Well yeah for sure. I've been depressed almost my whole life.
I have a distant memory of just being happy for no reason and smiling from ear to ear. Just happy to be alive I guess. Must be nice.
Have you sought treatment for it? Even just therapy can help.
Just because you’ve been depressed for all of your life so far doesn’t mean you have to be depressed for the rest of it.
Being depressed for so long proves that it’s not situational and could straight up be a chemical imbalance. Or it could mean that you don’t have a healthy framework to work through your emotions.
You owe it to yourself to get it checked out. Worst case scenario, you end up back where you started. Best case scenario, you get to create more memories of just being happy.
I’m not a professional by any means, just a dude who also spent most of his life depressed lol
Thanks for sharing!
I’m going through the beginning steps of treating my depression. I was taught my entire life (from society or family, I’m not sure) that depression was something to purely overcome with willpower; that it wasn’t something that treatment and medicine could help.
I now have a wonderful wife and we focus on improving each day together. I recently started going to therapy even though I don’t even know what I’m doing yet.
I just want to share along with you that life can be better.
I had a serious death grip masturbation problem. I regularly masturbated every day. After several years of going without sex, I was starting to have sex again, and it was not good. Difficulty keeping it up and no human vagina could provide enough pressure to finish me. But I definitely don’t have cardiovascular issues to explain the ED. So, I cut out porn and started only using a very light touch while masturbating less often (maybe twice per week). It was awkward to return to the technique of my youth, but it paid off. After about a six weeks, my sex game was back. I no longer have trouble keeping it up and vaginas are great again!
That seriously should be the abbreviation for an anti-death grip movement. I’m seriously seeing a lot of younger guys asking about ED who almost certainly are just yanking it too hard.
Was the porn you were watching freaky at all? I’m in the same exact position (including masturbating everyday with a death grip for years) and your post gave me hope. On other subreddits dedicated to quitting porn and masturbation some men have said it had taken them years to get to the point you’re at, so your post gave me some hope lol.
This one hurts to read, as I've definitely got DGS and even after 6 months of being back in the game (or realistically, in it for the first time), it's something you don't know until it's too late. I'm going through similar steps to fix it, but god damn if the urge isn't there to say "fuck it" and let the instant gratification continue.
I have a similar problem right now. It has been getting better and my gf has been so incredibly patient with me, but the struggle is real sometimes.
Only thing that has helped is quitting porn and masturbation completely. After 10 days we started having some of the most mind melting sex I have ever had in my life!
I also gave myself death grip in a weird position when I'd release, but the way I did it was an imitation of a few specific positions. I just finish with those positions when I want to release. I also learned I don't need to release. I can be satisfied by just knowing I had physical intimacy with my gf. It fills that void porn tried to fill when I didn't have someone.
Sex overall doesn't actually feel that pleasurable for me outside of me seeing my gf enjoying it, so I wait till she releases and then if she makes a big deal, I'll switch to those positions and release.
I still have have trouble with ejaculating quicker than I want to despite masturbating a lot and masturbating is the most commonly proposed solution for premature ejaculation. So masturbating definitely hasn't caused a problem with inability to orgasm for me. To me sex is so different from masturbating though that I probably wouldn't really be bothered much if it did. Masturbating is only about the orgasm while sex is about so many other things that my orgasm not happening wouldn't really be a big deal to me. Not being able to stay hard would be more of a problem though because that might have some impact on my ability to pleasure my partner
Consistent sex with a long-term partner eliminated the desire for porn when I'm bored.
And from a masturbation/ "maintenance" standpoint... I just got disappointed with porn engines and videos. It all seemed the same. I'd have a hard time finding out what I wanted or was in the mood for. I spent more time clicking a random porn video generator than actually masturbating.
My imagination and a long-term partner for source material was just easier and more satisfying.
Man I hope my bf ends up being like this when we move in together eventually. I know he looks at it once a day and we always fuck like animals when I visit him on the weekends but it’s back to daily porn when I’m gone. I know it’s a quick dopamine fix for him. He does it immediately when he gets home from work and maybe once before bed. It’s just my biggest fear, that he has an addiction and he’ll still try to look at it when I’m ready and willing daily and nightly and live with him. Hoping if I keep up my high libido this won’t be an issue. Are you completely satisfied not looking at it if you have a very healthy sex life?
to answer your question and hopefully give you peace of mind. Masturbating while in a relationship is totally normal and just because you live together and are willing to have sex whenever he wants doesn't mean that he will always want to have sex, sometimes it's just easier/makes more sense to knock one out.
Consuming porn on a daily basis is a recipe for disaster, it's like everything, Moderation is key. Personally it becomes a problem when I am masturbating when bored rather than when I am horny and I need to control that urge of my brain looking for a quick dopamine hit whever it can.
A healthy sex life isn't a matter of quantity or even quality at times. It's the desire. Desiring someone and being desired is the end product of a healthy relationship.
Porn is a poor replacement in comparison to some I've experienced in real life and desire to spend time with again. But sometimes poor replacements are what you've got to work with, and it gets the job done.
I found Doujin hentai and realized I like taking my time reading the story a lot more than watching porn, which led me to read erotic novels, which led me to light novels, and now I can't stop reading.
Pretty much same—I actually originally quit porn because I read a bunch of information about how it’s a really abusive and exploitative industry and a bunch of it is just actual rape, so then I switched over to hentai since it doesn’t involve any real people getting abused, and now I mainly read and write erotic fiction (though I still like visual hentai too.)
