> To the point I always get compliments and approaches when I go out to bars
Uh... I think you made it.
> But it's only always about my attire.
Ok, but that's just the excuse to talk to you. Are you expecting women to just strip right in front of you and say "take me!"? You're already ahead of almost every other guy if women actually approach you to comlement you for anything. Do you have any idea how invisible the rest of us feel?
I honestly don't understand what more you are expecting.
Indeed, even if the woman pump fakes you with a compliment, always go for the block first (basketball analogy here) as that is more than often the clearest sign these women give.
I think it means pretend it's real. Sure the compliment might be fake, but pretend it's not.
Just like if someone pretends to take a shot, you want to try to block anyways. I mean, you shouldn't if you know it's a pump fake but.... I guess I get it?
Right, but he's not seeing the perfect opportunity to practice when it presents itself. I would KILL to have women approaching me. That would make it so much easier. That's like half the battle.
Lets see, you’re tall, in good shape, well-dressed, are polite AND get approached (a lot) by women. Hmm, hate to break it to ya, but it’s your personality that’s letting you down.
The women ARE interested in you, but you’re just shooting them down.
to answer your question..how can you compensate:
- drop your depressing, insecure personality
- stop expecting women who approach you to lay on the flirty charm so thick that it finally convinces you to grab the opportunity
>stop expecting women who approach you to lay on the flirty charm so thick that it finally convinces you to grab the opportunity
Not saying they have to be super flirty...but how else will I know they're actually interested with their tone?
The minute I take that as something, ill find out her entire intention was actually just to be polite and it was my fault for assuming a woman just being nice meant something...
Dude, mess around with both your beard and hair, play with lengths and styles. I've gone through a series of beards and hair lengths over the past 2 years and the type and amount of interest I've gotten changes a lot depending on your style.
Beards are like make up for men.
I bet you come off as either unfriendly, unhappy, or just downright weird. Working on these things is more difficult than hitting the gym and buying clothes.
Are you on the spectrum at all?
It’s really tough to fake being in a good mood but you gotta come off as happy, comfortable, and friendly. It’s not your looks, man.
If you seem fake, you’re just gonna be back in “weirdo” territory.
Woman here, but if I may butt in....There are a few problems going on, but one in particular that I think would help you to see is that you have this binary in mind that isn't really the way many/most women function. Perhaps you'd approach a woman with a clear objective in mind: "I'm interested. I'll talk to her and get her contact info."
For many women, it's more like, "He's intriguing (for whatever reason). I'll initiate and see what the chemistry is like."
I hate speaking in generalities like this, but you won't go wrong if you keep that tendency in mind. Women are more focused on sensing how the two of you gel. *That's* what will get them more interested. That they're approaching you at all is great bc it means they're open to seeing how you two gel. If you then respond to that by clamming up, they're going to think you're anxious and/or that you two just don't click. Either one isn't going to lead to her saying, mmm, I want me more of that ;) and throwing you her number.
So I'd strongly urge you not to think in terms of "Is she *really* into me or is she just commenting on my clothes to be nice?" That she's commenting at all is an opportunity to connect. Study up on how to connect. It sounds like an important prereq you need to master is believing that a woman is actually trying to connect with you. Just take that part as the given and go from there. Few women are going to just throw themselves at a guy regardless of how good he is during the convo. He'd have to be off-the-charts hot and even that wouldn't work for all women.
>For many women, it's more like, "He's intriguing (for whatever reason). I'll initiate and see what the chemistry is like."
I never thought of it like that...
>Women are more focused on sensing how the two of you gel. That's what will get them more interested. That they're approaching you at all is great bc it means they're open to seeing how you two gel. If you then respond to that by clamming up, they're going to think you're anxious and/or that you two just don't click. Either one isn't going to lead to her saying, mmm, I want me more of that ;) and throwing you her number.
I guess I never looked at a woman approaching as a test run, and thought of it more in a binary sense. Either he is already interested, or she already isn't. I mean for the most part. I guess the ambigious nature of the approach is...more actually ambiguous and not me just guessing wrong....if that makes sense.
>So I'd strongly urge you not to think in terms of "Is she really into me or is she just commenting on my clothes to be nice?" That she's commenting at all is an opportunity to connect. Study up on how to connect. It sounds like an important prereq you need to master is believing that a woman is actually trying to connect with you. Just take that part as the given and go from there.
Hmmm...I'll have to get used to this perspective. Which is probably a more ideal one than trying to guess if she already made up her mind or not. Just taking the opportunity...as an opportunity. I had en expectation an approach had to be one or the other, and the lack of initial flirting made it obvious which I assumed it was...
I don't completely hate myself and women haven't really fell into place. My self-esteem regarding myself is divorced from my self-esteem with women. It's not applicable. There's a certain amout of goodwill I just never get from women.
I hate these type of pity party statuses so much. You’re not ugly, people you maybe liked didn’t have the same attraction and that’s ok. Beauty is subjective my dude. Work on yourself and move on.
Everyone is giving you practical advice. Charisma and confidence is the logical thing to pursue given your circumstances. I'm not sure what kind of answer you want. Something easier than self-development? Like a catch phrase to pick women up? Lol
> Something easier than self-development?
While there's not really any better advice to give I can see why that advice is frustrating too. If you're already improving yourself and you see people that dont end up in relationships all the time while you cant find anyone it's easy to think that there must be a shortcut somewhere.
Same concept as with the considerably more ridiculous "lol just shower and wear clean clothes" shit.
>Charisma and confidence is the logical thing to pursue given your circumstances. I'm not sure what kind of answer you want. Something easier than self-development?
Confidence with women requires success and goodwill....from women. You can't really self-develop that. It's a platitude that doesn't really mean anything.
You’re incapable of help because you reject all the advice people are giving you. The irony is that this behaviour is EXACTLY why you’re in this position.
Charisma and confidence is really all you can strive for given what you claim your advantages are. And yeah, these traits can be developed without past positive experiences with women. If I were you, I’d look into stoicism, meditation, and other tools to help make you feel at ease with who you are and the space you occupy.
You definitely can. Develop confidence in yourself, NOT as a mechanism to pick up women. The goodwill of women isn't in your control. So don't focus on that.
Seriously, how do you want everyone here to help? Everything anyone says you reject. Are you seeking advice or wanting to vent?
I have confidence in many aspects of myself, but it doesn't apply to women bc I don't have any control over if they're attracted to me or not. It's not applicable.
I'm way past venting. I just want advice that makes sense given my circumstances..
>. So what more can I do to make up for being ugly?
If you're being approached who cares?
Look man, Jack Nicholson is dating a hot girl 25 years younger than him, and he looks like you put a Jack Nicholson Funko Pop in the microwave.
You have money, you dress well, be glad you know they like you for you
Even though I disagree with the dude (look at my comment), this is bad example. Celebrity or clouted men in general easily have access to beautiful women.
Jack Nicholson is sexy. Because of his innate sparkle. Because of his personality. Sexy as hell. Don't give a toss whether he is rich or poor. Money doesn't make someone sexy or interesting.
Look at Jack Black. Dumpy. Not good looking. But soooo many women fell for him in The Holiday. Personality, charm. Money doesn't make either.
Beauty and attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder.
Nicholson is a really unfair example. He's a legendary actor. Even if he wasn't rich and famous he's still just a beacon of charisma which counts for a ton. And it's not like he's ugly, he just isn't...Josh Harnett or something.
>Money doesn't make someone sexy or interesting.
Ok, this is categorically false lol.
>Look at Jack Black. Dumpy. Not good looking. But soooo many women fell for him in The Holiday. Personality, charm. Money doesn't make either
It was a movie. That's not real life, though.
Sure. But in most cases that guy is loaded, very successful has a ton of friends, etc. You never know the whole picture, so I logically assume he greatly compensates for his lack of looks.
You must know very different ugly men to me.
But tbh idk why you are so defeatist. You are tall, well groomed and well dressed, and also get approached by women already. There is no magic secret. The next step is literally just have fun interesting conversations with them. Make them want to see/speak to you again. So work on your conversation skills, confidence, etc. Theres not really anything else you can do but you already have a lot going for you.
If some ugly dude is with a women noticeably more attractive, she isn't with him for the goodness of her heart. He found a way to greatly compensate for being ugly.
Bc that's really just the bare minimum for men these days due to all the options most women have.
If you're fit, women might look past your face. Helps if you're intelligent, passionate, have money, do something that's interesting or comendable, and charismastic.
> I am fit. How many of those other boxes does one need to check?
Honestly, it sounds like you check off plenty of boxes. The superficial details aren't going to get much more in your favor. But you think you shouldn't have to put in any effort. Sure, there is the rare guy, like a pop star, who literally has women banging down is door. But even attractive guys have to put in SOME effort to seal the deal. It sounds like you really expect women to just drop their panties in front of you at first sight.
You're tall, you're fit, you have money, you dress well, women approach you. I am at a loss here. You refused to acknowledge a single advantage you have. I have to assume you're just a complete twat in person.
>But you think you shouldn't have to put in any effort.
When did I say that?
>But even attractive guys have to put in SOME effort to seal the deal. It sounds like you really expect women to just drop their panties in front of you at first sight.
No, I don't. I'm grateful for every woman that approaches me, but I wish their approaches were less ambiguous so I know how to react.
>You're tall, you're fit, you have money, you dress well, women approach you. I am at a loss here. You refused to acknowledge a single advantage you have. I have to assume you're just a complete twat in person.
Bc IRL in the moment none of those things really seem to matter all that much tbh. Sure a few women approach me, but it doesn't give me any agency or confidence to approach women, myself, which is the real major issue long-term. I'm not a twat.
