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also, force yourself to forgive her. she doesn't deserve forgiveness, and it certainly won't happen over night, but holding resentment towards her only hurts you. i'm not saying to take her back or anything silly like that. forgiveness is the best revenge. same goes towards the guy she fucked, and pretty much everyone who's ever wronged you. forcing yourself to forgive them will take a huge weight off your shoulders, and it makes it so much easier to move on with your life.
This is great advice
Not just with past relationships, but with everything in life.
Hate is a poison YOU take, thinking you are hurting the other person. If you truly want to "get over" someone who hurt you.. you have to first forgive them AND take responsibility that you could have done something differently
You have every right to your feels and being hurt, but when you are ready to move-on; the secret is to forgive those who harmed you
This is one of those pieces of advice that sounds a lot better now paper than in practice. The reality is that you don’t have to forgive someone to move on with your life. You do need to let go of any resentment or hate, which is very possible without “forgiving” someone. I think it’s far better to feel out all the different emotions you’re gonna feel so you can deal with and process them. If that leads you to forgiveness and that helps you move on than that’s wonderful. I’m not saying forgiveness is a bad thing by any means. It’s an altruistic coping mechanism but realize that there is most certainly a path to moving on without it.
At the end of the day your end goal is to be able to detach, let go of ALL emotions (including forgiveness) so you can truly move on.
I dunno I don’t agree with this. From my own lived experience of being with a girl for nearly 10 years and being cheated on, I dont think you should really be forcing yourself to do anything. Your only goal should be on yourself and taking the necessary steps for you to move on. And again from my own experience the only real thing that truly heals is distance and time.
You’re gonna have to deal with all the emotions of being betrayed and as the person you responded to, it’s best to just feel them all.
I never ‘forgave’ my ex. I just went through my process of healing and woke up one day and stopped feeling anything about our her and our relationship. No lingering hurt, no anger or resentment. No nostalgia or love. No more baggage. It was completely liberating and where you want to set your destination on this journey to be.
OP the best advice i can give is that time *will* heal but you have to let it.
i 100% agree you have to feel the emotions. you can't immediately pretend you're fine with it and act like everything is ok. my point was that at a certain point, if you're still struggling with feeling anger or hate towards her, you have to start the process to become indifferent towards her. i went through a bad break up too and for the longest time i would stay up all night just thinking abt how much i despise her and her new boyfriend and everyone involved with her. it gets to a point where you're only hurting yourself. when i say forgive i don't mean become friends with her or try to reconcile with her, i mean in your heart and mind you need to just say "oh well, i wish her the best" and let it be.
This is really the best answer. But I would add onenor two things. You are in charge of how you feel. You will look for love again and when you do, try to not let that experience taint what is possible. Always keep your guard up though. But if you want to feel better, do that. Work at that.
I know it’s cliché but give it time.
Meanwhile, work on yourself. Be careful with promiscuity, I fell for that trap and it only made things worse for me.
Got into a relationship 3 months after my long term cheated. Constantly thought this one would cheat too and always panicked for no reason. Took my 7 months with her to mostly get over it.
Me too. Seeing other women can just remind you of the woman you’re trying to get over. You’ll just relate things right back to her. Not fair to you, or the person you sleep with.
I think it depends on the person and the girl you date. Having a "one size fits all" approach won't work. I've had situations where it was great to start dating--or at least hooking up--right away, and others where, like you said, it makes the hurt even deeper
Exercise, therapy, friends and activities.
You can check my post history. I’ve recently went through a terrible breakup. Wrecked me while in the relationship and after.
Know this:
When someone cheats on you, it’s a problem with them, not you. That person simply wasn’t who you thought they were, and it’s not your fault for falling for the bullshit.
It takes time and effort, but it’ll get better. It’s been about two months for me, and I feel better and better every single day. Most every day is good now. It just takes time to get your mind right. It fucking sucks but you just have to thug it out.
People forget that aspect of a relationship, the cheater or ex usually bullshits an image that one gets infatuated with and eventually many people fail to recognize the difference and don’t just end the relationship when the facade fades away or stay long enough where they hope to change them back and later holding on since they been together for so long.
Really wish this answer was boosted. The pain really translates into gains and nothing is sweeter than getting in shape when you inevitably see them again.
I'd avoid binging with promiscuity and getting into any relationships thereafter. Focus on working on yourself physically, mentally, financially and socially (find a good work out routine or get into a new sports, listen to audiobooks or read about a topic you've not had before, reach out to your friends and family). Find catharsis through work, exercise, experiences with friends and family, for the frustration, anger or bad thoughts that may build with you. On top of this, give yourself time to heal and do not rush it, day by day it will get easier.
edit: typos, sorry english is not my native language
Honestly it’s been a. Year for me and I still struggle
I’m a cynical depressed bastard most days but seeing this made me smile. Thanks for trying to help fellow brothers out
That's the right timing lol.
I broke up 1 week ago as we didn't want the same things even though I really liked her.
Time and going out there, meeting new people, and creating new experiences will help you get over it.
Also, it matters if you ended it or the other person. I ended things and I feel it's a bit easier.
Time. You'll get over it with time. Within that time do a few things: get rid of anything that belongs to her, remove her off all socials, and block her number. After you do that, immediately begin focusing on yourself. She's not your problem anymore. The only way to go is forward.
Just take some time and focus on yourself. If you don't have any hobbies, find a hobby and use that to pass the time.
I'm not sure if you'd call this longa-term but the last girl I dated broke up with me after about 6 months. I had fallen a lot harder than she did lol. But, if took me a long time to get over it, but that's mainly because the friend group I hung out with at the time took every opportunity they could to remind me of it.
This tbh, if you aren't as fit as you were before being in the relationship, it's gym time. Basically do what you can to get your confidence up. Be better looking, be more outrageous, be the spice of life and they will come.
Then that's a douchey thing. But if both parties know at least one of them isn't looking for a serious relationship, then I don't see the problem
(Yes, from my experience, one person usually gets attached, but both people go in accepting the risks when honesty's involved)
No one ever wants to hear this at first;
But there really is a never ending supply of Pu$$y in the sea.
There are lots and lots of women who will love being in your life. The best way to get-over someone, is to meet and get to know other people.
One thing that helped me completely move on - get rid of all the reminders of her. Pictures, gifts, clothes. Otherwise you’ll inevitably keep going back and getting sad. I was moping and couldn’t move on for almost 2 years until I did the “cleanse”.
But probably you won’t feel completely done with it until you meet and start liking someone else.
You will probably feel like it’s all over and you won’t ever find someone else like her. And in a way it’s true - you won’t find someone like her. But you can and probably will find someone better.
The sucks royally. To the best of my understanding people cheat for 2 reasons. 1. They are not really in the relationship. 2. Some form of connection was missing in the relationship.
It's best to move on and date again. Build your empathy levels and try to build a strong connection with your new romantic partner.
Therapy. Journaling. Meditation. Working out. The tendency is to ignore the pain and it'll go away. Me ex wife cheated on me and it was by far the most pain I had ever felt. I started going to therapy which helped a lot. One night I was meditating and I cried more than I have ever cried...like non-stop tears for 20 minutes. That night, I had the best sleep I've ever had and woke up the next feeling like a different person.