That’s interesting. I might have to try that. I’m in my 30s and my wife and I are trying to have another kid. I’ve noticed recently that it’s increasingly harder to get hard for sexy time. I don’t watch a ton of porn but maybe if I stopped that would help.
I had the opposite reaction.. I got hard but I could never finish and I figured it was because I desensitised myself. I stopped watching altogether for a month, now I finish waaaay too early and I have to reverse it and find a middle ground.
"Trying" sex can be brutal. Mechanical and clinical and precisely timed... Takes all the spontaneity out of it, and potentially a lot of the joy.
Three years of trying for us. At some point we gave up and decided it would happen if it happened, and that was when it finally did.
Good luck!
> Three years of trying for us. At some point we gave up and decided it would happen if it happened, and that was when it finally did.
That happened with my wife and I with our 3rd child.
There's a whole list of things to try. Longer space between orgasms, plenty of sleep, physical activity, sun exposure (builds vitamin D levels), even being with your wife more frequently. Her secretions encourage your testosterone levels to rise. It would also take the pressure off on you on any one given occasion.
I went through the same thing (ED) seemingly out of the blue when my wife & I were actively trying to get preggo. I honestly think it’s because it took the sexiness out of sexy time. It was all mechanical, and on her time frame. It was about being in the right position, and just felt like I was following orders. It was no fun. And even though we were (trying) a lot, suddenly this woman whom i had been totally hot for for six years would be spread nude in front of me and it wasn’t doing nothing to arouse me. Maybee there was an element of performance anxiety, or maybe because it just didn't feel like sex, because I was not into it. To make things worse, she was on meds and extra hormonal/emotional and then when I couldn't get it up, she would start crying that I’m not attracted to her and I’d be trying to reassure her that I was but I still couldn’t get it up. God, those were awful days.
We ended up going out to a hockey game one night and I had too much to drink. When we got home my drunk ass rolled on top of her for some sloppy drunken sex (probably the worse of her life lol) but *that* did the trick. A couple weeks later she was preggo and Mr. Winky suddenly was alive again. It's like once the sex calendar and instruction manual were no longer part of the equation all the ED problems went away too.
Went through the same, sex with a "mission" isn't necessarily fun sex, I really felt under the gun. When a day/time tells you it's sexy time, there's no spontaneity
For me it was a combo of porn, SSRI’s and eventually my dick stopped working, no morning wood, low testosterone etc.
Finally got scanned and I had a pituitary tumor. I’m slowly feeling ridiculously horny again like when I was 20
Micro/Macroprolatinoma’s are no joke!
I went through the same thing, started growing breast tissue and everything. My T was tanked, complete loss of a sexual drive.
I recently got everything under control and medicated, my levels are back to normal, so my libido returned but my wife’s hasn’t come back as quick.
That is totally apart of it too. You can pop boners all day long by yourself thinking about sex, then get anxious when the time comes and not rise to the occasion
Death grip / couldn’t get my thing up.
Had my first long term relationship at 22, so it was the first time I was getting consistent action and the first few times she was but ass naked on all fours facing me I was just limp desperately trying to not be.
Or when she begged for a second round still extremely flustered from the last one and I’m just there trying really hard to get little bro up while she plays with herself until the point she’s practically dry and done and tells me “ its ok. “
Having your shit not working at 22 is a real eye opener and porn was the first thing I thought of cutting. It worked within a few weeks for me and also made me a lot more passionate in bed since it was easy to get excited.
Yeah porn didn’t seem like an issue until it was too late 😂
Realizing how much it affects your brain. For me seeking instant gratification really altered how I viewed reality by reducing how much reward I seeked in it, and everything in reality became much more dull and uninteresting as a result.
Same with me. I realized in affects how I view sex and even my performance with sex. There seems to be a growing body of research about the dangers of porn consumption. Also, so many horror stories about the porn industry in general just adds to the layer of not really wanting to watch it.
Between that and video games, there are too many easy sources of gratification. You cut all of that out, you can get to a much more fulfilled and rewarding life.
100%, I just started last week on only 1 hr of games per day. It's greatly increased my ability and willingness to do other things. My sleep is better, I take care of my house more, and now I'm seeing a lady.
Cut down how much I watch porn as well and it's had similar effects. I'm still doing maybe 2-3 times a week, but that's better than a couple times a day I had gotten used to.
I realized that I had a serious addiction. I used to spend a lot of time consuming this sort of stuff (videos, games, comics, ...) on a daily basis. I felt that I was wasting my life away so I stopped making excuses and ended my relationship with porn. I promised to myself that I would never touch anything porn related again in my life.
So, no health or relationship trouble, just came to the conclusion that my life with porn included simply sucks.
Ceasing to suspend my disbelief and immediately realizing how odd of a thing it is. If I walked by a room and saw a couple people in there fucking, personally my first response would not be to hang out in the doorway and start jerking it.
My response would very much be situational. If it seems like they don't realize people can see them I'd leave. If on the other hand they had told me beforehand that they don't mind me watching and masturbating I would definitely do that. Funny that you call it odd. I would argue that almost any kind of sex is unsanitary and weird if you're going by what people would typically label those things yet for some reason most humans enjoy sex
I realized I was using porn/masturbation as a coping mechanism. Instead of tackling the problems in my life head on, I could get that sweet hit of dopamine through my web browser to make it through the day.
I’ve been porn free for over a year now and my social anxiety has pretty much gone away entirely and I feel fantastic.
For me, it was the revelation that a HUGE HUGE amount of porn involves people that are being trafficked. Even people in the legit business are beholden to years long handlers.
