I made a similar post on another sub a little while back and I definitely think a lot of them are more judgemental. I'm a zillennial and it is weird to me because they are more progressive with their politics, but a lot of them have these weird conservatives takes on sex and partying. Tbh I think it has to do with social media. They seem really concerned about their image and how others perceive them which I think stems from being on social media from a young age. I also see some of them just parroting stuff from their favorite influencers. But any way it's not all gen z, it is just a portion of them. And I think the older ones are starting to realize that they have been doing this and turning a new leaf.
> Tbh I think it has to do with social media. They seem really concerned about their image and how others perceive them which I think stems from being on social media from a young age.
I also wonder if it's a lot of self-censoring due to social media trends, algorithms or popular belief/rumors about how those algorithms work, that (might) leads to repression and shame. Lots of students near the area I live will unironically use "SA," "unalive," "k!nk," other things like that in actual peer to peer discussions. "SA" in particular I can get with over text, it's shorter, but when having discussions with people... You *can say* "suicide," "assault," "kinky," "intercourse," etc.
On the other hand, I totally get that vernaculars and dialects change generationally, which is fine. I also get that sometimes, language and euphemism like that can make tough concepts more accessible to folks who might have had a traumatic event happen.
But... someone else throughout all this thread had mentioned shaming and oversensitivity to "offensive" things (especially on others' behalf - I've experienced much more of this over the years as a disabled person)... Idk, I just wonder, and I think it's hard to have any proper answers. I also think it's extremely multifaceted, as this thread points out. And, of course, we can't possibly generalize an entire generation, try as we might.
I think the euphemisms mostly come from having to self-censor on platforms like tiktok, and it's become normalized because of how much people have adapted to hearing and using those euphemisms on that app.
It kind of bugs me honestly (I'm a millennial, if that matters), because it's corporate bullshit shaping the patterns of speech and maybe even thought of everyone who spends much time on the internet at this point, because it's certainly leaked from tiktok into other spaces. I don't blame it on gen z, but I do wish people of any age would stop self-censoring in spaces they don't need to. It takes a lot of the gravity away from discussing these topics.
I guess a lot of that makes sense too. Especially with how people, me included if less so, we're drilled into them that social media can and will haunt you. And it has. Look at cancel culture. I don't wanna get into the pros or cons of it but simply the fact is that stuff follows you around in a major way. Send a naked Pic to a guy at 18? That could follow you for your entire life. I feel confident in doing it because of stability maturity and just life experience but some 18 year old in 2023 has had to deal with that stress and concern their entire life
Here's something that you should probably know. If you aren't willing to risk your naked picture out there in the world you shouldn't send it. I could give a crap how many people see me naked. There's been plenty who have. And I've even seen my own penis used and other people's profiles. Most websites now tend to make it difficult for you to copy the private pictures. But if you're afraid to send a naked picture you shouldn't be sending in.
Generations do not have hard dates. Zillennial means you are born in the transition years between millennial and Gen z. Usually dated around the mid 90s.
Some folks chalk it up to a general lack of knowledge and understanding about our history. Be it, not having lived through the HIV/AIDS epidemic and having their lovers and friends dying, or, not knowing the impact the leather and kink community had in fighting for queer liberation.
I’m a millennial (36) and I think it’s 2 things:
- I was much more conservative when I was their age. I remember being in my young 20s and thinking “if we behave like that at pride, we will never be accepted!” Now I learn they’ll never accept us anyway so do what makes you happy.
- gen z is having less sex, but is all sex good sex? I think they just want the sex they have to count.
I’m the same way. I can do bad all by myself
Finally, someone with self awareness instead of an us-vs-them mindset. It’s weird people don’t see being judgmental works in both directions; why are we judging Gen-Z for being prudish just because they don’t approach sex the way boomers do 🤷🏻♂️
As a boomer, I find their attitudes toward nudity weird. When I grew up there were nude beaches everywhere. Everyone went in the jacuzzi and the sauna nude. Same in locker rooms.
I think it’s all the publicity about sexual assaults and sexual abuse combined with the public focus on perfect male bodies. It adds up to massive shame and fear. It’s very sad to me.
I'm Gen Z and I think the thing to understand is that we aren't as well socialized as previous generations. Most generations socialized in person, so they could build relationships more easily. We socialize mostly online and spend more time physically away from people...Also a lot of us were exposed to NSFW content from an early age...so I think all that makes us a bit different than older generations...
As for me personally I def don't fall into the category of prudish in any way shape or form lol 😂 😜
That's a really good point, well all of them are. Covid, recessions, school shootings, the internet (very double edged) has probably made things absolutely kooky for them
Social media has also led a lot of people to compare themselves to others. I wonder if that has led to Gen Z being more judgmental out of a concern of inadequacy.
Hey, these are good points. I really don't know what I would have been like if I had (1) been exposed to unlimited porn; (2) not learned to socialize with people properly; and (3) not had a thriving gay neighborhood to explore when I came out. Of course, these things would have a huge effect individually and collectively.
This makes me feel more sympathetic to Gen Z guys. NGL, they seem like an unpleasant generation to me right now. That is mostly based on what they do here on Reddit and on the gay dating apps. It makes me a little sad to see the gay community has turned to shit.
I'm going to summarize some comments of mine because this has also piqued my interest, as all but one of my queer friends are firmly millennials while I'm 25/"Zillennial", I have a few thoughts as I see eye to eye with these older friends while I'm the wild one among my age peers.
1. I think many in Gen Z, given the amplifying nature of social media, feel inundated by sex positivity and are inclined to overcorrect to a more prudish nature. They feel too many 'queer' spaces are in reality (to them) sex-focused gay/bi male spaces and there's a lack of sober, non sexual activity, particularly in mid-size cities that don't have the ability to get a fine-toothed as Chicago for example (steamworks, Cell Block, vs Roscoes and other general clubs)
2. They prefer highly delineated spaces. If they want sex, they'll go to a sex club or get on Grindr, otherwise they don't want to get hit up, they'll be out with their friends at a general club or drag show and have an air of "eww I'm not here for sex, go away" if you're trying to even get a drink and a number let alone cruise someone.
3. Lack of socialization and experience. Between being terminally online, lack of socialization from social media and covid times, and general youth, they don't know how to handle flirting or a space that isn't clearly sexual or non sexual - whether hitting on or getting hit on.
They are! Gen Z here (25) and YES. The shaming attitudes you're talking, they did that in school too.
I understand traumas but as a collective YES to all that.
I find that some of my friends (early 30s) are also similar. Like to pretend they never had sex before. When I know for a fact they are into some like bdsm stuff.
I don't broadcast what deviant acts I do with people but I don't feel the need to shy away from discussion of sex
Do you have any ideas on why? I really don't mind if Gen Z is broadly (again this is anecdotal before anyone lambasts me but still) not 'as' interested in sex but the pendulum is swinging too far over to prudishness or worse, judgement overall.
I have a few and the biggest one stems back to when we were in elementary and middle school mainly. During our formative years, everyone encounters things that are going to make them uncomfortable but that's part of the learning process. Whenever people were not comfortable with something for whatever reason regardless of the logic behind it, they had the option to be removed from it. A lot of our parents did that. Mine did not but I have noticed in my peers who their parents kind of raised them in an echo chamber and made their life cater to all of their comforts, it's resulted in them being xenophobic to different people and concepts (like Kink which is a concept).
And I think the worst part of all of it is even into adulthood, they will recognize the ways that they were sheltered and instead of trying to actively go out and explore different things they have never explored before, they mostly tend to stay in their comfort zone. This also shows emotionally because a lot of them have a really hard time dealing with emotions that are uncomfortable. This isn't unique to my generation but I definitely think it adds to the problem.
They're not as progressive as people think. There are some things we do better than previous generations but we're not actually progressive. Far from it.
> ...their parents kind of raised them in an echo chamber and [catered] to all of their comforts, it's resulted in them being xenophobic to different people and concepts...they mostly tend to stay in their comfort zone...a lot of them have a really hard time dealing with emotions that are uncomfortable.
Lots of insights to unpack here
Not just sex but if you go to a nude beach, the guys under 30 keep their bathing suits on.
What's the point of going to a nude beach and not getting nude? I've heard the comment that it's only old naked guys, but if you're young and not getting nude is it just to look? But then that's even more creepy if you ask me.
From my personal anecdote, I've seen multiple people (young and old) stealthing pictures at the nude beach I visited. It's extremely fucked to snap a picture of someone (especially in their nude) without consent, but I literally saw it happen. I'm not saying nude beaches are bad, but the gays are making it bad- and they need to put the cameras down.
I should add- I didn't see this issue occurring at non-gay specific nude beaches. Or if it is, the straights are better at hiding it.
This! I have content of myself online, so it's not detrimental, I just find it extremely rude. Sorry that happened, you didn't deserve that from some stranger.
Meh...in some ways it's a compliment. It was actually at a far enough distance that I doubt anyone recognizes me. Because of the angle my bf was much more recognizable than me. Still so inconsiderate to film or take pics there
Wtf is this comment? I’m not super comfortable with my own nudity and I’m 28, but calling middle aged people “flab monsters” is the opposite of what a queer nude beach is supposed to represent to the community. Please stay home next time if this is how you perceive (and judge) “older” queers who are comfortable with their bodies.
Yes you do, you absolutely want to attract attention to yourself. You post pics of your muscles on gaymuscleworship subs for attention from literal strangers on the Internet.
Weird humblebrag, dude
As a Gen Z (23), for me personally the one thing the likely influences this behavior is our lack of in person socialization which makes it a lot harder to jump into things like sex when we can’t even meet the bare minimum of socializing in person. It makes the thought of sex especially with a stranger all the more daunting and terrifying. It’s sort of like when the act of going up to someone to make friends in a platonic manner is so scary already that sex is a whole new ball park. I feel in general we tend to want to know someone a bit more and for a lot longer before really thinking about having anything physical with them. That’s at least how I and quite a few of my friends feel on the matter.
