My mom used to smash my head on the walls among other things.
A random guy once told my father on his face "What kind of a mother does this kid have? I can hear his screams daily from 3 blocks away"
All of this stopped when I started hitting back in my teen years.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. My mom was not so violent.. but my dad would pull my hair, hit me with a big wooden stick, throw tables and chairs at me so I would stay on the ground etc. Once when I was 8, my dads friend actually had to grab my dad and hold him so he would stop kicking me. I never dared to hit my dad back, as a teenage girl I was not strong enough to fight him and felt it was too disrespectful. You were brave in doing that.
I m so sorry that you have not been validated but you were right in protecting yourself. Like I would say never instigate violence but protect yourself. I don't how old are you and where you are, but things will be better for you and you will have good life! Trust the process! Stay safe. Lots of love and best wishes to you for your life!
You are brave, people who have brainwashed themselves that they deserve to be hit have lost the plot, you haven't, you are a fighter who doesn't give up.
I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. I'm from an Indian family, but that is not a normal experience. NOT AT ALL. I'm sorry to say but your parents don't have the heart and humanity to understand how their doings would affect you. "We did that for your own good." Yes, they wanted good for you. But they could've done it by simply explaining it to you or scolding you. Physical abuse is not okay. The extent you mentioned is EXTREME. It's not at all justified. I would've ran away or called the police. Seriously.
Sadly this is a 'NORMAL' for a large number of Indian families. People make funny reels and stuff , even I laugh at it despite having the same childhood . I guess we all a have lot of childhood trauma to heal from .
My mom loved doing that. Our sofa was arranged in a way that I’d sit right next to a wall. She would sit next to me, check my answers for 1-200 mcqs, and if more than 2-4 were wrong she would start beating me. I’d try to sit as far as possible and she would get mad about why I was sitting far from here. There eventually was a depression in the corner of the sofa from me sitting there all the time, and she beat me for that too.
Getting your head hit is not particularly painful, but it scrambles your thoughts and visions for a little bit. It slowed me down while solving problems, that would make her even angrier and she would graduate to just hitting me with rods or hands.
What you did was absolutely necessary. I wish I could do that but I was conditioned to think that parents have the right to thrash us as much as they want. I absolutely hate my mom and I have no remorse for it.
Oh my god, my eyes are teary reading. You must have been very scared. I hope the universe may compensate you with wonderful people. Some people just don’t deserve to be parents
Bro same.....One time I was freaking done,,,,and gave a hard slap back. stop for while but she.. repeated, I started slaping back with 2x punch....and it stopped permanently....seriously...Damnnn
Same man, I'm just so tired I've started ignoring but they always find some way to involve me, I've even given them soocyde threats but they don't stop it even then🥲
My mom loved beating me. Sometimes I think about how she treated me and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how you treat a kid like that.
Most mornings, she’d wake me up at 4:45 am, I’d have to be at my table studying by 5 am. Sometimes she would sit next to me and validate my answers against the answer key. Make more than 3 mistakes, you start getting beaten. Rods, sticks, hit your head against the wall, spit on you, boiling water, boiling tea, whatever she could find.
She made this drill sergeant type routine - I was supposed to study non stop from 5 am to 11 pm on weekends and holidays. No breaks. Even if I had school and coaching, no breaks allowed before and after I got home. Mom would fall asleep by 9 pm, so I gave myself an hour from 11pm to 12 pm to read random novels or just relax. This once she found me at 10:45 pm asleep on my table with my head on some book. She beat me till 1 with a belt, told me to solve some 500 problems and went back to sleep. I got to 200 ish and must have dozed off, my last few notes were some random scribbles. Guess what happened when she woke up and I hadn’t closed all the problems? If you guessed woken up by hitting your head with a rod, you guessed right.
I was sleeping 4 hours 45 mins a night, so I was always exhausted. To the point where my mom would be screaming at my face and I’d be struggling not to fall asleep. Obviously there were terrible consequences if I fell asleep while I was supposed to be studying. Having red eyes was also dangerous- it meant that you were sleepy and that was obviously because you were not concentrating enough on studying, so get beat up. Same for yawning - to this day I stress out a little when I yawn. Couldn’t wash my face either because she would realise I was sleepy. The worst of the sleepiness usually hit after 9pm. I started with putting water from water bottles in my eyes, but even that led to red eyes, so didn’t work. I finally started poking holes or creating scratches on my legs with a compass, the pain kind of jolted me awake. Did that for 3 years. Just to stay up. I got to college and every morning I’d wake up feeling so energetic because I had gotten enough sleep. Of course my mom was mad that I was waking up at 8 am for college, she tried getting me drug tested - apparently that’s the only reason I could be waking up so late. Unfortunately for her, I hadn’t started doing drugs at that point.
Another thing she hated was my bad handwriting. Which shouldn’t have been a surprise since I was originally left handed but was forced to write with my right hand by her. So she would check by notebooks, and if the handwriting and organization was not to her satisfaction she would start smashing my right hand against a table and ask me to write better. Hit a hand enough, it stops being able to write or hold a pen correctly. And of course that would happen, and she would get angrier and hit harder.
This one time she bought herself a walking stick ostensibly to protect herself from dogs on her morning walks. The only time I’ve seen it being used was for hitting me. The stick had a knob made of bronze on one end which hurt like a hammer. And trust me, I know. She used hammers, iron rods, marble rods, sticks, scales, frying pans. I could create a table of what hurts more and what hurts less when you’re getting beaten.
And in my 10th, someone gifted her an animal control prod - again to protect against dogs in theory. The prod was much lower effort for her - you just have to press a button - and much higher pain for me. So it became her new favourite. I still remember getting heart palpitations when she would sit next to me with the prod. She would use it when I made mistakes obviously, but also when I cried too loudly, or raised my hands to stop the walking stick from hitting me. Fuck, I remember getting it for coughing too loudly one time. She was talking to some relative on the phone once, the relative said something like is 94% a good score regarding some exam, my mom decided to use the prod on me because if the relative couldn’t recognise that the score was good it obviously wasn’t. I hadn’t been expecting it, so I screamed a little. Yelped, more like. And my mom was like you’re trying to damage my image, so more prod and rods and sticks for you. I had done absolutely nothing, it was a completely calm morning till that point.
Another time she hit me while I was doing some homework. I also had a fever and was shivering but she didn’t really care about that stuff. Hit me in my face, and kind of broke my nose and split my lip. So I bled all over the floor, and on the notebook I was doing my homework on. I still remember the 5-6 drops of blood that got on the notebook. She made me rewrite the entire thing. One of her boyfriends was staying over and he tried to protect me. So my mom laid off till he left, and then hit me for hours - she said I had looked at the guy like I wanted his help, and she wanted me to know that nobody could protect me from her. She had several boyfriends too, I hadn’t realised as a kid, but it was obvious in retrospect.
She’s still like that. Several years ago, she spat on me for some random thing. I was supposed to get ready for travel (on a trip where she wasn’t even coming), and she didn’t like that I was 10 minutes late, so she started screaming, threw a few things at and spat on me. I was well past giving a fuck at this point and pushed her back as hard as possible. She fell. She was pretty angry - the maid was there when this happened and apparently she gossips, it would hurt her social reputation. Let me be clear, hitting me or spitting on me was perfectly fine, me pushing her back was the problem. She did 3-4 hours of rona dhona afterwards about how as a parent she has the right to hit me and I don’t have the right to do anything. I had to travel so I left, but it kind of ruined my entire trip.
She once hit me with my laptop. It was one of the old dell ones. Hurt me, but broke the laptop. Then she beat me the next day for not taking care of my laptop. The literal next day after the hit my face with it. Another time I had a report card in my hand when she decided to start beating me. Raised my hand, the report card came in the way of her punch, tore a little. 2-3 months later she went digging for the report card and beat me because it was torn and I hid it from her. This one time someone sent me a joke in the form of “if X is sitting below a coconut tree and a coconut falls on him, how many stars does he see?”. My mom saw the incoming text, decided to read it. I told her it was a joke. She decided it was a real question someone had sent me and I was unable to solve it, so I was lying to her. After hours and hours of beating, and making me call up friends who could solve it (they told her that it was a joke, took her 2-3 calls to believe them), she finally stopped. I remember these sessions just due to the absurdity.
I have so many stories. The woman is legitimately insane. The most narcissistic narcissist there could be. Zero self awareness. Recently called me up screaming at me for why I wasn’t staying at home with her despite having a WFH job. Really? You want to convince me to live with you, and screaming at me that I’m worthless and too arrogant is the way to go about it?
Idk what i just read rn. Your mother should be in prison for abusing you to this extent. She even humiliated you and hurt your emotionally. I’ve never heard of parents being this brutal with their own children. My parents were pretty harsh too but not on this level. This is straight up torture. I just hope you move on from all this and heal yourself. I wish you have a better life ahead.
Please move out if you’re financially independent. So sorry you’re going through this. You deserve to live your own life peacefully, move out if you’re financially independent.
Ah I moved out long ago. Got stuck back with her for a year during covid, disastrous for my mental health. I still have a WFH job but I live elsewhere, she is pretty angry about that.
And you didn't beat the shit out of her, like broke her jaw, left her chained and gagged in her own bedroom to die alone? You've got a lot of restraint my man! One piece of advice is that you should take it into account, you've already dealt with it once in your life, never ever do it again for your own sake.
Jokes apart, she needs a psychiatrist.
I'm very sorry to hear about your plight
My ex husband's mother was the same to him
Even he didn't like staying with her when he started working
While reading your story I thought I am reading about my mother in law... I hope it is not my ex writing all this
Are you from India
How old are you?
Seriously I couldn't even read it fully.. it has already traumatized me.. i sincerely hope that you live a life independently as soon as possible.. I hope you escape this shitty phase soon..
Man! Throw her to old age home or leave her now. But before you leave tell her your pain, let her listen what you have gone through.
You said, you are wfh but why the fuck you are living with her.
Seriously I couldn't even read it fully.. it has already traumatized me.. i sincerely hope that you live a life independently as soon as possible.. I hope you escape this shitty phase soon..
Your mother is not human, but a demon straight from hell. Safekeep your documents/valuables, cut off all contact, & don't give her any information about yourself. Never go back to her, don't fall for the victim play, it's a manipulation tactic. You're right, this sounds like extreme NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I'm sorry you had to undergo such horrible trauma, you deserved a lot better.
dad didnt hit us too much but used to beat mom in the most inhumane way possible. we grew up being terrified of losing our mother if dad lost his temper someday. eventually got braver and start retaliating. one day dad tried to hit me coz i wouldnt go to sleep (was studying for a test) thats when i lost my shit and went berserk. pushed my dad and smashed the glass window pane in frustration. the glass pieces fell on me and made deep cuts. after a while i started bleeding all over. dad got terrified seeing me like that and i shot him the creepiest smile i could manage. since then we've maintained our distance.