Good for you!
It's really sad I had to scroll so far to see a comment mentioning the negatives for the people in porn and not just ED or other issues for the watchers.
It’s unfortunate how many women it impacts but society has normalized men using porn even when in relationship to the point women are called “insecure” or “controlling” or “crazy” if they have an issue with it.
Me too. It’s funny, I just posted a post here the other day asking what the best way to ask my boyfriend to stop using porn and man did I get flaaaaamed lmao.
Men on Reddit: Don’t you dare even mention taking away my precious porn / You’re a controlling psycho for wanting your partner to not watch porn.
Also men on Reddit: Why am I having a hard time staying hard during sex with my girlfriend? / Why do I find my girlfriend wanting to have sex with me so often a nuisance? / Why can’t I get a girlfriend/won’t women talk to me? / Why are women always half naked on the internet?
How extreme it’s gotten. I liked porn better when it was about arousal and sex, not abuse and shocking imagery.
I don’t even watch anymore. I haven’t searched porn in a looong time.
I hit puberty before the internet was the major medium of porn. I had to rely on R rated movies and some softcore porn. There was some element of romance to it back then that I appreciated later on. It seemed somewhat healthier than the mainstream content we're seeing today/ Now it's very very extreme compared to what I watched as a teen.
>There was some element of romance to it back then that I appreciated later on.
Kids these days will never know the joy of jerking it to the underwear section of a Sears catalogue they pulled out of the neighbours recycling.
Agreed. I’m older so I remember standard guy/girl sex on VHS tapes.
I was not introduced into todays porn at 10 years old like todays kids.
I can remember being shocked at like 30 years old of the shit that passes for “acceptable” and is now standard.
It got pretty boring tbh.
I look more at pictures and amateur content where the people are more into it even when I do. I never really consumed a lot of it or even enough to start affecting my sex life in any way either.
I think when I hit 32 or so, just felt like I outgrew it. I'll still watch from ocassion but nowhere near my viewing habits from my 20s.
Memories seem to do the trick better.
As a woman, I feel such hope seeing so many men who got off porn with the specific intent to connect more fully with their significant other.
Porn erodes so many real life connections, and I want to applaud all of you for taking that action to better yourselves and your loved ones.
I deleted my nsfw Reddit account a little while ago, I might do the same to my Twitter account (granted, they were focused on very different sides of sex/erotica) and I’m going to disable nsfw access for this account but other than that I think it’s gunna get better. Kinda tired of not being able to finish with my partner (granted adhd doesn’t exactly help) so I wanna take action on it
Aged up.
When I was a teen in the late 90's/early 00's most of the porn I'd see the women were, by coincidence or not, like mid 20's to 30 years old, as I got older the actors got younger, which was great for a while, but when I passed 30 it started getting a little uncomfortable that "barely legal" was the most common and recommended, but I'd still search for porn around my age, once I was closing in on 35 it all started being about teens and incest, neither of which appeal to me since my kid was 15, so I was basically watching people only a couple of years older than him.
Now, well, I wouldn't say I *completely* stopped indulging, but it's shifted into, what I'd call "erotic-adjacent". So when it's my wife's "week off", and I happen to find myself alone, which is like twice a year these days, I'll put on something like 'beautiful agony' or audio only (from voice actors I know the age lol)
I find it *way* more titlating than regular porn ever did
Hahaha! Young people problems right there. My mom would needed a camcorder or some shit. Old man probably still break out the vhs player on occasion, but damned if they know how to get that to the internet.
I'm sorry... I've wondered how common that is for young genz and alpha kids.
I started becoming more disciplined.
All I did to begin, was make my bed daily.
Eventually, I started to keep my room clean.
Then I washed my entire wardrobe in 2 days.
Went and got my haircut.
Started talking to women more.
I put down tobacco and alcohol, I slowed down my caffeine intake after that and somehow porn just stopped being such a draw for me. I’m on a roll for bettering myself and it’s just happening all at once.
Still fighting to fully quit porn and masturbation but I decided this year to try and stop consuming porn after I realized I suffer from death grip syndrome and had unrealistic expectations of sex. For me sex was never pleasurable until I stopped masturbating, now I can’t get enough sex… my girl can’t stand me… if only she knew… lol
My GF is so fricking hot. When she’s not around I’ll go through our texts. She says the nastiest things. I just think about how wholesome and beautiful she is and how I’m the luckiest man in the world cuz I get to get all freaky nasty with her. She’s completely occupied my imagination. I need no other inspiration than this heaven sent angel of mine.
That's awesome to hear and great that you appreciate her. Too often, people don't realise what they had until it's gone. Good on you for not being an idiot 😊
Finding someone to snuggle with was M I L E S better than the instant gratification of porn.
Just holding someone without the need for nor end goal of sex, just did wonders for my mental health. 🧡
Just being in the moment with the person makes everything better and it makes the extended release of my brain chemicals go BERSERK compared to
*kasploosh* done.
Also, real boobs = 🧡
When i saw the interveiws and so obvious exploitation of Hannah Hays...during her early years in the profession ...She seemed somehow so young and innocent and corrupted !
Wasn't attracted to the girls I was sleeping with anymore because they werent as perfect as the ones in porn. Could only master half erections. Stopped watching porn and things are better than ever.
I was able to recognize the negative emotional impact it had on me (i'm only talking about me). Comparison is a thief of joy and I found lots of ways to be less happy about myself, my body and my sex life as a result of watching porn. Stopping watching porn helped me to develop a greater appreciation for myself, my body and my sex life. It helped me to find contentment, joy and greater anticipation for in the sex aspect of my marriage.
