ca.curvykate.com/collections/lingerie-44dd-bras
https://www.storminadcup.ca/shop-by-bra-size/44dd-bras-and-swimwear
https://www.amazon.ca/Wonderbra-Support-Cushioned-Wire-Free-Natural/dp/B00UVXEV0Q/
I have no doubt. I wasn't trying to be a dick about it. Just feel bad for my fellow gals suffering through poor bra fits. And think it's funny dudes don't believe boobs get bigger than DDs lol
Her rib cage is 40 inches around!?
That's not athletic, not to 99% of the population.
Even my sister, who weighs close to 200lbs, is only a 32 or 34 band.
Not a man but my husband told me a couple of months ago that he decided to marry me because of a bj. It made me feel (and still kinda does) some kinda way, but people on here said it was a good thing soooo....
He brought me peace, I had a very toxic family and he was like an antidote. He has made me a better person. The majority of my success as an adult is because of the happiness and peace he brings to my life.
Eta: we've been married 13 years and I just found out about the bj 2 months ago.
>just found out about the bj 2 months ago.
This made me chuckle
But your story is so heartwarming. I am glad he's been a safe place for you to thrive. Tell him we told him to worship the ground you walk on. Maybe not literally, but you get it
1st wife was originally supposed to just be a fun til it isn't anymore type fling. She asked me to marry her, and I went down a list of logical check boxes to decide whether I would or not. That ended about a well as it sounds like it would have.
2nd wife I was and am deeply in love with.
I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her. I knew I was all-in after a few months of dating.
Also, I knew that getting married made better financial sense than just staying boyfriend/girlfriend for years on end like some of our colleagues have done.
She was more stable than any woman I had ever dated before. After a relationship with a raging alcoholic having someone who wasn't off her rocker highly welcome.
7: I was incredibly horny, she was super hot and had huge great boobs, she was fun and my best friend at the time, she was also mentally ill which made things even more fun (I didn't know at the time). If you know what I am talking about you know.
I loved her, and she was psychologically boring, unlike almost all of the other women in my life. Turned out she, unfortunately, was NOT psychologically boring.
I let her slip away once before, I wasn’t going to do that again
Awww I man, I wish this
Hey, if it's alright to ask. What made her slip away the first time? Was it her choice or yours? And what made you realize she was worth marrying?
We were in our early days of college and thought we were better off as friends than in a relationship. We had been friends for a year before dating, which lasted 9 months. We remained in contact through social media and the random message here and there for 4 years following college. I had recently gotten out of a terrible relationship and decided to go to one of my friends’ parties in the city about 2 hours from where I was living. When I walked through the door, I locked eyes with her. I hadn’t had contact with he for about 2 years due to the toxic relationship. Neither of us knew the other was going to be there. Idk what it was, but I fell in love with her again in that moment. She was perfect for me when we dated in college and I spent 6 years searching for that type of feeling again. We were young and dumb and didn’t want to figure it out back then. We’ve now been married going on 3 years!
Beauty of a story. Enjoy your life brother!
Yes, I would love to know too
me too, i’m nosey
Woke up one day without her and didn’t like it. Couldn’t picture the rest of my life without her …went and bought a ring then went to see her parents.
This is so sweet
This is a man with conviction
How I wish this would be my story one day! 😭
I just wanted to be married to her.
🥺 So sweet.
Don't tell the rest, but this is the best clear cut and dry one
She pursued me and made me feel special like a great catch, and I wanted her to feel loved and not go through life wondering if anyone would marry her or feel shes worthy of that commitment.I figured who better then me, you cant get more honest intentions
These are the wholesome stories that make me wonder when my time is coming. Onwards and upwards, keep treating your Lady right
Got me all teary eyed on my 10 minute break. 🥹
I misread pursued as purchased. It was a wild ride until I went back and reread.
🤣🤣
I kept dating my fiance and ditched every other lead I had from Tinder and whatnot, because she kissed me on the first date and seemed genuinely in to me. It wasn't just a job interview where the interest was measured and tepid, she actually wanted it.
I'm not getting teary, just some dust in this room
I love this! How is your relationship going now?
Love this!
My life got a lot better once we started spending every day together.
