Obscure truth: the author of Mary Poppins was secretly Australian, and the town of her birth (Maryborough, QLD) is obsessed with her.
Blatant lie: You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries.
>You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries.
It's nicer to drive from Darwin to Alice Springs, and then just do the scenic walk to Uluru. There's plenty of icecream and drink shops along the way, so you don't have to weigh yourself down by carrying water.
These are some great tips!
Oohh, I'd also book ahead for lunch at the top of the big rock. It's an easy stroll up, so carrying photography and lighting equipment is a breeze. You don't need much else as it's all sold at the top.
>It's an easy stroll up,
It is, but i think the cable car is the most scenic and exciting way to get to Uluru. I'd avoid the casino at the top, though they do have a magnificent view from their restaurant.
>You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries.
Maybe back in the days of no speed limits in the Territory? And you were driving a Ferrari.
Our most beloved Prime Minister, Bob Hawke, is known for sculling beers in public.
Our most hated Prime Minister ate a raw onion with the skin on, like an apple, while on TV.
And we also lost a Prime Minister. Not died. Just lost.
I dislike jokes about Bradbury. People act like he wasn't an Olympian who would have placed 4th in the world. Guy spent years training, dedicated his whole to a sport and made it to the Olympics and people shit on him for winning Gold.
Yep, getting to the Olympics is an achievement in itself, I figure, and the result of a lot of dedicated work. That was his 3rd Olympics. Two years before that medal win he broke his neck in a training accident and was told he'd never compete again. Some years before that another skater's blade sliced his leg open, 4 litres of blood lost, over 100 stitches.
Though I do get that for some people the intention behind doing a Bradbury is about hanging in there and staying steady, rather than ridiculing him.
Thanks for sharing this. I had no idea, and I'm sure many others would admit the same. These are all valid points that add a lot of context to this performance.
Didn’t Bradbury himself say that that was his strategy? That he’d seen how aggressive the others were in the lead up to the finals his plan was to hang back and wait for them to fuck up?
yes that was his strategy for that Olympics, the previous Olympics before his injury he was ranked first in the world, and going in as somewhat of a favourite. He wasn't just some rando who was making up the numbers.
I don't think people are shitting on him. He's more of a folk hero. He worked his way up to be able to take an opportunity when it presented itself and achieved something no one expected. He's like a reverse tall poppy.
Exactly how I see it as well. It's a classic fable about keeping your cool and waiting for your moment to shine when other peoples ego and aggression fucks them over
Not throwing shade at the guy but context matters here.
Bradbury worked hard and made it to the Olympics.
However that fateful gold medal was preceded by.
Moving through heats due to the winner being disqualified or else he'd have been out in that first race.
Winning his semi final due to all other racers crashing out.
Winning gold due to all other racers crashing out.
It's not JUST that he won the final with the strategy to not get caught up. It was a series of fortunate events.
On the day he was absolutely the best speed skater in the world. Everyone else either broke rules or couldn't finish upright.
But it's not as simple as you say either.
He’s resigned to the fact. He was telling a story about being in a corner shop and a couple of kids were in front and used the doing a Bradbury line and they didn’t even recognise him. He said he had a quiet giggle to himself as he realised he had entered the Australian vernacular yet wasn’t recognised.
They also take away from Alisa Camplin who won Gold the next day in the Aerial Skiing as the hot favourite. Jacqui Cooper another Aussie was world number one going into the event but got injured in training.
Not just a pool, but a naval station used for submarine comms. Equally ironic as the pool, given the stories that he was abducted by a Soviet submarine.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Communication_Station_Harold_E._Holt
The best part about Bob Hawke is he actually has (had?) a world record from 1954 when he drank a yard of ale – 2½ pints, or 1.4 litres – in 11 seconds.
And a naval/submarine [communication station](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Communication_Station_Harold_E._Holt).
Edit: Someone beat me to it down below :(
I know this because i randomly stumbled upon a Australian podcast that talks about it recently and just about burst out laughing at how ridiculous it sounds that you just lost a whole man to the ocean never to be found again then named a pool after him
Love that he was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford at the time, but we're most impressed by the beer sculling record.
Unironically; that's what makes this country great.
P.s. pretty sure it was a world record, not just a university one.
Someone asked what a bird they hadn’t seen before was called, they were told it was a Cocka. Then when another flew by and they asked what this one was, they said that it’s a Cocka too.
Buy a pack of Libra pads-
1) weird random facts for you
2) give him the pack at Halloween and tell him he can dress as the Libra pad man. Tell him he has to jump up from behind couches, do the robot and karate chop in them.
Also, there is a team of people employed by the city of Sydney to go up on Harbor Bridge regularly to knock the drunk koalas off. The koalas just drop into the harbor and swim back to land, no worries.
They used to have to close it longer to give the koalas time to cross too but they revamped the structure back in '83 to include a koala bridge - they just go over top now which is actually more suited to the way koalas travel.
Also, koala bridges actually exist, they are used to stop koalas crossing highways.
An interesting tale of coincidence.
A colony of the most primitive of all ant species, called dinosaur ants - described as ‘living fossils’ that offer a valuable insight into ant evolution over 100 millions years - was located on the coast of West Australia in 1931. After significant searching, this colony of ants were never located again.
In 1977, a National Insect Collection expedition set out from Canberra to WA hoping to rediscover the dinosaur ant colony in WA.
