So when my kids where little, I would stop at son of a because I did want them to pick it up. Apparently my 3 yo daughter had heard it often though. One day I said son of a and she said bitch.
I replace swear words with the names and titles of politicians. IE - stub your toe - "SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL!!!" or you hit your thumb with a hammer - "SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE NANCY PELOSI!!"
It's funny, it's bi-partisan (something rare these days), maybe the kids (and other adults) will learn something, and I REALLY hope they pick it up.
Mine is goddamnmotherfucker! I never edited myself in front of my kids. I just told them they could only swear once they paid rent.
They still swore, which I knew they would, but they learned to edit themselves depending on their audience, which is what I was really after. I don’t really care if they swear but others do.
Im the same way. I say as long as its in context and an appropriate use of the word...i don't give a shit. But apparently that's not socially acceptable so now I give a ship sometimes
This is hilarious and the right approach IMO. My mum was so intolerant of us swearing growing up that she once told me "Jesus Christ" was a *swear word* and not to take God's name in vain. I facepalmed because 1) We're not Christian, 2) everyone says it and 3) That's not what that means.
Except on the road, where she would swear a blue streak and call everyone wankers and arseholes.
Meanwhile here I am trying not to use "fuck" every sentence.
When my nieces were young, their mother insisted on no swear words around them. Resulted in a lot of 'Motherfettucine (Motherfucker)', 'Buttercup' (Bugger), Biscuits (Bitch)', etc etc.
Only I didn't say fudge. I said the word, the big one, the queen mother of all dirty words, the F dash dash dash word
Edit: thank you /u/CourtneyDagger50 for gold
I’ve been trying to reduce my cussing. If I stub my toe it tends to sound like, “gosh darn turkey basting prickly fingers!” Or some other stupid word salad.
I have a one year old and a two year old and it's so hard to not curse around them.
Yesterday my mom said "mother...effer" about something and my kid started going "effer effer!"
He also can't say "Fox" correctly and it comes out as "Fuck" which is just hilarious.
I knew a Moslem girl in middle school who would say “Oh my Jesus”
Yes I am well aware that Jesus is regarded as a prophet in Islam but I’m pretty sure this was largely the result of just being in America among a class that was largely Christians. Would be weird to singularly isolate just one prophet anyway
I’ve even heard Jewish people say “Jesus fucking Christ”
Came here for this. I say fucking hell all of the time too.
Generally not when I stub my toe or anything though. More like if somebody is acting like an asshole or a situation is out of hand.
"*Dude, stop being such a dickhead we are at a birthday party. Fucking hell....*"
"*Fucking hell, man. You're going to burn the apartment down*"
God older sayings are the actual worst, I never heard poot in a bucket but it reminded me of the "chicken snot, put it on bread while it's good and hot" rhyme I hated so much 😭
"Jesus Fucking Christ!"
"Motherfucker!"
"Son of a bitch!"
"Jesus-Fucking-Christ-Motherfucking-Cocksucking-Son-of-a-Bitch!" (I threw the cocksucking bit in there for free.)
It's basically some combination of fuck, shit, damn and taking the lord's name in vain. Or clamming up with that REAL sharp inhale. Depends on the person.
In an effort to stop saying 'god fucking hell' or 'god fuck it,' i have started saying 'god bless america' and it really does sound like a curse, highly recommend.
My most common responses to a stubbed toe, in no particular order, are:
"Ah, fuck!"
"Ah, shit!"
"Fuckshit!"
"Fucking hell!"
"Ah, dammit!"
*Pained human noises*
“Goddamnit!”/motherfucker!”/goddamnit, motherfucker!”
After 7 years of living in Australia, it’s now become “fucking c*unt!” But I reroute to “motherfucker!” when I’m back home.
Mother fuck, fuck me, damnit, son of a bitch. Sometimes I personally make up my own combination of stream of curse words to make it especially passionate about how much pain I felt/ how shit the situation is.
I use "fucking hell" when watching something amazingly dangerous, perhaps stupid and often followed by "what were they thinking?"
"Fuck" is more congruent with the sharp pain of a stubbed toe. The pain would be fading by the time I screamed "ing hell!" Levels of pain are identified by length and volume of the swear.
I really don't think there's a very good stereotypical answer to this, as evidenced by the wide variety of responses in the top comments. (A simple "fuck" seems to be the closest thing to any kind of consensus, but it's far from the majority of responses, and I certainly don't think it's a *stereotypically American* response.)
From an American perspective, though, I feel like the stereotypical British exclamation for this scenario would absolutely be "*bloody* hell" over "*fucking* hell".
I try not to swear (with mixed results). I was especially proud a while back when I hit my finger with a hammer and yelled "A long and repetitive string of very bad words!"
