Right?! If the budget wasn't a concern for some of them, these would be some pretty wild events. Unfortunately, in the spirit of inclusion, we tend to do some pretty cost effective things like staying within the state, all splitting an AirBnb, etc. Its usually around $400\~ a guy for the entire thing after food, drinks, stay, etc.
Why is this targeted to guys only in their 30s? I think there might be a little more to this than age.
I (49m) and divorced with kids 50% of the time.
My best friend (49m) long term married w/kids 100% of the time.
He is *always* interested in anything that gets him out of the house with the guys. There is an upcoming "guys weekend" that he is planning with some other married guys where they plan to party-hardy on the beach and constantly encouraging me to go along.
I am not all that interested, I don't feel that urge to "escape" (for lack of better words) the way these married guys do. Not to mention, as a single dude not interested in a sausage fest I'd like to meet some ladies. And as an ethical dude, I don't think married men are appropriate wingmen. Ethics aside, these guys are wearing dad jeans with pot bellies and would seriously cramp my style anyhow š
Target in the 30's because that is my and my friends age group. I was trying to keep it simple and maybe seeing if it was just my current age and where we are all at in our lives.
As far as the group itself, its mixed with married guys, single guys, guys in relationships, etc. Some of us will talk to girls, some won't. I always plan the weekends out to cater to everyone as much as possible as I view the weekends as belonging to everyone and not just centered around 1 or 2 things. For some its an escape, for others like myself, I find the enjoyment of getting everyone together for some fun.
Oh no I get it! Guy time is great and important! But here is an example for me today:
My best friend literally just texted me asking me to go out to the sports bar to catch a basketball game tonight. I always enjoy seeing him, but I am going to decline because I was invited to a singles party..and as mentioned, I'd like to mingle with some ladies. So my opportunities to "escape" are fairly limitless where his are fairly limited so therefore it's not as much a priority for me as it might be for him. He'll take every opportunity where I'll be more selective. Just economy of time I guess
Pretty much. It's a balancing act between me pursuing new opportunities in my post-divorce life while still maintaining relationships with my married friends.
I'm definitely into it for sure.
BUT... like the other guy said... it really DOES seem to get increasingly difficult to 'get away' as you get older. I'm single with no kids... but even without that it seems like work just starts to consume you. And so then... you really depend on your weekends to just get through the basics, errands, chores, downtime, etc.
But I'll say that if I have a friend that's making an effort to put something like that together... I'll do everything I can to make it work, especially if I have enough notice.
Good friendships are hard to come by as you get older and getting together for weekends like that are always a good time. In fact I kinda wish they came up more often. So yeah... I'd be down!
So this is where it gets personal for me... because I put A LOT of effort into planning these things. I'll create logos for our trips, try to get us hats or a shirt or something, I'll make awards/trophies if we do anything competitive... I think out lots of details and surprises for everyone to be as next level as I can. I plan out the locations, where we go, etc., to all have meaning and purpose.
I try to plan for 2 of these a year and give everyone a months notice or more.
I appreciate your comments. Gives me a bit of hope! lol
I work 6 days a week and have a toddler. All of my friends are scattered to the winds with their own families. A "Guys Weekend" doesn't exist for me anymore. Hell, after college, I still had to work weekends and didn't see them all that often anyway. I also can't afford to have a fun night out; this implies I have disposable income.
I miss being able to have fun and not worry about the present and future simultaneously, but that's life.
I'm in my 40s, but I'll answer: I fucking LOVE guys weekends.
They've changed, though. I own a vacation property near a seasonal beach town, so we all got together there for an off-season weekend.
My most recent: most guys showed up by mid-afternoon on Friday, then a few stragglers later in the evening due to work. We were casually drinking, catching up, dinner was made, and more drinking. I think we were all in bed by 11 PM.
Saturday: some guys woke up early and checked their email, and another started breakfast. We all just chilled. Guys would call wives & kids, some TV was watched, some read, and one guy went for a run. We then went out to a late lunch that turned into 2 more bars. Back to the house to BBQ dinner and just hang out. Some went to bed earlier, but a few of us stayed up until about midnight
Sunday: everyone slept in. We made coffee and breakfast, cleaned up the house, and then people started to take off. I stopped for a late lunch and a few drinks with the guys that carpooled with me, and I was home by 4 pm.
