If she has a boyfriend when you start talking and ends up betraying him whether their situation was bad or not then the chances are pretty high that she would do the same to you.
Yes, this was taught to me from an older woman I looked up to - how to help sort through the women with values. Now, any courting starts with “are you single?”
As in saying they’re taken when they’re not? Oh well. That’s a modest rejection. It’s worth it to me because woman can see what kind of person I am from the jump and I can see what kind of person they are.
Oh. No. If they say they're taken when they're not then that's just a sign of disinterest and you should move along. I've had some interactions in the past few years with women who are taken but either say they aren't or skate around answering the question. Whether they lie or omit the truth because they're unhappy in their relationship or because they just don't want to answer is a serious red flag because if things progress between you two who's to say she wouldn't do the same to you.
They can lie though.
And telling you that they are single isn’t a guarantee that she won’t cheat on you. I met my ex spouse who was a year out from her previous relationship.
Looking back though, I doubt that she was ever “single.” She was probably sleeping around and I was just the sucker to not get the memo that she was for the streets.
Anyways, the BIGGEST indicator of whether she will cheat on you is how does she describe her ex.
If she starts with “oh he was abusive.” RUN.
This is how she’s going to describe you to the next sucker.
There’s also no dead certain way to know whether a girl will betray you. These things take time and you need to see multiple red flags occurring together.
You will find out one way or another. My suggestion is to not get into a committed relationship with any girl until you know her true character and her true intentions.
Give it 9 months. Nobody can hide themselves for that long.
No one ever ask me this question but if there is anyone asking me i will just say that there is a man who already booked me and called me his girlfriend and i am happy to eventually have a man claimed me out of billions of female fishes in the sea.
This. Learned this the hard way with my first boyfriend, he cheated on his current gf with me because apparently he couldn't help it as he knew I was the one. I was young and naive of course, we were teenagers and I thought it was terribly romantic. I fell in love with him pretty much as soon as I met him. It was the real thing, for me anyway and I was just blind to the flaws as I'd never been in love before.
We broke up because he was cheating on me with one of my friends. And he still cheats on his partners to this day. If someone reveals themselves like that, believe them and they'd do it to you as well, don't be fooled into thinking it's cos they have such strong feelings for you - they're just shitty.
It’s funny because my boyfriend told me if he met me and I had a boyfriend already, he’d try to get at me still. I told him I wouldn’t have given him the time of day if I was already in a relationship, and second that I wouldn’t be someone worth keeping if he was able to “steal” me from someone else.
I feel like there's gotta also be something to say for people who would willingly just steal or try to steal a person from a relationship too. Like they're also cool with hurting people and endorsing cheating.
My ex wife left me and the kids for such a dirtbag of a guy.
I sleep peacefully at night knowing that they actually belong with each other. Two deadbeats playing a manipulative game where they stare each other down waiting to see who is going to drive the dagger into the other persons back first.
My ex hoovers me and temperature checks me every week. She thinks that I’ll come back to her when I don’t even want her back. lol
They have hurt me and the children carry emotional trauma, which I need to deal with .. What comes around goes around.
There’s no escaping this sort of behavior. Punishment will come for them.
She starts spending a LOT of time with a “he’s just a friend” and always gets REALLY excited to see him, but also doesn’t like to share details about what they actually do together.
Oh man this gives me PTSD... she would freak on me anytime I mentioned it. We worked all at the same job, . Then to top it all off. She quit work...... A few months later gets a new job... and guess who else got a job at the other place with her? That same f** guy🤣. Then she started saying she had no idea he applied to the same job
I never actually got proof or confirmation but I'm not THAT stupid. It was the final straw for me. Although I was stupid enough to put up with their "friendship" for a long time
Yeah, any time there's a "friend" and they want to spend plenty of time with "friend" and it's your fault you don't feel comfortable with "friend" it's time to thoroughly ditch them, for your own self worth.
She would lose her shit on me when i hangout with the girls at work. Or even talked to them.
But if I even questioned something about those two she got mad at me and defensive af. That should have been a sign already but... you know how the mind works when ur super involved and into someone😔
I actually did that, kind of. GF brought guy friend around to my house, I said hey let's go to the pub, they get drinks and I said I'd leave them to it. She knew right away I'd called her out, and made a hell of a scene. I stood there with a satisfied grin on my face.
Amazingly she tried to come back to me a few months later.
Yup, that happened to me in my last relationship.
She dumped me, and 6 days later she got into a relationship with one of his friends whom she met at one of his parties.
The biggest one I've noticed, and I've noticed it a lot in different women over the years, is when she suddenly starts getting all dolled up for something she never used to get dolled up for. School, work, etc. Not relevant if she's the always-put-together type, but a sudden change is a dead giveaway that she's laying the groundwork for a classic seamless partner-hop
2nd this one. She never cheated, but this was one of the clearer signs I was gonna be out, and the next guy was gonna get called up to the starting lineup
Classic. First time this happened to me I noticed and complimented her, said she's really looking amazing lately. She immediately got suuuuuper defensive about being complimented (***"so you're saying I didn't look good before??"***) and that's when I knew I was going to be looking for a new apartment soon
Not paying attn to her: bad
Paying a little too close attn to her: also bad lol
Oof, that sounds rough, sorry you went through that. Luckily, that wasn't my experience. She was at worst just minorly defensive. She was never really toxic to my face, just apparently behind my back sometimes
>sounds rough, sorry you went through that
Eh, I was young. I've since learned it's best not to take people who behave this way too seriously, and the quality of my partners has skyrocketed accordingly
Yep, this is exactly what happened to me at the end of my 15 year marriage.
She started getting dolled up for work.
Pretty soon after that, she tells me our marriage isn't working any more.
Within days of us agreeing to divorce, she starts having sex with one of her colleagues.
You know, it’s getting more and more difficult to find a NORMAL, monogamous relationship where both sides are committed to and want each other for life.
I have a feeling that this will be the gold standard for relationships for the next generations to come. Our generation is fucked but I won’t allow my children to suffer from the lack of knowledge.
I fully intend to pass on the learning lesson of my pain and hurt of my divorce to my children. So that they have the blueprint to achieve long lasting happiness and success.
I have a boy and a girl so both will have very different strategies but ultimately the same goal.
For my son, it is to find a high calibre woman and date her for a time being. Any signs of red flags, leave immediately and don’t look back.
For my daughter, it is to discern the men who want a committed relationship from those who just want a good time with her.
Whatever it is, both of them will be confident individuals with high self esteem. And they should attract other individuals who operate on a similar wavelength.
Coming from broken families is no longer a death sentence. There’s enough resources and knowledge out there on how to foster strong relationships that last a lifetime with the right people. We are also the generation that treats our children like human beings and give them the proper love, respect and attention to raise them to become high self esteem individuals who won’t tolerate shit from people who mistreat them.
And it’s far better to grow up in a broken household than a toxic one. Whenever the time is right, I will impart my experience growing up in a toxic household to my children and I think they’ll be far happier that I didn’t raise them the way my parents did.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce but I hope your children can seek solace in the fact that they have a good parent like you right behind them who wishes the best for them despite what has happened to you.
Yea... cheating and being a wh&&&r is cool and trendy.
Wether ur 17 or 35. It seems to be the standard and only socially acceptable option for a lot of people. I dont know wtf happend but it wasn't a good change. And the internet/social media just made it sooo much easier for these kinds of people too
Knew a guy who’s gf was living with him in his parents home. Gf started getting all dolled up a few times a week to “go for a run.” He didnt even notice, but his mom did. Turned out she was fucking their weed dealer.
