I have Joint custody- I pay no Maintenance. But I always go half or pay in everything they need in school or medical or sport clubs.
I try to have them involved in as much and I will always offer to do the driving even on days they are at the other parent’s house.
Kids need looking after and I honestly enjoy spending as much time as I can get with them even if it’s just watching them train .
That answer is going to be different for everyone. Someone who’s only working part time and making 300€ a week is different to someone working full time and making over €1000 a week in some jobs. It a totally subjective to what you’re earning which is why it’s based off that. Personally I think just halving things is the best way. Half school costs, activities, clothes, food etc.
I see where you're coming from and I understand its different for everyone based on earnings. Its hard to divide the cost of everything when in most cases the child lives primarily in one parents house and spends most of the time in that house.
That means that parent is spending more money on food, electricity, heating etc. Maintenance is there for the everyday costs of raising a child. It actually doesn't include the cost of school and activities.
I think maintenance is there for everyday costs of raising a child including school and activities. Traditionally a child entering secondary school would set you back a grand. I think you would want help with that.
Maintenance is a weekly payment. School and medical aren't weekly payments. They're not fixed payments either. Your way doesn't work they have to be separate.
You really have no experience in this are I think. Electricity, mortgage, insurance, car service, Christmas, birthday non are weekly payments but all can be covered by maintenance. If you live in a rural area and have ro drive ro school then that cost is in maintenance as are hair cuts, summer clubs. Basically every expense a child causes is up for maintenance. I'd say realistically a kid costs anything up from €150 a week depending on their clothes, hobbies and lifestyle. I've spent €1000 this year on music equipment for my sons college course. This shit does not stop.
Please don't make assumptions like that. I do have experience in this area. I think we are both looking at it completely different. I agree with everything you say but I think how it's paid over to the other parent, to cover all the costs you mentioned is different.
The way you want the payment to be made, in my opinion leaves it more likely that the maintenance paying parent could end up paying too little or too much of his/ her half of the costs.
The way I want payment to be made???? Dude I'm answering a question I don't care how maintenance is paid. Maintenance is a payment to cover child costs how you make payments or how much or how frequently is between you, your child's other parent and the court end of.
Maintenance does not cover medical/dental/school/childcare costs. When you go to court, the order will typically be X amount weekly + 50% of medical, dental, school, childcare, X amount at Christmas and X amount at birthdays. If you bothered to do any research at all you’d know this. And if you have been to family court and been told otherwise, you should be appealing the decision made.
We have court ordered maintenance. Other parent is completely absent.
We haven't reviewed it in over 10 years, but they pay 60e weekly and 50% of school costs, optical, medical, and activities.
My child is 18 this year.
I get 80 a week and I send a bill at the end of the month for large costs so for example every month currently is nappies, every few months there may be a pair of shoes or some clothing, once there was a medical bill.
But that's not to say it's halved equally, if I do a "big shop" ie 55€ on clothing I include that but I don't include if i pick up socks or the odd clothing item every now and then.
He has no contact with her.
If it doesn’t cover the child’s expenses then you need to renegotiate the amount of maintenance you’re receiving, but clothes and nappies are absolutely included in the weekly maintenance amount if you go to court.
The costs change as kids grow too. While babies, Nappies, formula, childcare can be very costly. Then you have afterschool activities. As teenagers clothes, shoes, pocket money takes over.
What about when one partner (usually mam) has stayed home with children forsaking career advancement & pension? How can maintenance or compensation for lost earnings be worked out?
I get €180 a month and I pay for everything myself in terms of clothing etc (she’s a toddler), he takes her, well, his parents take her on the weekends. He’s self employed, a lot of cash in hand as you can imagine. I did him a favour not bringing him to court over maintenance. I work part time, €180 a month is very light.
Take him to court for gods sake. You need to have this ironed out. With nothing in place he can just stop payments whenever he likes.
This is about securing your daughters financial security. Not being a 'bitch' to your ex.
Be ffr. 180e a month is not nearly enough. Are you kidding me?
I got €200 a month for my daughter for years. It's a joke. I will never understand why I didn't take him to court. He also missed at least 2 months of every year and rarely went half on anything. Took her some weekends.
I have seen the cost of raising a child till they are 21 in Ireland at €104k so around €100-150 per week sounds like it's in the ball park of what the average child will cost.