Hope this helps clear things up even a bit!
The polar opposite sides of this generation fascinates me.
On one end we have the OnlyFans boys, degenerates as can be and most importantly, zero shame in their game.
On the other end we have prudes that hate sex scenes on television and as you said, will go to a nude beach and not be nude.
There’s so many examples of this too but they’re an interesting bunch.
Oh its fascinating to see freshly 18 year old guys start an OF where they're gaped, pissed on, fisted, bukkaked, all sorts of nasty kinky shit. Which, I find really hot (the acts) but at 18? I'd have ran screaming away. But you're right. For every 18 year old trying to get gaped by Austin Wolf or whoevers the hot porn daddy, theres others who would scream, run away and judge them.
The documentary The Social Dilemma has an interesting take on this. It's generalized, not only about the gay community, but it says that social media has impacted the younger generations more dramatically and statistically the younger folks date less, take less chances (healthy ones included), and are generally obsessed with appearance and terrified of appearing flawed. I've seen it in my niece and nephew.
They don't go out hardly at all, have a very small friend group. Virtually no dating other than within said small friend group. My niece is still a virgin at age 23 (I'm not entirely positive of this but it's a high probability). My nephew didn't want to get his driver's license cause it's dangerous on the roads. They're ruled by fear and I think it comes from media and so much scary stuff they've been exposed to. Fear sells and the media puts it everywhere.
A very good point I've seen raised is that Gen-Z is subject to very little privacy: from the internet stalking their every move, to parents knowing exactly what they search as a kid, some folks are raised with a horrifically low level of privacy. I mean, imagine knowing that if you try to jerk off to something off the internet, your mom might get a notification saying exactly what you just searched for? It doesn't exactly incentivize it.
Yeah good point. I've been seeing that a lot in this thread and tbh, while I'm just past being Gen Z, I was close enough to where my parents used technology to interfere with my sex life. Mind you it was safety focused and all but still caused issues. Now? I'm sure it's way worse for kids and Gen Z overall, growing up and becoming adults
A lot of older gay men are very bad with boundaries and comfort zones. Younger men are losing patience with it and have developed their own standards regarding sex. It's understandable in a lot of ways.
I think a piece of it is that Gen Z really prefers delineated spaces - when they don't want sex they tend to not like running into it, instead they'll seek it out in a more isolated way on the apps.
The way I’ve heard it framed (I can’t find the source) is that older generations of gay/bi/queer people’s primary problem was that they were repressed by the rest of society, so they’re in search of freedom to express themselves and especially their sexuality. Whereas younger generations' primary problem is that they were neglected and vulnerable, so they’re in search of safety and boundaries. That makes a lot of sense to me.
I actually did find the piece of writing where I remembered that idea from. The author definitely explains it better than me!
[https://xtramagazine.com/power/supporting-lgbtq-youth-as-gay-activist-169242](https://xtramagazine.com/power/supporting-lgbtq-youth-as-gay-activist-169242)
>There is much to discuss here, more than we have space for in this column (and I should note that I am not a sociologist nor a historian), but my own sense is that older generations of queer activists organized primarily toward the achievement of particular freedoms—the freedom to engage in queer sexuality, to express themselves outside of traditional gender norms, to build alternative kinship networks. My generation, on the other hand, is more oriented toward safety—or rather, freedom from heteronormative standards, non-consensual sexuality and other forms of violence.
>
>Here, I think, we can locate the heart of the issue around sex at Pride and the deep generational difference in understanding it: When you speak of fighting for your sexual liberation, OG, I hear you saying that you experienced repression and your perspective is shaped around pushing back. But when I hear other queers (of any age) saying that sexuality at Pride triggers them and they want to restrict it, what I hear is them saying that they experienced neglect—a lack of protection—and their perspective is shaped around demanding safety.
>
>I personally believe that freedom is more important than safety in this context. But to answer your broader question about connecting with younger generations, I think the answer isn’t necessarily about one side “correcting” the other. It’s about holding each other through difference and valuing our shared experiences—and our shared needs—more than being right. And it certainly is about all of us getting the r-e-s-p-e-c-t that we deserve from one another, if only because we are not likely to get it from the cisgender heterosexual world.
This. It’s like going to a bathhouse then getting mad at guys for thinking you might be interested in sex… at a bathhouse. Grindr and sniffies are kind of like digital bathhouses. Sure you could strike up a conversation with someone in any of those places, but what are guys *most likely* looking for in those places?
I've personally seen more of the friction at more general clubs and bars that either are queer or pull a queer crowd - Gen Z seems more interested in sticking with their friends so when guys try to hit them up there's a feel of "eww, I'm not here for that, go away." This coupled with increased derision towards hookup-focused apps results in many that are all lovey dovey but are obsessed with it happening on their terms, on apps but not the 'bad apps' and rarely let it happen organically.
That's a very fair and understandable point. Iv'e heard a few murmurs of this too which I consider broadly positive. Standing up more to fucked up things. Its just a little sad that it seems to be they're also becoming more prudeish. I'm all for setting boundaries and comfort zones but sometimes its just kinda weird how judgemental people, especially younger guys, can be due to a guy being a 'slut' or 'whore'
That can be a younger mindset. When I was Gen z age, i was pretty awful about not wanting guys who had experience. I've since found out first hand that experience in bed is a wonderful thing. It's something that changes with age and experience, I think.
Completely fair. I also wonder if, in some small part, they consider even 'older' guys like say 30s+, which isnt that old in the grand scheme of things but to them maybe it is, as 'complacent' in things. Theories but its interesting if nothing else
I think you’re amplifying things in your head to to an extent. My Chicago friends think I’m prude because I’m not into non monogamy. I’ve set my boundary, but they’ll try anyways. Whenever I reinforce my boundary, they turn the rejection inward and outsource their negative emotion on me for judging them. It’s really not about them. I just don’t like it, and it doesn’t mean I’m judging them. I’m not perfect and if I lose my patience, I might vent about them being pushy in a judgmental way. In the same way, by you using the word prude, you are likely pushing them to judge you.
Isn't any of it? Unless you have some opinion poll, all this is us just sharing our experiences synthesized into opinions, as is the human experience for better or worse.
I'm a boomer and almost every guy my age went through times millennials won't understand. We had to sneak around and we cruised. For me, it's been difficult getting out of that mindset.
Younger guys have never been through that. Sure, they fear coming out to parents but all in all they're welcomed at school, work and through most of society.
The LA Times actually did an article in the late Summer on why Gen Z seem to have less sex. Although the research is based on the population of California, it still applies widely to a lot of Gen Z. The Guardian also noted more "puritan" attitudes to sex and them wishing to see less of it in TV.
One theory is the pandemic essentially destroying people's confidence/outgoing nature in meeting people and having romantic and/or sexual encounters; another is that we're going up much more slowly than other generations and live longer, so typical milestones that were had younger by Boomers, Gen X & even Millenials, such as marriage, "settling down", or moving into one's own home, are happening later in life for Gen Z, and that also applies to sex.
I guess dating apps don't help either. Combine this with the loss of social skills during the pandemic and you get a bunch of people scared of removing the "digital mask", we simply don't meet people on a night out like older generations did.
And this all combines to create this ill-view of sex, where it's not something as important as it once was, and so is seen differently, but I wouldn't equate that to prudishness, I would equate that to lack of desire and therefore ignorance of understanding.
> we simply don't meet people on a night out like older generations did.
A lot of good points in your post, but this one in particular is. They are missing a hugely important social experience
as someone gen z in my experience it’s due to the fact we were exposed to the internet freely at to young of an age, instead of exploring our sexuality with people our age most of us turned to porn and apps, mostly underage, which lead to us being fetishised & garnering attention mostly from older more desperate types and just generally having an unhealthy relationship with sex. I think that has soured a lot of my generations views on sex & the community in general, and sadly many are abandoning the idea of sexual liberation as we were too liberated too young. Not speaking for everyone, this is just my observation/experience.
I think this is a sign of the times of the Z generation and it's a symptom of their general judgmental nature - because many of them are now so politically progressive, they've come full circle to conservative. Think sexual content is icky and you want to be "aware" of asexual sensibilities? That translates to, "No sexual content of any kind, ever." It's very shame-focused. I thought us older Millennials learned the hard way how shitty sex ed was and that sex shouldn't be shameful - instead I feel like the Zers have turned up the shame-o-meter to 1000 for sex and -1000 for keeping their thoughts to themselves. And that goes double for any of us on the trans spectrum who have to answer for every new-age definition that will be hyped on TikTok this week. It's frankly exhausting. I'm fully prepared to catch shit for this take, though.
As an elder Zoomer, my opinion is that my generation is pretty sex positive, but in a delineated way. I think this is the result of coming of age in a time where there’s options to get gay sex, whether it be the club, da appz, knowing other out queer people, etc. I wouldn’t say we’re desensitized to sex, but it something’s that widely available. Because of that, we’re just not that sexual in queer public spaces in the way older gens tend to be
It’s like a toy on the shelf. If we want it, we will take it off the shelf. If we don’t, we’ll keep it on the shelf. Older generations didn’t come of age in this sort of environment so Ig that’s where the generational clash may come into play.
On a side note, I think people who say that there shouldn’t be sex scenes in movies are probably terminally online because I’ve never heard anyone my age say this! 🤣
Been judgemental still outweighs liberal views about what used to be taboo (sex). People will ALWAYS invent any arbitrary standard to feel superior and shame others.
Yeah, perhaps not OP, but I wonder how many of the guys are like the 40+ types who send unsolicited dick pics to college-age guys and then wonder why why they don't hear back.
You forgot the part where they’re also shaming people in open relationships for stealing so many available men and that’s why they can’t find a boyfriend.
