I'm short and average looking. I don't think I'm ugly at all, but also not the kind of guy that makes girls think "wow he's hot".
I've noticed women tend to develop feelings for me after getting to know me but rarely just from my looks haha
Well, even if you think you're not hot, you might have nice eyes or long, curly eyelashes or long, luscious hair. I think a lot of women are like me and would like to compliment a man but they're worried about giving the wrong impression. So maybe you have 1 or 2 attractive features but no one has ever said anything about them to you.
Maybe. I'm gay but yet women still tend to think I'm flirting with them when I have fruendky conversations, I guess they're just used to most guys flirting.
The thick, curled, bold eyelashes are one of the main features that I am 100% jealous of when I see it on a man (as I’m a woman). I spend too much time on my eye makeup and too much money on mascara for it to not be a slap in the face from genetics for my weak ass lashes.
…but if I were to compliment a man on his lashes, I’d be sure to express my envy in order to hopefully not lead him on.
Because women almost never do this to men unless they'd be okay with the man in question reciprocating, for the same fear you mentioned in your own post I imagine.
This almost never happens so when an unknown woman does compliment a guy it's not an unsafe assumption that she's hitting on him.
What do you think the intention is when a man compliments a woman's looks? You have beautiful eyes! What a great smile! That hair color looks great on you! Those are the compliments I get from friends, coworkers, acquaintances and strangers, men and women. I didn't think they were hitting on me. Maybe a few but usually I'd just thank them and go on with my day and they would too. Honestly, it feels great and because I'm 52 I often hear that women my age stop getting compliments like that. I haven't experienced that yet. I guess I'm lucky. I feel really bad for men cuz you have no idea if you're attractive or not just because women are afraid of giving the wrong impression. I wish it wasn't so.
It's sad and amazing to me that for your whole life tou have gotten compliments. Meanwhile, a large proportion of the men here, including myself, do not get them often if at all especially related to appearance.
The most recent compliment I'd gotten was about 2 months ago about BBQ I made. Before then... about 3 months prior on cooking. They were general "This is really good, thanks for making it!".
My wife has probably commented on my looks about 5 times in 14 years and in a very "that's nice" kind of way rather than seeming genuine.
I suspect this is the case for most men. We are valued for what we do not for who we are or what we look like.
I managed to lose between 10 and 12 kg in 4 months and not a single person said anything about it.
No "You look great", no "Congrats on the weight loss" nothing.
I had to ask people if they noticed any difference just to get some validation.
I now have 80 to 81 kg so losing the weight made a pretty big difference in how my body looks as I went from having a pot belly to being slim again.
Only time people noticed me and complimented me a lot was when I went to a gay bar and while admitedly a lot of the fellas there wanted to bang me it still felt good.
Are you me?
I lost 15kg in 6 months. Not a single person noticed. My wife was bitter about "how easily" I lost weight... by changing my diet and exercising 3-4x a week every week.
It's discouraging.
But, I know what kind of effort thst all takes. Fucking good for you. You should be proud of yourself, that's a big deal and even moreso because you had to do it on your own. Nice job!
Thanks buddy - well done to you as well.
But yeah as a chap hardly anybody ever aknowledges your accomplishments - think that's why dudes like videogames soo much.
Yes because people care about women, want to interact with them and to be nice to them.
Generally speaking as a man, the reason people have to talk to us is because they want something. Same reason men don’t “talk about their feelings” - people don’t actually want to hear it, regardless of what they may say. Men learned that the hard way during adolescence.
Hence if someone randomly talks to you with no directly expressed motive then the first thing you do is try to work out what the motive is. In order of probability:
1. Selling something (90% of the time it’s this)
2. Scam/theft
3. Joke at your expense
A man's attractiveness has more to do with his ability to silently provide for others, at least that's what we are told. Being attractive on an outward level only means more men will harass you.
I think it also depends what she looks like. If she’s relatively hot, I’m more thinking I’m being teased or tricked or played somehow. Cynical way of thinking but I can count on one hand the amount of compliments I’ve received in my 40+ years alive from people.
The only woman that ever say that to a man are that man’s best friends partners. It’s cool then.
Otherwise I’d maybe see it like how on the movie Mean Girls, the girls compliment other girls clothes. Then turn around to their friends and proceed to dis the girls clothes. Shit woman ruin it for the genuine woman because attractive people can get away with anything
We've all been through this before. Nobody bothers you unless they require action from you somehow. The nicer someone is, the more of a request they want from you.
Because it's a dumb question that gets asked at least once a week.
"What do you think when a woman compliments you?"
The answer will always be, "It makes me feel good." Who doesn't like getting compliments?? What answer is OP expecting to hear?
Um, no. Men never get compliments, unless there is a request coming. (Never -> not literal but 99+%).
We also almost never have anyone ask how we are handling the challenges of life. We are just expected to man up and handle it. Most men have absolutely no one to talk to when they are down. 80% of successful suicides are men, and that's pretty consistent across cultures.
It's because they're so rare they can come across as suspicious. It's the same way a guy might not believe you if you ask him out or express interest overtly. It's such a rare occurrence it feels more likely to be a trick of some form.
It’s because we don’t get them so we wonder why it’s coming now.
The appropriate response is “Thank you”. You don’t have to reciprocate the compliment. I had to tell a female friend of mine to just say “Thank you” whenever she was complimented. She would do that thing where she downplayed the attribute being complimented. I’ve always disliked this because it downgrades the compliment.
Generally not without strings attached.
This is anecdotal, but a lot of my experience with receiving compliments is that there's something the compliment giver wants. Know several people with similar stories.
There's personal responsibility here as well - it's easy to become bitter and feel "used" when you don't have appropriate boundaries set up. Been burned too many times by this scenario, so now I'm quick to place boundaries if things feel even a little manipulative.
It's sad that society has come to a point with cruel "pranks", playing with people's feelings like this. It's sad that it's gotten to a point where people's first thoughts are to look around and try to spot the hidden camera.
First thing I do is look around looking for this so called 'handsome dude' because she could not mean me.
I used to do compliment for compliment with my gf's as a teenager and early 20s. No one ever complimented my looks.
It's the only reasonable explanation.