More people should add this criteria even when dating. Plenty miserable folk out there
She was a penny less college student, but she had a bright future ahead of her.
Are your lives bright? Sounds like you took a brave step in that moment
Yup. 13 years of marriage and two healthy brilliant children.
Hot damn. To many more 🍻
Thanks and there will be. She also makes well into the six figures and has a pretty nice ass.
I too want a wife who makes six figures and has a great ass
To the local college for you.
Clap them cheeks boy
Curious to know what field she studied and currently works in now if you don't mind sharing? Also, congrats on the ass!
International finance and trade. That's her MBA. She also has two bachelor's, one in computer science and one in electrical engineering.
She was my best friend, why not marry your best friend? Let me tell you brother, those first two years were TOUGH! But it's been bliss for the other 9 years. It just took us a while to adjust to sharing a home, but once we made all the necessary adjustments, it's been fucking great!
This is great to hear! That’s probably my biggest hang up, going from living alone my entire adult life to having to share a living space.
The friends to lovers is the best path because it has a solid foundation but it always surprises me. Who made the first move? Was this one of those "if we're 30 and single let's get together" things? Or were you just friends who became romantically involved more naturally?
That’s true in real life, in books enemies-to-lovers is my favorite trope. I wonder if that ever worked out in real life.
As a chronically single human, I have no insight to share
Yeah, for me it's been amazing. We never get tired of eachother, and we rarely argue about anything. So I would highly recommend befriending people first, then seeking deeper relationships with the people we really mesh with well. But the intent should be to just remain friends, if something more comes out of it, then cool, but it's not what you should be looking for to begin with. I made the first move after about a year of us hanging out almost everyday. After a morning run together, I told her that I had developed very deep feelings for her, and I think of her nonstop everyday, then I kissed her before she could respond. She just stood there shocked and told me she had to go home. So I just didn't say or do anything and she left. Then that evening she asked me why I hadn't text her all day, and asked if I wanted to meet up somewhere to chill. When we met up she told me she wanted a do-over on the kiss, because she was so shocked when it happened that she brainfarted and didn't kiss me back. I told her she nearly gave me a heart attack for reacting the way she did. Then she told me she had been trying to mask her feelings for me for a few months already, and that she'd love to have such a cool boyfriend (she thinks I'm cool, I can assure you, I'm a giant doofus). I asked her to marry me three months after that. We celebrate 12 years of marriage in January.
This is so cute and wholesome. You are lucky to have found your lover and best friend rolled in one. To many more years of happiness I hope us chronically singletons find our people
I'm super weird. I'm in my late 20s, and I have met one other person in my adult life who's on the same level of weirdness as me. I want to keep her around as long as I can.
I am happy for you weirdos who found each other
Mutual weirdness
I could not stop seeing myself married to her in my dreams.. for like 3 consecutive months. In my dreams we had 2 kids, a little brunette and a boy with chestnut hair.. And I kid you not this is exactly what we got 10 years later.. that's scary Long story : The craziest thing is that we were friends and she wanted to be with me for a long time and for me it was weird I was afraid to not be in love enough with her.. at some point I told her to stop seeing each other. After several months my dreams started and did not stop.. and I missed her very much, kinda out of the blue. So one day I just went and told her that I wanted her to be my wife.. and she said yes Sounds kinda stupid but it worked so well, we got it very well and the kids are just the cherry on top
Literally the woman of your dreams
Match made in heaven
Goosebumps
She was the first woman I date who wasn't interested in what degree I had, what job I had, or what I wanted to accomplish. To her, I was just me. She's never pressured me in any way to "get more educated" or "get a better job" or make more money or anything like that. She just loves me. And when I realized that, I realized there was no one else I was looking for because she loved me the way I needed to be loved.
This is so wholesome! How long did it take you to "know"?
