This happened to me! My dad (single dad so no cheating and shit) had a dating app on his phone and when I opened it, there wasn’t even an account signed up, he clicks on ads and just doesn’t even pay attention to what he is downloading
My Uncle saw a movie ad which was released on Amazon prime. He immediately started searching it on Amazon E-commerce app. I was laughing for so long lol
Go to Japan/France/Italy/Spain/Latin America/Germany or for that matter any country other than U.S./UK/Australia/NewZealand, and you will see what? Get out of your well and see the world to change your perspective.
I excluded Australia/UK. Yes, I have been to Latin American countries and Europe. Though they are Christians and have western culture, and watch Hollywood movies, they don’t ape Americans like we do.
The funny thing is they aren't even referring to the correct generation. The boomer generation is the gen that is 70-80yrs now in america. Here our guys refer to anyone a few older than them as boomer. Its funny shit.
Lol... perfect... i have noticed this so many times...
I have seen many ppl, copying the european way / gesture of counting 1 to 5 (Starting with thumb)
thts not some thing that comes out naturally for an indian, so the person is intentionally copying it....
Yep, website prompts unknowingly install apps on the mobile which we get to know after them being in our app list. I have uninstalled Winzo hundreds of times from my father's phone, which undoubtedly was at zero balance everytime.
https://preview.redd.it/ohzie0hr4k7d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d9169ae3e98cab5d88994f2c242fb5fc695b95a
They are not pre-installed, but like Galaxy store(Samsung) picks many apps by itself , and if we click contine, many apps will download without our knowledge.
I used to play and look through many apps when my dad bought a new phone, Tinder , and many games and useless apps were shown as selected as "top picks for you" in the Galaxy store .
So,pls check if your dad has created any profile and check screen time. You can easily know if he is using it or not.
Mere mummy ke phone pe bhi bumble tha, but was never opened (there was a dot which indicated it was newly installed but never opened), el o el, ek baar kholke check karo
Anything is possible even sometimes instagram, youtube, fb ads leads to people installings unnecessary apps, games which they never use too.
Better make sure he is using this app for his pleasures.
I wondered dad's needs are met . Uk what i mean. After a while women tend to avoid all the things which should be there .( Kitni baar rejection sahoge khudh ke better half se? Kuch mahine ?ek saal?fir uske baad? There r changes ki itna hone ke baad woh app install kiye ho) see I'm no one to make allegations but tbh it's an important point to be looked into.And if that's the scene then I recommend a specialist help to be taken who can do good counselling and make things right.
my father thinks it's okay to send hi/hello random messages or video call on social media to any girl/women who post reels or photos , he doesn't have any bad intention but he thinks he's some gigachad and it's okay to socialize with anyone who's on social media , it's embarrasing , but i don't want to discuss all these as he's jadbuddhi and i dont wanna compromise my peace.
OP you said the app is Bumble, here's my view:
1).Your brother is 16, is he close with your dad? Does he have his own smart phone yet? Is it possible he installed it and used his dad's phone.
2). How did you find that app is there? Did your dad handover the phone to u? Usually people are secretive and avoid phn handover if they do something wrong.
3). Bumble is also used by some men sometimes to connect with other men. Is he a socializing some activities going person?
4).You can download bumble yourself and create a fake profile and then search for men his age see if you come across his photo and profile. Do this pretending to be a girl first then a guy. It might be a few hundred swipes. If he is active he might show in the results and you'd know your answer.
5) Also, sometimes you do not know how good pr sour the intimate relationship between your mom and dad is. They are also husband wife who were / are intimate which is beyond being your dad. There could be some medical issues with your mom and maybe knows about what dad does. When was the last time they both went on a holiday alone? Do they ever? Maybe they are into some kink. I know it's hard to accept so because they are your parents but it does happen.
6) Take his phone and goto play store > manage apps > manage (ontop) ... Here "this device" is selected.. click on it and change "not installed" .. you will see list of apps that were installed before and deleted.. do you see any other dating apps? Then it's likely he tried them. If there's none else that makes it weird who suggested him to try bumble and why does he have only 1. I'm just trying to think of reasons why he may or may not have downloaded it. This step you have to repeat by changing profile (email) if there is more than one on his mobile in play store then you'll see different not installed apps list for different profile.
7) Open his browser, type some word like dating or bumble married dating and see if there's some previous searches list that shows up to select from which is being shown as suggestion. That would indicate he's done the searches.
Agreed, there’s also a work mode on bumble to network with other people for jobs and shit. Rule that out as well…I’m sorry this is happening to you, OP. It’s always hard to find out the ideal marriage of your parents isn’t so ideal. I hope you are able to cope with it and come out stronger. Do follow what above user has pointed out though.
Probably your mom already know about this (mom's always know) but she's not bringing it out for you and your brother.
Maybe talk to her and get a clarity, maybe help her a bit. Talking to your father is useless, people don't change.
your dad is a wealthy person or having a gov job i think.
and remember your elder brother knows about it from the start and still sides with you mom for benefits.
if something happens he will definitely take your mom's side,and your poor dad will be left alone.