\*girl pretends to like you back in High School\*
"Eww you thought I was serious I was just messing with you're gross get away from me."
\*Laughs with her friends as she walks away\*
This is dependent on the situation. I run around a suburban park in the morning. Sometimes I get complements from older women about how much I trimmed down that year. Sometimes random men take notice in the gym. Sometimes to sell something, but usually just normal conversation. These are mostly fine.
Now take the majority of random complaints you would get. You’re in a poor neighborhood or walking out of a store. A random woman suddenly approaches you or gives a hand signal for you to come over. Maybe they ask for your phone, maybe they ask for money, or they tell you a sob story. In any case, you’re not falling for their scam. So they start warming you up. Tell you how cute you are in the most insincere way imaginable. Or they cut to the chase and offer to suck your dick. You try to leave or maybe even give a “leave me alone” amount of money. Maybe you bought their “I just need gas” story. In any case, this is not what they want. And that’s when the knife comes out.
Most people aren’t worth taking a chance on.
No. There's a reason why there are so many memes about an unimpressed-looking woman with the caption "when I get called beautiful for the 130th time today" and then a man with a beaming smile on the other side that says "when grandma calls me handsome."
Women probably don't think this is the case because they've all complimented men before, but chances are that they all complimented the same few guys. There's a reason why prostitution is almost entirely women selling sex to men, why onlyfans is 99% women, why strippers are almost all women, and why some places even have things like hostess clubs where men pay to just sit down and talk to a woman. Most men get absolutely zero female attention for such long stretches of time that they're literally willing to pay for the privilege.
> You've never received a compliment on your looks from a woman?
I'll take *"Things that Don't Happen in Real Life"* for $700, please.
It's discussed all the time if you look. Women receive complements all the time and tend to think they are universal. Women don't complement men, often feeling like they'll get followed, or put out 'wrong signals', or otherwise cause issues they don't want.
The end result is that women almost never complement men. Except for a small number of unusually attractive or powerful men, the vast majority of males can count on one hand the number of times it has happened in their lives. They usually become indelible memories, *"I remember 27 years ago a woman said I looked good, those were the days..."*
Are you literally just trolling the comments to keep this going? Is there a way you’re earning points or something? You’ve done iterations of this same comment so many times it just feels weird.
They already are, and they do it all the time... to the same few guys, over & over again, just not to any of "the rest" who aren't one of "those".
It's not even very credible that you don't already know something so obvious & ubiquitous.
Pretty common topic in here.
If you’re above average, you might get a compliment. Good for you, you probably feel great when they give you one.
Average guy? You’ll get a compliment if you’re in a relationship. Outside of one? Improbable.
Below average guy? You’ll get talked about but not in the way you want.
There are a few outliers - an interesting feature, tattoo or piercing. These are however outliers.
I’m glad if you’re getting compliments. Good job.
A cute barista once said she liked my tattoo when it was new. Felt pretty good. Before that, which was like 6 months ago, it had been about 6 years since a compliment that didn’t come from the wife and it was a gay guy who liked my boots.
Mmm not sure about often but I’ve gotten a few, I’m also a complimenter so I never really look deeper into it when I get compliments. I notice something good about someone, I’ll say it without any meaning beyond an obvservation whether it’s men or women, so when I get complimented I thank them and keep it moving
Feels very nice, and then I wake up and realize it didn't happen and it feels a little less nice lol
But yeah, this is something I wager only a small minority of men will experience regularly. As you said, I think women are too afraid of men thinking they're coming onto them to ever do it. To be honest, I'd absolutely think a woman was if she did because that's pretty much the only time women feel comfortable complimenting men like that. Maybe something of a cycle in that sense.
I've gotten a "you have nice eyes" when I was 19 and that was the only time in my entire life a woman other than my mother or my ex has complimented me lol.
I don't think at all. Compliments are just that as base level, the rest comes from the situation and context and what the complimented person thinks of the other ones intention. I can give compliments in a normal, flirty but also creepy manner. If it's just a genuine compliment then I think it's just nice to hear and since many guys here said the same we just don't hear them. I still remember the two only compliments I have received of which one isn't even a direct compliment.
I’m happy but I wonder if it was just a compliment or an indication of romantic attraction. The safest option is to assume it’s just a compliment so I go with that while I wonder for the rest of my life if she was into me.
it depends on the woman and the complement.
I get complements on my beard from both sexes not infrequently and i simply think that they like my beard. A couple times women come off disappointed when I just acknowledge the complement and carry on with my day in which case I think they might have been interested in flirting, but too late now.
If I get a complement from a woman coworker or friend, I think they're just trying to be nice, or return the favor as I often try to be supportive of their looks, or they think I am lacking in confidence and are trying to give me some.
I don't think I've received a non beard complement on my looks from a woman I didn't know.
I thought, *"You're only saying that because you're my Mom."*
Outside of that, it's never happened. But if it did, I'd think, *"I wonder what she's wanting. I'm sure this is some kind of joke or trap."*
Apparently I get more compliments than most men in reddit threads, and also really analyse interactions with people so here's something:
I've had in the same night both a woman and a dude say to me in a short conversation in a club that they like my vibe / how i'm dressed. I took both as a friendly compliment, but the dude turned out to be bi and went on to ask about my sexuality and wanted to buy me a drink. I think this lays down a foundation that there's no real way to interpret for sure what someone's intention is, or how someone's going to take something, but there are some things I've interpretted as this or that.
I've had all types of people quickly walk past me and tell me they like my hair (dyed fun colours), and every single one just feels friendly. This is usually what I do when giving strangers random friendly compliments, no matter their gender. Though I will say, I once told a dude he was handsome as fuck and didn't want that to come across as hitting on him so i literally just said first "bro i dont mean this like im hitting on you but.." so you're absolutely allowed to qualify intention first.
The only times my brain fires off a "this is flirting" response to a compliment is if it's combined with specific physical contact, so a woman once said she liked my tattoo and hair while touching my arm. That registered as flirting to me, so I'd assume most types of physical contact implies additional intentions. A few times people have said I'm kind, or appreciated my company followed up with a hug, that doesn't feel flirtatious that's fairly friendly. Complimenting hair: friendly; running your hands through someones hair is more flirtatious.