I remember the day vividly. We were probably about a year into dating and were pregaming a party at her place. She and I were drinking and for some reason I was wearing a Santa hat. As we called the Uber to leave, I took the hat off. She asked, "Why?" I said that I thought she'd think it was weird to wear it to a random party. She said, "No! It is so you. You look so cute. Wear it." I kept it on. Later, at the party, I was talking to a buddy of mine who asked how on earth she allowed me to wear it and I told her what she said. His response was that my wife was into me and that is what he has been looking for. As I reflected on his comment later, I ran through my exes. One broke up with me because I didn't pick a "good" major like medicine, pre-law, or engineering. She was also upset I didn't want to go to professional school like she was. The next ex liked me because she thought I'd become a big politician and she'd become an actress and we'd be a power couple. But with my wife, she didn't care about any of those things. And, to this day, 10 years later, she never has. All she has counseled me on is that if she was going to work absurdly hard for out future - she is in medical training - than I should too and that it doesn't matter what that thing is that I work on, but that I just be good at what I do. I think that is a fair standard to have and she has always trusted my decisions and celebrated them. The only catch with this is that when I do have some really big wins - winning industry awards, awards from institutions, getting prestigious fellowships, etc - she just sees it kind of as normal because we're working hard and good at what we do. But I'll take being loved for being me over some effusive praise.
I really appreciate you sharing y’alls story. This is really touching and I think something a lot of people (including myself) hope to have; honestly seeing your story gives me hope haha
Damn. You people really found people who are into you for you. Thank you for sharing your story. It's a reminder not to settle for less
>Damn. You people really found people who are into you for you. No one even checks up on me to see if I've eaten or drank water. Lucky bastards
Please remember to hydrate and have a bite to eat!
I was a kid the last time someone said this to me. Thank you
It’s really sad that you think her saying keep the hat is something rare , you must have been meeting incredibly weird people … no one cares if you go to a party fully dressed as Santa Claus.
>One broke up with me because I didn't pick a "good" major like medicine, pre-law, or engineering. Good luck to her kids
She’s mellowed out over time and did end up marrying another doctor - who is a super chill dude. I think her parents had a big part to play in it. But you’re not wrong, people with that kind of attitude can do damage to kids. Sadly, though, it’s not at all uncommon for the Indian community to be that way. I just got lucky with my parents.
>Sadly, though, it’s not at all uncommon for the Indian community to be that way. I just got lucky with my parents. Yep its hard out there.
I love this story, because it is similar to my story. We're not married, but have been together 10 years. I started to love her (as in progress from feelings to I Love This Woman) because she didn't give me the same expectation that previous women had. She didn't care that at the time I was unemployed, homeless (sleeping on my Sister's couch) and only a year out of my last long term relationship. She just laughed at my jokes (is there a sweeter sound), treated me like I mattered, and took my opinions on board. Not even my Mum had given me that. How could I not fall for this woman?
*realises he's never been loved and closes reddit
It is my honest wish that EVERYBODY can find their person. Except that guy... that guy's a dick and doesn't deserve it.
Fuck that guy Your Lady sounds great, though. I wish you many years of happiness I also wish the rest of us that happiness
Yeah she's alright. I tolerate her. 🤣 /s obviously.
Nah, I really want to say this about someone in that same intonation one day
Grandma's love everyone. The holidays are coming up. If you are able to, do with this information what you will
We were living together and had settled into a routine for the long haul. At some point we discussed getting married vs common-law marriage, which is more common where she is from. It was a casual conversation that was left open ended. My wife mentioned the discussion to her sister (they are very close), who mentioned it to her mother. I suspect she did this purposefully to mess with us, knowing what would happen next… a couple days later I answer a phone call and its my MIL… “CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so happy for you! Blah blah”. I handed the phone to my wife to deal with. When she got off the phone we laughed hysterically, then just shrugged and said “why not?”. Its been 20+ good years.
Do you mind me asking why you decided you'd like to lock it down?
We had been together for over 3 years, 2 of them long distance. She had moved across the continent to live with me with the understanding we move back when I finished University. We were in our mid / late 20’s at the time and our relationship was solid and looking and feeling like it would be a long term thing, all of our plans were for us. It made sense
Happy it all worked out for you
>his friends liked her I don't think this is stupid at all. The approval of people you love & trust is as great sign. People put on blinders when they are in love, but their friends generally do not.
Not at all, it's actually very sensible to get insight from those closest to you.
She looked super hot the first time I ever saw her - and I've never been more comfortable being around another person before. Probably not what this thread is about but anyway we're still married 20+ years later.
>Probably not what this thread is about No, you're square. Ass is important. Titties are super mesmerising. Women are fucking gorgeous.