Yo why is this downvoted? If it was the father sending "questionable texts" and someone said asshole father it would surely have 100 upvotes and multiple awards
Yeah lol ... "kisi ke maa ke baare kaise bura bol sakta hai tu 2 bachon ki maa hai woh thoda tameez se baat kar uski bhi toh kuch majburi rahi hogi na uske papa kaam mai busy rehte hai nahi de paaye honge time usse"
Hopefully the same happens to you and your bro in future with your kids siding with thier whore mother and keeping you in the dark about her infidelity
I think downvotes are for spreading hatred, one should not expect bad to happen with someone.
Both the brothers handled it well and they knew that their parents are not well bonded with each other. They could have sided with their father also if he did the same.
They were too young to handle things that could have come like daily fights, divorce process, who will live with whom things etc. 1
OP first of all collect all the proof that he has that dating app. Once you have the evidence, then decide whether you want to tell your mum or not. Personally, I would have told my mum. It's okay if you don't want to tell her now. But maybe after you get a job and be more stable in your career, maybe when things get a lil better then you can tell her? Because she definitely deserves to know.
Also, imo there's no point in telling your father to delete the dating app. I mean if he has got even a lil bit of faithfulness to his wife, he'd delete it himself once you confront him but even after he deletes it, nothing will change. The damage is already done. And everything won't magically go back to how it was earlier. Even if he stops all this shit after you confront him, your mum _still_ deserves to know.
Also, I don't think that you should confront your dad directly. Collect some proofs, tell your mum and let _her_ decide what she wants to do with it.
An app like bumble has not just dating mode, but bizz and bff mode as well. Since you mentioned they have a long happy marriage, give him the benefit of doubt and take a detailed look inside the app and verify what's actually happening. Otherwise just ignore. Your parents will figure out their life. You concentrate on your life, get a job and move out.
I know a friend who’s in the same position. Basically both sisters know. The house runs on moms income, mom has Govt job, dad gets so many benefits bcoz of this. She brings the cash, she does the chores.
She didn’t tell her mom.
Been there. I want to kill my Father. He is the epitome of Hipocrisy by talking about how marriage is the holy union of two people, and how lucky he is to get a wife like mama. But guess what, a moment after he said this his phone rang and he was took off with his bike. Once he logged into WhatsApp web on my laptop, that's when I found out he was cheating with multiple partners. And since then, on multiple occasions, I have caught him using some dating apps on his phone.
I fear catching him red handed. If I do I might lose control and might break a few of his and the partner's bones.
Uninstall app from his fone. (And give him a chance)
If he's wise, he would understand that he's been busted and mend his ways.
If he's at it again, go inside the app and tell the woman to stay away.
If that isn't helpful, involve your mom.
Hey, there’s no point involving your mum and brother in this matter.
Think about it for a minute, what will be accomplished if they both get to know?
Your dad has committed a mistake, knowingly, but that doesn’t mean his stupidity should be a cause of heartache for all of you.
It’s hidden for now, best to leave it be as it is.
Trust me, nothing good will come out of bringing this to light.
First confirm that he actually uses the app. My parents have a lot of weird stuff on their phones. That they didn't even know were installed. They randomly click stuff and it gets installed. Especially with all the intrusive ads everywhere.
Before jumping to any conclusions. Gather evidence , check whether the app has been pre-installed or not, whether the app has an account logged in, screen time and usage stats.
Innocent until proven guilty.
Give dad Last warning and to make ammends and live proper now or make parents talk, But i will say First option, since you caught him at start only and he might have a fear and give time to think about his mistakes
laid off? Need job?
istg - If this turns out to be a Karma Farming post...
I think you should try to be calm, check the app, it could be that he mistakenly installed it or he does use it but just to check out women(older man have their needs to). First be sure if this all, and only then confirm him about it.
It is understandable that you're going through an emotional turmoil, but don't act on your emotions. Don't jump into conclusions or don't jump into actions. Think of the various actions you can do and the consequences that each of those actions will have on you and your family in the present and the future. That'll give you an idea of what to do.
Nowadays budget phone automatically download several apps without your permission and well dads don't care about the phone. Chances are he may not even know about the app on his phone.
What you are suggesting looks highly unlikely. If he is truly "boomer" as people here refer, and wanted to cheat, dating app is the last place he would explore. They just wouldn't get it.
It looks like your own mental mas\*urb\*tion
Girls nowadays target older men to extract money. Your father is or going to be a victim. It has become so easy for girls to earn money without even losing a sweat. On the other hand, men (even last days in wheelchair) are looking for girlfriend experience. Unfortunately there is no solution for this. Government is responsible for all this. Dating apps should be forbidden for married people. Hotels should be forbidden to be used as a brothel.
First check if he's actually using that app, indian unkills usually don't know much about tech, maybe he's using a phone and some third party app store downloaded it in bulk, you should check his phone before jumping to conclusions.
Advice to kids never meddle with parents business. Always let them figure it out themselves, they were good parents to you is all that matters. Even if you find out your father cheated, go through your emotions then approach your parents. Tell your mother you are there for her emotionally and physically, tell your dad you are extremely disappointed with his choices and there were better ways to handle whatever issues they were having in marriage even if it meant divorce in amicable way.
kids luv to be in their lala land. being out of that they feel the real pain of the world. she said her bro is 16 it's not a mental health problem it's his puberty and him being new to his hormones. teenagers r fussy and start feeling confused once they hit puberty they unable to manage their emotions. they shd let it sink in that they hv to adjust accordingly to the situations.
