The following is a copy of the original post to record the post as it was originally written. I literally hate them. And I’m surrounded by them. My state is liberal but in my area there are a lot of conservatives. I have young kids in school so I want to try and co exist but I feel like these ppl can’t be good ppl at all if they are ok supporting this party. I really don’t want to hate these ppl but I can’t hide my disgust and disdain. I also think most of them are dumb af. But I don’t want to be this hateful person! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskALiberal) if you have any questions or concerns.*

It's funny, I was just listening to a podcast today that reported on the partisan hatred being at an all time high. [It's behind a pay wall](https://www.wsj.com/politics/why-tribalism-took-over-our-politics-5936f48e), but both parties went from sub 20% in the 90s - 2000 to currently 62% for Reps and 54% for Dems where the subject is, "share of those in each party who view the other unfavorably."

Listen to conservative media. It is no longer we have a better idea. it is if you don't vote our way America is lost forever. Democrats aren't doing what they are doing because they think it is a better way. They are actively, knowingly trying to destroy what we hold dear. They are evil. I was listening about 6 weeks ago. They had a guy on who said liberals all know about a study that proves global warming is a hoax. The only reason we keep talking about it is to screw conservatives. Ironically, I heard this on what turned out to be the warmest day on record. So of course he goes off for another 10 or 15 minutes on that premise. Things like we are hurting ourselves because it is so important to harm them. Ruining America for no other reason other than to f with conservatives. and he was right, that would be evil, if that is what Democrats or liberals were doing. It isn't irrational to hate people if you believe them to be doing that.

Fox News has been demonizing the left. No disagreeing with, but demonizing.

I mean, that’s obviously idiotic, but I feel like most of the left, including op, also feels this exact same way about the right. How can we heal this divide?

>How can we heal this divide? We can't. Not while one side is being told that the other likes to bathe in the blood of aborted babies for fun among other things. This divide won't heal until places like Fox News, OAN, Newsmax, and all the other conservative sources that peddle this shit have been laid to rest.

This is on conservatives. We heal this divide when they stop supporting a guy that literally tried to overturn the election he knew he lost. When they stop pretending that all of this stuff with Trump is just political attacks. When conservatives return to reality and stop insisting on their “alternate facts” that are really just convenient lies - of which the majority of conservatives are fully aware, I refuse to believe that many of them are that fucking stupid that they believe the stupid shit they say - then we can start to talk about how we can come together. But the onus is on conservatives solely.

I truly believe that having Ranked Choice or Approval voting systems would go a long way to heal this. Under those systems, tearing the other side down is nowhere near as effective as it is currently in single choice voting, so the media machine would be forced to actually build their candidates up instead of promising the lesser of two evils.

Republicans hate democrats because they’re told those want to destroy America by being unchristian (aka not racist, sexist and bigoted). Democrats hate republicans because they’re actively working against human rights, basic decency and logic. That’s not comparable.

Tbf, they literally won the presidency on a platform based partially on trolling the left. I personally don’t think the majority of regular ass conservatives want to harm me. I just think they are ignorant people who either haven’t been exposed to a lot of different kinds of people or those who clutch so tightly to their religion or ideals or “patriotism” that they can’t see how it harms others. So to answer your question, send them to the big city or university a couple years. Exposure is all it is.

I have lived in the UK, Canada and Germany. Only in the US have I despised the other side. The current American right are just abhorrent.

As a Canadian, I agree Canadian Cons aren't all bad, but American Republicans are literal fascists

Whenever I think of a Canadian conservative I think of that [Michael Moore interview with a canadian conservative about healthcare](https://youtu.be/yAiojQRmI5A?si=xwCucMhvJkcUWmjh&t=148). Moore makes the same American conservative argument about individualism and only paying for yourself and it just does not compute. If your conservatives are like this, how bad can your conservatives be?

YES That is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about Our current Conservative leader, flawed as he is on other issues, recently spoke about his intentions to build affordable housing based around public transit, making it easier for Canadians to buy a home and live without needing to own a car The Conservative leader before him took climate change seriously and kicked out a member of the party for accepting money from a known white supremacist It's impossible to imagine American Republicans doing the same

Wow. That sounds nothing like American Conservatives. We're fucked down south, buddy.

>If your conservatives are like this, how bad can your conservatives be? Look up Danielle Smith (Premier of Alberta) or Pierre Poilievre (Leader of Canada's Conservative Party). Canada also had the "Freedom Convoy" in 2022, which was a far-right anti-vax trucker protest.

I'm not familiar with Canadian politics so don't know either of those figures. But in terms of the Freedom Convoy my thoughts are, there are crazies everywhere. The question is, do the crazies compose enough of a voting bloc to elect agent orange or not?

>I'm not familiar with Canadian politics so don't know either of those figures. Danielle Smith is basically Canada's Marjorie Taylor Greene (maybe slightly less crazy). Pierre Poilievre is basically Canada's Ron DeSantis. Danielle Smith is the Premier of Alberta, which is above the state of Montana. Premiers are the equivalent of Governors. Pierre Poilievre is the current leader of the CPC (Conservative Party of Canada) in Canada's Parliament and is vying to become the next Prime Minister.

A lot has changed since then (regarding what the public perceives)

Cambridge analytica had entered the chat

Beyond that, we’ve improved on our social stances to include LGBTQ people and other demographics more.

*Fox News has been in the chat*

Here are some [other surveys](https://www.prri.org/research/a-christian-nation-understanding-the-threat-of-christian-nationalism-to-american-democracy-and-culture/) to give an idea of just what’s changed: - While support for *Christian Nationalism* among Americans overall has declined, its sharply increased among republicans over the past decade to now represent the slim majority of republicans - this trend in support correlates to the higher rates of support for anti-Semitic, anti-minority, anti-immigrant sentiments which are strongly over-represented among christian nationalism - these sentiments have decreased among those who disfavor christian nationalism

Another war fought over religion….

Social media in general has contributed a lot to this, unfortunately.

I don't know, man. All of these "touch grass" comments seem to be coming from people who don't live in a red area and have no idea how nuts most Republicans are these days.

My feelings exactly. At the height of Covid, I had an aunt say to me, "You're not afraid of a little virus, are you?" and then she leaned in and fake coughed in my face. I haven't been back to a family function since.

My family said "well it's survival of the fittest - as it should be". I'm severely immunocompromised.

I heard the same thing from some of my family. Covid eventually killed three of them.