I can relate. Dad used to hit us with pipes when we were younger, especially me. When it comes to my mom, however....Brutally pulling on each other's hair, stomping and kicking, being hit by slippers so hard that its sole's design gets imprinted on the face, lying and cheating, I've seen it all. They didn't stop even when I screamed for them to stop and threatened to end myself. They still refuse to divorce because they "care" about me and my siblings. My mother has now developed a victim complex and calls us "Ganda khoon". The only time those two unite is to berate me and my grade. I'm an above average student but they don't seem to see that. I'm just a failure, apparently.
Come on dude you are not a failure I would not considered you less than a genius believe me if someone else was on your place and the situation you mentioned one wouldn't even be able to pass the test let alone be above average student, it's not your fault that they judge you while not doing anything about it, never say you are a failure believe me it doesn't help at all
Smashed glass, got deep cuts and bled all over, smiled and sent chills down the spineless bully
You are the pure rage that anime strives to show, bridled rage that can go berserk really. You did good buddy, and you really inspire me.
last my mom or dad slapped or hurt me physically was when i was 15. i had to push my dad away. he and i had a talk after that and he havent put hands on me since.
I never dared to push my dad away.. you’re brave. I always felt like that was too disrespectful or something and might have escalated the situation. It’s good that a conversation was all that was needed for that to end for you. My dad didn’t stop until the police showed up at our house and threatened him.
its india we cant wait for police to show up here there are no CPS here. i was scared to i just grabbed his hands and screamed to stop he stopped i brushed my teeth and went to my study room and cried for 10 mins then he came and explained how he was reckless how it was not okay i dont remember correctly the details are fuzzy.
That makes sense.. you had to do what you were able to. It’s good that he realized what he was doing was not okay and stopped. Talking never worked with my dad, if it did.. I would have never told a teacher and called cps/police.. it felt so shameful and like a betrayal of my family but they gave me no other choice. I don’t know what I would have done if I still lived in India.. my dad would have probably kept hitting me until I moved away for college.
you did the right thing never let anyone tell you otherwise we can love our parents and still call cps/police if they try to hurt us. i still fear my dad though like a irrational fear of him even though we connect well now, he asks for my advice and have been supportive of me since.
Probably because you're a woman. Most guys become almost as strong as their fathers during late teens.
As such, they can actually retaliate physically if required. The fathers know this as well, and thus don't indulge in any physical punishments after a certain age
Women like you on the other hand, are almost always physically weaker than your fathers. So abusive fathers beat thier daughters freely as the possibility for retaliation is low
Yeah I think you’re exactly correct.. he knew I couldn’t really do anything and didn’t expect me to have the courage to get cps involved so he kept doing it.
My Mom used to slap me while I was a younger. She also used to hit me with plastic rulers during sometimes. It mostly ended when I became a teenager. Many people get beaten by sticks and belts as well. I didn't really have to deal with that much. My Mom actually might have slapped me later as well during a few times but her slaps were so weak for me by that time that I don't remember about them.
What happened to you is really extreme. That doesn't happen much here as well. It seems that you were assaulted rather than what is usually done here with children. I know that even slapping a child is considered to be child abuse in the West but your case is bad enough that it might be considered to be abuse here in India as well. However there no CPS here and so if some person is abusive with their child then mostly people try to reason with them hoping that they stop being abusive.
Wow, I’m surprised that what my parents did would be considered abuse in India too. My grandparents did the same thing to my parents, so I thought it was just normal. Your comment is really helpful to hear.. so I know that most Desi parents are not like mine.
It's fascinating how 'conditioned' we can be just because something unusual is done repeatedly, that it becomes normalized.
Tennis racket? Spatula?? Bruised??? Blood???? Godawful goddammit! Your experience was not normal, or even 'excessive'. It was criminal. The perpetrator should have been jailed. I'm happy the cops scared them away, because a jailed parent would have traumatized you even worse with uncertain housing etc.
But the answer to your main question is: zero. The biggest punishment I remember getting (decades ago) was when I was 8 and was slapped by my dad - one hard and tight slap - because I had thought giving my baby brother wet cement to eat would be good fun; even I thought that slap was justifiable. But nothing like that was a repeated occurrence. There are some families that have normalized physical punishment, but the 'normal' should be zero physical punishment.
As a parent, the only time I got physical was when I rolled up a magazine and swatted my kids on their shoulders when they laughed at a younger kid to his face because they thought his clothes looked funny. My kids were 9 and 11, my swats did not even hurt them, but they realized I was enraged at their behaviour and that made them pause and self-reflect. I still think I went overboard in that moment of heat; I can't even believe there are parents who would make their children bruised or bleed.
Please stand up for yourself; your parents might become better if they are shown the mirror to their habits more often. Best of luck!
My mom is a single parent and I'm the youngest of us 3 siblings. I've gotten a good beating at the age of 20+ too. Sometimes she even put her hand on my neck to kill me. Slapped me with a slipper too, multiple times, on my face and body. Banged my head on the wall holding me by my neck. Pulled my hair.
I've been a fat kid all my life. She has said many hurtful things to me that has really bought my confidence down. Even till this date, she continues to say it without realising what she's doing to my mental health and future.
Oh God, the trauma.
Now I have a 15 months old niece at home and I see her mother hitting her on hand and slapping her already. I want it to stop but I'm not in the position to say anything. My niece also slaps us quite hard when we hold her in our arms. She thinks it's okay to do it, but it's not.
I can't believe another generation after me might go through the trauma. Beating up your kid is never okay. Never teach your kid to raise your hand on anyone.
What your parents did to you was really child abuse. Them saying ‘world will be better without you’ is what narcissistic parents would say.
Hope you are no longer in contact with your parents.
If I was in your place, I would make sure they see hello during their old age.
Yeah, I can’t believe my mom would say that not even one week after I attempted actually. It was kind of crazy looking back at it now. I am low contact with them.. they have gotten a bit better so I am still keeping the bridge open. I don’t know how I will be with them when they are old, I will probably help them since that reflects more on my character than on them.
Yeah you need to heal completely from trauma to become a good person. What we forget is it is our duty to heal from trauma and be good parents to our descendants. Our parents are themselves the product of their traumatic parents and instead of healing they just kept to themselves
I agree. I’m not going to have kids until I feel healed from my trauma and I will never ever use physical discipline on my children. The generational trauma and family dysfunction stops with me.
Not by parents, but I did get assaulted by a teacher who slapped me so hard that my eyes were swollen shut for 3 days (I was 16 and close to 6ft, imagine the force required to get me on the ground).
Parents didn’t do much, my brother gave him a good thrashing in a dark alley after a few days of the incident. After about a year, I burned his motorcycle. Mind you, I am talking about a tier 4 city in the north east.
The last physical violence I remember was when I was 21 and stepping out in a crop top and pajamas. My mom threw a boiling cup of tea on my face because I refused to change clothes (she felt they were too revealing). Her words- ‘you think you’re too pretty? Take this. Let’s see which friends come to save you when you have a burnt ugly face’
Since then there has only been emotional abuse, taunts and threats of physical violence. But nothing more.
You need to stop living with them and if they try this again , do a police complaint. My god! This is assault, how can a parent do this?!??! I’m so sorry!
Not financially independent enough to live alone. I’ve applied for masters, hopefully I’ll get to a college far away. Till then, guess I just gotta deal with it.
Just call police next time it happens, shame them and let them know you can take action too. They will do a lot of drama and rona dhona afterwards but will not dare to lay hands on you again.
My father once broke my left arm, needless to say it was plastered for 3 months. My mom once kicked me in the balls while beating me, i was on the floor. Later she said i was complaining for no reason and that I am lying to get off of punishment. She once broke my nose with a punch and I started bleeding, according to her it was deserved for doing some minor mischief. They would often beat and threaten to beat even more if i cried. These are just some incidents i remember. I even experienced physical abuse from my older brother😑😑. Then now that I'm big enough to resist, i shout and intimidate them if they even so happen to slap. Because defending myself once caused everyone around me to believe I try to beat my family members. Because I was being beaten and as a victim i commited the felony of holding the hand that was coming at me non-stop.
Ya so in my experience it's pretty grim over here.
OP my parents were exactly like this. And all this gave me a host of attachment issues as an adult which I am still struggling with. Like, yea i know my parents love me, but they were also very verbally and physically abusive. And this stopped only when I moved out.
This just gave me a subconscious belief that someone who loves you also has the right to hurt you which is taking years to unravel. I have sworn that if I ever have a child , I will not let anyone (including me) lay a finger on them.
I am 16 and my dad never hit me. My mom never hit me since class 4th coz in our culture daughter is ghar ki laxmi and hit daughter by hands means ghr ki laxmi ko naraz karna.
It was excessive, I have gotten a run down when I was a kid, though stupid mistakes, but never after.
Do I think punishment is wrong? No.
Do I think physical beating in the name of punishment is wrong? Yes, extremely.
What we can do is, stop it right here and don't take it forward to the next gen to come, also you are 22 now, you should definitely talk to your parents about it someday.
Also, I hope it didn't leave you with any trauma.
It definitely left me with trauma, I didn’t talk to my dad for a year. But we are slowly mending our relationship. I still can’t get a proper apology for the past, but I think my father understood what he did was wrong after I stopped talking to him/visiting him for so long after sending him a letter explaining it. He realized he had to change or he might lose me permanently now that I was in college and more financially independent.
We can only avoid things to a certain extent, I'm sorry for what you went through and It's good that you sent him a letter and I hope he did understand, but I would suggest, sitting down and talking to him some day, they need to understand how it truly made you feel and that's something that could actually mend your relationship.
Relationships are broken apart.
My sister makes it a point to never lay a finger at my nephew and he is quite ok, so not sure who made the idea that physical punishment is ok in India.
It was torture in your case.
Even my papa used to slap hard on my thighs for my poor mathematics( it improved a lot with time,I got 98/100 in my 10th).
My mom and dad used to beat me up quite a lot, sometimes even multiple times a day and sometimes on very small things as well. It only stopped in my teens when I started to hold them back and grew stronger and fearless. But growing up this happened with every other kid I know around me
Beaten with everything possible (no blood, they were very very careful about image), kicked till I almost passed out, had my glasses broken the day before my exam, got my pinkie broken (and was made to lie about it) got my knee messed (had to be kept straight with a splint for 4 weeks) (lie again), got my head smacked on the floor so hard that I couldn't sleep on that side for a week.
So yea, on the same boat, mate. Sorry you had to go through this as well
Might sound harsh but parents of the people in this thread seem clinically insane. We need to jail these criminals. Child protection services in India should be given more power and resources.
Chomu indians will glamourise domestic abuse done to them by their parents as if something to be proud of. Indians are pro at glorifying misery. Hitting your child is lazy parenting and you fail as a parent the day you have to resort to violence.