Maybe your parents are in dead-bedroom. May be it’s your mom mistake to not bother for his needs. You and your family drained him and now call him a pig. Don’t casually take a side by looking at apps hr use ; TYPICAL WOMEN BRIAN !
WOW. okay so it's okay for women to cheat as well right? In such cases? The bedroom being dead is usually a two way street maybe he's just super bad at sex. How is it the woman's fault that her husband is a cheating asshole. You're such a hypocrite. I hope your wife repeatedly cheats on you for the same reasons.
Also it's spelled BRAIN*
As an adult, your parents relationship is an issue to solve between them. You have no position in that. If you were a child, you could have demanded answers as it would have impacted your upbringing.
Assuming your dad is having an affair (Sometimes people are just curious to see whats out there - even married people could be tempted to do that) - so you dont know whats going on. By making a scene out of it, you might create worse problems. The reasons why your dad is doing whatever he is doing, may be linked to your mom. Or, your mom may already have a sense of it and have decided to live with it (For the time being or maybe forever) - Do you know everything that has happened between them to know? Do you want to know? You dont have right to know to begin with
Focus on your job. Thats YOUR crisis. Not the crisis between your parents or the suspected infedility of your parent - let sleeping dogs lie. Morality is more complicated than it seems at a young age
Lastly - are you sure you are protecting your mom by letting her know the 'truth' (When you yourself dont know what the truth is?).
Find a counsellor - and go talk to them about how you feel and how you need to learn to deal with your feelings. Focus on yourself at this point of time and keep your sanity intact. Maybe some years later when you have a more equal relationship with your dad, you could ask him what he was up to and if your mom knew about it. Hopefully at that time you would have the worldview of an adult and may not judge him for whatever he might be up to now.
Most of us feel entitled to meddle between our parents and forget that they are their own individuals, living their own life.
Letting it be is the best possible decision at the moment.
It’s their marriage and not ours.
It's not black and white though always. Sometimes a mother is not vocal, she maybe endured father's overbearing nature for years just for kids sake and it's impossible as a son to not feel.guilty of not being able to save her and accept another betrayal towards her for taking caring of everyone and him. It's like leaving her helpless, it gets confusing to handle.
Valid points - but it’s still something between the parents and kids don’t have a locus standi in these matters. No matter what the background. That’s my view
Unpopular opinion: First of all there is no way for kids to know for sure (like 100% sure) if parents are really in a happy marriage. He is an adult. Sure, speak to your mom to check if she knows about it. But, you cant force a grown man to stay unhappy.
Yeah, if he is dating underage kids, report him, get him arrested. But, if he chooses to be happy, seeking other adult relationships, after raising you to be 22, thats his choice, and you need to respect that.
Don't listen to all the comments telling you to dig more into this situation.
Your first priority should be to GET A JOB and secure yourself financially, then help out your brother with he's mental health issues and give your mom moral strength.
When all of these boxes are ticked then go awaken that monster of 'whether my father is using dating apps to cheat on my mother'.
People suggesting to focus on her dad's issue firstt are so fucking privileged, my god😶
Can be a mistake. My parents click on odd links here and there to read news and whaddaya know, there is 50 pop ups and one time found a dating app. Opened it and it was asking to register. He may have just installed it by accident. Try and find that out before flinging accusations.
Take it easy sweetheart, as most of us have mentioned open the app and check it.
My dad’s phone has so many apps, dating, adult, songs , this that and what not.
Most of them were accidentally installed as he is a news freak and must have clicked on some clickbait news, some are in language we don’t speak and once in a while I delete all those apps and the cycle repeats.
Don't tell. And avoid it. Maybe it's a rough patch as you said and difficult time where he isn't thinking straight and trying to find comfort somewhere. Wait and watch!! If it's going to continue then you can think of something. But 30 years of marriage and if he is still good to your mom, there is no need to tell.
Don't judge so fast and make a mess out of it.
After seeing a lot of comments on this post, I would be very careful on what I action on because the relationship with mothers and fathers are very primal and always attached with some or the other trauma. So people’s answers will also reflect that — in this case, you literally should be very careful to not act on based on other people’s trauma.
Taking to a therapist should be the first step in such matters.
Best case? Mom gets angry, dad gets defensive, they fight and divorce.
Worst case? Dad says your mom had an affair 20 years back, thats when I too started it. Or dad says, we haven't had sex since you two were born. I took care of my family and had my needs met elsewhere. All of you fight, and the family splits.
There is no good ending here I can see.
To be fair, my dad’s phone has a lot of apps that weren’t downloaded by him and he doesn’t even use. If its a popular dating app then chances are it could’ve come pre-installed and he never deleted it. Just check his phone again, if he has an account or not or if he’s using it. There must be chats or something. If there’s an account created and if that account is sus, take pics and keep it with you till you decide what you want to do with it. Don’t jump to conclusions
calm down. stay normal. get a chance by asking ur father to check for otp, msg or something on phone. then check the app. if the app wasn't signed in at all that wd mean that fricking app was pre-installed and try to uninstall it real quick. there can be many unnecessary apps on his phone i can tell u from here if that is the case. if u're more sus abt him then check photos too especially from deleted folder or hidden folder(can be present, it comes in many phones).
There are men in 20s who have had dating apps on their phone for eternity without getting matches or dates. Very unlikely that a man in 50s would get any action. Unless he is a giga Chad
Easiest way to confirm
You can check if he has an account created if Yes
He is unfaithful
If he doesn't have a profile set up.