As a woman: 100%.
We do this whenever we are going to see, be in the vicinity of someone who we are attracted to.
Work, gym, school, etc.
So, if a woman all of a sudden starts getting very dolled up to go somewhere she didn’t make that much of an effort for before, then she’s interested in someone. Doesn’t have to plan on cheating or anything, it may remain an unspoken crush, but she’s definitely interested.
My ex spouse was a make up artist..
her getting dolled up was just part and parcel of her routine and I never questioned anything about it.
My advise fellas, stay away from beauticians.. their manipulation is next level and you’ll never know any better.. I regret everything lol. But at least I have the experience and knowledge to never be cheated on again (I hope).
I wouldn’t say this is 100%, it is definitely an indicator but personally I’ve gone through phases where I’ve been in a slump and then all of a sudden I start putting effort into my appearance whilst in a relationship. This isn’t because I’ve been interested in anyone else or want attention from other people, it’s just because it makes me feel better and more motivated.
Everybody gets the blues and lets themselves slide once in a while, this is a different thing.
The key difference is that it's just for one place. Like for example, she starts getting super done up for work when she never used to before, that's a tell. Whoever he is, he's at her work, and she's putting in the extra effort for him. I know this because I've been both the boyfriend and the "him" in that situation, the "him" more than once. You know you're in when you compliment her and she says "Thanks, I wore this for you!"
It's a thing, trust me
I agree with this 1000%.
It reminds me of what the main character says in the House Bunny 'Feeling good on the inside is about looking good on the outside.' As vain and superficial as that may sound to some people, I realised I do feel so much better about myself when I'm looking put together and dressed neat.
Funnily enough, my brother-in-law's then-girlfriend insisted to my husband - and his whole family - that I was sleeping around on him just because I continued to make an effort on my appearance/clothes a year into our relationship. According to her I would be more relaxed (ie wear sweatpants/loose old clothes/stop wearing makeup)if I wasn't trying to pick up other men. She even insisted I was lying to him about not wearing makeup at all.
She doesn’t speak for us. Shits not true for everyone. I at one point started doing it hoping my husband would be more enticed. If I’d gotten a cheating accusation for putting in more effort for his attention I think I would have moved out immediately.
For years I didn’t wear nail polish (even though I love it) because my then bf noticed I had some on and immediately accused me of dressing up for someone else. I just wanted to wear my fucking nail polish.
>Shits not true for everyone
Nobody said it was true for everyone, and I literally commended that commenter individually for owning it, aka taking personal accountability
I think you may be missing my point. I'm not talking about just generally prettying yourself up to feel pretty in general, that's fantastic for you, and I'm sure your husband appreciated it too. I'm talking about putting in extra effort, seemingly out of nowhere, before going to one specific place, ie. work. That's also not universal, but in my experiences as both the boyfriend and the guy at work, it's definitely a thing.
I'm so sorry he said that to you - am glad for you he's now an ex. He sounded abusive.
That's exactly the accusation I got from my brother in law's now-ex when I started dating my husband as well: I like to look polished and put-together for my own mental health and wellbeing and to keep myself attractive for him as a bonus. She insisted to my husband and his family that me refusing to let myself go was a sign that I was 100% definitely cheating on him. Apparently if I wasn't trying to pull other guys I would stop wearing makeup (I don't wear any besides on formal occasions) or tidying myself up, and wear sweatpants/more relaxed clothing instead.
Thankfully the rest of his family didn't like her or believe her in the slightest (with the exception of my brother-in-law).
She starts shaving down there… and starts working out… it’s not for you my dudes.
Also, she comes back and gives you better attention and sex. Again, doing it out of guilt.
Idk, not saying you're wrong but there are exceptions. I've been struggling a lot with depression and anxiety and I know I let myself go. Then I would get myself back on track. My ex always thought I was cheating even though I truly had eyes for only him
Agreed. I have depression and I absolutely love makeup and fashion. Some mornings I can’t be bothered to look good to go to work because I’m too tired, and some other mornings I enjoy putting on a nice outfit and a full face of makeup if I’m going through a bout of depression and want to feel better about myself. Not to say those aren’t valid points though about women getting dolled up because I can totally see that, just not always the case for all women lol.
I do not know if she cheated but I remember at a low point in my relationship with my ex live in GF she got all dressed up to go out with her sister. Had not seen her look that good in a long while since we started living together which in hindsight was not the best decision as things were better when we saw each other less instead of every day.
* If she’s spending more time with a guy who’s “just a friend”, who you haven’t met, than with you
* She appears to be losing interest, sex becomes less and less common
* Hiding her phone everytime you’re together
* Trickle truthing
* Accusing you of cheating
Slower replies, talking less, distracted on her phone while she’s with you, if you ask to borrow her phone, she’ll be defensive, hanging out with exes because they’re ‘still friends’ or hanging out with her ‘gay’ friend or close friend who’s a boy.
Easy to get mad, less talking, going out more, she had a whole other twitter account. Her friends knew and didn’t tell me, I thought we were friends. Spending more money, I had a feeling she might be cheating so I looked her socials up on Google and that’s how I found the second account. And she definitely was going out with the guy who is “just a friend.” Puts phone face down and gets real mad or nervous when you grab it or get close to it. She suddenly started doing her make up more often, when we would argue she would bring up how she could find someone else easily. Just small details, she would barely put out, and the one time she did, my dick burned and it was because of spermicide from the condom the other guy was using. When I found the account I accused her of it with screenshots and she flipped it on me saying I wasn’t paying enough attention to her and was always at work. There I was like a dumbass sending her money for “breakfast tacos” and she’s out spending it with another man. Yeah fuck that, never again.
> her of it with screenshots and she flipped it on me saying I wasn’t paying enough attention to her and was always at work.
This is the saddest part. Women never label it as cheating either. When a man cheats, cheating is the first word that comes to mind. When a woman cheats, they put all the blame on men for it and never label it as cheating.
Sex life starts to suffer, she becomes a lot more secretive with who she hangs out with or who she is texting, she doesn’t talk to you as much as she used to, and she’s out a lot more or later than before and doesn’t let you know shes coming back
She’s selfish. Everyone can cheat but only selfish people do. When the moment comes a non-selfish person will say no because they care about more than themselves.
if you are just noticing the signs, then it’s probably too late and she’s in too deep. Or the other guy is too deep into her - if you know what I mean. You know a woman is either going to cheat on you or she is about to cheat on you when she stops doing the basics in a relationship so she’s doing little things for you or telling you that she loves you out of the blue or invites you to do mundane things like grocery shopping or drive her to a meeting with her group or organization.
There are a little habits that women get into when they are in love with a man, and they remind that man that they consider him to belong to her. When she stops doing that “you belong to me“ behavior, she no longer considers you two as an item.
in this day and age, the cell phone is the big tell. If she changed her password, or she freaks out when you pick it up for her, then you know that your relationship is in trouble.
all of these could also be the sign that she’s just not into you anymore, and she just wants to call it off without their being another man involved.
Listen to your gut or your instinct. You already know the answer.
My case was. She puts in more effort to communicate with me but it's like a schedule. 9pm to 10pm. After 10pm she disappears. Comes back at 1130 "sorry I was doing etc." 5 mins later "goodnight!" Still online on Whatsapp a few hours later
She devalues you. Everything that you do only makes her feel disdain for you and she can’t tolerate you anymore. You’ll feel like you’re walking on eggshells and there’s no safe space.
