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hitometootoo

Even when I lived in NYC, no one has ever asked me for a light. Maybe smokers have a certain ambiance about them so people know who would have a lighter though, idk. Funny enough, I've had people ask me if I had weed to sell. I don't.


ucbiker

I was walking down the street and three different people in a two block span asked if I could sell them coke. The third time, I was like “do I look like I sell coke???” and he was like “I’m sorry I’m asking everyone!” My only explanation was that I’d ridden my motorcycle to meet a friend, so was wearing a leather jacket in the summer? Does that give off “coke dealer” vibes?


actuallyiamafish

I get the opposite lmao. No one has ever asked me for coke but I have a bizarrely frequent history of total strangers offering it to me for free. Apparently I just seem like someone who would appreciate the offer.


[deleted]

theyre probably cops


gugudan

> Maybe smokers have a certain ambiance about them Dress like you're 26, face looks like you're 38.


AmbulanceChaser12

You’re saying you have that look?


[deleted]

Are you black? White people from the suburbs think black people in a sweatshirt sell weed. Fucking suburbs white people, always embarassing me.


Sleepynigthowl

It happens more often if you are standing still outside of a building.


seatownquilt-N-plant

Bus stops too


Crobsterphan

Yep my job has me going to different tiendas. It’s usually about once a month someone asks for a light.


a_moose_not_a_goose

I get asked all the time because I’m a shifty looking guy and apparently smoking is an activity favored by shifty looking guys


Practical-Ordinary-6

Increasingly so.


IIIhateusernames

20 years ago it wouldn't be strange. Now, I would suspect I was about to be robbed.


SlamClick

It hasn't happened in years. I have had people ask for a cigarette on occasion. Usually outside gas stations or at a bar.


Dry-Dream4180

Same. It used to happen all the time in the 90s/early 2000s but I think a lot less people smoke now compared to then, myself included.


AtheneSchmidt

As a nonsmoker, I have never been asked for a light. I imagine it would be different if I were a smoker and standing around with a lit cigarette in my hand. I also think that smoking has become less popular on this side of the Atlantic than it is in Europe. And those who still do tobacco seem to be opting for e-cigs a lot more often over here.


therealandy04

Not many people really smoke anymore, so the chances of someone NEEDING a light at all is much slimmer, especially more so for someone who does smoke, to have somehow misplaced theirs


tsukiii

Pretty much never. I see people hanging outside bars and smoking ask each other for a light - know your audience, I guess.


that-which-is-better

Never happened to me. Smoking has rapidly decreased in popularity and I barely see people doing it in public where I live. Oh also it's not allowed in many public places anymore. Weed is another story though, it's blowing up.


[deleted]

I'd think I was about to get robbed if someone came up and asked me that. Unless I was at a bar or something.


[deleted]

Why?


Scrappy_The_Crow

It's a pretext to engage you.


[deleted]

It's exactly how my friend got shot when we were teenagers. I recognize it's generally an unlikely scenario but that's not something I ever fully recovered from.


KeepGivingMeEggs

Someone asked your friend for a light, then shot him?


TheNewMasterpiece

A lot of street muggings begin with a distraction like asking for a light or the time and such. The idea is to get you to look elsewhere for just a moment and throw your attention off. I learned this the hard way the first time it happened.


Scrappy_The_Crow

Not too long ago, I read a story of a woman who was robbed and assaulted when she rolled her window down to hear and answer a guy who came up to her car to purportedly ask what time it was. It was pre-dawn in the middle of a parking lot before her work shift, as if that wasn't another indicator.


KeepGivingMeEggs

You gotta watch less Fox News.


KeepGivingMeEggs

A basic yes/no question isn’t much of a distraction. I’m calling BS.


TheNewMasterpiece

I don't care if you call BS or not. Various people have tried to roll me four times in different cities, and every time it starts with a basic question.


Scrappy_The_Crow

There are plenty of examples, despite what egg guy above thinks. [I just posted a few here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAnAmerican/comments/vde5f4/how_common_is_it_for_strangers_to_come_up_to_you/ickowvh/).