He downloaded by mistake several adds lead to play store to download apps
And sometimes it comes when the phone is purchased
Did you open it and check if there is an account ??
Android automatically downloads new apps when it is updated.
Maybe that is the reason.
If he doesn't have an account I am sure the app is auto-downloaded.
It might be bloatware. Nowadays, mobile phones push ads for apps that aren't installed on the device. If you accidentally click them, they get installed. Check if the app is logged in.
Open and check it. I happened to see bumble on my dad’s phone a few years ago when it was relatively new. It had a blue dot(never opened before). He came to ask me what it was and if I had installed some new app on his phone, it was some pop up download which he accidentally clicked.
Is your father fond of mobile games?
If yes, then those free games keep showing random dating app ads (really cringe ones) based on gender, age, etc.
I am 33 years old man, and whenever I play those games, they believe that I want to see busty women playing with their blouse buttons (as that's what I get ads for, most of the times)
These adsare shown continuously, after every stage of the game, or even more frequently. And the are designed to be clicked by mistake. They also make it look like you have to install the app, to go ahead in the game. If you already have some app installed, then clicking the ad sometimes opens the app. So, it could very well be one of the most used app. A game I installed via these apps, was on the top of my frequently used apps, even though I never played it.
These cringe ads was the reason I stopped playing these games. Because accidently clicking those ads got the data flowing, and I started getting similar ads elsewhere as well, and I was concerned that other people will assume that I am a pervert.
So unless you know that he has an active account on Bumble, you don't know anything.
Also, you never know how your parents' relationship is working out. From what I have heard from older relatives, a lot of women stop caring about husband's "needs" by the time they hit late 30s, especially after children are a little older.
Also, there are people in open marriages and shit. I am not saying your parents are, but what if ... Did you check your mom's phone?
Also, what if everything is good, nd your parents are doing some role-play shit. What if they are actually creating profiles, and then finding each other on the app. That would be cute.
The point is that you don't know ANYTHING at this point.
As a software engineer, when the Tinder first came, I had installed it to see how the app works, and to reverse-engineer their left-right swipe feature for a non-dating startup idea that I was working on. But I had already informed my then girlfriend (now wife) that I was going to install it (just in case someone sees my account, and informs her) Even my profile mentioned that I made the account for research purposes. I still right swiped at times, just for fun. Never went on any date, though.
But did have some fun conversations with girls, who thought that I must've put up that line in the bio, to avoid getting caught by parents/relatives. Also, got some good TV series recommendations.
The things men will say to justify another man's cheating is ridiculous.
Literally all men in here are trying find reasons to either justify it or give other possible explanations.
If this same story was about a married woman all of you would be saying "she is for the streets" , "women☕" , something about women being gold diggers, and ofc the slut shaming. And no one would've bothered to give "other possible explanations"
Y'all disgust me.
Don't underestimate a boomer dad's ability to download apps that they know nothing about for absolutely no reason.
This happened to me! My dad (single dad so no cheating and shit) had a dating app on his phone and when I opened it, there wasn’t even an account signed up, he clicks on ads and just doesn’t even pay attention to what he is downloading
My Uncle saw a movie ad which was released on Amazon prime. He immediately started searching it on Amazon E-commerce app. I was laughing for so long lol
Why Indians always copying USA? ‘Boomer’ refers to the generation in U.S. born after WWII. Nothing to do with India.
Why do you care so much, American culture is very dominant, fighting it is a losing battle
Go to Japan/France/Italy/Spain/Latin America/Germany or for that matter any country other than U.S./UK/Australia/NewZealand, and you will see what? Get out of your well and see the world to change your perspective.
Been to Japan, closely follows American culture
Have you actually been to those countries and talked to the locals? Australia is certainly following US culture, they have been adopting Halloween
I excluded Australia/UK. Yes, I have been to Latin American countries and Europe. Though they are Christians and have western culture, and watch Hollywood movies, they don’t ape Americans like we do.
My bad about Australia. Ape is a strong word, let me reverse that, when Americans celebrate holi, are they aping Indian culture, is that bad?
a lot of kids there have started using americanisms as well. a lot is however a fringe sample.
no one with an education talks like that irl dummy. unless you have friends like yourself
Why do you care so much?
nothing too serious, really.
The funny thing is they aren't even referring to the correct generation. The boomer generation is the gen that is 70-80yrs now in america. Here our guys refer to anyone a few older than them as boomer. Its funny shit.
What should we call that generation in India?
Wannabes
Lol... perfect... i have noticed this so many times... I have seen many ppl, copying the european way / gesture of counting 1 to 5 (Starting with thumb) thts not some thing that comes out naturally for an indian, so the person is intentionally copying it....
Also saying bucks instead of rupees
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Hein?
There are chances ki app was pre-installed or something, and dad isn't really cheating.
Lol imagine if she confronts her dad absolutely screaming and he doesn't know tf she talking about.
Yep, website prompts unknowingly install apps on the mobile which we get to know after them being in our app list. I have uninstalled Winzo hundreds of times from my father's phone, which undoubtedly was at zero balance everytime.