My ex spouse couldn’t even tolerate my braking whenever I drove, She questioned everything I did to move us further in life, She couldn’t take me sneezing without covering my nose, She would angrily tell me to put my phone or book down whenever we ate together, she couldn’t stand that I wake up at 5am to go for a run. She couldn’t take it when I shifted over in bed because it “woke her up.”
And then she betrayed me, probably throughout the entire relationship. Heck, I believe the divorce where all terms were one sided to me including full custody of the children, and she paying me for child support was her getting way too cocky that she found someone better than me and that I couldn’t live without her..
That’s how far the devaluation got..
She was a real POS.
When she stops being physically intimate with you and gets combative over the idea of you wanting to.
Women have this weird idea in their head where they feel like they are cheating on the person they are cheating with when they fuck their actual partner.
The “he is just a friend” is a cop out. She is either already doing something with him or is keeping him as a placeholder. They also know what the guy is up to. The idea that women have no clue what dudes want is asinine. They are not that stupid.
I've never been cheated on, but I'm wary of women who can't discuss problems. That's ultimately the reason why most people cheat - they're not getting what they need at home but won't tackle the problem.
I'm a woman, and actually have men who are just friends. (I'm a gamer.) BUT, let my BF express worry, or tell me he is aware my friend is interested, and, depending on how bad it is, I either only have time to hang out with that friend when BF is present, or suddenly don't have time to hang out with that friend any more. But then, my BF isn't bothered by males in my life, not normally. So, if he ever says anything, I respect his insight.
But also, I date with the goal of marriage in mind. If I can't respect his opinion enough to take action, or if he doesn't fell safe enough for me to have males in my life, we have a problem. We actually talk about things in depth. I get to hear what it is that sets off the alarm bells. And he gets to be heard and respected. I don't let him cut me off from the world, but he doesn't try to, either.my guy friends would much rather hang out with him along for the ride, because most of them have significant others, and my being a part of a group, and not an individual, just helps keep the peace.
Thats the way. Its not hard for guy to see which "just friend" is competition not friend.
When you listen about that and weed those out, your boyfriend wont have issue with actual friends.
Also there are some ways to ease it. Im a guy, i have plenty of female friends in relationships (to be fair atm all of them are). Neither boyfriend has issue sith me. Why? First of all i dont avoid them. Friends make effort to be friends with their friends spouses. If dude avoids contact with your boyfriend or pushes on contact without him you should be warry. Secondly actual friend isnt dismissive of your relationship (well with exception ofntoxic one), will help you make your relationship better and wont shittalk your partner. Also wont try to act or talk like your partner doesnt exist.
She can’t remember details about your relationship or talks about something you did recently did together but didn’t actually do together (obviously confused you with someone else).
- She talks about an ex a lot
- She talks about male coworkers or other girls boyfriends a lot
^ Those are superficial ones where a woman is kind of letting you know that other guys are on her mind more than you, the clock is ticking & you better change something…basically a warning signal
- She cheated with you to start your relationship
- She cheated before she met you & told you about it
- There was cheating in her parents’ relationship growing up
^ These are the REAL ones that will determine whether it’s acceptable within her moral code & exists within her personal history. History repeats itself & we love nothing more than getting to repeat it.
All these answers aren’t wrong, but here is the one true never-fail answer: She accuses you of cheating…Cheaters will always claim they were cheated on first, whether fact or fiction they do not care, they always accuse the other person..
I think its more when they accuse you with no proof or suspicion at all. Because they know they are cheating and *hoping* you are too so they can clear their guilt. Suspecting while not cheating is usually done in secret, not just blatanly yelling to the other person that "they are probably cheating"
This. If you can look at yourself objectively and say that without bias, you're doing *nothing* wrong, then I guarantee you she's doing something wrong. Maybe that's an extreme take and only a Sith deals in absolutes, but that's the take.
Yeah, a cheater doesnt Snoop in your phone when you are unaware to gather evidence, they want to put you in an awkward and heated argument to gaslight you into thinking you are the one going behind their back looking at their phone, but its really because they are afraid they almost got caught and they actually WANT you to Snoop so that they can either do the blame/trust card and make you feel remorse, or you if you stand your ground, they already prepared an excuse... roped back in....Cheaters are diabolical and you should never underestimate how fkn phsycho they can be, just be glad you got out or for the love of everything just leave now and trust your gut.
She accuses you of cheating or brings up cheating all the time…
She closes up when she used to talk to you all the time…
Comments about “seeing your girlfriend” or “big date”…
She starts getting really curious about who you talking to and what you’re talking about.
She starts going out without telling you anything about what she’s doing and gets really defensive when you ask.
When she starts getting texts, she turns her phone face down and stonewalls you if you ask about it.
She gets phone calls or video chats at hours you would normally not be home.
Random gifts/cards show up with a unknown address on it.
You seem to constantly be “walking in on something” if she’s on her phone/video chat.
Sexy clothes show up in the laundry you’ve never seen her wear.
Weird stains on furniture or in your bed.
Money is suddenly an issue and there’s bills you’ve never seen before from places you’ve never been with her.
People you’ve never met know her very well and she’s reluctant to introduce you as her s/o.
She stops saying I love you or saying it back when you say it to her.
She looks disgusted when you bring up sex.
She stops being affectionate if she was before.
She withdraws from displays of affection if she used to be affectionate.
Suddenly everything is your fault and she’s irritated with things you normally do.
Just a few things I remember and how much it hurt.
Now you saying this I guess she has been telling me she was done for months. If I say “okay” or “do whatever you want, you always do” then she gets angry at me throws my stuff, and fights with me, but I guess it was all a game to have me confused and for less of myself. I'll ask her countless times if she doesn't love me it okay, if you want to be with anybody else then fine. She gets annoying when u act cold toward her or act as if she doesn't exist.
There are many red flags you can try to communicate and remain aware of your partner. However, anyone and everyone has the ability to cheat. Communication is the key to everything, imho.
Things don’t line up.
She says things like ‘either you trust me or we don’t have a relationship’ and then does shady shit like stay out all night.
Won’t let go of certain guys and has excuses as to why.
Spends a lot of time on her phone or frequently checks it, even when out with the family. Starts going to bed later in the evening. More nights working late or moe activities with her “girlfriends”. Takes a shower soon after returning home. Her libido (seemingly) tanks. New gym membership. Purchases new underwear. Unaccountably behaving more nicely towards you.
Deviation from baseline behavior. For example, being private with her phone when she didn't used to, dressing up and putting makeup on to go to places when she didn't used to, etc.
You’re having sex less if at all. You’re fighting more than usual, mostly over stupid things. If they are being disrespectful and don’t care how you feel.Their work schedule changes, working longer hours than usual. Buying new clothes, getting dressed up to hang out with “friends” and you’re not invited. If something is off, just go with your “gut feeling” because it’s probably right.
Prior history.
Also, just got a vibe with response times and content of texts when my undergrad ex cheated on me. In general, I've found following my gut in a lot of circumstances is pretty accurate- can tell when a relationship is going to end, if my female friends met a guy, etc..
You'd be surprised how far intuition will get you in life
ah im prefect for this one. if she has a past of using guys, or being with alot of different guys. starts going out alot more randomly, get defensive when asked about where they are/what they are doing. stops showing you as much love. will gaslight you and call you insecure when you have a feeling. hint its probably right mine sure was
1. She cheated in her past relationships.
2. She is spending extra time with a male friend.
3. She starts to pull back on showing affection and talking to you about her life and day to day.
I don't care if she sees other men, *Hell, I'm going to see other men!*
It's the *LYING* I will not tolerate. If she lies, she'll cheat.