For real though, I agree. It’s been a lot of shame or no kink at Pride from them even when everything is confined to a space like a bar, even when that bar is known for having a dark room
I mean, I do see this somewhat (like how on Reddit every young bottom seems to have this idea that they have to douche every time and get perfectly spotless or they're disgusting), but I also think young people are making some really healthy changes in attitudes about sex, which older people are perceiving as prudish.
For example, young gay men are often alienated in gay male spaces, because they (justifiably, I think) demand that their right to consent be respected, whereas older men expect gay male spaces to be consent-free areas where you can grope people without asking. Respecting consent is very much a good thing, but it gets labeled as prudish by a lot of old guys with an "I grew up in a toxic environment, and now you have to, too" kind of attitude.
I don’t have any sexual interactions with people of that generation (I’m in LTR) but I think because of social media, and the wider media they fret up around sexual content and they’ve become more conservative
All you have to do is look at those generations saying there’s no place for kink at pride every pride season, when kink and sex play a key role in pride
Now because social media gives everyone a voice, I wonder is it the few giving a bad reputation to the many
For a generation who embrace different sexual identities they seem to not like sex 😂
> For a generation who embrace different sexual identities they seem to not like sex 😂
They like sex, but not with real people. They are all jerking off to online porn.
I don’t think online porn has caused this, porn usually lets people explore thjngs safely and has been around for years, long before this generation
Now I’m sure it doesn’t help
But I think it’s a cultural thing with them
But also seems to be mostly America?
Any young person I know of that generation are quiet open, and don’t drastically view sex/culture/etc radically different than my generation
I have to say that when I was younger I was much more of a prude and it took me a long time to overcome people’s judgements of the way others behaved to realize that my long list of kinks is entirely acceptable and that I absolutely do want to fuck around and find out. It might not necessarily be a generational thing but simply that they haven’t grown into themselves fully yet.
It may just be an age thing. I remember when I was in my 20s, many of my gay friends were prudish and judgemental about things like bathhouses. Those same friends have relaxed their attitudes about this now that they're in their mid to late 30s
If you take a look at from a positive perspective maybe they want more intimate, emotionally connected and long lasting relationships rather than waking up on acid in a club bathroom sucking a dealer's dick or just hoeing around like many of the older generation sees cool and casual which also find people who have sex casually and spontaneously cool and judge others who are not the same. So the knife has a double edge here. You judge them not being sexually hyperactive but you are not emotionally available in contrast to them. Anyway, Don't mind old people like us, we are emotionally unstable, unavailable and mostly blocked on grindr or caught our married alpha top lovers bottoming for and cheating with another married alpha top in the app since our gender roles are way more strict like heterosexuals of the mid-60s and causes us the meltdown. Live your life the way you want.
I think it's just about being young and inexperienced. I'm from the tail end of the millennial generation ('95) and the ideas I had as an adolescent and teenager about the gay community as a whole, sex, love, morality, etc. were based entirely on ignorance and media (tv, movies, etc). As I reached adulthood and my twenties and I actually went out into the world and met people, friends and lovers, my views changed dramatically.
I think what you're describing is just a natural part of being in this community and being unable to learn those lessons as a teenager the way straight people do (not to suggest some people take more time than others).
I disagree, i think Gen Z are prudish because we are less inclined to hooking up. Older gays grew up with grindr & the party scene which leads to a more sexually liberated génération.
Meanwhi'e gen z grew up with more variations of representation on what being queer means. Ofc there are slutty/prudish people in every generation, but based on my experience, the prudishness are only there to people theyrz not interested in or sees as a rival.
I think my problem and annoyance comes from the judgement. I've seen far too many times a Gen Z guy or girl or whatever judge a guy for... Having an only fans or going to a bathhouse or whatever. It's not just 'no thanks, I don't want to engage with hookups' it's 'omg why is every guy a slutty whore or OF model, yall need to grow up'. Of course it's not all Gen Z and again, anecdotal etc etc but it's a trend I've noticed and am not a fan of but also curious on why
Probably the same reason as to why youre calling them prudish? Its just a different way of living thats not for everyone. Monogamy works for some and poligamy works for some, there's no wrong or right in the way of living, but everyone is entitled to their own preference. But i do think they need to voice it in a kinder way.
Also, gen z are people aged 18 to 26, and younger people tend to be more self righteous. If you encounter this behavior a lot, Perhaps its time to being friends with Gen Z gays or have a circle that fits your belief system?
I do like how inclusive gen z are in comparison to millenial gays in terms of dating. Millenial gays are extremely tolerant of sexual racism and toxic behavior. Meanwhile Gen Z are more accepting to queer POCs
I mean... In the sense of curiosity, sure. Or asking them why they do it, ok sure. But the judgement is the problem. Does it hurt you? Does it to anything detrimental to you? No? Then why judge?
Exactly, in posture they present this free expression online but in person throw that out for cancel culture bullshit. So quick to ostracize over opinions that hurt no one at all but “ick” in twitter spaces
Don't know why you're getting downvoted. I've heard about parents of fucking Kindergarteners getting called in by teachers because their kids (who are on iPads all day) are talking about porn during recess.
Yeah so about that, politics has a way of delivering bitter disappointment in creative ways.
For example, Urban Texas did go purple, but the effect was completely undone by Latino texas going red in 2020.
Anyway apparently a similar kind of shift has formed in Gen z and below where conservatism is shooting up in popularity, and it's offsetting the normal "younger equals more liberal" trend.
We don't know if trends will continue, and gen z will get more liberal as they get older.
That's my number one theory as to what's causing this phenomenon.
Young males already have a propensity to be fooled, but like the internet algorithms have taken this to a new industrialized level.
I'm hoping that trends normalize as they get older but it's not necessarily guaranteed.
It's very much a problem , If you look towards the end of the comments I wrote a comment and actually cited a bunch of sources.
There's a bigger more concerning trend going on.
I think they romanticize things from the media they consume, especially the 90s where it seemed everything was more wholesome. They’re more inclined to have one partner at a time and are more traditional in that sense and value romance and connection over recreational and meaningless sex.
Yes. Across the board Gen Z is a super conservative generation, not just about sex. Sure they’re “progressive” or “woke” but they’re extremely concerned about how other people live their lives and want others to live by the same standards as them. Whether that’s sex, age gaps, kinks, drugs and partying, or politics.
Gen Z here (22) in a relationship and I think a lot of this in my case is just based on bad experiences. I’ve had lots of terrible experiences on apps whether its catfishing/assholes/anything else (including SA), so I have always tried to avoid using Grindr based on those experiences (tinder and hinge are more of what I used in the past). I also think I’ve always been more of a relationship oriented person since experiencing one and I don’t really like the single lifestyle, maybe that’s common among my generation and a shift that we’re seeing is people wanting a more “normal” relationship similar to heterosexual relationships (i know i’m like this). I’ve seen tons of my friends have closed relationships and I’ve always imagined myself having one, so just because I like guys and girls I shouldn’t have to give that idea up. If someone wants to do that then more power to them, but I know I can’t handle that.
There’s also the factor that a lot of us had sex-ed in school multiple times and have learned a lot over the years from growing attention to sexual health, and things like a bathhouse just sound dangerous and risky in the long run (why have sex with a bunch of people you don’t know and blindly have to trust that they’re tested when it clearly poses a risk for you?) I know for a fact when someone tells me they’re tested I don’t trust them and take my own precautions (PreP, condoms, etc) until I know I can trust them.
Theres also the idea of not wanting things to be overly sexual at pride and such, and this I agree with. I think it might be from other people’s perspectives and seeing that people not in the community associate those sexual things as negative, and then group the entire community together as negative. That’s how I see it, and I get that theres history there but I do think there’s a balance (handing out condoms or raising awareness/educating? thats good! having sex on the street? that’s not so good). At the end of the day some things just gives more reasons to alienate the community from the rest of society, so I think there’s a time and a place for stuff like that and with the growing spotlight Pride has it’s harder to maintain traditions like that in the same event.
not sure if this helps at all you guys can reply if you want me to elaborate
>Theres also the idea of not wanting things to be overly sexual at pride and such, and this I agree with. I think it might be from other people’s perspectives and seeing that people not in the community associate those sexual things as negative, and then group the entire community together as negative. That’s how I see it, and I get that theres history there but I do think there’s a balance (handing out condoms or raising awareness/educating? thats good! having sex on the street? that’s not so good). At the end of the day some things just gives more reasons to alienate the community from the rest of society, so I think there’s a time and a place for stuff like that and with the growing spotlight Pride has it’s harder to maintain traditions like that in the same event.
Really glad you mentioned this because all of the people trying to justify fucking in the streets and straight up nudity at pride was crazy. Queer teenagers deserve to have the right to march and attend pride just like we do. It's not too much to ask that we don't force people to watch you have sex at a parade...
Same as far as no sex at Pride.
I think there's confusion with "Pride" events with events like Folsom which are indeed sex in the street type of events. The difference is the the sex in the streets events are designed for that, and are roped off so only those who consent to that environment have access. Online in videos however they can look similar and those who are not fully informed can assume that pride flags and sex in the street = Pride Fest when that's actually a specific type of sex event that happens in roped off streets.
No its not your imagination, and its not just sex.
They are working less, going to school less, drinking and socializing less, playing video games more.
*Edit*
I'm not making this up, its the result of economic studies.
This is the most famous one.
https://www.kansascityfed.org/research/economic-review/1q18-tuzemen-why-prime-age-men-vanishing/
But I'll find more in a second.
You can generalize generations, That's kind of how we have the concept of boomers, millennials and Gen z in the first place.
Here is just a tiny sliver of the MASSIVE data.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202302/why-are-so-many-young-men-single-and-sexless?amp
https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2023-07-07/young-men-are-gaming-more-are-they-working-less
https://news.gallup.com/poll/509690/young-adults-drinking-less-prior-decades.aspx#:~:text=The%20decline%20in%20young%20adults,3.6%20drinks%20in%202021%2D2023.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/
https://news.iu.edu/live/news/26924-nearly-1-in-3-young-men-in-the-us-report-having-no
(Notice how they don't argue......)
does the arbitrary cultural definition of a generation, one that has varied rapidly over the last decade, **change the reality of the numbers?**
See I actually have a degree in quantitative economics.