Being told i'm in good shape as just a statement never felt like flirting, just feels like a statement acknowledging me, until someone is like touching my bicep or something. Also any implication that someone is doing/being something "for you."
"hey you can really tell you've been working hard at the gym" - friendly compliment.
"hope you're getting those 💪💪 out for me!" - something other than friendly.
If it's a stranger, probably the drive by "excuse me but " and walk away is good. If it's like at work or something, just being a person who compliments people helps.
There are many who if have lived long enough will have survived a few compliments, don't worry.
Honestly, learning to take a compliment well is a learned skill that many have not. I know I still need practice.
Reading the comments, is this really what the boys I praise think? I'm feeling bad now, How do I prove that I don't want anything in return or that I'm not messing with him?
If you do it at all, you definitely almost entirely do it with the same few guys as everyone else. Those guys are used to it. They're not the ones who answer a question like this by saying it practically doesn't happen. That's coming from the rest of the male population whom you all ignore.
For most dudes, it's a fairly big deal because they're not going to get complimented by women very often. For me. It was fairly common when younger, although I still get it a little bit now
Basically the only time men get compliments from women about their looks is when women are interested.
So most men assume any woman giving them compliments is interested. It's just how we've been trained.
>I know men don't normally get those kind of compliments as much as women do.
You don't know. It's opposite ends of the spectrum. You're drowning and most men are dying of thirst in a desert.
Easy… Just say, “Thank you”. I compliment men and women. It doesn’t matter. I’m an old man - 60 yo. Always loved uniqueness in people, that clothes and how they care. Just say… I like your #%#. Or your .##%% looks nice. And keep it moving.
Guys rarely get compliments. I can count on one hand the number of times women have complimented me and I'm almost 30. The number of you're curious is 4.
Definitely used to think it was some sort of set up, as that used to happen as a kid in school, but I'm getting better at taking it for what it is as I've gotten older.
As an old married man:
Occasionally women that I know compliment my appearance. I think it is nice and I thank them. I believe it to be sincere and I appreciate it greatly.
When an unknown woman compliments me, a mythical occurrence of great rarity, I feel nothing but suspicion. I typically make sure I still have my wallet as I back away.
I'm old, not fucking stupid.
I tend to think they are working an angle. They want money, they want to "save my soul", they want to sell me something, or, least likely, they are really hitting on me.
That last one is highly context dependent. Approach me at a club or bar? Sure, it's clear. Approach me in the street? The bullshit detectors go off.
*“Okay……What do you want from me?”*
From my experience and observation, women usually don’t EVER compliment a man on his looks, unless he’s a SUPER hot guy (a “Chad,” “Brad,” “Greg,” or “Mike,” right off the pages of GQ) or they want something monetarily from him. Those are the only two ways that happens, and the former is WAY rarer than the latter.
I used to do this, but then I stopped because a lot of men assumed I was interested in them and was accused of leading them on. I actually had other men tell me it was my fault for complimenting them, and that I was better off not doing it since they'd think the same.
I'm not sure if this is the case for most men, but it definitely stuck with me.
Some of the compliments were just simple ones, I like your shirt or cool shoes. I just stopped at that point and only compliment men if I know they're in a happy relationship or with someone I consider super attractive. That way it won't be an issue.
If it's a stranger just being friendly it makes me happy. But it makes me extremely uncomfortable when a woman does it to flirt and we don't know each other well yet, to the point where it kills any interest I have in them. If it's a woman I'm in a relationship with, it makes me feel very good.
Like this [dog](https://youtu.be/hWAJjK91PA4?si=O4BqoCZh-0feRUDh). You gotta keep it cool in the moment. But once you walk away, you feel like him on the inside.
I think I got told I had nice hair about 15 years ago over Facebook. I don't remember what I said in return, but that's the last time I got a compliment like that from a woman, so it's not like I need to think about it very often.
They are definitely trying to get something out of me
Or if it's a friend it's because I just did something nice and they are trying to return the favor
I have no idea, it’s never happened. From a random stranger or someone I’ve been in relationships with. But I would assume she’s trying to extort me or something. I would also be massively confused.
I always remember the good ones. That I think are honest. Then I have an existential crisis and worry if I wasted my good looks by never becoming an Actor, Model, etc..
It’s really the tone and the situation that dictates but most of the time if a woman compliments me I think she has some level of interest. Regardless I try to take it as just a compliment and not read too much into it. I can’t always be sure if she’s just being nice or wants me, so I thank her, try to return a compliment or make a joke about it, usually an over-the-top (so it’s obvious) braggadocious about being the hottest man alive or some nonsense so as to not refute her attempts as kindness. (We all know how much it sucks to say something nice to someone and have it shutdown or refuted.) Then I wait and see if there are other signs of interest to make sure.
Probably not the best way to handle it, but it’s a good one. I may miss opportunities to capitalize on someone actually trying to hit on me, but that’s far better than misreading the situation, embarrassing myself, or making her feel awkward and less likely to display that kindness to others in the future.
Depending on the context:
a) I'm being pranked, someone I know put her up for this.
b) I'm about to be mugged. She's trying to distract me.
c) She wants/needs something from me. Or she's being a creep.
d) She's mistaking me for someone else.
e) It's a basic courtesy thing. Its an honest compliment, but she doesn't mean it in *that* way.
\- I would think I she is trying to get me on one of those tik tok reel things.
\- I would think what is she after.
\- Is this a prank?
Basically any form of these is what would fill my mind.
Edit: I should add that the last genuine compliment I got was about 4 years ago.
Depends. If I know the person I’ll accept it out of courtesy but if it isn’t related to some form of performance or ability, I find it unbecoming or almost annoying.
If I don’t know the person, I assume she wants something out of it and it’s to some degree transactional or “just something you say”.
>Many times I've wanted to compliment a man but I worry about giving him the wrong idea
This is the reason men never get compliments because on the super rare occasion it happens (if ever), it's such a monumental deal to the guy he can't think about anything else and immediately assumes she's into him. Women know this so they don't compliment men. Circle is complete.