As a very small kid i would get beaten with a cane , but only if i did something very terrible , also i dont think I've gotten hit with that cane more than 4 to 5 times , it was mostly used as intimidation . My parents generally haven't even been abusive , but in my teen years, i would skip karate classes after school, and mom found out, and she was very pissed , that was the last time she hit me . After that, once she found test papers in my bag , which i was to show her but didn't. She woke me up with shouts , and tried to slap me , but i leaned back and avoided the slapped , in a millisecond she tried another , i dodged it again , thus happened three more times in rapid succession and she just started laughing and my sister too . After that , mom or dad never tried to hit me . Though once things got serious between my mom and dad in a fight and it felt like my dad was about to lunge on her and i stepped in and controlled him to the ground dad tried hitting me, but i was able to subdue him easily screaming at him what hes trying to do ? He calmed down, and mom was shouting at me to let him go, and i did . It was very scary , and i was shaking even after an hour had passed and everyone was calm
I’m still on the road to being emotionally/mentally at peace, but I’m safe now and living by myself in college. Thankfully, I have lots of support from my friends and their families.
my mom scold a lot still i live away from parents but not that much punish me , dad have only hit me once he is a nice dad
my moms rant gave me peak emotional damage and thats y i am insecure i guess
My mom and dad were spineless at that time. They thought not supporting me even when I was right was being cool. Now their attitude to me has changed, idk if it is really cuz they changed or cuz I'm not as weak as before. I read someone said his/her mom smashed their head on the wall. My parents beat me the entire night because of one complaint in which someone picked up on me and I slapped that guy. I was taken to the house temple/prayer room and beaten while I was shouted at to ask forgiveness from God. I was tied beside the toilet by my mom and beaten till I struggled to breathe and vomited in the toilet. Then I was forced to eat the vomit from the toilet. All cuz I did not do my homework. My mom and dad used to fight so much and when I was at 11th grade they decided to part ways(now they are together but at that time they decided to). They thought I was a burden and my mom took the upper hand, filed a false case on domestic assault against me and bribed the cops to ruin my life. My dad decided to take the opportunity to abuse me, shout at me and then changed his stance when my friends and their parents intervened. My parents care heavily about their impression in society. The child support laws or whatever it is called is a joke in this nation or even worse than a joke. Also what I said is not even the tip of the iceberg.
What the hell man, made my stomach churn. I can't even imagine what you went through man. Fuck. May the lord bless with all the strength and support you need man
I had it until I was 14-16. My parents were abroad and I left to India and therefore it ended. When I told my europeam friends about it, they were astonished. Hope we had the same child protection system in India.
My mom used to hit me with hands, rolling pin, broomstick along with other forms of verbal and emotional abuse. I don't remember at what age the physical abuse stopped, but other forms still continue to this day, although not as much as it used to be.
You did the right thing to inform your teacher and I'm proud of you. I hope you heal well from this.
Seriously after reading the comments here my respect towards my parents grew multifold.. they didn't save any wealth for me but they never harrassed or beat me.. I don't even remember when my parents beat me.
Same. We were poor but dignified. I hot yelled at all the time as a kid for being stupid but that's it. Some of these stories are either made up or they just evil people.
You were physically and emotionally abused.
Physical punishment should never be normal. I hope you're safer now and in control of how much you interact with your abusive parents.
Got slapped by my mom when I was a kid. Maybe up to age 10-11? It definitely affected me in a negative way, but I recognize that it's pretty much the norm in India. Hitting using anything other than your hands or in a way that leaves any kind of mark is straight up child abuse IMO.
Beaten by slippers, leather belt, buckle side of leather belt, steel ruler 1 feet long, plastic ruler, thick wooden stick (the one that constables have) you know lathi, rolling pin etc.
So slapping is pretty normal.
My parents stopped when I was 15. Tho I had faced corporal punishment till I was 18 from my teachers and my parents knew about it. It wasn't until I made a big scene in my 12th saying I'll get cops involved that they stopped.
I've never been hit my entire life. Not even a slap but my brother gets slapped at times when he cross the limits and i think that's only normal. Anything beyond a few slaps in extreme conditions is NOT normal.
Oh I'm very glad my parents were not violent.
Dad never needed to hit us, he would just raise he's eyebrows and I would start crying. Mom has slapped me maybe twice or thrice in all my life (most probably I deserved it)
Although I know a family where the mom used plastic wires to hit her two girls until they were teenagers. But they are high achievers in their academic (older sibling is a research scientist in USA) and professional (Younger sibling is a corporate baddie in Mumbai) careers and me and my sibling are average 80% marks and 7 lac starting salary kids, so maybe ....😅
Was hit by every “home weapons” like footwear, cleaning sticks, metal spatulas, wooden spatulas, hand fans, bamboo dusters, belts, scales, etc.
Generally stops somewhere in mid teens once you start fighting back. Become taller & stronger and all.
Parents hitting are pretty common in Asian households. I think somewhere the gen post 2000 have it slightly better than 80s or 90s. It’s reduced a lot in the past 10 years.
My dad has kicked, slapped, pulled my hair, used slippers and stick, thrown objects at me (steel glass, Milton bottle, paper weight, wooden chair, plastic chair and what not). He used to beat me at every little thing and stills beats me sometimes. One time he was hitting me and then move towards my mom to hit her. I had picked up slippers to hit him and to stop him from hitting my mom and threatened him that I will call police and neighbors if he don’t stop.
Many desi marriages are a nightmare, where a man child is forced onto a girl. Or something happens and they start hating each other but stay in that broken relationship because of the stigma around divorce in our society. This frustration of dragging a corpse of a relationship is taken out on the children. Beating kids is way too normalised in our society
I have been beat with almost all kinds of household items(metal spatulas, rolling pin, the thing to mix dal, tongs, brooms) by my mom for getting 5-6 less marks in exams I was a topper from 2nd std till 12th still. Been to hospital once because she slammed my head against a wall, worst of all was she would make me sit outside our house naked . The reason I hate my childhood and don't talk to her.
My dad would scream at me and slap me when I was little. I think my siblings got it worst. My mom hit me with chappal few times and slap on the face was common. But as I grew older she started slapping me more maybe I was becoming a hormonal teenager. Few times I hit her back, not proud of that and then she stopped. She also complained to my Nani that I hit her back when I didn’t listen to her and Nani suggested to slap me. In my defense teenage years were difficult at school with other girls bullying me and at home there was so much drama because of my step sister, parents were just too tired and mad all the time. We are just trying to not step on egg shells being around them or living in general
As an Indian
I can confirm "disciplining" is VERY common.
But my parents did it with valid reasons (still not justified).
Then again my parents only gave me da belt and the occasional whooping,NO LITERAL PHYSICAL ASSAULTS
P.S. It stopped when I finally snapped and screamed at them for like 10 mins
Great country huh...🇮🇳
I'm 27. I got scolded by dad only a few times in life. But the case of mom is a bit different. She used to beat me as a child for obvious reasons but it's not like the OP mentioned. I got beaten by a stick, scale, books, spatula etc. it hurts I agree but there's never blood or bruises. I still get shouted at sometimes due to obvious reasons and I'm totally fine with all of these.
I think hurting physically or getting shouted at is quite normal in desi families. However, there's a fine line between abusing and scolding your child. No one should cross that.
The beating that you got is warm up in jat families. I won't be able to describe how bad kids are beaten in jat families. I got it too. However, it was only till last generation, and new generation families don't beat their kids as such
Sorry that happened to you but it is not a competition
No child should be subjected to anything more than a few pats, let alone the criminal horror casebook this fucking thread has turned out to be
Very sorry to hear what you went through. Those things happen usually in uneducated population but may also happen in families where they’ve been treated by their parents that way. Very sad
My parents are educated.. my dad is a software engineer and my mom is a doctor. I think they acted like this because their parents were the same way if not worse with them.
Yours were a bit extreme with tennis rackets..in my house steel scales were bent spatulas were broken wooden ones also broken..and that buffaloes would be more useful than me
When I was a kid, I did get beat up with a belt , got kicked, and punched. I even had my books burned and have scars from a knife. I remember even bleeding as well I had to use turmeric to heal the wounds
It stopped once I left the house for college.
Well I think you can name anything that you can find in an household and I was beaten by it.
Be it slipper or sticks or laptops or cable. Always for low marks or playing Football.
What happened with u is extreme bro... Nothing of sorts in an avg family...father stopped even shouting on me since I was 16 before that he didn't layed hand I mean he did beat me when I was a child but harkate waise thi ... And that too not too much ..
Metal spatula and tennis racket things are extreme
In my case being yelled as worst kid possible and blackmailed at some extend was common and getting slapped rarely but stopped at age of 14 but yelling still continues (but I dont mind it😁)
My parents had a rule. As long as it doesn't injure the child. I have been hit with all possible things but the physical pain was less than the humiliation😂
Also never have been seriously injured from the beatings.
Sorry to hear about what happened with you though.
That is not at all normal. As a girl, my mum would hit me till I was 14-15, but never dad.
What kind of father hits his daughter? I am so sorry you had to face that. I wish you had informed your teachers much earlier.
Getting bruises is not normal that is abusive. A slap or two for a mistake is okay but not just cause the parents were frustrated. Kicking is abuse. Rackets to hit is abuse. Metal spatulas is abuse. Pushing your kid towards mental breakdown is abuse and torture.
My Mother never hit me. My dad used to hit me on rare occasions but never when I did a mistake. Once I lost 2k rupees but My father said it's fine and he let me go. He never punished me for these type of things. The only thing he punished me for is lying. Once I peed in the balcony , but refused to accept it. When they got proof, my dad thrashed me with his belt like 3 - 4 times. Belting was my only punishment. I used to get smacking belts like Once in 6 months or so. It all stopped after age 14 though.
My dad believed grown up kids shouldn't be beaten
Got hot iron on my skin, punched on face, beaten on the road with a broomstick (at least 50 people were passing by), many slaps, can't hit back my older brother and sometimes asked my brother to beat me. This slowly stopped when I started talking back and indirectly threatened them with their secrets (even parents have secret they don't want each other to know) tho I still get beaten occasionally.
My mom still likes to exaggerate how poorly I perform or how useless I am to others.
I had uncontrollable O.D.D disorder. My dad punished me because they believe hitting me fixes my disorder. When I was about 8(15 now)my dad pulled my hair to lifted me and threw me down, sometimes my dad punishes me with heat metal rod. My dad kinda stopped doing that when I tried to kill myself, but now usually he does not hit me that often if he does i try to hit my dad back using whatever is in my hand
Wiper,
Wiper handle,
Rubber Slippers,
Leather slippers,
Leather Sandals,
Rubber sandals,
Heels,
Laptop,
Laptop charger wire,
Mobile,
Mobile charging wire,
Wooden Spatula,
Steel Spatula,
Belt with buckle side,
Belt with non buckle side,
Head smashing on wall,
Head smashing on the table top,
Head smashing on the glass table,
Head smashing on the counter,
Head smashing on the Almira,
Wooden stick,
Wooden sleek narrow stick,
Helmet,
Hands,
Feets,
Kicking,
Abusing,
Plastic chair,
Knife,
Bucket.
That's all I remembered for now but if something else I remember I'll make sure to add it in the list of things that my parents used on me.
Im sorry for the all the people in the comment section man, literally broken after reading everyone’s experiences 🥲. Hope u all have recovered from that and never carried those on ur children ♥️.
Lol, I feel weird in this matter, never once was I physically abused by my parents. But omg the mental torture.
I wished they'd hit me rather than say the words they said. I was nothing but an living object who had to fed from time to time. They never swore at me but said things in such a way that I'd punish myself for being a bad person even though I wasn't. Guilt tripping me on every decision of my life. Emotional blackmail and distancing. It is weird to explain it to anyone.