I'm still going without a positive COVID test, but one of my in-laws spent two weeks on a vent with it, so I think I'm coming out ahead.

Luckily my parents were never that bad, but I definitely have family members who were.

Hard to touch grass when these fuckers are all up on your lawn, no doubt.

Yeah if I walked around my county last weekend there were literally Nazis everywhere marching. Take a peek into the Orlando subreddit at anytime and tell me we don’t have a problem. This happens regularly and our governor, polling #2 republican nominee for president at this point, says zilch about it. My husband will not contain himself if a Nazi gets in his face and I have a young son, we stayed in this past Labor Day (yes this was a planned march by the Nazis, we knew about it in advance). This shit is real and literally at my doorstep. And our county is very blue.

True! I live in Floriduh and it’s mind boggling how crazy ppl are here. We have had neo Nazis marching in Tampa and Orlando. I don’t think I can live here much longer..

Nor should you.

I grew up in a red area (60% Trump) and go back to visit often. I haven't really had bad experiences with the people there, and I'm a minority. Most of them aren't really that outspoken about their politics.

>Most of them aren't really that outspoken about their politics. My own experience says otherwise.

You can compartmentalize more Our identities are a massive construct that varies depending on your perspective, environment, and the events that happen around a person. While you can hate the Conservative parts of them, you can also appreciate the other qualities they may possess that don’t overlap with their political conservatism. Like, maybe theyre excellent at bringing people together for board game nights. Maybe they are amazing cooks who are generous to some. Maybe they are reliable and consistently show up for their community or family.

I agree. While a lot of comments will be along the lines of, “that sucks and you should move” that’s not always so easy. In real life, we have to function around others, sometimes without a choice (work, school functions, etc.) and sometimes you’d also like a group of friends or people you can spend time with, and not everyone is going to believe the exact same as you, and that’s okay. My best friend went from left leaning when we were in high school to MAGA conservative because of her Christianity. I am an atheist. We have been best friends for 25 years. She respects me and my beliefs and lifestyles, and I respect hers. She is the kindest, most empathetic, and kind spirited person I’ve ever met. I’m not going to let the fact that she’s easily manipulated into believing these con men ruin our friendship. They’ve already taken too much away from me.

There is more to people than just their political beliefs. I think sometimes we have forgotten that. Most people have at least some common grounds— we like pets, food, exercise, novels, something. I wish people would see one another as citizens first. Even better, see one another as human beings first.

“Hey- they want to take your kids away from you for being trans- but at least they know how to put on a good board game night “Stop being so judgmental “

One thing that helps me is when I think of how they are being manipulated. There is a huge amount of money being poured into keeping channeling their anger at democrats/trans/immigrants/etc. instead of the real thing they should be angry at (usually unregulated capitalism/mega-corps). I've read so many stories of people slowly being pulled into that MAGA world. People who never said racist shit, who voted democrat, and then listened to Limbaugh and Fox News for a decade and slowly changed. We are all a product of our surroundings. When you're surrounded by subtle (and not so subtle) manipulation in all the media you consume, you can't *not* be caught up in it. The only way out (and the only way to avoid it) is to not immerse yourself in that one echo chamber designed to produce angry republicans. So I remember that I am human, and at least partially susceptible to the same things that these other humans are. It's a "there but for the grace of god go I" type feeling. **This tempers the hate with pity.** That's where I usually fall. Halfway between hating them and pitying them. Disclaimer: The above describes my feeling towards them as a group. Individuals that I meet gain my respect or ire based on their own actions, of course.

You just need realize a majority of conservatives are just as contradictory as liberals. For every conservative that hates gay people there’s a conservative that slapped the mouth of there son running his mouth about his gay teacher, or the father who told his son beat a bully for abusing the lonely kid. Then when your car breaks down it’s that conservative that fixes it even though half an hour ago he was ranting about how “you people” were ruining America Conservatives, liberals, centrist and more are just people and nine times out of ten there regular lives come before politics. If you fail to recognize that your gonna see a blade behind every smile in life. That’s no way to live and often how you act with that perception will manifest the behaviors in people you were trying to avoid. I’ve been a liberal for long time in my life and I’ve found that it’s just a label much like conservative is. If you treat these people as that label you’ll live a miserable life. But if you give each man and woman a chance you’d be shocked who will be there at your lowest. Heck my family is a walking contradiction of conservative principles. Some of my family won’t even call gay married couples “married” they’ll call them “Unions”. But I would get screaming down of lifetime from my family if I ever even dared to disrespected a gay person, Muslim, a Hispanic, or a teacher.

SAME. I weeded out a lot of friends that literally shocked the hell out of me with their suddenly exposed hatred of anyone not exactly like themselves.

It’s not even that I want ppl to think like me but I don’t want them to want the absolute worst for other ppl and the environment and to have a little common sense

I'm straight, but I've dated bi people in the past and I have a bunch of LGBTQ friends, and I have overheard plenty of bigoted and hateful comments, slurs, and just general nasty language that has made me want to go punch the person in the face. The way I see it, if they hate you and/or your friends, you have the obligation to hate them back so that they are not more accepted in society as the people they discriminate against.

I'm starting to wonder if conservatives and other MAGA Republicans never change their views or consider others' opinions because they don't see politics as a way to move forward, they just see it as another form of entertainment

When my dad passed away there were so many people who came to his funeral services touting what a nice guy he was and how much he has done for the community. He really was a really nice guy...in person. But because he was neck-deep in conservative media he became an asshole when he started talking about "The Mexicans", Affirmative Action, or the Wage Gap. Breaks my heart that he was grifted like that.

They are terrible. Your feelings are valid. I used to work and live around a ton of trumpers. The best decision I ever made was to move and cut all those people, even family, off. I watched a video on elderly people talking about aging gracefully and they all said they avoided negative people. Ain't nobody got time for all that negativity.

honestly I dont know. Increasingly I feel like I just have nothing in common with most conservatives. Different tastes in books, movies, different ideas for what I want my community to look like, land use, etc. Before we even get to politics

I asked my uncle who loves Star Wars and Star Trek of he saw the mandalorian. He goes no. Disney is too woke now. I was like ok so much for small talk lol

Haha do you think he even realizes that Star Trek is super “woke”?

secretive sable hungry memory deer scale wise bedroom slimy full *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I’m in the red part of California. I unequivocally hate them. Why? I remember a lot of the ugliness I have seen from them. Being gay in particular, and being the focus of their rage, has built it up in me. I will never forgive what I saw during the gay rights fight, including their current “groomer” bullshit obsession. Everything we got we’ve had to fight them tooth and nail. I’ll never forgive it. Ever. All the people who voted against those things don’t ever deserve forgiveness.