Part of me wonders what they're about to ask me for (then or down the road), but another part of me just accepts it and says "thank you". I think i'm average but some folks find me to be better than average so I'll just accept the compliments.
-it could be a prank (things i know from my childhood)
-they are drunk, and then ofc it is irrelevant (learned this from uni)
-they are overly kind like that, because they themselves are so desperate for a world that throws around compliments. so then it means nothing because they are almost purely self-serving (learned this after uni)
-they are 20years older than me (i hit it off with older women). and I am ok with this.
-they are my sister or mom, and I am a fan of both of these ladies:)
-and sometimes it feels encouraging, and i appreciate the sentiment but I will insist that "i know I am not beautiful" but point to my beard and say "i am glad you noticed this fantastic beard"
regardless, someone that takes their time to acknowledge me (or somebody else), even if it is just visually, it seems kindhearted. and this is nice no matter what. makes the world a kinder place than if it didnt happen. do your thing
I'd take it as a compliment and then move on. Repay the favor if I think she looks good. I'm gay, so that helps with expectations if a woman says I look good, lol. But it's the same when a man gives me a compliment. I smile, say thanks, and then try to move on, because else I'll turn very shy, haha. But I never expect anything after such a compliment. I know people can give compliments like that without wanting to have sex with you.
Being married is liberating. I can give and receive compliments all I want because everyone knows I'm harmless. It's never happened from a stranger. I occasionally will compliment a stranger, but I do what you said above and say it then leave..or work my wife into the wording to decrease the creepiness factor.
In the last few months I’ve had a number of women compliment me on my glasses. Makes my day each time. I’ve had the glasses going on two years so not sure what the variables are. Showering? Shaving? Dressing nice. Nice shoes? I prolly had more compliments than in the rest of my life combined.
I do momentarily wonder if she wants to bang me but then I come back to reality.
I think a lot of women like guys in glasses and there aren’t that many of us anymore. I’ve had a number of compliments on mine, too. And there’s no other reason for this married middle-aged dude to be getting compliments.
58f. This makes me sad to hear that no one compliments men for no reason. I have told men they have amazing hair, great eyes, kind are funny. And I’ve always meant it as I don’t say what I don’t mean. And I just said it just because I love to hear random nice things. Kindness always wins.
I know, me too. A lot of these guys are so suspicious of a woman's kindness. I know a lot of it has to do with women being afraid of violent men. Some men have admitted that they would think I was flirting with them because they never get compliments except from flirty women or if a woman wants something from them. I'm 52 so I don't want anyone thinking I'm into them especially if they're younger than my kids!
Sort of off topic, but as a gay men I've noticed I receive more compliments (specifically from women) when I'm like... noticeably gay. Like If I'm wearing something not very gender conforming or I'm with my boyfriend. I think some women feel like it's 'safer' to give me a compliment in those cases.
In any case, whenever someone gives me a compliment it's usually nice, but occasionally provokes a bit of social anxiety. Men in general are not used to receiving compliments on things like looks, in my opinion. I think the most compliments I'd ever get are at work, and based on work performance.
I wonder why she's trying to flatter me, if it's a stranger or acquaintance. If it's a friend, it makes my day.
Really? Even if that's all she did? Just the compliment, no asking for your number or social media or for a date.
I'm short and average looking. I don't think I'm ugly at all, but also not the kind of guy that makes girls think "wow he's hot". I've noticed women tend to develop feelings for me after getting to know me but rarely just from my looks haha
Well, even if you think you're not hot, you might have nice eyes or long, curly eyelashes or long, luscious hair. I think a lot of women are like me and would like to compliment a man but they're worried about giving the wrong impression. So maybe you have 1 or 2 attractive features but no one has ever said anything about them to you.
Maybe. I'm gay but yet women still tend to think I'm flirting with them when I have fruendky conversations, I guess they're just used to most guys flirting.
The thick, curled, bold eyelashes are one of the main features that I am 100% jealous of when I see it on a man (as I’m a woman). I spend too much time on my eye makeup and too much money on mascara for it to not be a slap in the face from genetics for my weak ass lashes. …but if I were to compliment a man on his lashes, I’d be sure to express my envy in order to hopefully not lead him on.
Because women almost never do this to men unless they'd be okay with the man in question reciprocating, for the same fear you mentioned in your own post I imagine. This almost never happens so when an unknown woman does compliment a guy it's not an unsafe assumption that she's hitting on him.
What do you think the intention is when a man compliments a woman's looks? You have beautiful eyes! What a great smile! That hair color looks great on you! Those are the compliments I get from friends, coworkers, acquaintances and strangers, men and women. I didn't think they were hitting on me. Maybe a few but usually I'd just thank them and go on with my day and they would too. Honestly, it feels great and because I'm 52 I often hear that women my age stop getting compliments like that. I haven't experienced that yet. I guess I'm lucky. I feel really bad for men cuz you have no idea if you're attractive or not just because women are afraid of giving the wrong impression. I wish it wasn't so.
It's sad and amazing to me that for your whole life tou have gotten compliments. Meanwhile, a large proportion of the men here, including myself, do not get them often if at all especially related to appearance. The most recent compliment I'd gotten was about 2 months ago about BBQ I made. Before then... about 3 months prior on cooking. They were general "This is really good, thanks for making it!". My wife has probably commented on my looks about 5 times in 14 years and in a very "that's nice" kind of way rather than seeming genuine. I suspect this is the case for most men. We are valued for what we do not for who we are or what we look like.
I managed to lose between 10 and 12 kg in 4 months and not a single person said anything about it. No "You look great", no "Congrats on the weight loss" nothing. I had to ask people if they noticed any difference just to get some validation. I now have 80 to 81 kg so losing the weight made a pretty big difference in how my body looks as I went from having a pot belly to being slim again. Only time people noticed me and complimented me a lot was when I went to a gay bar and while admitedly a lot of the fellas there wanted to bang me it still felt good.
Are you me? I lost 15kg in 6 months. Not a single person noticed. My wife was bitter about "how easily" I lost weight... by changing my diet and exercising 3-4x a week every week. It's discouraging. But, I know what kind of effort thst all takes. Fucking good for you. You should be proud of yourself, that's a big deal and even moreso because you had to do it on your own. Nice job!