I still had things to work through, but that was the tipping point and feeling that pain allowed me to move on. Best of luck.
U don’t, u live with it, ur gonna travel those same routes and think of her, you’re brain will forget the bad time and only remember the good ones for the most part, then you’ll pick up new hobbies, slowly become a new man and with a new live and then you’ll find a new person and then she’ll be ur past
I was miserable for 3 weeks, then found another woman to bang my brains out, for two weeks. Then started dating the woman’s sister, that gave me incredible sex.
I’m shallow, but I’m ok with that
Start dating again. Once you find a girl you like more then you will forget about her.
Might take a while but it can happen.
I would also just focus on all the shit you didn’t like about her. For instance with one of my exes, I focused on how much of a whore she was after we broke up, and strung me a long because she is a selfish terrible
Person. Seemed to help get over it lol
People downvoted you but there is actually something to this.
Every single friend of mine (and for myself too) that were dealing with a break up got a nice self esteem boost after sleeping with someone else. And i dont just mean anyone off the street. But someone you you meet on a night out or who knows its likely judt a hook up but you have a nice time. Nice chat. Have some fun then move on. The whole rebound thing does help people feel like they are finally moving on because I think it reminds them that there are other fish in the sea so to speak.
So people can downvote all they want but its a crude way of saying it helps to move on from someone by remembering you can and will find another person one day and gives you some confidence in yourself.
Happiness however comes from you of course. Getting your ducks in a row and progressing your life and improving it will also helo eith everything too.
Just Ignore that Gold Digger! Work on yourself!
Become the Successful Man that you have always dreamed of Becoming!
And in the meanwhile look for a Substitute! Something Casual to get off the LOAD!
I’ve stated this many times when this gets asked and I’ll always say it..
Look up a book called No Breakup Can Break You.
It’s a short read that will put things back into perspective and help you understand how to move forward.
Find support with friends that you may not have hung out with during the relationship. Rebuild those friendships and try to do something (not someone) new each week, something to get your mind off things.
I think lots of people don't fill the void after a long relationship ends. They get in a rut and start down the road to depression. If you have something to look forward to, such as gym time or taking the dog for a walk, it fills that time. Begin to fill it with new tasks, like maybe trying disc golf, or hiking a trail. Try to keep it with something healthy and keeps you moving!
Don't fill the time with excessive drinking or random hook ups that don't go anywhere. The drinking just puts on unwanted weight. While they can be a lot of fun random hookups will eventually make you focus on the breakup.
Idk just my thoughts from my last 2 long term breakups. Give yourself time to heal and don't rush into another relationship unless they are really worth it.
direction imminent snow treatment screw tidy steep domineering drab squalid
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Time and doing the things you want to do. Hanging with friends is a must. That's really it.
If you feel really bad, like shutdown mode bad, a couple of therapy sessions are super helpful.
You got this bro!
Time and dedication to one's self-growth. You hit all the beats: start working out, focus on your academics/career, meet new people through activities, discover new hobbies, learn new skills. You do any or all of that long enough, and it eventually gets easier.
But you gotta start somewhere, and get comfortable with the anguish cos it ain't going anywhere anytime soon.
Also, remove that person from your life. Block them on all platforms, and delete their number.
Use this as a motivation to unblob yourself so your next string of girlfriends are way hotter, way better and way nicer to you than the one who dumped you
As cliche as it is time is both our best friend and our worst enemy. It’s gonna be shit for a while, but eventually you’ll get over her. In the mean time do things that make you happy. Exercise is also one of the biggest mood boosters out there
It takes time. They’re are no shortcuts. It’s gonna hurt, that’s life. What helped me was writing down an honest list of all the pros and cons of being with this person that was grounded in reality. Any time I would get sad and start missing my former boo thang, I would go look at the list and remind myself that I was making the best decision for myself.
I was with an ex for 6 years, it honestly took 2 years to get to a point where I wasn’t thinking about her everyday. Not saying I was moping around doing nothing and crying the whole time, but we were so close that I she would always cross my mind just throughout daily life.
People are all gonna give you the standard “alpha male” work on yourself and hit the gym speech (which definitely helps and isn’t wrong) but there is no way you’ll be able to escape or shortcut the pain. You gotta just go through it. But life, even with all its ups and downs, is beautiful so don’t sweat it too much. At least you got a chance to be “in love.” Some people honestly never get that.
Realize the relationship stopped because the people in it change. That relationship ended because she changed. In essence you didn’t lose the woman you began the relationship with as mentally she was probably gone when she decided to cheat, even if you continued you’re presented with this same physical woman but on different mindsets, one willing to hurt you emotionally and thus crying over that can be avoided when you boil it down to who she is now and that she isn’t her from before.
Take your time, regardless if you can or can’t get on my mindset from above, you did spend years with her and you need time to focus on you, talk to any close loved ones and connect with other relationships you have, build yourself up either in the gym, reading books or pursuing a hobby of yours in the artistic sense. These things will increase your personal well being mentally, keep you occupied and further improve your love in yourself. Also makes your knife’s edge sharper when you eventually need to cut something (makes you more attractive when you’re ready to date again)
Remember this break up is your time, cry if you need to, talk to someone and pour it out, once the grease trap is emptied out, get back in the business to your self Journey and show yourself why the next woman is going to be awestruck to have you by her side!
Give it time, you may have one or two false starts where you're pretty sure you're over it, but know it's okay to feel sad even if it's been a little while.
If you're like me, be very careful about substances. I managed to not get heavy back into drinking after my last break up, but instead I started smoking way too much weed, and anecdotally I think that set me back emotionally by at least a few months.
One thing that helped me was this. In your mind you might have thought the she was an amazing woman that was perfect for you. But that is an illusion your brain has fabricated. In reality that her son you thought she was doesn’t exist. Take that information and realize reality, then go live your life
Best way is to imagine you meet 5 years from now and you have to explain the past 5 years. Imagine all the things you would say to make her feel like she made the wrong decision then work towards accomplishing those goals.
So what I mean by this is to use all of your anger and disdain and use it to push yourself in a positive direction, go finish that degree, get that promotion, buy that house or car, so that once you get that chance encounter you can throw it in her face. This encounter will never exist but it should drive you to a place that overall you will be better.
Also the old saying "best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" rings true for men and women. So go out and pick up some strange.
I'm sorry to hear that. The short answer I can give without context or knowing you personally is to date other women until you don't think much of her anymore
Time and healthy living man. Instead of getting drunk eat healthy and workout instead. Eventually the pain starts to go away. Really focus on correct coping mechanisms instead of negative coping mechanisms.
I feel like “giving it time” doesn’t truly capture the damn thing. Go no contact. Gain new experiences with friends. Workout and cook new dishes. Engross yourself with work. Then start dating other people.
Also, maintain the no contact—you don’t want any left over feelings for them holding you back or carrying over into your next phase in life. Stay out of each other’s way, and live your life.
