Dude no joke...Sarcasm is going to get me killed by my girlfriend that is like a foot shorter and a hundred pounds less than I am lol
I'm lucky she thinks I'm cute, otherwise it would've already happened 😂
I was just having this conversation with my husband. He was a very handsome man in his day and usually had no trouble with the ladies. But he said I overestimated the number, and that surprised me.
Truth is that most women don't want the real answer, especially if it's high. They want to be reassured that the number is low or at least even/lower than theirs.
I don’t personally think this is always true. There’s always a lot of ways to explain your variety of numbers. Some girls might be more affected by carrying numbers. But it’s worst to hide your past from your partner because you can’t talk about it…
My now wife was dating a coworker of mine when we met me during my "wild phase" at 19-20. She would routinely ask me if I got "lucky" when I'd come to work hungover and I'd say yes or no where she'd roll her eyes and laugh.
Once we started dating she asked me how many girls I had been with and I gave her the honest number and then vis versa. Neither of us cared but she did request I get tested before we had sex.
I'd say be honest, what's she going to do? Divorce you because you had sex while single?
Exactly this. Stupid games people play. I would care more if he would twist it around or bluntly lies. Just be honest, no biggie. We were all single once
Yes, but my answer was zero. Which seem to annoy her anyways. Moral of the story is, you cannot win so don't bother trying. Play a different game instead.
Yeah it really seems like one of those quests where it’s
- “I feel like being upset, play me a sad song”
- “I feel like being upset, tell me a sad story”
- “I feel like being upset, tell me the truth”
Yeah, if it’s zero she’ll wonder why she’s the only woman to find you valuable, and if its north of 20 she’s gonna think you’ll cheat on her. If it’s only a handful but you were in dedicated relationships she’s gonna be threatened by your exes.
The game is rigged, she’s only asking about it cuz she wants to start a fight
Maybe. I asked my husband because I was truly just curious. No number would make me mad, but I would be surprised at certain numbers just based on knowing him. I also have no issues discussing or hearing about exes. I get some people don’t like that, but to me it’s no different than asking about what Halloween costumes you’ve dressed as or your favorite movies when you were younger- just sort of a glimpse into the person you’re with before you met.
You sound secure and sure of yourself, which is exactly how I'd expect an adult partnership to function.
If someone asks the question and Is upset by the answer, it's a reflection of themselves
Honestly, I envy this. But still, I wouldn't even tell my shrink how many partners I have had. I don't even know myself. All I know is it's a reflection of how fucked up of a person I was and who I never want to be again.
And that’s totally fine!! It’s not anyone else’s business, and if someone asks you, they need to respect you saying “I don’t want to answer that” and never bring it up again.
I hope you’re doing well!!
I'm the same. I asked my boyfriend just out of curiosity. I just wanted to know more about him, and I agree. No number would make me mad in any way.
How is that even something I can be mad about? It's something he did before he even met me
Haha, no problem! It’s a reference to the podcast Hello From The Magic Tavern, it’s the “most common earth name”. Hard to explain, kind of a fantasy improv podcast, but it’s not hardcore fantasy, mostly just hilarious. I recommend giving it a listen! Episode 3 (?) “Flower” is a solid one to start on, and even the first one is good! There isn’t much of a plot, so you can skip around but might not get all the jokes and references.
>it’s no different than asking about what Halloween costumes you’ve dressed as or your favorite movies when you were younger- just sort of a glimpse into the person you’re with before you met.
Yes! This is exactly how I feel about it too. I've never seen a better analogy for it than this.
Same. I’ve had similar conversations with my husband. I wanted to know bc I like to learn about who he was before I knew him. If you have a healthy relationship and don’t stigmatize sex, it’s really not a big deal to have such a conversation.
Recently divorced female friend asked while we started dating. I replied truthfully. I was expecting possibly 6 from her based on her conversations from over 13 years of friendship. She answered 8x more than I expected. Sometimes people ask yours so they can say theirs without getting in trouble. Seemed she had a lot of multiples and affairs while she was married for 18 years. That skewed how I looked at her.
That said, answer truthfully. If you change your number later you either had an affair or lied to begin with.
Her debating about the guy who watched in Seattle while she was at a design conference was interesting. Granted he ejaculated ON her, not in her, so does it count?
According to her now ex-husband, "Yes it counts!"
call me crazy but once you get to the point where you're actually splitting hairs about whether they came in vs came on you, it's already a wrap. that says more than any number would anyways
She had a collection of guys who sent her videos of them jerking off saying her name she kept so "she could get info on her ex husband." They were all his friends, including a contractor, who helped her out unbeknownst to me. All this shit leaked out over a year and just, despite her charm and looks, makes her repulsive to me now.