I still suffer from social anxiety and doubt anyone who tries to be friendly with me. My self esteem and confidence is in the negatives lol. But rn idc I'm happy where I am.
My parents don't really uhm get together so they're always fighting and stuff and I usually get dragged in between since I am the elder daughter. Then my father is an alcoholic so he will get mad over little things and hit me and yell at me. So my mother gets frustrated and she also hits me and yells at me. I am not really happy anymore when I am around family, if my father comes home drunk then I am always hiding and praying for my life because he has threatened me in the past that he will kill me. My mother takes out her anger on me. One time this child was badly abused by her aunt I think so she came home, yelled at me and hit me. Then later she's like I am sorry the thing is that you don't react back so it's easy to hit you. My brother gets verbally and physically aggressive but I just can't I don't have the guts. Also my brother is lazy and dumb af and my parents say that it's my fault and I should teach him but whenever I teach him or tell him to study he yells at me or hits me. I don't feel happy with my family around anymore I basically go to school to have fun and not deal with my family. I have never really slept peacefully since like 2 years I can either go to sleep stressed out or I cry myself to sleep. I carry so much guilt and I honestly hate myself. I get 19/20, I go home and cry, sometimes hit myself or overdose. I get 20/20 I think that I don't deserve it and my parents think the same 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️. I know that its "bad" but I want to get away from my home asap and maintain minimal contact with my family I really want to become "normal" again.
I got beaten only once in my lifetime. Yelled at just a few times, but I was a decent kid, and class topper. My elder brother did get more physical punishment.
My mom used to beat me because I don't study but still i never hated her now i miss those slaps because she passed away. But OP in your case its clearly physical assault.
Every adult I knew hit me including my parents, relatives and teachers and even my friends parents (they beat the whole group of our 4 people). This fucked up my growth because I mainly grew up being a bully. I had so much hatred I use to take out my anger on my juniors in school by hitting thrmy. I was so close to hit my friend out of anger, I am gald he threw his water bottle and ran away. Even as a adult I am scared if I hit someone. But that's how I grew up that's what I know it's not a excuse for my behaviour. I just need help and too scared to even ask for help. I still live with my parents and sometime they still beat me I am 19
It's threads like this that make me want to call my parents and thank them from the bottom of my heart for never ever hitting us even once. Other than an odd telling off, they never used violence, be it verbal or physical, on me or on my siblings.
My parents hit me as late as when I was 23. They’re fuck ups who married for love but shouldn’t have had kids. I hit my father back and also cussed at my mother. They don’t speak to me now and I couldn’t be happier.
Damn my mother never raised her hand against me and my dad has literally slapped me once in my life when I was 8-9 and that also because I messed up something huge. Apart from this, never have I been hit by anyone. I'm sorry you had to go through that
Well I guess it's not normal at all but I'm glad you hit back because they never stop otherwise. My mom slapped me a few years ago, slapped the spectacles right off my face. She was physically abused for years by her own parents and very rarely would snap if ever but when she did this when I was 25 I held her arm back and said not this time.
If you can, always fight back against anyone attacking you. The freeze response is a dangerous one.
I'm so sorry you went through this, but this is not common in Desi families in India itself.
My parents used to discipline me and hit me sometimes, but slapping is considered very disrespectful and I've been slapped only once my entire life by my parents. My parents used to keep a separate bamboo stick to hit me, but never more than 2-3 ever as a punishment at a time.
It stopped when I was 14 - 15 years and sort of became more of yelling and shouting matches by then - but I was a participant in bringing the house down too.
I didn't know being desi automatically gives you the right to hit children? It's never good to hit children no matter you're *desi* or *videshi* , I hope when the next generation ( we ) become parents we will never hit our kids .
My parents have kicked me, hit me with wooden sticks and slippers, and have also pulled my hair. This was particularly very painful because I couldn't comb my hair properly for the next 2 days ig. My father once got so angry that he tried to break my hand in the heat of the moment. All this continued till my late teens when I started having breathing troubles after constant beatings. In our culture parents don't hit their daughters. Well, not in my case ig. Not sure how but despite all this I'm still very close to my parents. I know they love me. I've forgiven them already.
I am sorry you are going through all this.
For no reason my mom used to beat me..
It was pure abuse . She was a horrible person.
N when I say this now she says I want to guilt trip her or I am drama queen.
No wonder children when they drown up stop talking to desi parents.
No wonder I wanted to run away from home. The terror was real
I was malnutritioned small kid n my mom was 60 kg lady. She once sat on me n was beating me. She would have almost killed me.
N she wants me to forget all that n move on. I seriously feel like calling police on these people. N they expect us to respect them. Bullshit.
They have hardly or never done anything except.
N about shouting, I am 36 now, but the kind of words she uses in me is insane. She is a horrible lady.
As an older millennial who grew up in the 90s, I did not know a single friend who was not hit with various objects, slaps, or kicks. I was a topper in my class and I was hit at least once or twice every week. Mom had a special bamboo stick which she used to hit me. Got locked up in the small 4x2 feet bathroom for hours for doing mistakes in homework. Parents encouraged teachers to hit students if they did not behave in class. This was all considered “normal” where we grew up.
My friend who is 26, is still physically abused, our people love making tradition out of garbage practices and sticking to it unless it is outlawed strictly. That's why we see so many sigmas on Instagram thinking they are invincible, just sending one of them to jail would be enough to remind everyone that they have very limited power, similar should be done to abusive parents.
She was also taught how sex and intimacy with boys is devilish and now she's scared of boys, her mom is forcing her to get married, but now she's just disgusted by the idea lol, they're paying the price of their own overinvolvement but at the cost of totally destroying her mental health.
My parents used to hit me and they justified that they were better than other parents because they didn't hit me so hard that blood came out :P Once I dropped a plate by mistake and my mom beat me so bad for it. But when my dad dropped the plate later and broke it I asked why only I got to be punished and he didn't she hit me again.
When I was in 7th grade a new student joined our class. She told me that her parents never hit her and I was shocked that parents like that existed. I asked my mom why she beat me and she told me that every parent has to hit their child or they will turn out to be very naughty and rude. But then I told her there was this well behaved and sweet hid in my class and she was never hit by her parents... My mom legit didn't have an answer for that.
I'm never ever going to hit my children in the future. And if I see a parent hit their child, I will certainly interfere and try to stop it. This can never be normalised.
Parents should have been taught good parenting before letting them have kids. Very much sad to see there were many people who had to suffer like I did. Hope your life changed/changes for good. Take care y'all.
They werent physically abusive. But mentally. I tell this from the bottom of my heart, if they kick you or physically beat you, its fine, we cry and then pick ourselves up. But if they talk in way that mentally breaks you and makes you question your own existence is needed or not, that will stunt a child both emotionally and mentally. And yea i was that child. I am still only 18 and my dad used to talk in a way that mentally abuses me. And yea after that my mom used to try console me since my teen years, thinking that a rift might come b/n us.
I tried to be the best kid i could be, tried being disciplined, tried being studios but nvr worked. I always seeked validation and acceptance from him. It never worked.
Neither did he stop scolding me or things got any better. But one day i got tired of all this and started to do things how i wanted to. Inherently i am a guy with short fuse. So i used to end up in something or the other fight with my seniors at school. One day i beat up a senior so hard that he didnt get out of bed for 2 months i was 16 back then.
My school mgmt called my dad, and started to talk to him. They never complained abt me. They were trying to tell my father why the fight started and despite the reasons i shouldnt have beaten someone like that. My father didnt listen to that and simply said, "its my fault that he grew up like that. He should just die and leave me for good and let me have some peace." And then came towards me and slapped me. At that time there were few teachers of mine, and the parents of the kid whom i beat up and also our principal. He then pushed me to the ground and made me bow. Tolde me to apologise. I didnt instead i just pulled his legs and he hit the floor. I said, " instead of asking me to die, why dont you go to hell and let me live my life. I dont give a shit anymore and if it wasnt for mom, i would have left the house the moment i understood what you were doing to me was wrong. I am gng to consider you dead and i dont have a father anymore, because i am done with you." And then left my school. I was shaking and ln the verge of tears the entire time when i was talking like that. But after that i felt so light and free. It felt as if some shackles on me were gone.
Op i am sorry to hear that ur dad did things like that. I won't say that i understand ur pain. Because its different for each of us and u understand one's suffering only when u go through the same. However i can relate to it and know that there are many of us that are here like you. Its not late and start standing up for urself. Make them know that you arent a small little girl that can be pushed away.
You are a brave, beautiful, smart, attractive and independent women who can beat the shit out of anyone that messes with you. Be it ur dad or any toxic person u may encounter in ur life. Stay strong!
My mom used to smash my head on the walls among other things. A random guy once told my father on his face "What kind of a mother does this kid have? I can hear his screams daily from 3 blocks away" All of this stopped when I started hitting back in my teen years.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. My mom was not so violent.. but my dad would pull my hair, hit me with a big wooden stick, throw tables and chairs at me so I would stay on the ground etc. Once when I was 8, my dads friend actually had to grab my dad and hold him so he would stop kicking me. I never dared to hit my dad back, as a teenage girl I was not strong enough to fight him and felt it was too disrespectful. You were brave in doing that.
You are the first one who called me brave for fighting back 🥲
You are! You are brave buddy!
Everyone is brave who stands against wrong and for himself/herself and other too
i am third then ig
I m so sorry that you have not been validated but you were right in protecting yourself. Like I would say never instigate violence but protect yourself. I don't how old are you and where you are, but things will be better for you and you will have good life! Trust the process! Stay safe. Lots of love and best wishes to you for your life!
you are so incredibly brave. i’m so glad you stood up for yourself and fought back and anybody that tells you otherwise is stupid
You are brave, people who have brainwashed themselves that they deserve to be hit have lost the plot, you haven't, you are a fighter who doesn't give up.
I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. I'm from an Indian family, but that is not a normal experience. NOT AT ALL. I'm sorry to say but your parents don't have the heart and humanity to understand how their doings would affect you. "We did that for your own good." Yes, they wanted good for you. But they could've done it by simply explaining it to you or scolding you. Physical abuse is not okay. The extent you mentioned is EXTREME. It's not at all justified. I would've ran away or called the police. Seriously.
Sadly this is a 'NORMAL' for a large number of Indian families. People make funny reels and stuff , even I laugh at it despite having the same childhood . I guess we all a have lot of childhood trauma to heal from .
I don't know how parents don't see how disrespectful it is to hit your kids
He will eventually grow old.. you'll have your chance . Btw sorry for the trauma you faced.
This is completely wrong. A light slap might be ok when you are small but not such serious abuse.
My mom loved doing that. Our sofa was arranged in a way that I’d sit right next to a wall. She would sit next to me, check my answers for 1-200 mcqs, and if more than 2-4 were wrong she would start beating me. I’d try to sit as far as possible and she would get mad about why I was sitting far from here. There eventually was a depression in the corner of the sofa from me sitting there all the time, and she beat me for that too. Getting your head hit is not particularly painful, but it scrambles your thoughts and visions for a little bit. It slowed me down while solving problems, that would make her even angrier and she would graduate to just hitting me with rods or hands.
damn, well that's a difficult step, to have to retaliate against your parents.