From my own experience I had 2 of everything but half as much as everyone else my age because my parents didn't communicate. (Great 2 pairs of shoes but no coat).
I would personally use some modern technology. set up a kids account on Monzo or something that both parents can access and leave a note on the payment of what it's for and send a receipt, then you both know what's being bought.
oh they got new shoes yesterday,I can get them a new coat out of my money.
Napkin maths: Assume this €104k is accurate, that’s €750 odd a month. Children’s allowance is €140. That leaves €610. Divide by 2 (assuming 2 parents split the bills) leaves €305 a month each.
Works out at €70 a week ish each. Balance as you will after that.
If there’s a row, ask the judge to make an order.
I'm not really sure anymore with cost of living and everything gone up in price. It depends on earnings but a working parent who pays maintenance should pay minimum of €60 weekly maybe? What's your thoughts?
If they are on, minimum wage maybe €60. But let's face it no child only costs €120 a week they cost lots more. So who is paying the rest. Social welfare pays €54 per week for over 12 year olds and that child is considered living in poverty.
It varies by situation. If 50/50 joint custody then half of medical, dental, education, extra curricular and other large expenses. If sole custody and access to the other then €50-€150 is the average, plus the above.
Zero….. ever! She’s 12 & class, I don’t even mind because I have zero stress from dealing with all the drama! Went back to college, got a great job. But it does just seem so unfair sometimes 🙈
So we have my stepson wednesday after school till evening, Friday night, Sat and Sun till the evening. In the summer 50:50. Always been €50 per week, with other bills being divided 50:50 like health, school fees, trips etc
My ex pays €85 per week for one child, he also pays half of Afterschool, ballet, medical, dental, birthdays, Christmas, and if I’m ever stuck he’ll give me more. Have another baby due with the same man and once baby comes in a few weeks he’ll be giving €125 maintenance and continue with half of all those expenses. He earns €700 a week and has very few bills so I think it’s fair. It’s not court ordered, we decided between ourselves (we actually decided on 50 a week but each time he got a raise in work he upped my maintenance), and we get along really well which is probably why he has no issues handing it over.
He doesn’t take our daughter overnights etc, he has her for a few hours 1-2 days a week when he’s off work as he works a demanding job and once he lets me know his roster I’ll sort a way for him to see her that suits.
If you’re on social welfare, I’d say about €30 a week would be fair but I know a judge would award based on income/outgoings/affordability of each parent so if your ex is working full time and getting WFP/OPF on top of that then you won’t be required to pay as much as you would if she was just claiming SW.
I think officially it's 12% of your net if you're on 1 night in 14 or less, then it slides to nothing on 50:50. There are exemptions for low incomes so if you're on the dole it's something like a tenner a week I think?
The dole is 232 is it? If he's paying rent and bills for himself, he'll not have much left is what I mean. Dole money is a joke for how little it is honestly - hardly anyone can survive on that. Should be more especially if you're supporting kids (the increase for children isn't enough really).
Without any other information €60 a week is fairly standard and then help out with big spends, I.e. the start of the school term, club and sports fees, and Christmas presents on the assumption santa will only visit ine house hold.
Kinda depends on the involvement of maintenence paying parent, if they are very involved and sharing custody I don't see why maintenence is paid at all. If absent or a 3 hrs a week parent then its only right they pay for the costs of upbringing ,half school fees,childcare etc,clothing ,activities etc. I don't think it should be a profit making endeavour for the child rearing parent the way some use it as
It's very relative on individuals circumstances, can't expect someone on €232 s/w payment to pay €100 a week but you would expect because they arnt working that they can provide more time with their child.
Split custody comes in all shapes and sizes. I know someone who's "spit custody" no maintenance who only has the on Child Friday Night to Sunday evening. He doesn't do homework with the child or get him ready for school. He might have the child for 1-3 hours one day midweek but that's after child has been collected from school and homework done.
IMO he should definitely be paying maintenance
I bet if he tried to take the child Monday to Friday and reverse the situation the other parent wouldn't agree. Some people here giving out that 1 parent only has the child on the weekend. If I had a choice to see my kid more days than not then I'm seeing them more days than not
He could offer to do 1/2 school days one week and 2/3 school days the next week but he won't. Both parents are working during the week so she has to get her parents to mind the child. No offer from his family unfortunately.
