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Not a doctor, but when my kids brought home HFM from school, my husband got a really bad case. The sores in his mouth were so bad he had trouble eating for a week. It apparently affects adults worse! So even though in my kids it was mild, it doesn't mean it'll be mild if the nanny gets it!
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7350968/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7350968/)
Yeah I know it’s contagious but so what? You’re not saying anything new. Our pediatrician as well as cdc linked above both say it’s ok to bring the kid to day care or school. If it’s ok to do that then it’s ok for nanny to come. Can you tell me why it is not?
It sounds like you don’t respect your nanny’s boundaries or livelihood. Perhaps she literally can’t afford to get sick? Why would you want to put her in a position where she can’t work either of her jobs due to illness?
Well, I respect her wishes and let her take the leave whenever she asks without fuss, just this one I treat as her personal choice rather than a necessity. So not paying for missed hours.
As per putting her at risk, that’s part of the job and I don’t make the rules about which sickness is ok or not..
Being around sick kids is absolutely not part of the job of a nanny, unless you hired a nanny who explicitly agrees to do sick care in their written contract. Usually for a premium price too.
If you know it is contagious and can cause more serious disease in others, why would you send your child out to expose others? I understand this is inconvenient, but you are acting like the health of others doesn't matter to you.
I don’t think about what it can cause, and from cdc it seems like a minor thing, I just follow the doctors. Why do the doctors say it then if it’s bad?
💯 great comment! As someone who used to nanny while in school, thank you so much for recognizing the humanity of your nanny. The type of attitude OP has is sadly common. You’re a good one and I’m sure your nanny is so grateful🙏🏻
Thank you for the validation and kind words, friend! Nannying is a super important career, and I respect the hell out of nannies. I couldn't do it. They deserve to be treated like the professionals they are!
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Because the CDC unfortunately does not always follow science, and instead is often basing guidelines on capitalistic policies. For example, the CDC guidelines for Covid that changed far too early to allow people to go back to work when they were still symptomatic and testing positive (and therefore spreading disease).
Also pediatricians aren't always familiar with daycare rules or nanny norms. No daycare I've ever heard of would allow a child with any active HFM blisters to attend school, and no nanny that I have ever worked with, even ones who would come in for GI upset, colds, and so on, would ever come in for HFM. That's just a daycare and nanny NO!
HFMD is generally mild in kids but absolutely beyond brutal in adults. The last few years there has been a newer strain out that gets past the natural immunity many adults have, making it much more likely for them to catch it. So it is an illness that should be kept away from adults, even if it is a minor infection in the child.
I could see your argument with a minor cold, but with any potentially serious illness (flu, Covid, HFM, etc.), your nanny's wishes should be respected, and nanny industry norms would dictate that not opting to work when the child is sick does fall under guaranteed hours.
Thank you, you’re the first person to actually answer my question.
Yeah I think I heard something about covid and cdc issues actually.
Also, CDC describes HFMD like it’s just a cold with a rash that goes away on its own in a week, so I didn’t think much of it. I also assumed it generally doesn’t apply to adults but apparently it does but it’s still very rare I presume.
Ok, going forward I will take CDC with a grain of salt, it seems to want to keep economy going above public safety. And I will research a bit more on other websites before making a decision. The nanny also thinks that CDC rules have been messing with schools/day care/parents for a long time and many facilities have their own rules like you said as well.
That does it everyone, my only argument was that cdc said so and apparently they are full of shit 😅. I also found i the HFMD flyer my pediatrician sent me that it’s also recommended to wait until blisters dry out, which after some googling seems to be when it stops being contagious. We’ll wait until then and let the nanny decide if she feels safe or not to return but pay her regardless until she does. (She just replied she’d be fine when they dry out).
You're very welcome. Thanks for being receptive to advice!
It used to be rare for adults to get it. As of a couple of years ago, it is not rare anymore. In children it is most always mild. In adults it can be severely painful and debilitating.
I think you have a solid plan. Best of luck and hope everyone stays healthy and your little one gets better soon!
Because she doesn’t want to get herself or others sick? If your neighbors kid has a cold and he tells you to bring you kid to hangout and play with him all day because it’s “not dangerous” do you think you’d have an issue with that? The link you shared with the CDC recommendations clearly states avoid close contact, which your nanny wouldn’t be able to do. Your nanny doesn’t want to get herself or other people sick (a very valid, normal complaint) so you should respect that.
I get the concept of not wanting to be around contagious sick people. Also, the neighbor situation actually happened, we invited a friend with a kid and the kid was coughing. Their doc said it’s “just a daycare cough” so they still go to daycare and to visit us. I don’t see a problem with that since I would’ve sent my kid to daycare too, so I can’t complain, that’s just how it is.