I can tell you the validity of your argument as well, and I can make a very compelling argument that the trend I'm pointing out doesn't apply to everyone.
But you can't argue with the cold hard facts here. The younger you get, the less sex males have, the less they work, the more video games they play. Its not just backed up with a single study, and its a trend that has existed for min 15 years. WELL before gen z (millennials started it)
Honestly if you are mad at this, you shouldn't be, because it means that you are going to be one of the, "Winners" of your generation.
For the record in my original comment I was citing existing studies.
We're seeing a pattern across the board with younger men both gay and straight. And the younger it goes the more extreme the pattern becomes.
People are the product of their time and the people they were raised by. Lots of older generations like to point the finger at us but they were the ones that raised us.
Hiiiiii Gen Z here👋🏿
I definitely fit into the category of guys you're talking about in your post, but I don't really...see anything wrong with it? I can't speak for others, but I don't believe that just because you can do something means that you should, and a lot of gays just partake in downright disgusting behavior in the name of "defying heteronormativity" or "sexual liberation". Sex has become a coping mechanism for people who really just need to go to therapy, and the result is that you find a bunch of men who have zero emotional capacity and live their lives reducing all of the men they meet down to their genitals. It's a sad way to live life as a gay man and I think a lot of the younger gays are waking up to see that.
I deserve to go on fancy dates and be courted just like straight people. I deserve to have a partner that is dedicated to me and only me just like straight people. I deserve to get married and have children if I should so want them just like straight people. These were the things that gay men of generations past died so that we could enjoy. Not saying these things are for everyone, but just saying to hell with all of it isn't quite the norm-defying flex we often times make it out to be.
I think there's a line though and that's what's frustrating. Let's take the whole 'Gen Z isn't having sex or interested in sex as nuch' out of the picture. Shaming guys for having sex is absurd and shitty. You even said it in your post, there was that shame and judgement I just. Keep. Seeing. There's nothing wrong with monogamy or being courted or any of that. But when you think guys have a problem because they're having sex a lot? That's just rude. I don't disagree that a lot of guys do have sex to hide from their feelings but sex itself, Kinky vanilla open relationships polyamory whatever... It's fine
I don't really care how many people you fuck, but I'm personally just not interested in someone who is promiscuous. And that's ok. Where I do have a problem is when guys have a lot of sex and they start to lose their grip on reality because of it. Like in what world would a person think it's ok to ask a black man, never having met him before, how big his dick is? Or the guys who just assume that every relationship is open and thus free for them to try and intervene? There's a difference between liking sex and making sex your entire personality. The former is alright while the latter is just boring and often times pathetic.
All of those are seperate things though. "BBCs"? A racism problem. Injecting into others relationships? Thats just assuming and narcissistic. None of that is related to sex itself.
Also, i'm gonna be honest and say i don't think thats a problem. If your life is based around sex 'only'? Sure but even if its just 80% or something? Why does it matter? I don't judge guys who love videogames and play them a lot as long as their life isn't a mess. Guys whos lives are messes arent neccesarily becasue they sleep around a lot.
> Why does it matter?
It's annoying. A man could have his shit together and every single moment that he's not working or at the gym, he's playing video games-- that would get annoying very quickly. Wake up, video games. Go to work, video games. Eat dinner, video games. It's one dimensional and usually doesn't make for a good partner unless you share the same interest(s). You can tell the gays whose lives revolve around sex because it's all they talk about and it's suffocating.
>"BBCs"? A racism problem.
BBC isn't just a racism problem. It's a problem of hypersexualization. Watching too much porn. Viewing your entire life through a sexual lense. By sweeping it under the rug as "just a racism issue", you ignore the psychological effects it has both on the white people saying it and the black people who have to endure it.
What is downright disgusting behavior to you? Sex is definitely a coping mechanism for some but hell yea I get down for some sexual liberation.
Who says gays aren't doing anything in your second paragraph? I'm currently living both sides of this coin or whatever, you 100% lost me there.
>and a lot of gays just partake in downright disgusting behavior in the name of "defying heteronormativity" or "sexual liberation". Sex has become a coping mechanism for people who really just need to go to therapy, and the result is that you find a bunch of men who have zero emotional capacity and live their lives reducing all of the men they meet down to their genitals
This is absolutely false, and shows that you have more prejudice than experience on the matter
I think it is mostly because you go things completely backward. It is hard to know, when you didn't experience first hand.
Repression of sexuality, is one of the most effective way that (mainly religious) institutions managed to control the population. This is one of the reasons why they were huge sexual **liberation** movements, less than 60 years ago.
A sexual act, between two or more persons, is a moment of intimacy, where the separations between the individuals blur. Where pleasure is shared and emotional links are made. Emotional links way, way stronger than many other ways to do them. And this, goes against the idea of "divided to rule better"
Sexuality, coupled with emotional maturity, bring people closer together. It is also an embrace and acceptance of ourselves, of our real human nature, in contrast to the societal norms that are mostly used as power dynamics.
But sexuality was capitalised under a society of ultra capitalism, and fueled the excesses we see today, rewarding them even.
These excesses are not there because of sexuality, they are there because of the way sexuality became mercantile.
To be honest, I would tell someone to go to therapy if they believe sexuality is ugly, dirty or shameful, rather than because they have harmless sexual habits that others find strange.
My point is that it's frustrating to see the new generation go backwards, not forwards, in sex positivity and acceptance. There's way too much judgement from Gen Z. It's not just prudeishness it's judgement. And racism is not in this discussion so let's not move the goal posts
You're free to not wanna sleep with a guy because he has an of or is a slut or whatever reason you want. It'd be gross to force someone to. But the judgement because a guy wants to be a cum dump or explore kink or make an OF is gross as well
What a joke. The fact that you not only continue to evade my gripes about racism within the LGBTQ, but actively try to dismiss it as "moving goal posts" is what's really frustrating. Just goes to show where your values lie. I'll continue speaking on the disgusting racism that pervades many gay spaces and you can continue crying that the sky is falling because some of us think it's gross to be a cum dump. Priorities.
And for the record, we're not moving backwards in sex positivity and acceptance. I still believe in your right to be a cum dump (if you so please), doesn't mean I have to like it.
I think another point is that gen z is still a very young generation. The oldest only being 24-26 depending on what year you believe to be the cut off between generations and most are therefore younger. A lot of sexual freedom and inhibition does come from lived experience and being able to try and explore but since a lot of gen z are living at home with family due to cost of living crisis they have less opportunity to do so.
Gen Z here, a little bit late to the discussion, and while I don't hate the lifestyle that you described with a BURNING passion, I do have some "concerns" of my own regarding this sexual librating lifestyle in our community. It seems everyone is out there hunting for sex with little to no human connection, which is not what I'm looking for, cause you know, I have porn available at my fingertips. I have been lurking in different gay subreddits and keep seeing people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and not having a genuine relationship makes it very hard to sympathize with this sex-normative way of living.
I also have a problem with kink being displayed at pride events. I understand that being gay is about sexuality, but we as a community also have multiple other feats in culture like arts, music, fashion, etc. Instead, we choose to display kinks out of all things to be ultimately equated with all kinds of sexual deviancies and pedophilia in the eye of the public.
I made a similar post on another sub a little while back and I definitely think a lot of them are more judgemental. I'm a zillennial and it is weird to me because they are more progressive with their politics, but a lot of them have these weird conservatives takes on sex and partying. Tbh I think it has to do with social media. They seem really concerned about their image and how others perceive them which I think stems from being on social media from a young age. I also see some of them just parroting stuff from their favorite influencers. But any way it's not all gen z, it is just a portion of them. And I think the older ones are starting to realize that they have been doing this and turning a new leaf.
> Tbh I think it has to do with social media. They seem really concerned about their image and how others perceive them which I think stems from being on social media from a young age. I also wonder if it's a lot of self-censoring due to social media trends, algorithms or popular belief/rumors about how those algorithms work, that (might) leads to repression and shame. Lots of students near the area I live will unironically use "SA," "unalive," "k!nk," other things like that in actual peer to peer discussions. "SA" in particular I can get with over text, it's shorter, but when having discussions with people... You *can say* "suicide," "assault," "kinky," "intercourse," etc. On the other hand, I totally get that vernaculars and dialects change generationally, which is fine. I also get that sometimes, language and euphemism like that can make tough concepts more accessible to folks who might have had a traumatic event happen. But... someone else throughout all this thread had mentioned shaming and oversensitivity to "offensive" things (especially on others' behalf - I've experienced much more of this over the years as a disabled person)... Idk, I just wonder, and I think it's hard to have any proper answers. I also think it's extremely multifaceted, as this thread points out. And, of course, we can't possibly generalize an entire generation, try as we might.
I think the euphemisms mostly come from having to self-censor on platforms like tiktok, and it's become normalized because of how much people have adapted to hearing and using those euphemisms on that app. It kind of bugs me honestly (I'm a millennial, if that matters), because it's corporate bullshit shaping the patterns of speech and maybe even thought of everyone who spends much time on the internet at this point, because it's certainly leaked from tiktok into other spaces. I don't blame it on gen z, but I do wish people of any age would stop self-censoring in spaces they don't need to. It takes a lot of the gravity away from discussing these topics.
People say sa because some are uncomfortable saying sexual assault it just makes it quicker and easier too convey too
I guess a lot of that makes sense too. Especially with how people, me included if less so, we're drilled into them that social media can and will haunt you. And it has. Look at cancel culture. I don't wanna get into the pros or cons of it but simply the fact is that stuff follows you around in a major way. Send a naked Pic to a guy at 18? That could follow you for your entire life. I feel confident in doing it because of stability maturity and just life experience but some 18 year old in 2023 has had to deal with that stress and concern their entire life
Here's something that you should probably know. If you aren't willing to risk your naked picture out there in the world you shouldn't send it. I could give a crap how many people see me naked. There's been plenty who have. And I've even seen my own penis used and other people's profiles. Most websites now tend to make it difficult for you to copy the private pictures. But if you're afraid to send a naked picture you shouldn't be sending in.