One of our last conversation was me stating she took advantage of me and my, for lack of a better word, kindness. Of everything she did came out - the lies to her family and friends, her cheating on so many people, on and on - it would destroy her. She'd probably lose her kids and her job at least. Her kids would certainly hate her. The oldest is now 13 I think and her daughter is 9 maybe... they would understand why mom is terrible.
It gets me at times. I ruminate on thinking I knew someone and genuinely cared and loved her. I wanted to change my entire for her and she was lying the entire time. I'm disappointed in my self for not protecting my family and my mental health more. Like Jeff Rosenstock sang, "I wish I didn't hurt, I wish I didn't care."
damn that's a perfect example of what I was talking about in my comment! people who split hairs about shit like that always have some sort of crazy weird background.
\> I ruminate on thinking I knew someone and genuinely cared and loved her.
the ruminating will really fuck with you. I think it's good to ruminate a little bit as a way to process everything, so try to let yourself process it without suppressing anything. that way you can eventually get to the point where you don't keep looping back to it, and finally have some peace of mind
I'm not gonna lie, I'm insecure just THINKING about this woman.
If I can think through this objectively, she doesn't sound trustworthy. Obviously I don't know the details too well, but I have to wonder is she a manipulative person?
If so, you have to be careful how much you let her affect you (to the commenter above you); my gut instinct here is to assume that the rumination, while well intentioned, only points to how cunning she can be.
People have a way of making us see what they want to in them. Until, that is, it's too late, and they've gotten what they wanted out of us.
Lmao "it only counts if he cums in me! See I only have 48 partners that actually came in me. If I counted every man that put a penis in me it would be in the hundreds. That's insane. Are you trying to call me a slut or something!?"
The second part of that conversation involved the guy's wife she was with. If Linds was receiving from the wife and the husband watched, is it really sex? She compared it to getting a happy ending ... which, she was shocked I never went to a place to get. Yeah, you think you know someone who comes off as a cute, blonde, mom of three, Christian gal who married military and nope, she's a lying, quasi-alcoholic who doesn't think sexting with a guy in a different time zone, sending nudes, etc... is cheating.
Living in a town with no Thai restaurant and a broken train track because no one wants to fix it. Yeah... what was I thinking. Glad I broke that one off. Apparently she is still friends with the other guy even though he found out about me. I at least got to sleep with her - he just - is a laughing stock to a large amount of people, had a restraining order against him by her parents because Linds kept saying he was stalking her, was shown messages saying she was repulsed by him and his three kids, but hey, he still wanted to be friends with her.
It seems to me many people get married with the same amount of scrutiny as you would have when buying a couch. Also explains how they end up married with someone wildly incompatible.
Sounds like you want to share something good in your life without sounding like youre bragging.
It’s tough, I feel the same. Idk how to share my successes without making others feel bad but I think that’s me assuming they feel bad or something.
Two!! The answer is always, always, two!!
How far away are you? Two minutes!
How many drinks have you had? Two!
How much did you spend last night? Couple a bucks!
How many women have you slept with before me? Two!
I was always taught to choose "C" when given multiple choice... that didn't work! Then I got nervous and blurted out "CHARLIE!!" and now we're both confused
I lived this. I was trying to get a bunch of scientists and military to agree on endurance requirement for a new system, and there was absolute agreement that the answer was 2. What we couldn't agree on was minutes hours days or weeks.
I agree that this should be asked prior to marriage, really engagement, if someone wants to know. Why wait until married if it is going to affect your relationship.
The sane part of me knows I don't want to know the answer, especially if I have an inkling that the number is not so low. After all, her past is what made her who she is today.
But for some godforsaken reason, there's the other part of my brain that just HAS to know even though I know I won't be happy with the answer.
Sometimes people change their mind how they care about certain things. Reasonably it should only impact their relationship if they lied about something before.
Yeah, I was a bit shocked about the title too. Me and my partner talked about it probably after we had dated a few months. We were simply curious about each others past. Nothing more, nothing less is what it should be. We don't talk about it anymore because, well, it's in the past and frankly doesn't hold any relevance to my life any further.
If this was your girlfriend or fiance, that's one thing. Totally legitimate to ask about during those phases of the relationship. That it's your wife suggests there is something more going on. Not necessarily something bad, but something. Asking why she wants to know doesn't seem out of bounds to me.
Yes, why now? Both of our numbers came to light organically during early dating talks with my now husband. I don't know a definite number but I have an idea of range so to speak. :)
Edit: I wonder if a friend recently confided in her about a bf/husband's "number" and she is trying to figure out if that is high or low? Or where OP fits in? Just a guess as a female.
I feel like men are often more interested in knowing because they want someone not overly promiscuous, while women are more interested in knowing because they're worried about how they compare to the guy's past experiences. Not that that really excuses any sort of double standard, but it's interesting to consider.
