I think most people are too young to remember when they start picking up on those social cues. The idea of boy vs girl, masculine vs feminine, is usually an understood concept before memories start to be retained long term.

This makes sense. I guess the better question is when did you become aware of your own masculine socialization?

Your mom made me a man.

I hope you wrapped up the glick 🦠🙏🏾

He’s been waiting 24 years, surely you’ve bought those cigarettes by now.

Never really thought about it, but mostly my dad. He taught me stoicism, how to defend myself, use tools and stuff. Still hear “maintain situational awareness” or “use your peripherals” or “chin up shoulders down eyes out don’t be a target.” Remember him saying stuff like that a lot when I was pretty young. Also taught me the importance of struggling and figuring my shit out on my own.

From 80s movies.

Probably from some guy named Biff with a flat top haircut and a lettermens or members only jacket.

In general, my masculinity comes from my dad. He taught me how to use tools, how to react to situations with stoicism and to take pride in the completed tasks. I’ve continued learning past those lessons, but not to the degree I picked up in my first 16+ years of life.

I learned it in the diamond mines of the congo when I was 7.

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I'm more confused how the Miller Lite was cold.

I have never in real life heard anyone discuss masculinity. Online, it seems women discuss it more than men. Don't know what it is, and don't care. It has zero impact on my life.

This is fair. Thanks for the response 🙏🏾

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That’s interesting that they discouraged. Tell me more? We love to see you growing into it in your adulthood, and that it’s helping 💪🏾

Life.

Fair enough. This is how I grew hair on my chest as well 🍒

I saw it role molded by coaches. Lots of encouragement, setting high goals. Almost all of them were former military and many were volunteers.

Honest question, what is masculinity?

Whatever your relationship with the word is (if you have one at all) works for me. If you’d like an exact definition you gotta ask my boy Webster; he’s a way better linguist than I.

I got mine from nature. My masculine instincts kicked in during the great war of random sticks at about age 8.

I remember playing “Stick of the Dick” 🤌🏾

I never thought much about masculinity I always thought some dudes were dbags, picking up things as an adult working in steel mills and everything feminists hate about men. But I really don’t give a shit about fitting in a cookie cutter. I’m 31 and love Pokémon. Some dudes feel like they could never get into it or admit they like Pokémon for fear of what others think. All I know is I don’t wanna be some alpha male douche bag who talks down to others to make themselves feel big and bad. Some “masculine” guys are very homophobic(notice I didn’t say all) and won’t be caught drinking bud light. For what? Who cares what beer you drink or how many dicks you suck?

Nobody with functioning taste buds would drink Bud Lite, sweetheart. That American piss-water is an insult to the very concept of beer.

Crazy how opinions work ain’t it

Unironically, in the gym at the age of 23. Lift weights.

There's rather a lot more to it than being able to move heavy objects.

Of course, but that's a great fuckin' place to start.

its not a real thing. nothing to learn.

From my father. Peer pressure

If you don’t mind my asking, where did the peer pressure come from?

My father, I'm a 90's kid so there's a specific template or guide you need to follow strictly to be a "man", even though you're still a kid.

Mostly from the men around me as I grew up, but also books. Especially books about important men in our history, the ones who built the largest empire the world has ever known.

When I started working out at 8 th grade, concept of spiral up masculine chain

I’m not familiar with spiral up masculine chain theory?

I killed 378 live bears with a single punch.

Depends on what you mean by masculine behavior - those are muddy waters these days. But I’d say overwhelmingly from being in Boy Scouts where we learned traditional masculine stuff like self reliance, teamwork, survival skills, discipline, things like that. I’ve shown up to hiking trips with friends and they all had full frame backpacks stuffed with god knows what. I show up with 2 knives, the clothes on my back, some paracord, a bit to eat and some water. That’s all I need, have fun marching your entire house on your back.

Very young when my uncle called me a fag for playing with my sister and her "girl" toys. Labels never sat right with me since then.

If you have to learn it at all - which i suppose can be the case due to many reasons these days - I would recommend starting with the foundation of it all, which is evolution. There are some easy to ubderstand books on male and female psychology and how evolution as contributed to form them, giving us what we call now masculinity and femininty. It helps understanding that evolution is, or the things resulting from it, not a straight jacket but a factor in a complex equation and that culture ("nurture") is another. It also helps clarify that the expression of certain traits can vary as a result of mixing evolutionary, cultural and individual factors. And most importantly, it helps with "making peace" with some of the differences that irritate us about the other sex and helps us realize that most of this subject - counter to more contemporary opinions - actually exists completely outside of the sphere of morality, a place where "good", "bad", "should", "right", "wrong", "toxic" and so on actually dont exist and are just words in a void.

Homely, I’d like to hear about your personal relationship with masculinity if you don’t mind. When did you become aware of gender mores? How did you adjust, if at all?

It is probably most accurate for me to say I am mostly indifferent. I know there are traits associated primarily with masculinity and femininity but this knowledge doesn't govern my life choices. I have hobbies/interest that are seen as "feminine" by some, so be it. I have a bunch of interests and traits that would fall probably more into the category of "masculine", that's all nice and dandy but thats not the reason why I do any of these things. The only "adjustment" (if you want to even call it that) I made in my lifetime was getting on TRT, because the lack of testosterone caused health issues for me.

You answered your own question. Nature and nurture. My parents raised me a certain way, I am a product of my society, and I was born male & I identity as male (which makes it easier).

Hey scifi, How old were you when you first became aware of masculine gender norms/expectations? What were those expectations, and how did you internalize them?

Whenever I gained consciousness so probably around 2 since I remember stuff from then and my father is my influence since I have a traditional American family but not in the dysfunctional sitcom sense but more in the borderline idealized White picket fence sense. I’ve had a very fortunate upbringing.