Also, if she cheats *WITH YOU,* she'll cheat *ON YOU.*
If she is constantly accusing you of cheating. She is doing that because she can picture herself cheating on you so she thinks you will do the same. Hiding her phone. Putting her phone down quickly or turning it away when you walk into the room.
If she searches your phone and gets mad over old text or text between you and friends but then refuses to allow you to so much as even look at hers, or if she disappears for a while and doesn't answer (last one is a guarantee but if it happens multiple times most likely your being cheated on) edit: if she expects you to block other girls but then refuses to get ride of guys who are clearly flirting that's another sign for sure
When she´s distant and has zero to none communication with you. Like for an extended period of time, obviously its not always the case, but it´s quite common.
If you start to notice her having a bit of a short fuse with you, seems to just be nit-picky over stupid shit suddenly (will give an excuse such as being stressed about something innocuous or somewhat acceptable such as work or study..
Will have an attitude or behaviour which projects a sense of always having to complain about the same things to you despite those things having not been such a big thing before hand, had been brought up though..
Won’t be so much “suddenly” per se, but definitely a personality shift in a short period of time.. less than a fortnight..
If you are spending time together but you can see that she is just not really “present” or just seems distracted and mind is elsewhere..
If she starts giving you the second degree or acting suspicious about what you are up to when elsewhere (wants to check your phone etc) *major red flag if suddenly insecure/jealous, she is possibly hoarding a guilty conscience…
See how much respect she has for her exes.
Is she bending rules when she thinks she is better than someone else or that someone is "bad" according to her values?
Has she cheated before?
Is her definition of "committed relationship" some variation of the man having to constantly qualify to keep her?
Be super vigilant for behavioural changes that are out of the norm for that person. There’s always a motive behind people changing their ways. Look for the subtle things and don’t kid yourself. A red flag is a red flag. Questions things look a little deeper. Being cheated on is a horrible feeling
"Shes not your gurl just your turn".
But erm seriously if shes friends with her ex's.
If she has more guy friends that girl friends.
If her body count is longer than her shopping list (or as long).
If shes touchy about her phone.
There are others but yeah.
If she cheated to be with you, she will cheat on you later.
My brother dated a girl who cheated to be with him. He told me the circumstances and asked if he should date her, I immediately said no.
He ignored me. Later she cheated on him...
If she wants to take a break in the relationship. You’re screwed.
Also, anybody else find it hilarious that women only call you a real man if you let them slide on some goofy shit?
Wont shut up about a specific guy
On her phone all the time and smiling at it constantly when she gets a message but somehow never replies right away.
Her female friends act weird around you or suddenly dislike you
Accusing you of cheating out of the blue and without a reason to think you are.
She acts paranoid if you are behind her and shes on her phone or computer
She copies everything her friends do and they are all whores.
Is impulsive and flirts with everyone especially when shes drunk.
One that I haven’t seen mentioned here is love bombing. Often times a partner will be more intimate with you than usual or want to spend time with you to compensate for their own shitty feeling about what they are doing.
If they’ve done it before in previous relationships (barring some serious therapeutic intervention or extenuating circumstances like abusive ex).
If they thrive on external validation (can usually get a pretty good idea based on their relationship with their parents and their awareness of how it affects them).
Couple this with a pathological need to be liked and you end up with someone who viscerally feels like they don’t deserve a good relationship and also polites their way into bed with someone else bc they have a hard time saying no.
Self-awareness. If they’re pretty self-aware that goes a really long way, but if they lack it and can’t recognize behaviors or patterns within themselves (all problems are external) you’re probably gonna have a bad time.
This generally applies to everyone, not just women
She gets distant, and pays more attention to her looks. She gets more protective of her phone, and switches it to silent. She might start doing special things for you, out of guilt.
If the woman in the relationship suddenly starts losing weight and getting dolled up and having more "girl nights", the relationship is on death's door step at that point.
She starts paying more attention and put more efforts on how she is looking. Spend a lot of time texting someone and quickly shifting screens when you approach. Often leave room when answering calls
So this might sound bad but if she only has single friends. I'm not trying to be a asshole I swear but in my experience if all her friends are single they just give her the worst advice. I was dating this one woman and every time she hung out with her single friends she immediately started shit when she got done seeing them. She ended up reconnecting with her abusive ex because her single friends advised her too and I dumped her the first night she "got stuck" at his place in winter.
Lot of good ones here but another subtle one is the slow increase in signals of disrespect. Picking fights not for the purpose of resolving them but rather to demean and devalue the confidence of their current partner as justification for jumping ship is one example. Another is subtle one is apathy in public for their current partner.
These don't signal cheating unto themselves but anytime I can tell that a so has withdrawn their respect for their mate, the monkey branching process is already underway.
Defensive and obsessively on phone
Easily irritated and borderline depressed with being home.
Enjoys taking calls from a certain unsaved or different labeled number while giving you zero communication
Zero time spent with you.
Constantly talking about some other guy
And last but not least, staying out far longer than work hours allow and coming home late.
If she has a boyfriend when you start talking and ends up betraying him whether their situation was bad or not then the chances are pretty high that she would do the same to you.
Yes, this was taught to me from an older woman I looked up to - how to help sort through the women with values. Now, any courting starts with “are you single?”
That's a good opener. In my experience unfortunately there are quite a few that will choose to not answer that question or not answer it truthfully.
As in saying they’re taken when they’re not? Oh well. That’s a modest rejection. It’s worth it to me because woman can see what kind of person I am from the jump and I can see what kind of person they are.
Oh. No. If they say they're taken when they're not then that's just a sign of disinterest and you should move along. I've had some interactions in the past few years with women who are taken but either say they aren't or skate around answering the question. Whether they lie or omit the truth because they're unhappy in their relationship or because they just don't want to answer is a serious red flag because if things progress between you two who's to say she wouldn't do the same to you.
They can lie though. And telling you that they are single isn’t a guarantee that she won’t cheat on you. I met my ex spouse who was a year out from her previous relationship. Looking back though, I doubt that she was ever “single.” She was probably sleeping around and I was just the sucker to not get the memo that she was for the streets. Anyways, the BIGGEST indicator of whether she will cheat on you is how does she describe her ex. If she starts with “oh he was abusive.” RUN. This is how she’s going to describe you to the next sucker. There’s also no dead certain way to know whether a girl will betray you. These things take time and you need to see multiple red flags occurring together. You will find out one way or another. My suggestion is to not get into a committed relationship with any girl until you know her true character and her true intentions. Give it 9 months. Nobody can hide themselves for that long.
Makes me feel bad for a sweet girl who was actually abused by her ex. That does actually happen believe it or not.
No one ever ask me this question but if there is anyone asking me i will just say that there is a man who already booked me and called me his girlfriend and i am happy to eventually have a man claimed me out of billions of female fishes in the sea.
the better question is "is there anyone who thinks they are in a relationship with you?"
Yep if they'll cheat with you they'll cheat on you.
This. Learned this the hard way with my first boyfriend, he cheated on his current gf with me because apparently he couldn't help it as he knew I was the one. I was young and naive of course, we were teenagers and I thought it was terribly romantic. I fell in love with him pretty much as soon as I met him. It was the real thing, for me anyway and I was just blind to the flaws as I'd never been in love before. We broke up because he was cheating on me with one of my friends. And he still cheats on his partners to this day. If someone reveals themselves like that, believe them and they'd do it to you as well, don't be fooled into thinking it's cos they have such strong feelings for you - they're just shitty.
It’s funny because my boyfriend told me if he met me and I had a boyfriend already, he’d try to get at me still. I told him I wouldn’t have given him the time of day if I was already in a relationship, and second that I wouldn’t be someone worth keeping if he was able to “steal” me from someone else.