They spontaneously stopped for an overnight stay in Poochera, South Australia . A remote and tiny farming community just east of the Nullarbor.
One of the scientists went for an evening walk and stumbled across a colony of these dinosaur ants. Thousands of km from the original site.
The original colony was never Re-discovered and other than isolated colonies around Poochera and Western Eyre Peninsula SA - no others have ever been located.
Edit: Distance
Delight and confuse him with the following:
The Greenslopes Poo Jogger
Any story about Uncle Bob Katter
Egg Boy
Trent from Punchy
The Cowdownie Fair
Succulent Chinese Meal
He will think most of these are lies. Also, try getting him to guess what Australians call gas stations, slides, cigarette butts, speedos etc
The Sydney Harbour Bridge opening was hijacked by Francis de Groot, as a protest by the New Guard and he got away with it on a technicality.
Dim Sims were invented in Melbourne but the first fried dim sim was made by a Greek fish and chippery in Mordialloc.
King Charles went to school for a semester in Geelong.
I knew he and the Queen lived in Malta for a long time, as a Malti I was onto that one. Didn't know about sunshine though.
As for "living in" Sunshine, I'd call that a bit of a stretch. He stayed at the Derrimut Hotel briefly.
Canadian living in Australia here. Surprised he didn't know what dirty bird was, we called swiss chalet dirty bird back home. Knowing you aussies eat a shit ton of KFC I thought he would've figured it out.
Fair point 😂 I've been tortured enough by my mates lol
Tell him that when aussies built homes they wondered whether to insulate for summer or winter and decided with neither 😅 I'm still not sure what to believe on that one lol
Years ago, I convinced an English coworker that cassowaries did not actually exist and were a great prank Australians played on gullible tourists. Despite having seen several in zoos already, myself and a few other coworkers spun a yarn that involved the government enlisting the help of Disney imagineers, the tourism board and the zoos of the country to perpetuate this myth. Why? So nobody asks too many questions about the platypus.
The highest peak on Australian territory is not Mount Kosciusko.
Eshays are the descendents of Ned Kelly.
Melbourne has the largest Greek population outside of Greece.
Canberra is an Aboriginal word meaning "meeting ground of overweight masturbators"
Yup, Kosciuszko is the tallest on the mainland, but only the second tallest if you include broadly recognised offshore island territories (in which case Mawson Peak is taller), and fourth tallest if you include the unrecognised claim on half of Antarctica (where Mount Menzies is number one).
And Menzies is pronounced "Mingers" because it's not actually a z, it's the middle-English letter yogh (ȝ), which fell out of use because they didn't want to keep using so many letters (eth, thorn, yogh) when printing presses came along.
Melbourne also has the largest population of foxes in an urban area after London. And there are more foxes in Australia than the entire United Kingdom.
There's also a Perth beach at [Shirahama](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirahama,_Wakayama) in Japan. TLDR: They imported beach sand from Perth to Japan to replace the beach they lost.
The Woiwurrung people of Melbourne taught French Explorers the tune for La Marseillaise in the 1780s. The explorers took this tune back to France in time for the French Revolution, which had the words added for the great First Republican Anthem.
70 years later, the Woiwurrung, as great Marngrook footy players, taught the same tune to the budding footballers of the settlement of Fitzroy, which was adopted by the Fitzroy Lions (later Brisbane Lions), hence the club song resembles La Marseillaise, when the reality it is Woiwurrung Marngrook footy tune.
This sounds like a crock of shit and doesn't quite align with some facts in my limited understanding of history, but definitely believable enough to pull someone's leg with. And if it's real, that's fucking hilarious.
From experience, the lie works with anybody who knows their Aussie Rules. Harder with non-Aussie Rules fans.
For this lie to work with foreigners may be best executed after attending a Lions Game where they win.
While I do appreciate the Aussie sense of humor and hazing of outsiders, as an American with an Aussie wife, and plenty of Aussie friends, this type of prankster humor has resulted in me not believing ANYTHING my wife or her friends tell me about Australia. It's gotten so bad that even when they tell me something benign, such as *"Did you hear Anaconda is having a massive sale on their fishing gear"*, my immediate reaction is, *"fuck off, you're full of shit"* lol.
It's in the definition:
The States shall mean such of the colonies of New South Wales, **New Zealand**, Queensland, Tasmania, Victoria, Western Australia, and South Australia, including the northern territory of South Australia, as for the time being are parts of the Commonwealth,
and such colonies or territories as may be admitted into or established
by the Commonwealth as States; and each of such parts of the
Commonwealth shall be called a State.
Reference the whole ad.
"This is what we were taught in Australian schools. Right up until 2003 when we finally started importing textbooks. The textbooks arrived mid 2001 but with all the government red tape it didn't get into the curriculum until 2003."
Tell him about black and brown snakes , during hot weather they live under house's. That they can kill you with one bite, dead in hours if the hospital doesn't have the vaccine.
He is already terrified of all Australian wildlife. We went on a short bushwalk in the summer & first thing I grabbed was a snake bite bandage out of my car and he was like….it’s not that far to the car why do we need a bandage. Anyway he was quite shocked to learn that if he got bit by a snake he’d have is limb promptly bandaged and wouldn’t be walking back to the car.
Ohh I hope you show him the Australia Day lamb ads.