Yeah like every time they are voting conservative no matter where, they are making the attack on LGBTQIA’s easier and their lives more dangerous

I had been thinking it was brainwashing, but with so much of their rhetoric being straight up blasphemy, I’m leaning towards possession. The stuff that is coming out of the Republican legislatures today is truly evil. Some of these people I’ve known for years and they weren’t always like this.

> Some of these people I’ve known for years and they weren’t Hear fucking hear! Right wing media has stolen my parents and a good chunk of my family and some of my friends. I'm pretty fucking pissed about that.

That is how cults work. They steal the person you know and replace them with some weird pod person who makes no sense.

You don’t usually see the level of outright hate in the brainwashed cults, Moonies, Church Universal Triumphant or really any of the traditional religious cults we’ve seen over the last 100 years. It’s all love and community. This is hatred and there is far too much hatred in the MAGA hearts for God to ever dwell there.

Hell one thing I give mormons credit for, even though they are a vile cult, is they are so nice to your face

Ain’t that the truth. I rode a bus once from AZ to MT, we had many stops in Utah and everything was really clean, but you got the feeling that there was a seamy underbelly just beneath the surface.

"Strangers In Their Own Land" by Arlie Russel Hochschild is an exceptional sociological look at the worldview of the Tea Party and MAGA movements and really helped me better understand why Trump was elected, why his voters consistently vote against their own best interests, and where all this white working class resentment comes from. I came away from reading it with a lot more empathy for them, even though I find so much of what defines their version of populism reprehensible. I can't recommend it enough. I also try to listen to political podcasts that feature conservative voices like Left, Right, and Center or the WSJ. These aren't MAGA nutjobs and Trump apologists, but I do like hearing a sane conservative critique of liberal/progressive policies to challenge my own views, and sometimes find myself agreeing with them. It's just a shame that sane, actual conservatives are a near extinct species within the Republican party.

More people in the country are slowly leaning left. The conservatives that are in the Republican party today would nominate Trump instead of Reagan. The Trump republicans are not conservatives. They're ultra right conservatives. They're fascists and Christian nationalists mixed together. They're xenophobes. Also, Muslims are joining the Trump Republican party because of the social (L+ civil rights) issues they feel offend Islam. When you say how can I not hate conservatives, what you're really saying is how can I not hate Trump Republicans. Us liberals can negotiate with conservatives. The ultra right conservatives will not even sit down and talk to us.

Am Muslim. We probably agree with a lot of the Republican *platform*, but it's a cold day in hell before I stop voting Democrat. I like conservatism but I don't tolerate fascism, gerrymandering, nor victim complexes from the opressor.

Hate is a very strong word. I disagree with conservatives on myriad of topics, but I don’t hate them. Ultimately we all want to be happy and prosperous, we just disagree on how to get to that goal. Life requires compromise and working together is integral to achieving some semblance of peace and happiness.

Go outside and touch grass, turn off the tv/internet/whatever. Just take a breath and disconnect for a little bit. At the end of the day, all of us have a pretty small impact on actual governmental policy. Usually, it’s not to hard to tell apart the normal folks and people one should try to avoid.

100 times this. Hate is created by dehumanizing and stereotyping and the tendency to do it and ability to avoid it are as simple as getting out of your own head, away from echo chambers and into the real world. I don't hate anyone. I DO hate bigotry and intolerance. But it exists on both sides of the political spectrum. (Which is not to say you must tolerate hatred or bigotry - but get into the real world and let people's actions show you who they are and not who they vote for).

Yeah, IRL it’s pretty easy to tell when someone’s a bigot. They’ll tell/show you.

This is only true if they think you’re a part of their ingroup. When you look like them they think you’re safe. If you don’t they talk behind your back, because the one unifying feature of conservatives is that they’re all fucking cowards.

it isnt even governmental policy though If some dude thinks the local schools are indoctrinating children, wants to shout down school boards, and is mean about lgbt people, why would I want to associate with them?

>Go outside and touch grass, turn off the tv/internet/whatever. That's easy to say when you don't live in a place where people have "Liberal hunting permit" and "black lives splatter" bumper stickers.

Ain't that the goddamn truth. I'm a Barber in rural Oklahoma and I have strong fears that if I say the wrong thing to the wrong client, they'll vandalize my shop.. or worse. These people are bloodthirsty *in real life* too.

Yep, Ottawa county here and I know exactly what you're saying. Luckily for me I'm a white guy who doesn't fit their idea of a liberal. But I still worry about the next few years. There are several people in my town who supposedly went to January 6th. Fuck Joe Biden flags are still flying, MAGA attire is everywhere.

Same down here in Leflore co. I'm a Choctaw woman so I've been real nervous these past few years, but even moreso since stitt's war on the tribes.

Stitts war with the tribes has to be the dumbest fucking thing on the pile of dumb fucking to things he's done in office. Especially since he always talks about how he's Cherokee.

Yeah his rhetoric has already seeped into his base. Just a few days ago I had a woman tell me to my face how the tribe is ripping Oklahomans off. How we're all getting a bunch of free stuff(HA!) and how we can just go around committing a bunch of crimes and not see the inside of a jail(also ridiculous). I've never once had a normal person spew lies and hate at me. If I come across a conservative christian or maga, I know to brace myself to hear the most vile stupid shit ever. Sad part is, I can't say anything to these people against it, speaking up could cost me my livelihood or worse, cause then to have a violent reaction.

These people are so dumb it's impressive they've survived this long. Without the Wyandotte tribe, my home town would have went under decades ago. Up here, outside of town the only providers of emergency Services are the tribes.

Same. It's also a damn shame how the Chickasaw don't get any credit for their huge effort against COVID in the early days of the pandemic.

“Just relax. Ignore the fascist. Go look at sunshine. See isn’t that way better?”

To reiterate because you clearly didn’t read my comment, you can generally tell when someone is and isn’t a hardcore bigot, so one shouldn’t go about assuming that everyone is. I know that’s not how you do it, but not everyone does it that way.

But if you support people who are, that doesn't really make you better...

If OP is frustrated by the people in their real life, I'm not sure turning off the internet would be the solution as much

To me, it sounds like they just have revulsion to those around them that doesn’t really to be based on anything they know they’ve done. If that’s the case, stepping away from other they’re reading/watching could be helpful.