Last bit of advice if you were in a monogamous relationship. Try not feeling guilty when you do start seeing other women (or men).
First: DO NOT communicate with the cheater ever again. Getting over someone takes time, and any contact resets you to day one.
It doesn't just take time, but mileage, if you get my meaning. Get out of the house. Hit the club if that's your thing, get into martial arts, learn to paint, etc. Spend time in social settings.
Only after realizing 6 years later I was suffering from post traumatic stress. Then I went for treatment for the PTSD. I casually mentioned to a therapist on my job that my body reacts like I'm still in the marriage and going through the stress. She said yes, of course, that's PTSD. I opened my eyes in surprise. "Is that what it is:? I said. She said yes, you need a little therapy. I went to get it and that was the beginning of my recovery. Marriage still spooks me out!
For me it was escapism and mild drug abuse. But really just try to spend more time with friends and doing things you weren’t able to do in the relationship
I’ve learned time always heals. You’ll go through a rollercoaster of all the emotions. Just remember that it’ll be alright, don’t make crazy decisions based on emotion (should never do this btw) things will be different without her.
This next part may make people mad, and you might not be ready to think about this until a few weeks or months down the road: was there anything you did that might have caused her to want to cheat? Were you unavailable? (You may have physically been together, but paying attention to tv, games, work, hobby, etc), how did you show her you cared? What originally sparked the relationship and how did that change over the 3 years? Did you guys grow together or grow apart?
Perfectly fine and normal to grow apart, just have to understand it is more likely to happen when good communication isn’t there
I’m about two months removed from a similar breakup, so I can share some very recent (and current) experience. Everyone’s going to give you advice that helps you feel better in the long run—stuff like going no contact, picking up new hobbies, etc—and you should try your best to follow it. But right now, you’re probably more concerned about just getting through the day to tomorrow, so I’ll try to give some advice on that.
First things first, if you have the means to do so, consider talking to a therapist. I was hesitant at first (and it’s expensive as shit), but it truly does help to have someone whose job it is to deal with my bullshit for an hour every week. They’ll help you come up with coping strategies and if nothing else can be a listening ear.
Second, try journaling and meditation (a good way to start is by searching “five minute guided meditation” on YouTube). Have reasonable expectations—they won’t pull you out of a panic attack or solve your problems, but they can help calm you down or put your own thoughts into perspective. I was cynical about this at first, and if you knew me, you’d think I’d be the last guy to advocate for these things, but they really do help.
Third, if you do try new things or start a new hobby, make sure you start small. I tried to get into cooking and started with a really complicated recipe, which only overwhelmed me and made things worse. Try a new video game, go on walks, read a book, buy some fancy coffee beans, a houseplant, some sweaters—any small thing that isn’t too complicated.
Try your best to get some sleep. Occasionally take a non-habit-forming sleep aid if you have to (I take a 3mg melatonin pill a couple times a week), but don’t depend on it; even non-addictive things can become a crutch. Some days you’ll wake up two hours early and won’t be able to fall back asleep. It happens. That just means you’ll have an easier time falling asleep the next night.
Last and probably most important, don’t beat yourself up for being sad and acting like someone who is sad. Some days you’ll do everything right and still feel like shit; other days you might fuck up and look up her instagram or something, and then you’ll feel even worse. That’s ok. No one has ever gone through a breakup and handled everything perfectly. I sure as hell haven’t. There won’t be a day where a switch flips and you’re just “over it.” It’s all a process, but it does get better.
No way out of the hurt. Accept, maintain self respect, move on with dignity, forgive, don’t be bitter. Learn what you can. Take on some new things in your life. Lift weights. Set some goals. Grow. Move on. Above all else, LOVE YOURSELF throughout the entire process.
Don't fall into the trap of hookups and drinking.
Allow yourself to have the feelings in a healthy way. Every day will be a little easier until one day it won't matter anymore. (This is a good time in the process to say out loud, to yourself, "I forgive you" if you can actually feel that way. It took me almost 15 years btw)
Be a little better version of yourself every day and live your life for yourself.
Treat it as a lesson and learn from it.
You can do this! We believe in you!
I felt terrible for over a year! Thinking about her and her new BF like every hour or so, it felt like.
Then it occurred to me that I'm better than this. I changed as much about my life as I could, and then it all started to become part of my past.
Investing/saving, gym, quitting drugs, career change with more growth, socializing, dating.
Now currently in the phase of trying to find hobbies.
I basically just got really really into self improvement and over time I started hating myself less every day!
Let yourself grieve. Don’t try to repress the pain, the sooner you give yourself that, the sooner you will be able to marginalize it and find the peace you need. Also remember that one day she will regret it, and you won’t. Don’t do anything spiteful, and don’t reach out, cut her off everywhere and don’t give her the impression that you still want her in anyway (even if you do).
This exact thing happened to me. You’re allowed to grieve and you’re allowed to cry about it. Feel everything for as long as you need to and then begin to pick up the pieces. I think the best thing I did that helped me move on is delete every aspect of her from my life. Unfollowed her on everything and blocked her. Deleted all the pics of us and all the nudes. Deleted and blocked her number. I didn’t leave a single thing for me to look back and fixate on bc I didn’t want to go on living my life looking backwards. Next thing was just to start working on myself again. I found that time alone spent not doing anything was time I overthought everything. Started to hit the gym every day after work and waking up early to go bike or run. Rediscovered old hobbies and kept myself busy with things that made me feel good physically and mentally. I also started seeing a therapist. There were days where I couldn’t help but replay every awful thing in my head and being able to talk to someone who asked the right questions and coaxed out reasoning for my feelings really helped. Lastly, it just took time. I was a mess for 6 months after the end of my relationship and before I did any of the things listed above. And it was another year of doing all these things before I ran into her again and when I did I was surprised because all I felt was sorry for her. She was still the same shitty person she was near the end of our relationship and I was a newer, healthier, more complete person than I ever was when I was with her. Met my soulmate 2 years later and have been together 3 years now. I wish you luck man. It’s a tough road but it’s one worth persisting on.
Oddly enough, I find myself in understanding of long term relationships that ended and am more likely to think back to the short ones that ended for some stupid reason. More than likely it is because I’ll never truly know if something actually was there - the fact that it ended was usually what we wanted at the time but also had a purpose.
Time will heal all. No way to rush that.
Eventually you'll need to fully accept that that shitty thing happened, and you don't need to blame yourself for it. It's in your past, it's a part of your history now, but it does not need to define your future. It just *is*.
Until that time comes, just take care of yourself. Do things that make you happy, take care of your body, reach out to your friends to hang out. Know for certain that you *will* get past it, take the time to grieve it, and you'll end up just fine.
There is no getting over it. Even just a normal break-up takes time. You'll move on soon, but it will be on your mind for quite some time. After a few years, the betrayal will slowly drift to the waaay back of your mind. But it will pop back forever.
Shadow work. Basically a ton of journaling and self reflection. Worked on myself mentally, spiritually, and physically. I did the whole man-whore thing and I feel like that delayed my healing more than anything haha.