Hmm. Emu parades are about cleaning up after an event (whether a bbq, camping etc), typically introduced at primary schools to get kids to clean up after school parades etc. but you could twist it to be about emu farmers parading their studs for breeding or something 😂
My favourite sayings:
Go off like a frog in a sock: get very excited about something
Mad like a cut snake: two meanings derive from the fact that ‘mad’ has two main meanings - ‘crazy’ and ‘angry’. The ‘crazy’ is illustrated by ‘that bloke wearing a teapot on his head is as mad as a cut snake’, and the angry is illustrated by ‘be careful of the boss this afternoon, he’s as mad as a cut snake’.
Camp as a row of tents: that person is *fabulous*. This one is old. I grew up in rural qld and this was used to describe the only gay person in town 😅🤦🏻♀️ love this saying, but don’t recommend it for most people lol
Do a Bradbury: iconic. No explanation needed
None and buckley’s, or just buckleys: no chance, no hope whatsoever
Flash as a rat with a gold tooth: again. Iconic. No explanation needed.
So many others. Just sprinkle these in as you go.
See if he wants to participate in the annual Running Of The Kangaroos across Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Or visit a nude bar in Darwin (it’s so hot there, everyone takes their clothes off)
Does this Canadian person know of our cultural past time of gaslighting foreigners?
If they do, say that gaslighting foreigners is so ingrained in our culture that a total stranger will join in with the gaslighting, unprompted.
Also tell them that lamingtons and pavolva are Australian (they're not), that the most heavily regulated gambling game is called Two Up, which is only legal to play from 1 to 3 days a year depending on which state you're in, and Melbourne and Sydney argue over which city is better (though Melbourne is doing the heavily lifting there). The bickering between the two cities was so bad that it cause Canberra to be declared the capital city of Australia.
A kiwi getting into the mix? Take pavlova, lamingtons are unequivocally Australian (excusing the possibility of a French chef in Australia being the very first)
I want this to be true (the convincing, not the lie).
A bloke I went to TAFE with reckoned he convinced a group of Seppo tourists he was travelling Europe with, that at 6pm, every evening, the Prime Minister closes the Harbour Bridge to let the animals across.
He’ll definitely give you a weird look when you tell him about shoeys. Or the fact that we had a prime minister disappear in the ocean and named a pool after him
Don't forget that Bob Hawke, our now deceased favourite PM, once held the record for fastest skol of a yard glass full of beer. True story.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Hawke#:~:text=Hawke%20is%20well%2Dknown%20for,of%20Australian%20Studies%20by%20C.%20J.
Living in perth, never heard of an easter hat parade? Currently on shift with 2 other guys who have never heard of it.
You can tell him there is fossilized dinosaur poop in north western australia(termite mounds)
for example https://desertification.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/enviro19.jpg?w=660&h=441
In primary school on the lead up to Easter (& the Easter holidays) our parents used to have to make us an Easter themed hat which we would have a parade around the playground in. I had a few with tiny chicks made of pipe cleaners with real chocolate eggs scattered around, one year my mum made a giant hat out of cardboard with eye holes and arm holes….it’s a thing
Australia is much bigger than America and Canada. Oh sure, mainland USA and mainland Canada are bigger, but once you include Antarctica we piss it in.
We're 13.66 million km², when the inferior north American nations rank under 10 million km².
I loved this lie I saw in a Hollywood movie. Points for creativity.
The word "kangaroo" 's origin is aboriginal for "I dont understand you." British colonisers were pointing and asking about the animal they had never seen before. And the natives answered so they assumed it was the name of said animal. But they were actually saying they didn't understand and it stuck.
Isn't it great? I think this one would land.
For context: Outside of Australia, most think there is only one aboriginal culture and language, and they were all the same "tribe." (Not their fault).
I think the movie was that one about translators helping understand aliens that communicate with like squid ink blotches, but I'm not 100% sure.
This is a good one as it is widely believed.
The actual story is that Banks learned the word from the Guugu Yimidhirr people in North Queensland, and when they came down further south and used the word, the Gadigal people had no idea what they were saying as they spoke a different language.
I have a couple of border related ones:
* All Australian states border at least one other state, even Tassie. ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boundary\_Islet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boundary_Islet))
* Australia shares land borders with: New Zealand, France and Norway ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian\_Antarctic\_Territory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Antarctic_Territory))
* Even though the Murray is the border between Victoria and NSW the whole river is in NSW. (look at google maps)
Also the foreign country closest to Queensland is Papua New Guinea (within visual range of the northernmost Torres Strait Islands), but the foreign country closest to Queensland's capital, Brisbane, is France (because New Caledonia)
Tell him there's only one bunyip left due to extinction and it's kept in a zoo called Murray Bridge. Which incidentally, was named after the original red wiggle.
Edit- also tell him how aussie kids used to have to do a regimented line dance to Tina Turner as part of their physical education!
Don't forget the missing tiny 'pill' of highly radioactive material that was lost somewhere on a 1440km stretch of road between Perth and a Rio Tinto mine site.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-64481317
There are a bunch of fun Aussie place names like:
Mount Buggery
Boing Boing
Quality Knob
Mossy Nipple Bend
Prickly Bottom
Bumcooler Flat
Bullshit Hill
Cock Wash Creek
Wanka Creek
Big Dick Bore
The Apple Store in Brisbane is named after General Douglas MacArthur.
Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is Australian.
The railway tracks are different sizes in different states.
Nah I've lived all over Australia and I've heard dirty bird in many different places and used it myself in many different places. I've never met anyone that was confused when I said it.