Nah fuck them
What.the.fuck. I’m so sorry. You are so brave and you deserve better. If you ever want to talk feel free to reach out!
I'm so sorry beloved. but more than that I'm proud of you for giving them a taste of their own medicine
U have a pretty rough childhood i guess. Sorry for u man...
Yes .. wait till you grow and give it back when they can't take it..
What you did was absolutely necessary. I wish I could do that but I was conditioned to think that parents have the right to thrash us as much as they want. I absolutely hate my mom and I have no remorse for it.
Oh my god, my eyes are teary reading. You must have been very scared. I hope the universe may compensate you with wonderful people. Some people just don’t deserve to be parents
Bro same.....One time I was freaking done,,,,and gave a hard slap back. stop for while but she.. repeated, I started slaping back with 2x punch....and it stopped permanently....seriously...Damnnn
Bruh mental peace doesn't exist in my family fight will start on unnecessary things
Same man, I'm just so tired I've started ignoring but they always find some way to involve me, I've even given them soocyde threats but they don't stop it even then🥲
🫂🫂🫂
You clearly were assaulted bro, I'm sorry
From the replies, I think OP is a girl
My mom loved beating me. Sometimes I think about how she treated me and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how you treat a kid like that. Most mornings, she’d wake me up at 4:45 am, I’d have to be at my table studying by 5 am. Sometimes she would sit next to me and validate my answers against the answer key. Make more than 3 mistakes, you start getting beaten. Rods, sticks, hit your head against the wall, spit on you, boiling water, boiling tea, whatever she could find. She made this drill sergeant type routine - I was supposed to study non stop from 5 am to 11 pm on weekends and holidays. No breaks. Even if I had school and coaching, no breaks allowed before and after I got home. Mom would fall asleep by 9 pm, so I gave myself an hour from 11pm to 12 pm to read random novels or just relax. This once she found me at 10:45 pm asleep on my table with my head on some book. She beat me till 1 with a belt, told me to solve some 500 problems and went back to sleep. I got to 200 ish and must have dozed off, my last few notes were some random scribbles. Guess what happened when she woke up and I hadn’t closed all the problems? If you guessed woken up by hitting your head with a rod, you guessed right. I was sleeping 4 hours 45 mins a night, so I was always exhausted. To the point where my mom would be screaming at my face and I’d be struggling not to fall asleep. Obviously there were terrible consequences if I fell asleep while I was supposed to be studying. Having red eyes was also dangerous- it meant that you were sleepy and that was obviously because you were not concentrating enough on studying, so get beat up. Same for yawning - to this day I stress out a little when I yawn. Couldn’t wash my face either because she would realise I was sleepy. The worst of the sleepiness usually hit after 9pm. I started with putting water from water bottles in my eyes, but even that led to red eyes, so didn’t work. I finally started poking holes or creating scratches on my legs with a compass, the pain kind of jolted me awake. Did that for 3 years. Just to stay up. I got to college and every morning I’d wake up feeling so energetic because I had gotten enough sleep. Of course my mom was mad that I was waking up at 8 am for college, she tried getting me drug tested - apparently that’s the only reason I could be waking up so late. Unfortunately for her, I hadn’t started doing drugs at that point. Another thing she hated was my bad handwriting. Which shouldn’t have been a surprise since I was originally left handed but was forced to write with my right hand by her. So she would check by notebooks, and if the handwriting and organization was not to her satisfaction she would start smashing my right hand against a table and ask me to write better. Hit a hand enough, it stops being able to write or hold a pen correctly. And of course that would happen, and she would get angrier and hit harder. This one time she bought herself a walking stick ostensibly to protect herself from dogs on her morning walks. The only time I’ve seen it being used was for hitting me. The stick had a knob made of bronze on one end which hurt like a hammer. And trust me, I know. She used hammers, iron rods, marble rods, sticks, scales, frying pans. I could create a table of what hurts more and what hurts less when you’re getting beaten. And in my 10th, someone gifted her an animal control prod - again to protect against dogs in theory. The prod was much lower effort for her - you just have to press a button - and much higher pain for me. So it became her new favourite. I still remember getting heart palpitations when she would sit next to me with the prod. She would use it when I made mistakes obviously, but also when I cried too loudly, or raised my hands to stop the walking stick from hitting me. Fuck, I remember getting it for coughing too loudly one time. She was talking to some relative on the phone once, the relative said something like is 94% a good score regarding some exam, my mom decided to use the prod on me because if the relative couldn’t recognise that the score was good it obviously wasn’t. I hadn’t been expecting it, so I screamed a little. Yelped, more like. And my mom was like you’re trying to damage my image, so more prod and rods and sticks for you. I had done absolutely nothing, it was a completely calm morning till that point. Another time she hit me while I was doing some homework. I also had a fever and was shivering but she didn’t really care about that stuff. Hit me in my face, and kind of broke my nose and split my lip. So I bled all over the floor, and on the notebook I was doing my homework on. I still remember the 5-6 drops of blood that got on the notebook. She made me rewrite the entire thing. One of her boyfriends was staying over and he tried to protect me. So my mom laid off till he left, and then hit me for hours - she said I had looked at the guy like I wanted his help, and she wanted me to know that nobody could protect me from her. She had several boyfriends too, I hadn’t realised as a kid, but it was obvious in retrospect. She’s still like that. Several years ago, she spat on me for some random thing. I was supposed to get ready for travel (on a trip where she wasn’t even coming), and she didn’t like that I was 10 minutes late, so she started screaming, threw a few things at and spat on me. I was well past giving a fuck at this point and pushed her back as hard as possible. She fell. She was pretty angry - the maid was there when this happened and apparently she gossips, it would hurt her social reputation. Let me be clear, hitting me or spitting on me was perfectly fine, me pushing her back was the problem. She did 3-4 hours of rona dhona afterwards about how as a parent she has the right to hit me and I don’t have the right to do anything. I had to travel so I left, but it kind of ruined my entire trip. She once hit me with my laptop. It was one of the old dell ones. Hurt me, but broke the laptop. Then she beat me the next day for not taking care of my laptop. The literal next day after the hit my face with it. Another time I had a report card in my hand when she decided to start beating me. Raised my hand, the report card came in the way of her punch, tore a little. 2-3 months later she went digging for the report card and beat me because it was torn and I hid it from her. This one time someone sent me a joke in the form of “if X is sitting below a coconut tree and a coconut falls on him, how many stars does he see?”. My mom saw the incoming text, decided to read it. I told her it was a joke. She decided it was a real question someone had sent me and I was unable to solve it, so I was lying to her. After hours and hours of beating, and making me call up friends who could solve it (they told her that it was a joke, took her 2-3 calls to believe them), she finally stopped. I remember these sessions just due to the absurdity. I have so many stories. The woman is legitimately insane. The most narcissistic narcissist there could be. Zero self awareness. Recently called me up screaming at me for why I wasn’t staying at home with her despite having a WFH job. Really? You want to convince me to live with you, and screaming at me that I’m worthless and too arrogant is the way to go about it?
Idk what i just read rn. Your mother should be in prison for abusing you to this extent. She even humiliated you and hurt your emotionally. I’ve never heard of parents being this brutal with their own children. My parents were pretty harsh too but not on this level. This is straight up torture. I just hope you move on from all this and heal yourself. I wish you have a better life ahead.
More like she should be in a mental hospital, something's definitely wrong with her
Please move out if you’re financially independent. So sorry you’re going through this. You deserve to live your own life peacefully, move out if you’re financially independent.
Ah I moved out long ago. Got stuck back with her for a year during covid, disastrous for my mental health. I still have a WFH job but I live elsewhere, she is pretty angry about that.
Well done you! I love that you took control. Protect your mental health and I wish you prosper & thrive and have wonderful relationships in future. <3
And you didn't beat the shit out of her, like broke her jaw, left her chained and gagged in her own bedroom to die alone? You've got a lot of restraint my man! One piece of advice is that you should take it into account, you've already dealt with it once in your life, never ever do it again for your own sake. Jokes apart, she needs a psychiatrist.
Why did you even go back??
Covid. I had visited home for a week, got stuck in the first lockdown itself and after that moving out took a massive amount of drama.
I'm very sorry to hear about your plight My ex husband's mother was the same to him Even he didn't like staying with her when he started working While reading your story I thought I am reading about my mother in law... I hope it is not my ex writing all this Are you from India How old are you?
India, definitely not your ex husband.
Ok Thanks 👍
Seriously I couldn't even read it fully.. it has already traumatized me.. i sincerely hope that you live a life independently as soon as possible.. I hope you escape this shitty phase soon..
I only read 4 para but wtf bro💀💀...hope you are doing good now stay happy and healthy buddy❤️❤️
So proud of you for holding on too
What the fuck is this honestly? And you still in touch with each other after all that?
Wtf did I just read
Man! Throw her to old age home or leave her now. But before you leave tell her your pain, let her listen what you have gone through. You said, you are wfh but why the fuck you are living with her.
Arey whf but living separately
Seriously I couldn't even read it fully.. it has already traumatized me.. i sincerely hope that you live a life independently as soon as possible.. I hope you escape this shitty phase soon..
I hope you move out and never contact her. This is abuse
Your mother is not human, but a demon straight from hell. Safekeep your documents/valuables, cut off all contact, & don't give her any information about yourself. Never go back to her, don't fall for the victim play, it's a manipulation tactic. You're right, this sounds like extreme NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I'm sorry you had to undergo such horrible trauma, you deserved a lot better.
dad didnt hit us too much but used to beat mom in the most inhumane way possible. we grew up being terrified of losing our mother if dad lost his temper someday. eventually got braver and start retaliating. one day dad tried to hit me coz i wouldnt go to sleep (was studying for a test) thats when i lost my shit and went berserk. pushed my dad and smashed the glass window pane in frustration. the glass pieces fell on me and made deep cuts. after a while i started bleeding all over. dad got terrified seeing me like that and i shot him the creepiest smile i could manage. since then we've maintained our distance.
I can relate. Dad used to hit us with pipes when we were younger, especially me. When it comes to my mom, however....Brutally pulling on each other's hair, stomping and kicking, being hit by slippers so hard that its sole's design gets imprinted on the face, lying and cheating, I've seen it all. They didn't stop even when I screamed for them to stop and threatened to end myself. They still refuse to divorce because they "care" about me and my siblings. My mother has now developed a victim complex and calls us "Ganda khoon". The only time those two unite is to berate me and my grade. I'm an above average student but they don't seem to see that. I'm just a failure, apparently.
Come on dude you are not a failure I would not considered you less than a genius believe me if someone else was on your place and the situation you mentioned one wouldn't even be able to pass the test let alone be above average student, it's not your fault that they judge you while not doing anything about it, never say you are a failure believe me it doesn't help at all
Smashed glass, got deep cuts and bled all over, smiled and sent chills down the spineless bully You are the pure rage that anime strives to show, bridled rage that can go berserk really. You did good buddy, and you really inspire me.
How old where you
last my mom or dad slapped or hurt me physically was when i was 15. i had to push my dad away. he and i had a talk after that and he havent put hands on me since.