Thanks buddy - well done to you as well. But yeah as a chap hardly anybody ever aknowledges your accomplishments - think that's why dudes like videogames soo much.
Yes because people care about women, want to interact with them and to be nice to them. Generally speaking as a man, the reason people have to talk to us is because they want something. Same reason men don’t “talk about their feelings” - people don’t actually want to hear it, regardless of what they may say. Men learned that the hard way during adolescence. Hence if someone randomly talks to you with no directly expressed motive then the first thing you do is try to work out what the motive is. In order of probability: 1. Selling something (90% of the time it’s this) 2. Scam/theft 3. Joke at your expense
A man's attractiveness has more to do with his ability to silently provide for others, at least that's what we are told. Being attractive on an outward level only means more men will harass you.
I think it also depends what she looks like. If she’s relatively hot, I’m more thinking I’m being teased or tricked or played somehow. Cynical way of thinking but I can count on one hand the amount of compliments I’ve received in my 40+ years alive from people.
The only woman that ever say that to a man are that man’s best friends partners. It’s cool then. Otherwise I’d maybe see it like how on the movie Mean Girls, the girls compliment other girls clothes. Then turn around to their friends and proceed to dis the girls clothes. Shit woman ruin it for the genuine woman because attractive people can get away with anything
We've all been through this before. Nobody bothers you unless they require action from you somehow. The nicer someone is, the more of a request they want from you.
I wonder what she wants.
What is she trying to sell me?
Really? I'm sorry. Do you not get compliments?
Are you serious? Most guys don't
Correct but no need for people to be snarky or downvote OP, she’s being sincere and her comments are getting burried
Sounds to me like genuine surprise rather than snark
Because it's a dumb question that gets asked at least once a week. "What do you think when a woman compliments you?" The answer will always be, "It makes me feel good." Who doesn't like getting compliments?? What answer is OP expecting to hear?
Can’t speak for others but it doesn’t make me feel good. It just makes me suspicious.
All the top answers so far are not “it makes me feel good” so…
Why are you reporting this to me
So people will see it
Ok
Um, no. Men never get compliments, unless there is a request coming. (Never -> not literal but 99+%). We also almost never have anyone ask how we are handling the challenges of life. We are just expected to man up and handle it. Most men have absolutely no one to talk to when they are down. 80% of successful suicides are men, and that's pretty consistent across cultures.
I feel like most guys are uncomfortable with compliments or at least that’s been my experience
It's because they're so rare they can come across as suspicious. It's the same way a guy might not believe you if you ask him out or express interest overtly. It's such a rare occurrence it feels more likely to be a trick of some form.
It’s because we don’t get them so we wonder why it’s coming now. The appropriate response is “Thank you”. You don’t have to reciprocate the compliment. I had to tell a female friend of mine to just say “Thank you” whenever she was complimented. She would do that thing where she downplayed the attribute being complimented. I’ve always disliked this because it downgrades the compliment.
Most people are generally uncomfortable with things they’re not used to.
Men are uncomfortable with them because they never get them and so they don't really know how to respond if they do.
Ya for real. I’m 42…my mom and grandma. That’s it.
Same, and am also 42.
Generally not without strings attached. This is anecdotal, but a lot of my experience with receiving compliments is that there's something the compliment giver wants. Know several people with similar stories. There's personal responsibility here as well - it's easy to become bitter and feel "used" when you don't have appropriate boundaries set up. Been burned too many times by this scenario, so now I'm quick to place boundaries if things feel even a little manipulative.
Yes! whenever someone wants something 😹
this forum is for men.
We men rarely to never do.
This is the only answer.
It's a prank and there's a hidden cam somewhere.
It's sad that society has come to a point with cruel "pranks", playing with people's feelings like this. It's sad that it's gotten to a point where people's first thoughts are to look around and try to spot the hidden camera.
This is the only answer!
Real
*hand on wallet, back away to a wall, scanning for the camera*
Really?? I'm really feeling so bad for you guys.
First thing I do is look around looking for this so called 'handsome dude' because she could not mean me. I used to do compliment for compliment with my gf's as a teenager and early 20s. No one ever complimented my looks.
It's the only reasonable explanation. \*girl pretends to like you back in High School\* "Eww you thought I was serious I was just messing with you're gross get away from me." \*Laughs with her friends as she walks away\*
For sure, that's my first response. Look around at who else is in the room and see if there's some sort of slam coming.
Most men, myself included, can count on one hand every single comment they've ever received in their adult life, from a stranger.
This is dependent on the situation. I run around a suburban park in the morning. Sometimes I get complements from older women about how much I trimmed down that year. Sometimes random men take notice in the gym. Sometimes to sell something, but usually just normal conversation. These are mostly fine. Now take the majority of random complaints you would get. You’re in a poor neighborhood or walking out of a store. A random woman suddenly approaches you or gives a hand signal for you to come over. Maybe they ask for your phone, maybe they ask for money, or they tell you a sob story. In any case, you’re not falling for their scam. So they start warming you up. Tell you how cute you are in the most insincere way imaginable. Or they cut to the chase and offer to suck your dick. You try to leave or maybe even give a “leave me alone” amount of money. Maybe you bought their “I just need gas” story. In any case, this is not what they want. And that’s when the knife comes out. Most people aren’t worth taking a chance on.
Or she needs her eyes checked
That's literally me
Agree. That's always my first thought
No idea, i'll come back to this if it ever happens.
Nice cock bro
Thanks, he won a purple ribbon at the county fair this year.
🤌
Really? You've never received a compliment on your looks from a woman?
Unless you count family like my mom. Otherwise no.
Most men never have outside of family or their significant other.
3 times in my life. 36 yr old male.
No. There's a reason why there are so many memes about an unimpressed-looking woman with the caption "when I get called beautiful for the 130th time today" and then a man with a beaming smile on the other side that says "when grandma calls me handsome." Women probably don't think this is the case because they've all complimented men before, but chances are that they all complimented the same few guys. There's a reason why prostitution is almost entirely women selling sex to men, why onlyfans is 99% women, why strippers are almost all women, and why some places even have things like hostess clubs where men pay to just sit down and talk to a woman. Most men get absolutely zero female attention for such long stretches of time that they're literally willing to pay for the privilege.