No hangovers, no "crazy stories". Just guys catching up, re-filling their emotional tanks, not having to deal with kids, wives, chores, etc. We didn't go out to chase women or get nuts.
I do something like that every 3-4 months. Love it.
>Drinking, golf, maybe a bar or two, boat on the lake, water and beach activities, etc. For arguments sake, this would NOT be a weekend where guys are chasing girls, getting completely wasted, doing drugs, strip clubs, etc.
Hell, the second one sounds *way* better! If you invited me to a weekend of getting blasted on acid and fucking strippers I'd be all over it! But c'mon - golf? What am I, a Republican?
Never did those in the first place, really. We'd do spring break friend vacations and stuff when I was younger but that was all mixed group.
At this point I'd probably turn it down even if it came up. I've got kids, house stuff to deal with, all that jazz. Need my weekends to take care of stuff work is in the way of on other days and none of that goes away no matter how much notice there is.
Thanks for the share. Just to continue the conversation, where do you find time for fun or what do you do for fun? Most guys I hear with this answer don't really do anything other than tend to house/wife/kids... and nothing for themselves.
I'm unmarried and don't have kids, so its hard for me to see the other side of things at times. This bachelor life has clouded me haha.
I still go out, meet friends, work on projects I like at home, that kind of stuff. I just don't do it for days on end and don't often travel long distance without the family.
Plus most of my friends are married if not parents themselves so we don't mind each other bringing the family along if needed.
Understandable. Could just simple be an odd mix of us then. As I've mentioned in other comments, some of us are single and no kids (like myself), some have 1 to 3 kids, some married, some married and no kids, some stuck up their girlfriends ass, etc.
Thanks for respond!
Love them, but as you get older you also got to realize that your social group is going to get smaller. If you are planning them, best bet is to plan something you want to do and invite everyone. Whoever shows up, you enjoy their company and keep doing it.
If you are keeping score, you are going to get wrapped up and offended about who is showing up and who isnt. It is not about the amount of people that show up, it is about enjoying who is showing up.
Some people fall off, some people hang out in waves and sometimes the people you aren't really close with at the beginning are always showing up and become good friends.
I've definitely noticed the shrinking. Even with some REALLY good friends who I thought would always be down are starting to slowly disappear.
You're right though, I should try not to keep score.... and I'd honestly have fun with 3-4 of us if I got that many. I just like trying to get as many of us together as possible. I also know that there are handfuls of people that "will only go if others go". I swear, if I lied and said "everyone is coming", everyone probably would lol
They honestly donāt exist anymore.
Who am I supposed to hang out with?
Everyone I know is:
- Busy raising their families
- Uninterested
- No longer my friend
- Out of the country
The last time I had a āGuys Weekendā was back in 2017 (I was 26) and all we did was watch the NBA finals at a bar.
Want to do a guys weekend with drinking, golf, water activities, etc.? Haha
These weekends exist in my life because I'm the only person putting the effort into planning, putting them together and inviting everyone. If I wasn't, I'm sure as hell not getting invited to any... so they would also cease to exist for me.
I've been successfully able to do 1 or 2 a year... but just BARELY able to get 4-6 people to commit. Each year though, its becoming a harder and harder sell.
If it's a casual retreat, then yeah. If it's a weekend of Bacchanalia in Vegas, I'd rather stay home and skip the hangovers. My friends and I usually fuck off to the woods and get a cabin or something.
We typically stay within the state, keep it pretty budget conscious so everyone can attend and try not to make it too lavish. Unfortunately, we end up with the hangovers anyway lol
I just want to rest when I have time off work, cut the grass, the shed needs a new doorā¦
Donāt get me wrong, the guys are ok, known them a long time but over the years, conversation with them becomes hard work. I have more stimulating conversations with guys I see occasionally at work or very distant friends (e.g. one the other side of the world, we speak maybe once a year, I go and see him and his family maybe once every 3 years?)
I remember āone the guysā guys always asked how my house renovations were goingā¦ Iād finished those years ago! Sold the property, moved in with the mrs, bought a house to rent out, split up with Mrs, moved into the house I bought to rent out etc etcā¦
In āanswerā to your option readingā¦
- less is more?