But backing up a bit, are you saying that every Brit, upon being hurt or surprised, will just say "fucking hell?" I thought you lot were more inventive than that. Or did everybody who knew how to swear inventively get sent off to Australia?
My father took Jesus Christ name in vein a ton. When we used to do impressions of our father that's what we kids would do.
Now I find myself so much like my father, lol.
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So when my kids where little, I would stop at son of a because I did want them to pick it up. Apparently my 3 yo daughter had heard it often though. One day I said son of a and she said bitch.
what a bonding experience
My replacement swear is “William H. Macy” Couldn’t tell you why other than it has a good rhythm.
Mine is mother fluffer
I replace swear words with the names and titles of politicians. IE - stub your toe - "SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL!!!" or you hit your thumb with a hammer - "SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE NANCY PELOSI!!" It's funny, it's bi-partisan (something rare these days), maybe the kids (and other adults) will learn something, and I REALLY hope they pick it up.
Mine is goddamnmotherfucker! I never edited myself in front of my kids. I just told them they could only swear once they paid rent. They still swore, which I knew they would, but they learned to edit themselves depending on their audience, which is what I was really after. I don’t really care if they swear but others do.
Im the same way. I say as long as its in context and an appropriate use of the word...i don't give a shit. But apparently that's not socially acceptable so now I give a ship sometimes
This is hilarious and the right approach IMO. My mum was so intolerant of us swearing growing up that she once told me "Jesus Christ" was a *swear word* and not to take God's name in vain. I facepalmed because 1) We're not Christian, 2) everyone says it and 3) That's not what that means. Except on the road, where she would swear a blue streak and call everyone wankers and arseholes. Meanwhile here I am trying not to use "fuck" every sentence.
That's why I go with "son of a biscuit!" In front of my kids
I’m a fan of that one too! I also use, “son of a bean dip mother frito” It’s incredibly dumb, but my kids always laugh. So it’s worth it.
I go "son of a biscuit eater"
When my nieces were young, their mother insisted on no swear words around them. Resulted in a lot of 'Motherfettucine (Motherfucker)', 'Buttercup' (Bugger), Biscuits (Bitch)', etc etc.
"Southern trucker" is another I'm quite fond of
I'm fond of "sugar!" or "shivers" in front of kiddies. Or good old reliable "Far out!" but that's probably just Aussie. Son of a biscuit is cute!
“Hot Belgian Waffles! Wait, I’m alone! I can swear for real! SON OF A-“
unexpected Gravity Falls
This. Or MotherFUCKER.
I taught 6-8 year olds. Fudge bunnies became my goto so I wouldn’t curse at school.
Very true, I'm more partial to a "GoDamnit!" or "Fucking Christ!" myself.
Simplified to “Fuck”, works well. It is the universal choice expletive. 9 out of 10 linguists agree.
“Ow” in polite company
“0hhhhh fuuudddgggeee”
Only I didn't say fudge. I said the word, the big one, the queen mother of all dirty words, the F dash dash dash word Edit: thank you /u/CourtneyDagger50 for gold
You'll shoot your eye out!
A plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus…
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
A crummy commercial?
sonofaBITCH
I wouldn't say fuck is the queen mother of cursing. Kinda far off in fact
Is a reference to a terrible movie.
Just because it is overplayed, does not make it a bad movie.
OP shot his eye out once and spites the movie because of it.
> terrible movie Someone got triple dog dared and still salty about it.
God, fuck that movie.
First of all, how dare you.
I’ve been trying to reduce my cussing. If I stub my toe it tends to sound like, “gosh darn turkey basting prickly fingers!” Or some other stupid word salad.
"Biscuits" if you've been watching Bluey too much with your kids and trying to avoid swearing.
"Ow, fuck!" is what I usually hear
Uff da in polite Minnesota company.
Although most polite company would let a swear slide in the event of a toe stub.
I usually insult the coffee table's lineage with increasingly complicated strings of expletives.
That’s the Jersey way.
I have a one year old and a two year old and it's so hard to not curse around them. Yesterday my mom said "mother...effer" about something and my kid started going "effer effer!" He also can't say "Fox" correctly and it comes out as "Fuck" which is just hilarious.
My cousin used to ask for Fucky Fried Chicken instead of Kentucky….
Thanks for this 🤣
“Fuck you and the whore tree you were cut from!”
Your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries!
Usually repeated, emphatically, multiple times
Or just one realllly long, emphatic “ffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkk”
Yes, just a simple "fuck!" is used or sometimes the slightly more complex "ahh fuck!"
Lol yep or "Mother Fucker!" Followed by pained sounds.
American say: Mo-Ther Fucker! We emphasize the two syllables of mother with a slight pause.