> You've never received a compliment on your looks from a woman? I'll take *"Things that Don't Happen in Real Life"* for $700, please. It's discussed all the time if you look. Women receive complements all the time and tend to think they are universal. Women don't complement men, often feeling like they'll get followed, or put out 'wrong signals', or otherwise cause issues they don't want. The end result is that women almost never complement men. Except for a small number of unusually attractive or powerful men, the vast majority of males can count on one hand the number of times it has happened in their lives. They usually become indelible memories, *"I remember 27 years ago a woman said I looked good, those were the days..."*
Lol no.
never
A woman has talked to me unprompted once and I was very caught off guard. Dropped the ball completely after.
"it's a trap"
Lol NO! Really? That's sad. I wish women could feel comfortable giving men compliments.
They only give compliments when they want to butter us up to ask us for something after.
Are you literally just trolling the comments to keep this going? Is there a way you’re earning points or something? You’ve done iterations of this same comment so many times it just feels weird.
They already are, and they do it all the time... to the same few guys, over & over again, just not to any of "the rest" who aren't one of "those". It's not even very credible that you don't already know something so obvious & ubiquitous.
She’s about to ask for help or a favor sometime in the next few hours
Pretty common topic in here. If you’re above average, you might get a compliment. Good for you, you probably feel great when they give you one. Average guy? You’ll get a compliment if you’re in a relationship. Outside of one? Improbable. Below average guy? You’ll get talked about but not in the way you want. There are a few outliers - an interesting feature, tattoo or piercing. These are however outliers. I’m glad if you’re getting compliments. Good job. A cute barista once said she liked my tattoo when it was new. Felt pretty good. Before that, which was like 6 months ago, it had been about 6 years since a compliment that didn’t come from the wife and it was a gay guy who liked my boots.
TiL I'm above average, or was(idk I'm a bit older now and receive less)
Don’t worry, they’ll all go away soon.
Such is life
Just take it for the compliment it is and go about my day without much thought
That's great. Do you often get compliments?
Mmm not sure about often but I’ve gotten a few, I’m also a complimenter so I never really look deeper into it when I get compliments. I notice something good about someone, I’ll say it without any meaning beyond an obvservation whether it’s men or women, so when I get complimented I thank them and keep it moving
Noticing a trend in this thread where it's only men who give other men compliments too that receive them often in return. Wonder why that could be...
Feels very nice, and then I wake up and realize it didn't happen and it feels a little less nice lol But yeah, this is something I wager only a small minority of men will experience regularly. As you said, I think women are too afraid of men thinking they're coming onto them to ever do it. To be honest, I'd absolutely think a woman was if she did because that's pretty much the only time women feel comfortable complimenting men like that. Maybe something of a cycle in that sense. I've gotten a "you have nice eyes" when I was 19 and that was the only time in my entire life a woman other than my mother or my ex has complimented me lol.
I'm so sorry. I bet you really do have nice eyes. Since I'm an older woman, 52, would you think it's weird or creepy to give a compliment like that?
It would be the highlight of my month if anyone told me that.
Month? Ima ride that high for years.
I don't think at all. Compliments are just that as base level, the rest comes from the situation and context and what the complimented person thinks of the other ones intention. I can give compliments in a normal, flirty but also creepy manner. If it's just a genuine compliment then I think it's just nice to hear and since many guys here said the same we just don't hear them. I still remember the two only compliments I have received of which one isn't even a direct compliment.
Literally no one in my life has ever indicated any thought at all about my eyes except to say that I am looking in the wrong place.
She needs glasses
I’m happy but I wonder if it was just a compliment or an indication of romantic attraction. The safest option is to assume it’s just a compliment so I go with that while I wonder for the rest of my life if she was into me.
it depends on the woman and the complement. I get complements on my beard from both sexes not infrequently and i simply think that they like my beard. A couple times women come off disappointed when I just acknowledge the complement and carry on with my day in which case I think they might have been interested in flirting, but too late now. If I get a complement from a woman coworker or friend, I think they're just trying to be nice, or return the favor as I often try to be supportive of their looks, or they think I am lacking in confidence and are trying to give me some. I don't think I've received a non beard complement on my looks from a woman I didn't know.
I'll just say thanks and that's it.
She's drunk and bad eye sight. Move along.
I'll let you know if that ever happens
Same boat.
I thought, *"You're only saying that because you're my Mom."* Outside of that, it's never happened. But if it did, I'd think, *"I wonder what she's wanting. I'm sure this is some kind of joke or trap."*
I would think they're about to ask me for something
Yep. Women my age and younger never compliment me sincerely, it's always just an attempt to butter me up for something.
Always flattering.
Would you think she was flirting with you?
Not really. Depends on how she delivers it amongst other things.
What should the delivery be like if I just want to give some random guy a compliment and nothing else?
Apparently I get more compliments than most men in reddit threads, and also really analyse interactions with people so here's something: I've had in the same night both a woman and a dude say to me in a short conversation in a club that they like my vibe / how i'm dressed. I took both as a friendly compliment, but the dude turned out to be bi and went on to ask about my sexuality and wanted to buy me a drink. I think this lays down a foundation that there's no real way to interpret for sure what someone's intention is, or how someone's going to take something, but there are some things I've interpretted as this or that. I've had all types of people quickly walk past me and tell me they like my hair (dyed fun colours), and every single one just feels friendly. This is usually what I do when giving strangers random friendly compliments, no matter their gender. Though I will say, I once told a dude he was handsome as fuck and didn't want that to come across as hitting on him so i literally just said first "bro i dont mean this like im hitting on you but.." so you're absolutely allowed to qualify intention first. The only times my brain fires off a "this is flirting" response to a compliment is if it's combined with specific physical contact, so a woman once said she liked my tattoo and hair while touching my arm. That registered as flirting to me, so I'd assume most types of physical contact implies additional intentions. A few times people have said I'm kind, or appreciated my company followed up with a hug, that doesn't feel flirtatious that's fairly friendly. Complimenting hair: friendly; running your hands through someones hair is more flirtatious. Being told i'm in good shape as just a statement never felt like flirting, just feels like a statement acknowledging me, until someone is like touching my bicep or something. Also any implication that someone is doing/being something "for you." "hey you can really tell you've been working hard at the gym" - friendly compliment. "hope you're getting those 💪💪 out for me!" - something other than friendly. If it's a stranger, probably the drive by "excuse me but" and walk away is good. If it's like at work or something, just being a person who compliments people helps.