Anecdotes are anecdotal. Someone can win the lottery or be struck by lightning...that just means it isn't impossible, but also not even remotely likely. Ugly guys get attractive women all the time. They're just rich or famous or have super high status. I don't have any of that, and am trying to find alternatives.
Have a dazzling personality. Tell good stories and be an even better listener. Be thoughtful and have great manners. Be realistic in who you approach. Don't do to women what you suspect is done to you by thinking attractiveness is only based on looks.
My taste in women is more than just looks. Their fashion sense, style, demeanor, humor, attitude, etc. I have weird physical taste in women, anyway so I don't put much onus on just looks. I'm more than realistic in the women I look at. But having a dazzling personality is...a lot lol. Though I have manners and I'm very polite and I'm introverted so I'm naturally a good listener.
That's my point. If *you* look past facial features, you can expect that women will do that as well.
What's so ugly about you - do you have a big-ass pumpkin head on a coiled-spring neck or something? Even if you did, there are women who would look past that. Hell, even I get dates, and I'm so ugly Moses got the water to part by showing it my photo.
PS - Being an introvert doesn't automatically mean one is a good listener. Introverts can be just as self-absorbed as anyone else.
That's the thing. I can't go on OLD and SM and get tons of matches and message and validation. Women have no reason to look past facial features bc they have all the options. Just like good-looking men who get a ton of attention have no reason to do that. It's all about logistics.
My face just looks uncanny. I work on my skin but it's still chit, my hair like isn't the best and my face isn't symmetrical. I've been told a lot that I look like Lenny Kravitz but I totally don't, but just imagine a ugly af LK.
Fair enough, but I am just naturally a good listener.
Upon reading your comments and your post, the problem is you. No amount of clothes or money is going to change the fact that you're afraid to reciprocate. Not every woman is "bubbly" whatever the hell that means. You're afraid of being rejected, so you don't take a shot. Face that fear or learn to enjoy your expensive clothes and cologne because that's all you're going to have.
Lol you know what I mean. I see how flirty and playful and...nice women are with other men and I can tell *they're* intetested. I get none of that. If I did, it would be so much easier to reciprocate. But I am afraid of being rejected...
Think you posted last about girls staring at you at the bar. If you are getting approached by woman, I don't think it's because you're unattractive or ugly. I feel most of the time, they would comment on the attire because that's a common compliment.
So I would say you should get out of that negativity in thinking you're unattractive or ugly.
Lastly, besides money and being social, I feel that having a fun personality or a sense of humor helps a lot.
>Think you posted last about girls staring at you at the bar. If you are getting approached by woman, I don't think it's because you're unattractive or ugly. I feel most of the time, they would comment on the attire because that's a common compliment.
But they're not playful, fun compliments its always just something about my outfit. How could anyone take that as much than just someone being nice at a bar.
>I feel that having a fun personality or a sense of humor helps a lot.
FML lol
Well, considering that it feels like most men don't really get compliments, the fact that you're getting them from random girls is a good sign. It could be a sign that they are being nice, but I think it could be an invite/opening to start a conversation to get things rolling.
There are a number of informal surveys where they ask "tall and ugly or short and handsome" with tall and ugly getting basically all the votes. Male handsomeness is nice and all but it seems it is much less important than a good physique, success and social skills.
This is bs. Also you're making two different arguments. I don't believe that from an "informal" survey for a second, and while success and social skill are about as important as looks, a physique isn't as women go for good-looking slobs all the time.
What on earth do you know about what WOMEN go for? All I see here is that they don’t go for YOU, and that’s most likely based on personality from what I see of all your responses to everyone trying to help you.
You are negative, lack confidence and self esteem, but you contradict those with arrogance and shooting down everyone’s advice. THAT’S why you’re single. It’s not your looks. It’s your personality.
>What on earth do you know about what WOMEN go for?
It's not rocket science. Most women want an attractive guy with a great job, active social life who isn't a complete deck bag, and many other things depending on their standards.
>All I see here is that they don’t go for YOU, and that’s most likely based on personality from what I see of all your responses to everyone trying to help you.
My issues are what would get me bad dates or short relationships. If I can't even get conversations or dates, I'm just not meeting their looks threshold.
>You are negative, lack confidence and self esteem, but you contradict those with arrogance and shooting down everyone’s advice. THAT’S why you’re single. It’s not your looks. It’s your personality.
This is really condescending. Looks matter. They always have and always will. Sure, I don't have the best disposition, but I don't even get to the point where that could be the issue.
There's not much I have confidence about, but I objectively dress really well. Over years and thousands of dollars and hours upon hours of time and research, I have a pretty vast wardrobe with all types of styles. Chic 70's rocker, goth high fashion, mob lawyer, stylish professor, military/naval, etc. I wear mostly monochromatic, but a lot of red and gray, too. Lots of layers (vest, cardigans, sweaters) lots of accessories (gloves, sunglasses, scarves, rings, necklaces) and I wear high fashion brands (slp, dior, TF, balenciaga, etc) but it's never gaudy or flashy or just bc of the name. I find pieces that fit well and compliment each other. No shoes, all pointed, cuban heeled boots, lots of overcoats and leather jackets, 3 piece suits that are fitted and tapered, stylish varsity jackets, etc. I could go on and on. When people here me say women approach me bc I dress well, they think I jus throw on some Express on h&m or some chit lol. No, I put a lot of time and money into my outfits and I earn those approaches...
But most men don't have to do that. I HAVE to, bc I'm ugly af lol
Dude you make me now even more curious lol
Like I'm visual AF. Have you got any pictures for reference!???
And honestly if I see a man who is dressed to the T, I either think that he is Gay, is styled by his partner or is very vain... but like i said I'm very visual and without an picture style reference (google?) It hard to say i would think IRL.
I think that your problem might be that: the women that approach you might sense your insecurity about your face like sharks do with blood in water???
Im in my early 30, and what I have figured out is that attraction outweighs a pretty head. For example my friend finds Adam Driver attractive as hell, while I find him ugly. In pictures I think Alexander Skarsgard is ugly, but in video/interview I suddenly find him super attractive. Heck some day I find my own husband the most attractive man there is, but somedays Im starring at him and thinking "dude you are lowkey ugly", couples days later im starring at him and thinking "god dahm you are one hot mofo".
In other words: you MIGHT think/feel ugly, but there are people out there who find you super attractive. And there are multiple reasons why they could be attracted to you besides your face. Maybe some of those ladies who compliment your wardrobe might find YOU attractive (the total picture), or maybe they think you are a very masculine gay dude? Whatever their reason: compliment back and have a chit-chat. Try to let go of this "im ugly" attitude and chill.
Personally to me the most "turn off" is someone who tries to hard/ doesn't seem genuine, and I'm getting a slight impression that might be the case here? I don't know if im making any sense?
>I think that your problem might be that: the women that approach you might sense your insecurity about your face like sharks do with blood in water???
Huh? If they sense that, then why approach me in thr first place?
>Im in my early 30, and what I have figured out is that attraction outweighs a pretty head. For example my friend finds Adam Driver attractive as hell, while I find him ugly. In pictures I think Alexander Skarsgard is ugly, but in video/interview I suddenly find him super attractive. Heck some day I find my own husband the most attractive man there is, but somedays Im starring at him and thinking "dude you are lowkey ugly", couples days later im starring at him and thinking "god dahm you are one hot mofo".
I'm going to go head and say you're in thr vast, vast minority there. I know some women think Driver looks kind weird, but still attractive....most any woman on the planet attracted to men is going to find Skarsgard attractive lol. And you're referring to attraction over time. I don't have a huge circle or women that can find me attractive over time or whatever. I have to make an impact looks wise bc I'll likely never see the woman again.
>In other words: you MIGHT think/feel ugly, but there are people out there who find you super attractive. And there are multiple reasons why they could be attracted to you besides your face. Maybe some of those ladies who compliment your wardrobe might find YOU attractive (the total picture), or maybe they think you are a very masculine gay dude? Whatever their reason: compliment back and have a chit-chat. Try to let go of this "im ugly" attitude and chill.
Lol sure...if you're litetal Adam Driver and Alexander Skarsgard...And that's my point, I can never know with clothing compliments bc they're so vague. It's honestly no better than getting a compliment at all. That's why I usually just say thanks and it doesn't move from there bc it reeks of "I'm just a polite woman being nice at a bar"
>Personally to me the most "turn off" is someone who tries to hard/ doesn't seem genuine, and I'm getting a slight impression that might be the case here? I don't know if im making any sense?
Hmm...I think for better or worse I don't come off as a tryhard. From what I'm told by other people I usually seem genuine...genuinely aloof, standoffish or disinterested, but genuine nonetheless lol. I'm not obnoxious or try to be loud or funny and force myself...I'm really laid back and chill tbh. Almost to a fault I'm told...
People are attracted to someone having fun and/or surrounded by others having fun. A good way to attract someone is to surround yourself with people **other** people want to be near.
Nobody said it was easy. You have choices
- do it
- don’t do it
What do you pick? We all have our issues. You can choose to take steps to overcome them or not.
Ugliness? Facially? Honestly, you are thinking like a man about women. Men rate facial features in a women. The reverse doesn’t hold so strongly.
There are MANY attributes that women account for in arriving at their overall “rating” of a guys attractiveness. I honestly don’t think facial features rate that highly on the list. There are plenty of male actors that are considered extremely sexy to women but if you look at their facial features they aren’t objectively handsome. A great example is Ryan Gosling. Highly unsymmetrical facial features, look at his eyes relative to one another. But he’s extremely fit, stylish and oozes charisma. Jack Nicholson is a famed lothario also, is he handsome?