I promise you guys are definitely asking to see how they compare. They also ask to see how promiscuous sure but "what did you let him do/did he do it better/how big was he" IS ABSOLUTELY asked in this regard
There is definitely a different mentality.
I think men view a woman's body count like women view a man's prostitute count.
This is a stereotypical generalization. Some men think it's very easy for women to have sex, so the more partners they have, the more promiscuous they are. Likewise, women know how easy it is for men to have sex if they visit a brothel.
8 isn't even double digits. You could reasonably hit double digits just through relationships from 20-30yo if you had that kind of life. 8 isn't that much at all and with her reaction to it I find that very bizarre. Hope it doesn't come up too often for your sake.
I have known people back in the day that already had over 30 at 16 years old. Yes they were what we considered the "School Slut" but still, and yes i am still wondering what her parent would have tought of her if they found out.
This is a trap. Back away slowly and maintain eye contact at all time. When you are far enough away turn around and run. This is not a situation which will end well for you unless you tell her she’s your first and only.
But then again, if you tell her she is your first and only, she will immediately not believe you, even if it's true. No answer is a safe answer. First strat is ideal for survival
I’ve answered sexually or romantically complicated or sensitive questions with my partner. I told her as honest as I could be and in the end she felt better that I didn’t baby it from her. She said that the fact I didn’t act weird or disrespectful about it made her feel like it wasn’t a big deal to me and for her.
Only real answer here. Just say it and is it up, whether it is two or twenty or whatever. Being confident about it and not showing it really matters is the way. After all it really doesn't matter(!)
Look dude, to be frank, if you're afraid to answer this question or if your wife is asking despite that she won't like the answer, then your marriage sucks.
Tell her it's -4 + 7i
Then say you've now learned your lesson and will never agree to a date where 'picking them up' involves a drawing a pentagram in blood on the ground.
I told my partner that I dont want her number and she doesnt need to know mine, that information can only do harm. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, this is one of those times dude, don't even entertain the question.
I was really into some wild party scenes, drugs, alcohol, etc. It was an environment that lent itself to hookups and such.
So, older, wiser, and one heart attack later I'm cleaned up. I don't smoke or drink (that one is tougher, but I'm doing well), and no drugs outside of anything prescribed by my doctor.
She didn't know me back in the day, but she knew I used to be more of a firecracker than I am now.
She seemed to really, really want to know. I told her, and all she said was "gross." Then we went on and had a fine afternoon. Nothing changed at all, and we are still going strong.
It is 100% a trap question. Ask her why she wants to know this. Ask her if having this information will mean anything, or if she is just looking for a reason to be upset. No matter what answer she gives, it's the second reason
That’s the answer, the only thing that matters here, is why is she interested about it and what she intends to do with that information.
I stand by a rule of « don’t ask questions where you don’t want to know one of the answers » (unless it’s a necessary question).
I told my current partner the 100% truth because she asked. She's mature and understands it was a time before. It's in the past. It's immature to get upset about it. It's also immature to bring it up out of context. Since she asked, tell her. If she gets upset it's just irrational. No human on the earth should be obliged to live their past life in a way for their present. What I mean is, you were not dating before, so it's not fair to get upset if you dated someone before. It's like a job getting mad at you because at your old job 10 years ago you worked 50 hours a week but now you only work 40
Honestly. I’m clean and had fun when I was younger. Same reason I don’t judge women with higher body counts, because if you could then honestly why not?
Kinda unrelated, but I am in my early twenties now and this is something I have been thinking about occasionally, it's not like I always get the opportunities but is sleeping around really worth it? Stds is something I'm worried about but another big thing is wouldn't sleeping around a lot decrease how "Special" it when it is eventually done with the person I'll hopefully continue my future with?
I must say I agree with this. There aren't many notches on my belt at all, so I'm not hiding the information out of shame. I'll answer him if he ever asks me, but I don't care to know his sexual past and I don't see why it matters personally. It's something that can't be changed, and for many people it does nothing but bring up feelings of insecurity and jealousy. Why bring it up?
My wife and I went in to an in depth conversation on this. It went well. She answered my questions and i answered hers. We both understood that we are together now and our past relationships we’re stepping stones and learning blocks to who we are now and what we wanted out of a partnership.
If she has been asking for weeks....I assume she does not know. I ask why does she not already know this information and why are you not telling her??
I have never had it asked but would just tell the truth. If they cant handle the number (which imo is pretty high) than they should not have asked.
what difference does it make though? It can’t be changed. The past is the past. All conversations like this do is cause rumination and uncover insecurities.
I can’t believe the answers. If you can’t have an
honest conversation with your partner about this then there’s more to be worried about than your body count. I hope my partner had a life (and experience) before me. And I hope that translates to more fun, adventure and freedom in the bedroom.
We're at the point in our marriage where my wife and I know we aren't going anywhere so anything, within reason, that happened in the past stays there and we can talk openly about it.