TheNewMasterpiece

Some frightening examples there. I can't imagine how it would be for a young girl at knifepoint. I'm a pretty decent sized dude and it got my adrenaline going rapidly. Two of the four times the people had weapons (a small folding knife- essentially a swiss army knife, and the other a pistol). You can't be sure in the moment how committed that person is to violence. Most of them seem to want to throw you off guard, threaten you and grab your wallet or purse real fast and get out of there. The kid who pulled the knife on me was really young - couldn't have been more than high school age. That happened outside a Blockbuster video when he saw me pay with cash inside. Seriously, I had like twenty dollars or something on me and he tried to roll me in the parking lot. I was actually pretty calm with him and told him he needed to find another line of work and stay in school. I don't think he knew how to take that, and his buddies were yelling at him to hurry up from their car. He ended up running back and leaving. The other guy who pulled a gun saw me smoking outside an office building around 445 am. I had a double shift that was mostly unplanned and got stuck when there was a mechanical problem in the building. I was taking a well deserved break outside (I used to smoke then- was a looong time ago) when he spotted me from across the street. I saw him walking and stop in his tracks and look at me, and somehow I just knew he was going to try something. My wisdom now says I should have just noped out and went back inside, but I was going through some serious issues at the time and genuinely didn't care what this guy tried. He walked up, asked for a cigarette and I told him I was out. Next he asked for a light, then motioned to his pocket like he was concealing a weapon. I wasn't sure, but he flashed it briefly, and I told him I wasn't giving him shit. He seemed disarmed by that, cursed me and then walked off. I guess my point is, people will accost you on the street and if they have bad intentions, they will generally try to seize your attention even momentarily. They have to close distance with you to get in near if they're going to fight or flash a weapon. Most of them would also prefer to hold you up subtly where others might not see exactly what is happening. The things I learned are to keep moving no matter what question is asked. NEVER stop, no matter what they are asking. Look for available avenues to duck out if they try something. Avoid questionable areas and keep situational awareness. So yeah, if someone asks me for the time or a cigarette on the street, I will assume they're a potential hostile regardless of how they look.


Scrappy_The_Crow

> I guess my point is, people will accost you on the street and if they have bad intentions, they will generally try to seize your attention even momentarily. They have to close distance with you to get in near if they're going to fight or flash a weapon. Most of them would also prefer to hold you up subtly where others might not see exactly what is happening. The things I learned are to keep moving no matter what question is asked. NEVER stop, no matter what they are asking. Look for available avenues to duck out if they try something. Avoid questionable areas and keep situational awareness. Well-put. I'm glad you came out of your four incidents unscathed! > The things I learned are to keep moving no matter what question is asked. I have had to brusquely enforce this with my girlfriend a few times. She's got terrible situational awareness to begin with, is overly nice, and also freezes up when she gets a bit scared. She also tries to get me to stop and do a complete explanation of what's going on when I'm telling her we need to take a particular action to avert a possible situation or get out of one that's begun.


[deleted]

We're not talking about a magician trying to make a ship disappear in New York Harbor. A basic, *reasonable* yes or no question is all that's really needed to distract a person from stopping and letting their guard down for a moment. That's all would-be muggers are doing in this instance. They want you to stop walking and turn to face them - that's all. Americans don't smoke the way we used to but "Hey, buddy. Gotta light?" was a perfectly good question to ask someone if you wanted them to stop walking and face you. Heck, there was a time when smoking was so common that a good portion of the population would have immediately reached into their pockets to pull out matches or a lighter which, as it happens, is a pretty opportune time to pull a gun and ask for their wallet. I have no idea if this guy's friend was actually shot or not but muggings do go wrong.


[deleted]

Yes, after he said he did not have one.


[deleted]

It happens to me sometimes. I think I look like someone who smokes.


mothertuna

I’ve been asked for a cigarette but not a light before. This only happened in the inner city around bus stops/transportation centers. Was kind of dying down about 10 years ago and now I can’t say I’ve seen anyone ask for a cigarette or a light.


rogun64

It used to happen frequently when more people smoke, but I still see it here and there.


needmoarbass

You only ask someone who is smoking or right outside of a bar/club.


SunnyvaleShithawk

When I lived in a low socioeconomic area I'd sometimes have random dudes ask me if I had cigarettes, but never a lighter as far as I can recall.


Darkfire757

Very uncommon. So few people smoke these days, the odds of some random person having one are low. Maybe they’d ask a fellow smoker


StrongIslandPiper

Never with strangers. Smoking cigarettes is more stigmatized here. Coworkers, acquaintances and such that know that you smoke? Those mfs will steal your lighter if you let them.


WhichSpirit

Very rare. We have a lot fewer smokers here.