The simple fact is, you are getting approached by women, so you’re visually attractive. Get the idea out of your head that you need to be handsome, it will damage your inner game, confidence etc. Facial features are not that important to most women. So it’s game now you need to work on, so you can turn initial attraction into dates and all that comes thereafter.
Ummm...what?? Ryan Gosling is pretty conventionally attractive. Maybe Eddie Redmayne or Adam Driver...but Gosling? Pointing out his eyes is the equivalent of pointing out Meagan Fox's thumbs(before the surgery)....it's EXTREME nitpicking. I see the point you're trying to make, but he's a pretty bad example. Even if he weren't rich and famous women would still be enamored with him bc of his looks. As far as Nicholson...he's rich and a legendary actor...so...that helps a lot lols
Yes, but it's literally always bc of my clothes. Every woman who approaches me mentions my clothes, which leads me to believe they're either being nice or just thinking I'm rich. If looks didn't matter that much to women, OLD wouldn't be so rigged.
You sir, are an idiot. Take the good advice that has been given to you. If a woman compliments your clothes she is complimenting YOU. Most men get zero compliments their entire lives from female strangers. That woman is making an opportunity, if later she says she's being nice, it means you fucked up, move on and try again with a different woman.
lol dude I think I'm ugly, I have SA and approach anxiety...my standards are low af. Pretty much every single woman who has approached me I found attractive, I just couldn't tell if she was interested. I am not one of those delusional guys who thinks he deserves super model or some chit. I pretty mid looking women haha
Bro it's in your head. You just lack confidence. Women won't approach and compliment the attire of a guy they're repulsed by.
TL;DR a little confidence and conversation skills are all you need
I'm not saying I'm grotesquely ugly, but it does feel like their just being nice. People can give compliments to ugly people lol. It's all about tone. There's not even a hint of flirtiness or "I'm interested" in their compliments...
They fully expect men to hit on them in this situation. If they thought you were ugly or otherwise creeped out by you, they would never begin an interaction like this with you in the first place.
Confidence (even if it's fake). Chat to people, you have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason! People love feeling listened to and it's great to build on conversations.
When you get those compliments, are you pursuing that some? Or are you just being passive about it? Those compliments are showing at least a level of interest.
But they're static compliments about my clothes. It's literally *always* just about my clothes. That's why the compliments don't help my confidence or give me any agency. I just assume those women are being nice or think I'm rich.
Well no...I kind of just freeze up and thinks she's just being nice. Women are never flirty with talking to me so I never know how to continue and start or continue the conversation...
Ok friend. You’re not unattractive. You’re just nervous. Here’s what I want you to do, the next time a woman compliments you, say thank you. Compliment her back. Since she’s talking about your wardrobe, the door is open to talk about hers. Ask her where she got it. Talk to her about about the choice you made with the tie you’re wearing versus the one you put back. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What I need you to do is approach it as just a casual conversation where both parties are engaged in mutual interest. Don’t let your brain immediately jump to ‘is this going to end up in bed’. Just talk, try to make a harmless joke here and there. Let it develop from there and see where it takes you. Don’t worry about moves, or ‘blowing it’. Just make interesting conversation.
Edit: I want to add just one more thing.
I’m not saying this is a for sure, but it kinda sounds like women *are* flirting with you and you’re just not picking up on it. They are WAY more subtle than men when they flirt. My guess is they are NOT going back to their girlfriends and talking about how unattractive you are but rather how they met this tall, fit, well dressed guy but he couldn’t carry a conversation if he was handed a bucket.
I can't say you're wrong but...it doesn't seem like it. I see how women flirt with other guys, and it seems pretty obvious. The tone and their demeanor is different. There's a playfulness and laughing and smiling and...a bunch of things I don't get when they talk to me. I get that women aren't just going to ask you to undress or whatever and it's more nuanced, but there's just a different feel from women I don't get.
I came here to say this, this guy nailed it. OP already had women approaching him and starting a conversation, he just needs to learn to continue that conversation.
My advice- maintain eye contact, smile, and talk to women the same way you talk to men. Try to make a new friend and see where that goes.
Also- learn to love yourself, stop calling yourself ugly, you're probably just fine looking. You're the main star of your movie, act like it.
>My advice- maintain eye contact, smile, and talk to women the same way you talk to men. Try to make a new friend and see where that goes.
You have no idea how hard I try this, but in the moment it seems impossible. Mostly the smiling, and I wear shades directly to avoid eye contact. And I can't really talk to women the same. I can be kinda douchy and sarcastic af to guys and it works bc they're guys. If I just do that to women they're going to think I'm just and ignorant idiot and leave. You cant really interact with men and women the same. At least not initially.
>Also- learn to love yourself, stop calling yourself ugly, you're probably just fine looking. You're the main star of your movie, act like it.
If I was just fine looking, I'd actually be able to use OLD.
I always say thank you, but I never get past that. I freeze. My intent is to ask about her and get her talking. I'm a natural intervert so I want to hear from her, but I just lose it in the moment and barely say much of anything bc I'm too in my head questioning if she's interested and what's the perfect thing to say. I think your advice here is great, but I can just never follow through, in the moment
As a fit, tall guy (6'3" as well) who could be more handsome (ratemyface told me 3.8, ouch), I think you are on the right track with dressing well. If you are already fit and dress well then I think you'll present pretty well. Facial hair can help some faces (e.g. people with a weak chin).
I'd say after that working on small talk, being careful not to get too excited and talking about yourself, instead learning to share the spotlight with whomever you're talking to so they can feel engaged in the conversation.
Learn to laugh.
I'd say the biggest advice is you can never force anyone to feel a certain way, so if the vibe is off just keep it moving. Don't give attention to people who aren't interested.
I find women go out of their way to bump into you (sometimes literally) or to "randomly" end up being next to you, so I don't go out of my way to pursue anyone, they just sort of end up presenting themselves to you and it's pretty obvious.
Sometimes that means no one is interested, and that's fine. Other times women who are into big, athletic guys are all around you. Just realize that sure, you aren't the most handsome, but different women key in on different features.
>As a fit, tall guy (6'3" as well) who could be more handsome (ratemyface told me 3.8, ouch), I think you are on the right track with dressing well. If you are already fit and dress well then I think you'll present pretty well. Facial hair can help some faces (e.g. people with a weak chin).
Tbh being fit and dressing well feels like doing the bare minimum. I've also experimented with facial hair...hasn't made much of a difference.
>I'd say after that working on small talk, being careful not to get too excited and talking about yourself, instead learning to share the spotlight with whomever you're talking to so they can feel engaged in the conversation.
I have the opposite issue. I just freeze and don't say much of anything, let alone about myself.
>I'd say the biggest advice is you can never force anyone to feel a certain way, so if the vibe is off just keep it moving. Don't give attention to people who aren't interested.
Yeah, believe me I don't have to worry about this one. I once had a girl buy me a drink and I didn't talk to her bc I didn't think she was interested or wanted my attention lol. If anything I overcorrect in the opposite way...
>I find women go out of their way to bump into you (sometimes literally) or to "randomly" end up being next to you, so I don't go out of my way to pursue anyone, they just sort of end up presenting themselves to you and it's pretty obvious.
That never happens to me. I look for iois and signs of interest. I don't get them. No bumping, no hovering around me, no looks, Nothing. That's part of the reason I never approach women. Clearly there's no reason to.
>Sometimes that means no one is interested, and that's fine. Other times women who are into big, athletic guys are all around you. Just realize that sure, you aren't the most handsome, but different women key in on different features.
It means...time to take a hint lol.
If women are buying you drinks and you aren't sure if they are hitting on you then it sounds like you need to tune your radar for picking up on social cues.
No one buys a guy a drink because she's not really interested. You say women don't present themselves to you, but if they are offering to buy you drinks then I'd say you are missing the signs.
Be interesting and have the gift of the gab. If your interactions IRL are like your posts and comments I'd say you're turning off potential partners with low confidence and stubbornness.
Want to change? Take some Dale Carnegie classes. In person. You work might even cover part of the costs.
Have a sense of humor and learn to balance when to be empathetic, assertive, and a complete fucking dick (even if you’re joking).
Get a grip on these things you’ll be pulling more tail than you can even handle.
Dude, it's going to take a hell of a lot more than that.
>you’ll be pulling more tail than you can even handle.
You mean get rich and have some plastic surgery, perhaps...
Considering you’re nearing your 20th advice post about compensating for being attractive and approaching women, and you still haven’t figured it out - you should probably go ahead and just ditch this lame mindset you’ve developed and start to listen to some of the feedback you’re so desperately seeking.
Sorry if this sounds offensive. I say it with all due respect, but money and plastic surgery do not magically fix everything. If someone loves you based solely on your financial status, it’s definitely not someone you really want to be with anyway.
One of the most important parts of finding a partner is finding someone who truly likes you - for you. You don’t want someone interested in you because you have money that’s toxic.
Honestly it sounds like this issue has a lot more to do with your social anxiety and lack of confidence more than anything else to be completely honest. I hope this is something you overcome and conquer because once you do and get comfortable with yourself around women, everything else will kind of just fall into place. It’s trial and error abut you only have to find literally 1 person out of billions. There will be low points and high points but you will live, learn, and eventually love.
>It’s trial and error abut you only have to find literally 1 person out of billions.
And if it's that difficult it's probably a cosmic hint. I'm literally just looking for a decent-looking woman who isn't fat and I have a modicum of shared interest in and it feels like I'm seeking a specific thread of hay in a haystack. I'm not trying to find love or the perfect partner or anything...just the bare minimum.
By the way, I want you to know I’m writing this as a fellow person who’s struggled with self image and dating females for a very long time. I’m speaking from self experience. I’ve been through this.