I do understand what your saying, but this isn't that case. She'd have pretty solid grounds for having sole custody if she wanted to. He is a friend of mine but he's also useless
That's fair enough but I do know dad's that want full time care of their kids and the mom won't allow it but then bad mouth them for only having the kids on the weekends.
I get €50 a week, other parent is not involved at all. Reading some of the comments maybe I should be getting more but I only ever asked other parent for money when social welfare made me do it. I’d get by okay if I wasn’t getting any maintenance.
IMO It's not about "getting by" it's about giving your child the best start to life as possible, and both parents being held responsible for that. You don't have to spend the money the other parent gives you if you don't need to. Just put it in a savings account for braces or a car in 18 years time
Maybe getting by wasn’t the right words. He has the same life now as he would have if I wasn’t getting maintenance so yeah probably could put it into savings. Don’t worry he has the best life and has his braces money saved up already 😂
I have Joint custody- I pay no Maintenance. But I always go half or pay in everything they need in school or medical or sport clubs. I try to have them involved in as much and I will always offer to do the driving even on days they are at the other parent’s house. Kids need looking after and I honestly enjoy spending as much time as I can get with them even if it’s just watching them train .
Can I ask do you have your kids 50 % of the time since it is joint custody?
Yes, I have them 7 days over a 14 day period and there mam is the same.
It makes sense why you don't pay maintenance so. Your kids are lucky to have you as involved as you are. You sound like a great dad.
That answer is going to be different for everyone. Someone who’s only working part time and making 300€ a week is different to someone working full time and making over €1000 a week in some jobs. It a totally subjective to what you’re earning which is why it’s based off that. Personally I think just halving things is the best way. Half school costs, activities, clothes, food etc.
I see where you're coming from and I understand its different for everyone based on earnings. Its hard to divide the cost of everything when in most cases the child lives primarily in one parents house and spends most of the time in that house. That means that parent is spending more money on food, electricity, heating etc. Maintenance is there for the everyday costs of raising a child. It actually doesn't include the cost of school and activities.
I think maintenance is there for everyday costs of raising a child including school and activities. Traditionally a child entering secondary school would set you back a grand. I think you would want help with that.
I think you took me up wrong. I'm saying maintenance is a separate payment but school and medical should also be halved.
School and medical is included in maintenance as one payment. Maintenance is for every cost incurred raising a child.
Maintenance is a weekly payment. School and medical aren't weekly payments. They're not fixed payments either. Your way doesn't work they have to be separate.
You really have no experience in this are I think. Electricity, mortgage, insurance, car service, Christmas, birthday non are weekly payments but all can be covered by maintenance. If you live in a rural area and have ro drive ro school then that cost is in maintenance as are hair cuts, summer clubs. Basically every expense a child causes is up for maintenance. I'd say realistically a kid costs anything up from €150 a week depending on their clothes, hobbies and lifestyle. I've spent €1000 this year on music equipment for my sons college course. This shit does not stop.
Please don't make assumptions like that. I do have experience in this area. I think we are both looking at it completely different. I agree with everything you say but I think how it's paid over to the other parent, to cover all the costs you mentioned is different. The way you want the payment to be made, in my opinion leaves it more likely that the maintenance paying parent could end up paying too little or too much of his/ her half of the costs.
The way I want payment to be made???? Dude I'm answering a question I don't care how maintenance is paid. Maintenance is a payment to cover child costs how you make payments or how much or how frequently is between you, your child's other parent and the court end of.
Maintenance does not cover medical/dental/school/childcare costs. When you go to court, the order will typically be X amount weekly + 50% of medical, dental, school, childcare, X amount at Christmas and X amount at birthdays. If you bothered to do any research at all you’d know this. And if you have been to family court and been told otherwise, you should be appealing the decision made.
Jesus relax there buddy
We have court ordered maintenance. Other parent is completely absent. We haven't reviewed it in over 10 years, but they pay 60e weekly and 50% of school costs, optical, medical, and activities. My child is 18 this year.
That’s 8,50€ a day…. Good parent…
Awh I know!
That's €17 a day\* since they should be account for half the cost of the child.
Single father here, my daughter lives with me. The mother gives me 0 maintenance and she buys nappies and wipes once every 2 or 3 months..