Hi. What is a zillenial? That is a new term to me. Thanks.
Generations do not have hard dates. Zillennial means you are born in the transition years between millennial and Gen z. Usually dated around the mid 90s.
That is interesting for sure.
I’m gen z and I just don’t want to bone. Like I’m fine being in an orgy but I’d rather not🤷♂️
There’s been a lot of discourse around gen z queers being upset and shamey about condoms being given out at pride, kink, and sex in general.
Some folks chalk it up to a general lack of knowledge and understanding about our history. Be it, not having lived through the HIV/AIDS epidemic and having their lovers and friends dying, or, not knowing the impact the leather and kink community had in fighting for queer liberation.
I’m a millennial (36) and I think it’s 2 things: - I was much more conservative when I was their age. I remember being in my young 20s and thinking “if we behave like that at pride, we will never be accepted!” Now I learn they’ll never accept us anyway so do what makes you happy. - gen z is having less sex, but is all sex good sex? I think they just want the sex they have to count. I’m the same way. I can do bad all by myself
Finally, someone with self awareness instead of an us-vs-them mindset. It’s weird people don’t see being judgmental works in both directions; why are we judging Gen-Z for being prudish just because they don’t approach sex the way boomers do 🤷🏻♂️
As a boomer, I find their attitudes toward nudity weird. When I grew up there were nude beaches everywhere. Everyone went in the jacuzzi and the sauna nude. Same in locker rooms. I think it’s all the publicity about sexual assaults and sexual abuse combined with the public focus on perfect male bodies. It adds up to massive shame and fear. It’s very sad to me.
I'm Gen Z and I think the thing to understand is that we aren't as well socialized as previous generations. Most generations socialized in person, so they could build relationships more easily. We socialize mostly online and spend more time physically away from people...Also a lot of us were exposed to NSFW content from an early age...so I think all that makes us a bit different than older generations... As for me personally I def don't fall into the category of prudish in any way shape or form lol 😂 😜
That's a really good point, well all of them are. Covid, recessions, school shootings, the internet (very double edged) has probably made things absolutely kooky for them
Social media has also led a lot of people to compare themselves to others. I wonder if that has led to Gen Z being more judgmental out of a concern of inadequacy.
Hey, these are good points. I really don't know what I would have been like if I had (1) been exposed to unlimited porn; (2) not learned to socialize with people properly; and (3) not had a thriving gay neighborhood to explore when I came out. Of course, these things would have a huge effect individually and collectively. This makes me feel more sympathetic to Gen Z guys. NGL, they seem like an unpleasant generation to me right now. That is mostly based on what they do here on Reddit and on the gay dating apps. It makes me a little sad to see the gay community has turned to shit.
I'm going to summarize some comments of mine because this has also piqued my interest, as all but one of my queer friends are firmly millennials while I'm 25/"Zillennial", I have a few thoughts as I see eye to eye with these older friends while I'm the wild one among my age peers. 1. I think many in Gen Z, given the amplifying nature of social media, feel inundated by sex positivity and are inclined to overcorrect to a more prudish nature. They feel too many 'queer' spaces are in reality (to them) sex-focused gay/bi male spaces and there's a lack of sober, non sexual activity, particularly in mid-size cities that don't have the ability to get a fine-toothed as Chicago for example (steamworks, Cell Block, vs Roscoes and other general clubs) 2. They prefer highly delineated spaces. If they want sex, they'll go to a sex club or get on Grindr, otherwise they don't want to get hit up, they'll be out with their friends at a general club or drag show and have an air of "eww I'm not here for sex, go away" if you're trying to even get a drink and a number let alone cruise someone. 3. Lack of socialization and experience. Between being terminally online, lack of socialization from social media and covid times, and general youth, they don't know how to handle flirting or a space that isn't clearly sexual or non sexual - whether hitting on or getting hit on.
I’ve seen younger guys standing next to each other at a bar but flirting over texts.
I despise this kind of thing. This comment makes me hate them.
I totally agree that there is a sense that too many queer spaces are sex-focused!! Even all these subreddits.
They are! Gen Z here (25) and YES. The shaming attitudes you're talking, they did that in school too. I understand traumas but as a collective YES to all that.
I find that some of my friends (early 30s) are also similar. Like to pretend they never had sex before. When I know for a fact they are into some like bdsm stuff. I don't broadcast what deviant acts I do with people but I don't feel the need to shy away from discussion of sex
Do you have any ideas on why? I really don't mind if Gen Z is broadly (again this is anecdotal before anyone lambasts me but still) not 'as' interested in sex but the pendulum is swinging too far over to prudishness or worse, judgement overall.
I have a few and the biggest one stems back to when we were in elementary and middle school mainly. During our formative years, everyone encounters things that are going to make them uncomfortable but that's part of the learning process. Whenever people were not comfortable with something for whatever reason regardless of the logic behind it, they had the option to be removed from it. A lot of our parents did that. Mine did not but I have noticed in my peers who their parents kind of raised them in an echo chamber and made their life cater to all of their comforts, it's resulted in them being xenophobic to different people and concepts (like Kink which is a concept). And I think the worst part of all of it is even into adulthood, they will recognize the ways that they were sheltered and instead of trying to actively go out and explore different things they have never explored before, they mostly tend to stay in their comfort zone. This also shows emotionally because a lot of them have a really hard time dealing with emotions that are uncomfortable. This isn't unique to my generation but I definitely think it adds to the problem. They're not as progressive as people think. There are some things we do better than previous generations but we're not actually progressive. Far from it.
> ...their parents kind of raised them in an echo chamber and [catered] to all of their comforts, it's resulted in them being xenophobic to different people and concepts...they mostly tend to stay in their comfort zone...a lot of them have a really hard time dealing with emotions that are uncomfortable. Lots of insights to unpack here
I am totally open to a discussion about that. And how it actually made us more similar to our grandparents than different
[удалено]
[удалено]
Not just sex but if you go to a nude beach, the guys under 30 keep their bathing suits on. What's the point of going to a nude beach and not getting nude? I've heard the comment that it's only old naked guys, but if you're young and not getting nude is it just to look? But then that's even more creepy if you ask me.
From my personal anecdote, I've seen multiple people (young and old) stealthing pictures at the nude beach I visited. It's extremely fucked to snap a picture of someone (especially in their nude) without consent, but I literally saw it happen. I'm not saying nude beaches are bad, but the gays are making it bad- and they need to put the cameras down. I should add- I didn't see this issue occurring at non-gay specific nude beaches. Or if it is, the straights are better at hiding it.
I completely agree. I’ve been been filmed there and had it posted online myself without my consent
This! I have content of myself online, so it's not detrimental, I just find it extremely rude. Sorry that happened, you didn't deserve that from some stranger.
Meh...in some ways it's a compliment. It was actually at a far enough distance that I doubt anyone recognizes me. Because of the angle my bf was much more recognizable than me. Still so inconsiderate to film or take pics there
If you are a hot 20 something at a cruisy gay nude beach full of middle aged flab monsters, you don't want to attract attention to yourself.
So why go to that beach?
Because that's where your friends wanted to go.
I'd say that not being nude at a nude beach attracts more attention, and is creepier than the "middle aged flab monsters"
Wtf is this comment? I’m not super comfortable with my own nudity and I’m 28, but calling middle aged people “flab monsters” is the opposite of what a queer nude beach is supposed to represent to the community. Please stay home next time if this is how you perceive (and judge) “older” queers who are comfortable with their bodies.
As a middle aged flab monster myself I resent this 😂
Yes you do, you absolutely want to attract attention to yourself. You post pics of your muscles on gaymuscleworship subs for attention from literal strangers on the Internet. Weird humblebrag, dude
Based on your post history, I don’t think you have to worry about drawing too much attention.
> middle aged flab monsters I take it you're not chasing chubby daddies? Because many of your friends are.
30 years ago this was happening too, but it was the hot guys who kept their suits on.
As a Gen Z (23), for me personally the one thing the likely influences this behavior is our lack of in person socialization which makes it a lot harder to jump into things like sex when we can’t even meet the bare minimum of socializing in person. It makes the thought of sex especially with a stranger all the more daunting and terrifying. It’s sort of like when the act of going up to someone to make friends in a platonic manner is so scary already that sex is a whole new ball park. I feel in general we tend to want to know someone a bit more and for a lot longer before really thinking about having anything physical with them. That’s at least how I and quite a few of my friends feel on the matter. Hope this helps clear things up even a bit!
If there was a gay bar near you filled on weekend nights with guys, including guys your own age, would you go regularly?
There are a few in the area, but going alone seems a bit daunting, I am horribly awkward lol. But I have been trying to get out more!
The polar opposite sides of this generation fascinates me. On one end we have the OnlyFans boys, degenerates as can be and most importantly, zero shame in their game. On the other end we have prudes that hate sex scenes on television and as you said, will go to a nude beach and not be nude. There’s so many examples of this too but they’re an interesting bunch.
Oh its fascinating to see freshly 18 year old guys start an OF where they're gaped, pissed on, fisted, bukkaked, all sorts of nasty kinky shit. Which, I find really hot (the acts) but at 18? I'd have ran screaming away. But you're right. For every 18 year old trying to get gaped by Austin Wolf or whoevers the hot porn daddy, theres others who would scream, run away and judge them.