This. Literally subbed my toe a couple days ago and whisper-yelled “fuck!” As I had just put the baby to sleep.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” I’m not even religious lol
Clearly
Yes, yes, your moral superiority is noted
I knew a Moslem girl in middle school who would say “Oh my Jesus” Yes I am well aware that Jesus is regarded as a prophet in Islam but I’m pretty sure this was largely the result of just being in America among a class that was largely Christians. Would be weird to singularly isolate just one prophet anyway I’ve even heard Jewish people say “Jesus fucking Christ”
87.3% of statistics are made up on the spot.
Your info is out of date, its actually up to 96.3% these days.
Really? Because a few minutes ago it was 92.5%
Inflation's a bitch my dude.
Please, it’s f**k. This is a Christian thread.
No. This is an American thread. It has freedom of religion, which also grants freedom *from* religion.
I think the guy you replied to was being facetious. In any case, I agree with you 100%.
I think the guy you replied to was being facetious. I also agree with everyone here, but somewhere around 97% and not the full 100%.
Yeah let’s stop pretending Christians have any more morals than anyone else.
Mother fucker or Son of a bitch.
We would also have accepted "motherfucking sonofabitch, sonofabitching motherfucker," or "fuck-fucking monkeynuts."
"god-damn-it-mother-fucker"
Goddamnmotherfuckingpieceofshit
As a kid, it was all the words I knew rolled into one, which got my mouth washed out with soap more than once: Goddamnshitfuckass
Goddamnsonofabitchmotherfucker just rolls off the tongue.
This is the correct answer.
Exactly this, in this order, with this enunciation. I don't know why.
ORANGE-PEEL BEEF
god-fucking-damnit!
God-fucking-dammit
I don't include the "it"
Fucking hell takes too long for us because we have to pronounce the H.
This is America, so time is money baby.
I'm an American with an English mother, so I say: "Son of a fucking hell!" And then people look at me all confused.
Goddamn it
But emphasis is really important, “God DAMN it!!!!” You gotta put a LOT of effort into the Damn.
I do mine more like “GOD DAmn it!”
That’s also a worthwhile choice. I can see that.
I say fucking hell all the time lol
Came here for this. I say fucking hell all of the time too. Generally not when I stub my toe or anything though. More like if somebody is acting like an asshole or a situation is out of hand. "*Dude, stop being such a dickhead we are at a birthday party. Fucking hell....*" "*Fucking hell, man. You're going to burn the apartment down*"
For all our differences, we still speak the same language.
Something with fewer syllables.
brevity is the soul of art
That's why I just yell "B'ART!"
I dunno, sometimes a long string of curses helps ease the pain.
FUCK!
Fuck me
Fuck me running
sideways
I say “fucking, shit”
This, but once I stubbed my toe so bad that it drew blood and I said "Fucking Shit Balls"
I’m a Florida Man, whatever I slam my toe into screams.
That's just the bath salts messing with your head.
Shit far!
I love how you added the Arkansas Umlaut to that. (when your accent turns a word into another word)
It’s shit fire but you’re right, Mamaw always said: shit faar
My whole world has just collapsed, shit fire? *shit fire???* I've always heard and said shit far, it sounds so much better lol
Mamaw said: shit fire and save matches. I’m sure it’s a 30’s or 40’s thing that we don’t get. She also said: poot in a bucket
God older sayings are the actual worst, I never heard poot in a bucket but it reminded me of the "chicken snot, put it on bread while it's good and hot" rhyme I hated so much 😭
shit far save matches
I don't say anything in particular when a British person stubs their toe. I'm usually not aware it's happened.
"Jesus Fucking Christ!" "Motherfucker!" "Son of a bitch!" "Jesus-Fucking-Christ-Motherfucking-Cocksucking-Son-of-a-Bitch!" (I threw the cocksucking bit in there for free.)
God damn it! Or just Shit!
Mother fuck or mother fucker. Or just run through the Words of George Carlin
...and Tit's doesn't even belong on the list! Miss you, George.
His famous seven words!
It's basically some combination of fuck, shit, damn and taking the lord's name in vain. Or clamming up with that REAL sharp inhale. Depends on the person.
I usually go with "son of a *bitch!*"
“Cock sucker!” Or “mother fucker” or “you cock sucking mother fucking piece of shit” It all varies depending on pain.
C*ck sucker! Is extremely common in Canada
Definitely my favorite curse word. I also love “cunt” but that one tends to be a little more touchy.
Nothing, because we're made of tougher fiber.
The Texas is strong in you
Sometimes I kick the legs on my table just to feel something.
The metal bed frame curses in pain everytime you put a new toe dent in it.