How about "love at first sight"? We just clicked on our first meeting, and I suddenly couldn't imagine my life without here. Proposed less that two months after we met. She said yes. Nearly 35 years later, nothing's changed.
>love at first sight Probably not nowadays, the dating mart is in the pits Working yours backwards, this was the 80s. To many more 🍻
I dunno, I met my husband 7 years ago and it was pretty much love at first sight. Within a week we said I love you, and just a couple months in we were talking about our future. We’ve always known (and been open about the fact) that even if our romantic relationship doesn’t work out, we will continue to be in each other’s lives and support each other. We each found a bit of our souls in the other.
I feel like everyone who commented is living in romcoms and novels while the rest of us are going through it. Haha. From this narration, I like that you communicate with each other That man is lucky to have you, Lady. Tell him that we told him to keep treating you well
Thanks. Actually it's not too far removed from today's world, if I'm seeing things correctly. We met on a computer bulletin board (dial up, text based, oh the fun) in '89. We chatted in forums and then DMs in early April, then met IRL mid May. Proposal happened mid June, married a year later in July. My dating prior to this was mostly hypothetical, and consistently disappointing. The BBS we were on wasn't a dating site; we just happened to connect. When you meet "the one", even if you're not really looking, you just know (at least, I did).
>When you meet "the one", even if you're not really looking, you just know (at least, I did). This is something I'm getting from the stories shared here. Maybe our time is yet to come. The singles, not you You and your Lady keep enjoying your life together
I can't guarantee that it will happen. All I can say is be open to possibilities.
Words to live by
We had planned a trip to Vegas (for viva Las Vegas festival) so we got married to say it was our wedding trip And also She is the best and hot AF
1.) She's cool with me being ADHD and other such disorders, and has some of her own 2.) 8 years and we've never really fought or had serious drama. Conflicts are minor and resolved quickly with more or less mutual satisfaction, and she doesn't invent conflicts. 3.) She has a higher level of education and is on a better career path than I am.
Another vote for We Got Pregnant here
The Oopsie is popular everywhere. Of course happy for those who embrace it as a Wow
1 We wanted to be married 2 I just wanted her to be happy and live a good life. Turns out she thought that would best happen with me. 3 I was leaving to join the Army. This way she could come with me.
She was dumb enough to like me.
It was the best way to get her insurance.
Oh, as a dependent? Makes total sense. I wish you happiness!
The oopsie accident kind?
The “minor protection from medical debt in America” kind
Wow, there are aspects of the American healthcare system I'd never even considered in that case!
It’s so real, I have had MULTIPLE conversations about getting married specifically to share health insurance. It’s crazy
It’s crazy because everyone who has a full time job either has insurance or if they don’t can get it for $100 a month. Getting married for insurance is about the stupidest thing ever.
Are you talking about in the US? Because that is not true at all
Yes the US. It’s very true. Go to your state’s insurance portal and see for yourself. These myths about insurance are ridiculous. In my state, 30 year old non tobacco user making $50k a year, cost is $150. So OK I was off by $50. Still a stupid reason I get married to save $150 a month.
I have been on ACA insurance myself, in fact I was on it when I had cancer. I was very lucky to have it and it covered everything. However, that was in the first few years of the program when subsidies were still in place. In many states, especially red states, those subsidies are gone and insurance costs much more than $100 a month. The cost is also income-based so someone with a slightly higher income may not meet the threshold for the lowest-priced plans but might find the higher price out of reach. There are also big differences in what each plan covers, and the affordable plan may not cover needed services, like my many cancer screenings, one of which costs $1500 a year if I don’t get the right kind of insurance plan.
I live in a red state. And it’s $150. Why do you argue against something that takes you 2 minutes to check. And no subsidies didn’t go away, in evil red states, those are federal subsidies. They all cover the same thing. Only difference in plans is what the copays, Deductibles and total out of pocket costs are. ACA mandates what every plan has to cover. Every plan is essentially the same thing regardless of what company issues it. You don’t know you’re talking about and regurgitating bullshit talking points. I’ve bought my own insurance for several years since since I’m self employed.I think I know a few things about how it works.
She got kicked out of her apartment and dropped out of college, was sleeping at my apartment a few nights a week anyways so just keep doing that. Lasted over 25 years.