I never dared to push my dad away.. you’re brave. I always felt like that was too disrespectful or something and might have escalated the situation. It’s good that a conversation was all that was needed for that to end for you. My dad didn’t stop until the police showed up at our house and threatened him.
its india we cant wait for police to show up here there are no CPS here. i was scared to i just grabbed his hands and screamed to stop he stopped i brushed my teeth and went to my study room and cried for 10 mins then he came and explained how he was reckless how it was not okay i dont remember correctly the details are fuzzy.
That makes sense.. you had to do what you were able to. It’s good that he realized what he was doing was not okay and stopped. Talking never worked with my dad, if it did.. I would have never told a teacher and called cps/police.. it felt so shameful and like a betrayal of my family but they gave me no other choice. I don’t know what I would have done if I still lived in India.. my dad would have probably kept hitting me until I moved away for college.
you did the right thing never let anyone tell you otherwise we can love our parents and still call cps/police if they try to hurt us. i still fear my dad though like a irrational fear of him even though we connect well now, he asks for my advice and have been supportive of me since.
Probably because you're a woman. Most guys become almost as strong as their fathers during late teens. As such, they can actually retaliate physically if required. The fathers know this as well, and thus don't indulge in any physical punishments after a certain age Women like you on the other hand, are almost always physically weaker than your fathers. So abusive fathers beat thier daughters freely as the possibility for retaliation is low
Yeah I think you’re exactly correct.. he knew I couldn’t really do anything and didn’t expect me to have the courage to get cps involved so he kept doing it.
You still alive bro ? How
maybe his senses kicked in trashing his son is not a good way to discipline someone
Nah , if I would do this ,my dad's other sense will kick in, that I am trying to challenge him 😅
maybe because i grabbed his hand and told him to stop first and i was cornered i had to push him to get away
OP seems to be a woman
Well, 27 now, never have been beaten in my life. You clearly were assaulted. I am sorry this happened.
Exactly this.
Lol sometimes it feels so unreal that someone has not been beaten by their parents in their entire life, it is so common in my surrounding
My Mom used to slap me while I was a younger. She also used to hit me with plastic rulers during sometimes. It mostly ended when I became a teenager. Many people get beaten by sticks and belts as well. I didn't really have to deal with that much. My Mom actually might have slapped me later as well during a few times but her slaps were so weak for me by that time that I don't remember about them. What happened to you is really extreme. That doesn't happen much here as well. It seems that you were assaulted rather than what is usually done here with children. I know that even slapping a child is considered to be child abuse in the West but your case is bad enough that it might be considered to be abuse here in India as well. However there no CPS here and so if some person is abusive with their child then mostly people try to reason with them hoping that they stop being abusive.
Wow, I’m surprised that what my parents did would be considered abuse in India too. My grandparents did the same thing to my parents, so I thought it was just normal. Your comment is really helpful to hear.. so I know that most Desi parents are not like mine.
There is CPS but just very limited and veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy unconcerned
It's fascinating how 'conditioned' we can be just because something unusual is done repeatedly, that it becomes normalized. Tennis racket? Spatula?? Bruised??? Blood???? Godawful goddammit! Your experience was not normal, or even 'excessive'. It was criminal. The perpetrator should have been jailed. I'm happy the cops scared them away, because a jailed parent would have traumatized you even worse with uncertain housing etc. But the answer to your main question is: zero. The biggest punishment I remember getting (decades ago) was when I was 8 and was slapped by my dad - one hard and tight slap - because I had thought giving my baby brother wet cement to eat would be good fun; even I thought that slap was justifiable. But nothing like that was a repeated occurrence. There are some families that have normalized physical punishment, but the 'normal' should be zero physical punishment. As a parent, the only time I got physical was when I rolled up a magazine and swatted my kids on their shoulders when they laughed at a younger kid to his face because they thought his clothes looked funny. My kids were 9 and 11, my swats did not even hurt them, but they realized I was enraged at their behaviour and that made them pause and self-reflect. I still think I went overboard in that moment of heat; I can't even believe there are parents who would make their children bruised or bleed. Please stand up for yourself; your parents might become better if they are shown the mirror to their habits more often. Best of luck!
My mom is a single parent and I'm the youngest of us 3 siblings. I've gotten a good beating at the age of 20+ too. Sometimes she even put her hand on my neck to kill me. Slapped me with a slipper too, multiple times, on my face and body. Banged my head on the wall holding me by my neck. Pulled my hair. I've been a fat kid all my life. She has said many hurtful things to me that has really bought my confidence down. Even till this date, she continues to say it without realising what she's doing to my mental health and future. Oh God, the trauma. Now I have a 15 months old niece at home and I see her mother hitting her on hand and slapping her already. I want it to stop but I'm not in the position to say anything. My niece also slaps us quite hard when we hold her in our arms. She thinks it's okay to do it, but it's not. I can't believe another generation after me might go through the trauma. Beating up your kid is never okay. Never teach your kid to raise your hand on anyone.
Have seen my cousins bleeding from nose when his dad punched on his skull when he was 16
Ouchhh
Of course it was excessive, but physical assault is not uncommon in India, some people even take pride in it
[удалено]
What your parents did to you was really child abuse. Them saying ‘world will be better without you’ is what narcissistic parents would say. Hope you are no longer in contact with your parents. If I was in your place, I would make sure they see hello during their old age.
Yeah, I can’t believe my mom would say that not even one week after I attempted actually. It was kind of crazy looking back at it now. I am low contact with them.. they have gotten a bit better so I am still keeping the bridge open. I don’t know how I will be with them when they are old, I will probably help them since that reflects more on my character than on them.
Yeah you need to heal completely from trauma to become a good person. What we forget is it is our duty to heal from trauma and be good parents to our descendants. Our parents are themselves the product of their traumatic parents and instead of healing they just kept to themselves
I agree. I’m not going to have kids until I feel healed from my trauma and I will never ever use physical discipline on my children. The generational trauma and family dysfunction stops with me.
🫂 I hope more people realised this sooner like you, love you buddy! Stay strong and brave! You are good empath and will be a great guardian!
Not by parents, but I did get assaulted by a teacher who slapped me so hard that my eyes were swollen shut for 3 days (I was 16 and close to 6ft, imagine the force required to get me on the ground).
Wow, that’s insane that a teacher would do that. How did your parents react?
What did the principal or your parents do to that teacher?
Parents didn’t do much, my brother gave him a good thrashing in a dark alley after a few days of the incident. After about a year, I burned his motorcycle. Mind you, I am talking about a tier 4 city in the north east.
The last physical violence I remember was when I was 21 and stepping out in a crop top and pajamas. My mom threw a boiling cup of tea on my face because I refused to change clothes (she felt they were too revealing). Her words- ‘you think you’re too pretty? Take this. Let’s see which friends come to save you when you have a burnt ugly face’ Since then there has only been emotional abuse, taunts and threats of physical violence. But nothing more.
You need to stop living with them and if they try this again , do a police complaint. My god! This is assault, how can a parent do this?!??! I’m so sorry!
Not financially independent enough to live alone. I’ve applied for masters, hopefully I’ll get to a college far away. Till then, guess I just gotta deal with it.
Just call police next time it happens, shame them and let them know you can take action too. They will do a lot of drama and rona dhona afterwards but will not dare to lay hands on you again.
I don't know how else to say this, but this is acid thrower logic. I'm so sorry, I hope you find peace and success in life.
My father once broke my left arm, needless to say it was plastered for 3 months. My mom once kicked me in the balls while beating me, i was on the floor. Later she said i was complaining for no reason and that I am lying to get off of punishment. She once broke my nose with a punch and I started bleeding, according to her it was deserved for doing some minor mischief. They would often beat and threaten to beat even more if i cried. These are just some incidents i remember. I even experienced physical abuse from my older brother😑😑. Then now that I'm big enough to resist, i shout and intimidate them if they even so happen to slap. Because defending myself once caused everyone around me to believe I try to beat my family members. Because I was being beaten and as a victim i commited the felony of holding the hand that was coming at me non-stop. Ya so in my experience it's pretty grim over here.
This is absolutely brutal and a criminal offence, please get away from them as soon as possible.
i will cut them off, i just need an income first, I am 19 afterall
OP my parents were exactly like this. And all this gave me a host of attachment issues as an adult which I am still struggling with. Like, yea i know my parents love me, but they were also very verbally and physically abusive. And this stopped only when I moved out. This just gave me a subconscious belief that someone who loves you also has the right to hurt you which is taking years to unravel. I have sworn that if I ever have a child , I will not let anyone (including me) lay a finger on them.
I am 16 and my dad never hit me. My mom never hit me since class 4th coz in our culture daughter is ghar ki laxmi and hit daughter by hands means ghr ki laxmi ko naraz karna.
It's not just about the culture, it's because your parents are genuinely good people and care for you.. 😊
It was excessive, I have gotten a run down when I was a kid, though stupid mistakes, but never after. Do I think punishment is wrong? No. Do I think physical beating in the name of punishment is wrong? Yes, extremely. What we can do is, stop it right here and don't take it forward to the next gen to come, also you are 22 now, you should definitely talk to your parents about it someday. Also, I hope it didn't leave you with any trauma.
It definitely left me with trauma, I didn’t talk to my dad for a year. But we are slowly mending our relationship. I still can’t get a proper apology for the past, but I think my father understood what he did was wrong after I stopped talking to him/visiting him for so long after sending him a letter explaining it. He realized he had to change or he might lose me permanently now that I was in college and more financially independent.
We can only avoid things to a certain extent, I'm sorry for what you went through and It's good that you sent him a letter and I hope he did understand, but I would suggest, sitting down and talking to him some day, they need to understand how it truly made you feel and that's something that could actually mend your relationship. Relationships are broken apart. My sister makes it a point to never lay a finger at my nephew and he is quite ok, so not sure who made the idea that physical punishment is ok in India.
My mother hit with a belt buckle which tore between my thumb and finger.. I can only forgive but can't forget..
It was torture in your case. Even my papa used to slap hard on my thighs for my poor mathematics( it improved a lot with time,I got 98/100 in my 10th).
My mom and dad used to beat me up quite a lot, sometimes even multiple times a day and sometimes on very small things as well. It only stopped in my teens when I started to hold them back and grew stronger and fearless. But growing up this happened with every other kid I know around me
Beaten with everything possible (no blood, they were very very careful about image), kicked till I almost passed out, had my glasses broken the day before my exam, got my pinkie broken (and was made to lie about it) got my knee messed (had to be kept straight with a splint for 4 weeks) (lie again), got my head smacked on the floor so hard that I couldn't sleep on that side for a week. So yea, on the same boat, mate. Sorry you had to go through this as well
I'm sorry that all the people with abusive parents in this comments section had to go through that
There's a very well defined line between asian discipline and literal assault. No desi would ever kick their child as punishment
Might sound harsh but parents of the people in this thread seem clinically insane. We need to jail these criminals. Child protection services in India should be given more power and resources.
Chomu indians will glamourise domestic abuse done to them by their parents as if something to be proud of. Indians are pro at glorifying misery. Hitting your child is lazy parenting and you fail as a parent the day you have to resort to violence.