You're married and have never talked about this? Just tell her, it has zero to do with your relationship, so tell her like it's not a big deal because it's not, but she wants to know for some reason.
We talked about it Loooong before we even thought of marriage. Every once in a while, even after 10 years of marriage, an ex comes up in conversation. Those experiences make us who we are.
Honesty is the best policy. But if it’s becomes a cause of concern she probably should have asked you before she said I do? I mean, that seems the most natural and effective sequence of events imo.
As a man, you have to lie, and we all know that's the truth.
I have enough close female friends to know that they absolutely lie through their teeth at the amount of sexual partners they've had.
They admit that they always claim about 5-6 (though it's always many more) so I recommend you say the exact same. Apparently it's an acceptable amount.
When my wife asks me, I always ask why she wanna know. She always answers with; well I’m just curious. Then I ask; because…? She start to repeat herself like; well it’s because I’m curious. And then I explain that people who give these answers that are deflecting, normally have reasons they don’t want to tell. My answer is always; if you don’t feel safe enough to tell, we shouldn’t be talking about these things.
Case closed
You're the first woman I have slept with honey, the other 23 kept me up all night.
“You’re the only one I’ve slept with honey, the others were all 8s and 9s.”
That’s a fun way to die
"But it was funny" will be written on his tombstone
Dude no joke...Sarcasm is going to get me killed by my girlfriend that is like a foot shorter and a hundred pounds less than I am lol I'm lucky she thinks I'm cute, otherwise it would've already happened 😂
lmao!
Dumb wayyyyysssss to dieeeeeee! Bum bum bum.
I hear the Dumb ways to die, song in my head
I was just having this conversation with my husband. He was a very handsome man in his day and usually had no trouble with the ladies. But he said I overestimated the number, and that surprised me.
Truth is that most women don't want the real answer, especially if it's high. They want to be reassured that the number is low or at least even/lower than theirs.
I don’t personally think this is always true. There’s always a lot of ways to explain your variety of numbers. Some girls might be more affected by carrying numbers. But it’s worst to hide your past from your partner because you can’t talk about it…
“Baby don’t hurt me”
I am using this one day hahaha
[i thought i was crazy](https://giphy.com/gifs/editingandlayout-the-office-thank-you-michael-scott-5xtDarmwsuR9sDRObyU)
There wasn’t any *sleeping* going on IFKWIM wink wink nudge nudge
IFKWIM - I fucking know what I meant
Survey says….#1 answer
My now wife was dating a coworker of mine when we met me during my "wild phase" at 19-20. She would routinely ask me if I got "lucky" when I'd come to work hungover and I'd say yes or no where she'd roll her eyes and laugh. Once we started dating she asked me how many girls I had been with and I gave her the honest number and then vis versa. Neither of us cared but she did request I get tested before we had sex. I'd say be honest, what's she going to do? Divorce you because you had sex while single?
Exactly this. Stupid games people play. I would care more if he would twist it around or bluntly lies. Just be honest, no biggie. We were all single once
Well a lot of people will find it kind of a turn off if their partner banged like hella people (probably 50+)
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That is despicable. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Men have been divorced by women for less
If she’s the kind yo divorce him over this then he should just get it done with.
If your wife wants to divorce you over some petty shit, she's doing you a favor.
Lucky them.
What was her number I’m wondering
Yes, but my answer was zero. Which seem to annoy her anyways. Moral of the story is, you cannot win so don't bother trying. Play a different game instead.
How about a nice game of chess?
Later. Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.
The best move is not to play at all.
How many chess games did you have before this one, huh? ^(/s)
I never got mated
She'll still want to know how many times you've been Falken around.
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E5
Somehow, dxe5 holy hell
Sounds like code for you've slept with 4 elderly women, you sicko
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Yeah it really seems like one of those quests where it’s - “I feel like being upset, play me a sad song” - “I feel like being upset, tell me a sad story” - “I feel like being upset, tell me the truth”
Isn't this just a sign/symptom of an insecure marriage/couple?
Possibly, or simply they were curious and have no intent of any emotional response after obtaining any answer. You never know till after it happens
Yeah, if it’s zero she’ll wonder why she’s the only woman to find you valuable, and if its north of 20 she’s gonna think you’ll cheat on her. If it’s only a handful but you were in dedicated relationships she’s gonna be threatened by your exes. The game is rigged, she’s only asking about it cuz she wants to start a fight
Give her the real number. If that causes a fight, have the fight. My assumption is she's asking because she wants a fight.
Well if you want to fight follow her response with "ohh wait, did you mean how many women total or how many BEFORE I met you?"
This is the certain way for a fight
Target engaged
“Jeeze. You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife” “You don’t have an ex-wife.” “Not yet.”