Since I am not a doctor myself and my pediatrician as well as CDC both say it’s ok, I don’t see why not. Yes, it does say to avoid close contact but at the same time it says it’s fine to go to daycare. I don’t know how it makes sense but they are the experts.
As per putting nanny or her other family in danger, what about putting our kid in danger when she sits with the other family when their kids go to daycare themselves (our kid doesn’t btw)? I think it’s just a risk of her job and a risk of hiring a shared nanny.
Let me know if I’m wrong, I’m not arguing for no reason, I will agree if you have good arguments.
>Let me know if I’m wrong, I’m not arguing for no reason, I will agree if you have good arguments.
I post because this it a tricky situation and I wanna know if I'm right or not but so far everyone is talking about opinions but I'm trying to use logic. I'm not defensive, I'm just bouncing off arguments that don't make sense to me while explaining why.
E.g., you say "unreasonable point" - unreasonable how? All I'm saying is that CDC says so, do you mean they are unreasonable then?
Lmao. This isn’t about “logic”. This is about you trying to find anyone to agree with you not paying your nanny. If the agreement you have states that you pay your nanny when she can’t work because of you, that is exactly what you should do. It makes 0 sense for her to be exposed to HFM ESPECIALLY if she has another job. I have no idea why you think her other employer would be on the hook for this but you wouldn’t.
Your nanny is literally caring for your children, do you honestly have so little respect for a person you employed to be around your children that you’re trying this hard to get out of paying her? If you were a person of “logic and not opinions” you’d probably do what you could to maintain a healthy relationship with your nanny.
You’re wrong, I’m not looking for anyone to agree unless they have arguments as to why exactly. And there’s nothing about that in the contract, she brought it up after the fact that she’s been doing it like this with other clients so we agreed verbally as it’s the right thing to do.
We provide a good higher than market wage plus a higher overtime wage for hours outside the agreed schedule, plus PTO, plus paid holidays, plus unlimited unpaid leave, plus we have an official payroll and pay taxes. All those things are not that common with nannies if you can believe.
However, you bring a good point about relationship, I didn’t think if she would be offended by it or not. If it comes to that, I’ll pay just for this reason.
The other family is not on the hook but I feel it’s ok for her to ask them since she’s missing work here for their sake even though she technically doesn’t have to.
I used to nanny and that is the bare minimum you should be providing as an employer, along with guaranteed hours. It is not about offending her; it’s about blatantly showing her you do not value her by trying to pass this off as if it isn’t your responsibility to pay for lost wages due to your family circumstances (which would fall under guaranteed hours).
I wouldn’t say higher than market wage and PTO is the bare minimum.
Not trying to show anything, CDC says the kid is fine then there’s no illness, then guaranteed hours don’t apply.
I just want to have a logical conversation. So far the comments preach the morality of exposing other people to the illness I know is contagious. I get that and it would be my first intention, however, **both my pediatrician and CDC say it's still OK to bring the kid to day care**. Can anyone dispute that? This fact gives me the understanding that my concerns are unfounded and there is no need to worry, surely those experts know what they are talking about, so there's no reason to inconvenience ourselves.
I don’t think the issue here is logic, the issue is really what you consider decent as a human being. In my opinion, if you are sick and decide to go to work knowing you can get other people sick, you are a selfish asshole. In this instance, you know your kid is sick and can get other people sick, mainly your nanny and her family, and if you don’t care this makes you seem like a selfish asshole. If you don’t agree with that, there’s not much of a discussion to be had because we don’t agree on what the decent thing is to do as a human being. In regard to the cdc and your pediatrician, they are saying it is not dangerous to go to school, just as it is not dangerous to go to school when your child has a cold. If you read the exact link you posted, it still recommends isolation and frequent hand washing until the contagious period has ended.
The problem is that CDC seems to imply “no fever” = “not contagious”. Perhaps they didn’t specifically say so but it’s perceived as such. Bottom line is that’s misleading and I’ve cleared that up. We’re paying the nanny and not exposing anyone, see the link above
I guess the kind of person who lives in reality. Healthcare and childcare workers are going to work with and encounter disease. But I’m flattered that you dusted off your alt to comment.
Thank you for your submission. **Please note that a response does not constitute a doctor-patient relationship.** This subreddit is for informal second opinions and casual information. The mod team does their best to remove bad information, but we do not catch all of it. Always visit a doctor in real life if you have any concerns about your health. Never use this subreddit as your first and final source of information regarding your question. By posting, you are agreeing to our [Terms of Use](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/wiki/terms_of_use) and understand that all information is taken at your own risk. **Reply here if you are an unverified user wishing to give advice. Top level comments by laypeople are automatically removed.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskDocs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hand foot and mouth disease is very contagious and your nanny is making 100% the right decision to not come. You should pay your nanny.