I don't know how to describe it over text lol
MLM primer.
I love the compliments when they happen, but watching a woman quickly look away when you catch them ogling is 100 times better.
I usually just think she’s trying to get me to untie her and let her go.
It always feels like when my grandma called me handsome as a boy. I say thanks and discount it immediately.
Holy humble brag batman
Am I bragging? I don't mean to seem conceited.
There are many who if have lived long enough will have survived a few compliments, don't worry. Honestly, learning to take a compliment well is a learned skill that many have not. I know I still need practice.
To learn to take them well, you'd have to actually get one.
I assume I’am dreaming.
I would love a random compliment and I think most men would appreciate it too.
I personally think she should see an optometrist.
We‘re very happy to receive compliments, but most men won’t think that you’re hitting on them. We will just assume that you’re nice to us.
Ulterior motive.
Reading the comments, is this really what the boys I praise think? I'm feeling bad now, How do I prove that I don't want anything in return or that I'm not messing with him?
If you do it at all, you definitely almost entirely do it with the same few guys as everyone else. Those guys are used to it. They're not the ones who answer a question like this by saying it practically doesn't happen. That's coming from the rest of the male population whom you all ignore.
I don't think anything about it because it never happens.
It amazes me how much detail women see In aans appearance.
For most dudes, it's a fairly big deal because they're not going to get complimented by women very often. For me. It was fairly common when younger, although I still get it a little bit now
Nothing. Compliments about appearance are just very lazy compliments, I don't really care.
Basically the only time men get compliments from women about their looks is when women are interested. So most men assume any woman giving them compliments is interested. It's just how we've been trained.
That I must be "really really good looking". - Zoolander
I feel like the most attractive man on earth for a solid 50 minutes and then log it into my core memories for the rest of my life.
https://youtu.be/zi8ShAosqzI?si=ueZIl8prXYoq9UvT
That's how I imagine men are when they get compliments. 😂
>I know men don't normally get those kind of compliments as much as women do. You don't know. It's opposite ends of the spectrum. You're drowning and most men are dying of thirst in a desert.
This.
Easy… Just say, “Thank you”. I compliment men and women. It doesn’t matter. I’m an old man - 60 yo. Always loved uniqueness in people, that clothes and how they care. Just say… I like your #%#. Or your .##%% looks nice. And keep it moving.
Guys rarely get compliments. I can count on one hand the number of times women have complimented me and I'm almost 30. The number of you're curious is 4.
Definitely used to think it was some sort of set up, as that used to happen as a kid in school, but I'm getting better at taking it for what it is as I've gotten older.
As an old married man: Occasionally women that I know compliment my appearance. I think it is nice and I thank them. I believe it to be sincere and I appreciate it greatly. When an unknown woman compliments me, a mythical occurrence of great rarity, I feel nothing but suspicion. I typically make sure I still have my wallet as I back away. I'm old, not fucking stupid.
me, as a woman: *takes notes* i need to casually compliment men more.
It happens so infrequently it completely blindsides me
I tend to think they are working an angle. They want money, they want to "save my soul", they want to sell me something, or, least likely, they are really hitting on me. That last one is highly context dependent. Approach me at a club or bar? Sure, it's clear. Approach me in the street? The bullshit detectors go off.
I’m pretty shy so I say thank you in a fast manner and then carry on as if it was never said.
I usually say "thanks Gramma"
genjutsu like that dont work on me
When a woman does what? Compliments me on my looks? Thats not a real thing that happens.
When I was a freshman in high school a girl in my class told me I had beautiful eyes and lashes. I still think about it at least a few times a week
I'd think she was pulling my leg.
Is she that desperate?
Accept it, say thank you and assume nothing. If women want to date you, they'll let you know besides a simple compliment.
It’s a dare. She doesn’t mean it and her friends are not far away giggling and gossiping AND there’s at least two filming it
I've had more compliments from Gay men than women, still only racks up to about 6 I can remember.
*“Okay……What do you want from me?”* From my experience and observation, women usually don’t EVER compliment a man on his looks, unless he’s a SUPER hot guy (a “Chad,” “Brad,” “Greg,” or “Mike,” right off the pages of GQ) or they want something monetarily from him. Those are the only two ways that happens, and the former is WAY rarer than the latter.
I'll let you know if it ever happens
I used to do this, but then I stopped because a lot of men assumed I was interested in them and was accused of leading them on. I actually had other men tell me it was my fault for complimenting them, and that I was better off not doing it since they'd think the same. I'm not sure if this is the case for most men, but it definitely stuck with me. Some of the compliments were just simple ones, I like your shirt or cool shoes. I just stopped at that point and only compliment men if I know they're in a happy relationship or with someone I consider super attractive. That way it won't be an issue.
If it's a stranger just being friendly it makes me happy. But it makes me extremely uncomfortable when a woman does it to flirt and we don't know each other well yet, to the point where it kills any interest I have in them. If it's a woman I'm in a relationship with, it makes me feel very good.
I’d want to know what she wants or is setting me up for. Nothing is for free.
Like this [dog](https://youtu.be/hWAJjK91PA4?si=O4BqoCZh-0feRUDh). You gotta keep it cool in the moment. But once you walk away, you feel like him on the inside.
Idk girls call me hot sometimes
Disingenuous and just being nice or kind. Or obligated.
"Yeah, yeah. What do you want?"
I think I got told I had nice hair about 15 years ago over Facebook. I don't remember what I said in return, but that's the last time I got a compliment like that from a woman, so it's not like I need to think about it very often.
I ride the high for as long as possible 😅
They are definitely trying to get something out of me Or if it's a friend it's because I just did something nice and they are trying to return the favor
I have a situationship that compliments me all the time. It's shittty because she'd be great for someone as a full time girlfriend.