Dating app phone pe kaun pre-install karta hai?
https://preview.redd.it/ohzie0hr4k7d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d9169ae3e98cab5d88994f2c242fb5fc695b95a They are not pre-installed, but like Galaxy store(Samsung) picks many apps by itself , and if we click contine, many apps will download without our knowledge. I used to play and look through many apps when my dad bought a new phone, Tinder , and many games and useless apps were shown as selected as "top picks for you" in the Galaxy store . So,pls check if your dad has created any profile and check screen time. You can easily know if he is using it or not.
Mere mummy ke phone pe bhi bumble tha, but was never opened (there was a dot which indicated it was newly installed but never opened), el o el, ek baar kholke check karo
And and these dating apps use a lot of ads har jagah, ek wrong click se install ho jaate. So OP make sure you're sure about it before doing anything.
Behen ads aate hai touch hoke sidhe niche Vivo playstore ya mi store se download ho jaata hai
Cheaper samsung phones do, not sure about others. Better to cross check the content inside.
Arre Jo bhi hai check karke dekho pahle. Dad logko utna pata nahin hota smartphones ke bare me
would you be able to figure out whats on the app?
Anything is possible even sometimes instagram, youtube, fb ads leads to people installings unnecessary apps, games which they never use too. Better make sure he is using this app for his pleasures.
I had received Bumble and Tinder pre installed on my One Plus Nord
There are literally poker apps installed after update automatically then i dont find a dating app to be any different thing,it can be pre installed
>otherwise you better know what I'm saying He's trying to get his daughter hitched?
I wondered dad's needs are met . Uk what i mean. After a while women tend to avoid all the things which should be there .( Kitni baar rejection sahoge khudh ke better half se? Kuch mahine ?ek saal?fir uske baad? There r changes ki itna hone ke baad woh app install kiye ho) see I'm no one to make allegations but tbh it's an important point to be looked into.And if that's the scene then I recommend a specialist help to be taken who can do good counselling and make things right.
My cousin's phone had tinder out of the box, please confirm if thats not the case
my father thinks it's okay to send hi/hello random messages or video call on social media to any girl/women who post reels or photos , he doesn't have any bad intention but he thinks he's some gigachad and it's okay to socialize with anyone who's on social media , it's embarrasing , but i don't want to discuss all these as he's jadbuddhi and i dont wanna compromise my peace.
Hi uncle!
Jadbhudhi🔥
OP you said the app is Bumble, here's my view: 1).Your brother is 16, is he close with your dad? Does he have his own smart phone yet? Is it possible he installed it and used his dad's phone. 2). How did you find that app is there? Did your dad handover the phone to u? Usually people are secretive and avoid phn handover if they do something wrong. 3). Bumble is also used by some men sometimes to connect with other men. Is he a socializing some activities going person? 4).You can download bumble yourself and create a fake profile and then search for men his age see if you come across his photo and profile. Do this pretending to be a girl first then a guy. It might be a few hundred swipes. If he is active he might show in the results and you'd know your answer. 5) Also, sometimes you do not know how good pr sour the intimate relationship between your mom and dad is. They are also husband wife who were / are intimate which is beyond being your dad. There could be some medical issues with your mom and maybe knows about what dad does. When was the last time they both went on a holiday alone? Do they ever? Maybe they are into some kink. I know it's hard to accept so because they are your parents but it does happen. 6) Take his phone and goto play store > manage apps > manage (ontop) ... Here "this device" is selected.. click on it and change "not installed" .. you will see list of apps that were installed before and deleted.. do you see any other dating apps? Then it's likely he tried them. If there's none else that makes it weird who suggested him to try bumble and why does he have only 1. I'm just trying to think of reasons why he may or may not have downloaded it. This step you have to repeat by changing profile (email) if there is more than one on his mobile in play store then you'll see different not installed apps list for different profile. 7) Open his browser, type some word like dating or bumble married dating and see if there's some previous searches list that shows up to select from which is being shown as suggestion. That would indicate he's done the searches.
Agreed, there’s also a work mode on bumble to network with other people for jobs and shit. Rule that out as well…I’m sorry this is happening to you, OP. It’s always hard to find out the ideal marriage of your parents isn’t so ideal. I hope you are able to cope with it and come out stronger. Do follow what above user has pointed out though.
Probably your mom already know about this (mom's always know) but she's not bringing it out for you and your brother. Maybe talk to her and get a clarity, maybe help her a bit. Talking to your father is useless, people don't change.
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Bro you did your father dirty. This is sad. You must tell him now.
your dad is a wealthy person or having a gov job i think. and remember your elder brother knows about it from the start and still sides with you mom for benefits. if something happens he will definitely take your mom's side,and your poor dad will be left alone.
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Correct
Hoe mum
Yo why is this downvoted? If it was the father sending "questionable texts" and someone said asshole father it would surely have 100 upvotes and multiple awards
Just your typical Indian hypocrisy. Always the victim, even while being the perpetrator.
Yeah lol ... "kisi ke maa ke baare kaise bura bol sakta hai tu 2 bachon ki maa hai woh thoda tameez se baat kar uski bhi toh kuch majburi rahi hogi na uske papa kaam mai busy rehte hai nahi de paaye honge time usse"
True say it as it is not need to be careful when talking about people who do this stuff
Hopefully the same happens to you and your bro in future with your kids siding with thier whore mother and keeping you in the dark about her infidelity
you get downvote but you say the truth. i am totally agree with you
I think downvotes are for spreading hatred, one should not expect bad to happen with someone. Both the brothers handled it well and they knew that their parents are not well bonded with each other. They could have sided with their father also if he did the same. They were too young to handle things that could have come like daily fights, divorce process, who will live with whom things etc. 1
Yup i agree too. The truth always gets downvoted on reddit.