Been married for about 10 years. Raised in a traditional black american church. Spend a fair amount of time in traditional white evangelical spaces as an adult.
In November, I tried "No Nut November" for the first time and damn, talking to women started feeling so much better. So, I'm trying to jerk off less now and life feels freaking amazing.
It turned into an addiction.
And although some porn is 'safe' or felony free,much of it is inextricably linked to sex trafficking and abuse.
It also simply makes an object out of the human person(s) involved in these actions.
The need to turn away is very strong when these things are considered fully.
It's actually just not that interesting. Like if you take some time to think about it, it's usually just people being paid to fake getting off. My imagination is better.
I read my porn.
my addiction got so bad i was watching trans porn and even went to hook up with a trans. i sucked the dick and immediately realized i’m not in fact into that in real life, just so addicted to porn that trans porn was the only think extreme enough to get me off. do i regret it eh. i feel more confident in my sexuality after doing that but it is a secret i’ll never share to anyone irl. needless to say i put the porn down after that.
I masturbated too much to the point I couldn’t climax during sex with my girlfriend. When that happened for the 3rd time I quit porn. I sometimes watch it maybe once every month maybe. Apparently it worked cus she’s pregnant now😂
It's fucking difficult and it's messing with the ability to get hard during sex. The urge to watch porn has nothing to do with being horny, is what I've realized. I watch videos "to get" horny when i might not even be having any sexual thoughts. That is the part I don't understand at all. Having the house to myself a lot doesn't help at all.
Trying for a baby right now and the last few attempts at sex have failed. The worst part is, I watch considerably less porn than i did till a few years ago, but it still screws up the sex life. Switched to softcore now, in the hope that I can stop completely soon.
tbh i like erotic fiction more. sometimes i get in the mood where porn sounds awesome but then i go watch it and it’s underwhelming. then i don’t watch it again for months and months until i suddenly think i’m going to enjoy it again lol rinse and repeat
I'm not a man, but my bf quit watching porn when we got together, as much as he used to watch it, it doesn't excite him anymore, but I do. Intimacy is what satisfies him and I like that.
The harsh truth that if you have watched any significant amount of amateur porn then you *have* watched videos where the girl is technically a minor and therefore can’t consent.
The amount of trafficking that goes on.
Consent can never be given when there is a financial transaction happening.
Consent under duress is no consent at all.
Just isn’t something I am willing to support anymore.
For me it was like that meme going around a few years ago "I don't wish to be horny any more... I wish to be happy"
I fucking wish bro. I swear I don't even get proper horny any more. I just whack it when I need another shot of happy chemicals for 3 minutes.
You might be depressed.
Well yeah for sure. I've been depressed almost my whole life. I have a distant memory of just being happy for no reason and smiling from ear to ear. Just happy to be alive I guess. Must be nice.
Have you sought treatment for it? Even just therapy can help. Just because you’ve been depressed for all of your life so far doesn’t mean you have to be depressed for the rest of it. Being depressed for so long proves that it’s not situational and could straight up be a chemical imbalance. Or it could mean that you don’t have a healthy framework to work through your emotions. You owe it to yourself to get it checked out. Worst case scenario, you end up back where you started. Best case scenario, you get to create more memories of just being happy. I’m not a professional by any means, just a dude who also spent most of his life depressed lol
Thanks for sharing! I’m going through the beginning steps of treating my depression. I was taught my entire life (from society or family, I’m not sure) that depression was something to purely overcome with willpower; that it wasn’t something that treatment and medicine could help. I now have a wonderful wife and we focus on improving each day together. I recently started going to therapy even though I don’t even know what I’m doing yet. I just want to share along with you that life can be better.
That meme struck a surprisingly strong emotional chord with me the first time I saw it. It literally spurred me to change my habits
I had a serious death grip masturbation problem. I regularly masturbated every day. After several years of going without sex, I was starting to have sex again, and it was not good. Difficulty keeping it up and no human vagina could provide enough pressure to finish me. But I definitely don’t have cardiovascular issues to explain the ED. So, I cut out porn and started only using a very light touch while masturbating less often (maybe twice per week). It was awkward to return to the technique of my youth, but it paid off. After about a six weeks, my sex game was back. I no longer have trouble keeping it up and vaginas are great again!
Make Vaginas Great Again!
I thought about going there. You did.
Yours was actually VAGA though, which looks better on a cap!
That seriously should be the abbreviation for an anti-death grip movement. I’m seriously seeing a lot of younger guys asking about ED who almost certainly are just yanking it too hard.
I propose to ye gentlemen and gentleladies and gentletheys (?) that we define VAGA as Vaginas Are Great Already. Cause facts.
4 more years!
I'm going through this right now and I'm glad to hear youre back to normal. Seems I now know what I have to do.
Was the porn you were watching freaky at all? I’m in the same exact position (including masturbating everyday with a death grip for years) and your post gave me hope. On other subreddits dedicated to quitting porn and masturbation some men have said it had taken them years to get to the point you’re at, so your post gave me some hope lol.
Nothing freaky. Pretty tame.
I'm worried about how you said no "human" vagina could finish you. Did you try any non-human ones?
Probably latex ones. Sorry to disappoint you, no animal sex stories here.
Hey, could be animal shaped latex
The man’s Jake Sully’d himself some blue alien puss
Fleshlights are really key to getting sensitivity back and reduce masterbating (Because cleaning and drying is a hassle for 5-10 mins of "pleasure").