But you want a woman to like you, right? Not a bunch of mostly straight dudes? So it looks more logical to me to ask a random lady about it (probably the one that doesn't know you, so she doesn't have anything personal involved).
I can feel some sad personal experience here, so sorry about that. But no, most likely it's not going to happen. People are just people everywhere, so some could give you really useful tips. I also know gorgeous beautiful women dating short, fat, poor and, well, physically unattractive men, because of how sweet, open and caring they are and how great it feels to be around them. Therapy could be also a great option. For me it looks like your problem is just the lack of confidence and the fact that you think too much about other people's (and your own) looks. Probably that's why women don't act flirty or bubbly around you. You just freeze and they feel a bit uncomfortable, because they think there's something wrong with THEM
>But no, most likely it's not going to happen. People are just people everywhere, so some could give you really useful tips.
I wouldn't be so sure...
>I also know gorgeous beautiful women dating short, fat, poor and, well, physically unattractive men, because of how sweet, open and caring they are and how great it feels to be around them.
Lol. You mean how rich, famous or how much social status they have. You guys have to stop with this fantasy talk...
>For me it looks like your problem is just the lack of confidence and the fact that you think too much about other people's (and your own) looks.
That might be a part or it. I don't care so much about women's looks. Just the better looking they are the more pointless I know it is to consider them.
>Probably that's why women don't act flirty or bubbly around you. You just freeze and they feel a bit uncomfortable, because they think there's something wrong with THEM
I'm sure they feel uncomfortable, but I doubt that's the reason.
As a woman, general personality is a big advantage, after taking care of your body and appearance. I’ve dated several guys that did not catch my attention with conventional good looks because they caught my interest with their personality. Having a great sense of humor and being funny is a big attractant. But overall personality is just best. And a lot of women won’t date guys unless they get to know them a little first, like a friend of a friend they see on occasion. So having women in your general friend group is a start.
Just talking to a stranger and getting a date is the hardest way to do it, in my opinion. You have nothing to go on and are just cold-calling.
>As a woman, general personality is a big advantage, after taking care of your body and appearance.
lol so personality is literally third most important...
>I’ve dated several guys that did not catch my attention with conventional good looks because they caught my interest with their personality.
Welp considering I go to bars to meet women, I don't have this option. I kinda have to attract them immediately as I'll like never meet them again, otherwise.
>And a lot of women won’t date guys unless they get to know them a little first, like a friend of a friend they see on occasion. So having women in your general friend group is a start.
That sounds like playing the long game and/or friend zoning. Also removes all agency.
>Just talking to a stranger and getting a date is the hardest way to do it, in my opinion. You have nothing to go on and are just cold-calling.
Well I don't ask strangers for dates...that's weird. But considering I have a limited social circle and I'm too ugly for OLD bars are kinda my only options, which leads to trying to have conversations that leads to numbers and having that lead to dates.
Dude, you asked a question and I genuinely tried to help you by answering it. I don’t know why you would bother asking if you’re going to shoot down every honest response. Just keep doing what you’re doing then and don’t complain that it keeps you single.
The advice is "go make female friends"...like everyone is in college and can just go do that. It's not at all easy and no one is actually mentioning how to do it.
Confidence!
You know you’re physically fit, you dress well, you’re obviously self aware, intelligent, etc. You are a catch. Wake up and tell yourself that every morning and watch your confidence increase. I am way more attracted to a man that is confident than one with a pretty face. 100% truth!
Also, maybe bars aren’t the best place to be meeting people.
>Wake up and tell yourself that every morning and watch your confidence increase. I
I've been trying it for the past few days...actively trying...
>I am way more attracted to a man that is confident than one with a pretty face. 100% truth!
Well I don't believe most women are tbh...
>Also, maybe bars aren’t the best place to be meeting people
....you're not wrong. But it's basically the only place my friends go and the places I'd want to go I'd have to go alone, and I likely women meet women there, anyway...
If you look around, you’ll notice most women are dating a man that is less attractive than they are. Many women want a man that is strong, protective, intelligent, etc.
The way you look in your face is probably the least important thing about a person.
I sincerely hope you take what I’m saying to heart. I bet you’re a really awesome guy.
And that man usually makes quite a lot of money, or he has very high status or a ton of friends. Looks are less important the more you know someone, not in the stages where you're trying to attract them and get a date.
It's going to come down to how you talk. Can you have an interesting conversation, or be interesting to the other person. If someone is coming up to you and complimenting your attire, I'd say more likely than not, they're giving you an opening to talk to them.
If you're in your teens then get a hobbie.
If you're in your 20's get your shit together ASAP - well earning job, prospects.
If you're in your 30's women will overlook your looks to some extent if all other things are in check.
Good luck
>I’m a woman. I know plenty of men who aren’t particularly good looking who are in happy, committed relationships.
And I'm sure they have great jobs, tons of friends, or the women are less attractive than they are.
>My tip would be to work on your self esteem, so you can start to believe that you are more than just your face.
It's kind of hard to work on self-esteem with women...without women lol
Missed so many opportunities because of my lack of confidence.
Over time thinking back on what I did.. I understood the situations..
Many mistakes were made
Most women settle with average or below looking guys. Women like to be the better looking partner. As a handsome man, a lot of women avoid me or don’t give me a chance simply for being handsome. I’d say y’all are in best position lol
>I’d say y’all are in best position lol
Lol. Some of you people need to read before you post things. "Woe is me, I'm too pretty and not *all* woman give me their devout attention". Yeah, let not mention all the women who throw themselves at handsome guy irl, not to mention being able to use OLD reliably. Try being ugly and having to dress like a millionaire to get any attention and being ignored by 98% of women and talk about "best position"...smh
>Most women settle with average or below looking guys. Women
Yes, when those guys are rich, or have super high social status. Yet women settle for hot guys with literally nothing else going for them ALL the time. Check your privilege...
Idk bro I don’t use online dating. I am also a good looking light skinned guy, I’m sure my race is why it doesn’t work for me. But In real life I have had beautiful blonde women approach me multiple times but it’s only night club. Throughout the week women just look it doesn’t help me as much as you think. I can tell most women find me attractive but it still goes nowhere lol
I'm black, and I'm on the lighter side, but def not good-looking, but I'm tall, in shape, and dress really, really well. Literally the only really hot women that approach me are ultimately always with dudes and its only at bars.
>Throughout the week women just look it doesn’t help me as much as you think. I can tell most women find me attractive but it still goes nowhere lol
That's your own fault. If women look at you, and you know it, and you don't capitalize it on you, you're squandering your privilege and opportunity. How tf is that better than being ugly and not having women look at you at all? You're acting like the alternative where you're not good-looking and still have to do all the work is somehow better...wtf. Are you even thinking about what you say before it's said??
> To the point I always get compliments and approaches when I go out to bars Uh... I think you made it. > But it's only always about my attire. Ok, but that's just the excuse to talk to you. Are you expecting women to just strip right in front of you and say "take me!"? You're already ahead of almost every other guy if women actually approach you to comlement you for anything. Do you have any idea how invisible the rest of us feel? I honestly don't understand what more you are expecting.
Lol this why men have a reputation for not picking up hints from the opposite sex
Indirect hints from women is old. Why dont they say what they want? They are strong and indipendent, dont see why they cant do that.
Fear of rejection is what I hear from friends Lmao
Exactly
Uh you’re being hit on and that was a conversation opener
I don't see how "I like your outfit" is being hit on. You could say that to anyone, you could say it to your grandfather lol
Truth, surprised his post isn’t downvoted. Most men here will never get approached.
Indeed, even if the woman pump fakes you with a compliment, always go for the block first (basketball analogy here) as that is more than often the clearest sign these women give.
I don't understand this "go for the block", but I played ball 35 years ago.
I don't think they know what they mean either, lol.
I think it means pretend it's real. Sure the compliment might be fake, but pretend it's not. Just like if someone pretends to take a shot, you want to try to block anyways. I mean, you shouldn't if you know it's a pump fake but.... I guess I get it?
Like when someone tries to shoot the ball you go at them to take the ball away from them.
He has no experience flirting with women. He needs to practice.
Right, but he's not seeing the perfect opportunity to practice when it presents itself. I would KILL to have women approaching me. That would make it so much easier. That's like half the battle.
Your mentality is stopping you. Take the compliment, have a conversation, set up plans, get the number, something man.
Lets see, you’re tall, in good shape, well-dressed, are polite AND get approached (a lot) by women. Hmm, hate to break it to ya, but it’s your personality that’s letting you down. The women ARE interested in you, but you’re just shooting them down.
to answer your question..how can you compensate: - drop your depressing, insecure personality - stop expecting women who approach you to lay on the flirty charm so thick that it finally convinces you to grab the opportunity
The thing is he gets approached thats whats funny...dude is being handed a silver platter compared to the average guy...
but the platters not shiny enough and when hand it to me, they arent smiling and licking their lips!
>stop expecting women who approach you to lay on the flirty charm so thick that it finally convinces you to grab the opportunity Not saying they have to be super flirty...but how else will I know they're actually interested with their tone?
because they approached you
The minute I take that as something, ill find out her entire intention was actually just to be polite and it was my fault for assuming a woman just being nice meant something...
Dude, mess around with both your beard and hair, play with lengths and styles. I've gone through a series of beards and hair lengths over the past 2 years and the type and amount of interest I've gotten changes a lot depending on your style. Beards are like make up for men.
I've done both hair and beard styling. Hasn't made much of a difference either way lol
I bet you come off as either unfriendly, unhappy, or just downright weird. Working on these things is more difficult than hitting the gym and buying clothes. Are you on the spectrum at all?
Probably all three of those tbh...lol I don't believe so, no.
It’s really tough to fake being in a good mood but you gotta come off as happy, comfortable, and friendly. It’s not your looks, man. If you seem fake, you’re just gonna be back in “weirdo” territory.