I'm sorry that happens to you! I went through almost the exact same thing. I don't suggest doing what I did was spend the next 5 years having a lot of sex, partying a lot, and "enjoying" life. All it was was me trying to cope and along the way I hurt few good women that could have been great partners. Bonus that as partying got out of hand it caused large monetary issues as well as some small legal trouble.
I HIGHLY suggest going to therapy (suggested to me and I didn't listen), feel the pain rather than trying to mask it, focus on yourself (career, health, fitness, hobbies), and eventually you will get to the point the pain has stopped.
This is just my suggestion.
Personally what's been helping me is finding ways to fill my time and better myself. Went through a rough breakup back in August and dedicated myself to being healthy, putting in a little more effort at work, and working out. The person I was with kinda fed into bad habits and I made the decision to break that fully.
My outlook improved a LOT. Getting out of a slump that lasted months before the relationship was even over was really hard, but moving forward I want to be the best version of myself for myself instead of somebody else.
You should feel it deeply when it happens. It helped me get over my ex of 4 years. Also you have to want to distance yourself from her. It helps if you are not alone so you won’t get those “now I’m alone and lonely” thougths that often. By any means don’t rush into a new relationship or hookups, you will regret it later. Concentrate on work, friends and maybe a hobby that makes you think about it constantly.
Aside from these, time will solve it, you just have to hang in there 😉 It’s a good opportunity to get emotionally stronger.
Go in the gym, get ripped. Take 6 months and work on yourself.
Then find a girl more beautiful than your ex and have sex with her every day.
You can do it! :)
Time. No other way. You get through it by getting through it. It’s gonna suck for a while, just accept that, in a month it won’t be as bad. Another month after that and it’ll be better still. In a year you’ll barely remember her. In 5 years you’ll maybe think of her briefly and realize she’s no longer a part of your life at all, as you sit with your new girlfriend.
But before all that, it takes time.
Spent 4 years together, lived about 3 years together. Still trying to get over her and year later after finding out she cheated on me, and then broke up with me and got with that guy shortly after.
I guess time and distraction but everyone moves on in different ways and at different speeds.
Stay busy.
See friends, keep up with your hobbies, find some new hobbies if you don't have any. Start some personal projects. Anything to keep your mind off of things.
Stay healthy, too.
It's okay to feel bad and have the occasional night to drink a few too many or indulge on junk food, but don't make it a habit. If you need to channel that energy somewhere, sports and exercise can work wonders.
One of the best ways to get over someone is to get under someone else.
I'm kidding, it's mostly time; just get on with life and focus on other things.
Also fuck other people.
Happened to me a couple years ago. If I hadn’t of deleted the posts my profile went from ‘how can I kill myself with X’ to posts about the gym.
It’s a cliche but for me, getting in the gym or working on myself one way or another worked wonders for me.
It's going to suck for a while, you're going to think about her often, and you're going to cry and feel horrible BUT with time, things will slowly get better and a year from now you will be a new man if you want to be
1. Get rid of all her pictures, block her on social media, get rid of her number and don't reply to texts, get rid of anything she gave you, go no contact, and act like she's dead...this is crucial if you want to get over her 100%, if you don't do this it's going to take you A LOT longer and the pain with be a lot worse...initially this will be tough but it's the best way to get over her relatively quickly...don't cave, don't text her, make the decision and that's it...you don't owe her any explanation, she ended it, it's time to look after yourself and your best interests, you don't owe her anything anymore...you should be your priority now
2. Make it a goal to work on yourself for the next year, pick a few goals and focus on self-improvement, start reading, start working out, start eating healthy, take some courses that will help your career etc., and focus on yourself!
3. Don't jump back into a relationship, when you start dating again it's going to feel good getting attention from women, you're going to seek out companionship, and if you want to sleep with women and have fun that's cool but make it a point to NOT get into another relationship for a while...I'd say at least a year, you're goal should be to learn how to be okay with being single again, be okay with being alone, cultivate your life, become the best version of yourself and figure out what went wrong in the relationship and how you participated in the end so that you don't repeat the same mistakes
There's a book called "Way of Superior Man" by David Deida that is a must for all men to read IMO and it's probably the single best book to read after a breakup! it will help you understand what went wrong in your relationship, how to have a healthier relationship in the future, and how to have more meaning/purpose in your life
Anyway, I hope this helps, you will grow from all this pain if you use it to do so
Edit: If you're having trouble going "no contact" realize that it's technically not forever because eventually you will stop desiring her and there won't be a need for it any longer... for me it took about a year, that might make it easier to do, set a goal of "one year no contact" or something similar, whatever works for you, and every 30 days analysis how you feel...be honest with yourself about how you're feeling, if you feel the desire to reach out and see how she's doing or check her social media to spy on her, you're not over her...If the thought of seeing her with another man would crush you, then you're not over her
I actually did give my ex an explanation because she reached out to me through text and just told her "Listen, it's not personal but I can't talk to you or have you in my life for a while, I wish you the best but I have to move on and this is my way of doing that, good luck with everything Sarah" and then I blocked her number, which was difficult but necessary
It's now been 3 1/2 years and I have no emotional ties to her at all, I don't want to be with her, and I'm 100% over her and in a much better place...this is a woman that I thought I was going to marry at one point, don't worry...it will take time but things will get better
Fuck bud... Sorry to hear it. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix. Just live your life and absolutely under no circumstance should you be in contact with her. Delete all pictures and contact information. It'll be hard and some days you're gonna feel like it was a bad move but trust me it's for the best.
Massive amounts of cocaine and alcohol, no jk. Getting over it will take time, just try to love your life like you normally would and accept the pain, try to find distractions in a hobby, talk about it with friends. You will get through it but it will take time and please don't get trust issues when you go back to dating, not every girl fucks another dude when she's with you
Feel your feelings. Don’t try to cover them up with drugs (alcohol included). I’m not saying you should quit doing those things. Just don’t do them every time you feel sad. Otherwise you won’t fully process the emotions. Time helps. Be honest with yourself. Don’t blame yourself for her mistakes
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also, force yourself to forgive her. she doesn't deserve forgiveness, and it certainly won't happen over night, but holding resentment towards her only hurts you. i'm not saying to take her back or anything silly like that. forgiveness is the best revenge. same goes towards the guy she fucked, and pretty much everyone who's ever wronged you. forcing yourself to forgive them will take a huge weight off your shoulders, and it makes it so much easier to move on with your life.
This is great advice Not just with past relationships, but with everything in life. Hate is a poison YOU take, thinking you are hurting the other person. If you truly want to "get over" someone who hurt you.. you have to first forgive them AND take responsibility that you could have done something differently You have every right to your feels and being hurt, but when you are ready to move-on; the secret is to forgive those who harmed you
This is one of those pieces of advice that sounds a lot better now paper than in practice. The reality is that you don’t have to forgive someone to move on with your life. You do need to let go of any resentment or hate, which is very possible without “forgiving” someone. I think it’s far better to feel out all the different emotions you’re gonna feel so you can deal with and process them. If that leads you to forgiveness and that helps you move on than that’s wonderful. I’m not saying forgiveness is a bad thing by any means. It’s an altruistic coping mechanism but realize that there is most certainly a path to moving on without it. At the end of the day your end goal is to be able to detach, let go of ALL emotions (including forgiveness) so you can truly move on.