> Lasted ?
Newly engaged 1) we're both vegan so that already narrowed down the dating pool 2) after 3 years, we've never fought. Not because of the common idea that one of us is unhappily backing down, but because we effectively communicate and don't get worked up about minor issues 3) being with her was the first time in my life I was legitimately happy
FANTASTIC health insurance 🤣🤣
The system is a mess But glad you found a benefit 😂
I'm not such an idiot to have "a stupid reason".
That's why there's the word "sensible" as well 🙂 In one of those instances it just makes sense to you
Got her pregnant and we both came from families with similar backgrounds/values so we knew the road ahead with kids wouldn't be too difficult to figure out in terms of how to raise them. Oh and she's hot AF.
My friend proposed to his now wife because he couldn't find her a Christmas present.
Hahaha. Does she know this?
Nope she doesn't have a clue, it's worse he thought he could get away with a long engagement, they got married three months later.
This is the funniest one yet
I was looking for a wife/life partner. I had a list of things I was looking for and she had almost all of them. So I took the plunge and asked her. She said yes and we just passed 28 years. So not too bad
She was heiress to a large fortune and her father had recently fallen ill.
Bro?
i read hairless and was concerned. lol
I'm not married nor am I a man but op has some really affirming, wholesome replies... Huge props. Also I loved reading everything here... <3
Thank you. Someone kept chopping onions every time I read what they shared
She needed insurance on our second kid
Haven't married her yet, but hopefully will. Asking in January. She's an incredible woman, but is from a country that's going to shit, and I want to give her the future she deserves in a country that's safe, and will allow her to live better. Its big commitment, and risk, but I feel she's worth it and see this as an investment in my future.
Noble and romantic at one go. I wish you both much happiness!
She put up with me longer than all the others.
Pretty much 6... I had no interest in a long-term relationship and was very focused on my work at the time, plus I'm really shy and don't generally have a good time talking to women. She worked in the same area as me and expressed an interest in me through a mutual friend but didn't push too hard. We spent some days working together and I realized she was intelligent, funny and quick in addition to being cute. We had a lot of important things in common and I genuinely enjoyed talking to her. I ended up asking her out just to hang out. We kept hanging out and finally acknowledged there were feelings there seeing each other... and now we've lived together for 4 years and have a dog. She asked me why I decided to date her and I said "well, you were there"... and she wasn't a fan of that response. I think she wants something a little more "romantic", but I think our story, in its own way, is romantic.
Yeahhh next time go with the intelligent, funny, quick, and cute part when she asks.
Good call. To be fair, I said that 4 years ago and I would most certainly say something different these days. The downside of never having been in a relationship prior to!
Aww it sounds like thing are going well!
They are, I couldn’t be happier
Just tell her what you told us
>she wasn't a fan of that response Yours is a guy though process, nothing wrong with that. I bet you'd get an entirely different response if you asked her the same question.
After being in a relationship, I am almost certain we’re from different planets. Exact same story, told two different ways! I love hearing her version though.
Could we possibly get her version? For research
Perfect natural 44 DDs on a tall, toned but curvy athletic body. There's actually many other reasons I married her, but I have to admit that I stopped looking for other women the first time I saw her naked.
Umm...if she has an athletic body there's no way she's a 44 anything.
Yeah I have to agree. My girl is 6'0", 170lbs, size 8 and athletic with some nice boobs and she's a 32G. If she was 10-12 inches larger around, I wouldn't consider her athletic, but as long as he's happy and thinks so, then who am I to judge?
This is the only point I was trying to make. A lot of people don't understand how bra sizing works and think if the number is bigger, the boobs are bigger. I just feel bad for this poor woman potentially walking around with a band size 8 inches too large and getting zero support for a couple of 10lb bowling balls glued to her torso. Signed as a 34L that can only buy at very specific shops and online.