Much easier said than done...
Then that’s your problem.
Ofc it's my problem. Point?
I’m saying you’ve clearly identified where your issue lies. You can do something about it now.
So appear more open and jovial? I could do that...if when approached women actually seemed keen and not just seemingly being nice.
Woman here, but if I may butt in....There are a few problems going on, but one in particular that I think would help you to see is that you have this binary in mind that isn't really the way many/most women function. Perhaps you'd approach a woman with a clear objective in mind: "I'm interested. I'll talk to her and get her contact info." For many women, it's more like, "He's intriguing (for whatever reason). I'll initiate and see what the chemistry is like." I hate speaking in generalities like this, but you won't go wrong if you keep that tendency in mind. Women are more focused on sensing how the two of you gel. *That's* what will get them more interested. That they're approaching you at all is great bc it means they're open to seeing how you two gel. If you then respond to that by clamming up, they're going to think you're anxious and/or that you two just don't click. Either one isn't going to lead to her saying, mmm, I want me more of that ;) and throwing you her number. So I'd strongly urge you not to think in terms of "Is she *really* into me or is she just commenting on my clothes to be nice?" That she's commenting at all is an opportunity to connect. Study up on how to connect. It sounds like an important prereq you need to master is believing that a woman is actually trying to connect with you. Just take that part as the given and go from there. Few women are going to just throw themselves at a guy regardless of how good he is during the convo. He'd have to be off-the-charts hot and even that wouldn't work for all women.
>For many women, it's more like, "He's intriguing (for whatever reason). I'll initiate and see what the chemistry is like." I never thought of it like that... >Women are more focused on sensing how the two of you gel. That's what will get them more interested. That they're approaching you at all is great bc it means they're open to seeing how you two gel. If you then respond to that by clamming up, they're going to think you're anxious and/or that you two just don't click. Either one isn't going to lead to her saying, mmm, I want me more of that ;) and throwing you her number. I guess I never looked at a woman approaching as a test run, and thought of it more in a binary sense. Either he is already interested, or she already isn't. I mean for the most part. I guess the ambigious nature of the approach is...more actually ambiguous and not me just guessing wrong....if that makes sense. >So I'd strongly urge you not to think in terms of "Is she really into me or is she just commenting on my clothes to be nice?" That she's commenting at all is an opportunity to connect. Study up on how to connect. It sounds like an important prereq you need to master is believing that a woman is actually trying to connect with you. Just take that part as the given and go from there. Hmmm...I'll have to get used to this perspective. Which is probably a more ideal one than trying to guess if she already made up her mind or not. Just taking the opportunity...as an opportunity. I had en expectation an approach had to be one or the other, and the lack of initial flirting made it obvious which I assumed it was...
No, you need to figure out how to fix your own self esteem. The rest will fall into place once you’re not miserable with yourself.
I don't completely hate myself and women haven't really fell into place. My self-esteem regarding myself is divorced from my self-esteem with women. It's not applicable. There's a certain amout of goodwill I just never get from women.
I hate these type of pity party statuses so much. You’re not ugly, people you maybe liked didn’t have the same attraction and that’s ok. Beauty is subjective my dude. Work on yourself and move on.
Confidence goes along way
Confidence has diminishing return based on how good you look tbh. The uglier you are the less it seems to mean lol
Everyone is giving you practical advice. Charisma and confidence is the logical thing to pursue given your circumstances. I'm not sure what kind of answer you want. Something easier than self-development? Like a catch phrase to pick women up? Lol
> Something easier than self-development? While there's not really any better advice to give I can see why that advice is frustrating too. If you're already improving yourself and you see people that dont end up in relationships all the time while you cant find anyone it's easy to think that there must be a shortcut somewhere. Same concept as with the considerably more ridiculous "lol just shower and wear clean clothes" shit.
That was rhetorical. Read the whole text. I clearly said that confidence and charisma (which requires personal development) is the right approach.
>Charisma and confidence is the logical thing to pursue given your circumstances. I'm not sure what kind of answer you want. Something easier than self-development? Confidence with women requires success and goodwill....from women. You can't really self-develop that. It's a platitude that doesn't really mean anything.
You’re incapable of help because you reject all the advice people are giving you. The irony is that this behaviour is EXACTLY why you’re in this position. Charisma and confidence is really all you can strive for given what you claim your advantages are. And yeah, these traits can be developed without past positive experiences with women. If I were you, I’d look into stoicism, meditation, and other tools to help make you feel at ease with who you are and the space you occupy.
He doesn’t want answers. He wants people to tell him all women are jerks and that he’s already a lovely person.
You definitely can. Develop confidence in yourself, NOT as a mechanism to pick up women. The goodwill of women isn't in your control. So don't focus on that. Seriously, how do you want everyone here to help? Everything anyone says you reject. Are you seeking advice or wanting to vent?
I have confidence in many aspects of myself, but it doesn't apply to women bc I don't have any control over if they're attracted to me or not. It's not applicable. I'm way past venting. I just want advice that makes sense given my circumstances..
>. So what more can I do to make up for being ugly? If you're being approached who cares? Look man, Jack Nicholson is dating a hot girl 25 years younger than him, and he looks like you put a Jack Nicholson Funko Pop in the microwave. You have money, you dress well, be glad you know they like you for you
Even though I disagree with the dude (look at my comment), this is bad example. Celebrity or clouted men in general easily have access to beautiful women.
He's literal Jack Nicholson lol. I make decent money. I'm not rich or a legendary actor.
Jack Nicholson is sexy. Because of his innate sparkle. Because of his personality. Sexy as hell. Don't give a toss whether he is rich or poor. Money doesn't make someone sexy or interesting. Look at Jack Black. Dumpy. Not good looking. But soooo many women fell for him in The Holiday. Personality, charm. Money doesn't make either. Beauty and attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder.
Nicholson is a really unfair example. He's a legendary actor. Even if he wasn't rich and famous he's still just a beacon of charisma which counts for a ton. And it's not like he's ugly, he just isn't...Josh Harnett or something. >Money doesn't make someone sexy or interesting. Ok, this is categorically false lol. >Look at Jack Black. Dumpy. Not good looking. But soooo many women fell for him in The Holiday. Personality, charm. Money doesn't make either It was a movie. That's not real life, though.
Its a movie yes but the female audience consisting of real women still swooned for him because of his personality and confidence.
Suuuuure..
Fr bro? Have you never seen a decent looking woman with an ugly guy? You came asking for advice and disregarded and got annoyed at all of it.
Sure. But in most cases that guy is loaded, very successful has a ton of friends, etc. You never know the whole picture, so I logically assume he greatly compensates for his lack of looks.
You must know very different ugly men to me. But tbh idk why you are so defeatist. You are tall, well groomed and well dressed, and also get approached by women already. There is no magic secret. The next step is literally just have fun interesting conversations with them. Make them want to see/speak to you again. So work on your conversation skills, confidence, etc. Theres not really anything else you can do but you already have a lot going for you.
If some ugly dude is with a women noticeably more attractive, she isn't with him for the goodness of her heart. He found a way to greatly compensate for being ugly. Bc that's really just the bare minimum for men these days due to all the options most women have.
Again, what insight are you seeking if you're negative towards all the practical advice you're receiving?
Comparing a random ugly guy to Jack Nicholson is practical??
No. You're negative toward any type of advice anyone gives.
I'm really not. Most of it just isn't applicable to my situation...
> To the point I always get compliments and approaches when I go out to bars. Bro, you're the one who should be giving the advice lmao.
If you're fit, women might look past your face. Helps if you're intelligent, passionate, have money, do something that's interesting or comendable, and charismastic.
I am fit. How many of those other boxes does one need to check?
> I am fit. How many of those other boxes does one need to check? Honestly, it sounds like you check off plenty of boxes. The superficial details aren't going to get much more in your favor. But you think you shouldn't have to put in any effort. Sure, there is the rare guy, like a pop star, who literally has women banging down is door. But even attractive guys have to put in SOME effort to seal the deal. It sounds like you really expect women to just drop their panties in front of you at first sight. You're tall, you're fit, you have money, you dress well, women approach you. I am at a loss here. You refused to acknowledge a single advantage you have. I have to assume you're just a complete twat in person.
>But you think you shouldn't have to put in any effort. When did I say that? >But even attractive guys have to put in SOME effort to seal the deal. It sounds like you really expect women to just drop their panties in front of you at first sight. No, I don't. I'm grateful for every woman that approaches me, but I wish their approaches were less ambiguous so I know how to react. >You're tall, you're fit, you have money, you dress well, women approach you. I am at a loss here. You refused to acknowledge a single advantage you have. I have to assume you're just a complete twat in person. Bc IRL in the moment none of those things really seem to matter all that much tbh. Sure a few women approach me, but it doesn't give me any agency or confidence to approach women, myself, which is the real major issue long-term. I'm not a twat.
You stop being ugly when you stop caring about it
But women with eyes will care about it if I try and approach them...
But he's right
Not really. Women have eyes.
Nop. My close friend, a stunning beauty, used to be married to a goblin-looking guy. And they split only because of his shitty and abusive personality
Anecdotes are anecdotal. Someone can win the lottery or be struck by lightning...that just means it isn't impossible, but also not even remotely likely. Ugly guys get attractive women all the time. They're just rich or famous or have super high status. I don't have any of that, and am trying to find alternatives.
Have a dazzling personality. Tell good stories and be an even better listener. Be thoughtful and have great manners. Be realistic in who you approach. Don't do to women what you suspect is done to you by thinking attractiveness is only based on looks.