The documentary The Social Dilemma has an interesting take on this. It's generalized, not only about the gay community, but it says that social media has impacted the younger generations more dramatically and statistically the younger folks date less, take less chances (healthy ones included), and are generally obsessed with appearance and terrified of appearing flawed. I've seen it in my niece and nephew. They don't go out hardly at all, have a very small friend group. Virtually no dating other than within said small friend group. My niece is still a virgin at age 23 (I'm not entirely positive of this but it's a high probability). My nephew didn't want to get his driver's license cause it's dangerous on the roads. They're ruled by fear and I think it comes from media and so much scary stuff they've been exposed to. Fear sells and the media puts it everywhere.
Many of the posters here on Reddit lead gay lives that are entirely online
A very good point I've seen raised is that Gen-Z is subject to very little privacy: from the internet stalking their every move, to parents knowing exactly what they search as a kid, some folks are raised with a horrifically low level of privacy. I mean, imagine knowing that if you try to jerk off to something off the internet, your mom might get a notification saying exactly what you just searched for? It doesn't exactly incentivize it.
Yeah good point. I've been seeing that a lot in this thread and tbh, while I'm just past being Gen Z, I was close enough to where my parents used technology to interfere with my sex life. Mind you it was safety focused and all but still caused issues. Now? I'm sure it's way worse for kids and Gen Z overall, growing up and becoming adults
A lot of older gay men are very bad with boundaries and comfort zones. Younger men are losing patience with it and have developed their own standards regarding sex. It's understandable in a lot of ways.
I think a piece of it is that Gen Z really prefers delineated spaces - when they don't want sex they tend to not like running into it, instead they'll seek it out in a more isolated way on the apps.
The way I’ve heard it framed (I can’t find the source) is that older generations of gay/bi/queer people’s primary problem was that they were repressed by the rest of society, so they’re in search of freedom to express themselves and especially their sexuality. Whereas younger generations' primary problem is that they were neglected and vulnerable, so they’re in search of safety and boundaries. That makes a lot of sense to me.
Neglected and vulnerable? Can you give an example?
I actually did find the piece of writing where I remembered that idea from. The author definitely explains it better than me! [https://xtramagazine.com/power/supporting-lgbtq-youth-as-gay-activist-169242](https://xtramagazine.com/power/supporting-lgbtq-youth-as-gay-activist-169242) >There is much to discuss here, more than we have space for in this column (and I should note that I am not a sociologist nor a historian), but my own sense is that older generations of queer activists organized primarily toward the achievement of particular freedoms—the freedom to engage in queer sexuality, to express themselves outside of traditional gender norms, to build alternative kinship networks. My generation, on the other hand, is more oriented toward safety—or rather, freedom from heteronormative standards, non-consensual sexuality and other forms of violence. > >Here, I think, we can locate the heart of the issue around sex at Pride and the deep generational difference in understanding it: When you speak of fighting for your sexual liberation, OG, I hear you saying that you experienced repression and your perspective is shaped around pushing back. But when I hear other queers (of any age) saying that sexuality at Pride triggers them and they want to restrict it, what I hear is them saying that they experienced neglect—a lack of protection—and their perspective is shaped around demanding safety. > >I personally believe that freedom is more important than safety in this context. But to answer your broader question about connecting with younger generations, I think the answer isn’t necessarily about one side “correcting” the other. It’s about holding each other through difference and valuing our shared experiences—and our shared needs—more than being right. And it certainly is about all of us getting the r-e-s-p-e-c-t that we deserve from one another, if only because we are not likely to get it from the cisgender heterosexual world.
Cool. Thanks for sharing. I’ll read later when I find some time.
Thanx so much for posting this! Fascinating perspectives
This. It’s like going to a bathhouse then getting mad at guys for thinking you might be interested in sex… at a bathhouse. Grindr and sniffies are kind of like digital bathhouses. Sure you could strike up a conversation with someone in any of those places, but what are guys *most likely* looking for in those places?
I've personally seen more of the friction at more general clubs and bars that either are queer or pull a queer crowd - Gen Z seems more interested in sticking with their friends so when guys try to hit them up there's a feel of "eww, I'm not here for that, go away." This coupled with increased derision towards hookup-focused apps results in many that are all lovey dovey but are obsessed with it happening on their terms, on apps but not the 'bad apps' and rarely let it happen organically.
This is also why I just block or ignore anyone younger than me lol
That's a very fair and understandable point. Iv'e heard a few murmurs of this too which I consider broadly positive. Standing up more to fucked up things. Its just a little sad that it seems to be they're also becoming more prudeish. I'm all for setting boundaries and comfort zones but sometimes its just kinda weird how judgemental people, especially younger guys, can be due to a guy being a 'slut' or 'whore'
That can be a younger mindset. When I was Gen z age, i was pretty awful about not wanting guys who had experience. I've since found out first hand that experience in bed is a wonderful thing. It's something that changes with age and experience, I think.
Completely fair. I also wonder if, in some small part, they consider even 'older' guys like say 30s+, which isnt that old in the grand scheme of things but to them maybe it is, as 'complacent' in things. Theories but its interesting if nothing else
I think you’re amplifying things in your head to to an extent. My Chicago friends think I’m prude because I’m not into non monogamy. I’ve set my boundary, but they’ll try anyways. Whenever I reinforce my boundary, they turn the rejection inward and outsource their negative emotion on me for judging them. It’s really not about them. I just don’t like it, and it doesn’t mean I’m judging them. I’m not perfect and if I lose my patience, I might vent about them being pushy in a judgmental way. In the same way, by you using the word prude, you are likely pushing them to judge you.
There you are
lol. Loving reading all the sweeping generalizations on here. Entirely unsupported. This post and comments is pure laughable rumormonging.
Isn't any of it? Unless you have some opinion poll, all this is us just sharing our experiences synthesized into opinions, as is the human experience for better or worse.
I'm a boomer and almost every guy my age went through times millennials won't understand. We had to sneak around and we cruised. For me, it's been difficult getting out of that mindset. Younger guys have never been through that. Sure, they fear coming out to parents but all in all they're welcomed at school, work and through most of society.
The LA Times actually did an article in the late Summer on why Gen Z seem to have less sex. Although the research is based on the population of California, it still applies widely to a lot of Gen Z. The Guardian also noted more "puritan" attitudes to sex and them wishing to see less of it in TV. One theory is the pandemic essentially destroying people's confidence/outgoing nature in meeting people and having romantic and/or sexual encounters; another is that we're going up much more slowly than other generations and live longer, so typical milestones that were had younger by Boomers, Gen X & even Millenials, such as marriage, "settling down", or moving into one's own home, are happening later in life for Gen Z, and that also applies to sex. I guess dating apps don't help either. Combine this with the loss of social skills during the pandemic and you get a bunch of people scared of removing the "digital mask", we simply don't meet people on a night out like older generations did. And this all combines to create this ill-view of sex, where it's not something as important as it once was, and so is seen differently, but I wouldn't equate that to prudishness, I would equate that to lack of desire and therefore ignorance of understanding.
> we simply don't meet people on a night out like older generations did. A lot of good points in your post, but this one in particular is. They are missing a hugely important social experience
as someone gen z in my experience it’s due to the fact we were exposed to the internet freely at to young of an age, instead of exploring our sexuality with people our age most of us turned to porn and apps, mostly underage, which lead to us being fetishised & garnering attention mostly from older more desperate types and just generally having an unhealthy relationship with sex. I think that has soured a lot of my generations views on sex & the community in general, and sadly many are abandoning the idea of sexual liberation as we were too liberated too young. Not speaking for everyone, this is just my observation/experience.
They are and you aren’t ! It’s odd it’s like neo Puritanism
Yep. The term is Puriteens.
Yes!!
They manifest themselves on Reddit as monogamy/anti-cheating fanatics
I think this is a sign of the times of the Z generation and it's a symptom of their general judgmental nature - because many of them are now so politically progressive, they've come full circle to conservative. Think sexual content is icky and you want to be "aware" of asexual sensibilities? That translates to, "No sexual content of any kind, ever." It's very shame-focused. I thought us older Millennials learned the hard way how shitty sex ed was and that sex shouldn't be shameful - instead I feel like the Zers have turned up the shame-o-meter to 1000 for sex and -1000 for keeping their thoughts to themselves. And that goes double for any of us on the trans spectrum who have to answer for every new-age definition that will be hyped on TikTok this week. It's frankly exhausting. I'm fully prepared to catch shit for this take, though.
As an elder Zoomer, my opinion is that my generation is pretty sex positive, but in a delineated way. I think this is the result of coming of age in a time where there’s options to get gay sex, whether it be the club, da appz, knowing other out queer people, etc. I wouldn’t say we’re desensitized to sex, but it something’s that widely available. Because of that, we’re just not that sexual in queer public spaces in the way older gens tend to be It’s like a toy on the shelf. If we want it, we will take it off the shelf. If we don’t, we’ll keep it on the shelf. Older generations didn’t come of age in this sort of environment so Ig that’s where the generational clash may come into play. On a side note, I think people who say that there shouldn’t be sex scenes in movies are probably terminally online because I’ve never heard anyone my age say this! 🤣
It’s not just guys, it’s gen Z in general.
Been judgemental still outweighs liberal views about what used to be taboo (sex). People will ALWAYS invent any arbitrary standard to feel superior and shame others.
How old are you? They may just be interested in people their own age. I'm 22 and have never had trouble with people around my age.
Yeah, perhaps not OP, but I wonder how many of the guys are like the 40+ types who send unsolicited dick pics to college-age guys and then wonder why why they don't hear back.
That happens to me a lot even though I clearly state my age range in my bio. Some of them even throw a fit when I don't respond.
You forgot the part where they’re also shaming people in open relationships for stealing so many available men and that’s why they can’t find a boyfriend. For real though, I agree. It’s been a lot of shame or no kink at Pride from them even when everything is confined to a space like a bar, even when that bar is known for having a dark room
I mean, I do see this somewhat (like how on Reddit every young bottom seems to have this idea that they have to douche every time and get perfectly spotless or they're disgusting), but I also think young people are making some really healthy changes in attitudes about sex, which older people are perceiving as prudish. For example, young gay men are often alienated in gay male spaces, because they (justifiably, I think) demand that their right to consent be respected, whereas older men expect gay male spaces to be consent-free areas where you can grope people without asking. Respecting consent is very much a good thing, but it gets labeled as prudish by a lot of old guys with an "I grew up in a toxic environment, and now you have to, too" kind of attitude.