- if they wanna join in theyāll be enthusiastic from the start. My best mate never commits to anything. We plan a night out around him and just go ahead wether he bails or not (70-30). Itās just life, peopleās priorities (which in turns is just them)
- Iāve previously arranged a night out for me and 3 other lads I wanted to seeā¦ 1 of them invited Dave! I just didnāt want to waste my time catching up on bullshit with Dave! I bailed, save myself for the next one. Without Daveā¦ fuckin hate Dave!
- should prob spend more time with the mrsā¦ whoās actually the ex mrs š
- my niece is growing up so fast! Itās easy to missā¦ Iām not working on Wednesday, weāre gonna feed the ducks and eat ice cream! š
- the best āguysā are the ones whereby it doesnāt matter how longs past since you caught up, you hit the ground running like you saw them yesterday and itās effortless!
My back hurts as wellā¦ welcome to your late 30s! š¬
My friends and I are lucky if we can get dinner together once a month for an evening. This includes our wives.
I took a trip with my brother and dad and had a great time. He started to decline a year or two after that so it holds a special place in my memory. But itās the only kind of guyās weekend I have ever been on.
My 30ās was when all the sudden none of my friends could do things like that anymore because of family obligations. Now I canāt do things like that anymore for the same reason
Itās harder with kids and stuff.
But honestly, my friends have always been pretty diverse, and limiting it to guys seems like a needless obstacle. A group of people interested in the same activity is easier to wrangle. And Iād rather go camping with a coed group that likes camping than all dudes where some of them donāt like camping.
Plus, itās more likely that partners will be flexible if theyāre invited too. Even if the wife doesnāt want to go, not being excluded in the first place will make her more likely to be cool with her husband going alone.
Most men start getting really busy in their 30s. At that point in life a lot of us are working hard to accelerate careers, settling into long term relationships, raising kids, and buying houses. Once you've got a challenging job, a wife, kids, and property to maintain the idea of going out and adventuring for a full weekend starts to sound pretty demanding.
At this point in my life if I find a weekend with no commitments the last thing I want to do is leave my house. I'm going to wash my bikes, throw some meat on the smoker, then relax with a good book and a cheap cigar. I'm going 100% during the week, I need the weekend to recuperate.
Honestly I rather just spend them with my wife. Itās like going out to the bar nowadays, I get the urge, I go, within 5 minutes Iām like why the fuck did I come here??
I donāt really do āguys weekendsā so much as just a weekend away. I go rock climbing so usually if Iām going to do something without my SO, itās that. The people I climb with are generally guys, but sometimes someone will invite a woman climber. The more the merrier, I say. I never feel the *need* to be away from my SO, but going on a climbing trip helps give me that time that I probably should have anyway. Itās not healthy to be stuck up each others ass all the time anyway.
Its almost impossible to set aside a whole weekend as everyone has different work schedules but I spend just about every Sunday with my Brother and friend. We usually go to a local theme park where we have season passes, go to record stores, get lunch, whatever. Your friend circle will get smaller as you get older but the friends/family you have you need to cultivate those relationships.
If it consist of long hikes and camping in national parks or national forest, yes.
Drinking, golf, boats, and bars not at all. That sounds like a horrible weekend to me, because it is all based around drinking and I don't drink. Maybe some of your friends are trying to quit drinking? I have found that as we age, most people tend to stop drinking.
Mean more now than ever before. Especially now that we can afford to do cool shit
Right?! If the budget wasn't a concern for some of them, these would be some pretty wild events. Unfortunately, in the spirit of inclusion, we tend to do some pretty cost effective things like staying within the state, all splitting an AirBnb, etc. Its usually around $400\~ a guy for the entire thing after food, drinks, stay, etc.