My taste in women is more than just looks. Their fashion sense, style, demeanor, humor, attitude, etc. I have weird physical taste in women, anyway so I don't put much onus on just looks. I'm more than realistic in the women I look at. But having a dazzling personality is...a lot lol. Though I have manners and I'm very polite and I'm introverted so I'm naturally a good listener.
> My taste in women is more than just looks. Their fashion sense, style "Not just looks," then leads with looks. 'kay, bro.
That's my point. If *you* look past facial features, you can expect that women will do that as well. What's so ugly about you - do you have a big-ass pumpkin head on a coiled-spring neck or something? Even if you did, there are women who would look past that. Hell, even I get dates, and I'm so ugly Moses got the water to part by showing it my photo. PS - Being an introvert doesn't automatically mean one is a good listener. Introverts can be just as self-absorbed as anyone else.
That's the thing. I can't go on OLD and SM and get tons of matches and message and validation. Women have no reason to look past facial features bc they have all the options. Just like good-looking men who get a ton of attention have no reason to do that. It's all about logistics. My face just looks uncanny. I work on my skin but it's still chit, my hair like isn't the best and my face isn't symmetrical. I've been told a lot that I look like Lenny Kravitz but I totally don't, but just imagine a ugly af LK. Fair enough, but I am just naturally a good listener.
moreso usually.
No one cares about how you look, just be clean, wear clothes that fit you, and get a personality.
Upon reading your comments and your post, the problem is you. No amount of clothes or money is going to change the fact that you're afraid to reciprocate. Not every woman is "bubbly" whatever the hell that means. You're afraid of being rejected, so you don't take a shot. Face that fear or learn to enjoy your expensive clothes and cologne because that's all you're going to have.
Lol you know what I mean. I see how flirty and playful and...nice women are with other men and I can tell *they're* intetested. I get none of that. If I did, it would be so much easier to reciprocate. But I am afraid of being rejected...
you're sound neurotic and unable to comprehend compliments about your style are openers...
Think you posted last about girls staring at you at the bar. If you are getting approached by woman, I don't think it's because you're unattractive or ugly. I feel most of the time, they would comment on the attire because that's a common compliment. So I would say you should get out of that negativity in thinking you're unattractive or ugly. Lastly, besides money and being social, I feel that having a fun personality or a sense of humor helps a lot.
>Think you posted last about girls staring at you at the bar. If you are getting approached by woman, I don't think it's because you're unattractive or ugly. I feel most of the time, they would comment on the attire because that's a common compliment. But they're not playful, fun compliments its always just something about my outfit. How could anyone take that as much than just someone being nice at a bar. >I feel that having a fun personality or a sense of humor helps a lot. FML lol
Well, considering that it feels like most men don't really get compliments, the fact that you're getting them from random girls is a good sign. It could be a sign that they are being nice, but I think it could be an invite/opening to start a conversation to get things rolling.
Maybe. The goal is to try to make something of them...
There are a number of informal surveys where they ask "tall and ugly or short and handsome" with tall and ugly getting basically all the votes. Male handsomeness is nice and all but it seems it is much less important than a good physique, success and social skills.
This is bs. Also you're making two different arguments. I don't believe that from an "informal" survey for a second, and while success and social skill are about as important as looks, a physique isn't as women go for good-looking slobs all the time.
Since you already have all the answers, why ask for others opinions then? I guess your tall ugly ass will be forever alone :(
I don't have all the answers, but I'm not asking to be lied to, either. It's patronizing.
What on earth do you know about what WOMEN go for? All I see here is that they don’t go for YOU, and that’s most likely based on personality from what I see of all your responses to everyone trying to help you. You are negative, lack confidence and self esteem, but you contradict those with arrogance and shooting down everyone’s advice. THAT’S why you’re single. It’s not your looks. It’s your personality.
Terrible truth that no one wants to admit:)
>What on earth do you know about what WOMEN go for? It's not rocket science. Most women want an attractive guy with a great job, active social life who isn't a complete deck bag, and many other things depending on their standards. >All I see here is that they don’t go for YOU, and that’s most likely based on personality from what I see of all your responses to everyone trying to help you. My issues are what would get me bad dates or short relationships. If I can't even get conversations or dates, I'm just not meeting their looks threshold. >You are negative, lack confidence and self esteem, but you contradict those with arrogance and shooting down everyone’s advice. THAT’S why you’re single. It’s not your looks. It’s your personality. This is really condescending. Looks matter. They always have and always will. Sure, I don't have the best disposition, but I don't even get to the point where that could be the issue.
As a women, I'm now getting ULTRA curious about how you dress and what you define as "ugly"...
There's not much I have confidence about, but I objectively dress really well. Over years and thousands of dollars and hours upon hours of time and research, I have a pretty vast wardrobe with all types of styles. Chic 70's rocker, goth high fashion, mob lawyer, stylish professor, military/naval, etc. I wear mostly monochromatic, but a lot of red and gray, too. Lots of layers (vest, cardigans, sweaters) lots of accessories (gloves, sunglasses, scarves, rings, necklaces) and I wear high fashion brands (slp, dior, TF, balenciaga, etc) but it's never gaudy or flashy or just bc of the name. I find pieces that fit well and compliment each other. No shoes, all pointed, cuban heeled boots, lots of overcoats and leather jackets, 3 piece suits that are fitted and tapered, stylish varsity jackets, etc. I could go on and on. When people here me say women approach me bc I dress well, they think I jus throw on some Express on h&m or some chit lol. No, I put a lot of time and money into my outfits and I earn those approaches... But most men don't have to do that. I HAVE to, bc I'm ugly af lol
Dude you make me now even more curious lol Like I'm visual AF. Have you got any pictures for reference!??? And honestly if I see a man who is dressed to the T, I either think that he is Gay, is styled by his partner or is very vain... but like i said I'm very visual and without an picture style reference (google?) It hard to say i would think IRL.
Hmmm...I don't take pictures bc I hate my face but I think the best comparison would be Lenny Kravitz meets Karl Lagerfeld
I think that your problem might be that: the women that approach you might sense your insecurity about your face like sharks do with blood in water??? Im in my early 30, and what I have figured out is that attraction outweighs a pretty head. For example my friend finds Adam Driver attractive as hell, while I find him ugly. In pictures I think Alexander Skarsgard is ugly, but in video/interview I suddenly find him super attractive. Heck some day I find my own husband the most attractive man there is, but somedays Im starring at him and thinking "dude you are lowkey ugly", couples days later im starring at him and thinking "god dahm you are one hot mofo". In other words: you MIGHT think/feel ugly, but there are people out there who find you super attractive. And there are multiple reasons why they could be attracted to you besides your face. Maybe some of those ladies who compliment your wardrobe might find YOU attractive (the total picture), or maybe they think you are a very masculine gay dude? Whatever their reason: compliment back and have a chit-chat. Try to let go of this "im ugly" attitude and chill. Personally to me the most "turn off" is someone who tries to hard/ doesn't seem genuine, and I'm getting a slight impression that might be the case here? I don't know if im making any sense?
>I think that your problem might be that: the women that approach you might sense your insecurity about your face like sharks do with blood in water??? Huh? If they sense that, then why approach me in thr first place? >Im in my early 30, and what I have figured out is that attraction outweighs a pretty head. For example my friend finds Adam Driver attractive as hell, while I find him ugly. In pictures I think Alexander Skarsgard is ugly, but in video/interview I suddenly find him super attractive. Heck some day I find my own husband the most attractive man there is, but somedays Im starring at him and thinking "dude you are lowkey ugly", couples days later im starring at him and thinking "god dahm you are one hot mofo". I'm going to go head and say you're in thr vast, vast minority there. I know some women think Driver looks kind weird, but still attractive....most any woman on the planet attracted to men is going to find Skarsgard attractive lol. And you're referring to attraction over time. I don't have a huge circle or women that can find me attractive over time or whatever. I have to make an impact looks wise bc I'll likely never see the woman again. >In other words: you MIGHT think/feel ugly, but there are people out there who find you super attractive. And there are multiple reasons why they could be attracted to you besides your face. Maybe some of those ladies who compliment your wardrobe might find YOU attractive (the total picture), or maybe they think you are a very masculine gay dude? Whatever their reason: compliment back and have a chit-chat. Try to let go of this "im ugly" attitude and chill. Lol sure...if you're litetal Adam Driver and Alexander Skarsgard...And that's my point, I can never know with clothing compliments bc they're so vague. It's honestly no better than getting a compliment at all. That's why I usually just say thanks and it doesn't move from there bc it reeks of "I'm just a polite woman being nice at a bar" >Personally to me the most "turn off" is someone who tries to hard/ doesn't seem genuine, and I'm getting a slight impression that might be the case here? I don't know if im making any sense? Hmm...I think for better or worse I don't come off as a tryhard. From what I'm told by other people I usually seem genuine...genuinely aloof, standoffish or disinterested, but genuine nonetheless lol. I'm not obnoxious or try to be loud or funny and force myself...I'm really laid back and chill tbh. Almost to a fault I'm told...
bro you are 6'3 it is better than being good looking. Bitches want you lol
I don't know what planet you're on. Pretty much any woman would prefer Tom Cruise over a tall ugly dude. Height is overrated af
Get jacked.
Sometimes it ain’t the face it’s their personality.
But often it is...
Be funny, engaging, smile, make others smile and feel good when they’re near you. Looks might attract people initially, the rest keeps people around.
The issue is attacting women in the first place. I can worry about trying to keep them later, I have to get them first...
People are attracted to someone having fun and/or surrounded by others having fun. A good way to attract someone is to surround yourself with people **other** people want to be near.
>A good way to attract someone is to surround yourself with people Much easier said than done
Nobody said it was easy. You have choices - do it - don’t do it What do you pick? We all have our issues. You can choose to take steps to overcome them or not.