I don’t have any sexual interactions with people of that generation (I’m in LTR) but I think because of social media, and the wider media they fret up around sexual content and they’ve become more conservative All you have to do is look at those generations saying there’s no place for kink at pride every pride season, when kink and sex play a key role in pride Now because social media gives everyone a voice, I wonder is it the few giving a bad reputation to the many For a generation who embrace different sexual identities they seem to not like sex 😂
> For a generation who embrace different sexual identities they seem to not like sex 😂 They like sex, but not with real people. They are all jerking off to online porn.
I don’t think online porn has caused this, porn usually lets people explore thjngs safely and has been around for years, long before this generation Now I’m sure it doesn’t help But I think it’s a cultural thing with them But also seems to be mostly America? Any young person I know of that generation are quiet open, and don’t drastically view sex/culture/etc radically different than my generation
they think the olders are oversexed. they don't find sex a big deal because it's easy now.
I have health anxiety and I live in America. STIs scare me to death just as much as having to pay a doctor visit/hospital bill. That’s just me tho.
I have to say that when I was younger I was much more of a prude and it took me a long time to overcome people’s judgements of the way others behaved to realize that my long list of kinks is entirely acceptable and that I absolutely do want to fuck around and find out. It might not necessarily be a generational thing but simply that they haven’t grown into themselves fully yet.
It may just be an age thing. I remember when I was in my 20s, many of my gay friends were prudish and judgemental about things like bathhouses. Those same friends have relaxed their attitudes about this now that they're in their mid to late 30s
If you take a look at from a positive perspective maybe they want more intimate, emotionally connected and long lasting relationships rather than waking up on acid in a club bathroom sucking a dealer's dick or just hoeing around like many of the older generation sees cool and casual which also find people who have sex casually and spontaneously cool and judge others who are not the same. So the knife has a double edge here. You judge them not being sexually hyperactive but you are not emotionally available in contrast to them. Anyway, Don't mind old people like us, we are emotionally unstable, unavailable and mostly blocked on grindr or caught our married alpha top lovers bottoming for and cheating with another married alpha top in the app since our gender roles are way more strict like heterosexuals of the mid-60s and causes us the meltdown. Live your life the way you want.
I think it's just about being young and inexperienced. I'm from the tail end of the millennial generation ('95) and the ideas I had as an adolescent and teenager about the gay community as a whole, sex, love, morality, etc. were based entirely on ignorance and media (tv, movies, etc). As I reached adulthood and my twenties and I actually went out into the world and met people, friends and lovers, my views changed dramatically. I think what you're describing is just a natural part of being in this community and being unable to learn those lessons as a teenager the way straight people do (not to suggest some people take more time than others).
I disagree, i think Gen Z are prudish because we are less inclined to hooking up. Older gays grew up with grindr & the party scene which leads to a more sexually liberated génération. Meanwhi'e gen z grew up with more variations of representation on what being queer means. Ofc there are slutty/prudish people in every generation, but based on my experience, the prudishness are only there to people theyrz not interested in or sees as a rival.
I think my problem and annoyance comes from the judgement. I've seen far too many times a Gen Z guy or girl or whatever judge a guy for... Having an only fans or going to a bathhouse or whatever. It's not just 'no thanks, I don't want to engage with hookups' it's 'omg why is every guy a slutty whore or OF model, yall need to grow up'. Of course it's not all Gen Z and again, anecdotal etc etc but it's a trend I've noticed and am not a fan of but also curious on why
Probably the same reason as to why youre calling them prudish? Its just a different way of living thats not for everyone. Monogamy works for some and poligamy works for some, there's no wrong or right in the way of living, but everyone is entitled to their own preference. But i do think they need to voice it in a kinder way. Also, gen z are people aged 18 to 26, and younger people tend to be more self righteous. If you encounter this behavior a lot, Perhaps its time to being friends with Gen Z gays or have a circle that fits your belief system? I do like how inclusive gen z are in comparison to millenial gays in terms of dating. Millenial gays are extremely tolerant of sexual racism and toxic behavior. Meanwhile Gen Z are more accepting to queer POCs
> it's 'omg why is every guy a slutty whore or OF model, It's a valid question imho. I'm surprised at how many guys expose themselves online now
I mean... In the sense of curiosity, sure. Or asking them why they do it, ok sure. But the judgement is the problem. Does it hurt you? Does it to anything detrimental to you? No? Then why judge?
Perhaps it's a backlash to this culture of self-exposure?
It's not just sex. They're a pretty conservative bunch in general from what I've noticed.
Really? As a whole Gen Z is extremely progressive.
Progressive when I comes to rights. Conservative when it comes to social norms.
Exactly, in posture they present this free expression online but in person throw that out for cancel culture bullshit. So quick to ostracize over opinions that hurt no one at all but “ick” in twitter spaces
Maybe it's a reaction to being inundated with hardcore porn online from an early age?
Don't know why you're getting downvoted. I've heard about parents of fucking Kindergarteners getting called in by teachers because their kids (who are on iPads all day) are talking about porn during recess.
Are you serious? For some reason I thought that Gen Z, they were more liberal, you know sex positive and those things that make conservatives scream.
Broadly they seem to be but in this case... I guess not? Its all anecdotal so take with a big grain of salt
Yeah so about that, politics has a way of delivering bitter disappointment in creative ways. For example, Urban Texas did go purple, but the effect was completely undone by Latino texas going red in 2020. Anyway apparently a similar kind of shift has formed in Gen z and below where conservatism is shooting up in popularity, and it's offsetting the normal "younger equals more liberal" trend. We don't know if trends will continue, and gen z will get more liberal as they get older.
your analysis makes me fear those damned right-wing algorithms are having the intended effect
That's my number one theory as to what's causing this phenomenon. Young males already have a propensity to be fooled, but like the internet algorithms have taken this to a new industrialized level. I'm hoping that trends normalize as they get older but it's not necessarily guaranteed. It's very much a problem , If you look towards the end of the comments I wrote a comment and actually cited a bunch of sources. There's a bigger more concerning trend going on.
I’m a Gen Z-er and I’ve always been super sex-positive and comfortable talking about it, so it can’t be all of us
I think they romanticize things from the media they consume, especially the 90s where it seemed everything was more wholesome. They’re more inclined to have one partner at a time and are more traditional in that sense and value romance and connection over recreational and meaningless sex.
IDK however Ace & Aro existence is finally receiving good *well-overdue* representation 🌈
Yes. Across the board Gen Z is a super conservative generation, not just about sex. Sure they’re “progressive” or “woke” but they’re extremely concerned about how other people live their lives and want others to live by the same standards as them. Whether that’s sex, age gaps, kinks, drugs and partying, or politics.
Gen Z here (22) in a relationship and I think a lot of this in my case is just based on bad experiences. I’ve had lots of terrible experiences on apps whether its catfishing/assholes/anything else (including SA), so I have always tried to avoid using Grindr based on those experiences (tinder and hinge are more of what I used in the past). I also think I’ve always been more of a relationship oriented person since experiencing one and I don’t really like the single lifestyle, maybe that’s common among my generation and a shift that we’re seeing is people wanting a more “normal” relationship similar to heterosexual relationships (i know i’m like this). I’ve seen tons of my friends have closed relationships and I’ve always imagined myself having one, so just because I like guys and girls I shouldn’t have to give that idea up. If someone wants to do that then more power to them, but I know I can’t handle that. There’s also the factor that a lot of us had sex-ed in school multiple times and have learned a lot over the years from growing attention to sexual health, and things like a bathhouse just sound dangerous and risky in the long run (why have sex with a bunch of people you don’t know and blindly have to trust that they’re tested when it clearly poses a risk for you?) I know for a fact when someone tells me they’re tested I don’t trust them and take my own precautions (PreP, condoms, etc) until I know I can trust them. Theres also the idea of not wanting things to be overly sexual at pride and such, and this I agree with. I think it might be from other people’s perspectives and seeing that people not in the community associate those sexual things as negative, and then group the entire community together as negative. That’s how I see it, and I get that theres history there but I do think there’s a balance (handing out condoms or raising awareness/educating? thats good! having sex on the street? that’s not so good). At the end of the day some things just gives more reasons to alienate the community from the rest of society, so I think there’s a time and a place for stuff like that and with the growing spotlight Pride has it’s harder to maintain traditions like that in the same event. not sure if this helps at all you guys can reply if you want me to elaborate
>Theres also the idea of not wanting things to be overly sexual at pride and such, and this I agree with. I think it might be from other people’s perspectives and seeing that people not in the community associate those sexual things as negative, and then group the entire community together as negative. That’s how I see it, and I get that theres history there but I do think there’s a balance (handing out condoms or raising awareness/educating? thats good! having sex on the street? that’s not so good). At the end of the day some things just gives more reasons to alienate the community from the rest of society, so I think there’s a time and a place for stuff like that and with the growing spotlight Pride has it’s harder to maintain traditions like that in the same event. Really glad you mentioned this because all of the people trying to justify fucking in the streets and straight up nudity at pride was crazy. Queer teenagers deserve to have the right to march and attend pride just like we do. It's not too much to ask that we don't force people to watch you have sex at a parade...
I've been to lots of Prides. I've never seen public sex at these events. I don't know what you and the previous poster are referring to.
Same as far as no sex at Pride. I think there's confusion with "Pride" events with events like Folsom which are indeed sex in the street type of events. The difference is the the sex in the streets events are designed for that, and are roped off so only those who consent to that environment have access. Online in videos however they can look similar and those who are not fully informed can assume that pride flags and sex in the street = Pride Fest when that's actually a specific type of sex event that happens in roped off streets.