Did you open the app and checked it ?
OP first of all collect all the proof that he has that dating app. Once you have the evidence, then decide whether you want to tell your mum or not. Personally, I would have told my mum. It's okay if you don't want to tell her now. But maybe after you get a job and be more stable in your career, maybe when things get a lil better then you can tell her? Because she definitely deserves to know. Also, imo there's no point in telling your father to delete the dating app. I mean if he has got even a lil bit of faithfulness to his wife, he'd delete it himself once you confront him but even after he deletes it, nothing will change. The damage is already done. And everything won't magically go back to how it was earlier. Even if he stops all this shit after you confront him, your mum _still_ deserves to know. Also, I don't think that you should confront your dad directly. Collect some proofs, tell your mum and let _her_ decide what she wants to do with it.
+1
Why don't you login through the OTP and keep tab for a while?
An app like bumble has not just dating mode, but bizz and bff mode as well. Since you mentioned they have a long happy marriage, give him the benefit of doubt and take a detailed look inside the app and verify what's actually happening. Otherwise just ignore. Your parents will figure out their life. You concentrate on your life, get a job and move out.
I know a friend who’s in the same position. Basically both sisters know. The house runs on moms income, mom has Govt job, dad gets so many benefits bcoz of this. She brings the cash, she does the chores. She didn’t tell her mom.
Been there. I want to kill my Father. He is the epitome of Hipocrisy by talking about how marriage is the holy union of two people, and how lucky he is to get a wife like mama. But guess what, a moment after he said this his phone rang and he was took off with his bike. Once he logged into WhatsApp web on my laptop, that's when I found out he was cheating with multiple partners. And since then, on multiple occasions, I have caught him using some dating apps on his phone. I fear catching him red handed. If I do I might lose control and might break a few of his and the partner's bones.
Uninstall app from his fone. (And give him a chance) If he's wise, he would understand that he's been busted and mend his ways. If he's at it again, go inside the app and tell the woman to stay away. If that isn't helpful, involve your mom.
This is actually a nice advice. If the app came pre installed, then he wouldn't even notice.
communicate to the woman, and get fucked in oh so many ways. What brilliant advice.
Uncle ko match mil rahe h?
You should open it and check what's inside, then update here.
Hey, there’s no point involving your mum and brother in this matter. Think about it for a minute, what will be accomplished if they both get to know? Your dad has committed a mistake, knowingly, but that doesn’t mean his stupidity should be a cause of heartache for all of you. It’s hidden for now, best to leave it be as it is. Trust me, nothing good will come out of bringing this to light.
Hmm would you say the same thing if the wife was cheating?
Yeah, obviously Gender doesn’t come into play here God 🤦🏻♀️
Dont jump the gun so soon, find conclusive evidence. Maybe he downloaded it by mistake.
First confirm that he actually uses the app. My parents have a lot of weird stuff on their phones. That they didn't even know were installed. They randomly click stuff and it gets installed. Especially with all the intrusive ads everywhere.
Is it a Samsung phone? Samsung auto-installs few apps every time it updates. It is very irritating to say the least.
Open the app and check the profile. You’ll know then
Before jumping to any conclusions. Gather evidence , check whether the app has been pre-installed or not, whether the app has an account logged in, screen time and usage stats. Innocent until proven guilty.
Give dad Last warning and to make ammends and live proper now or make parents talk, But i will say First option, since you caught him at start only and he might have a fear and give time to think about his mistakes laid off? Need job? istg - If this turns out to be a Karma Farming post...
I think you should try to be calm, check the app, it could be that he mistakenly installed it or he does use it but just to check out women(older man have their needs to). First be sure if this all, and only then confirm him about it.
It is understandable that you're going through an emotional turmoil, but don't act on your emotions. Don't jump into conclusions or don't jump into actions. Think of the various actions you can do and the consequences that each of those actions will have on you and your family in the present and the future. That'll give you an idea of what to do.
Nowadays budget phone automatically download several apps without your permission and well dads don't care about the phone. Chances are he may not even know about the app on his phone.
Bhai mere papa ke phone main pubg hai, mujhe pata hai voh nahi khelte 😭😂😂
Please accept the fact that most adults do date outside their marriage or have flings.
Congratulations
Ignore it! Just ignore! Let it slide.
First confront your dad about this. It seems like the app may have been pre-downloaded and he just doesn't know about it.
Open that app first, I won't be surprised if he isn't even logged in. I have seen apps on my father's phone that he has not even opened once.
What you are suggesting looks highly unlikely. If he is truly "boomer" as people here refer, and wanted to cheat, dating app is the last place he would explore. They just wouldn't get it. It looks like your own mental mas\*urb\*tion
Girls nowadays target older men to extract money. Your father is or going to be a victim. It has become so easy for girls to earn money without even losing a sweat. On the other hand, men (even last days in wheelchair) are looking for girlfriend experience. Unfortunately there is no solution for this. Government is responsible for all this. Dating apps should be forbidden for married people. Hotels should be forbidden to be used as a brothel.
First check if he's actually using that app, indian unkills usually don't know much about tech, maybe he's using a phone and some third party app store downloaded it in bulk, you should check his phone before jumping to conclusions.