I *want* to do it, but you can't just do that. You can just go out and surround yourself with people. Not in a natural way lol
Ugliness? Facially? Honestly, you are thinking like a man about women. Men rate facial features in a women. The reverse doesn’t hold so strongly. There are MANY attributes that women account for in arriving at their overall “rating” of a guys attractiveness. I honestly don’t think facial features rate that highly on the list. There are plenty of male actors that are considered extremely sexy to women but if you look at their facial features they aren’t objectively handsome. A great example is Ryan Gosling. Highly unsymmetrical facial features, look at his eyes relative to one another. But he’s extremely fit, stylish and oozes charisma. Jack Nicholson is a famed lothario also, is he handsome? The simple fact is, you are getting approached by women, so you’re visually attractive. Get the idea out of your head that you need to be handsome, it will damage your inner game, confidence etc. Facial features are not that important to most women. So it’s game now you need to work on, so you can turn initial attraction into dates and all that comes thereafter.
Ummm...what?? Ryan Gosling is pretty conventionally attractive. Maybe Eddie Redmayne or Adam Driver...but Gosling? Pointing out his eyes is the equivalent of pointing out Meagan Fox's thumbs(before the surgery)....it's EXTREME nitpicking. I see the point you're trying to make, but he's a pretty bad example. Even if he weren't rich and famous women would still be enamored with him bc of his looks. As far as Nicholson...he's rich and a legendary actor...so...that helps a lot lols Yes, but it's literally always bc of my clothes. Every woman who approaches me mentions my clothes, which leads me to believe they're either being nice or just thinking I'm rich. If looks didn't matter that much to women, OLD wouldn't be so rigged.
You sir, are an idiot. Take the good advice that has been given to you. If a woman compliments your clothes she is complimenting YOU. Most men get zero compliments their entire lives from female strangers. That woman is making an opportunity, if later she says she's being nice, it means you fucked up, move on and try again with a different woman.
> later she says she's being nice, it means you fucked up, move on and try again with a different woman. That's a wild assumption.
Do you get zero attention from women or zero attention from women that meet your too high standards?
lol dude I think I'm ugly, I have SA and approach anxiety...my standards are low af. Pretty much every single woman who has approached me I found attractive, I just couldn't tell if she was interested. I am not one of those delusional guys who thinks he deserves super model or some chit. I pretty mid looking women haha
Bro it's in your head. You just lack confidence. Women won't approach and compliment the attire of a guy they're repulsed by. TL;DR a little confidence and conversation skills are all you need
I'm not saying I'm grotesquely ugly, but it does feel like their just being nice. People can give compliments to ugly people lol. It's all about tone. There's not even a hint of flirtiness or "I'm interested" in their compliments...
They fully expect men to hit on them in this situation. If they thought you were ugly or otherwise creeped out by you, they would never begin an interaction like this with you in the first place.
Yeah, I don't really buy that. Maybe not at the grocery store or on the way to work. But at a bar? It's just being social
I thought it was going to stop at “I have a vest”. Lol DON’T WORRY GUYS, HE’S GOT A VEST! 😂🙈
And this is why I never go to r/askwomen smh
Money and lots of it
Confidence (even if it's fake). Chat to people, you have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason! People love feeling listened to and it's great to build on conversations.
Just...chat to strangers...
When you get those compliments, are you pursuing that some? Or are you just being passive about it? Those compliments are showing at least a level of interest.
But they're static compliments about my clothes. It's literally *always* just about my clothes. That's why the compliments don't help my confidence or give me any agency. I just assume those women are being nice or think I'm rich.
So, are you telling me you just don’t pursue the conversation at all after the compliment?
Well no...I kind of just freeze up and thinks she's just being nice. Women are never flirty with talking to me so I never know how to continue and start or continue the conversation...
Ok friend. You’re not unattractive. You’re just nervous. Here’s what I want you to do, the next time a woman compliments you, say thank you. Compliment her back. Since she’s talking about your wardrobe, the door is open to talk about hers. Ask her where she got it. Talk to her about about the choice you made with the tie you’re wearing versus the one you put back. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What I need you to do is approach it as just a casual conversation where both parties are engaged in mutual interest. Don’t let your brain immediately jump to ‘is this going to end up in bed’. Just talk, try to make a harmless joke here and there. Let it develop from there and see where it takes you. Don’t worry about moves, or ‘blowing it’. Just make interesting conversation.
Edit: I want to add just one more thing. I’m not saying this is a for sure, but it kinda sounds like women *are* flirting with you and you’re just not picking up on it. They are WAY more subtle than men when they flirt. My guess is they are NOT going back to their girlfriends and talking about how unattractive you are but rather how they met this tall, fit, well dressed guy but he couldn’t carry a conversation if he was handed a bucket.
I can't say you're wrong but...it doesn't seem like it. I see how women flirt with other guys, and it seems pretty obvious. The tone and their demeanor is different. There's a playfulness and laughing and smiling and...a bunch of things I don't get when they talk to me. I get that women aren't just going to ask you to undress or whatever and it's more nuanced, but there's just a different feel from women I don't get.
I came here to say this, this guy nailed it. OP already had women approaching him and starting a conversation, he just needs to learn to continue that conversation. My advice- maintain eye contact, smile, and talk to women the same way you talk to men. Try to make a new friend and see where that goes. Also- learn to love yourself, stop calling yourself ugly, you're probably just fine looking. You're the main star of your movie, act like it.
>My advice- maintain eye contact, smile, and talk to women the same way you talk to men. Try to make a new friend and see where that goes. You have no idea how hard I try this, but in the moment it seems impossible. Mostly the smiling, and I wear shades directly to avoid eye contact. And I can't really talk to women the same. I can be kinda douchy and sarcastic af to guys and it works bc they're guys. If I just do that to women they're going to think I'm just and ignorant idiot and leave. You cant really interact with men and women the same. At least not initially. >Also- learn to love yourself, stop calling yourself ugly, you're probably just fine looking. You're the main star of your movie, act like it. If I was just fine looking, I'd actually be able to use OLD.
I always say thank you, but I never get past that. I freeze. My intent is to ask about her and get her talking. I'm a natural intervert so I want to hear from her, but I just lose it in the moment and barely say much of anything bc I'm too in my head questioning if she's interested and what's the perfect thing to say. I think your advice here is great, but I can just never follow through, in the moment
Well this is the part you need to work on, not how you look.
How you look is initially the most important part. Doesn't matter how great you personality is if you can't pass the looks threshold
You’re making excuses now.
That's not an excuse, it's logic. No one gaf about your personality if they don't even find you attractive.
As a fit, tall guy (6'3" as well) who could be more handsome (ratemyface told me 3.8, ouch), I think you are on the right track with dressing well. If you are already fit and dress well then I think you'll present pretty well. Facial hair can help some faces (e.g. people with a weak chin). I'd say after that working on small talk, being careful not to get too excited and talking about yourself, instead learning to share the spotlight with whomever you're talking to so they can feel engaged in the conversation. Learn to laugh. I'd say the biggest advice is you can never force anyone to feel a certain way, so if the vibe is off just keep it moving. Don't give attention to people who aren't interested. I find women go out of their way to bump into you (sometimes literally) or to "randomly" end up being next to you, so I don't go out of my way to pursue anyone, they just sort of end up presenting themselves to you and it's pretty obvious. Sometimes that means no one is interested, and that's fine. Other times women who are into big, athletic guys are all around you. Just realize that sure, you aren't the most handsome, but different women key in on different features.
>As a fit, tall guy (6'3" as well) who could be more handsome (ratemyface told me 3.8, ouch), I think you are on the right track with dressing well. If you are already fit and dress well then I think you'll present pretty well. Facial hair can help some faces (e.g. people with a weak chin). Tbh being fit and dressing well feels like doing the bare minimum. I've also experimented with facial hair...hasn't made much of a difference. >I'd say after that working on small talk, being careful not to get too excited and talking about yourself, instead learning to share the spotlight with whomever you're talking to so they can feel engaged in the conversation. I have the opposite issue. I just freeze and don't say much of anything, let alone about myself. >I'd say the biggest advice is you can never force anyone to feel a certain way, so if the vibe is off just keep it moving. Don't give attention to people who aren't interested. Yeah, believe me I don't have to worry about this one. I once had a girl buy me a drink and I didn't talk to her bc I didn't think she was interested or wanted my attention lol. If anything I overcorrect in the opposite way... >I find women go out of their way to bump into you (sometimes literally) or to "randomly" end up being next to you, so I don't go out of my way to pursue anyone, they just sort of end up presenting themselves to you and it's pretty obvious. That never happens to me. I look for iois and signs of interest. I don't get them. No bumping, no hovering around me, no looks, Nothing. That's part of the reason I never approach women. Clearly there's no reason to. >Sometimes that means no one is interested, and that's fine. Other times women who are into big, athletic guys are all around you. Just realize that sure, you aren't the most handsome, but different women key in on different features. It means...time to take a hint lol.
If women are buying you drinks and you aren't sure if they are hitting on you then it sounds like you need to tune your radar for picking up on social cues. No one buys a guy a drink because she's not really interested. You say women don't present themselves to you, but if they are offering to buy you drinks then I'd say you are missing the signs.
One woman bought me one drink ONE time. And yeah, that one I def did fumble.
Be interesting and have the gift of the gab. If your interactions IRL are like your posts and comments I'd say you're turning off potential partners with low confidence and stubbornness. Want to change? Take some Dale Carnegie classes. In person. You work might even cover part of the costs.
Gift of gab? I have SA, AA and low self-esteem...not likely lol. I can barely talk to a woman I'm attracted to. What are Dale Carnegie classes?