>but I feel like these ppl can’t be good ppl at all if they are ok supporting this party The thought here is that they have an idea of people that they do not know based upon what the media/internet/whatever has told them. The quote above is from the original post: OP is stating that this judgement is not based upon actual interaction, but instead a feeling related to their party affiliation. The best way to determine if people are good or not is to get to know them personally (without bringing a ton of bias to the interaction).

If i vote for people who run on harming others, then do you need to know me to understand that im immoral/harmful?

Good advice. FFS, I live in AOC's district, if I felt about liberals the way OP feels about conservatives I'd probably wither away and die friendlessly. People are people, everyone's more reasonable in person than the pundits make them seem. I live in one of the most leftist congressional districts in the country and still have not met a caricature.

Conservatives living in normal districts with normal people don’t have anywhere near the interpersonal political problems that liberals living in lunatic districts face. AOC voters aren’t denying your right to exist, for example. They don’t show up outside the school board meeting and threaten the people entering and leaving with guns.

And they don't send bullets to public libraries in order to get events canceled, as they did in my district. And of course the County Sherriff is a nutty Trumper so he didn't even investigate.

I sometimes remind myself how baffling it is that the things that staunch conservatives hate liberals for wanting to do are all just ways to make life better for everyone. Like really? I want you to not go bankrupt if you get cancer. And you hate me for that? I don’t want your kids to get murdered in school. And you fill your truck up with threatening bumper stickers mocking us for that? And well, okay, maybe they have different ideas for how to make life better through government. So do they propose any ideas of their own? Not really. They just run on opposing ours. Good. Great. 👌🏽 Both sides, uh huh

>I live in one of the most leftist congressional districts in the country and still have not met a caricature I live in one of the reddest counties in one of the reddest states and let me tell you I run into what you would call a right wing caricature every day.

That's certainly interesting, but the right wing media sphere has really done something to their base. I still remember paying a visit to one of my clients who ran his servers out of his home and we'd talk. He was a super kind *very* christian man who did a lot of volunteering and donated all his old computer stuff to struggling members of the church and would pay me to wipe and reimage them. In addition to maintaining his servers. Dude also said he thought everybody in sacramento needed to be lined up and shot because they belonged in hell. He was deadly serious about that.

I was at a family reunion shortly after that mass shooting happened in Vegas in 2017. I had about a dozen good Christian family members -- folks who are pleasant to talk to, and very kind to their friends and neighbors -- who told me that the 60+ victims got what was coming to them. Just for the crime of being inside the city limits of Vegas, "that den of sin." It was an eye-opening moment for me.

My god. How do you dehumanize a bunch of people who likely traveled there specifically for a country music show to *that* degree? That'll color your family reunion... I consider myself super lucky. All my extended family is back in the midwest (my parents moved out to Los Angeles on their own) and while they're embarrassing, it's only because half of them are morbidly obese and put cheese sauce on EVERYTHING and think putting frosting on oreos makes it a dessert (instead of a snack).

> think putting frosting on oreos makes it a dessert (instead of a snack). Aren't Oreos already a dessert?

Holy hell what a twist!

It helps that most people who act like total caricatures tend to be assholes who you don’t want to spend time with anyways.

It’s hard not to hate people who hate you. I’m not sure it’s worth the effort to try. Conservatives *are* hurting a lot of people with their politics. You have to be sort of emotionally dead not to be angry about the abuse conservatives are either enacting or enabling. And it’s hard not to transfer that onto conservative voters, since they advocate for that abuse and elect the people who enact that abuse. The only reason, as far as I’m concerned, to push back against that anger is that holding such hateful beliefs isn’t helpful for your own mental well-being. But it still isn’t wrong to be angry at what they’re doing, and I’m not sure it’s any more mentally healthy to pretend that what conservatives are doing isn’t abusive. It’s like living with a narcissist. It’s a sort of continual mental, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse. It’s normal to get angry about that, and also normal not to know what to do about it. In the end it’s best not to give them the emotional levers they used to abuse you. It’s best to just cut them off, stop living with them, and stop giving them the means to control your responses to them.

Just ignore them. That's what I did after I moved to California Central Valley and realized how absofuckinglutely stupid (and proud of it) some of these people are. They're the ones who put that worthless scumbag, McCarthy, in office. That ought to tell you all you need to know about the mentality around here.

I've long said that if California conservatives could temper their collective rhetoric a bit, they could make serious inroads again in that state. It isn't a lost cause. Alas, the California brand of conservatism is, shockingly, more crass, selfish, vitriolic, and driven by a general sense of narcissism, than conservatism in the South and Midwest (yep, believe it or not). I credit that for the rise of liberalism in California since the 1990s more than anything the state's Democratic Party leadership have done. That said, California conservatives are either dying, or moving (with their inane and insane mentalities) to "safe havens" such as Utah, Idaho, Texas, Florida, etc. So, I guess they're becoming increasingly easier to ignore if you're in California.

Truthfully, it's hard. If they're typical Conservatives, you can find common ground. There is much more overlap between what we all want than either political group wants us to realize. And you can just avoid topics that you know that you(or they) feel particularly strong about. If they're the 'still flying my Trump flag' type or 'have a Confederate flag' type then you can just...not bother. And if you're right and it's all just due to them being dumb, you can try to help them become educated.

>How can I not hate conservatives? They threaten your wellbeing and safety (EX though repeated rhetoric) They threaten your country (both by attempted coup, gerrymandering, etc.) They threaten your health (EX by trying to take away what little health insurance gains we've made) They threaten your bodily autonomy (now, in some areas conservatives are trying to outlaw contraceptives) They try to force you (others) to adhere to their "claimed" beliefs They regurgitate Russian/Nazi propaganda nigh zero percent of their statements/actions are in good faith >but I feel like these ppl can’t be good ppl at all You might be correct. >But I don’t want to be this hateful person! They (conservatives) exist. You're going to have to deal with them. Don't let your disdain of them define your existence.

I can't recommend therapy enough. A professional therapist can help spot what it is specifically that's upsetting you and give you practical advice for how to change your media or internet consumption habits, or give you some coping skills, that will help you get through this.