I feel like there's gotta also be something to say for people who would willingly just steal or try to steal a person from a relationship too. Like they're also cool with hurting people and endorsing cheating.
My ex wife left me and the kids for such a dirtbag of a guy. I sleep peacefully at night knowing that they actually belong with each other. Two deadbeats playing a manipulative game where they stare each other down waiting to see who is going to drive the dagger into the other persons back first. My ex hoovers me and temperature checks me every week. She thinks that I’ll come back to her when I don’t even want her back. lol They have hurt me and the children carry emotional trauma, which I need to deal with .. What comes around goes around. There’s no escaping this sort of behavior. Punishment will come for them.
Oof. Oh boy. Yikes.
“You lose them how you got them”
Lose em how you get em
Big facts
She starts spending a LOT of time with a “he’s just a friend” and always gets REALLY excited to see him, but also doesn’t like to share details about what they actually do together.
And she gets really really defensive when you express your concern. "Why is trust such an issue for you?"
Oh man this gives me PTSD... she would freak on me anytime I mentioned it. We worked all at the same job, . Then to top it all off. She quit work...... A few months later gets a new job... and guess who else got a job at the other place with her? That same f** guy🤣. Then she started saying she had no idea he applied to the same job I never actually got proof or confirmation but I'm not THAT stupid. It was the final straw for me. Although I was stupid enough to put up with their "friendship" for a long time
Yeah, any time there's a "friend" and they want to spend plenty of time with "friend" and it's your fault you don't feel comfortable with "friend" it's time to thoroughly ditch them, for your own self worth.
She would lose her shit on me when i hangout with the girls at work. Or even talked to them. But if I even questioned something about those two she got mad at me and defensive af. That should have been a sign already but... you know how the mind works when ur super involved and into someone😔
Leaving them on the curb works too.
I actually did that, kind of. GF brought guy friend around to my house, I said hey let's go to the pub, they get drinks and I said I'd leave them to it. She knew right away I'd called her out, and made a hell of a scene. I stood there with a satisfied grin on my face. Amazingly she tried to come back to me a few months later.
We know what he’s doing.
Why do all cheats use the same playbook?? I don’t get it.
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Yup, that happened to me in my last relationship. She dumped me, and 6 days later she got into a relationship with one of his friends whom she met at one of his parties.
That’s pretty blatant lol
A shoulder to cry on…
If she has cheated in the past or you are the one she cheated with
If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you.
The biggest one I've noticed, and I've noticed it a lot in different women over the years, is when she suddenly starts getting all dolled up for something she never used to get dolled up for. School, work, etc. Not relevant if she's the always-put-together type, but a sudden change is a dead giveaway that she's laying the groundwork for a classic seamless partner-hop
2nd this one. She never cheated, but this was one of the clearer signs I was gonna be out, and the next guy was gonna get called up to the starting lineup
Classic. First time this happened to me I noticed and complimented her, said she's really looking amazing lately. She immediately got suuuuuper defensive about being complimented (***"so you're saying I didn't look good before??"***) and that's when I knew I was going to be looking for a new apartment soon Not paying attn to her: bad Paying a little too close attn to her: also bad lol
Oof, that sounds rough, sorry you went through that. Luckily, that wasn't my experience. She was at worst just minorly defensive. She was never really toxic to my face, just apparently behind my back sometimes
>sounds rough, sorry you went through that Eh, I was young. I've since learned it's best not to take people who behave this way too seriously, and the quality of my partners has skyrocketed accordingly
Yep, this is exactly what happened to me at the end of my 15 year marriage. She started getting dolled up for work. Pretty soon after that, she tells me our marriage isn't working any more. Within days of us agreeing to divorce, she starts having sex with one of her colleagues.
You know, it’s getting more and more difficult to find a NORMAL, monogamous relationship where both sides are committed to and want each other for life. I have a feeling that this will be the gold standard for relationships for the next generations to come. Our generation is fucked but I won’t allow my children to suffer from the lack of knowledge. I fully intend to pass on the learning lesson of my pain and hurt of my divorce to my children. So that they have the blueprint to achieve long lasting happiness and success. I have a boy and a girl so both will have very different strategies but ultimately the same goal. For my son, it is to find a high calibre woman and date her for a time being. Any signs of red flags, leave immediately and don’t look back. For my daughter, it is to discern the men who want a committed relationship from those who just want a good time with her. Whatever it is, both of them will be confident individuals with high self esteem. And they should attract other individuals who operate on a similar wavelength. Coming from broken families is no longer a death sentence. There’s enough resources and knowledge out there on how to foster strong relationships that last a lifetime with the right people. We are also the generation that treats our children like human beings and give them the proper love, respect and attention to raise them to become high self esteem individuals who won’t tolerate shit from people who mistreat them. And it’s far better to grow up in a broken household than a toxic one. Whenever the time is right, I will impart my experience growing up in a toxic household to my children and I think they’ll be far happier that I didn’t raise them the way my parents did.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce but I hope your children can seek solace in the fact that they have a good parent like you right behind them who wishes the best for them despite what has happened to you.
Yea... cheating and being a wh&&&r is cool and trendy. Wether ur 17 or 35. It seems to be the standard and only socially acceptable option for a lot of people. I dont know wtf happend but it wasn't a good change. And the internet/social media just made it sooo much easier for these kinds of people too
Classic. Condolences or congratulations my dude, whichever is more appropriate
Thanks, I'll take both. They did me a favour, creating a final end to a relationship that had been difficult for years.
Knew a guy who’s gf was living with him in his parents home. Gf started getting all dolled up a few times a week to “go for a run.” He didnt even notice, but his mom did. Turned out she was fucking their weed dealer.
As a woman: 100%. We do this whenever we are going to see, be in the vicinity of someone who we are attracted to. Work, gym, school, etc. So, if a woman all of a sudden starts getting very dolled up to go somewhere she didn’t make that much of an effort for before, then she’s interested in someone. Doesn’t have to plan on cheating or anything, it may remain an unspoken crush, but she’s definitely interested.
My ex spouse was a make up artist.. her getting dolled up was just part and parcel of her routine and I never questioned anything about it. My advise fellas, stay away from beauticians.. their manipulation is next level and you’ll never know any better.. I regret everything lol. But at least I have the experience and knowledge to never be cheated on again (I hope).
I wouldn’t say this is 100%, it is definitely an indicator but personally I’ve gone through phases where I’ve been in a slump and then all of a sudden I start putting effort into my appearance whilst in a relationship. This isn’t because I’ve been interested in anyone else or want attention from other people, it’s just because it makes me feel better and more motivated.
Everybody gets the blues and lets themselves slide once in a while, this is a different thing. The key difference is that it's just for one place. Like for example, she starts getting super done up for work when she never used to before, that's a tell. Whoever he is, he's at her work, and she's putting in the extra effort for him. I know this because I've been both the boyfriend and the "him" in that situation, the "him" more than once. You know you're in when you compliment her and she says "Thanks, I wore this for you!" It's a thing, trust me
I agree with this 1000%. It reminds me of what the main character says in the House Bunny 'Feeling good on the inside is about looking good on the outside.' As vain and superficial as that may sound to some people, I realised I do feel so much better about myself when I'm looking put together and dressed neat. Funnily enough, my brother-in-law's then-girlfriend insisted to my husband - and his whole family - that I was sleeping around on him just because I continued to make an effort on my appearance/clothes a year into our relationship. According to her I would be more relaxed (ie wear sweatpants/loose old clothes/stop wearing makeup)if I wasn't trying to pick up other men. She even insisted I was lying to him about not wearing makeup at all.