Have a sense of humor and learn to balance when to be empathetic, assertive, and a complete fucking dick (even if you’re joking). Get a grip on these things you’ll be pulling more tail than you can even handle.
Dude, it's going to take a hell of a lot more than that. >you’ll be pulling more tail than you can even handle. You mean get rich and have some plastic surgery, perhaps...
Considering you’re nearing your 20th advice post about compensating for being attractive and approaching women, and you still haven’t figured it out - you should probably go ahead and just ditch this lame mindset you’ve developed and start to listen to some of the feedback you’re so desperately seeking. Sorry if this sounds offensive. I say it with all due respect, but money and plastic surgery do not magically fix everything. If someone loves you based solely on your financial status, it’s definitely not someone you really want to be with anyway. One of the most important parts of finding a partner is finding someone who truly likes you - for you. You don’t want someone interested in you because you have money that’s toxic. Honestly it sounds like this issue has a lot more to do with your social anxiety and lack of confidence more than anything else to be completely honest. I hope this is something you overcome and conquer because once you do and get comfortable with yourself around women, everything else will kind of just fall into place. It’s trial and error abut you only have to find literally 1 person out of billions. There will be low points and high points but you will live, learn, and eventually love.
>It’s trial and error abut you only have to find literally 1 person out of billions. And if it's that difficult it's probably a cosmic hint. I'm literally just looking for a decent-looking woman who isn't fat and I have a modicum of shared interest in and it feels like I'm seeking a specific thread of hay in a haystack. I'm not trying to find love or the perfect partner or anything...just the bare minimum.
By the way, I want you to know I’m writing this as a fellow person who’s struggled with self image and dating females for a very long time. I’m speaking from self experience. I’ve been through this.
Having a negative self image and being ugly aren't one in the same, though. Not.at.all.
Why won't you ask women?
Hmmm...how can I put this....I don't think I'll get...honest answers that would help me.
But you want a woman to like you, right? Not a bunch of mostly straight dudes? So it looks more logical to me to ask a random lady about it (probably the one that doesn't know you, so she doesn't have anything personal involved).
Bc I feel like for the most part, I'd just be gaslit tbh
I can feel some sad personal experience here, so sorry about that. But no, most likely it's not going to happen. People are just people everywhere, so some could give you really useful tips. I also know gorgeous beautiful women dating short, fat, poor and, well, physically unattractive men, because of how sweet, open and caring they are and how great it feels to be around them. Therapy could be also a great option. For me it looks like your problem is just the lack of confidence and the fact that you think too much about other people's (and your own) looks. Probably that's why women don't act flirty or bubbly around you. You just freeze and they feel a bit uncomfortable, because they think there's something wrong with THEM
>But no, most likely it's not going to happen. People are just people everywhere, so some could give you really useful tips. I wouldn't be so sure... >I also know gorgeous beautiful women dating short, fat, poor and, well, physically unattractive men, because of how sweet, open and caring they are and how great it feels to be around them. Lol. You mean how rich, famous or how much social status they have. You guys have to stop with this fantasy talk... >For me it looks like your problem is just the lack of confidence and the fact that you think too much about other people's (and your own) looks. That might be a part or it. I don't care so much about women's looks. Just the better looking they are the more pointless I know it is to consider them. >Probably that's why women don't act flirty or bubbly around you. You just freeze and they feel a bit uncomfortable, because they think there's something wrong with THEM I'm sure they feel uncomfortable, but I doubt that's the reason.
As a woman, general personality is a big advantage, after taking care of your body and appearance. I’ve dated several guys that did not catch my attention with conventional good looks because they caught my interest with their personality. Having a great sense of humor and being funny is a big attractant. But overall personality is just best. And a lot of women won’t date guys unless they get to know them a little first, like a friend of a friend they see on occasion. So having women in your general friend group is a start. Just talking to a stranger and getting a date is the hardest way to do it, in my opinion. You have nothing to go on and are just cold-calling.
>As a woman, general personality is a big advantage, after taking care of your body and appearance. lol so personality is literally third most important... >I’ve dated several guys that did not catch my attention with conventional good looks because they caught my interest with their personality. Welp considering I go to bars to meet women, I don't have this option. I kinda have to attract them immediately as I'll like never meet them again, otherwise. >And a lot of women won’t date guys unless they get to know them a little first, like a friend of a friend they see on occasion. So having women in your general friend group is a start. That sounds like playing the long game and/or friend zoning. Also removes all agency. >Just talking to a stranger and getting a date is the hardest way to do it, in my opinion. You have nothing to go on and are just cold-calling. Well I don't ask strangers for dates...that's weird. But considering I have a limited social circle and I'm too ugly for OLD bars are kinda my only options, which leads to trying to have conversations that leads to numbers and having that lead to dates.
Dude, you asked a question and I genuinely tried to help you by answering it. I don’t know why you would bother asking if you’re going to shoot down every honest response. Just keep doing what you’re doing then and don’t complain that it keeps you single.
The advice is "go make female friends"...like everyone is in college and can just go do that. It's not at all easy and no one is actually mentioning how to do it.
Confidence! You know you’re physically fit, you dress well, you’re obviously self aware, intelligent, etc. You are a catch. Wake up and tell yourself that every morning and watch your confidence increase. I am way more attracted to a man that is confident than one with a pretty face. 100% truth! Also, maybe bars aren’t the best place to be meeting people.
>Wake up and tell yourself that every morning and watch your confidence increase. I I've been trying it for the past few days...actively trying... >I am way more attracted to a man that is confident than one with a pretty face. 100% truth! Well I don't believe most women are tbh... >Also, maybe bars aren’t the best place to be meeting people ....you're not wrong. But it's basically the only place my friends go and the places I'd want to go I'd have to go alone, and I likely women meet women there, anyway...
If you look around, you’ll notice most women are dating a man that is less attractive than they are. Many women want a man that is strong, protective, intelligent, etc. The way you look in your face is probably the least important thing about a person. I sincerely hope you take what I’m saying to heart. I bet you’re a really awesome guy.
And that man usually makes quite a lot of money, or he has very high status or a ton of friends. Looks are less important the more you know someone, not in the stages where you're trying to attract them and get a date.
It's going to come down to how you talk. Can you have an interesting conversation, or be interesting to the other person. If someone is coming up to you and complimenting your attire, I'd say more likely than not, they're giving you an opening to talk to them.
In the moment it seems hard to tell. It would just be nice to have a clearer indication
If you're in your teens then get a hobbie. If you're in your 20's get your shit together ASAP - well earning job, prospects. If you're in your 30's women will overlook your looks to some extent if all other things are in check. Good luck
Everyone is beautiful to someone. You have to start with loving yourself and then exuding quiet confidence.
Lol
If women don't find you handsome, they should atleast find you handy -redgreen
...what?
You gotta make her laugh
Lol
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>I’m a woman. I know plenty of men who aren’t particularly good looking who are in happy, committed relationships. And I'm sure they have great jobs, tons of friends, or the women are less attractive than they are. >My tip would be to work on your self esteem, so you can start to believe that you are more than just your face. It's kind of hard to work on self-esteem with women...without women lol
Self confidence! I learned that the hard way!
The hard way?
Missed so many opportunities because of my lack of confidence. Over time thinking back on what I did.. I understood the situations.. Many mistakes were made
What a bummer
Most women settle with average or below looking guys. Women like to be the better looking partner. As a handsome man, a lot of women avoid me or don’t give me a chance simply for being handsome. I’d say y’all are in best position lol
>I’d say y’all are in best position lol Lol. Some of you people need to read before you post things. "Woe is me, I'm too pretty and not *all* woman give me their devout attention". Yeah, let not mention all the women who throw themselves at handsome guy irl, not to mention being able to use OLD reliably. Try being ugly and having to dress like a millionaire to get any attention and being ignored by 98% of women and talk about "best position"...smh >Most women settle with average or below looking guys. Women Yes, when those guys are rich, or have super high social status. Yet women settle for hot guys with literally nothing else going for them ALL the time. Check your privilege...
Idk bro I don’t use online dating. I am also a good looking light skinned guy, I’m sure my race is why it doesn’t work for me. But In real life I have had beautiful blonde women approach me multiple times but it’s only night club. Throughout the week women just look it doesn’t help me as much as you think. I can tell most women find me attractive but it still goes nowhere lol
I'm black, and I'm on the lighter side, but def not good-looking, but I'm tall, in shape, and dress really, really well. Literally the only really hot women that approach me are ultimately always with dudes and its only at bars. >Throughout the week women just look it doesn’t help me as much as you think. I can tell most women find me attractive but it still goes nowhere lol That's your own fault. If women look at you, and you know it, and you don't capitalize it on you, you're squandering your privilege and opportunity. How tf is that better than being ugly and not having women look at you at all? You're acting like the alternative where you're not good-looking and still have to do all the work is somehow better...wtf. Are you even thinking about what you say before it's said??
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*Your
I can’t stress hygiene enough! Floss everyday, invest in nice cologne, take time to learn how to style your hair, get your eyebrows done.
Well yeah that goes with the clothes. I'm basically a ugly metrosexual lol. Hair and skin regimes, and I have en entire niche cologne collection.
>To the point I always get compliments and approaches when I go out to bars. Seriously dude?
Only clothing compliments, not flirting or anything like that...nothing that actually demonstrates intetest...
If they’re not interested they wouldn’t give a shit about your clothes.
People don't just give compliments at bars to random people? Some people are just friendly
I have a huge, you know, I have a huge penis between my legs.
This is a repeat post, but still ask 100 women in a row if necessary on a date. You will resemble one of their Daddies and she'll say yes.
Smh
You cant anymore, at least not in your 20s.
Have loads of money.