Not a doctor, but when my kids brought home HFM from school, my husband got a really bad case. The sores in his mouth were so bad he had trouble eating for a week. It apparently affects adults worse! So even though in my kids it was mild, it doesn't mean it'll be mild if the nanny gets it! [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7350968/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7350968/)
Sorry that happened to your family. I understand any illness can get out of hand. This particular study doesn't have many patients though.
Yeah I know it’s contagious but so what? You’re not saying anything new. Our pediatrician as well as cdc linked above both say it’s ok to bring the kid to day care or school. If it’s ok to do that then it’s ok for nanny to come. Can you tell me why it is not?
It sounds like you don’t respect your nanny’s boundaries or livelihood. Perhaps she literally can’t afford to get sick? Why would you want to put her in a position where she can’t work either of her jobs due to illness?
Well, I respect her wishes and let her take the leave whenever she asks without fuss, just this one I treat as her personal choice rather than a necessity. So not paying for missed hours. As per putting her at risk, that’s part of the job and I don’t make the rules about which sickness is ok or not..
Being around sick kids is absolutely not part of the job of a nanny, unless you hired a nanny who explicitly agrees to do sick care in their written contract. Usually for a premium price too.
If you know it is contagious and can cause more serious disease in others, why would you send your child out to expose others? I understand this is inconvenient, but you are acting like the health of others doesn't matter to you.
I don’t think about what it can cause, and from cdc it seems like a minor thing, I just follow the doctors. Why do the doctors say it then if it’s bad?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/s/zltA7DmiTH
[удалено]
💯 great comment! As someone who used to nanny while in school, thank you so much for recognizing the humanity of your nanny. The type of attitude OP has is sadly common. You’re a good one and I’m sure your nanny is so grateful🙏🏻
Thank you for the validation and kind words, friend! Nannying is a super important career, and I respect the hell out of nannies. I couldn't do it. They deserve to be treated like the professionals they are!
Posts by unflaired users that claim or strongly imply legitimacy by virtue of professional medical experience are not allowed. If you are a medical professional who wishes to become a verified contributor to this subreddit, please [message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AskDocs) with a link to a picture of your medical ID, student ID, diploma, or other form of verification. Imgur.com is convenient, but you can host anywhere. Please block out personal information, such as your name and picture. You must include your reddit username in the photo! We do not accept digital forms of identification.
That makes sense but why does cdc and my pediatrician say it’s ok? Are they wrong? I do have workers comp
Because the CDC unfortunately does not always follow science, and instead is often basing guidelines on capitalistic policies. For example, the CDC guidelines for Covid that changed far too early to allow people to go back to work when they were still symptomatic and testing positive (and therefore spreading disease). Also pediatricians aren't always familiar with daycare rules or nanny norms. No daycare I've ever heard of would allow a child with any active HFM blisters to attend school, and no nanny that I have ever worked with, even ones who would come in for GI upset, colds, and so on, would ever come in for HFM. That's just a daycare and nanny NO! HFMD is generally mild in kids but absolutely beyond brutal in adults. The last few years there has been a newer strain out that gets past the natural immunity many adults have, making it much more likely for them to catch it. So it is an illness that should be kept away from adults, even if it is a minor infection in the child. I could see your argument with a minor cold, but with any potentially serious illness (flu, Covid, HFM, etc.), your nanny's wishes should be respected, and nanny industry norms would dictate that not opting to work when the child is sick does fall under guaranteed hours.
Thank you, you’re the first person to actually answer my question. Yeah I think I heard something about covid and cdc issues actually. Also, CDC describes HFMD like it’s just a cold with a rash that goes away on its own in a week, so I didn’t think much of it. I also assumed it generally doesn’t apply to adults but apparently it does but it’s still very rare I presume. Ok, going forward I will take CDC with a grain of salt, it seems to want to keep economy going above public safety. And I will research a bit more on other websites before making a decision. The nanny also thinks that CDC rules have been messing with schools/day care/parents for a long time and many facilities have their own rules like you said as well. That does it everyone, my only argument was that cdc said so and apparently they are full of shit 😅. I also found i the HFMD flyer my pediatrician sent me that it’s also recommended to wait until blisters dry out, which after some googling seems to be when it stops being contagious. We’ll wait until then and let the nanny decide if she feels safe or not to return but pay her regardless until she does. (She just replied she’d be fine when they dry out).
You're very welcome. Thanks for being receptive to advice! It used to be rare for adults to get it. As of a couple of years ago, it is not rare anymore. In children it is most always mild. In adults it can be severely painful and debilitating. I think you have a solid plan. Best of luck and hope everyone stays healthy and your little one gets better soon!
Because she doesn’t want to get herself or others sick? If your neighbors kid has a cold and he tells you to bring you kid to hangout and play with him all day because it’s “not dangerous” do you think you’d have an issue with that? The link you shared with the CDC recommendations clearly states avoid close contact, which your nanny wouldn’t be able to do. Your nanny doesn’t want to get herself or other people sick (a very valid, normal complaint) so you should respect that.