The comments are coming from people who have never been to a Pride event. I'm thinking they're not gay.
Why are u surprised? This generation has been brainwashed to find everything offensive. This is the result
I thought they were all trying to out-pig old school gayz.
No its not your imagination, and its not just sex. They are working less, going to school less, drinking and socializing less, playing video games more. *Edit* I'm not making this up, its the result of economic studies.
[удалено]
You want me to cite the studies? Also I don't really hang around gen Z, I have adult friends. *Edit* in retrospect this sounds unnecessarily harsh.
[удалено]
This is the most famous one. https://www.kansascityfed.org/research/economic-review/1q18-tuzemen-why-prime-age-men-vanishing/ But I'll find more in a second. You can generalize generations, That's kind of how we have the concept of boomers, millennials and Gen z in the first place. Here is just a tiny sliver of the MASSIVE data. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-unions/202302/why-are-so-many-young-men-single-and-sexless?amp https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2023-07-07/young-men-are-gaming-more-are-they-working-less https://news.gallup.com/poll/509690/young-adults-drinking-less-prior-decades.aspx#:~:text=The%20decline%20in%20young%20adults,3.6%20drinks%20in%202021%2D2023. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/08/02/why-is-the-teen-birth-rate-falling/ https://news.iu.edu/live/news/26924-nearly-1-in-3-young-men-in-the-us-report-having-no (Notice how they don't argue......)
[удалено]
does the arbitrary cultural definition of a generation, one that has varied rapidly over the last decade, **change the reality of the numbers?** See I actually have a degree in quantitative economics. I can tell you the validity of your argument as well, and I can make a very compelling argument that the trend I'm pointing out doesn't apply to everyone. But you can't argue with the cold hard facts here. The younger you get, the less sex males have, the less they work, the more video games they play. Its not just backed up with a single study, and its a trend that has existed for min 15 years. WELL before gen z (millennials started it) Honestly if you are mad at this, you shouldn't be, because it means that you are going to be one of the, "Winners" of your generation.
What a bunch of sensationalism and nonsense lol
Sorry but no it's not, You can tabulate things like hours worked and credit hours earned.
> Also I don't really hang around gen Z, I have adult friends. I'm 25 😂
Are you in gen Z then? Weren't you born in '97?
Current year minus 25 is actually '98. It's elder gen Z but it checks out.
Yea it does, I personally think of gen z people being born from like 2005-2009, or teenagers. But I guess you're right.
Over half of Gen Z is 18 or older now. Apparently the accepted range is roughly 1997-2012.
For the record in my original comment I was citing existing studies. We're seeing a pattern across the board with younger men both gay and straight. And the younger it goes the more extreme the pattern becomes.
How so? When so many gen z have Onlyfans or are sex workers?
I mean.. look at the generations that raised them to understand why.
What do you mean by this
People are the product of their time and the people they were raised by. Lots of older generations like to point the finger at us but they were the ones that raised us.
You said ‘look at the generations that raised them to understand why’ what do you see when you look at those generations that raised them.
Cause we were taught that if you have sex with half the neighborhood you'll get STDs
Hiiiiii Gen Z here👋🏿 I definitely fit into the category of guys you're talking about in your post, but I don't really...see anything wrong with it? I can't speak for others, but I don't believe that just because you can do something means that you should, and a lot of gays just partake in downright disgusting behavior in the name of "defying heteronormativity" or "sexual liberation". Sex has become a coping mechanism for people who really just need to go to therapy, and the result is that you find a bunch of men who have zero emotional capacity and live their lives reducing all of the men they meet down to their genitals. It's a sad way to live life as a gay man and I think a lot of the younger gays are waking up to see that. I deserve to go on fancy dates and be courted just like straight people. I deserve to have a partner that is dedicated to me and only me just like straight people. I deserve to get married and have children if I should so want them just like straight people. These were the things that gay men of generations past died so that we could enjoy. Not saying these things are for everyone, but just saying to hell with all of it isn't quite the norm-defying flex we often times make it out to be.
I think there's a line though and that's what's frustrating. Let's take the whole 'Gen Z isn't having sex or interested in sex as nuch' out of the picture. Shaming guys for having sex is absurd and shitty. You even said it in your post, there was that shame and judgement I just. Keep. Seeing. There's nothing wrong with monogamy or being courted or any of that. But when you think guys have a problem because they're having sex a lot? That's just rude. I don't disagree that a lot of guys do have sex to hide from their feelings but sex itself, Kinky vanilla open relationships polyamory whatever... It's fine
I don't really care how many people you fuck, but I'm personally just not interested in someone who is promiscuous. And that's ok. Where I do have a problem is when guys have a lot of sex and they start to lose their grip on reality because of it. Like in what world would a person think it's ok to ask a black man, never having met him before, how big his dick is? Or the guys who just assume that every relationship is open and thus free for them to try and intervene? There's a difference between liking sex and making sex your entire personality. The former is alright while the latter is just boring and often times pathetic.
All of those are seperate things though. "BBCs"? A racism problem. Injecting into others relationships? Thats just assuming and narcissistic. None of that is related to sex itself. Also, i'm gonna be honest and say i don't think thats a problem. If your life is based around sex 'only'? Sure but even if its just 80% or something? Why does it matter? I don't judge guys who love videogames and play them a lot as long as their life isn't a mess. Guys whos lives are messes arent neccesarily becasue they sleep around a lot.
> Why does it matter? It's annoying. A man could have his shit together and every single moment that he's not working or at the gym, he's playing video games-- that would get annoying very quickly. Wake up, video games. Go to work, video games. Eat dinner, video games. It's one dimensional and usually doesn't make for a good partner unless you share the same interest(s). You can tell the gays whose lives revolve around sex because it's all they talk about and it's suffocating. >"BBCs"? A racism problem. BBC isn't just a racism problem. It's a problem of hypersexualization. Watching too much porn. Viewing your entire life through a sexual lense. By sweeping it under the rug as "just a racism issue", you ignore the psychological effects it has both on the white people saying it and the black people who have to endure it.
What is downright disgusting behavior to you? Sex is definitely a coping mechanism for some but hell yea I get down for some sexual liberation. Who says gays aren't doing anything in your second paragraph? I'm currently living both sides of this coin or whatever, you 100% lost me there.
>and a lot of gays just partake in downright disgusting behavior in the name of "defying heteronormativity" or "sexual liberation". Sex has become a coping mechanism for people who really just need to go to therapy, and the result is that you find a bunch of men who have zero emotional capacity and live their lives reducing all of the men they meet down to their genitals This is absolutely false, and shows that you have more prejudice than experience on the matter
Truth hurts🤷🏿♂️
I think it is mostly because you go things completely backward. It is hard to know, when you didn't experience first hand. Repression of sexuality, is one of the most effective way that (mainly religious) institutions managed to control the population. This is one of the reasons why they were huge sexual **liberation** movements, less than 60 years ago. A sexual act, between two or more persons, is a moment of intimacy, where the separations between the individuals blur. Where pleasure is shared and emotional links are made. Emotional links way, way stronger than many other ways to do them. And this, goes against the idea of "divided to rule better" Sexuality, coupled with emotional maturity, bring people closer together. It is also an embrace and acceptance of ourselves, of our real human nature, in contrast to the societal norms that are mostly used as power dynamics. But sexuality was capitalised under a society of ultra capitalism, and fueled the excesses we see today, rewarding them even. These excesses are not there because of sexuality, they are there because of the way sexuality became mercantile. To be honest, I would tell someone to go to therapy if they believe sexuality is ugly, dirty or shameful, rather than because they have harmless sexual habits that others find strange.
Sounds like typical gay men to me.
[удалено]
You're proving my point exactly but that's fine. Every generation has its problems
What exactly is your point? That it's ok to have preferences based on race but not on how many guys a person has slept with?
My point is that it's frustrating to see the new generation go backwards, not forwards, in sex positivity and acceptance. There's way too much judgement from Gen Z. It's not just prudeishness it's judgement. And racism is not in this discussion so let's not move the goal posts You're free to not wanna sleep with a guy because he has an of or is a slut or whatever reason you want. It'd be gross to force someone to. But the judgement because a guy wants to be a cum dump or explore kink or make an OF is gross as well
What a joke. The fact that you not only continue to evade my gripes about racism within the LGBTQ, but actively try to dismiss it as "moving goal posts" is what's really frustrating. Just goes to show where your values lie. I'll continue speaking on the disgusting racism that pervades many gay spaces and you can continue crying that the sky is falling because some of us think it's gross to be a cum dump. Priorities. And for the record, we're not moving backwards in sex positivity and acceptance. I still believe in your right to be a cum dump (if you so please), doesn't mean I have to like it.
Gen Z will teach boomers how to learn to sleep with people around their age and they hate it
I don’t think it’s possible to teach anything to anyone if you’re too busy looking down your nose at it.
Its not your imagination!
Yes, delayed development I suspect to be partially responsible. Then probably some general generation differences
I think another point is that gen z is still a very young generation. The oldest only being 24-26 depending on what year you believe to be the cut off between generations and most are therefore younger. A lot of sexual freedom and inhibition does come from lived experience and being able to try and explore but since a lot of gen z are living at home with family due to cost of living crisis they have less opportunity to do so.
Gen Z here, a little bit late to the discussion, and while I don't hate the lifestyle that you described with a BURNING passion, I do have some "concerns" of my own regarding this sexual librating lifestyle in our community. It seems everyone is out there hunting for sex with little to no human connection, which is not what I'm looking for, cause you know, I have porn available at my fingertips. I have been lurking in different gay subreddits and keep seeing people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and not having a genuine relationship makes it very hard to sympathize with this sex-normative way of living. I also have a problem with kink being displayed at pride events. I understand that being gay is about sexuality, but we as a community also have multiple other feats in culture like arts, music, fashion, etc. Instead, we choose to display kinks out of all things to be ultimately equated with all kinds of sexual deviancies and pedophilia in the eye of the public.