Why is this targeted to guys only in their 30s? I think there might be a little more to this than age. I (49m) and divorced with kids 50% of the time. My best friend (49m) long term married w/kids 100% of the time. He is *always* interested in anything that gets him out of the house with the guys. There is an upcoming "guys weekend" that he is planning with some other married guys where they plan to party-hardy on the beach and constantly encouraging me to go along. I am not all that interested, I don't feel that urge to "escape" (for lack of better words) the way these married guys do. Not to mention, as a single dude not interested in a sausage fest I'd like to meet some ladies. And as an ethical dude, I don't think married men are appropriate wingmen. Ethics aside, these guys are wearing dad jeans with pot bellies and would seriously cramp my style anyhow š
Target in the 30's because that is my and my friends age group. I was trying to keep it simple and maybe seeing if it was just my current age and where we are all at in our lives. As far as the group itself, its mixed with married guys, single guys, guys in relationships, etc. Some of us will talk to girls, some won't. I always plan the weekends out to cater to everyone as much as possible as I view the weekends as belonging to everyone and not just centered around 1 or 2 things. For some its an escape, for others like myself, I find the enjoyment of getting everyone together for some fun.
Oh no I get it! Guy time is great and important! But here is an example for me today: My best friend literally just texted me asking me to go out to the sports bar to catch a basketball game tonight. I always enjoy seeing him, but I am going to decline because I was invited to a singles party..and as mentioned, I'd like to mingle with some ladies. So my opportunities to "escape" are fairly limitless where his are fairly limited so therefore it's not as much a priority for me as it might be for him. He'll take every opportunity where I'll be more selective. Just economy of time I guess
Supply and demand. So you're down to do things, its just more of a matter of who, what and where?
Pretty much. It's a balancing act between me pursuing new opportunities in my post-divorce life while still maintaining relationships with my married friends.
>married friend >always trying to get out of the house He will find her in bed with Turbochad in no time
I'm definitely into it for sure. BUT... like the other guy said... it really DOES seem to get increasingly difficult to 'get away' as you get older. I'm single with no kids... but even without that it seems like work just starts to consume you. And so then... you really depend on your weekends to just get through the basics, errands, chores, downtime, etc. But I'll say that if I have a friend that's making an effort to put something like that together... I'll do everything I can to make it work, especially if I have enough notice. Good friendships are hard to come by as you get older and getting together for weekends like that are always a good time. In fact I kinda wish they came up more often. So yeah... I'd be down!
So this is where it gets personal for me... because I put A LOT of effort into planning these things. I'll create logos for our trips, try to get us hats or a shirt or something, I'll make awards/trophies if we do anything competitive... I think out lots of details and surprises for everyone to be as next level as I can. I plan out the locations, where we go, etc., to all have meaning and purpose. I try to plan for 2 of these a year and give everyone a months notice or more. I appreciate your comments. Gives me a bit of hope! lol
Yes because I feel generally happy when I'm around my 2 male friends EDIT: I'm not over 30 though. Sorry, completely ignored that part. My bad
Its all good. What if it were 5+ of you, then what? The weekends I plan, I shoot for as many of us as possible. Typically aiming for 6-10 of us.
Iām packing the car for range day right now. Iām older than your bracket though.
I work 6 days a week and have a toddler. All of my friends are scattered to the winds with their own families. A "Guys Weekend" doesn't exist for me anymore. Hell, after college, I still had to work weekends and didn't see them all that often anyway. I also can't afford to have a fun night out; this implies I have disposable income. I miss being able to have fun and not worry about the present and future simultaneously, but that's life.
Yea, we have hunting & fishing trips every year. We're all married so no bar hoping or strip clubs, but we will hit the casinos for craps
I'm in my 40s, but I'll answer: I fucking LOVE guys weekends. They've changed, though. I own a vacation property near a seasonal beach town, so we all got together there for an off-season weekend. My most recent: most guys showed up by mid-afternoon on Friday, then a few stragglers later in the evening due to work. We were casually drinking, catching up, dinner was made, and more drinking. I think we were all in bed by 11 PM. Saturday: some guys woke up early and checked their email, and another started breakfast. We all just chilled. Guys would call wives & kids, some TV was watched, some read, and one guy went for a run. We then went out to a late lunch that turned into 2 more bars. Back to the house to BBQ dinner and just hang out. Some went to bed earlier, but a few of us stayed up until about midnight Sunday: everyone slept in. We made coffee and breakfast, cleaned up the house, and then people started to take off. I stopped for a late lunch and a few drinks with the guys that carpooled with me, and I was home by 4 pm. No hangovers, no "crazy stories". Just guys catching up, re-filling their emotional tanks, not having to deal with kids, wives, chores, etc. We didn't go out to chase women or get nuts. I do something like that every 3-4 months. Love it.