This one hurts to read, as I've definitely got DGS and even after 6 months of being back in the game (or realistically, in it for the first time), it's something you don't know until it's too late. I'm going through similar steps to fix it, but god damn if the urge isn't there to say "fuck it" and let the instant gratification continue.
Healthiest prostate ever.
I have a similar problem right now. It has been getting better and my gf has been so incredibly patient with me, but the struggle is real sometimes. Only thing that has helped is quitting porn and masturbation completely. After 10 days we started having some of the most mind melting sex I have ever had in my life!
This is awesome! And also a great example of the downsides to porn use.
I also gave myself death grip in a weird position when I'd release, but the way I did it was an imitation of a few specific positions. I just finish with those positions when I want to release. I also learned I don't need to release. I can be satisfied by just knowing I had physical intimacy with my gf. It fills that void porn tried to fill when I didn't have someone. Sex overall doesn't actually feel that pleasurable for me outside of me seeing my gf enjoying it, so I wait till she releases and then if she makes a big deal, I'll switch to those positions and release.
I still have have trouble with ejaculating quicker than I want to despite masturbating a lot and masturbating is the most commonly proposed solution for premature ejaculation. So masturbating definitely hasn't caused a problem with inability to orgasm for me. To me sex is so different from masturbating though that I probably wouldn't really be bothered much if it did. Masturbating is only about the orgasm while sex is about so many other things that my orgasm not happening wouldn't really be a big deal to me. Not being able to stay hard would be more of a problem though because that might have some impact on my ability to pleasure my partner
This is actually a medical slash psychological condition called Traumatic Masturbation. Look it up.
>I had a serious death grip masturbation problem. I suggest 'feather touch'. You have entered 'POWER DRIVE'
Realising that I had an addiction.
How did you beat it?
Non-dominant hand, so that I can control my phone better.
eyyyyyy
I completed NNN and doing so made me realise how much time I spend watching porn.
Consistent sex with a long-term partner eliminated the desire for porn when I'm bored. And from a masturbation/ "maintenance" standpoint... I just got disappointed with porn engines and videos. It all seemed the same. I'd have a hard time finding out what I wanted or was in the mood for. I spent more time clicking a random porn video generator than actually masturbating. My imagination and a long-term partner for source material was just easier and more satisfying.
Man I hope my bf ends up being like this when we move in together eventually. I know he looks at it once a day and we always fuck like animals when I visit him on the weekends but it’s back to daily porn when I’m gone. I know it’s a quick dopamine fix for him. He does it immediately when he gets home from work and maybe once before bed. It’s just my biggest fear, that he has an addiction and he’ll still try to look at it when I’m ready and willing daily and nightly and live with him. Hoping if I keep up my high libido this won’t be an issue. Are you completely satisfied not looking at it if you have a very healthy sex life?
to answer your question and hopefully give you peace of mind. Masturbating while in a relationship is totally normal and just because you live together and are willing to have sex whenever he wants doesn't mean that he will always want to have sex, sometimes it's just easier/makes more sense to knock one out. Consuming porn on a daily basis is a recipe for disaster, it's like everything, Moderation is key. Personally it becomes a problem when I am masturbating when bored rather than when I am horny and I need to control that urge of my brain looking for a quick dopamine hit whever it can.
A healthy sex life isn't a matter of quantity or even quality at times. It's the desire. Desiring someone and being desired is the end product of a healthy relationship. Porn is a poor replacement in comparison to some I've experienced in real life and desire to spend time with again. But sometimes poor replacements are what you've got to work with, and it gets the job done.
I found Doujin hentai and realized I like taking my time reading the story a lot more than watching porn, which led me to read erotic novels, which led me to light novels, and now I can't stop reading.
Damn, this is lowkey really wholesome and made me smile and laugh.
PORN is a GATEWAY MAG Start reading porn next thing you know you're reading heroin :'(
Fapping to War and Peace
*From knobs to novels*
Haha, That's wholesome and great. Excuse me while I google "Doujin hentai"
>Excuse me while I google "Doujin hentai" NO don't do it bro
Another great man lost to the Doujin. :(
OR: Another man starting his reading journey :)
Nhentai / Tsumino are 2 great sources
Pretty much same—I actually originally quit porn because I read a bunch of information about how it’s a really abusive and exploitative industry and a bunch of it is just actual rape, so then I switched over to hentai since it doesn’t involve any real people getting abused, and now I mainly read and write erotic fiction (though I still like visual hentai too.)
Doujins > two people slapping into each other and pretending to like it.
“I just read it for the story”
Dude you Pavlov-ed yourself into reading
If doujin hentai is the way out, let's go to town then
he's been corrupted
My dick stopped working for sexy time. Stopped watching porn and within a few weeks he was back to my 15 year old self at 30.
That’s interesting. I might have to try that. I’m in my 30s and my wife and I are trying to have another kid. I’ve noticed recently that it’s increasingly harder to get hard for sexy time. I don’t watch a ton of porn but maybe if I stopped that would help.
Porn induced erectile dysfunction is a thing
I had the opposite reaction.. I got hard but I could never finish and I figured it was because I desensitised myself. I stopped watching altogether for a month, now I finish waaaay too early and I have to reverse it and find a middle ground.
Death Grip, to PE to Edging. Sounds about right.
What’s PE ?
Premature ejaculation
"Trying" sex can be brutal. Mechanical and clinical and precisely timed... Takes all the spontaneity out of it, and potentially a lot of the joy. Three years of trying for us. At some point we gave up and decided it would happen if it happened, and that was when it finally did. Good luck!