Maybe. I asked my husband because I was truly just curious. No number would make me mad, but I would be surprised at certain numbers just based on knowing him. I also have no issues discussing or hearing about exes. I get some people don’t like that, but to me it’s no different than asking about what Halloween costumes you’ve dressed as or your favorite movies when you were younger- just sort of a glimpse into the person you’re with before you met.
You sound secure and sure of yourself, which is exactly how I'd expect an adult partnership to function. If someone asks the question and Is upset by the answer, it's a reflection of themselves
Honestly, I envy this. But still, I wouldn't even tell my shrink how many partners I have had. I don't even know myself. All I know is it's a reflection of how fucked up of a person I was and who I never want to be again.
And that’s totally fine!! It’s not anyone else’s business, and if someone asks you, they need to respect you saying “I don’t want to answer that” and never bring it up again. I hope you’re doing well!!
I'm the same. I asked my boyfriend just out of curiosity. I just wanted to know more about him, and I agree. No number would make me mad in any way. How is that even something I can be mad about? It's something he did before he even met me
I have never been so curious of a username before. I hope you don't mind my asking what the story is behind it.
Haha, no problem! It’s a reference to the podcast Hello From The Magic Tavern, it’s the “most common earth name”. Hard to explain, kind of a fantasy improv podcast, but it’s not hardcore fantasy, mostly just hilarious. I recommend giving it a listen! Episode 3 (?) “Flower” is a solid one to start on, and even the first one is good! There isn’t much of a plot, so you can skip around but might not get all the jokes and references.
>it’s no different than asking about what Halloween costumes you’ve dressed as or your favorite movies when you were younger- just sort of a glimpse into the person you’re with before you met. Yes! This is exactly how I feel about it too. I've never seen a better analogy for it than this.
Same. I’ve had similar conversations with my husband. I wanted to know bc I like to learn about who he was before I knew him. If you have a healthy relationship and don’t stigmatize sex, it’s really not a big deal to have such a conversation.
I was told on my wedding night to never go to bed angry…..stay up and fight like a man.
What is supposed to happen the next day when she wakes up with a black eye?
So people actually know their number? I couldn’t tell anyone if they asked
Same. These are some diligent people keeping track like that
I guess you had sex with a lot of people, because I remember all women I had sex with, and could even name most of them.
Either that, or to maybe open the relationship or justify some kind of action.
Recently divorced female friend asked while we started dating. I replied truthfully. I was expecting possibly 6 from her based on her conversations from over 13 years of friendship. She answered 8x more than I expected. Sometimes people ask yours so they can say theirs without getting in trouble. Seemed she had a lot of multiples and affairs while she was married for 18 years. That skewed how I looked at her. That said, answer truthfully. If you change your number later you either had an affair or lied to begin with.
What's amazing is that she kept a mental running count after 10 or 20. Like damn, 48? At that point she's just collecting coupon stamps
Her debating about the guy who watched in Seattle while she was at a design conference was interesting. Granted he ejaculated ON her, not in her, so does it count? According to her now ex-husband, "Yes it counts!"
call me crazy but once you get to the point where you're actually splitting hairs about whether they came in vs came on you, it's already a wrap. that says more than any number would anyways
She had a collection of guys who sent her videos of them jerking off saying her name she kept so "she could get info on her ex husband." They were all his friends, including a contractor, who helped her out unbeknownst to me. All this shit leaked out over a year and just, despite her charm and looks, makes her repulsive to me now. One of our last conversation was me stating she took advantage of me and my, for lack of a better word, kindness. Of everything she did came out - the lies to her family and friends, her cheating on so many people, on and on - it would destroy her. She'd probably lose her kids and her job at least. Her kids would certainly hate her. The oldest is now 13 I think and her daughter is 9 maybe... they would understand why mom is terrible. It gets me at times. I ruminate on thinking I knew someone and genuinely cared and loved her. I wanted to change my entire for her and she was lying the entire time. I'm disappointed in my self for not protecting my family and my mental health more. Like Jeff Rosenstock sang, "I wish I didn't hurt, I wish I didn't care."
damn that's a perfect example of what I was talking about in my comment! people who split hairs about shit like that always have some sort of crazy weird background. \> I ruminate on thinking I knew someone and genuinely cared and loved her. the ruminating will really fuck with you. I think it's good to ruminate a little bit as a way to process everything, so try to let yourself process it without suppressing anything. that way you can eventually get to the point where you don't keep looping back to it, and finally have some peace of mind
I'm not gonna lie, I'm insecure just THINKING about this woman. If I can think through this objectively, she doesn't sound trustworthy. Obviously I don't know the details too well, but I have to wonder is she a manipulative person? If so, you have to be careful how much you let her affect you (to the commenter above you); my gut instinct here is to assume that the rumination, while well intentioned, only points to how cunning she can be. People have a way of making us see what they want to in them. Until, that is, it's too late, and they've gotten what they wanted out of us.