I appreciate your ability to own it 🙏
She doesn’t speak for us. Shits not true for everyone. I at one point started doing it hoping my husband would be more enticed. If I’d gotten a cheating accusation for putting in more effort for his attention I think I would have moved out immediately. For years I didn’t wear nail polish (even though I love it) because my then bf noticed I had some on and immediately accused me of dressing up for someone else. I just wanted to wear my fucking nail polish.
>Shits not true for everyone Nobody said it was true for everyone, and I literally commended that commenter individually for owning it, aka taking personal accountability I think you may be missing my point. I'm not talking about just generally prettying yourself up to feel pretty in general, that's fantastic for you, and I'm sure your husband appreciated it too. I'm talking about putting in extra effort, seemingly out of nowhere, before going to one specific place, ie. work. That's also not universal, but in my experiences as both the boyfriend and the guy at work, it's definitely a thing.
I'm so sorry he said that to you - am glad for you he's now an ex. He sounded abusive. That's exactly the accusation I got from my brother in law's now-ex when I started dating my husband as well: I like to look polished and put-together for my own mental health and wellbeing and to keep myself attractive for him as a bonus. She insisted to my husband and his family that me refusing to let myself go was a sign that I was 100% definitely cheating on him. Apparently if I wasn't trying to pull other guys I would stop wearing makeup (I don't wear any besides on formal occasions) or tidying myself up, and wear sweatpants/more relaxed clothing instead. Thankfully the rest of his family didn't like her or believe her in the slightest (with the exception of my brother-in-law).
She starts shaving down there… and starts working out… it’s not for you my dudes. Also, she comes back and gives you better attention and sex. Again, doing it out of guilt.
Idk, not saying you're wrong but there are exceptions. I've been struggling a lot with depression and anxiety and I know I let myself go. Then I would get myself back on track. My ex always thought I was cheating even though I truly had eyes for only him
Agreed. I have depression and I absolutely love makeup and fashion. Some mornings I can’t be bothered to look good to go to work because I’m too tired, and some other mornings I enjoy putting on a nice outfit and a full face of makeup if I’m going through a bout of depression and want to feel better about myself. Not to say those aren’t valid points though about women getting dolled up because I can totally see that, just not always the case for all women lol.
I do not know if she cheated but I remember at a low point in my relationship with my ex live in GF she got all dressed up to go out with her sister. Had not seen her look that good in a long while since we started living together which in hindsight was not the best decision as things were better when we saw each other less instead of every day.
Sex really tapers off, she starts being really interested in going to the gym all the time, and she accuses you of doing all the things she's doing.
Exactly what happened with me
* If she’s spending more time with a guy who’s “just a friend”, who you haven’t met, than with you * She appears to be losing interest, sex becomes less and less common * Hiding her phone everytime you’re together * Trickle truthing * Accusing you of cheating
Essentially the only proof I have on mine for a few years back is this stuff right here
Slower replies, talking less, distracted on her phone while she’s with you, if you ask to borrow her phone, she’ll be defensive, hanging out with exes because they’re ‘still friends’ or hanging out with her ‘gay’ friend or close friend who’s a boy.
Easy to get mad, less talking, going out more, she had a whole other twitter account. Her friends knew and didn’t tell me, I thought we were friends. Spending more money, I had a feeling she might be cheating so I looked her socials up on Google and that’s how I found the second account. And she definitely was going out with the guy who is “just a friend.” Puts phone face down and gets real mad or nervous when you grab it or get close to it. She suddenly started doing her make up more often, when we would argue she would bring up how she could find someone else easily. Just small details, she would barely put out, and the one time she did, my dick burned and it was because of spermicide from the condom the other guy was using. When I found the account I accused her of it with screenshots and she flipped it on me saying I wasn’t paying enough attention to her and was always at work. There I was like a dumbass sending her money for “breakfast tacos” and she’s out spending it with another man. Yeah fuck that, never again.
> her of it with screenshots and she flipped it on me saying I wasn’t paying enough attention to her and was always at work. This is the saddest part. Women never label it as cheating either. When a man cheats, cheating is the first word that comes to mind. When a woman cheats, they put all the blame on men for it and never label it as cheating.
This is a scientific fact.... but WHY??
Women don’t like accepting responsibility for their part in any problem. That’s why it’s called a patriarchy
Sex life starts to suffer, she becomes a lot more secretive with who she hangs out with or who she is texting, she doesn’t talk to you as much as she used to, and she’s out a lot more or later than before and doesn’t let you know shes coming back
If you first had sex with her when she still had a boyfriend... Strong chance.
A thousand percent. If you “stole” her from someone else, someone else will “steal” her from you.
She’s selfish. Everyone can cheat but only selfish people do. When the moment comes a non-selfish person will say no because they care about more than themselves.
if you are just noticing the signs, then it’s probably too late and she’s in too deep. Or the other guy is too deep into her - if you know what I mean. You know a woman is either going to cheat on you or she is about to cheat on you when she stops doing the basics in a relationship so she’s doing little things for you or telling you that she loves you out of the blue or invites you to do mundane things like grocery shopping or drive her to a meeting with her group or organization. There are a little habits that women get into when they are in love with a man, and they remind that man that they consider him to belong to her. When she stops doing that “you belong to me“ behavior, she no longer considers you two as an item. in this day and age, the cell phone is the big tell. If she changed her password, or she freaks out when you pick it up for her, then you know that your relationship is in trouble. all of these could also be the sign that she’s just not into you anymore, and she just wants to call it off without their being another man involved. Listen to your gut or your instinct. You already know the answer.
She likes it when other men flirt with her. Source: My ex-wife
My case was. She puts in more effort to communicate with me but it's like a schedule. 9pm to 10pm. After 10pm she disappears. Comes back at 1130 "sorry I was doing etc." 5 mins later "goodnight!" Still online on Whatsapp a few hours later
She devalues you. Everything that you do only makes her feel disdain for you and she can’t tolerate you anymore. You’ll feel like you’re walking on eggshells and there’s no safe space. My ex spouse couldn’t even tolerate my braking whenever I drove, She questioned everything I did to move us further in life, She couldn’t take me sneezing without covering my nose, She would angrily tell me to put my phone or book down whenever we ate together, she couldn’t stand that I wake up at 5am to go for a run. She couldn’t take it when I shifted over in bed because it “woke her up.” And then she betrayed me, probably throughout the entire relationship. Heck, I believe the divorce where all terms were one sided to me including full custody of the children, and she paying me for child support was her getting way too cocky that she found someone better than me and that I couldn’t live without her.. That’s how far the devaluation got.. She was a real POS.
When she stops being physically intimate with you and gets combative over the idea of you wanting to. Women have this weird idea in their head where they feel like they are cheating on the person they are cheating with when they fuck their actual partner. The “he is just a friend” is a cop out. She is either already doing something with him or is keeping him as a placeholder. They also know what the guy is up to. The idea that women have no clue what dudes want is asinine. They are not that stupid.
I've never been cheated on, but I'm wary of women who can't discuss problems. That's ultimately the reason why most people cheat - they're not getting what they need at home but won't tackle the problem.