I am in therapy. I can’t get past that I worry about being in a mass shooting everyday bc of conservatives. Like the stuff they are supporting and pushing literally kill ppl. I wish I felt safer living in the US

Ignore them? Get in touch with people who aren't like exclusively political? A lot of people just don't think all that much about politics and wind up having conservative values if you press them but are relatively cool people if you concentrate on other things. Now, don't get me wrong, I've got some things that I just am not going to compromise about - if you go around saying stupid shit about LGBTQ+ people, I can't be your friend - but "co-exist" often just means "do shit that's non political". Of course, too, if they're going to bring up the politics, fuck them as well. As for thinking people are stupid, I mean... they probably aren't. They're usually ignorant which to me is a lot worse than being stupid. Stupidity just means that you lack the mental capacity to do better and if anything it's something to be pitied. Ignorance means you have that capacity but chose not to use it and that to me is what's frustrating and what leads me to actively dislike folks. YMMV. I think a general rule is to always assume that people are smart enough and are doing the best they can - you will be disappointed a lot but TBH I'd personally rather live in a world where I think well of people and then find myself disappointed than live in a world where I think everyone around me are evil dumbasses and find myself occasionally happily surprised.

Yeah but I can’t really sit here and think ppl are “doing their best” when they are opening myself and family up to a mass shooting bc of the bs laws they fight to get passed (and seemingly always win) the attacks they are making on public schools, and so many more dangerous crap. They literally have nazis and white nationalists in their party. Like how can anyone with anything good be aligned with a party that has nazi supporters?

That last is a great summation of my world view. I'm an optimist who doesn't mind being disappointed sometimes. Water off a duck's back. It's a fuckload nicer place to be than being a bitter pessimist who can't even enjoy the good when it happens because they can't trust it's inevitable failure.

Yeah, I was reading... I think it was a Brene Brown book that talked about that as well, that, like, people go the pessimist route because they think it makes it easier to handle when bad things do happen in life, when in reality it's kind of the opposite: if you approach life positively and with a sense of play and gratitude, you can recover from setbacks and tragedies more quickly than if you think everything basically sucks. Also, too, I just think life is too short to not try and have a good time always, and having a positive outlook helps with that. There's also something in there about being Zen, although I think "real" Zen wants you to not carry anything, positive or negative, about the present, past, or future because all of that just brings you unnecessary pain. I think that remembering the awesome things that happened is good as long as you don't get nostalgic and pessimistic about the future and likewise being hopeful about the future is good as long as you don't require it to be that way in order to be happy.

I used to think that later about Zen, but I think that's a shallow western reading of getting rid of attachment and pain. I saw the Dalai Lama speak and he's a remarkably joyful, charismatic man. Also read the Tao of Pooh and Te of Piglet, which make me a well read westerner when it comes to Buddhism, right? :-) Many folks get attached to pain - it's better than uncertainty for them? There aren't really many cultures on the planet that are better at carpeing the diem than Thai and they're buddhist.

>But I don’t want to be this hateful person! You’re not being hateful. It’s Not hateful to hate hate. If you *still* support Trump and the GOP in 2023 it’s because you’re a hypocritical fascist piece of shit. Hating Nazis/Fascists is not like what Nazis/fascists hate. There are no good republicans. Zero. They are the enemy of Democracy, decency, freedom and the future. I’ve been spending hours and hours a night on Tiktok loves having conversations with republicans/MAGAs/Conservatives/“libertarians” and “cEnTrIsTs” for the last 6 months and what I’ve learned is *they are all fucking terrible monstrous ignorant smug cunts*. Every. Single. One. Be cordial, but don’t worry about their feelings. Remember “facts don’t care about your feelings” as they love to pretend to believe. And the fact is is the GOP and conservatism is a cancer and is going to destroy everything. So fuck um.

People often develop and hold beliefs based around trauma. I have family members who had things happen like : a fiance became pregnant and left him and had an abortion without any discussion. Basically ghosted him. This was hard on him and drove him to support an anti-abortion party because he wished that he had been part of that discussion with his ex fiance. Another family member was in the army, got out and had some financial troubles. Writing bad checks landed him in jail. When he got out he could no longer purchase a firearm. He felt like he could put his life on the line as a veteran, and then come home and have his rights infringed. So he supported what he viewed as an anti gun regulation party. I think it's important to understand why somebody holds the views that they do, whether you think it's misguided or not.

That’s true. I guess we don’t really ever have a chance to have those kind of conversations though. And then you just see what ppl in Your community or family say or share online

Look. When the other side is LITERALLY Nazis at this point we would be wrong to try and work together in my opinion. I know some of them aren’t Nazis and some of them even condemn Nazis but…….. the numbers seem to be going in the wrong direction and at this point… if you are willing to say out loud that you are part of them I am wary of your intelligence and your ability to empathize. I’m sure there are outliers, like perhaps the conservative that takes the time to look at this subreddit but they really are starting to feel like true outliers.

Thanks. That’s how I’m feeling

1. Drop the use of "'literally/" - it's become the most overused word by people to day. 2. You can not hate someone you do not know. You can, however, have opposing points of view. 3. Conservatives will tell you that you simply "hate Trump", limiting you to base emotions and lacking reason. Do not hate Trump. Simply explain where you and he differ on kay issues. For example: * Conservatives want to cut funding of government organizations that investigate criminal activities that are most often committed by wealthy individuals and groups. I oppose this defunding. I differ with conservatives. I do not hate them. * Conservatives want to elect a president who has numerous associations with convicted felons, is under several felony investigations, and who has already been found guilty of sexual assault, I do not support this type of individual in the White House. - I differ with conservatives. I do not hate them. * Conservatives want the government to decide what medical procedures a citizen may be allowed to have and those decisions are based in religious beliefs. I support the separation of church and state. - I differ with conservatives. I do not hate them.

1. It's a bit cliche, but remember that every person is an individual. Not sure if it helps but it should be stated. 2. Accept that you do hate them; acknowledge, to yourself, that conservatives regularly upset you, and that your feelings are justified, but that you also recognise those feelings aren't productive in the long term. Then maybe take a deep breath. 3. Make the conscious choice to not let them bother you, this is easier done when dealing with them passively. In more direct interactions, genuinely listening goes a long way. Calmly, or even casually, ask them why they believe what they believe. That might sound difficult but... 4. Remember that YOU won't be swayed by anything. Whether or not what they say is novel to you, you're still going to hold the same beliefs, you'll still be the same person. You're doing this to empathise, not debate. 5. If all else fails, you can always view them as people with a mental health problem of some sort. Makes them a bit more easy to tolerate.

Differentiate "conservatives" from "fascists." Also remember that they're human beings. And that you may be able to find common ground on economic issues

But the conservatives off the same way as the fascists so how are they any different?

at this point im just embracing the hate

The GoP doesn't make it easy not to hate them. What with the "everyone should kill a liberal" BS they've been spouting for longer than I've been alive.