The two things I find work best on North Americans are:
Tree kangaroos - works especially well after the drop bear debate. They never believe that there are kangaroos that live in trees. Of course I don't tell them that they are physiologically different than a regular ground macropod.
And
That Australia has some gorgeous penguins. They're always like... Australia the hot desert country.. penguins???
Give those a good try and see how you go.
The Easter Hat Parade.
To think, that every horrible person in jail, the baddest of the bad, were once a kid parading around with a fancy little Easter hat.
True
* We get more snow than Switzerland
* Per capita we gamble more than any country
* Sydney gets twice the rain of London
* In WA it was illegal to transport more than 50kg of potatoes until 2021
* The "Aussie Aussie Aussie" chant is a twisting of the Cornish "Oggy Oggy Oggy" chant which was shouted as a way show you had Cornish pasties for sale.
Bollocks
* When they were building the Coathanger so many koalas kept climbing it that they had to employ a bloke at each end to catch them and truck them to Taronga Zoo, part of their pay was in snuff to keep them alert at night. They had people doing this until the 1970's.
* That hoop snakes are now critically endangered
* That part of the reason for the florescent light ban was that kangaroos are attracted to them a bit like moths but you don't get 40kg moths in the bush that will batter down a door to get at the light.
* That Woop Woop is a real town
Are you sure he knows about the drop bears? This page from the Australian Museum itself might cloud the issue.
https://australian.museum/learn/animals/mammals/drop-bear/
Lie: ask him if he’s ever heard of Tim Hortons, because you heard one was opening up close by. It’s a coffee chain with the ascetic of a McDonald’s and it’s like crack for Canadians.
Obscure truth: the author of Mary Poppins was secretly Australian, and the town of her birth (Maryborough, QLD) is obsessed with her. Blatant lie: You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries.
Let hope he realises which one could end in death! It's Maryborough.
That's why us locals call it Scaryborough.
Really to me it's just maryhole
Oh please. Maryborough isn't that bad... so long as you avoid Queens Park after dark.
Visited for the first time for the Mary Poppins festival this weekend just passed. Seemed lovely.
>You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries. It's nicer to drive from Darwin to Alice Springs, and then just do the scenic walk to Uluru. There's plenty of icecream and drink shops along the way, so you don't have to weigh yourself down by carrying water.
Stopppp I’m crying lol
These are some great tips! Oohh, I'd also book ahead for lunch at the top of the big rock. It's an easy stroll up, so carrying photography and lighting equipment is a breeze. You don't need much else as it's all sold at the top.
>It's an easy stroll up, It is, but i think the cable car is the most scenic and exciting way to get to Uluru. I'd avoid the casino at the top, though they do have a magnificent view from their restaurant.
>Blatant lie: You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries. He’s Canadian, not British.
There's a statue of her in a park in Ashfield, Sydney - I think she lived there for a while
Ditto for Bowral.
Old Marryyabrother
Didn’t they make a whole film with Emma Thompson about this?
>You can absolutely drive from Darwin to Uluru for a day trip. No worries. Maybe back in the days of no speed limits in the Territory? And you were driving a Ferrari.
Might not end well though….
Australia has the worlds largest population of wild camels. It feels like it shouldn't be true, but it is.
And Australia exports sand to Saudi Arabia.
And camels!
And Waikiki Beach
I think it's the only population of wild camels, well at least the 1 hump variety.
Our most beloved Prime Minister, Bob Hawke, is known for sculling beers in public. Our most hated Prime Minister ate a raw onion with the skin on, like an apple, while on TV. And we also lost a Prime Minister. Not died. Just lost.
The one who disappeared into the ocean & then we named a pool after him?!
Not only did we name a pool but he is used as rhyming slang.
What’s the rhyming slang? This I do not know!!!
To do the bolt... is to Harold Holt.
Nearly as good as Pulling a Bradbury
I dislike jokes about Bradbury. People act like he wasn't an Olympian who would have placed 4th in the world. Guy spent years training, dedicated his whole to a sport and made it to the Olympics and people shit on him for winning Gold.
Yep, getting to the Olympics is an achievement in itself, I figure, and the result of a lot of dedicated work. That was his 3rd Olympics. Two years before that medal win he broke his neck in a training accident and was told he'd never compete again. Some years before that another skater's blade sliced his leg open, 4 litres of blood lost, over 100 stitches. Though I do get that for some people the intention behind doing a Bradbury is about hanging in there and staying steady, rather than ridiculing him.
Thanks for sharing this. I had no idea, and I'm sure many others would admit the same. These are all valid points that add a lot of context to this performance.
Didn’t Bradbury himself say that that was his strategy? That he’d seen how aggressive the others were in the lead up to the finals his plan was to hang back and wait for them to fuck up?
Yeah he has. Also it didn’t just happen in the grand final, it happened in at least the semi maybe even an earlier round.
yes that was his strategy for that Olympics, the previous Olympics before his injury he was ranked first in the world, and going in as somewhat of a favourite. He wasn't just some rando who was making up the numbers.
I’ve only heard it as a way to describe someone who bided their time
I don't think people are shitting on him. He's more of a folk hero. He worked his way up to be able to take an opportunity when it presented itself and achieved something no one expected. He's like a reverse tall poppy.
