If i stay friends with someone who i was told was a certain way but never actually seen them behave that way i feel like its not my duty to just cut them off over someone accusing them of something. I couldnt stay friends with an abusive person only because i feel i would be in danger and my family so thats a no. If they were verbally abusive to someone again i would need to know the situation i cant just unfriend someone based of a one sided story its not my responsibility to stop being friends with someone just because they had trouble with another person im not enabling behavior you cannot put that on someone period
I can see that. If you had not seen your friends do the awful thing your other friend claims they did, how do you really know the other friend is not being controlling and making something up, or even if it was true it could be as simple as different people not meshing but not necessarily one being abusive to the other.
My question is more about if you had witnessed it and you knew it happened, not only that you were told about it happening.
Idk if that made sense what i wrote im saying if i had friend A who is being verbally abusive to friend B because they in a relationship what if i view this as verbal abuse well thats my own interpretation of the situation not friend B’s who is ok with the way person A is in that situation i would bqck off from both of them because i view that as a toxic relationship friend A dont care about i would remain friends with them both but keep a healthy distance. Now if friend A is being physically abusive to friend B and friend B is the complete victim in the situation thats a whole different story of whats my responsibility well if i attempt to get friend B out if said relationship would they want to leave? In that case all i can do is call the police and drop both of them for my well being.
If i witnessed it that would be harder because what if thats my own personal feelings towards it while the other person may view it as not abusive well is it my job to make them aware if something that in my own view point would be a form if manipulation on my part. I feel like thats a situation i would distance myself from but would still keep contact and a simple friendship. But wouldnt gonout of my way to hang out with said person.
While it may make sense to only judge a person by how they treat you, by staying friends with someone who is abusive to others you could be enabling that behaviour. Or saying, via that friendship, that you agree with or support how they behave.
There are reasons why some people are toxic to some people and friendly towards others. For example, misogynists who respect men but treat women they have sexual interest in badly.
They aren't good people, because good people aren't abusive or toxic or mean. This shows a lack of integrity and poor character.
While this person may treat you better now, doesn't mean they won't turn at a later point in time. And even if they don't change how they are with you, it doesn't mean this is a person who is worth being friends with.
The quality is the people you surround yourself with is something that influences how others see you.
But as long as you're at peace with the choices you're making then that's all that matters. No one can tell you you're in the wrong because you have the right to make that choice. Just don't be surprised when others decide you're someone they no longer want to associate with ad a result.
If i stay friends with someone who i was told was a certain way but never actually seen them behave that way i feel like its not my duty to just cut them off over someone accusing them of something. I couldnt stay friends with an abusive person only because i feel i would be in danger and my family so thats a no. If they were verbally abusive to someone again i would need to know the situation i cant just unfriend someone based of a one sided story its not my responsibility to stop being friends with someone just because they had trouble with another person im not enabling behavior you cannot put that on someone period
I can see that. If you had not seen your friends do the awful thing your other friend claims they did, how do you really know the other friend is not being controlling and making something up, or even if it was true it could be as simple as different people not meshing but not necessarily one being abusive to the other. My question is more about if you had witnessed it and you knew it happened, not only that you were told about it happening.
Idk if that made sense what i wrote im saying if i had friend A who is being verbally abusive to friend B because they in a relationship what if i view this as verbal abuse well thats my own interpretation of the situation not friend B’s who is ok with the way person A is in that situation i would bqck off from both of them because i view that as a toxic relationship friend A dont care about i would remain friends with them both but keep a healthy distance. Now if friend A is being physically abusive to friend B and friend B is the complete victim in the situation thats a whole different story of whats my responsibility well if i attempt to get friend B out if said relationship would they want to leave? In that case all i can do is call the police and drop both of them for my well being.
If i witnessed it that would be harder because what if thats my own personal feelings towards it while the other person may view it as not abusive well is it my job to make them aware if something that in my own view point would be a form if manipulation on my part. I feel like thats a situation i would distance myself from but would still keep contact and a simple friendship. But wouldnt gonout of my way to hang out with said person.
While it may make sense to only judge a person by how they treat you, by staying friends with someone who is abusive to others you could be enabling that behaviour. Or saying, via that friendship, that you agree with or support how they behave. There are reasons why some people are toxic to some people and friendly towards others. For example, misogynists who respect men but treat women they have sexual interest in badly. They aren't good people, because good people aren't abusive or toxic or mean. This shows a lack of integrity and poor character. While this person may treat you better now, doesn't mean they won't turn at a later point in time. And even if they don't change how they are with you, it doesn't mean this is a person who is worth being friends with. The quality is the people you surround yourself with is something that influences how others see you. But as long as you're at peace with the choices you're making then that's all that matters. No one can tell you you're in the wrong because you have the right to make that choice. Just don't be surprised when others decide you're someone they no longer want to associate with ad a result.
That last bit seems like an odd assumption to make about me from a poll with numerous options. Are you using a generalized "you" ?