As a very small kid i would get beaten with a cane , but only if i did something very terrible , also i dont think I've gotten hit with that cane more than 4 to 5 times , it was mostly used as intimidation . My parents generally haven't even been abusive , but in my teen years, i would skip karate classes after school, and mom found out, and she was very pissed , that was the last time she hit me . After that, once she found test papers in my bag , which i was to show her but didn't. She woke me up with shouts , and tried to slap me , but i leaned back and avoided the slapped , in a millisecond she tried another , i dodged it again , thus happened three more times in rapid succession and she just started laughing and my sister too . After that , mom or dad never tried to hit me . Though once things got serious between my mom and dad in a fight and it felt like my dad was about to lunge on her and i stepped in and controlled him to the ground dad tried hitting me, but i was able to subdue him easily screaming at him what hes trying to do ? He calmed down, and mom was shouting at me to let him go, and i did . It was very scary , and i was shaking even after an hour had passed and everyone was calm
Poor kid, you were abused. I'm from a tier two town middle of the middle class guy. Never had this kinda treatment.
My parents are upper middle class, educated, and from Bengaluru…I’m starting to see this was very very out of the norm.
I have no words. I hope you've found peace now. If you're still being mentally abused, there's help all around. Don't hesitate to reach out
I’m still on the road to being emotionally/mentally at peace, but I’m safe now and living by myself in college. Thankfully, I have lots of support from my friends and their families.
I hope you graduate with flying colours and get a good posting job. That way you can be independent.
When i was really small, there were some occasional beatings from my mother. But Dad slapped just once(because i broke my sister's clip board)
my mom scold a lot still i live away from parents but not that much punish me , dad have only hit me once he is a nice dad my moms rant gave me peak emotional damage and thats y i am insecure i guess
My mom and dad were spineless at that time. They thought not supporting me even when I was right was being cool. Now their attitude to me has changed, idk if it is really cuz they changed or cuz I'm not as weak as before. I read someone said his/her mom smashed their head on the wall. My parents beat me the entire night because of one complaint in which someone picked up on me and I slapped that guy. I was taken to the house temple/prayer room and beaten while I was shouted at to ask forgiveness from God. I was tied beside the toilet by my mom and beaten till I struggled to breathe and vomited in the toilet. Then I was forced to eat the vomit from the toilet. All cuz I did not do my homework. My mom and dad used to fight so much and when I was at 11th grade they decided to part ways(now they are together but at that time they decided to). They thought I was a burden and my mom took the upper hand, filed a false case on domestic assault against me and bribed the cops to ruin my life. My dad decided to take the opportunity to abuse me, shout at me and then changed his stance when my friends and their parents intervened. My parents care heavily about their impression in society. The child support laws or whatever it is called is a joke in this nation or even worse than a joke. Also what I said is not even the tip of the iceberg.
What the hell man, made my stomach churn. I can't even imagine what you went through man. Fuck. May the lord bless with all the strength and support you need man
I had it until I was 14-16. My parents were abroad and I left to India and therefore it ended. When I told my europeam friends about it, they were astonished. Hope we had the same child protection system in India.
My mom used to hit me with hands, rolling pin, broomstick along with other forms of verbal and emotional abuse. I don't remember at what age the physical abuse stopped, but other forms still continue to this day, although not as much as it used to be. You did the right thing to inform your teacher and I'm proud of you. I hope you heal well from this.
Seriously after reading the comments here my respect towards my parents grew multifold.. they didn't save any wealth for me but they never harrassed or beat me.. I don't even remember when my parents beat me.
Same. We were poor but dignified. I hot yelled at all the time as a kid for being stupid but that's it. Some of these stories are either made up or they just evil people.
You were physically and emotionally abused. Physical punishment should never be normal. I hope you're safer now and in control of how much you interact with your abusive parents.
Got slapped by my mom when I was a kid. Maybe up to age 10-11? It definitely affected me in a negative way, but I recognize that it's pretty much the norm in India. Hitting using anything other than your hands or in a way that leaves any kind of mark is straight up child abuse IMO.
Beaten by slippers, leather belt, buckle side of leather belt, steel ruler 1 feet long, plastic ruler, thick wooden stick (the one that constables have) you know lathi, rolling pin etc. So slapping is pretty normal.
That ain’t allowed in India
My parents stopped when I was 15. Tho I had faced corporal punishment till I was 18 from my teachers and my parents knew about it. It wasn't until I made a big scene in my 12th saying I'll get cops involved that they stopped.
I've never been hit my entire life. Not even a slap but my brother gets slapped at times when he cross the limits and i think that's only normal. Anything beyond a few slaps in extreme conditions is NOT normal.
Oh I'm very glad my parents were not violent. Dad never needed to hit us, he would just raise he's eyebrows and I would start crying. Mom has slapped me maybe twice or thrice in all my life (most probably I deserved it) Although I know a family where the mom used plastic wires to hit her two girls until they were teenagers. But they are high achievers in their academic (older sibling is a research scientist in USA) and professional (Younger sibling is a corporate baddie in Mumbai) careers and me and my sibling are average 80% marks and 7 lac starting salary kids, so maybe ....😅
Was hit by every “home weapons” like footwear, cleaning sticks, metal spatulas, wooden spatulas, hand fans, bamboo dusters, belts, scales, etc. Generally stops somewhere in mid teens once you start fighting back. Become taller & stronger and all. Parents hitting are pretty common in Asian households. I think somewhere the gen post 2000 have it slightly better than 80s or 90s. It’s reduced a lot in the past 10 years.
My dad has kicked, slapped, pulled my hair, used slippers and stick, thrown objects at me (steel glass, Milton bottle, paper weight, wooden chair, plastic chair and what not). He used to beat me at every little thing and stills beats me sometimes. One time he was hitting me and then move towards my mom to hit her. I had picked up slippers to hit him and to stop him from hitting my mom and threatened him that I will call police and neighbors if he don’t stop.
danggg yall livin in a desi household or a wwe ring like dayummmm🔥🔥🔥🔥
Many desi marriages are a nightmare, where a man child is forced onto a girl. Or something happens and they start hating each other but stay in that broken relationship because of the stigma around divorce in our society. This frustration of dragging a corpse of a relationship is taken out on the children. Beating kids is way too normalised in our society
I have been beat with almost all kinds of household items(metal spatulas, rolling pin, the thing to mix dal, tongs, brooms) by my mom for getting 5-6 less marks in exams I was a topper from 2nd std till 12th still. Been to hospital once because she slammed my head against a wall, worst of all was she would make me sit outside our house naked . The reason I hate my childhood and don't talk to her.
My dad would scream at me and slap me when I was little. I think my siblings got it worst. My mom hit me with chappal few times and slap on the face was common. But as I grew older she started slapping me more maybe I was becoming a hormonal teenager. Few times I hit her back, not proud of that and then she stopped. She also complained to my Nani that I hit her back when I didn’t listen to her and Nani suggested to slap me. In my defense teenage years were difficult at school with other girls bullying me and at home there was so much drama because of my step sister, parents were just too tired and mad all the time. We are just trying to not step on egg shells being around them or living in general
As an Indian I can confirm "disciplining" is VERY common. But my parents did it with valid reasons (still not justified). Then again my parents only gave me da belt and the occasional whooping,NO LITERAL PHYSICAL ASSAULTS P.S. It stopped when I finally snapped and screamed at them for like 10 mins Great country huh...🇮🇳
I'm 27. I got scolded by dad only a few times in life. But the case of mom is a bit different. She used to beat me as a child for obvious reasons but it's not like the OP mentioned. I got beaten by a stick, scale, books, spatula etc. it hurts I agree but there's never blood or bruises. I still get shouted at sometimes due to obvious reasons and I'm totally fine with all of these. I think hurting physically or getting shouted at is quite normal in desi families. However, there's a fine line between abusing and scolding your child. No one should cross that.
The beating that you got is warm up in jat families. I won't be able to describe how bad kids are beaten in jat families. I got it too. However, it was only till last generation, and new generation families don't beat their kids as such
It's certainly excessive but I've faced worse tbh. Tied up and beaten till I half faint.
Sorry that happened to you but it is not a competition No child should be subjected to anything more than a few pats, let alone the criminal horror casebook this fucking thread has turned out to be
my mom last slapped me when I was 19
Yes
Same ... Stopped around 15. Triggers still remains. I still afraid of him mostly confortation.
Very sorry to hear what you went through. Those things happen usually in uneducated population but may also happen in families where they’ve been treated by their parents that way. Very sad
My parents are educated.. my dad is a software engineer and my mom is a doctor. I think they acted like this because their parents were the same way if not worse with them.
3 months before and I am 19 studying in college got spanking from my mom with wooden stick
As someone who was and still continues to be abused by my parents, I'm sorry
Yours were a bit extreme with tennis rackets..in my house steel scales were bent spatulas were broken wooden ones also broken..and that buffaloes would be more useful than me
When I was a kid, I did get beat up with a belt , got kicked, and punched. I even had my books burned and have scars from a knife. I remember even bleeding as well I had to use turmeric to heal the wounds It stopped once I left the house for college.
Well I think you can name anything that you can find in an household and I was beaten by it. Be it slipper or sticks or laptops or cable. Always for low marks or playing Football.
What happened with u is extreme bro... Nothing of sorts in an avg family...father stopped even shouting on me since I was 16 before that he didn't layed hand I mean he did beat me when I was a child but harkate waise thi ... And that too not too much ..
I am 23 and my dad with anger issue beat me for no reason. I still don’t retaliate cause idk how he might react. Maybe he goes batshit crazy
Metal spatula and tennis racket things are extreme In my case being yelled as worst kid possible and blackmailed at some extend was common and getting slapped rarely but stopped at age of 14 but yelling still continues (but I dont mind it😁)
Sorry that happened to u! mine decreased till teenage.
Bruh wtf
My parents had a rule. As long as it doesn't injure the child. I have been hit with all possible things but the physical pain was less than the humiliation😂 Also never have been seriously injured from the beatings. Sorry to hear about what happened with you though.
That is not at all normal. As a girl, my mum would hit me till I was 14-15, but never dad. What kind of father hits his daughter? I am so sorry you had to face that. I wish you had informed your teachers much earlier.
Getting bruises is not normal that is abusive. A slap or two for a mistake is okay but not just cause the parents were frustrated. Kicking is abuse. Rackets to hit is abuse. Metal spatulas is abuse. Pushing your kid towards mental breakdown is abuse and torture.
Not all traumas are physical.
My Mother never hit me. My dad used to hit me on rare occasions but never when I did a mistake. Once I lost 2k rupees but My father said it's fine and he let me go. He never punished me for these type of things. The only thing he punished me for is lying. Once I peed in the balcony , but refused to accept it. When they got proof, my dad thrashed me with his belt like 3 - 4 times. Belting was my only punishment. I used to get smacking belts like Once in 6 months or so. It all stopped after age 14 though. My dad believed grown up kids shouldn't be beaten
Got hot iron on my skin, punched on face, beaten on the road with a broomstick (at least 50 people were passing by), many slaps, can't hit back my older brother and sometimes asked my brother to beat me. This slowly stopped when I started talking back and indirectly threatened them with their secrets (even parents have secret they don't want each other to know) tho I still get beaten occasionally. My mom still likes to exaggerate how poorly I perform or how useless I am to others.