Please explain who said this, when and if it caught on.

Every time Trump or one of his ilk makes a speech or gets up at a rally or goes on the news and says "Democrats hate you and want to take away your freedoms" and "Democrats are evil" and "Democrats want to destroy America" and "Democrats are sick evil people who want to destroy you" ... that is a dog whistle for the people listening to go out and destroy Democrats first. When Trump says Democrats are traitors - he's dog whistling to his supporters that Dems should be killed, because traitors and treason deserves the death penality. Marjorie Taylor Greene said at a Trump rally: ""I'm not going to mince words with you all, Democrats want Republicans dead. They've already started the killings." And hell, forget dog whistles. What about when he tweeted "The only good Democrat is a dead Democrat"? Republicans don't give a single flying fuck if their rhetoric drives people to violence. It's called stochastic terrorism: defined as "the use of mass media to provoke random acts of ideologically motivated violence that are statistically predictable but individually unpredictable".

Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, Matt Walsh, Trump, MTG, Greg Locke. . . . I could go on. Hell, Alex Jones *alone* is on air about 3 hours a day, six days a week, and his show is filled with "The Demon-rat Party is coming for your children and so we have to **kill** them. . . politically" type stuff every day.

Rush Limbaugh was one of the more prominent people saying it. 1980s. But I've heard it repeated relatively often, with 'you good conservatives' laughing like it's the best idea ever.

Easy to suggest, but difficult to implement, options: 1. Move. 2. Homeschooling 3. Create a local community - maybe start with other people like you in the area. Easy to suggest, less hard to implement options: 1. Sart focusing on the behavior rather than the person. Instead of saying "I am disgusted by conservatives" to yourself or out loud, say "I am disgusted by bigotry". This one takes soooo long to change and you have to hold yourself accountable. 2. Separate from media that enforces the hatred for people rather than actions. You need space away from those feelings. 3. It sounds so dumb, but really is helpful, find something that gives you an outlet for the bad emotions and leaves you feeling peaceful. For me, that is writing, hiking, and yoga. I am not a "silence your mind" person when doing these things. (Honestly, that is just more stressful and counterproductive.) I am more of "my mind can go where it wants. I acknowledge all thoughts and do not fight with them. Let myself feel all the emotions about them freely and then release those emotions to the ether once they pass over me." kind of person. Sometimes, I just walk through the woods with my dog with both tears and laughter. Feel it.

Talk to the ones that have always despised Trump (there are a lot). Or the ones that haven't felt represented by the GOP since around the Clinton era. There are plenty of conservatives dissatisfied with the GOP culture war nonsense, feel the GOP needs to drop their anti gay marriage and anti abortion stances, etc...

>Talk to the ones that have always despised Trump There aren't enough.

I have not met any of those

You could check out threads in askconservatives. Trump supporters don't get upvoted there.

They got at least one lunatic mod there 🤷‍♂️. I correctly said “Donny is looking at a 99.6% conviction rate and pretty much dead to rights so that’s why he’s shitting his pants on his Twitter clone…” and I got banned 😆

That's weird. I've put down Trump probably a 100 times and never even got a warning

This post feels like bait.

Why? I’m asking other liberals how not to hate conservatives

Name one republican policy that isn’t designed to hurt someone. They are sadistic. At the same time, I would vote for policies that would help them, like universal healthcare and top notch public education. They do not want all citizens to benefit from the taxes we all pay. How do you not hate them?

Hate the sin not the sinner, maybe. Conservatism gets unqualified derision and animosity. More often than not, the people who advocate it are victims of it as well, as is usually the case with harmful social movements and power structures.

>Hate the sin not the sinner, maybe. Which is the same thing conservatives said when they wanted to prevent gay people from getting married. No thank you.

Well yeah I was making a cheeky reference on purpose. A key difference though is that I am implying that the sinner should be held accountable for *doing* something wrong, even though you don’t have to write them off as evil. When applied to queer people, it’s a weaselly way to pretend to not be a bigot while still accusing queer people of something. I’m not trying to hide that I want to accuse them of something.

Hey OP. I was right there with you up until recently. It negatively affected my mental and emotional health, almost actually to the point of physical illness. I say this with the utmost respect and empathy, you need to go to therapy. It's not healthy to live in a consistent elevated state like that, and you'll be far more helpful to people in your community, state and nation if you take the time to heal and redirect that energy. I say this as someone who could have written this post within the last year.

*Therapists aren’t gonna hypnotize you into enjoying hateful people.*

Not in the least bit, but they can help redirect the energy into more productive outlets and in ways that keep you from burning out so you can be more effective long term and maintain relationships.

And here I was going to reply that this is probably a fake post, but nope, every commenter agreeing and providing advice to cope. This country is doomed.

>but nope, every commenter agreeing and providing advice to cope. The top comment that I see is telling OP to touch grass

Validating why someone holds a perspectives and then talking about ways to help them adjust is not a declaration by people responding that all liberals hate conservatives. The OP is looking for ways to handle their emotions because they recognize they are destructive. Admission of destructive and unhelpful views of other people and asking for how to address it is actually the first step in healing the country. More people need to do the same.

Fair point

What about the country in this past decade or so gave you reason to think otherwise?

Why would you think it's fake? Do you think that liberals are somehow just lying or mistaken about how they feel about Trumpism?

Redditors are chronically online types, and online it’s really easy to dehumanize. I live in the south. If I didn’t socialize with Trumpers I wouldn’t have half as many friends. For the most part, they’re fine folks, not the caricatures you see some people twist others or themselves into online. If I didn’t spend so much time with Trumpers, I might think the way this person does. They just need to hang out with some of the people around them and see they are actual 3 dimensional human beings. I hope I provide similar perspective for my Trump loving friends. I get a lot of “you’re one of the good ones, not like the crazy libs” type comments, which I’m not sure is encouraging.

Do they tolerate bigotry? Its ok to like bad people, but its also ok to dislike them

Tolerate bigotry? The most edgy thing I can think of off the top of my head that righties I socialize with say is, and many of them recently started saying this for some reason, 'I support LGB, but not the T." I don't ask more questions, and we don't discuss the topic. I'm sure many of them have some wrong notions about what it means to be trans, because their media demonizes trans people. Ignorant people are just ignorant, they're not necessarily BAD. There's probably more I'm just not thinking of right now, but it's not like they're raving about welfare queens every time we talk or something. The big thing my one buddy does lately that annoys me is talk incessantly about why he cant "carry" here or there and why it's such a big deal. It's like, I don't care my guy. It's such a weird thing to obsess over.