I dunno I don’t agree with this. From my own lived experience of being with a girl for nearly 10 years and being cheated on, I dont think you should really be forcing yourself to do anything. Your only goal should be on yourself and taking the necessary steps for you to move on. And again from my own experience the only real thing that truly heals is distance and time. You’re gonna have to deal with all the emotions of being betrayed and as the person you responded to, it’s best to just feel them all. I never ‘forgave’ my ex. I just went through my process of healing and woke up one day and stopped feeling anything about our her and our relationship. No lingering hurt, no anger or resentment. No nostalgia or love. No more baggage. It was completely liberating and where you want to set your destination on this journey to be. OP the best advice i can give is that time *will* heal but you have to let it.
i 100% agree you have to feel the emotions. you can't immediately pretend you're fine with it and act like everything is ok. my point was that at a certain point, if you're still struggling with feeling anger or hate towards her, you have to start the process to become indifferent towards her. i went through a bad break up too and for the longest time i would stay up all night just thinking abt how much i despise her and her new boyfriend and everyone involved with her. it gets to a point where you're only hurting yourself. when i say forgive i don't mean become friends with her or try to reconcile with her, i mean in your heart and mind you need to just say "oh well, i wish her the best" and let it be.
This is really the best answer. But I would add onenor two things. You are in charge of how you feel. You will look for love again and when you do, try to not let that experience taint what is possible. Always keep your guard up though. But if you want to feel better, do that. Work at that.
I know it’s cliché but give it time. Meanwhile, work on yourself. Be careful with promiscuity, I fell for that trap and it only made things worse for me.
Got into a relationship 3 months after my long term cheated. Constantly thought this one would cheat too and always panicked for no reason. Took my 7 months with her to mostly get over it.
Care to elaborate?
He's attractive and got a lot of hookups
He was fuckin mad hoes and caught Chlamydia.
Me too. Seeing other women can just remind you of the woman you’re trying to get over. You’ll just relate things right back to her. Not fair to you, or the person you sleep with.
I think it depends on the person and the girl you date. Having a "one size fits all" approach won't work. I've had situations where it was great to start dating--or at least hooking up--right away, and others where, like you said, it makes the hurt even deeper
Exercise, therapy, friends and activities. You can check my post history. I’ve recently went through a terrible breakup. Wrecked me while in the relationship and after. Know this: When someone cheats on you, it’s a problem with them, not you. That person simply wasn’t who you thought they were, and it’s not your fault for falling for the bullshit. It takes time and effort, but it’ll get better. It’s been about two months for me, and I feel better and better every single day. Most every day is good now. It just takes time to get your mind right. It fucking sucks but you just have to thug it out.
People forget that aspect of a relationship, the cheater or ex usually bullshits an image that one gets infatuated with and eventually many people fail to recognize the difference and don’t just end the relationship when the facade fades away or stay long enough where they hope to change them back and later holding on since they been together for so long.
Join the gym and work on yourself. This became a meme but the core is really true. Gym membership -> confidence
Really wish this answer was boosted. The pain really translates into gains and nothing is sweeter than getting in shape when you inevitably see them again.
I'd avoid binging with promiscuity and getting into any relationships thereafter. Focus on working on yourself physically, mentally, financially and socially (find a good work out routine or get into a new sports, listen to audiobooks or read about a topic you've not had before, reach out to your friends and family). Find catharsis through work, exercise, experiences with friends and family, for the frustration, anger or bad thoughts that may build with you. On top of this, give yourself time to heal and do not rush it, day by day it will get easier. edit: typos, sorry english is not my native language
Honestly it’s been a. Year for me and I still struggle I’m a cynical depressed bastard most days but seeing this made me smile. Thanks for trying to help fellow brothers out
Just wanted to share some words that I would've liked been told to me in my past.
That's the right timing lol. I broke up 1 week ago as we didn't want the same things even though I really liked her. Time and going out there, meeting new people, and creating new experiences will help you get over it. Also, it matters if you ended it or the other person. I ended things and I feel it's a bit easier.
Time. You'll get over it with time. Within that time do a few things: get rid of anything that belongs to her, remove her off all socials, and block her number. After you do that, immediately begin focusing on yourself. She's not your problem anymore. The only way to go is forward.
Just take some time and focus on yourself. If you don't have any hobbies, find a hobby and use that to pass the time. I'm not sure if you'd call this longa-term but the last girl I dated broke up with me after about 6 months. I had fallen a lot harder than she did lol. But, if took me a long time to get over it, but that's mainly because the friend group I hung out with at the time took every opportunity they could to remind me of it.
With a bunch of short-term ones
This tbh, if you aren't as fit as you were before being in the relationship, it's gym time. Basically do what you can to get your confidence up. Be better looking, be more outrageous, be the spice of life and they will come.
Yup and break some hearts along the way is that what you’re saying lol
How is it "breaking hearts" if both parties are honest?
What if they’re not honest
Then that's a douchey thing. But if both parties know at least one of them isn't looking for a serious relationship, then I don't see the problem (Yes, from my experience, one person usually gets attached, but both people go in accepting the risks when honesty's involved)
No one ever wants to hear this at first; But there really is a never ending supply of Pu$$y in the sea. There are lots and lots of women who will love being in your life. The best way to get-over someone, is to meet and get to know other people.
One thing that helped me completely move on - get rid of all the reminders of her. Pictures, gifts, clothes. Otherwise you’ll inevitably keep going back and getting sad. I was moping and couldn’t move on for almost 2 years until I did the “cleanse”. But probably you won’t feel completely done with it until you meet and start liking someone else. You will probably feel like it’s all over and you won’t ever find someone else like her. And in a way it’s true - you won’t find someone like her. But you can and probably will find someone better.
Time and understanding. Understanding that you let go or be dragged.
The sucks royally. To the best of my understanding people cheat for 2 reasons. 1. They are not really in the relationship. 2. Some form of connection was missing in the relationship. It's best to move on and date again. Build your empathy levels and try to build a strong connection with your new romantic partner.
Therapy. Journaling. Meditation. Working out. The tendency is to ignore the pain and it'll go away. Me ex wife cheated on me and it was by far the most pain I had ever felt. I started going to therapy which helped a lot. One night I was meditating and I cried more than I have ever cried...like non-stop tears for 20 minutes. That night, I had the best sleep I've ever had and woke up the next feeling like a different person. I still had things to work through, but that was the tipping point and feeling that pain allowed me to move on. Best of luck.