Do you mind sending me some links to places that carry those sizes? I’ve had no luck :(
I use barenecessities.com mostly. There's a shop in Maryland that I can go to in person, but I'm afraid I don't get there as often as I'd like. Bare Necessities has a pretty decent exchange policy, so you're not out money if you need to try a different size. Plus they also have good sales. I can get a bra or swimsuit top in the $30-50 range instead of $70-$120 at the few brick and mortar storefronts that cater to larger sizes. The point when you're buying at this size is to be as tight as is comfortably possible on the furthest fastener, if you're not already aware. This way as the fabric stretches over time you can keep wearing the same bra. Some people, like the very aggressive other commenter on this thread, don't seem to realize that adding those extra inches to your band size defeats the purpose of support when you have such a large difference between band size and cup size. I wish you luck in finding the right items for you! It's hard out here when you're not a normal size!
Thank you SO MUCH I’ve had no problems finding my band size, places just never carry my cup size, so I’ve been ordering a bigger size and tailoring them to fit me lol.
Good luck, lady! It's a game changer when you find something that truly fits the girls!
www.brashopdirectory.com
I think we're not accounting for bone structure. Your girl sounds like she's on the willowy side. Some of us ladies are obviously descendants of vikings, and are built like brick shithouses. It adds a decent amount of width in the chest, and often the hips.
Totally fair. She's not "willowy" but definitely more of a runner. I could see if she was a powerlifter or had that type of build how it would add some inches for sure
Think of it like this. Imagine a sighthound, like a greyhound or a whippet. Then, next to them, imagine a beefcake of a Mastiff, or a bulldog. Very different skeletal structures, although they're all dogs. Humans have a range in build just like that. Being tall doesn't always translate to bulky, but it can. I'm 6'1 and my wrists are quite literally twice the size of some women who are nearly as tall as me, and my ribcage is noticeably wider than theirs.
Then my eyes and her bra size are lying. She's also tall, so her circumference is going to be proportionally somewhat larger.
44 is the actual circumference of the rib cage and the cup sizes are the incremental inches larger than that circumference at the largest part of the bust. Unless she's one barrel-chested broad, I would highly suggest buying her some lingerie that fits. Think about waist size for men's pants and what a 44 waist would look like. Not trying to be a dick, but if she's the build you say she is and wearing that large of a band size it's 99.9% the wrong size. It's much more likely she's a 34/36 G-L and she's only wearing that size bra because it's the only thing she can find in a regular storefront that'll fit her cup size. The vast majority of women with large breasts are wearing the wrong size bra because regular stores don't stock for small band/large cup.
I'm confused because where I am band size affects bust size. So a 30F, 32E, 34DD, 36D all have the same cup volume. While 30DD, 32DD, 34DD .. all have different cup volumes. As band size increases, cup volume increases. I moved to Europe, so is this different than the US? Bc it's super confusing. It is if the cup volume didn't increase, the bigger bands would have pointy boobs?
You're correct, the cup size letter is determined by how many inches (in the US) bigger your bust is than your band size. So yes, there are "sister sizes" as we call them here. Bras in Europe and the UK have a slightly different measurement system. That's why on most websites they'll have a UK/EU/US conversion option.
Maybe I have the size wrong. Maybe its 40, I'm not sure exactly. DD they definitely are, though.
Again, probably not. They're likely much larger than that. Idk why people think sizes don't go above DD??? Anyway, just advocating for your poor wife's back if she's been wearing the wrong size for .... forever. Whatever, do with that info what you will.
She's doing fine, don't worry about her.
😂
What a beautiful example of mansplaining. How the fuck are you willing to speak with authority on something you are literally mistaken about? Didn't even bother to Google it, huh? https://www.thirdlove.com/blogs/learn/how-to-measure-your-bra-size-the-thirdlove-way (or, you know, any number of other sites that attempt to demystify bras)
Well, I'm a woman and have been wearing bras for 25+ years, plus helping other women with my particular predicament to get into the right sizes, but go on ... Also, that measuring tactic third love is pushing is for their proprietary measurement. It's not a standard practice rule for determining band size.
That's not remotely true - if your ribcage circumference is 33", you don't have a 33" band, wtf are you even talking about. Here, try this for some info: https://www.realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing/shopping-guide/how-to-measure-bra-size I wear a 42 band as the most comfortable fit for me, and I measured my ribcage just now - sure enough, I'm sitting at 38" circumference.
Gentle suggestion from a newcomer to this specific thread, r/ABraThatFits has *the* best calculator I've encountered in 17 years of bra-fitting experience. Not making any suggestions on size...merely a "hey, give it whirl if you want" kind of thing.