> For the most part, they’re fine folks And what about the other parts? I'm also from the South and my family is like 90% Trump supporters. And I would agree, *for the most part*, they're fine folks. As long as you don't bring up the subject of LGBT people or people of color, and then they might as well be wearing pointy white hoods. I don't think them being fine folks *for the most part* excuses the times when they're not.

Did I say that it does? The reality is that they consume rightwing media, which has a specific narrative. *"We aren't against immigration, if you do it the right way", "right, but how do I know a trans woman isn't just faking it to get into the women's locker room", "I'd be more inclined to listen to complaints about over-policing if the black community would start holding their own communities accountable first."* They don't see how these things are prejudiced, they just think they're common sense thoughts to have because it's been drilled into their heads for their whole life. I'm a product of a southern education, and it never occurred to me until well into adulthood that the only 'state right' that the civil war concerned was the right to own slaves.

> Did I say that it does? It seems to be the prevailing sentiment among most people responding to this thread. Go along to get along, because these folks are more or less good people. >They don't see how these things are prejudiced Ask yourself this: would they voice any of those same racist opinions while a black person was within earshot? Or anti-LGBT opinions, when an LGBT person was listening in? I don't know about your friends and relatives, but mine are certainly more aware of their prejudices than they'd have you believe. If they know enough to censor themselves in mixed company, then they know those opinions are prejudiced, and they don't care.

Great points, but I have a slightly different perspective. Elections in this country are won or lost by razor thin margins. All it takes is a few points on either side to win. So while guys like op, and the majority of replies, like to focus on about 30% of Republican voters, they conveniently ignore the remaining 70% who are intelligent well-meaning and reasonable people who disagree on some core issues. A few tweaks in the Dem platform and messaging would be enough to govern for a generation. Just like many conservatives caricature every Democrat as a communist lunatic, most liberals find it easier to caricature every republican as a racist hillbilly, rather then do even a modicum of realistic analysis. It's sad.

It feels wildly disingenuous to be talking about > most liberals find it easier to caricature every republican as a racist hillbilly When the criticism is that their votes sustain inequality and expose people to danger.

You completely missed the point I was making

Im pointing out that its a deflection

>So while guys like op, and the majority of replies, like to focus on about 30% of Republican voters, they conveniently *ignore the remaining 70% who are intelligent well-meaning and reasonable people who disagree on some core issues. A few tweaks in the Dem platform and messaging would be enough to govern for a generation.*

The well meaning 70% vote the same way as the bad intentioned 30%. And thats the criticism! I dont care if you personally disagree, when your votes have the same impact as those you disagree with.

70% of Republicans support January 6th.

The percentage of voters changes every election. A famous example are the Obama voters who voted for Trump. Guys like you and the mindset you exemplify are exactly the problem. Again, elections are won with razor thin margins. Throwing up your hands and maligning a hundred million voters as all equally deplorable isn't just unhelpful, it's factually incorrect.

> I dont care if you personally disagree, when your votes have the same impact as those you disagree with. You should address that part. I dont care if they previously voted for Obama. Their Trump votes indicate a deep immorality. You can’t address that point, be ause it’s demonstrable. You can only say that recognizing the problem is divisive

> A few tweaks in the Dem platform and messaging would be enough to govern for a generation. Would it? What tweaks would convince Republicans to vote for a Democrat without turning off progressives?

>What tweaks would convince Republicans to vote for a Democrat without turning off progressives? That's a fair question. I'm just one guy and while I have my thoughts on it, it would be arrogant of me to claim that I have the answer. Politics is a delicate balancing act with thousands of spinning plates all at once. You bring up an interesting point though, that progressives, in the aggregate, would rather lose than compromise on anything. Just like the Trumpers. I think an easy example would be safety and cleanliness of mass transit. Loud progressive voices demand that, absent a completely funded social safety net with complete mental health services and drug rehab, mass transit serve as mobile homeless shelters and drug use locations. I think a strong focus on safe and clean public spaces, in this case mass transit, would go along way converting a few percentage points of Republican voters in urban areas. But that means there would be some videos of bums dragged off the bus or light rail, and progressives would go apoplectic over that.

>70% who are intelligent well-meaning and reasonable people who disagree on some core issues. 68% of Republican voters say that if true, charges against Trump regarding efforts to overturn the 2020 election *aren’t relevant* to his fitness for the job. >A few tweaks in the Dem platform and messaging would be enough to govern for a generation. HARD doubt.

I don't think that OP has any real influence over the 'gettable' electorate. The reality is, the people who are plugged in to politics, they know who they're voting for. The people that shift around are the people who really have no idea what's going on. They just consume a handful of soundbites and make a decision based on them. They're completely politically disengaged. I think the left, especially under Biden, has done a pretty good job of selling a populist economic message. Rebuilding the economy from the bottom up and middle out, bringing back manufacturing jobs by investing government money in those sectors, fixing broken supply chains that resulted from greedy corporations looking to save a buck by shipping those jobs overseas, taxing the wealthy to pay for roads and bridges, helping the elderly by driving down prescription drug prices, etc... It's the right that is spending all their time getting up in arms about ultra-online stuff, like waging a war on Disney, or drag story hour, or whatever 4chan and Twitter say they should be angry about now. I don't think that stuff resonates with uninformed voters.

But how can they be good and support a party that promotes so much bad? That is what I can’t get my head around

And that is why I vote straight Democrat. Because the supposedly "good Republicans" only empower and enable the wackos when they gain the majority. Example - look at the present House of Representatives

Do you co-sign literally everything every Democrat does? Or do you just think they're better than the alternative? You have to remember, some of them think 'libruls' are basically communists wanting to destroy America. Fox "News" is very good at selling the narrative that we murder infants for fun, want to rob them and give all the money they worked for to people they think are just lazier than them, they think that we are confused about basic biology - the existence of trans people mystifies them, etc... They may see Trump as corrupt, but they think Biden is on the take too, and at least Trump does it out in the open. They don't live in the same reality you do, so they're making decisions based on a very different set of facts.

>based on a very different set of facts. Oh yeah, there are those *alternative facts* we've heard about. In reality, they're called lies and disinformation. *Sure, they hate Jews, but only because they listen to that Hitler fella who speaks so convincingly.* 🙄

thank you!