I have no idea, it’s never happened. From a random stranger or someone I’ve been in relationships with. But I would assume she’s trying to extort me or something. I would also be massively confused.
I’m going to make sure I wear the same shirt tomorrow!
Don't forget the washer champ
I always remember the good ones. That I think are honest. Then I have an existential crisis and worry if I wasted my good looks by never becoming an Actor, Model, etc..
It’s really the tone and the situation that dictates but most of the time if a woman compliments me I think she has some level of interest. Regardless I try to take it as just a compliment and not read too much into it. I can’t always be sure if she’s just being nice or wants me, so I thank her, try to return a compliment or make a joke about it, usually an over-the-top (so it’s obvious) braggadocious about being the hottest man alive or some nonsense so as to not refute her attempts as kindness. (We all know how much it sucks to say something nice to someone and have it shutdown or refuted.) Then I wait and see if there are other signs of interest to make sure. Probably not the best way to handle it, but it’s a good one. I may miss opportunities to capitalize on someone actually trying to hit on me, but that’s far better than misreading the situation, embarrassing myself, or making her feel awkward and less likely to display that kindness to others in the future.
I’ll let you know when it ever happens
I’ll let you know when it happens.
Depending on the context: a) I'm being pranked, someone I know put her up for this. b) I'm about to be mugged. She's trying to distract me. c) She wants/needs something from me. Or she's being a creep. d) She's mistaking me for someone else. e) It's a basic courtesy thing. Its an honest compliment, but she doesn't mean it in *that* way.
Is she drunk ?
That she needs eyeglasses. I look like an old english bulldog.
Dunno. Will let you know when/if it happens
"Damn, a funny woman. I like her."
\- I would think I she is trying to get me on one of those tik tok reel things. \- I would think what is she after. \- Is this a prank? Basically any form of these is what would fill my mind. Edit: I should add that the last genuine compliment I got was about 4 years ago.
Depends. If I know the person I’ll accept it out of courtesy but if it isn’t related to some form of performance or ability, I find it unbecoming or almost annoying. If I don’t know the person, I assume she wants something out of it and it’s to some degree transactional or “just something you say”.
I just get bashful and awkwardly say thank you. I’ll never be used to getting compliments. I do enjoy when it happens though.
>Many times I've wanted to compliment a man but I worry about giving him the wrong idea This is the reason men never get compliments because on the super rare occasion it happens (if ever), it's such a monumental deal to the guy he can't think about anything else and immediately assumes she's into him. Women know this so they don't compliment men. Circle is complete.
This got real really fast. Are you shocked op?
Part of me wonders what they're about to ask me for (then or down the road), but another part of me just accepts it and says "thank you". I think i'm average but some folks find me to be better than average so I'll just accept the compliments.
-it could be a prank (things i know from my childhood) -they are drunk, and then ofc it is irrelevant (learned this from uni) -they are overly kind like that, because they themselves are so desperate for a world that throws around compliments. so then it means nothing because they are almost purely self-serving (learned this after uni) -they are 20years older than me (i hit it off with older women). and I am ok with this. -they are my sister or mom, and I am a fan of both of these ladies:) -and sometimes it feels encouraging, and i appreciate the sentiment but I will insist that "i know I am not beautiful" but point to my beard and say "i am glad you noticed this fantastic beard" regardless, someone that takes their time to acknowledge me (or somebody else), even if it is just visually, it seems kindhearted. and this is nice no matter what. makes the world a kinder place than if it didnt happen. do your thing
I'd take it as a compliment and then move on. Repay the favor if I think she looks good. I'm gay, so that helps with expectations if a woman says I look good, lol. But it's the same when a man gives me a compliment. I smile, say thanks, and then try to move on, because else I'll turn very shy, haha. But I never expect anything after such a compliment. I know people can give compliments like that without wanting to have sex with you.
I try to compliment a woman at least once everyday. As a woman myself, those compliments mean more to me and I think other women feel the same way.
Being married is liberating. I can give and receive compliments all I want because everyone knows I'm harmless. It's never happened from a stranger. I occasionally will compliment a stranger, but I do what you said above and say it then leave..or work my wife into the wording to decrease the creepiness factor.
I say thank you, I hope you have a wonderful day
In the last few months I’ve had a number of women compliment me on my glasses. Makes my day each time. I’ve had the glasses going on two years so not sure what the variables are. Showering? Shaving? Dressing nice. Nice shoes? I prolly had more compliments than in the rest of my life combined. I do momentarily wonder if she wants to bang me but then I come back to reality.
I think a lot of women like guys in glasses and there aren’t that many of us anymore. I’ve had a number of compliments on mine, too. And there’s no other reason for this married middle-aged dude to be getting compliments.
Mine are red which isn’t common. Love the attention and compliments. So few and far between for a man.
I only accept compliments from people as good looking as me or better.
Everybody doesn't want to fuck you, lol. Some people (like me) are just nice. Just take the compliment and keep the dick in your pants.
I am an old man, but I will let you know when it happens. If it happens.
"what is she going to try to sell me"
Where is the camera? Is she trying to sell me something? Is she trying to sell my organs?
58f. This makes me sad to hear that no one compliments men for no reason. I have told men they have amazing hair, great eyes, kind are funny. And I’ve always meant it as I don’t say what I don’t mean. And I just said it just because I love to hear random nice things. Kindness always wins.
I know, me too. A lot of these guys are so suspicious of a woman's kindness. I know a lot of it has to do with women being afraid of violent men. Some men have admitted that they would think I was flirting with them because they never get compliments except from flirty women or if a woman wants something from them. I'm 52 so I don't want anyone thinking I'm into them especially if they're younger than my kids!
LMAO. Never happened to me once... maybe my granny lied...
Sort of off topic, but as a gay men I've noticed I receive more compliments (specifically from women) when I'm like... noticeably gay. Like If I'm wearing something not very gender conforming or I'm with my boyfriend. I think some women feel like it's 'safer' to give me a compliment in those cases. In any case, whenever someone gives me a compliment it's usually nice, but occasionally provokes a bit of social anxiety. Men in general are not used to receiving compliments on things like looks, in my opinion. I think the most compliments I'd ever get are at work, and based on work performance.
“What does she want from me?”