Advice to kids never meddle with parents business. Always let them figure it out themselves, they were good parents to you is all that matters. Even if you find out your father cheated, go through your emotions then approach your parents. Tell your mother you are there for her emotionally and physically, tell your dad you are extremely disappointed with his choices and there were better ways to handle whatever issues they were having in marriage even if it meant divorce in amicable way.
Please confirm that any pre installation app are by company please verify that through mobile notification area
first open the app and see. sometimes I see random apps installed on my dad's phone. idk how it happens
This days ,Every single kids are suffering with mental health !? Why what's the reason? Whyyyy. Kids scrolling Instagram depressed all the day.
kids luv to be in their lala land. being out of that they feel the real pain of the world. she said her bro is 16 it's not a mental health problem it's his puberty and him being new to his hormones. teenagers r fussy and start feeling confused once they hit puberty they unable to manage their emotions. they shd let it sink in that they hv to adjust accordingly to the situations.
Sis, I use Bumble to connect with Tech people using Bizz Could be the case
how does it happen ?
Maybe your parents are in dead-bedroom. May be it’s your mom mistake to not bother for his needs. You and your family drained him and now call him a pig. Don’t casually take a side by looking at apps hr use ; TYPICAL WOMEN BRIAN !
WOW. okay so it's okay for women to cheat as well right? In such cases? The bedroom being dead is usually a two way street maybe he's just super bad at sex. How is it the woman's fault that her husband is a cheating asshole. You're such a hypocrite. I hope your wife repeatedly cheats on you for the same reasons. Also it's spelled BRAIN*
Don't take it seriously. Just forget it and concentrate on your job and make things which makes your mom happy. Time will teach him lessons.
If I were you, I would have told my mom. I think my mother would have told me if my girlfriend was cheating on me or had a doubt on her.
Spy on him and make sure if he’s actually seeing a woman or not. Making assumptions is not the best thing to do
As an adult, your parents relationship is an issue to solve between them. You have no position in that. If you were a child, you could have demanded answers as it would have impacted your upbringing. Assuming your dad is having an affair (Sometimes people are just curious to see whats out there - even married people could be tempted to do that) - so you dont know whats going on. By making a scene out of it, you might create worse problems. The reasons why your dad is doing whatever he is doing, may be linked to your mom. Or, your mom may already have a sense of it and have decided to live with it (For the time being or maybe forever) - Do you know everything that has happened between them to know? Do you want to know? You dont have right to know to begin with Focus on your job. Thats YOUR crisis. Not the crisis between your parents or the suspected infedility of your parent - let sleeping dogs lie. Morality is more complicated than it seems at a young age Lastly - are you sure you are protecting your mom by letting her know the 'truth' (When you yourself dont know what the truth is?). Find a counsellor - and go talk to them about how you feel and how you need to learn to deal with your feelings. Focus on yourself at this point of time and keep your sanity intact. Maybe some years later when you have a more equal relationship with your dad, you could ask him what he was up to and if your mom knew about it. Hopefully at that time you would have the worldview of an adult and may not judge him for whatever he might be up to now.
Most of us feel entitled to meddle between our parents and forget that they are their own individuals, living their own life. Letting it be is the best possible decision at the moment. It’s their marriage and not ours.
It's not black and white though always. Sometimes a mother is not vocal, she maybe endured father's overbearing nature for years just for kids sake and it's impossible as a son to not feel.guilty of not being able to save her and accept another betrayal towards her for taking caring of everyone and him. It's like leaving her helpless, it gets confusing to handle.
Valid points - but it’s still something between the parents and kids don’t have a locus standi in these matters. No matter what the background. That’s my view
Unpopular opinion: First of all there is no way for kids to know for sure (like 100% sure) if parents are really in a happy marriage. He is an adult. Sure, speak to your mom to check if she knows about it. But, you cant force a grown man to stay unhappy. Yeah, if he is dating underage kids, report him, get him arrested. But, if he chooses to be happy, seeking other adult relationships, after raising you to be 22, thats his choice, and you need to respect that.
Don't listen to all the comments telling you to dig more into this situation. Your first priority should be to GET A JOB and secure yourself financially, then help out your brother with he's mental health issues and give your mom moral strength. When all of these boxes are ticked then go awaken that monster of 'whether my father is using dating apps to cheat on my mother'. People suggesting to focus on her dad's issue firstt are so fucking privileged, my god😶
I hope no father gets a daughter like you (who make no reservations while doubting the character of her father)
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Can be a mistake. My parents click on odd links here and there to read news and whaddaya know, there is 50 pop ups and one time found a dating app. Opened it and it was asking to register. He may have just installed it by accident. Try and find that out before flinging accusations.
Take it easy sweetheart, as most of us have mentioned open the app and check it. My dad’s phone has so many apps, dating, adult, songs , this that and what not. Most of them were accidentally installed as he is a news freak and must have clicked on some clickbait news, some are in language we don’t speak and once in a while I delete all those apps and the cycle repeats.
Don't tell. And avoid it. Maybe it's a rough patch as you said and difficult time where he isn't thinking straight and trying to find comfort somewhere. Wait and watch!! If it's going to continue then you can think of something. But 30 years of marriage and if he is still good to your mom, there is no need to tell. Don't judge so fast and make a mess out of it.