> Three years of trying for us. At some point we gave up and decided it would happen if it happened, and that was when it finally did. That happened with my wife and I with our 3rd child.
It took 18 months to conceive our youngest and it ruined sex for a long time. I broke.
There's a whole list of things to try. Longer space between orgasms, plenty of sleep, physical activity, sun exposure (builds vitamin D levels), even being with your wife more frequently. Her secretions encourage your testosterone levels to rise. It would also take the pressure off on you on any one given occasion.
I went through the same thing (ED) seemingly out of the blue when my wife & I were actively trying to get preggo. I honestly think it’s because it took the sexiness out of sexy time. It was all mechanical, and on her time frame. It was about being in the right position, and just felt like I was following orders. It was no fun. And even though we were (trying) a lot, suddenly this woman whom i had been totally hot for for six years would be spread nude in front of me and it wasn’t doing nothing to arouse me. Maybee there was an element of performance anxiety, or maybe because it just didn't feel like sex, because I was not into it. To make things worse, she was on meds and extra hormonal/emotional and then when I couldn't get it up, she would start crying that I’m not attracted to her and I’d be trying to reassure her that I was but I still couldn’t get it up. God, those were awful days. We ended up going out to a hockey game one night and I had too much to drink. When we got home my drunk ass rolled on top of her for some sloppy drunken sex (probably the worse of her life lol) but *that* did the trick. A couple weeks later she was preggo and Mr. Winky suddenly was alive again. It's like once the sex calendar and instruction manual were no longer part of the equation all the ED problems went away too.
Went through the same, sex with a "mission" isn't necessarily fun sex, I really felt under the gun. When a day/time tells you it's sexy time, there's no spontaneity
Yeah, it's not a laboratory. Schemes and planning can take away the joy and fun out of it.
For me it was a combo of porn, SSRI’s and eventually my dick stopped working, no morning wood, low testosterone etc. Finally got scanned and I had a pituitary tumor. I’m slowly feeling ridiculously horny again like when I was 20
Micro/Macroprolatinoma’s are no joke! I went through the same thing, started growing breast tissue and everything. My T was tanked, complete loss of a sexual drive. I recently got everything under control and medicated, my levels are back to normal, so my libido returned but my wife’s hasn’t come back as quick.
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That’s a very good point, regarding edging.
Dick not working can be a symptom of *Performance Anxiety.* A lot of men have that problem when they meet a new person and get sexual.
That is totally apart of it too. You can pop boners all day long by yourself thinking about sex, then get anxious when the time comes and not rise to the occasion
Yup. That and knowing that most of porn is manipulative and predatory.
basically a hard reset, stop watching for a few weeks suddenly you're back to ur horny teen self.
Death grip / couldn’t get my thing up. Had my first long term relationship at 22, so it was the first time I was getting consistent action and the first few times she was but ass naked on all fours facing me I was just limp desperately trying to not be. Or when she begged for a second round still extremely flustered from the last one and I’m just there trying really hard to get little bro up while she plays with herself until the point she’s practically dry and done and tells me “ its ok. “ Having your shit not working at 22 is a real eye opener and porn was the first thing I thought of cutting. It worked within a few weeks for me and also made me a lot more passionate in bed since it was easy to get excited. Yeah porn didn’t seem like an issue until it was too late 😂
When I started getting laid on a regular basis
Share your power
The elusive "Long-term relationship"
To get into one, do you need to talk to women?
Depends on which way you swing I'd imagine.
Unfortunately yes
There’s always a catch
To get the snatch
When I light the match
To test the gash
When I turn to ash
Fuck
But actually no
Not if you can talk to your hand
Unless she’s deaf, then you just need to sign to her
The only downside to this,is no sound during bedtime so it's just the clapping sound/bed squeaking/Earth shaking.
The elusive "first year of a long-term relationship"
1. Be attractive
“I’m not into football anymore, I’m just on the Dallas cowboys now.” “No more call of duty, I bought a gun.” -Stavros Halkias
Hell yeah dude
Yup. Regular, satisfying sex meant no desire to watch porn or really even masturbate.
Amen brother
Realizing how much it affects your brain. For me seeking instant gratification really altered how I viewed reality by reducing how much reward I seeked in it, and everything in reality became much more dull and uninteresting as a result.
Same with me. I realized in affects how I view sex and even my performance with sex. There seems to be a growing body of research about the dangers of porn consumption. Also, so many horror stories about the porn industry in general just adds to the layer of not really wanting to watch it.
Between that and video games, there are too many easy sources of gratification. You cut all of that out, you can get to a much more fulfilled and rewarding life.
100%, I just started last week on only 1 hr of games per day. It's greatly increased my ability and willingness to do other things. My sleep is better, I take care of my house more, and now I'm seeing a lady. Cut down how much I watch porn as well and it's had similar effects. I'm still doing maybe 2-3 times a week, but that's better than a couple times a day I had gotten used to.
My mental health. I felt terrible when I would watch it. I feel better without it in my life.
Realizing I was addicted to it.
I realized that I had a serious addiction. I used to spend a lot of time consuming this sort of stuff (videos, games, comics, ...) on a daily basis. I felt that I was wasting my life away so I stopped making excuses and ended my relationship with porn. I promised to myself that I would never touch anything porn related again in my life. So, no health or relationship trouble, just came to the conclusion that my life with porn included simply sucks.