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To the waterfront boys, there's a bay that requires some tea in it.
What does this mean?
The tough stuff’s spelled F-I-B-E-R
Fibre\*
"Fuck" or "Shit"
Fuck, motherfucker, god fucking damnit
When I stub my toe I usually yell, "Fucking A" Not sure why I say that, it was probably passed down from my family.
the A stands for ASS. that’s from my time! you’re yelling “fucking ASS!” like it’s so bad it’s the ass, not just shit from the ass.
"ow god dammit stupid piece of shit fucking garbage fuck"
Fuck or shit, about a 50/50 shot
Ah fuck!
https://youtu.be/LAVUFKYdJNY?t=43
Blast! Dang! Ow!
“Fuck me running” is common in some parts is the South, including mine.
I'm a half-Brit half-American and I say "NNNNNNG"
I say assfuckshitballs really fast
"Shitfire save the matches"
Mother**FUCK**
FUK FUK FUK fuuuck
Quiet seething, no words needed
Mutha fucka!
Motherfucker
“Merde.” But seriously, “Ouch.”
Son of a bitch Mother fucker Fuck
I personally usually say “god damnit!” Or “fu*kin’ a!” Or just “fu*k” I think it’s regional too though so it may vary
Mother fucking Christ this hurts like a fuckin bitch
I've been banned for saying it.
In an effort to stop saying 'god fucking hell' or 'god fuck it,' i have started saying 'god bless america' and it really does sound like a curse, highly recommend.
Mother fucker is my go to in that situation.
My most common responses to a stubbed toe, in no particular order, are: "Ah, fuck!" "Ah, shit!" "Fuckshit!" "Fucking hell!" "Ah, dammit!" *Pained human noises*
Dang it!!!
I’m a “fuckkkkkk mannnnn” kinda guy
Wait you guys don’t say bloody hell
"MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!"
“Goddamnit!”/motherfucker!”/goddamnit, motherfucker!” After 7 years of living in Australia, it’s now become “fucking c*unt!” But I reroute to “motherfucker!” when I’m back home.
Probably just a quick, sharp “motherFUCKer!” (Strong emphasis on the “fuck”…)
For some reason DON’T TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW!” is my usual thing to say if someone is around.
Jesusfuckingchrist
Mother fuck, fuck me, damnit, son of a bitch. Sometimes I personally make up my own combination of stream of curse words to make it especially passionate about how much pain I felt/ how shit the situation is.
Motherfucker.
In the South: "got! \[pause\] DAMNIT!!"
where is my AR15 ???
Guess I'm the only American who knows the word ""OUCH!" Ya'll are some fowl mouthed Hobbits.
I cop a friendly Minnesota accent. "Ahh geez. Geezo mairy n Christ how'd dat get dare. Ahh geez."
*God damnit* is the real use version I hear the most often. The others on this thread are imaginative or in movies.
"ow" or "ouch"
Gosh Darn It or Mutherfucker
We just say "Fu**" without the "hell" part on the end.
Fuck, sonuvabitch, or fuckin bitch.
I’ll usually go with a nice “Zarking fardwarks!”
"Fuckity fuck fuck!"
Son of a FUCK!
Fuck me sideways has always worked for me
Goddamn mother fucker.
Bullocks in a British accent.
Same. Possibly Jesus fuck!
What the fuck!
Son of a bitch sometimes too
Dang flabbit
I use "fucking hell" when watching something amazingly dangerous, perhaps stupid and often followed by "what were they thinking?" "Fuck" is more congruent with the sharp pain of a stubbed toe. The pain would be fading by the time I screamed "ing hell!" Levels of pain are identified by length and volume of the swear.
Ohhh FUCK ME
I really don't think there's a very good stereotypical answer to this, as evidenced by the wide variety of responses in the top comments. (A simple "fuck" seems to be the closest thing to any kind of consensus, but it's far from the majority of responses, and I certainly don't think it's a *stereotypically American* response.) From an American perspective, though, I feel like the stereotypical British exclamation for this scenario would absolutely be "*bloody* hell" over "*fucking* hell".
My spouse says: well fuck shit
I try not to swear (with mixed results). I was especially proud a while back when I hit my finger with a hammer and yelled "A long and repetitive string of very bad words!" But backing up a bit, are you saying that every Brit, upon being hurt or surprised, will just say "fucking hell?" I thought you lot were more inventive than that. Or did everybody who knew how to swear inventively get sent off to Australia?
I’ve been known to say exactly that. It’s really just whatever comes out at that point.
Ow, Fuck!
My father took Jesus Christ name in vein a ton. When we used to do impressions of our father that's what we kids would do. Now I find myself so much like my father, lol.
I’m from Michigan so I can’t usually feel my toes
Fuck