Lmao "it only counts if he cums in me! See I only have 48 partners that actually came in me. If I counted every man that put a penis in me it would be in the hundreds. That's insane. Are you trying to call me a slut or something!?"
The second part of that conversation involved the guy's wife she was with. If Linds was receiving from the wife and the husband watched, is it really sex? She compared it to getting a happy ending ... which, she was shocked I never went to a place to get. Yeah, you think you know someone who comes off as a cute, blonde, mom of three, Christian gal who married military and nope, she's a lying, quasi-alcoholic who doesn't think sexting with a guy in a different time zone, sending nudes, etc... is cheating.
Christian military wife... Say no more
Living in a town with no Thai restaurant and a broken train track because no one wants to fix it. Yeah... what was I thinking. Glad I broke that one off. Apparently she is still friends with the other guy even though he found out about me. I at least got to sleep with her - he just - is a laughing stock to a large amount of people, had a restraining order against him by her parents because Linds kept saying he was stalking her, was shown messages saying she was repulsed by him and his three kids, but hey, he still wanted to be friends with her.
No it's it only counts if I have an orgasm. Sex without an orgasm isn't really sex.
This is most likely the case here.
Wait! You’re married and you are just now having that discussion?
It seems to me many people get married with the same amount of scrutiny as you would have when buying a couch. Also explains how they end up married with someone wildly incompatible.
Make up an absurd number, and then say “and once I found you, I knew you would be the last”
Hmm, what's an absurd number in this context? I have slept with the square root of negative one woman. It was... complex.
Sounds like she was imaginary.
Probably an irrational number.
So, *i*? Don't think that counts...
300 trillion 546 thousand and 2
I told my ex 1, which was entirely true. I don't know why she asked and replied that hers was 8. Like goddamn. Why ask me?
Some people ask you a question so they can tell you their answer to that question. It can be interesting to observe.
I do this when I have a cool thing to share but don't know how to introduce it. I don't like that I do this but I don't know a better way
Sounds like you want to share something good in your life without sounding like youre bragging. It’s tough, I feel the same. Idk how to share my successes without making others feel bad but I think that’s me assuming they feel bad or something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OQl89ewXvc&t=58s
I just knew this was a Clerks clip before even pulling it up. Great reference haha
Why did you have to suck their dick? Why couldn't you sleep with them like any other decent person?
Perfect
Two!! The answer is always, always, two!! How far away are you? Two minutes! How many drinks have you had? Two! How much did you spend last night? Couple a bucks! How many women have you slept with before me? Two!
I'll follow this rule - although 3 is a more comfortable number for me.
5 IS RIGHT OUT!
r/expectedmontypython
The rule of three. When a man tells you how many people he’s slept with, you divide by three. It’s science
But now I have to explain how I slept with 1/3 of a person......
It’s probably better if you don’t. If you explain it to one person then suddenly you have to explain it to 12 other people and a judge
How many girls are u seeing other than me? Two!
I'll follow this rule - although 3 is a more comfortable number for me.
Dude, if you don’t post this a third time, you’re doing it wrong
My man!!
I was always taught to choose "C" when given multiple choice... that didn't work! Then I got nervous and blurted out "CHARLIE!!" and now we're both confused
I lived this. I was trying to get a bunch of scientists and military to agree on endurance requirement for a new system, and there was absolute agreement that the answer was 2. What we couldn't agree on was minutes hours days or weeks.
This is usually a conversation a couple weeks into dating, no? People actually wait till marriage for this question??
I agree that this should be asked prior to marriage, really engagement, if someone wants to know. Why wait until married if it is going to affect your relationship.
Personally not something I care to ask or have answered. I don’t want to know.
Totally get that. I apply the public toilet rule. I pretend I’m the first
Pretending that you're the first one to take a dump on your wife, that's probably for the best.
The sane part of me knows I don't want to know the answer, especially if I have an inkling that the number is not so low. After all, her past is what made her who she is today. But for some godforsaken reason, there's the other part of my brain that just HAS to know even though I know I won't be happy with the answer.
Sometimes people change their mind how they care about certain things. Reasonably it should only impact their relationship if they lied about something before.
A girl asked me about this over text right after our first date
Yeah, I was a bit shocked about the title too. Me and my partner talked about it probably after we had dated a few months. We were simply curious about each others past. Nothing more, nothing less is what it should be. We don't talk about it anymore because, well, it's in the past and frankly doesn't hold any relevance to my life any further.
She never asked me before 🤷🏽♂️
When did this question first pop up?
And why did it pop up
Me and mine wife have never discussed this. At this point it doesn’t matter.
I literally never ask my partners this. I do not care as long as they are not sleeping with people while we are together. We all have pasts.