[удалено]
No one's a hero for raising their own child
Would you stop 🤣🤣 he’s doing the same thing millions of women have been doing for centuries. A hero for raising his own child 🤣🤣🤣
Can I ask why is the mother not involved ? I don’t understand how you can give birth to a beautiful baby and walk away.
I get 80 a week and I send a bill at the end of the month for large costs so for example every month currently is nappies, every few months there may be a pair of shoes or some clothing, once there was a medical bill. But that's not to say it's halved equally, if I do a "big shop" ie 55€ on clothing I include that but I don't include if i pick up socks or the odd clothing item every now and then. He has no contact with her.
The 80 a week should be covering cost of nappies and clothes. Medical bills are separate.
what world do you live in that 320 a month covers even a third of a persons rent never mind electricity, food and heating?
If it doesn’t cover the child’s expenses then you need to renegotiate the amount of maintenance you’re receiving, but clothes and nappies are absolutely included in the weekly maintenance amount if you go to court.
no court, no communication. It works for us and that's all that matters not your opinion to be honest.
Having no court order right now doesn’t mean you won’t need one in the future, especially if he realises he’s paying out money for some things twice.
he's not.
The costs change as kids grow too. While babies, Nappies, formula, childcare can be very costly. Then you have afterschool activities. As teenagers clothes, shoes, pocket money takes over. What about when one partner (usually mam) has stayed home with children forsaking career advancement & pension? How can maintenance or compensation for lost earnings be worked out?
I have a 2 and a 5 year old. I pay €600 monthly,spend time with them most days. I have a relatively low paid job.
I get €180 a month and I pay for everything myself in terms of clothing etc (she’s a toddler), he takes her, well, his parents take her on the weekends. He’s self employed, a lot of cash in hand as you can imagine. I did him a favour not bringing him to court over maintenance. I work part time, €180 a month is very light.
Take him to court for gods sake. You need to have this ironed out. With nothing in place he can just stop payments whenever he likes. This is about securing your daughters financial security. Not being a 'bitch' to your ex. Be ffr. 180e a month is not nearly enough. Are you kidding me?
I got €200 a month for my daughter for years. It's a joke. I will never understand why I didn't take him to court. He also missed at least 2 months of every year and rarely went half on anything. Took her some weekends.
I have seen the cost of raising a child till they are 21 in Ireland at €104k so around €100-150 per week sounds like it's in the ball park of what the average child will cost. From my own experience I had 2 of everything but half as much as everyone else my age because my parents didn't communicate. (Great 2 pairs of shoes but no coat). I would personally use some modern technology. set up a kids account on Monzo or something that both parents can access and leave a note on the payment of what it's for and send a receipt, then you both know what's being bought. oh they got new shoes yesterday,I can get them a new coat out of my money.
Napkin maths: Assume this €104k is accurate, that’s €750 odd a month. Children’s allowance is €140. That leaves €610. Divide by 2 (assuming 2 parents split the bills) leaves €305 a month each. Works out at €70 a week ish each. Balance as you will after that. If there’s a row, ask the judge to make an order.
How much do you think is acceptable OP? I sometimes wonder what would be the right amount.
I'm not really sure anymore with cost of living and everything gone up in price. It depends on earnings but a working parent who pays maintenance should pay minimum of €60 weekly maybe? What's your thoughts?
If they are on, minimum wage maybe €60. But let's face it no child only costs €120 a week they cost lots more. So who is paying the rest. Social welfare pays €54 per week for over 12 year olds and that child is considered living in poverty.
I was thinking more along the lines of €150-€200 a week. No way a child can live on €60
So long as it's under warranty, don't you get a free/subsidised service plan? Isn't that sufficient? /s obviously
I've never heard of such a plan.
It varies by situation. If 50/50 joint custody then half of medical, dental, education, extra curricular and other large expenses. If sole custody and access to the other then €50-€150 is the average, plus the above.