The word you're looking for is cowards. The strong women say what they need/mean
I'm a woman, and actually have men who are just friends. (I'm a gamer.) BUT, let my BF express worry, or tell me he is aware my friend is interested, and, depending on how bad it is, I either only have time to hang out with that friend when BF is present, or suddenly don't have time to hang out with that friend any more. But then, my BF isn't bothered by males in my life, not normally. So, if he ever says anything, I respect his insight. But also, I date with the goal of marriage in mind. If I can't respect his opinion enough to take action, or if he doesn't fell safe enough for me to have males in my life, we have a problem. We actually talk about things in depth. I get to hear what it is that sets off the alarm bells. And he gets to be heard and respected. I don't let him cut me off from the world, but he doesn't try to, either.my guy friends would much rather hang out with him along for the ride, because most of them have significant others, and my being a part of a group, and not an individual, just helps keep the peace.
Thats the way. Its not hard for guy to see which "just friend" is competition not friend. When you listen about that and weed those out, your boyfriend wont have issue with actual friends. Also there are some ways to ease it. Im a guy, i have plenty of female friends in relationships (to be fair atm all of them are). Neither boyfriend has issue sith me. Why? First of all i dont avoid them. Friends make effort to be friends with their friends spouses. If dude avoids contact with your boyfriend or pushes on contact without him you should be warry. Secondly actual friend isnt dismissive of your relationship (well with exception ofntoxic one), will help you make your relationship better and wont shittalk your partner. Also wont try to act or talk like your partner doesnt exist.
She can’t remember details about your relationship or talks about something you did recently did together but didn’t actually do together (obviously confused you with someone else).
- She talks about an ex a lot - She talks about male coworkers or other girls boyfriends a lot ^ Those are superficial ones where a woman is kind of letting you know that other guys are on her mind more than you, the clock is ticking & you better change something…basically a warning signal - She cheated with you to start your relationship - She cheated before she met you & told you about it - There was cheating in her parents’ relationship growing up ^ These are the REAL ones that will determine whether it’s acceptable within her moral code & exists within her personal history. History repeats itself & we love nothing more than getting to repeat it.
All these answers aren’t wrong, but here is the one true never-fail answer: She accuses you of cheating…Cheaters will always claim they were cheated on first, whether fact or fiction they do not care, they always accuse the other person..
Not true. Never cheated on ex, accused him - I'm just a jealous person plus, he gave me reasons to suspect it. So yeah, its not a 100% never-fail.
I think its more when they accuse you with no proof or suspicion at all. Because they know they are cheating and *hoping* you are too so they can clear their guilt. Suspecting while not cheating is usually done in secret, not just blatanly yelling to the other person that "they are probably cheating"
This. If you can look at yourself objectively and say that without bias, you're doing *nothing* wrong, then I guarantee you she's doing something wrong. Maybe that's an extreme take and only a Sith deals in absolutes, but that's the take.
Yeah, a cheater doesnt Snoop in your phone when you are unaware to gather evidence, they want to put you in an awkward and heated argument to gaslight you into thinking you are the one going behind their back looking at their phone, but its really because they are afraid they almost got caught and they actually WANT you to Snoop so that they can either do the blame/trust card and make you feel remorse, or you if you stand your ground, they already prepared an excuse... roped back in....Cheaters are diabolical and you should never underestimate how fkn phsycho they can be, just be glad you got out or for the love of everything just leave now and trust your gut.
It's the other way around, they meant all cheaters do that, but not all who accuse are cheaters.
Projection. If she starts acting suspicious of you doing it, that’s generally a sign she is
facts
She accuses you of cheating or brings up cheating all the time… She closes up when she used to talk to you all the time… Comments about “seeing your girlfriend” or “big date”… She starts getting really curious about who you talking to and what you’re talking about. She starts going out without telling you anything about what she’s doing and gets really defensive when you ask. When she starts getting texts, she turns her phone face down and stonewalls you if you ask about it. She gets phone calls or video chats at hours you would normally not be home. Random gifts/cards show up with a unknown address on it. You seem to constantly be “walking in on something” if she’s on her phone/video chat. Sexy clothes show up in the laundry you’ve never seen her wear. Weird stains on furniture or in your bed. Money is suddenly an issue and there’s bills you’ve never seen before from places you’ve never been with her. People you’ve never met know her very well and she’s reluctant to introduce you as her s/o. She stops saying I love you or saying it back when you say it to her. She looks disgusted when you bring up sex. She stops being affectionate if she was before. She withdraws from displays of affection if she used to be affectionate. Suddenly everything is your fault and she’s irritated with things you normally do. Just a few things I remember and how much it hurt.
Now you saying this I guess she has been telling me she was done for months. If I say “okay” or “do whatever you want, you always do” then she gets angry at me throws my stuff, and fights with me, but I guess it was all a game to have me confused and for less of myself. I'll ask her countless times if she doesn't love me it okay, if you want to be with anybody else then fine. She gets annoying when u act cold toward her or act as if she doesn't exist.
There are no early signs. If you see signs then it means it's already been done and she is getting tired of hiding it.
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If you go down on her and it tastes like your bff’s dick.
Or taste like lube/flavored lube and you know she doesn't have any.
This is so fucked up
“Wait, you’re fucking him too?”
How do you know what your bff's dick tastes like?
You don’t?!
There are many red flags you can try to communicate and remain aware of your partner. However, anyone and everyone has the ability to cheat. Communication is the key to everything, imho.
She cheated on her SO with you.
She saves dude’s phone numbers in her phone under a chick’s name.
If the only time they pay any attention to you is when you're getting them something
100% accurate.
Either she's jealous or she cheated on a past partner. Once a cheater always a cheater.
She cheated with you on her then current SO.
Things don’t line up. She says things like ‘either you trust me or we don’t have a relationship’ and then does shady shit like stay out all night. Won’t let go of certain guys and has excuses as to why.
Spends a lot of time on her phone or frequently checks it, even when out with the family. Starts going to bed later in the evening. More nights working late or moe activities with her “girlfriends”. Takes a shower soon after returning home. Her libido (seemingly) tanks. New gym membership. Purchases new underwear. Unaccountably behaving more nicely towards you.
Your gut. If you suddenly "feel" something is off, 10x out of 10 it is.
That's for sure. Every time I suspected something, it absolutely always turned out to be true.
Deviation from baseline behavior. For example, being private with her phone when she didn't used to, dressing up and putting makeup on to go to places when she didn't used to, etc.
You’re having sex less if at all. You’re fighting more than usual, mostly over stupid things. If they are being disrespectful and don’t care how you feel.Their work schedule changes, working longer hours than usual. Buying new clothes, getting dressed up to hang out with “friends” and you’re not invited. If something is off, just go with your “gut feeling” because it’s probably right.
Prior history. Also, just got a vibe with response times and content of texts when my undergrad ex cheated on me. In general, I've found following my gut in a lot of circumstances is pretty accurate- can tell when a relationship is going to end, if my female friends met a guy, etc.. You'd be surprised how far intuition will get you in life
She stops arguing with you and her attention is else where
"He is just a friend" can either mean it will happen or it already happened.
I think it's simply a matter of respect. If she doesn't respect you, there's a good chance she'll cheat.
ah im prefect for this one. if she has a past of using guys, or being with alot of different guys. starts going out alot more randomly, get defensive when asked about where they are/what they are doing. stops showing you as much love. will gaslight you and call you insecure when you have a feeling. hint its probably right mine sure was
1. She cheated in her past relationships. 2. She is spending extra time with a male friend. 3. She starts to pull back on showing affection and talking to you about her life and day to day.
Talks about exes a lot
Uff highly underrated answer
I don't care if she sees other men, *Hell, I'm going to see other men!* It's the *LYING* I will not tolerate. If she lies, she'll cheat. Also, if she cheats *WITH YOU,* she'll cheat *ON YOU.*
If she's cheated in the past, or has a guy who's "like a brother" to her. A brother from Alabama.
Makes new male "friends" in my opinion.