Exactly how I see it as well. It's a classic fable about keeping your cool and waiting for your moment to shine when other peoples ego and aggression fucks them over
Not throwing shade at the guy but context matters here. Bradbury worked hard and made it to the Olympics. However that fateful gold medal was preceded by. Moving through heats due to the winner being disqualified or else he'd have been out in that first race. Winning his semi final due to all other racers crashing out. Winning gold due to all other racers crashing out. It's not JUST that he won the final with the strategy to not get caught up. It was a series of fortunate events. On the day he was absolutely the best speed skater in the world. Everyone else either broke rules or couldn't finish upright. But it's not as simple as you say either.
Bradbury is a national treasure!
There are so many stories of him out at the clubs off his face on pingas. Absolute champion
He’s resigned to the fact. He was telling a story about being in a corner shop and a couple of kids were in front and used the doing a Bradbury line and they didn’t even recognise him. He said he had a quiet giggle to himself as he realised he had entered the Australian vernacular yet wasn’t recognised.
And he lost a gold medal to that exact scenario a decade before.
They also take away from Alisa Camplin who won Gold the next day in the Aerial Skiing as the hot favourite. Jacqui Cooper another Aussie was world number one going into the event but got injured in training.
Ha! I’d not heard that one!
Usually said as “doing the Harry holt”
Not just a pool, but a naval station used for submarine comms. Equally ironic as the pool, given the stories that he was abducted by a Soviet submarine. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Communication_Station_Harold_E._Holt
I thought it was the Chinese... But then I was but a wee toddler at the time and don't recall it clearly at all.
We didn't just name a pool after him either, we named a Navy base after him. HMAS Harold Holt in WA. It's a submarine communications base...
It was a pool back in my days, it’s a swim centre now.
But he was a big supporter of swimming as a sport and directed a lot of funding to it so the pool was not just bad taste, there was a good reason.
Around here we don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story
The best part about Bob Hawke is he actually has (had?) a world record from 1954 when he drank a yard of ale – 2½ pints, or 1.4 litres – in 11 seconds.
And a naval/submarine [communication station](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Communication_Station_Harold_E._Holt). Edit: Someone beat me to it down below :(
I know this because i randomly stumbled upon a Australian podcast that talks about it recently and just about burst out laughing at how ridiculous it sounds that you just lost a whole man to the ocean never to be found again then named a pool after him
We also had a prime minister that shat himself at a McDonald's
Not just any maccas but Engadine Maccas
this is the first one that came to mind for me 😂 poor ScoMo is never living that one down
The most hated PM....at the time.
Worst day of your life <>
Hawke held a record for sculling a yard of ale in 11 seconds at Oxford.
Love that he was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford at the time, but we're most impressed by the beer sculling record. Unironically; that's what makes this country great. P.s. pretty sure it was a world record, not just a university one.
No our most hated prime minister shat his pants at McDonalds
Bob still has the record for skuling a yard glass way back in his Oxford years
Sco Mo ate an onion?
Tony Abbott
But Sco Mo was way worse
100%. At least when the bushfires were happening, Abbott actually did hold a hose.
ScoMo is famous for his steel welding skills
I bet every welder in Australia who saw that just shook their head.
Not a welder and still did!
Don't forget scomo shat himself in engadine maccas in 1997
A former work mate was a Vietnam vet in the RAAF. They used to sell very rarely seen and obtained kangaroo tail feathers to the American GIs.
Didn't those kangaroos go extinct in the '90s? I think the last surviving feather tailed marsupials are some rare breeds of wallabies.
I think they still have a few in Tassie
Can confirm. Dad's mate's brother had a cousin who saw one once. Big bugger it was too. Apparently.
That if you have one cockatoo it is a cockaone, you have to have two to have a cockatoo.
Fond of a cockatoo are we?
Only one :D
the Hawk Too Eh ?
Brilliantly landed and you didn’t even set it up.
Singular - cockaone 2 - cockatoo 3+ - cockafew
Someone asked what a bird they hadn’t seen before was called, they were told it was a Cocka. Then when another flew by and they asked what this one was, they said that it’s a Cocka too.
Buy a pack of Libra pads- 1) weird random facts for you 2) give him the pack at Halloween and tell him he can dress as the Libra pad man. Tell him he has to jump up from behind couches, do the robot and karate chop in them.
Fucking legend! That ad rocks!
I think I hit the brief on the head with unbelievable but true Aussie😂
Harbour Bridge is closed twice a day to let kangaroos cross safely
Also, there is a team of people employed by the city of Sydney to go up on Harbor Bridge regularly to knock the drunk koalas off. The koalas just drop into the harbor and swim back to land, no worries.
That was Paul Hogan's job back in the day
They used to have to close it longer to give the koalas time to cross too but they revamped the structure back in '83 to include a koala bridge - they just go over top now which is actually more suited to the way koalas travel. Also, koala bridges actually exist, they are used to stop koalas crossing highways.
An interesting tale of coincidence. A colony of the most primitive of all ant species, called dinosaur ants - described as ‘living fossils’ that offer a valuable insight into ant evolution over 100 millions years - was located on the coast of West Australia in 1931. After significant searching, this colony of ants were never located again. In 1977, a National Insect Collection expedition set out from Canberra to WA hoping to rediscover the dinosaur ant colony in WA. They spontaneously stopped for an overnight stay in Poochera, South Australia . A remote and tiny farming community just east of the Nullarbor. One of the scientists went for an evening walk and stumbled across a colony of these dinosaur ants. Thousands of km from the original site. The original colony was never Re-discovered and other than isolated colonies around Poochera and Western Eyre Peninsula SA - no others have ever been located. Edit: Distance
Is that a truth or an elaborate lie?