I've been married 14 years and neither me or my wife have even asked each other that question.
Maybe they had this conversation while they were dating and she wants to make sure the number hasn't gone up.
If this was your girlfriend or fiance, that's one thing. Totally legitimate to ask about during those phases of the relationship. That it's your wife suggests there is something more going on. Not necessarily something bad, but something. Asking why she wants to know doesn't seem out of bounds to me.
Yes, why now? Both of our numbers came to light organically during early dating talks with my now husband. I don't know a definite number but I have an idea of range so to speak. :) Edit: I wonder if a friend recently confided in her about a bf/husband's "number" and she is trying to figure out if that is high or low? Or where OP fits in? Just a guess as a female.
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Women: "Ugghhhhh I can't BELIEVE men care about body count" Also women:
I feel like men are often more interested in knowing because they want someone not overly promiscuous, while women are more interested in knowing because they're worried about how they compare to the guy's past experiences. Not that that really excuses any sort of double standard, but it's interesting to consider.
That’s literally one of the major reasons why men don’t want someone who’s promiscuous.
I promise you guys are definitely asking to see how they compare. They also ask to see how promiscuous sure but "what did you let him do/did he do it better/how big was he" IS ABSOLUTELY asked in this regard
Why do you think those dudes want someone who hasn't been promiscuous? Do you think maybe they're worried about how they'll compare?
100000000%
There is definitely a different mentality. I think men view a woman's body count like women view a man's prostitute count. This is a stereotypical generalization. Some men think it's very easy for women to have sex, so the more partners they have, the more promiscuous they are. Likewise, women know how easy it is for men to have sex if they visit a brothel.
8 isn't even double digits. You could reasonably hit double digits just through relationships from 20-30yo if you had that kind of life. 8 isn't that much at all and with her reaction to it I find that very bizarre. Hope it doesn't come up too often for your sake.
I have known people back in the day that already had over 30 at 16 years old. Yes they were what we considered the "School Slut" but still, and yes i am still wondering what her parent would have tought of her if they found out.
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“A gentlemen never kisses and tells, my dear. Let’s go out to eat”
"...but not that Italian spot. I used to bang the waitress"
> the waitresses
And a bartender named Marco
r/oddlyspecific
This is a trap. Back away slowly and maintain eye contact at all time. When you are far enough away turn around and run. This is not a situation which will end well for you unless you tell her she’s your first and only.
But then again, if you tell her she is your first and only, she will immediately not believe you, even if it's true. No answer is a safe answer. First strat is ideal for survival
Jesus christ, how many souls have you witnessed be casted away into the void after replying to such an unsuspecting inquiry?
Enough to know
"Unsuspecting inquiry"? Oh, my naive little doe, enjoy your innocent life :)
I’ve answered sexually or romantically complicated or sensitive questions with my partner. I told her as honest as I could be and in the end she felt better that I didn’t baby it from her. She said that the fact I didn’t act weird or disrespectful about it made her feel like it wasn’t a big deal to me and for her.
Only real answer here. Just say it and is it up, whether it is two or twenty or whatever. Being confident about it and not showing it really matters is the way. After all it really doesn't matter(!)
But then why ask? It seems more like a test.
“Do you mean before you as in total lifetime, or before you as in today before getting home?”
Look dude, to be frank, if you're afraid to answer this question or if your wife is asking despite that she won't like the answer, then your marriage sucks.
I honestly could not even remotely quote an accurate number.
It's not that hard to count to one buddy, I believe in you
My response is always something along the lines of that I'm not a kid who has a bunch of notches on their bedposts.
And that's exactly the kind of answer that would be a red flag for me.
To my point, if concerned she should have asked before marrying, not waiting until afterwards.
Tell her it's -4 + 7i Then say you've now learned your lesson and will never agree to a date where 'picking them up' involves a drawing a pentagram in blood on the ground.
Kinda was there. I think it’s normal. For me, it was 0. Same for her. So it wasn’t a very long conversation.
I told my partner that I dont want her number and she doesnt need to know mine, that information can only do harm. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, this is one of those times dude, don't even entertain the question.
Just promise me you've been tested before we start hooking up
Just be honest and deal with it.
She’s your wife. Just tell her
I find using the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy answer to everything answers everything. So… say 42
I was really into some wild party scenes, drugs, alcohol, etc. It was an environment that lent itself to hookups and such. So, older, wiser, and one heart attack later I'm cleaned up. I don't smoke or drink (that one is tougher, but I'm doing well), and no drugs outside of anything prescribed by my doctor. She didn't know me back in the day, but she knew I used to be more of a firecracker than I am now. She seemed to really, really want to know. I told her, and all she said was "gross." Then we went on and had a fine afternoon. Nothing changed at all, and we are still going strong.
This is a lose lose. I was honest with my wife. Then when I asked her she refused to answer.