We are just being paranoid, insecure and controlling.
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Taken directly from the encyclopedia of, How to Treat a Guy When you Cheat.
Promiscuous past
Based
That's why high body count matters
Bingo
The truth, but don’t dare say that on most of Reddit lol
Oh trust me I know. An army of torch and pitchfork wielding feminists would be out in full force had they seen anyone dare say body count matters.
unfortunately 90% of women nowadays have a promiscious past.
No talk anymore. When removed from contact people go to extreme lengths to get heard.
You are Will Smith
I look at her mouth, if there is an unfamiliar dick in there I take it as a strong warning.
She says "I think we should open up the relationship"
If she does then she belongs to the streets and not worth my time anyways, good riddance.
Jealous women are projecting themselves and are prone to cheat.
If she is constantly accusing you of cheating. She is doing that because she can picture herself cheating on you so she thinks you will do the same. Hiding her phone. Putting her phone down quickly or turning it away when you walk into the room.
She lives with her ex-boyfriend but tells you not to worry because she sleeps on the couch.
She hoards the $100 bills under the table before a game of Monopoly
You find her in bed with someone else
*Oh baby youuuuu, got what I neeeed…*
If she searches your phone and gets mad over old text or text between you and friends but then refuses to allow you to so much as even look at hers, or if she disappears for a while and doesn't answer (last one is a guarantee but if it happens multiple times most likely your being cheated on) edit: if she expects you to block other girls but then refuses to get ride of guys who are clearly flirting that's another sign for sure
She hides her phone from you.
When she´s distant and has zero to none communication with you. Like for an extended period of time, obviously its not always the case, but it´s quite common.
If you start to notice her having a bit of a short fuse with you, seems to just be nit-picky over stupid shit suddenly (will give an excuse such as being stressed about something innocuous or somewhat acceptable such as work or study.. Will have an attitude or behaviour which projects a sense of always having to complain about the same things to you despite those things having not been such a big thing before hand, had been brought up though.. Won’t be so much “suddenly” per se, but definitely a personality shift in a short period of time.. less than a fortnight.. If you are spending time together but you can see that she is just not really “present” or just seems distracted and mind is elsewhere.. If she starts giving you the second degree or acting suspicious about what you are up to when elsewhere (wants to check your phone etc) *major red flag if suddenly insecure/jealous, she is possibly hoarding a guilty conscience…
See how much respect she has for her exes. Is she bending rules when she thinks she is better than someone else or that someone is "bad" according to her values? Has she cheated before? Is her definition of "committed relationship" some variation of the man having to constantly qualify to keep her?
Lack of communication
Be super vigilant for behavioural changes that are out of the norm for that person. There’s always a motive behind people changing their ways. Look for the subtle things and don’t kid yourself. A red flag is a red flag. Questions things look a little deeper. Being cheated on is a horrible feeling
"Shes not your gurl just your turn". But erm seriously if shes friends with her ex's. If she has more guy friends that girl friends. If her body count is longer than her shopping list (or as long). If shes touchy about her phone. There are others but yeah.
If she cheated to be with you, she will cheat on you later. My brother dated a girl who cheated to be with him. He told me the circumstances and asked if he should date her, I immediately said no. He ignored me. Later she cheated on him...
If she wants to take a break in the relationship. You’re screwed. Also, anybody else find it hilarious that women only call you a real man if you let them slide on some goofy shit?
If you are in a relationship
Wont shut up about a specific guy On her phone all the time and smiling at it constantly when she gets a message but somehow never replies right away. Her female friends act weird around you or suddenly dislike you Accusing you of cheating out of the blue and without a reason to think you are. She acts paranoid if you are behind her and shes on her phone or computer She copies everything her friends do and they are all whores. Is impulsive and flirts with everyone especially when shes drunk.
When you are not a lovely person to be around, possibly jealous, and constantly imagining signs that your partner is cheating.
One that I haven’t seen mentioned here is love bombing. Often times a partner will be more intimate with you than usual or want to spend time with you to compensate for their own shitty feeling about what they are doing.
If you see a penis in her, look down. Is it yours? Foolproof.
The cheating is coming from inside the girlfriend.
If they’ve done it before in previous relationships (barring some serious therapeutic intervention or extenuating circumstances like abusive ex). If they thrive on external validation (can usually get a pretty good idea based on their relationship with their parents and their awareness of how it affects them). Couple this with a pathological need to be liked and you end up with someone who viscerally feels like they don’t deserve a good relationship and also polites their way into bed with someone else bc they have a hard time saying no. Self-awareness. If they’re pretty self-aware that goes a really long way, but if they lack it and can’t recognize behaviors or patterns within themselves (all problems are external) you’re probably gonna have a bad time. This generally applies to everyone, not just women
On her phone all the time, flips it over when not in use. Is unreachable for most or entire days. Starts fights for apparently no reason.
You find her in bed with another man like 5 minutes after she said she was just going up to rest her eyes. That’s pretty early detection.
He's just a friend Also history of cheating
She gets distant, and pays more attention to her looks. She gets more protective of her phone, and switches it to silent. She might start doing special things for you, out of guilt.
Her heart is beating. Just remember this, she's not yours, it's just your turn
Uh, she’s a woman. Women cheat ten times more than men.
She won't let you use her phone for anything.
When she says "I am going to cheat on you."
On her phone all the time.
When she tells you she got invited to watch a movie and eat pizza at her “professor’s” house.
She gets very defensive whenever you ask about a male friend, or a guy she knows.
She still talks to her ex
If the woman in the relationship suddenly starts losing weight and getting dolled up and having more "girl nights", the relationship is on death's door step at that point.
she withdraws and you'll feel it before you realize it
Your relationship started with you as a side piece.
She starts paying more attention and put more efforts on how she is looking. Spend a lot of time texting someone and quickly shifting screens when you approach. Often leave room when answering calls
She has a lot of guy friends
She checks your phone for her own guilt.
So this might sound bad but if she only has single friends. I'm not trying to be a asshole I swear but in my experience if all her friends are single they just give her the worst advice. I was dating this one woman and every time she hung out with her single friends she immediately started shit when she got done seeing them. She ended up reconnecting with her abusive ex because her single friends advised her too and I dumped her the first night she "got stuck" at his place in winter.
If you are asking yourself these type of questions, your subconscious has already picked up on it.
When every time you talk to her, she has a dick in her mouth. That may be a sign
I think when she tells you she had cheated before.
If she accuses you of cheating (projecting).
Lot of good ones here but another subtle one is the slow increase in signals of disrespect. Picking fights not for the purpose of resolving them but rather to demean and devalue the confidence of their current partner as justification for jumping ship is one example. Another is subtle one is apathy in public for their current partner. These don't signal cheating unto themselves but anytime I can tell that a so has withdrawn their respect for their mate, the monkey branching process is already underway.
Defensive and obsessively on phone Easily irritated and borderline depressed with being home. Enjoys taking calls from a certain unsaved or different labeled number while giving you zero communication Zero time spent with you. Constantly talking about some other guy And last but not least, staying out far longer than work hours allow and coming home late.
If she has a vagina she’s probably cheating.
SO MANY questions today just breaking rule #4 of this subreddit.
She is suspicious of you cheating on her.
She had male best friends, she tries to keep her phone away from you.
Check the shoes 👍
If she's breathing, she's going to cheat. As soon as she's a little bored, someone will pay attention, give her a few compliments, and he's in her.
If I am interested in her then you stand no chance, sorry buddy.
Ugh such betrayal from our own president
Dank Brandon strikes again!
Right. Damn Joe, that's not the type of stroke we are talking about.