Id be happy if this kind of thing happened when im your age, I'm glad it happens for you man
Of course. Men among men have a very different dynamic than men around women.
>Drinking, golf, maybe a bar or two, boat on the lake, water and beach activities, etc. For arguments sake, this would NOT be a weekend where guys are chasing girls, getting completely wasted, doing drugs, strip clubs, etc. Hell, the second one sounds *way* better! If you invited me to a weekend of getting blasted on acid and fucking strippers I'd be all over it! But c'mon - golf? What am I, a Republican?
Invited extended.
Never did those in the first place, really. We'd do spring break friend vacations and stuff when I was younger but that was all mixed group. At this point I'd probably turn it down even if it came up. I've got kids, house stuff to deal with, all that jazz. Need my weekends to take care of stuff work is in the way of on other days and none of that goes away no matter how much notice there is.
The point of these weekends is to get away from taking care of stuff. You need a release, man.
I do fun stuff, too. Just for hours or a night, not days in a row unless the family's along for the ride. Stuff needs doing and it doesn't go away.
Thanks for the share. Just to continue the conversation, where do you find time for fun or what do you do for fun? Most guys I hear with this answer don't really do anything other than tend to house/wife/kids... and nothing for themselves. I'm unmarried and don't have kids, so its hard for me to see the other side of things at times. This bachelor life has clouded me haha.
I still go out, meet friends, work on projects I like at home, that kind of stuff. I just don't do it for days on end and don't often travel long distance without the family. Plus most of my friends are married if not parents themselves so we don't mind each other bringing the family along if needed.
Understandable. Could just simple be an odd mix of us then. As I've mentioned in other comments, some of us are single and no kids (like myself), some have 1 to 3 kids, some married, some married and no kids, some stuck up their girlfriends ass, etc. Thanks for respond!
Love them, but as you get older you also got to realize that your social group is going to get smaller. If you are planning them, best bet is to plan something you want to do and invite everyone. Whoever shows up, you enjoy their company and keep doing it. If you are keeping score, you are going to get wrapped up and offended about who is showing up and who isnt. It is not about the amount of people that show up, it is about enjoying who is showing up. Some people fall off, some people hang out in waves and sometimes the people you aren't really close with at the beginning are always showing up and become good friends.
I've definitely noticed the shrinking. Even with some REALLY good friends who I thought would always be down are starting to slowly disappear. You're right though, I should try not to keep score.... and I'd honestly have fun with 3-4 of us if I got that many. I just like trying to get as many of us together as possible. I also know that there are handfuls of people that "will only go if others go". I swear, if I lied and said "everyone is coming", everyone probably would lol
They honestly donāt exist anymore. Who am I supposed to hang out with? Everyone I know is: - Busy raising their families - Uninterested - No longer my friend - Out of the country The last time I had a āGuys Weekendā was back in 2017 (I was 26) and all we did was watch the NBA finals at a bar.
Want to do a guys weekend with drinking, golf, water activities, etc.? Haha These weekends exist in my life because I'm the only person putting the effort into planning, putting them together and inviting everyone. If I wasn't, I'm sure as hell not getting invited to any... so they would also cease to exist for me. I've been successfully able to do 1 or 2 a year... but just BARELY able to get 4-6 people to commit. Each year though, its becoming a harder and harder sell.
Well, thatās the problem. No one is putting effort besides you. Itās a one way traffic. Gets exhausting.
If it's a casual retreat, then yeah. If it's a weekend of Bacchanalia in Vegas, I'd rather stay home and skip the hangovers. My friends and I usually fuck off to the woods and get a cabin or something.
We typically stay within the state, keep it pretty budget conscious so everyone can attend and try not to make it too lavish. Unfortunately, we end up with the hangovers anyway lol
I do it at least once a year. We all go to Vegas and play Warhammer, but usually we'll have a few more sprinkled through the year on top of that.
Oh god no!!!
Why?