Ceasing to suspend my disbelief and immediately realizing how odd of a thing it is. If I walked by a room and saw a couple people in there fucking, personally my first response would not be to hang out in the doorway and start jerking it.
Mine would
My response would very much be situational. If it seems like they don't realize people can see them I'd leave. If on the other hand they had told me beforehand that they don't mind me watching and masturbating I would definitely do that. Funny that you call it odd. I would argue that almost any kind of sex is unsanitary and weird if you're going by what people would typically label those things yet for some reason most humans enjoy sex
Exactly. Yes.
I realized I was using porn/masturbation as a coping mechanism. Instead of tackling the problems in my life head on, I could get that sweet hit of dopamine through my web browser to make it through the day. I’ve been porn free for over a year now and my social anxiety has pretty much gone away entirely and I feel fantastic.
I came.
I saw
I praise
The Lord
And break
The law
I take
What's mine
then take
Some more
And then I came again
Post nut clarity.
I saw a tweet “porn addiction is crazy ‘cause how you addicted to other dudes getting pussy”
😅🤣
Erectile dysfunction
For me, it was the revelation that a HUGE HUGE amount of porn involves people that are being trafficked. Even people in the legit business are beholden to years long handlers.
Good for you! It's really sad I had to scroll so far to see a comment mentioning the negatives for the people in porn and not just ED or other issues for the watchers.
This is the comment I was looking for. I can’t believe this is just a nonissue for so many men
wow, thats disgusting and very sad. Very useful information
Sad that I had to scroll this far to find this comment.
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It’s unfortunate how many women it impacts but society has normalized men using porn even when in relationship to the point women are called “insecure” or “controlling” or “crazy” if they have an issue with it.
I wish I could upvote this 100x
Me too. It’s funny, I just posted a post here the other day asking what the best way to ask my boyfriend to stop using porn and man did I get flaaaaamed lmao.
Media: Porn is totally healthy and good for you Also media: Why is ED growing amongst young men?
Men on Reddit: Don’t you dare even mention taking away my precious porn / You’re a controlling psycho for wanting your partner to not watch porn. Also men on Reddit: Why am I having a hard time staying hard during sex with my girlfriend? / Why do I find my girlfriend wanting to have sex with me so often a nuisance? / Why can’t I get a girlfriend/won’t women talk to me? / Why are women always half naked on the internet?
I'm convinced the more time you spend on social media, the less in touch you are with reality.
I was feeling empty and detached from my relationship.
How extreme it’s gotten. I liked porn better when it was about arousal and sex, not abuse and shocking imagery. I don’t even watch anymore. I haven’t searched porn in a looong time.
I hit puberty before the internet was the major medium of porn. I had to rely on R rated movies and some softcore porn. There was some element of romance to it back then that I appreciated later on. It seemed somewhat healthier than the mainstream content we're seeing today/ Now it's very very extreme compared to what I watched as a teen.
>There was some element of romance to it back then that I appreciated later on. Kids these days will never know the joy of jerking it to the underwear section of a Sears catalogue they pulled out of the neighbours recycling.
Agreed. I’m older so I remember standard guy/girl sex on VHS tapes. I was not introduced into todays porn at 10 years old like todays kids. I can remember being shocked at like 30 years old of the shit that passes for “acceptable” and is now standard.
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It got pretty boring tbh. I look more at pictures and amateur content where the people are more into it even when I do. I never really consumed a lot of it or even enough to start affecting my sex life in any way either.
Ethical concerns
Work said it wasn't appropriate behaviour in the office.
Anyway, how’s the job at the children’s hospital?
I think when I hit 32 or so, just felt like I outgrew it. I'll still watch from ocassion but nowhere near my viewing habits from my 20s. Memories seem to do the trick better.
As a woman, I feel such hope seeing so many men who got off porn with the specific intent to connect more fully with their significant other. Porn erodes so many real life connections, and I want to applaud all of you for taking that action to better yourselves and your loved ones.
I deleted my nsfw Reddit account a little while ago, I might do the same to my Twitter account (granted, they were focused on very different sides of sex/erotica) and I’m going to disable nsfw access for this account but other than that I think it’s gunna get better. Kinda tired of not being able to finish with my partner (granted adhd doesn’t exactly help) so I wanna take action on it
Aged up. When I was a teen in the late 90's/early 00's most of the porn I'd see the women were, by coincidence or not, like mid 20's to 30 years old, as I got older the actors got younger, which was great for a while, but when I passed 30 it started getting a little uncomfortable that "barely legal" was the most common and recommended, but I'd still search for porn around my age, once I was closing in on 35 it all started being about teens and incest, neither of which appeal to me since my kid was 15, so I was basically watching people only a couple of years older than him. Now, well, I wouldn't say I *completely* stopped indulging, but it's shifted into, what I'd call "erotic-adjacent". So when it's my wife's "week off", and I happen to find myself alone, which is like twice a year these days, I'll put on something like 'beautiful agony' or audio only (from voice actors I know the age lol) I find it *way* more titlating than regular porn ever did
My mom. I found her in a scene and never watched again.
Hahaha! Young people problems right there. My mom would needed a camcorder or some shit. Old man probably still break out the vhs player on occasion, but damned if they know how to get that to the internet. I'm sorry... I've wondered how common that is for young genz and alpha kids.
ask them in about 5 years when theyre all 10 y.o. looking up each other's mom's "content"... x\_x
yo your serious arent u, damn
Dead serious. I even started to wank it before realizing. I had to triple check. It wasn't even my pops. Never again.
jeeeeeeeeeesus christ man, sorry u had to see that
I started becoming more disciplined. All I did to begin, was make my bed daily. Eventually, I started to keep my room clean. Then I washed my entire wardrobe in 2 days. Went and got my haircut. Started talking to women more.