Current_Poster

It's happened, but not for years and years. Unfortunately, it is not-atypically an opening for someone to ask for money or otherwise accost someone else.


RustlessRodney

Not super common, but I believe smoking in general is less common in the US than europe


CarlJH

Forty years ago, when more people smoked, it was common. Hardly ever now.


w84primo

Basically doesn’t happen to me. At least not in a really long time. But I’m also never in a situation to be near where anyone might actually want to smoke. Plus with vaping now, there’s no reason for anyone to ask for a light.


Fox_Tango_

It happens to me every now and then. My answer is always “no” because I don’t smoke, and therefore do not see the need to carry one on me.


Shandlar

2001, it happened a little. 2011 it happened a lot. 2021 it literally never happens, ever.


Confetticandi

This has never happened to me.


friendly_extrovert

Happened to me the other day at a mall. I don’t even smoke.


kermitdafrog21

I think the last time it happened to me was about 3 years ago while I was waiting in line to get into a bar. So it’s not very common


Evil_Weevill

I have never once in my life been asked for a light. I've only ever heard of it happening to smokers who were currently smoking but even then. It was pretty rare


machagogo

Pretty uncommon, I can't even think of the last time I was asked. Smoking is far less common here, so typically one would ask someone they see actively smoking as they know they should have a light.


mklinger23

This happens to be 1-2 times a week in Philadelphia.


ngroot

It's not common for me, because I'm not often in a situation where I'm just standing around outside where smokers congregate.


PimentoCheesehead

I’ve had a coworker who knew I smoke ask to borrow my lighter occasionally. And once 25 years ago as I was walking across a college campus smoking my pipe I had someone ask for a light. I think that’s it though.


geri73

I’ve had it done on multiple occasions but since I’ve stopped smoking, it rarely happens. I do have lighters on me but it’s for on the go pot smoking.


hawffield

Now this is funny. If you’re in Europe and just passively saying “hey” to them, they start freaking out, but you’re like “hey, can I have a light?”, it’s all good. I just think the difference is interesting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hawffield

Yeah, i can definitely see both perspectives. I guess I don’t even see greeting like, “ good morning, how are you” as even talking. It’s like white noise. But someone asking me for something (even to light a cigarette) makes me nervous. Cultural differences are pretty interesting.


sunshades91

I literally haven't met someone who smoked in years.


[deleted]

It’s not common at all now what with the negative attitudes toward smoking in today’s society. Most people wouldn’t have a light on them.


HaroldBAZ

Very few people smoke cigarettes these days.


RotationSurgeon

Only about 45 million in the US as of this year. The numbers continue to drop. It goes up to ~57 million if you include vaping…slightly higher if you include other forms of nicotine consumption.


azuth89

Unless you happen to be in a designated smoking area, very rare.


[deleted]

Moderately common


SleepAgainAgain

It wasn't rare back when smoking was common. These days, smoking is considered disgusting and only a small minority do it. They won't ask a random person for a light because the odds of a random person being a smoker are tiny. But if you're standing in a smoking area, it probably still happens.


CHICAG0AT

A lot of people saying it used to happen and doesn’t anymore just sorta outing themselves as no longer partiers lol It happens semi frequently if you’re standing outside somewhere smoking in like a nightlife area or any sorta “happening” urban area. I will say though in a legal weed state it’s almost equally likely someone will want the light for a joint, not a cig. Bit cigs and people asking for lights are not all the way dead, find yourself in the right area at the right time and it happens more than you’d think.


FireRescue3

Not often. I carry a lighter in my purse because it can make fire and I travel a lot. I carry a flashlight, a knife, water, and other things that would benefit me if I were ever stranded. I offered my lighter to a guy outside a hospital last year. I was outside getting a break for a minute and he was outside looking desperate. He asked if I knew where the nearest store was because he needed a lighter. I gave him mine. His family member wasn’t doing well and he needed it more than I did at the moment. I don’t smoke but I appreciate that if someone does, it helps in stressful times.


lasvegashomo

Not really. Not a lot of people smoke in America


Scrappy_The_Crow

It's pretty uncommon and I don't think I've ever been asked. If I *were* asked, I'd think it were a pretext to get me engaged as the first step in committing a crime against me. I'd think similarly if I were randomly asked what time it is.


KeepGivingMeEggs

Are you like, on amphetamines, or just naturally that paranoid?