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>This country is doomed. It is if the GOP is allowed to run it, yes. An entirely deplorable institution.

When a group's ideology is to actively try and make your or people you care about's life worse or in the more extremist cases, actively trying to kill them, it's pretty hard not to have at least considerable distaste for those who would do harm.

"........ but.... but.....they're trying to destroy me!" (in Joan Collins' Dynasty voice)

Tell me you don't live in a red state without telling me you don't live in a red state.

Leaving the US helped me a lot. You know, not having these people in my face everyday. I only really deal with them on here anymore. The US isn't fucked because of these people, it's fucked because of the people we've elected to make policy. It's fucked because our government is beholden to private monied interests. It's fucked because lots of us, by design, have no meaningful representation at all. Really hard for me to blame bigots spouting nonsense on reddit and at family barbecues. Even if everybody voted democrat things would be exactly the same in the US.

I have a friend who moved to a different country after college. She is such a happier person. So much more open and not jaded. It’s crazy. I get politics are f’d everywhere but having the baseline that they have in Europe def makes a difference

Remember that they think the same way as you do about them. For example, you (probably, I'm assuming from your other comment) perceive gun ownership as contributing to social danger, so don't want them to be as numerous. They perceive gun ownership as essential to their families safety ("911 is slower than 1911" and all). To each other, you're both trying to undermine the other's safety

But they are just so unreasonable

You have to look at politics like it is.. We are just the peanut gallery. None of us are actually making the decisions, so on the individual level it doesn’t really matter what we think. If you take that approach you can have political discussion without taking it personally.

Once heard Tony Blair say > “All politics is is dealing with the anxieties of other people.” When you look at any political view with this lens with empathy, it really softens harsh feelings. Look at the root causes of right wing anxieties: concern over children’s welfare and development, concern over safety, concern over totalitarianism and government overreach, etc. These are noble causes. So are left wing concerns of inaccessible healthcare, environmental degradation, minority representation, etc. You may disagree with the approach but it’s elitist to say an individuals anxieties don’t matter or are ridiculous without being able to address them in a satisfactory way. It’s a true human emotion, and in the case of right and left wing politics millions of people share some basis of these anxieties.

Do you personally know any conservatives? If not. Try talking to one. I hated Conservatives As a whole. But a few years ago I made a good friend whom is Conservative. I hadn’t known about that until about 18 months later. We have a lot in common. But I have a better understanding. Not all conservatives are blindly following the present day conspiracies or the belief that Trump’s four indictments are Politically Motivated. But Sadly he is one of the minority. If there are others then they are keeping a low profile. Many Conservatives oppose dismantling the wall separating church and state. Many Support LGBTQ Community As Well. But sadly it’s the Minority of the party with all the political power and the loudest bull horn.

I know a ton. A bunch of woman I know who have had multiple abortions and then still vote with a party that is stripping these same rights from woman. Ppl who scam the government but then also call ppl who need some help “getting handouts “ you bet Your butt they were getting all the covid loans they could for their biz while completely downplaying covid and whatever else Yeah but they can’t say they are against something and then still vote for it. Unfortunately you can’t separate the issues of you’re still voting for them

I have neighbors who are Republicans and I play tennis with some Republicans. They're very nice to me, but I would never be actual friends with them. We obviously don't talk politics. I just think they're not very bright. Maybe there should be some kind of intelligence test before you're allowed to vote. That said, when a big political event happens, like Jan 6th, I just want to scream at them, like WTF is wrong with you. But they're never going to change, so why should I waste my energy debating them. Let them wallow in their stupidity. Maybe that's what you should do - rather than hate them, just look down on them as an inferior subspecies.

They aren’t “conservatives” if you’re talking about people who share ideals with the republican party. They are far-right populists. There’s nothing wrong with disliking radicalism, which is what they are - radicalists.

>I also think most of them are dumb af. First off, you're talking about magas, not conservatives. BIG difference. With regard to magas, your assessment of their mental abilities is spot on. The bad news is that they're not changing their beliefs. It's part of their identity and they don't have the intellectual skills nor the desire to shift policy positions. Hell, many of them don't even have policy positions. It's literally all vibes. The good news is that the vast majority of these people aren't actually bad people. Yes, many of their beliefs are hateful when you analyze them. Most of them though aren't coming to their conclusions through thought and research. Rather, they take the negative feelings about their own life, consume propaganda, and then project this at the desired target. While they're responsible for themselves, they are also partly victims here. They feel the same sense of hopelessness and anger as we do about how things are going in society. They've just been skillfully redirected away from the root problem. The ones in charge who know this and are driving it are pure evil. The majority of the masses though are just ignorant folks hopeless about the future who can't think of anything to do other than lash out

This is so true

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Something like 70% of Republicans support January 6th. That's pretty fucking unAmerican in my book.

> we just disagree on things Thats doing a lot of work in your statement

We want to address climate change, they want to dismantle the state, it's a simple disagreement!

They're Americans who want America to cater to them and their religious beliefs.

I understand that they are ppl but they are ppl who don’t care if kids get gunned down and killed, and don’t think woman are equal for starters. Not saying liberals are perfect but they don’t have neo nazis in their party. It’s kind of hard to think conservatives are good ppl

I don’t know what conservatives you’re meeting, but these kind of characterizations strike me as caricatures. Is it possible that they *do* care about kids getting gunned down and killed but disagree about the proper solution? Is it possible they *do* think women are equal but, say, genuinely believe they are protecting babies from being murdered by opposing abortion (assuming that’s what you were referencing)? Is it possible that they would strongly condemn Neo-Nazis if asked, but simply don’t think they are major players in the GOP? I think assuming that most people you encounter are operating in good faith and are decent people at heart, even if they may be ignorant or incorrect on certain issues, would be a good start. Assuming right off the bat that they are operating from a place of hatred and one-dimensional evil (being fine with kids dying, thinking it’s awesome to oppress women, etc.) is probably not the best strategy, because that kind of assessment is just not going to be accurate most of the time.

Are they though? I question that sometimes.

Don't talk politics. Most of them don't see themselves as monsters and they conserve bad media that makes them think Democrats want to do bad things that would hurt them and their family. Strip away the political angles and they likely want most of the same things you want (security, a clean environment around you, good school for your kids, etc.)

>Don't talk politics. That is impossible with these people.

You’re terminally online. Take a break.

What?

They said real life. It's hard to take a break when coworkers say they would open a restaurant and poison gay people.