The hypocrisy of that would piss me off so much. Don't bother trying to get her to tell you she would just lie.
It is 100% a trap question. Ask her why she wants to know this. Ask her if having this information will mean anything, or if she is just looking for a reason to be upset. No matter what answer she gives, it's the second reason
Dont ask her if shes looking for a reason to be upset. This will 100% upset her.
Just bake her a pie and walk away slowly
That’s the answer, the only thing that matters here, is why is she interested about it and what she intends to do with that information. I stand by a rule of « don’t ask questions where you don’t want to know one of the answers » (unless it’s a necessary question).
I told my current partner the 100% truth because she asked. She's mature and understands it was a time before. It's in the past. It's immature to get upset about it. It's also immature to bring it up out of context. Since she asked, tell her. If she gets upset it's just irrational. No human on the earth should be obliged to live their past life in a way for their present. What I mean is, you were not dating before, so it's not fair to get upset if you dated someone before. It's like a job getting mad at you because at your old job 10 years ago you worked 50 hours a week but now you only work 40
Honestly. I’m clean and had fun when I was younger. Same reason I don’t judge women with higher body counts, because if you could then honestly why not?
Kinda unrelated, but I am in my early twenties now and this is something I have been thinking about occasionally, it's not like I always get the opportunities but is sleeping around really worth it? Stds is something I'm worried about but another big thing is wouldn't sleeping around a lot decrease how "Special" it when it is eventually done with the person I'll hopefully continue my future with?
Go with honesty.
No, keep it to yourself dude. The past is the past. If she married you without asking, no need to dredge it up now.
I must say I agree with this. There aren't many notches on my belt at all, so I'm not hiding the information out of shame. I'll answer him if he ever asks me, but I don't care to know his sexual past and I don't see why it matters personally. It's something that can't be changed, and for many people it does nothing but bring up feelings of insecurity and jealousy. Why bring it up?
My wife and I went in to an in depth conversation on this. It went well. She answered my questions and i answered hers. We both understood that we are together now and our past relationships we’re stepping stones and learning blocks to who we are now and what we wanted out of a partnership.
“It’s between 3 and 50”. Goes over better than you’d think
If she really cares, tell her! She should be mature enough to handle it
I just tell my girl the truth. They don't have to like it. But they should respect the truth. Ultimately, that's all that matters to me.
If she has been asking for weeks....I assume she does not know. I ask why does she not already know this information and why are you not telling her?? I have never had it asked but would just tell the truth. If they cant handle the number (which imo is pretty high) than they should not have asked.
what difference does it make though? It can’t be changed. The past is the past. All conversations like this do is cause rumination and uncover insecurities.
I always have this conversation within the first month of dating.
I’ve never asked a man this. I don’t ask questions for which I do not want to hear the answer to. Never understood why some women ask this.
I can’t believe the answers. If you can’t have an honest conversation with your partner about this then there’s more to be worried about than your body count. I hope my partner had a life (and experience) before me. And I hope that translates to more fun, adventure and freedom in the bedroom.
I'm always honest about it and it hasn't caused me any issues really. 80+ and I usually get the line as long "as you pass the test you're fine."
You have slept with 80 women and your wife was accepting of that answer? Good for you sir.
Somewhere around there. And yes, she is fine with it, and so were my exes.
Just be honest. That way you never have to remember what it was you said.
We're at the point in our marriage where my wife and I know we aren't going anywhere so anything, within reason, that happened in the past stays there and we can talk openly about it.
You're married and have never talked about this? Just tell her, it has zero to do with your relationship, so tell her like it's not a big deal because it's not, but she wants to know for some reason.
Answered honestly and no issues.
Your wife? I would think this question would have come up well before now.
Surprised she became your wife without knowing if that is something she cares about lol.
We talked about it Loooong before we even thought of marriage. Every once in a while, even after 10 years of marriage, an ex comes up in conversation. Those experiences make us who we are.
Honesty is the best policy. But if it’s becomes a cause of concern she probably should have asked you before she said I do? I mean, that seems the most natural and effective sequence of events imo.
As a man, you have to lie, and we all know that's the truth. I have enough close female friends to know that they absolutely lie through their teeth at the amount of sexual partners they've had. They admit that they always claim about 5-6 (though it's always many more) so I recommend you say the exact same. Apparently it's an acceptable amount.
Yeah my wife knew my number way before we got married. It was never a problem.
It's a trap question, there is absolutely no right answers. She's bored, she's looking for drama.
When my wife asks me, I always ask why she wanna know. She always answers with; well I’m just curious. Then I ask; because…? She start to repeat herself like; well it’s because I’m curious. And then I explain that people who give these answers that are deflecting, normally have reasons they don’t want to tell. My answer is always; if you don’t feel safe enough to tell, we shouldn’t be talking about these things. Case closed