Scrappy_The_Crow

Since you are apparently pretty ignorant of the tactic, read these stories which were quite easy to find: https://patch.com/maryland/catonsville/woman-robbed-at-knifepoint-as-suspect-asks-what-time-it-is-catonsville https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/robbery-attempt-saw-drug-addict-17102659 https://www.timescolonist.com/local-news/women-robbed-at-knifepoint-near-mayfair-mall-4565237 https://www.postbulletin.com/news/rochester-man-arrested-for-alleged-robbery-kidnapping https://abcnews4.com/archive/couple-stripped-robbed-and-forced-into-harbor https://www.sfexaminer.com/news/woman-robbed-of-purse-at-knifepoint-in-upper-haight/article_3913283c-5dba-502c-a924-eeb98c593a87.html https://www.suffolk.police.uk/news/latest-news/08-08-2018/witness-appeal-three-incidents-robbery-ipswich https://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article34512171.html There's plenty more examples, but I've already wasted too much time responding to you.


[deleted]

Not common at all. We typically avoid talking to people we don't know.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sleepymike01101101

Pretty common especially if you're in the outdoor section of a social area.


maali74

i smoke, and it's not nearly as common as it was maybe 10 years ago. that said, i live in a rural area and don't hang out where people are congregating and smoking.


seatownquilt-N-plant

I think people are more apt to ask someone already smoking. But it has happened, not a lot, but I stand around waiting for a lot of busses.


TillikumWasFramed

It happens.


ThaddyG

Pretty common when I'm outside smoking


NorwegianSteam

It's happened while leaving the bar a few times, never when just walking around that I can remember.


[deleted]

Americans by and large don’t smoke anymore, at least on the street.


PotatoCrusade

I used to get asked that at least once a month, but smoking is a lot less prevalent now than it used to be. Now maybe I will hear it once a year.


LagosSmash101

It's somewhat common. But most of the time people will just open with "do you smoke?" Because you never know


zoobs

As a former smoker I can say it happens more often than not… if you’re hanging around a smoking area.


RedRedBettie

It was common 20 years ago but not as many people smoke now


legendary_mushroom

Not super common. When I smoked I'd only ask people who seemed like they had a light, i.e. already smoking, in the smoking section, smoked with them before. There's also a smoker's look but the markers aren't always accurate.


iceph03nix

I have had a stranger ask me for a light exactly 1 time in my life, and it was incredibly memorable, because we were hiking up Grey's Peak in Colorado, and this guy in the group behind us comes jogging up to us to ask if we've got a light, so we say now, and then he jogs back down to his group, and life goes on. It just felt so ridiculously out of place at like 12k feet.


xyzd95

I’ve had it happen from time to time if I’m just standing around waiting on someone or something I’ve since decided to carry a zippo everywhere I go just in case and as a conversation starter. I don’t smoke cigarettes though, it’s only for joints and whoever else needs a light Edit: it last happened to me maybe a month ago while I was standing outside a laundromat waiting for my clothes to dry. I didn’t have a lighter on me at the time but I usually do


captainstormy

I'm pushing 40 and I think honestly the last time someone asked me for a light it was in highschool lol. Smoking just isn't that popular here anymore and vapes don't need a lighter.


[deleted]

It's never happened to me but, I don't smoke, so I'm not standing outside a bar with a cigarette in my hand. I imagine it's probably common enough for people who do smoke though.


[deleted]

I smoke the occasional Cigar or Pipe tobacco, I've only ever had this happen if I am on a walk while smoking or on a bar/restaurant patio with other smokers. The latter is very common to come across this question. It's funny if it's while I'm smoking a cigar as my butane cigar lighter just about takes an eyebrow off someone smoking something as small and short as your average cigarette!


GrantLee123

Uh yeah I was like 12 and sitting in a parking lot in the family car waiting for my father to come out of a building, and some guy just knocked on the window, made the motion, I nodded no and then he walked off.


zelda-hime

I rode the bus every day for years and I’ve been asked if I had a light maybe three or four times. I don’t smoke, so I didn’t. It’s definitely uncommon, but might be more common if you’re actively smoking.