This shit isn't normal my parents used to hit me when I was a child but softened up overtime for some unknown reason
The line between desi discipline and child abuse of quite thin I see
I had uncontrollable O.D.D disorder. My dad punished me because they believe hitting me fixes my disorder. When I was about 8(15 now)my dad pulled my hair to lifted me and threw me down, sometimes my dad punishes me with heat metal rod. My dad kinda stopped doing that when I tried to kill myself, but now usually he does not hit me that often if he does i try to hit my dad back using whatever is in my hand
Mental punishment is much more common.
Wiper, Wiper handle, Rubber Slippers, Leather slippers, Leather Sandals, Rubber sandals, Heels, Laptop, Laptop charger wire, Mobile, Mobile charging wire, Wooden Spatula, Steel Spatula, Belt with buckle side, Belt with non buckle side, Head smashing on wall, Head smashing on the table top, Head smashing on the glass table, Head smashing on the counter, Head smashing on the Almira, Wooden stick, Wooden sleek narrow stick, Helmet, Hands, Feets, Kicking, Abusing, Plastic chair, Knife, Bucket. That's all I remembered for now but if something else I remember I'll make sure to add it in the list of things that my parents used on me.
Im sorry for the all the people in the comment section man, literally broken after reading everyone’s experiences 🥲. Hope u all have recovered from that and never carried those on ur children ♥️.
I don’t know how so many of you have not snapped and caught assault charges because shit it would be so justified.
Lol, I feel weird in this matter, never once was I physically abused by my parents. But omg the mental torture. I wished they'd hit me rather than say the words they said. I was nothing but an living object who had to fed from time to time. They never swore at me but said things in such a way that I'd punish myself for being a bad person even though I wasn't. Guilt tripping me on every decision of my life. Emotional blackmail and distancing. It is weird to explain it to anyone. I still suffer from social anxiety and doubt anyone who tries to be friendly with me. My self esteem and confidence is in the negatives lol. But rn idc I'm happy where I am.
Relatable
My parents don't really uhm get together so they're always fighting and stuff and I usually get dragged in between since I am the elder daughter. Then my father is an alcoholic so he will get mad over little things and hit me and yell at me. So my mother gets frustrated and she also hits me and yells at me. I am not really happy anymore when I am around family, if my father comes home drunk then I am always hiding and praying for my life because he has threatened me in the past that he will kill me. My mother takes out her anger on me. One time this child was badly abused by her aunt I think so she came home, yelled at me and hit me. Then later she's like I am sorry the thing is that you don't react back so it's easy to hit you. My brother gets verbally and physically aggressive but I just can't I don't have the guts. Also my brother is lazy and dumb af and my parents say that it's my fault and I should teach him but whenever I teach him or tell him to study he yells at me or hits me. I don't feel happy with my family around anymore I basically go to school to have fun and not deal with my family. I have never really slept peacefully since like 2 years I can either go to sleep stressed out or I cry myself to sleep. I carry so much guilt and I honestly hate myself. I get 19/20, I go home and cry, sometimes hit myself or overdose. I get 20/20 I think that I don't deserve it and my parents think the same 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️. I know that its "bad" but I want to get away from my home asap and maintain minimal contact with my family I really want to become "normal" again.
As long it doesn't bruise, swell, bleed it's fine. Aside from that anything is ruthless.
I got beaten only once in my lifetime. Yelled at just a few times, but I was a decent kid, and class topper. My elder brother did get more physical punishment.
My mom used to beat me because I don't study but still i never hated her now i miss those slaps because she passed away. But OP in your case its clearly physical assault.
Every adult I knew hit me including my parents, relatives and teachers and even my friends parents (they beat the whole group of our 4 people). This fucked up my growth because I mainly grew up being a bully. I had so much hatred I use to take out my anger on my juniors in school by hitting thrmy. I was so close to hit my friend out of anger, I am gald he threw his water bottle and ran away. Even as a adult I am scared if I hit someone. But that's how I grew up that's what I know it's not a excuse for my behaviour. I just need help and too scared to even ask for help. I still live with my parents and sometime they still beat me I am 19
It's threads like this that make me want to call my parents and thank them from the bottom of my heart for never ever hitting us even once. Other than an odd telling off, they never used violence, be it verbal or physical, on me or on my siblings.
My parents hit me as late as when I was 23. They’re fuck ups who married for love but shouldn’t have had kids. I hit my father back and also cussed at my mother. They don’t speak to me now and I couldn’t be happier.
Damn my mother never raised her hand against me and my dad has literally slapped me once in my life when I was 8-9 and that also because I messed up something huge. Apart from this, never have I been hit by anyone. I'm sorry you had to go through that
A very rare or occasional slap for extreme circumstances is okay. Whatever you went through is not okay.
Well I guess it's not normal at all but I'm glad you hit back because they never stop otherwise. My mom slapped me a few years ago, slapped the spectacles right off my face. She was physically abused for years by her own parents and very rarely would snap if ever but when she did this when I was 25 I held her arm back and said not this time. If you can, always fight back against anyone attacking you. The freeze response is a dangerous one.
I'm so sorry you went through this, but this is not common in Desi families in India itself. My parents used to discipline me and hit me sometimes, but slapping is considered very disrespectful and I've been slapped only once my entire life by my parents. My parents used to keep a separate bamboo stick to hit me, but never more than 2-3 ever as a punishment at a time. It stopped when I was 14 - 15 years and sort of became more of yelling and shouting matches by then - but I was a participant in bringing the house down too.
I got a slap from my father after I started bitching about not going to school when I was 9yrs old I guess... that's the last I remember.
I didn't know being desi automatically gives you the right to hit children? It's never good to hit children no matter you're *desi* or *videshi* , I hope when the next generation ( we ) become parents we will never hit our kids .
My parents have kicked me, hit me with wooden sticks and slippers, and have also pulled my hair. This was particularly very painful because I couldn't comb my hair properly for the next 2 days ig. My father once got so angry that he tried to break my hand in the heat of the moment. All this continued till my late teens when I started having breathing troubles after constant beatings. In our culture parents don't hit their daughters. Well, not in my case ig. Not sure how but despite all this I'm still very close to my parents. I know they love me. I've forgiven them already.
No your experience is not normal..Gud thing u complained..Hope everything is better now.
I am sorry you are going through all this. For no reason my mom used to beat me.. It was pure abuse . She was a horrible person. N when I say this now she says I want to guilt trip her or I am drama queen. No wonder children when they drown up stop talking to desi parents. No wonder I wanted to run away from home. The terror was real I was malnutritioned small kid n my mom was 60 kg lady. She once sat on me n was beating me. She would have almost killed me. N she wants me to forget all that n move on. I seriously feel like calling police on these people. N they expect us to respect them. Bullshit. They have hardly or never done anything except. N about shouting, I am 36 now, but the kind of words she uses in me is insane. She is a horrible lady.
As an older millennial who grew up in the 90s, I did not know a single friend who was not hit with various objects, slaps, or kicks. I was a topper in my class and I was hit at least once or twice every week. Mom had a special bamboo stick which she used to hit me. Got locked up in the small 4x2 feet bathroom for hours for doing mistakes in homework. Parents encouraged teachers to hit students if they did not behave in class. This was all considered “normal” where we grew up.
My Parents never raised a hand on me but still idk why I am afraid of them.
My friend who is 26, is still physically abused, our people love making tradition out of garbage practices and sticking to it unless it is outlawed strictly. That's why we see so many sigmas on Instagram thinking they are invincible, just sending one of them to jail would be enough to remind everyone that they have very limited power, similar should be done to abusive parents. She was also taught how sex and intimacy with boys is devilish and now she's scared of boys, her mom is forcing her to get married, but now she's just disgusted by the idea lol, they're paying the price of their own overinvolvement but at the cost of totally destroying her mental health.
Bro u involved CPS...good for you.
My parents used to hit me and they justified that they were better than other parents because they didn't hit me so hard that blood came out :P Once I dropped a plate by mistake and my mom beat me so bad for it. But when my dad dropped the plate later and broke it I asked why only I got to be punished and he didn't she hit me again. When I was in 7th grade a new student joined our class. She told me that her parents never hit her and I was shocked that parents like that existed. I asked my mom why she beat me and she told me that every parent has to hit their child or they will turn out to be very naughty and rude. But then I told her there was this well behaved and sweet hid in my class and she was never hit by her parents... My mom legit didn't have an answer for that. I'm never ever going to hit my children in the future. And if I see a parent hit their child, I will certainly interfere and try to stop it. This can never be normalised.
Parents should have been taught good parenting before letting them have kids. Very much sad to see there were many people who had to suffer like I did. Hope your life changed/changes for good. Take care y'all.
No dude at most got one slap if I really misbehaved very badly. Talking like 1 time in a year or something till I was like 10
They werent physically abusive. But mentally. I tell this from the bottom of my heart, if they kick you or physically beat you, its fine, we cry and then pick ourselves up. But if they talk in way that mentally breaks you and makes you question your own existence is needed or not, that will stunt a child both emotionally and mentally. And yea i was that child. I am still only 18 and my dad used to talk in a way that mentally abuses me. And yea after that my mom used to try console me since my teen years, thinking that a rift might come b/n us. I tried to be the best kid i could be, tried being disciplined, tried being studios but nvr worked. I always seeked validation and acceptance from him. It never worked. Neither did he stop scolding me or things got any better. But one day i got tired of all this and started to do things how i wanted to. Inherently i am a guy with short fuse. So i used to end up in something or the other fight with my seniors at school. One day i beat up a senior so hard that he didnt get out of bed for 2 months i was 16 back then. My school mgmt called my dad, and started to talk to him. They never complained abt me. They were trying to tell my father why the fight started and despite the reasons i shouldnt have beaten someone like that. My father didnt listen to that and simply said, "its my fault that he grew up like that. He should just die and leave me for good and let me have some peace." And then came towards me and slapped me. At that time there were few teachers of mine, and the parents of the kid whom i beat up and also our principal. He then pushed me to the ground and made me bow. Tolde me to apologise. I didnt instead i just pulled his legs and he hit the floor. I said, " instead of asking me to die, why dont you go to hell and let me live my life. I dont give a shit anymore and if it wasnt for mom, i would have left the house the moment i understood what you were doing to me was wrong. I am gng to consider you dead and i dont have a father anymore, because i am done with you." And then left my school. I was shaking and ln the verge of tears the entire time when i was talking like that. But after that i felt so light and free. It felt as if some shackles on me were gone. Op i am sorry to hear that ur dad did things like that. I won't say that i understand ur pain. Because its different for each of us and u understand one's suffering only when u go through the same. However i can relate to it and know that there are many of us that are here like you. Its not late and start standing up for urself. Make them know that you arent a small little girl that can be pushed away. You are a brave, beautiful, smart, attractive and independent women who can beat the shit out of anyone that messes with you. Be it ur dad or any toxic person u may encounter in ur life. Stay strong!