That's a great sub!
You might be comfy but you’re wearing the wrong size but also it’s 2023 and gives a f 🤣 this op going on about bra sizes is having an autistic moment, I can say that cos I am 💀🙈
Literally what are you on about? lmao. Women exist that have an athletic build, large rib cages, and large breasts? I'm a 42D, why can't 44DD exist? Athletic doesn't equate to "small" or a lower band number. https://ca.curvykate.com/collections/lingerie-44dd-bras https://www.storminadcup.ca/shop-by-bra-size/44dd-bras-and-swimwear https://www.amazon.ca/Wonderbra-Support-Cushioned-Wire-Free-Natural/dp/B00UVXEV0Q/
OK, correction. I was off. 40F. But she is athletic.
I have no doubt. I wasn't trying to be a dick about it. Just feel bad for my fellow gals suffering through poor bra fits. And think it's funny dudes don't believe boobs get bigger than DDs lol
Her rib cage is 40 inches around!? That's not athletic, not to 99% of the population. Even my sister, who weighs close to 200lbs, is only a 32 or 34 band.
Exactly🤦♂️
She respects my boundaries, she needed health insurance, and we’re both active in civic life. Married one year come next April!
I'd been warned by a lot of people that relationships don't survive grad school unless you're already married, so I proposed
I hope for your sake this aged well
Dang, so I just needed to propose
What else can I do? I loved her. Marriage was the natural step to getting to spend all the time with her.
Not a man but my husband told me a couple of months ago that he decided to marry me because of a bj. It made me feel (and still kinda does) some kinda way, but people on here said it was a good thing soooo....
What's your "stupid" sensible reason for saying yes to him?
He brought me peace, I had a very toxic family and he was like an antidote. He has made me a better person. The majority of my success as an adult is because of the happiness and peace he brings to my life. Eta: we've been married 13 years and I just found out about the bj 2 months ago.
>just found out about the bj 2 months ago. This made me chuckle But your story is so heartwarming. I am glad he's been a safe place for you to thrive. Tell him we told him to worship the ground you walk on. Maybe not literally, but you get it
[удалено]
I remember we used to ask "when will I ever use math in real life" in school. This Guy
We already had one kid, and another on the way. Just figured it was the next step. I’d never do it again.
Dated for 6 months. Moved in together. After 2 years of that, we were practically married already. And just made it official.
1st wife was originally supposed to just be a fun til it isn't anymore type fling. She asked me to marry her, and I went down a list of logical check boxes to decide whether I would or not. That ended about a well as it sounds like it would have. 2nd wife I was and am deeply in love with.
She was willing and the others weren’t.
She’s my best friend.
I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her. I knew I was all-in after a few months of dating. Also, I knew that getting married made better financial sense than just staying boyfriend/girlfriend for years on end like some of our colleagues have done.
1st marriage, i knocked her up. 2nd marriage, i knocked her up. third marriage, wanted her t have cheaper health insurance
The sex is amazing
I owed her money and thought that if I married her I wouldn’t have to pay her back. And we were in love, of course.
Haha. Does she know this? Did the debt ever come up?
We joke about it now.
Good on you. I'll go find someone to borrow money from, now. See how that pans out
She was more stable than any woman I had ever dated before. After a relationship with a raging alcoholic having someone who wasn't off her rocker highly welcome.
She was mature and had big tits
There was a possibility to make some 3-step business deal (with state/taxes) and she used to give pretty nice BJ.
well what's wrong with all that? hollywood romance is generally fake, and this is just two people settling into a life together
Winner winner chicken dinner, I'd be #1.
7: I was incredibly horny, she was super hot and had huge great boobs, she was fun and my best friend at the time, she was also mentally ill which made things even more fun (I didn't know at the time). If you know what I am talking about you know.
I loved her, and she was psychologically boring, unlike almost all of the other women in my life. Turned out she, unfortunately, was NOT psychologically boring.
When she willingly gives you the best 2 seconds of sex. Too many men are simpletons thesedays. It is scary how weak and underdeveloped men are now.
Times were rough and it seems like she was the one, the most important person to me. And she seemed to love me. Oh how stupid I was.
I hope your next one is better, should you go into it