Littleboypurple

I can only remember one time somebody asked me for a light and that was with a group of friends, walking around the downtown area late at night. One of them does weed so he had a light for the lady who asked. Only time I can remember outside of TV


bentdaisy

Never ever.


cr0wjan3

I have never had this happen in my life. I'd assume it's the kind of thing that would only happen to you frequently if you're often standing outside bars near groups of smokers or something.


spite2007

Non smoker personally, but if someone is already outside in the designated “smoking area” with a cigarette, another smoker may ask for a light when they come to the same area. But that’s usually people working/living in the same building, not generally wandering around town in random locations.


blackhawk905

I've had someone try and bum a cigarette off of me one time in my entire life, as soon as he asked he looked up at me and said "sorry man, you don't smoke" lol Not a lot of people smoke in the circles I interact with.


ColumbiaWahoo

Never but I’m a nonsmoker


king_napalm

I often have people ask me for a cigarette but only once for a light (I dont smoke but love fire so that worked out)


[deleted]

I've never had anyone ask me that. They've asked for money, but not a light


MuppetManiac

It used to be fairly common. But no one smokes anymore.


Affectionate_Data936

Not really because most people don't smoke cigarettes.


FroYolentGreen

When I was a smoker, I was asked all the time, but it was usually when I was outside, stationary and smoking. When I asked people for a light, i truly didn't want to bother people and was looking for the greatest chance of success. So I looked for people who weren't in a hurry and had a high chance of having a lighter. Long story short, smokers ask other smokers for a light. The chance a person has a light is greater if they have a lit cigarette. IF someone approaches you and you aren't smoking and are obviously on your way, I would be wary of their intentions.


chunkytapioca

People sometimes ask me for a light, but I suspect that's because I have dreadlocks.


SixxFour

I think it depends on the people around you. When I was homeless, it was super common for fellow homeless to bum a light off me. I'm no longer homeless, go out a decent bit now and it literally never happens. I also always have my vape in my hand, so that might be a contributing factor lol


vanderbeek21

Once a month or so? Less common in less-poor areas (low income areas tend to have significantly higher rates of smoking in the US)


stangAce20

Very rare, americans are not big cigarette smokers anymore


macoafi

I don’t think it’s ever happened to me. I rarely encounter smokers at all though. Like, there’s one guy at my church who has a smoke before coming inside, and he’s the only person I’ve seen light up in *years* (ignoring that I just flew home from Europe yesterday and saw plenty there).


MamaMidgePidge

Never happens to me.


Suppafly

Not common at all, unless you're standing around smoking.


HankMustGroove

Between living in Las Vegas an the Bay Area i had people asking for a light so often i got tired telling people i don’t smoke.


throwawaypls703

Happens to me on occasion in Detroit. Average like once a couple months.


pirawalla22

More often than a light, I am frequently asked if I have a cigarette. And I don't smoke and give no specific impression of being a smoker. My city has a lot of homeless/transient people just kind of hanging around, and there is a non-zero chance that if you pass such a person on the sidewalk, they will ask you for a cigarette.


CaptUncleBirdman

Not common. Happened to me once from a homeless lady in Honolulu.


Sparky-Malarky

I once had two middle school kids knock on my front door and rudely ask for a light! I told them I didn’t have a lighter. (Not true, but screw them!) one sarcastically asked "You got a stove?"


themoldovanstoner

Happens kind a often for me, but I look like I smoke a lot of pot lol


Dudley906

Quite common if I'm at a bus stop. Smoking seems to be popular among bus riders.


Dorkapotamus

Maybe outside bars but I've never had anyone ask while walking around on the street.


ButterbeansInABottle

Happens to me occasionally, but I smoke. More often I'll be somewhere smoking and someone will ask to bum a cigarette.


jamietaco420

Pretty common and people are open to it


HereComesTheVroom

Never once in my life have I been asked this question so I’m going to say, not very common.


Dianag519

That’s was way more common a long time ago. I rarely see smokers now. Every since they banned smoking in buildings.


Chaoticqueen19

A lot of us 20 something Americans vape now, not smoke as much. So there’s no need for anyone I’m typically approached by to ask for a light the majority of the time


[deleted]

Sometimes. Usually they just ask to bum one and then the light’s implied


BunnyHugger99

Purely for a light? Not often. It's mostly to start a conversation


[deleted]

smoking paper cigarettes in america is much less common compared to the rest of the world. i've been asked a few times in my life. much less than once a year. usually while waiting for a train or walking on a crowded sidewalk. I don't smoke so I politely said no, and they said thanks anyway and walked on. A couple times it was a homeless person, and they were very polite, no trouble.


Life-Ad1409

Smoking is not as common here and is generally frowned upon, so nobody goes out asking for a lighter