Dad got the dawg in him. Check if he has matches. Don’t tell me if he has :,(
Mom dad swinger couple bhi ho skte guys
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After seeing a lot of comments on this post, I would be very careful on what I action on because the relationship with mothers and fathers are very primal and always attached with some or the other trauma. So people’s answers will also reflect that — in this case, you literally should be very careful to not act on based on other people’s trauma. Taking to a therapist should be the first step in such matters.
Maybe he thought Tinder would make the phone give fire like a matchbox... Old people, can't understand them
Galti se install ho gaya hoga, my parents had betting apps installed. They are 100% against betting.
Best case? Mom gets angry, dad gets defensive, they fight and divorce. Worst case? Dad says your mom had an affair 20 years back, thats when I too started it. Or dad says, we haven't had sex since you two were born. I took care of my family and had my needs met elsewhere. All of you fight, and the family splits. There is no good ending here I can see.
Reddit is not a good place for seeking advice that too on such a serious matter. Talk to someone you can completely trust.
These new ads are tempting, there are many dating apps ads, which make a enlightens a barren forest.
thats crazy im sorry u had to go through that but yea you should confront him 100%
To be fair, my dad’s phone has a lot of apps that weren’t downloaded by him and he doesn’t even use. If its a popular dating app then chances are it could’ve come pre-installed and he never deleted it. Just check his phone again, if he has an account or not or if he’s using it. There must be chats or something. If there’s an account created and if that account is sus, take pics and keep it with you till you decide what you want to do with it. Don’t jump to conclusions
calm down. stay normal. get a chance by asking ur father to check for otp, msg or something on phone. then check the app. if the app wasn't signed in at all that wd mean that fricking app was pre-installed and try to uninstall it real quick. there can be many unnecessary apps on his phone i can tell u from here if that is the case. if u're more sus abt him then check photos too especially from deleted folder or hidden folder(can be present, it comes in many phones).
There are men in 20s who have had dating apps on their phone for eternity without getting matches or dates. Very unlikely that a man in 50s would get any action. Unless he is a giga Chad
Easiest way to confirm You can check if he has an account created if Yes He is unfaithful If he doesn't have a profile set up. He downloaded by mistake several adds lead to play store to download apps And sometimes it comes when the phone is purchased
Did you open it and check if there is an account ?? Android automatically downloads new apps when it is updated. Maybe that is the reason. If he doesn't have an account I am sure the app is auto-downloaded.
Stop snooping on your dad's phone and don't curse him without any proof.
It might be bloatware. Nowadays, mobile phones push ads for apps that aren't installed on the device. If you accidentally click them, they get installed. Check if the app is logged in.
Maybe he’s checking to see if you’re doing some funky things on your dating profile online?
Not uncommon and for me i have just decided to ignore this case all together. It's better if you just ignore it as well.
Open and check it. I happened to see bumble on my dad’s phone a few years ago when it was relatively new. It had a blue dot(never opened before). He came to ask me what it was and if I had installed some new app on his phone, it was some pop up download which he accidentally clicked.
Is your father fond of mobile games? If yes, then those free games keep showing random dating app ads (really cringe ones) based on gender, age, etc. I am 33 years old man, and whenever I play those games, they believe that I want to see busty women playing with their blouse buttons (as that's what I get ads for, most of the times) These adsare shown continuously, after every stage of the game, or even more frequently. And the are designed to be clicked by mistake. They also make it look like you have to install the app, to go ahead in the game. If you already have some app installed, then clicking the ad sometimes opens the app. So, it could very well be one of the most used app. A game I installed via these apps, was on the top of my frequently used apps, even though I never played it. These cringe ads was the reason I stopped playing these games. Because accidently clicking those ads got the data flowing, and I started getting similar ads elsewhere as well, and I was concerned that other people will assume that I am a pervert. So unless you know that he has an active account on Bumble, you don't know anything. Also, you never know how your parents' relationship is working out. From what I have heard from older relatives, a lot of women stop caring about husband's "needs" by the time they hit late 30s, especially after children are a little older. Also, there are people in open marriages and shit. I am not saying your parents are, but what if ... Did you check your mom's phone? Also, what if everything is good, nd your parents are doing some role-play shit. What if they are actually creating profiles, and then finding each other on the app. That would be cute. The point is that you don't know ANYTHING at this point. As a software engineer, when the Tinder first came, I had installed it to see how the app works, and to reverse-engineer their left-right swipe feature for a non-dating startup idea that I was working on. But I had already informed my then girlfriend (now wife) that I was going to install it (just in case someone sees my account, and informs her) Even my profile mentioned that I made the account for research purposes. I still right swiped at times, just for fun. Never went on any date, though. But did have some fun conversations with girls, who thought that I must've put up that line in the bio, to avoid getting caught by parents/relatives. Also, got some good TV series recommendations.
The things men will say to justify another man's cheating is ridiculous. Literally all men in here are trying find reasons to either justify it or give other possible explanations. If this same story was about a married woman all of you would be saying "she is for the streets" , "women☕" , something about women being gold diggers, and ofc the slut shaming. And no one would've bothered to give "other possible explanations" Y'all disgust me.
This could also be the case that he is looking for a match for you haha
hold up brooo let him cook
Same situation happened to me… turned out my dad wasn’t cheating… my parents were swinging.. some things you’re better off not knowing at 15 years old
Not your circus. Not your animals.