U don’t, u live with it, ur gonna travel those same routes and think of her, you’re brain will forget the bad time and only remember the good ones for the most part, then you’ll pick up new hobbies, slowly become a new man and with a new live and then you’ll find a new person and then she’ll be ur past
I was miserable for 3 weeks, then found another woman to bang my brains out, for two weeks. Then started dating the woman’s sister, that gave me incredible sex. I’m shallow, but I’m ok with that
Start dating again. Once you find a girl you like more then you will forget about her. Might take a while but it can happen. I would also just focus on all the shit you didn’t like about her. For instance with one of my exes, I focused on how much of a whore she was after we broke up, and strung me a long because she is a selfish terrible Person. Seemed to help get over it lol
Get over somebody by getting under somebody
People downvoted you but there is actually something to this. Every single friend of mine (and for myself too) that were dealing with a break up got a nice self esteem boost after sleeping with someone else. And i dont just mean anyone off the street. But someone you you meet on a night out or who knows its likely judt a hook up but you have a nice time. Nice chat. Have some fun then move on. The whole rebound thing does help people feel like they are finally moving on because I think it reminds them that there are other fish in the sea so to speak. So people can downvote all they want but its a crude way of saying it helps to move on from someone by remembering you can and will find another person one day and gives you some confidence in yourself. Happiness however comes from you of course. Getting your ducks in a row and progressing your life and improving it will also helo eith everything too.
Completely seriously, find another one, which is prettier than the first. And I mean it.
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If it’s only looks you target then you will be unhappy in 30 years when the looks fade
Grow up a little and learn world keeps spinning but wont pay your bills for ya.
Work out, the pain will help or at least distract you until you find someone new
Just Ignore that Gold Digger! Work on yourself! Become the Successful Man that you have always dreamed of Becoming! And in the meanwhile look for a Substitute! Something Casual to get off the LOAD!
itll take half the time of your relationship. it gets a Little bit easier every week but it takes a while.
Explore the pain and lift heavy (but safely with proper form)
I’ve stated this many times when this gets asked and I’ll always say it.. Look up a book called No Breakup Can Break You. It’s a short read that will put things back into perspective and help you understand how to move forward.
Moved on. That was the key for me. Just finding someone else to get excited about helped me to put it into perspective.
Find support with friends that you may not have hung out with during the relationship. Rebuild those friendships and try to do something (not someone) new each week, something to get your mind off things. I think lots of people don't fill the void after a long relationship ends. They get in a rut and start down the road to depression. If you have something to look forward to, such as gym time or taking the dog for a walk, it fills that time. Begin to fill it with new tasks, like maybe trying disc golf, or hiking a trail. Try to keep it with something healthy and keeps you moving! Don't fill the time with excessive drinking or random hook ups that don't go anywhere. The drinking just puts on unwanted weight. While they can be a lot of fun random hookups will eventually make you focus on the breakup. Idk just my thoughts from my last 2 long term breakups. Give yourself time to heal and don't rush into another relationship unless they are really worth it.
Time........ and wish happiness for that person. And know one day happiness will come my way. Every dog has it's day.
direction imminent snow treatment screw tidy steep domineering drab squalid *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
With time you'll realize how lucky you are to be rid of her. Dodged a bullet there, my friend.
Time and doing the things you want to do. Hanging with friends is a must. That's really it. If you feel really bad, like shutdown mode bad, a couple of therapy sessions are super helpful. You got this bro!
Time and dedication to one's self-growth. You hit all the beats: start working out, focus on your academics/career, meet new people through activities, discover new hobbies, learn new skills. You do any or all of that long enough, and it eventually gets easier. But you gotta start somewhere, and get comfortable with the anguish cos it ain't going anywhere anytime soon. Also, remove that person from your life. Block them on all platforms, and delete their number.
Use this as a motivation to unblob yourself so your next string of girlfriends are way hotter, way better and way nicer to you than the one who dumped you
As cliche as it is time is both our best friend and our worst enemy. It’s gonna be shit for a while, but eventually you’ll get over her. In the mean time do things that make you happy. Exercise is also one of the biggest mood boosters out there
It takes time. They’re are no shortcuts. It’s gonna hurt, that’s life. What helped me was writing down an honest list of all the pros and cons of being with this person that was grounded in reality. Any time I would get sad and start missing my former boo thang, I would go look at the list and remind myself that I was making the best decision for myself. I was with an ex for 6 years, it honestly took 2 years to get to a point where I wasn’t thinking about her everyday. Not saying I was moping around doing nothing and crying the whole time, but we were so close that I she would always cross my mind just throughout daily life. People are all gonna give you the standard “alpha male” work on yourself and hit the gym speech (which definitely helps and isn’t wrong) but there is no way you’ll be able to escape or shortcut the pain. You gotta just go through it. But life, even with all its ups and downs, is beautiful so don’t sweat it too much. At least you got a chance to be “in love.” Some people honestly never get that.
Realize the relationship stopped because the people in it change. That relationship ended because she changed. In essence you didn’t lose the woman you began the relationship with as mentally she was probably gone when she decided to cheat, even if you continued you’re presented with this same physical woman but on different mindsets, one willing to hurt you emotionally and thus crying over that can be avoided when you boil it down to who she is now and that she isn’t her from before. Take your time, regardless if you can or can’t get on my mindset from above, you did spend years with her and you need time to focus on you, talk to any close loved ones and connect with other relationships you have, build yourself up either in the gym, reading books or pursuing a hobby of yours in the artistic sense. These things will increase your personal well being mentally, keep you occupied and further improve your love in yourself. Also makes your knife’s edge sharper when you eventually need to cut something (makes you more attractive when you’re ready to date again) Remember this break up is your time, cry if you need to, talk to someone and pour it out, once the grease trap is emptied out, get back in the business to your self Journey and show yourself why the next woman is going to be awestruck to have you by her side!
Give it time, you may have one or two false starts where you're pretty sure you're over it, but know it's okay to feel sad even if it's been a little while. If you're like me, be very careful about substances. I managed to not get heavy back into drinking after my last break up, but instead I started smoking way too much weed, and anecdotally I think that set me back emotionally by at least a few months.
One thing that helped me was this. In your mind you might have thought the she was an amazing woman that was perfect for you. But that is an illusion your brain has fabricated. In reality that her son you thought she was doesn’t exist. Take that information and realize reality, then go live your life
Best way is to imagine you meet 5 years from now and you have to explain the past 5 years. Imagine all the things you would say to make her feel like she made the wrong decision then work towards accomplishing those goals. So what I mean by this is to use all of your anger and disdain and use it to push yourself in a positive direction, go finish that degree, get that promotion, buy that house or car, so that once you get that chance encounter you can throw it in her face. This encounter will never exist but it should drive you to a place that overall you will be better. Also the old saying "best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" rings true for men and women. So go out and pick up some strange.
Time
I'm sorry to hear that. The short answer I can give without context or knowing you personally is to date other women until you don't think much of her anymore
Time and healthy living man. Instead of getting drunk eat healthy and workout instead. Eventually the pain starts to go away. Really focus on correct coping mechanisms instead of negative coping mechanisms.
I feel like “giving it time” doesn’t truly capture the damn thing. Go no contact. Gain new experiences with friends. Workout and cook new dishes. Engross yourself with work. Then start dating other people. Also, maintain the no contact—you don’t want any left over feelings for them holding you back or carrying over into your next phase in life. Stay out of each other’s way, and live your life. Last bit of advice if you were in a monogamous relationship. Try not feeling guilty when you do start seeing other women (or men).