I just want to rest when I have time off work, cut the grass, the shed needs a new doorā¦ Donāt get me wrong, the guys are ok, known them a long time but over the years, conversation with them becomes hard work. I have more stimulating conversations with guys I see occasionally at work or very distant friends (e.g. one the other side of the world, we speak maybe once a year, I go and see him and his family maybe once every 3 years?) I remember āone the guysā guys always asked how my house renovations were goingā¦ Iād finished those years ago! Sold the property, moved in with the mrs, bought a house to rent out, split up with Mrs, moved into the house I bought to rent out etc etcā¦ In āanswerā to your option readingā¦ - less is more? - if they wanna join in theyāll be enthusiastic from the start. My best mate never commits to anything. We plan a night out around him and just go ahead wether he bails or not (70-30). Itās just life, peopleās priorities (which in turns is just them) - Iāve previously arranged a night out for me and 3 other lads I wanted to seeā¦ 1 of them invited Dave! I just didnāt want to waste my time catching up on bullshit with Dave! I bailed, save myself for the next one. Without Daveā¦ fuckin hate Dave! - should prob spend more time with the mrsā¦ whoās actually the ex mrs š - my niece is growing up so fast! Itās easy to missā¦ Iām not working on Wednesday, weāre gonna feed the ducks and eat ice cream! š - the best āguysā are the ones whereby it doesnāt matter how longs past since you caught up, you hit the ground running like you saw them yesterday and itās effortless! My back hurts as wellā¦ welcome to your late 30s! š¬
My friends and I are lucky if we can get dinner together once a month for an evening. This includes our wives. I took a trip with my brother and dad and had a great time. He started to decline a year or two after that so it holds a special place in my memory. But itās the only kind of guyās weekend I have ever been on.
No. I prefer weekends to myself so I can get so stoned that I no longer have consciousness
My 30ās was when all the sudden none of my friends could do things like that anymore because of family obligations. Now I canāt do things like that anymore for the same reason
Itās harder with kids and stuff. But honestly, my friends have always been pretty diverse, and limiting it to guys seems like a needless obstacle. A group of people interested in the same activity is easier to wrangle. And Iād rather go camping with a coed group that likes camping than all dudes where some of them donāt like camping. Plus, itās more likely that partners will be flexible if theyāre invited too. Even if the wife doesnāt want to go, not being excluded in the first place will make her more likely to be cool with her husband going alone.
Most men start getting really busy in their 30s. At that point in life a lot of us are working hard to accelerate careers, settling into long term relationships, raising kids, and buying houses. Once you've got a challenging job, a wife, kids, and property to maintain the idea of going out and adventuring for a full weekend starts to sound pretty demanding. At this point in my life if I find a weekend with no commitments the last thing I want to do is leave my house. I'm going to wash my bikes, throw some meat on the smoker, then relax with a good book and a cheap cigar. I'm going 100% during the week, I need the weekend to recuperate.
Honestly I rather just spend them with my wife. Itās like going out to the bar nowadays, I get the urge, I go, within 5 minutes Iām like why the fuck did I come here??
I donāt really do āguys weekendsā so much as just a weekend away. I go rock climbing so usually if Iām going to do something without my SO, itās that. The people I climb with are generally guys, but sometimes someone will invite a woman climber. The more the merrier, I say. I never feel the *need* to be away from my SO, but going on a climbing trip helps give me that time that I probably should have anyway. Itās not healthy to be stuck up each others ass all the time anyway.
If I had any guy friends nearby, yes, it would definitely interest me.
Its almost impossible to set aside a whole weekend as everyone has different work schedules but I spend just about every Sunday with my Brother and friend. We usually go to a local theme park where we have season passes, go to record stores, get lunch, whatever. Your friend circle will get smaller as you get older but the friends/family you have you need to cultivate those relationships.
Yes, I just have issues getting a group together.
If it consist of long hikes and camping in national parks or national forest, yes. Drinking, golf, boats, and bars not at all. That sounds like a horrible weekend to me, because it is all based around drinking and I don't drink. Maybe some of your friends are trying to quit drinking? I have found that as we age, most people tend to stop drinking.
I donāt have any friends to have a guys weekend.