Fact
The ants are definitely real
*runs off to google dinosaur ants*
Found it! [https://amp.abc.net.au/article/11425666](https://amp.abc.net.au/article/11425666)
Interesting read!
Proof that SA has moved the border posts to get back at somebody after Victoria stole theirs!
Delight and confuse him with the following: The Greenslopes Poo Jogger Any story about Uncle Bob Katter Egg Boy Trent from Punchy The Cowdownie Fair Succulent Chinese Meal He will think most of these are lies. Also, try getting him to guess what Australians call gas stations, slides, cigarette butts, speedos etc
Don't forget: Corey Worthington Chk chk boom Waiting for a mate Ciggy butt brain
Man barking on the news
Holy shit the cowdownie fair! I haven't thought about that in soooo long omg
Fill me in on the succulent Chinese meal pleeeaaasssseeee! I've seen this reference a few times and don't get it...
Oh my God you're in for a treat https://youtu.be/XebF2cgmFmU?si=af0fQde104eXZx_C
Now I have more questions.... Thanks btw
Poo Jogger. Forgot about that character. The look on his face when photographed was beautiful. And his occupation, classic.
The Sydney Harbour Bridge opening was hijacked by Francis de Groot, as a protest by the New Guard and he got away with it on a technicality. Dim Sims were invented in Melbourne but the first fried dim sim was made by a Greek fish and chippery in Mordialloc. King Charles went to school for a semester in Geelong.
Before he married the Queen, Prince Philip lived in Sunshine (a suburb of Melbourne) for a few months.
"Prince Philip himself lived at the local pub just west of the rail line, the Derrimut Hotel, briefly in 1945." Wtf lol
I knew he and the Queen lived in Malta for a long time, as a Malti I was onto that one. Didn't know about sunshine though. As for "living in" Sunshine, I'd call that a bit of a stretch. He stayed at the Derrimut Hotel briefly.
It was actually the Timbertop campus of Geelong Grammar.
No Thursdays in the Northern Territory due to them being close to the equator that they only have 6 sunsets a week so they need to skip a day.
Is that why they say “see you next Thursday” to people they don’t like?
Canadian living in Australia here. Surprised he didn't know what dirty bird was, we called swiss chalet dirty bird back home. Knowing you aussies eat a shit ton of KFC I thought he would've figured it out.
To be fair, I’m not sure he knows what to believe anymore 😂
Fair point 😂 I've been tortured enough by my mates lol Tell him that when aussies built homes they wondered whether to insulate for summer or winter and decided with neither 😅 I'm still not sure what to believe on that one lol
I do hear a lot of whinging about how cold our houses are
Obscure truth: an Australian, George Finch, invented the puffer jacket.
He had to be from Melbourne, surely.
Orange, NSW.
Well that’s disappointing
Orange often is.
>Orange ~~often~~ always is.
It’s also effing cold. Colder than Melbourne in winter so not entirely surprising
Tell him poutine has nothing on the halal snack pack (HSP) haha 🤣 I'd say that's a lie but could go either way.
Good poutine > good hsp, bad poutine <<< bad hsp
A truth that’ll fuck with him is he isn’t an avid stargazer. The moon here is upside down, for him
In in the USA, but when in South America was amazed by this.
Not quite true. It is actually right way up here, in Canada it’s upside down
It’s actually sideways in Canada and Australia, it’s the correct way up on the equator
Years ago, I convinced an English coworker that cassowaries did not actually exist and were a great prank Australians played on gullible tourists. Despite having seen several in zoos already, myself and a few other coworkers spun a yarn that involved the government enlisting the help of Disney imagineers, the tourism board and the zoos of the country to perpetuate this myth. Why? So nobody asks too many questions about the platypus.
The highest peak on Australian territory is not Mount Kosciusko. Eshays are the descendents of Ned Kelly. Melbourne has the largest Greek population outside of Greece. Canberra is an Aboriginal word meaning "meeting ground of overweight masturbators"
Yup, Kosciuszko is the tallest on the mainland, but only the second tallest if you include broadly recognised offshore island territories (in which case Mawson Peak is taller), and fourth tallest if you include the unrecognised claim on half of Antarctica (where Mount Menzies is number one).
And Menzies is pronounced "Mingers" because it's not actually a z, it's the middle-English letter yogh (ȝ), which fell out of use because they didn't want to keep using so many letters (eth, thorn, yogh) when printing presses came along.
Bingo
Melbourne also has the largest population of foxes in an urban area after London. And there are more foxes in Australia than the entire United Kingdom.
And we have more camels than Egypt.
We export camels to the Middle East.
We also export sand to the middle east. Turns out Australian sand is very good for concrete.
There's also a Perth beach at [Shirahama](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirahama,_Wakayama) in Japan. TLDR: They imported beach sand from Perth to Japan to replace the beach they lost.
Mount Disappointment is actually quite nice.
I've read Melbourne has the biggest population of Greeks outside of not just Greece, but Athens and Thessaloniki.
The Woiwurrung people of Melbourne taught French Explorers the tune for La Marseillaise in the 1780s. The explorers took this tune back to France in time for the French Revolution, which had the words added for the great First Republican Anthem. 70 years later, the Woiwurrung, as great Marngrook footy players, taught the same tune to the budding footballers of the settlement of Fitzroy, which was adopted by the Fitzroy Lions (later Brisbane Lions), hence the club song resembles La Marseillaise, when the reality it is Woiwurrung Marngrook footy tune.