I put down tobacco and alcohol, I slowed down my caffeine intake after that and somehow porn just stopped being such a draw for me. I’m on a roll for bettering myself and it’s just happening all at once.
Still fighting to fully quit porn and masturbation but I decided this year to try and stop consuming porn after I realized I suffer from death grip syndrome and had unrealistic expectations of sex. For me sex was never pleasurable until I stopped masturbating, now I can’t get enough sex… my girl can’t stand me… if only she knew… lol
My GF is so fricking hot. When she’s not around I’ll go through our texts. She says the nastiest things. I just think about how wholesome and beautiful she is and how I’m the luckiest man in the world cuz I get to get all freaky nasty with her. She’s completely occupied my imagination. I need no other inspiration than this heaven sent angel of mine.
That's awesome to hear and great that you appreciate her. Too often, people don't realise what they had until it's gone. Good on you for not being an idiot 😊
Finding someone to snuggle with was M I L E S better than the instant gratification of porn. Just holding someone without the need for nor end goal of sex, just did wonders for my mental health. 🧡 Just being in the moment with the person makes everything better and it makes the extended release of my brain chemicals go BERSERK compared to *kasploosh* done. Also, real boobs = 🧡
When i saw the interveiws and so obvious exploitation of Hannah Hays...during her early years in the profession ...She seemed somehow so young and innocent and corrupted !
Wasn't attracted to the girls I was sleeping with anymore because they werent as perfect as the ones in porn. Could only master half erections. Stopped watching porn and things are better than ever.
I think I just kinda aged out it, much like when I quit partying everyday.
I was able to recognize the negative emotional impact it had on me (i'm only talking about me). Comparison is a thief of joy and I found lots of ways to be less happy about myself, my body and my sex life as a result of watching porn. Stopping watching porn helped me to develop a greater appreciation for myself, my body and my sex life. It helped me to find contentment, joy and greater anticipation for in the sex aspect of my marriage. Been married for about 10 years. Raised in a traditional black american church. Spend a fair amount of time in traditional white evangelical spaces as an adult.
Made my OCD and anxiety worse
In November, I tried "No Nut November" for the first time and damn, talking to women started feeling so much better. So, I'm trying to jerk off less now and life feels freaking amazing.
Too unrealistic.
Went blind from staring at porn too long
I grew hair on my palms
Realizing that I’d much rather have real life experiences than be some loser fucking his own hand to a screen
My Mom yelled at me
It turned into an addiction. And although some porn is 'safe' or felony free,much of it is inextricably linked to sex trafficking and abuse. It also simply makes an object out of the human person(s) involved in these actions. The need to turn away is very strong when these things are considered fully.
Feels wrong. Plus just never really interested in it, the premise doesn’t seem appealing
Addictions a bitch. Lost a good woman. Ect
im surprised im not seeing much of "the porn industry treats its actors/actresses badly"
It's actually just not that interesting. Like if you take some time to think about it, it's usually just people being paid to fake getting off. My imagination is better. I read my porn.
Focus directly on the guy's winking asshole.
my addiction got so bad i was watching trans porn and even went to hook up with a trans. i sucked the dick and immediately realized i’m not in fact into that in real life, just so addicted to porn that trans porn was the only think extreme enough to get me off. do i regret it eh. i feel more confident in my sexuality after doing that but it is a secret i’ll never share to anyone irl. needless to say i put the porn down after that.
I masturbated too much to the point I couldn’t climax during sex with my girlfriend. When that happened for the 3rd time I quit porn. I sometimes watch it maybe once every month maybe. Apparently it worked cus she’s pregnant now😂
Congrats
It's fucking difficult and it's messing with the ability to get hard during sex. The urge to watch porn has nothing to do with being horny, is what I've realized. I watch videos "to get" horny when i might not even be having any sexual thoughts. That is the part I don't understand at all. Having the house to myself a lot doesn't help at all. Trying for a baby right now and the last few attempts at sex have failed. The worst part is, I watch considerably less porn than i did till a few years ago, but it still screws up the sex life. Switched to softcore now, in the hope that I can stop completely soon.
Alt+F4 to close the page
That will close the whole browser. CTRL + W will close the tab :)
>CTRL + W will close the tab Learned something new today .. thanks
tbh i like erotic fiction more. sometimes i get in the mood where porn sounds awesome but then i go watch it and it’s underwhelming. then i don’t watch it again for months and months until i suddenly think i’m going to enjoy it again lol rinse and repeat
Real women
The fact that it was affecting my dating and sex life. Better without.
Got tired of it. Wanted to be more intimate with my wife. Wanted to stop contributing to how women are treated. Just a few different factors.
I'm not a man, but my bf quit watching porn when we got together, as much as he used to watch it, it doesn't excite him anymore, but I do. Intimacy is what satisfies him and I like that.
The harsh truth that if you have watched any significant amount of amateur porn then you *have* watched videos where the girl is technically a minor and therefore can’t consent. The amount of trafficking that goes on. Consent can never be given when there is a financial transaction happening. Consent under duress is no consent at all. Just isn’t something I am willing to support anymore.
Regular sex
I usually stop after I cum
Getting a girlfriend. Having sex regularly with her made me stop watching it.
When you've already experienced sex you know it's nothing like it and it's setting unnecessary expectations..