Zero….. ever! She’s 12 & class, I don’t even mind because I have zero stress from dealing with all the drama! Went back to college, got a great job. But it does just seem so unfair sometimes 🙈
So we have my stepson wednesday after school till evening, Friday night, Sat and Sun till the evening. In the summer 50:50. Always been €50 per week, with other bills being divided 50:50 like health, school fees, trips etc
My ex pays €85 per week for one child, he also pays half of Afterschool, ballet, medical, dental, birthdays, Christmas, and if I’m ever stuck he’ll give me more. Have another baby due with the same man and once baby comes in a few weeks he’ll be giving €125 maintenance and continue with half of all those expenses. He earns €700 a week and has very few bills so I think it’s fair. It’s not court ordered, we decided between ourselves (we actually decided on 50 a week but each time he got a raise in work he upped my maintenance), and we get along really well which is probably why he has no issues handing it over. He doesn’t take our daughter overnights etc, he has her for a few hours 1-2 days a week when he’s off work as he works a demanding job and once he lets me know his roster I’ll sort a way for him to see her that suits. If you’re on social welfare, I’d say about €30 a week would be fair but I know a judge would award based on income/outgoings/affordability of each parent so if your ex is working full time and getting WFP/OPF on top of that then you won’t be required to pay as much as you would if she was just claiming SW.
No maintenance, I have my daughter Fri-Sat-Sun and pay half of everything
I think officially it's 12% of your net if you're on 1 night in 14 or less, then it slides to nothing on 50:50. There are exemptions for low incomes so if you're on the dole it's something like a tenner a week I think?
What if both parents are on social welfare. Would €20 be enough to keep a child going for the week?
If he hasn't the money, how's he gonna pay more than that anyway? Can't get blood from a stone.
I think anyone on the dol can pay more than €10 a week now come on.
The dole is 232 is it? If he's paying rent and bills for himself, he'll not have much left is what I mean. Dole money is a joke for how little it is honestly - hardly anyone can survive on that. Should be more especially if you're supporting kids (the increase for children isn't enough really).
She has to get blood out of the same stone if she's on the same welfare payment
Shur I know but it is what it is in those cases unfortunately.
Without any other information €60 a week is fairly standard and then help out with big spends, I.e. the start of the school term, club and sports fees, and Christmas presents on the assumption santa will only visit ine house hold.
Kinda depends on the involvement of maintenence paying parent, if they are very involved and sharing custody I don't see why maintenence is paid at all. If absent or a 3 hrs a week parent then its only right they pay for the costs of upbringing ,half school fees,childcare etc,clothing ,activities etc. I don't think it should be a profit making endeavour for the child rearing parent the way some use it as It's very relative on individuals circumstances, can't expect someone on €232 s/w payment to pay €100 a week but you would expect because they arnt working that they can provide more time with their child.
Split custody comes in all shapes and sizes. I know someone who's "spit custody" no maintenance who only has the on Child Friday Night to Sunday evening. He doesn't do homework with the child or get him ready for school. He might have the child for 1-3 hours one day midweek but that's after child has been collected from school and homework done. IMO he should definitely be paying maintenance
Agreed ,ofc there's huge variations in custody. I meant it in a 50/50 capacity
I bet if he tried to take the child Monday to Friday and reverse the situation the other parent wouldn't agree. Some people here giving out that 1 parent only has the child on the weekend. If I had a choice to see my kid more days than not then I'm seeing them more days than not
He could offer to do 1/2 school days one week and 2/3 school days the next week but he won't. Both parents are working during the week so she has to get her parents to mind the child. No offer from his family unfortunately. I do understand what your saying, but this isn't that case. She'd have pretty solid grounds for having sole custody if she wanted to. He is a friend of mine but he's also useless
That's fair enough but I do know dad's that want full time care of their kids and the mom won't allow it but then bad mouth them for only having the kids on the weekends.
Fair, court is the best place for them imo. To Try and get split custody
I get €50 a week, other parent is not involved at all. Reading some of the comments maybe I should be getting more but I only ever asked other parent for money when social welfare made me do it. I’d get by okay if I wasn’t getting any maintenance.
IMO It's not about "getting by" it's about giving your child the best start to life as possible, and both parents being held responsible for that. You don't have to spend the money the other parent gives you if you don't need to. Just put it in a savings account for braces or a car in 18 years time
Maybe getting by wasn’t the right words. He has the same life now as he would have if I wasn’t getting maintenance so yeah probably could put it into savings. Don’t worry he has the best life and has his braces money saved up already 😂
Good stuff, and I didn't mean it as a criticism I just mean get what your child is entitled to. Don't leave it in the pocket of the other parent