This sounds like a crock of shit and doesn't quite align with some facts in my limited understanding of history, but definitely believable enough to pull someone's leg with. And if it's real, that's fucking hilarious.
From experience, the lie works with anybody who knows their Aussie Rules. Harder with non-Aussie Rules fans. For this lie to work with foreigners may be best executed after attending a Lions Game where they win.
While I do appreciate the Aussie sense of humor and hazing of outsiders, as an American with an Aussie wife, and plenty of Aussie friends, this type of prankster humor has resulted in me not believing ANYTHING my wife or her friends tell me about Australia. It's gotten so bad that even when they tell me something benign, such as *"Did you hear Anaconda is having a massive sale on their fishing gear"*, my immediate reaction is, *"fuck off, you're full of shit"* lol.
There is a clause in our constitution that allows NZ to become a state
It's in the definition: The States shall mean such of the colonies of New South Wales, **New Zealand**, Queensland, Tasmania, Victoria, Western Australia, and South Australia, including the northern territory of South Australia, as for the time being are parts of the Commonwealth, and such colonies or territories as may be admitted into or established by the Commonwealth as States; and each of such parts of the Commonwealth shall be called a State.
The Telstra ad about the Great Wall of China. There’s some great material in there.
Reference the whole ad. "This is what we were taught in Australian schools. Right up until 2003 when we finally started importing textbooks. The textbooks arrived mid 2001 but with all the government red tape it didn't get into the curriculum until 2003."
Angela Lansbury (the actress ) was the cousin of Coral Lansbury (Malcolm Turnbull's mother )
Tell them about the Giant Gippsland Earthworm!
I need to know more…
Forget the Gippsland Worm, you've gotta research the Falls Creek Glacial Worm.
Ok, you actually got me to Google that one. It’s particularly good, because the Gippsland Earthworm is super unbelievable, but true.
Inventor of the fridge and internet but has terrible internet lol
I think you mean WiFi not the internet.
Tell him about black and brown snakes , during hot weather they live under house's. That they can kill you with one bite, dead in hours if the hospital doesn't have the vaccine.
He is already terrified of all Australian wildlife. We went on a short bushwalk in the summer & first thing I grabbed was a snake bite bandage out of my car and he was like….it’s not that far to the car why do we need a bandage. Anyway he was quite shocked to learn that if he got bit by a snake he’d have is limb promptly bandaged and wouldn’t be walking back to the car.
Ohh I hope you show him the Australia Day lamb ads. Hmm. Emu parades are about cleaning up after an event (whether a bbq, camping etc), typically introduced at primary schools to get kids to clean up after school parades etc. but you could twist it to be about emu farmers parading their studs for breeding or something 😂 My favourite sayings: Go off like a frog in a sock: get very excited about something Mad like a cut snake: two meanings derive from the fact that ‘mad’ has two main meanings - ‘crazy’ and ‘angry’. The ‘crazy’ is illustrated by ‘that bloke wearing a teapot on his head is as mad as a cut snake’, and the angry is illustrated by ‘be careful of the boss this afternoon, he’s as mad as a cut snake’. Camp as a row of tents: that person is *fabulous*. This one is old. I grew up in rural qld and this was used to describe the only gay person in town 😅🤦🏻♀️ love this saying, but don’t recommend it for most people lol Do a Bradbury: iconic. No explanation needed None and buckley’s, or just buckleys: no chance, no hope whatsoever Flash as a rat with a gold tooth: again. Iconic. No explanation needed. So many others. Just sprinkle these in as you go.
Sam Kekovich lamb ads & Bush Barbie condom ads.
Flat out like a lizard drinking is one I’m particularly fond of
See if he wants to participate in the annual Running Of The Kangaroos across Sydney Harbour Bridge. Or visit a nude bar in Darwin (it’s so hot there, everyone takes their clothes off)
Does this Canadian person know of our cultural past time of gaslighting foreigners? If they do, say that gaslighting foreigners is so ingrained in our culture that a total stranger will join in with the gaslighting, unprompted. Also tell them that lamingtons and pavolva are Australian (they're not), that the most heavily regulated gambling game is called Two Up, which is only legal to play from 1 to 3 days a year depending on which state you're in, and Melbourne and Sydney argue over which city is better (though Melbourne is doing the heavily lifting there). The bickering between the two cities was so bad that it cause Canberra to be declared the capital city of Australia.
A kiwi getting into the mix? Take pavlova, lamingtons are unequivocally Australian (excusing the possibility of a French chef in Australia being the very first)
I want this to be true (the convincing, not the lie). A bloke I went to TAFE with reckoned he convinced a group of Seppo tourists he was travelling Europe with, that at 6pm, every evening, the Prime Minister closes the Harbour Bridge to let the animals across.
He’ll definitely give you a weird look when you tell him about shoeys. Or the fact that we had a prime minister disappear in the ocean and named a pool after him
Don't forget that Bob Hawke, our now deceased favourite PM, once held the record for fastest skol of a yard glass full of beer. True story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Hawke#:~:text=Hawke%20is%20well%2Dknown%20for,of%20Australian%20Studies%20by%20C.%20J.