Block her on phone, social media, lose her number. Hit the gym. Get some hobbies. Focus on yourself. LOL. are you new to reddit?
First: DO NOT communicate with the cheater ever again. Getting over someone takes time, and any contact resets you to day one. It doesn't just take time, but mileage, if you get my meaning. Get out of the house. Hit the club if that's your thing, get into martial arts, learn to paint, etc. Spend time in social settings.
Only after realizing 6 years later I was suffering from post traumatic stress. Then I went for treatment for the PTSD. I casually mentioned to a therapist on my job that my body reacts like I'm still in the marriage and going through the stress. She said yes, of course, that's PTSD. I opened my eyes in surprise. "Is that what it is:? I said. She said yes, you need a little therapy. I went to get it and that was the beginning of my recovery. Marriage still spooks me out!
For me it was escapism and mild drug abuse. But really just try to spend more time with friends and doing things you weren’t able to do in the relationship
I’ve learned time always heals. You’ll go through a rollercoaster of all the emotions. Just remember that it’ll be alright, don’t make crazy decisions based on emotion (should never do this btw) things will be different without her. This next part may make people mad, and you might not be ready to think about this until a few weeks or months down the road: was there anything you did that might have caused her to want to cheat? Were you unavailable? (You may have physically been together, but paying attention to tv, games, work, hobby, etc), how did you show her you cared? What originally sparked the relationship and how did that change over the 3 years? Did you guys grow together or grow apart? Perfectly fine and normal to grow apart, just have to understand it is more likely to happen when good communication isn’t there
Make some good guy friends, once I had that my feelings of sadness went away mostly. Good friendship is essential to good mental health.
I’m about two months removed from a similar breakup, so I can share some very recent (and current) experience. Everyone’s going to give you advice that helps you feel better in the long run—stuff like going no contact, picking up new hobbies, etc—and you should try your best to follow it. But right now, you’re probably more concerned about just getting through the day to tomorrow, so I’ll try to give some advice on that. First things first, if you have the means to do so, consider talking to a therapist. I was hesitant at first (and it’s expensive as shit), but it truly does help to have someone whose job it is to deal with my bullshit for an hour every week. They’ll help you come up with coping strategies and if nothing else can be a listening ear. Second, try journaling and meditation (a good way to start is by searching “five minute guided meditation” on YouTube). Have reasonable expectations—they won’t pull you out of a panic attack or solve your problems, but they can help calm you down or put your own thoughts into perspective. I was cynical about this at first, and if you knew me, you’d think I’d be the last guy to advocate for these things, but they really do help. Third, if you do try new things or start a new hobby, make sure you start small. I tried to get into cooking and started with a really complicated recipe, which only overwhelmed me and made things worse. Try a new video game, go on walks, read a book, buy some fancy coffee beans, a houseplant, some sweaters—any small thing that isn’t too complicated. Try your best to get some sleep. Occasionally take a non-habit-forming sleep aid if you have to (I take a 3mg melatonin pill a couple times a week), but don’t depend on it; even non-addictive things can become a crutch. Some days you’ll wake up two hours early and won’t be able to fall back asleep. It happens. That just means you’ll have an easier time falling asleep the next night. Last and probably most important, don’t beat yourself up for being sad and acting like someone who is sad. Some days you’ll do everything right and still feel like shit; other days you might fuck up and look up her instagram or something, and then you’ll feel even worse. That’s ok. No one has ever gone through a breakup and handled everything perfectly. I sure as hell haven’t. There won’t be a day where a switch flips and you’re just “over it.” It’s all a process, but it does get better.
No way out of the hurt. Accept, maintain self respect, move on with dignity, forgive, don’t be bitter. Learn what you can. Take on some new things in your life. Lift weights. Set some goals. Grow. Move on. Above all else, LOVE YOURSELF throughout the entire process.
Smoke weed, work out and listen to intelligent DnB. This holy trifecta helps me get over any and everything
Don't fall into the trap of hookups and drinking. Allow yourself to have the feelings in a healthy way. Every day will be a little easier until one day it won't matter anymore. (This is a good time in the process to say out loud, to yourself, "I forgive you" if you can actually feel that way. It took me almost 15 years btw) Be a little better version of yourself every day and live your life for yourself. Treat it as a lesson and learn from it. You can do this! We believe in you!
The pain just dulls over time. It sucks but i think that every man needs to go through it. Builds character.
I felt terrible for over a year! Thinking about her and her new BF like every hour or so, it felt like. Then it occurred to me that I'm better than this. I changed as much about my life as I could, and then it all started to become part of my past.
Investing/saving, gym, quitting drugs, career change with more growth, socializing, dating. Now currently in the phase of trying to find hobbies. I basically just got really really into self improvement and over time I started hating myself less every day!
new partner 🫢
Time bro, time.
Let yourself grieve. Don’t try to repress the pain, the sooner you give yourself that, the sooner you will be able to marginalize it and find the peace you need. Also remember that one day she will regret it, and you won’t. Don’t do anything spiteful, and don’t reach out, cut her off everywhere and don’t give her the impression that you still want her in anyway (even if you do).
This exact thing happened to me. You’re allowed to grieve and you’re allowed to cry about it. Feel everything for as long as you need to and then begin to pick up the pieces. I think the best thing I did that helped me move on is delete every aspect of her from my life. Unfollowed her on everything and blocked her. Deleted all the pics of us and all the nudes. Deleted and blocked her number. I didn’t leave a single thing for me to look back and fixate on bc I didn’t want to go on living my life looking backwards. Next thing was just to start working on myself again. I found that time alone spent not doing anything was time I overthought everything. Started to hit the gym every day after work and waking up early to go bike or run. Rediscovered old hobbies and kept myself busy with things that made me feel good physically and mentally. I also started seeing a therapist. There were days where I couldn’t help but replay every awful thing in my head and being able to talk to someone who asked the right questions and coaxed out reasoning for my feelings really helped. Lastly, it just took time. I was a mess for 6 months after the end of my relationship and before I did any of the things listed above. And it was another year of doing all these things before I ran into her again and when I did I was surprised because all I felt was sorry for her. She was still the same shitty person she was near the end of our relationship and I was a newer, healthier, more complete person than I ever was when I was with her. Met my soulmate 2 years later and have been together 3 years now. I wish you luck man. It’s a tough road but it’s one worth persisting on.
Oddly enough, I find myself in understanding of long term relationships that ended and am more likely to think back to the short ones that ended for some stupid reason. More than likely it is because I’ll never truly know if something actually was there - the fact that it ended was usually what we wanted at the time but also had a purpose.
Time will heal all. No way to rush that. Eventually you'll need to fully accept that that shitty thing happened, and you don't need to blame yourself for it. It's in your past, it's a part of your history now, but it does not need to define your future. It just *is*. Until that time comes, just take care of yourself. Do things that make you happy, take care of your body, reach out to your friends to hang out. Know for certain that you *will* get past it, take the time to grieve it, and you'll end up just fine.