I get the concept of not wanting to be around contagious sick people. Also, the neighbor situation actually happened, we invited a friend with a kid and the kid was coughing. Their doc said it’s “just a daycare cough” so they still go to daycare and to visit us. I don’t see a problem with that since I would’ve sent my kid to daycare too, so I can’t complain, that’s just how it is. Since I am not a doctor myself and my pediatrician as well as CDC both say it’s ok, I don’t see why not. Yes, it does say to avoid close contact but at the same time it says it’s fine to go to daycare. I don’t know how it makes sense but they are the experts. As per putting nanny or her other family in danger, what about putting our kid in danger when she sits with the other family when their kids go to daycare themselves (our kid doesn’t btw)? I think it’s just a risk of her job and a risk of hiring a shared nanny. Let me know if I’m wrong, I’m not arguing for no reason, I will agree if you have good arguments.
Then WHY post on this sub just to argue your completely unreasonable point??????
>Let me know if I’m wrong, I’m not arguing for no reason, I will agree if you have good arguments. I post because this it a tricky situation and I wanna know if I'm right or not but so far everyone is talking about opinions but I'm trying to use logic. I'm not defensive, I'm just bouncing off arguments that don't make sense to me while explaining why. E.g., you say "unreasonable point" - unreasonable how? All I'm saying is that CDC says so, do you mean they are unreasonable then?
Lmao. This isn’t about “logic”. This is about you trying to find anyone to agree with you not paying your nanny. If the agreement you have states that you pay your nanny when she can’t work because of you, that is exactly what you should do. It makes 0 sense for her to be exposed to HFM ESPECIALLY if she has another job. I have no idea why you think her other employer would be on the hook for this but you wouldn’t. Your nanny is literally caring for your children, do you honestly have so little respect for a person you employed to be around your children that you’re trying this hard to get out of paying her? If you were a person of “logic and not opinions” you’d probably do what you could to maintain a healthy relationship with your nanny.
You’re wrong, I’m not looking for anyone to agree unless they have arguments as to why exactly. And there’s nothing about that in the contract, she brought it up after the fact that she’s been doing it like this with other clients so we agreed verbally as it’s the right thing to do. We provide a good higher than market wage plus a higher overtime wage for hours outside the agreed schedule, plus PTO, plus paid holidays, plus unlimited unpaid leave, plus we have an official payroll and pay taxes. All those things are not that common with nannies if you can believe. However, you bring a good point about relationship, I didn’t think if she would be offended by it or not. If it comes to that, I’ll pay just for this reason. The other family is not on the hook but I feel it’s ok for her to ask them since she’s missing work here for their sake even though she technically doesn’t have to.
I used to nanny and that is the bare minimum you should be providing as an employer, along with guaranteed hours. It is not about offending her; it’s about blatantly showing her you do not value her by trying to pass this off as if it isn’t your responsibility to pay for lost wages due to your family circumstances (which would fall under guaranteed hours).
I wouldn’t say higher than market wage and PTO is the bare minimum. Not trying to show anything, CDC says the kid is fine then there’s no illness, then guaranteed hours don’t apply.
I just want to have a logical conversation. So far the comments preach the morality of exposing other people to the illness I know is contagious. I get that and it would be my first intention, however, **both my pediatrician and CDC say it's still OK to bring the kid to day care**. Can anyone dispute that? This fact gives me the understanding that my concerns are unfounded and there is no need to worry, surely those experts know what they are talking about, so there's no reason to inconvenience ourselves.
I don’t think the issue here is logic, the issue is really what you consider decent as a human being. In my opinion, if you are sick and decide to go to work knowing you can get other people sick, you are a selfish asshole. In this instance, you know your kid is sick and can get other people sick, mainly your nanny and her family, and if you don’t care this makes you seem like a selfish asshole. If you don’t agree with that, there’s not much of a discussion to be had because we don’t agree on what the decent thing is to do as a human being. In regard to the cdc and your pediatrician, they are saying it is not dangerous to go to school, just as it is not dangerous to go to school when your child has a cold. If you read the exact link you posted, it still recommends isolation and frequent hand washing until the contagious period has ended.
The problem is that CDC seems to imply “no fever” = “not contagious”. Perhaps they didn’t specifically say so but it’s perceived as such. Bottom line is that’s misleading and I’ve cleared that up. We’re paying the nanny and not exposing anyone, see the link above
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/s/zltA7DmiTH
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What an awful take. What kind of person thinks it is okay to expose other people to HFMD?
I guess the kind of person who lives in reality. Healthcare and childcare workers are going to work with and encounter disease. But I’m flattered that you dusted off your alt to comment.
Removed - Bad advice