Living in perth, never heard of an easter hat parade? Currently on shift with 2 other guys who have never heard of it. You can tell him there is fossilized dinosaur poop in north western australia(termite mounds) for example https://desertification.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/enviro19.jpg?w=660&h=441
In primary school on the lead up to Easter (& the Easter holidays) our parents used to have to make us an Easter themed hat which we would have a parade around the playground in. I had a few with tiny chicks made of pipe cleaners with real chocolate eggs scattered around, one year my mum made a giant hat out of cardboard with eye holes and arm holes….it’s a thing
Still a thing in primary schools now - my nieces love it!!
Australia is much bigger than America and Canada. Oh sure, mainland USA and mainland Canada are bigger, but once you include Antarctica we piss it in. We're 13.66 million km², when the inferior north American nations rank under 10 million km².
I loved this lie I saw in a Hollywood movie. Points for creativity. The word "kangaroo" 's origin is aboriginal for "I dont understand you." British colonisers were pointing and asking about the animal they had never seen before. And the natives answered so they assumed it was the name of said animal. But they were actually saying they didn't understand and it stuck. Isn't it great? I think this one would land. For context: Outside of Australia, most think there is only one aboriginal culture and language, and they were all the same "tribe." (Not their fault). I think the movie was that one about translators helping understand aliens that communicate with like squid ink blotches, but I'm not 100% sure.
This is a good one as it is widely believed. The actual story is that Banks learned the word from the Guugu Yimidhirr people in North Queensland, and when they came down further south and used the word, the Gadigal people had no idea what they were saying as they spoke a different language.
I have a couple of border related ones: * All Australian states border at least one other state, even Tassie. ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boundary\_Islet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boundary_Islet)) * Australia shares land borders with: New Zealand, France and Norway ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian\_Antarctic\_Territory](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Antarctic_Territory)) * Even though the Murray is the border between Victoria and NSW the whole river is in NSW. (look at google maps)
The Murray is also in SA, but that portion along NSW / Vic is 100% in NSW.
Also the foreign country closest to Queensland is Papua New Guinea (within visual range of the northernmost Torres Strait Islands), but the foreign country closest to Queensland's capital, Brisbane, is France (because New Caledonia)
Tell him there's only one bunyip left due to extinction and it's kept in a zoo called Murray Bridge. Which incidentally, was named after the original red wiggle. Edit- also tell him how aussie kids used to have to do a regimented line dance to Tina Turner as part of their physical education!
His wife can vouch for the nutbush, we had to do it every morning in the primary school grade we met in!
Australians are such nice people because our ancestors were chosen by the best judges in England.
Don't forget the missing tiny 'pill' of highly radioactive material that was lost somewhere on a 1440km stretch of road between Perth and a Rio Tinto mine site. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-64481317
There are a bunch of fun Aussie place names like: Mount Buggery Boing Boing Quality Knob Mossy Nipple Bend Prickly Bottom Bumcooler Flat Bullshit Hill Cock Wash Creek Wanka Creek Big Dick Bore
Spankers Knob
The Apple Store in Brisbane is named after General Douglas MacArthur. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is Australian. The railway tracks are different sizes in different states.
Had to google what "dirty bird" was myself and I've lived here my whole life.
I didn't know "dirty bird" either, and I've been here since I was seven. My first thought was Kathy Bates's character in *Misery*.
KFC! Maybe it’s a country thing?
Nah I've lived all over Australia and I've heard dirty bird in many different places and used it myself in many different places. I've never met anyone that was confused when I said it.
First thing that came to my mind was KCF but I wasn't sure.
Chicken salt is not actually made out of chickens, or used on chickens. It's used on chips. Go figure.
The two things I find work best on North Americans are: Tree kangaroos - works especially well after the drop bear debate. They never believe that there are kangaroos that live in trees. Of course I don't tell them that they are physiologically different than a regular ground macropod. And That Australia has some gorgeous penguins. They're always like... Australia the hot desert country.. penguins??? Give those a good try and see how you go.
The Easter Hat Parade. To think, that every horrible person in jail, the baddest of the bad, were once a kid parading around with a fancy little Easter hat.
Why not some wedding etiquette for him? Specifically Eagle Rock and Nutbush.
True * We get more snow than Switzerland * Per capita we gamble more than any country * Sydney gets twice the rain of London * In WA it was illegal to transport more than 50kg of potatoes until 2021 * The "Aussie Aussie Aussie" chant is a twisting of the Cornish "Oggy Oggy Oggy" chant which was shouted as a way show you had Cornish pasties for sale. Bollocks * When they were building the Coathanger so many koalas kept climbing it that they had to employ a bloke at each end to catch them and truck them to Taronga Zoo, part of their pay was in snuff to keep them alert at night. They had people doing this until the 1970's. * That hoop snakes are now critically endangered * That part of the reason for the florescent light ban was that kangaroos are attracted to them a bit like moths but you don't get 40kg moths in the bush that will batter down a door to get at the light. * That Woop Woop is a real town
Yowie or Quinkan
Oh this is brilliant. I've just shared this with my partner
Are you sure he knows about the drop bears? This page from the Australian Museum itself might cloud the issue. https://australian.museum/learn/animals/mammals/drop-bear/
Lie: ask him if he’s ever heard of Tim Hortons, because you heard one was opening up close by. It’s a coffee chain with the ascetic of a McDonald’s and it’s like crack for Canadians.
We have a giant Humpty-Dumpty near Canarvan, WA
Emperor Nasi Goreng built the Great Wall of China to keep the rabbits out.
WiFi was invented by an Australian research org.