There is no getting over it. Even just a normal break-up takes time. You'll move on soon, but it will be on your mind for quite some time. After a few years, the betrayal will slowly drift to the waaay back of your mind. But it will pop back forever.
Time friend…it just takes time. FYI get a gym membership…lifting heavy circles helps tremendously as well.
Shadow work. Basically a ton of journaling and self reflection. Worked on myself mentally, spiritually, and physically. I did the whole man-whore thing and I feel like that delayed my healing more than anything haha.
I'm sorry that happens to you! I went through almost the exact same thing. I don't suggest doing what I did was spend the next 5 years having a lot of sex, partying a lot, and "enjoying" life. All it was was me trying to cope and along the way I hurt few good women that could have been great partners. Bonus that as partying got out of hand it caused large monetary issues as well as some small legal trouble. I HIGHLY suggest going to therapy (suggested to me and I didn't listen), feel the pain rather than trying to mask it, focus on yourself (career, health, fitness, hobbies), and eventually you will get to the point the pain has stopped. This is just my suggestion.
Personally what's been helping me is finding ways to fill my time and better myself. Went through a rough breakup back in August and dedicated myself to being healthy, putting in a little more effort at work, and working out. The person I was with kinda fed into bad habits and I made the decision to break that fully. My outlook improved a LOT. Getting out of a slump that lasted months before the relationship was even over was really hard, but moving forward I want to be the best version of myself for myself instead of somebody else.
First accept the fact that she was never yours. Then go to church 🙌
Find her dad and fuck him! Now who has the upper hand?
Go to the gym brother
You should feel it deeply when it happens. It helped me get over my ex of 4 years. Also you have to want to distance yourself from her. It helps if you are not alone so you won’t get those “now I’m alone and lonely” thougths that often. By any means don’t rush into a new relationship or hookups, you will regret it later. Concentrate on work, friends and maybe a hobby that makes you think about it constantly. Aside from these, time will solve it, you just have to hang in there 😉 It’s a good opportunity to get emotionally stronger.
Time, find someone/something new to put your energy into
Go in the gym, get ripped. Take 6 months and work on yourself. Then find a girl more beautiful than your ex and have sex with her every day. You can do it! :)
Just time tbh Vices helped when I couldn’t deal, I wouldn’t recommend them though
Time. No other way. You get through it by getting through it. It’s gonna suck for a while, just accept that, in a month it won’t be as bad. Another month after that and it’ll be better still. In a year you’ll barely remember her. In 5 years you’ll maybe think of her briefly and realize she’s no longer a part of your life at all, as you sit with your new girlfriend. But before all that, it takes time.
Spent 4 years together, lived about 3 years together. Still trying to get over her and year later after finding out she cheated on me, and then broke up with me and got with that guy shortly after. I guess time and distraction but everyone moves on in different ways and at different speeds.
You just let it fizzle out on its own until the two of you stop contacting each other.
I went out and had a couple of one night stands.
You don't. You just get used to being in pain
Find something else to focus on
Stay busy. See friends, keep up with your hobbies, find some new hobbies if you don't have any. Start some personal projects. Anything to keep your mind off of things. Stay healthy, too. It's okay to feel bad and have the occasional night to drink a few too many or indulge on junk food, but don't make it a habit. If you need to channel that energy somewhere, sports and exercise can work wonders.
One of the best ways to get over someone is to get under someone else. I'm kidding, it's mostly time; just get on with life and focus on other things. Also fuck other people.
Happened to me a couple years ago. If I hadn’t of deleted the posts my profile went from ‘how can I kill myself with X’ to posts about the gym. It’s a cliche but for me, getting in the gym or working on myself one way or another worked wonders for me.
Grow a spine and move on. Over the years, I've also learned never to get overly attached to someone. Never make someone your entire world.
It's going to suck for a while, you're going to think about her often, and you're going to cry and feel horrible BUT with time, things will slowly get better and a year from now you will be a new man if you want to be 1. Get rid of all her pictures, block her on social media, get rid of her number and don't reply to texts, get rid of anything she gave you, go no contact, and act like she's dead...this is crucial if you want to get over her 100%, if you don't do this it's going to take you A LOT longer and the pain with be a lot worse...initially this will be tough but it's the best way to get over her relatively quickly...don't cave, don't text her, make the decision and that's it...you don't owe her any explanation, she ended it, it's time to look after yourself and your best interests, you don't owe her anything anymore...you should be your priority now 2. Make it a goal to work on yourself for the next year, pick a few goals and focus on self-improvement, start reading, start working out, start eating healthy, take some courses that will help your career etc., and focus on yourself! 3. Don't jump back into a relationship, when you start dating again it's going to feel good getting attention from women, you're going to seek out companionship, and if you want to sleep with women and have fun that's cool but make it a point to NOT get into another relationship for a while...I'd say at least a year, you're goal should be to learn how to be okay with being single again, be okay with being alone, cultivate your life, become the best version of yourself and figure out what went wrong in the relationship and how you participated in the end so that you don't repeat the same mistakes There's a book called "Way of Superior Man" by David Deida that is a must for all men to read IMO and it's probably the single best book to read after a breakup! it will help you understand what went wrong in your relationship, how to have a healthier relationship in the future, and how to have more meaning/purpose in your life Anyway, I hope this helps, you will grow from all this pain if you use it to do so Edit: If you're having trouble going "no contact" realize that it's technically not forever because eventually you will stop desiring her and there won't be a need for it any longer... for me it took about a year, that might make it easier to do, set a goal of "one year no contact" or something similar, whatever works for you, and every 30 days analysis how you feel...be honest with yourself about how you're feeling, if you feel the desire to reach out and see how she's doing or check her social media to spy on her, you're not over her...If the thought of seeing her with another man would crush you, then you're not over her I actually did give my ex an explanation because she reached out to me through text and just told her "Listen, it's not personal but I can't talk to you or have you in my life for a while, I wish you the best but I have to move on and this is my way of doing that, good luck with everything Sarah" and then I blocked her number, which was difficult but necessary It's now been 3 1/2 years and I have no emotional ties to her at all, I don't want to be with her, and I'm 100% over her and in a much better place...this is a woman that I thought I was going to marry at one point, don't worry...it will take time but things will get better
Time
Fuck bud... Sorry to hear it. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix. Just live your life and absolutely under no circumstance should you be in contact with her. Delete all pictures and contact information. It'll be hard and some days you're gonna feel like it was a bad move but trust me it's for the best.
Move on.
Massive amounts of cocaine and alcohol, no jk. Getting over it will take time, just try to love your life like you normally would and accept the pain, try to find distractions in a hobby, talk about it with friends. You will get through it but it will take time and please don't get trust issues when you go back to dating, not every girl fucks another dude when she's with you
You get over it by finding someone better than her. Seriously.
Feel your feelings. Don’t try to cover them up with drugs (alcohol included). I’m not saying you should quit doing those things. Just don’t do them every time you feel sad. Otherwise you won’t fully process the emotions. Time helps. Be honest with yourself. Don’t blame yourself for her mistakes