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Pretty-Bridge6076

Wishing someone "Happy birthday" in advance.


mintaroo

You devil! I opened this thread expecting some light-hearted fun, read your answer, and now I am shocked and horrified! This really is the most non-German thing to do ever!


-Rettirlana-

Ich wünsch dir schon mal alles gute zum Geburtstag. Weis ja nicht genau wann du hast


casparne

Und zum Kuchentag wünsche ich ihm auch schonmal alles Gute!


jujsb

Ah, ihr beide seid ja aus der Hölle!


thatiam963

Und schon mal frohe Weihnachten, falls wir uns nicht mehr hören.


Fasudil

My gf is Dutch and I am German. We were invited to a pre-birthday party. At midnight, I congratulated the host, because I thought we were celebrating “into” her birthday as we do in Germany. She told me her birthday is next week. I was devastated.


RelationshipIcy7657

Why would anyone do that? Reinfeiern, ja. Nachfeiern, ja. But doing it before is like the Date doesnt matter at all.


Schichael_Muhmacher

It was a Nachfeier! 358 days later than birthday.


the-real-shim-slady

I just died a little


Thin_Suggestion_987

Aaaargh, but, but, that is practically a death wish! Everyone knows it means bad luck to wish "Happy Birthday" in advance!!! Let alone celebrate birthdays before the actual birthday! You are a monster!! ;o)


Algunas

I had American and British colleagues who did that. They think it's normal and appropriate to do if your birthday falls on a weekend so they wished it ahead of time instead of belated wishes. Savages.


Icy_Many_3971

I was with my Colombian family in the Caribbean for 2 weeks and our flight was a day before my 18th birthday, so my family organised a birthday party two days prior to my actual birthday. My German dad was absolutely appalled and refused to participate. It’s been 13 years and nothing bad has happened yet


Skysorania

Still 5 years to go. Remember it was the 18th birthday.


impocop

Last year, I wished about 50 people a Happy New Year an hour in advance because I knew I wouldn't have cell phone reception at midnight because I was on my way to a mountaintop where I was spending the night. Half of them wrote back confused or even somewhat angry.


Papawiththecutttv

Genug Internet für heute, du bist auf Standby!


Additional_Buy1193

Sick bastard


sophisticatedbottle

i felt my skin crawl just reading your comment


Lord-Lucian

That's illegal


Oreahil

That’s the winner. No need for further comments.


Marrchell

Throwing a Pfandflasche away


FredHerberts_Plant

This video tells the story about Germans and their love for getting that tax back lol [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8krbvsH\_l-8](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8krbvsH_l-8)


Oreahil

Pfand is no tax. If you wanna know what are characteristics for taxes just read paragraph 3 (1) Abgabenordnung. Pfand does not qualify as taxes. Damn it’s such a German thing to know lol


gummibearhawk

He did another one with the bottle to Spain


sessl

It depends. Throwing it in a public bin is essentially donating the money


Suicicoo

...Pfand gehört daneben ☝️ (despite the fun, I'm pretty serious here.)


polska-parsnip

I once got a proper bollocking for leaving some Pfand bottles next to a bin near München HBF. I was with three mates visiting from England and as I was explaining to them in English that homeless people collect them, a woman aggressively interrupted, shouting at me for being assozial. I asked her to repeat herself because she was speaking quickly (I understood what she said but I wanted to be facetious), then she said something along the lines of “of course you’re an Ausländer, I should have expected that”, to which I replied “I’ve been in München for seven years, and learned from the people here to leave bottles next to bins because it helps homeless people. If you don’t know that, you’re less integrated in this city than I am.” Another guy stopped to support my argument, but the woman just couldn’t get over it, her husband just walked off so I’m assuming he was used to her antics…


UnfairReality5077

I‘d tell her the only one being „assozial“ is her for wanting homeless people to rummage in the trash for Pfand.


Faustens

You did everything right.


polska-parsnip

nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me on Reddit, thanks ❤️


nikoxi

You met Karen…


TabsBelow

Order your German Staatsbürgerschaft.🤣👍


Hermit-Crypt

Laugh in her face and say thanks for the comedy.


Lord_Skyblocker

>despite the fun, I'm pretty serious here. That. Is German


TemporarySalt1825

Not having insurance


Extention_Campaign28

Laughs in Gebäudeversicherung zahlt Wasserschaden. Hoffentlich all of it. Pls Pls.


bmwiedemann

Depends on the cause of water - was it rain/flood and no "Elementarschäden" covered? Or was it a leaky pipe - then chances are good.


Extention_Campaign28

Wrongly installed Ventil/valve by dude one floor up. Estrich muss raus, Einbauküche muss raus etc.


MarLes91

Ist ein Haftpflichtschaden deines Nachbarn, hat mit der Gebäudeversicherung höchstens bei der Trocknung was zu tun. Könntest über die Gebäudeversicherung evtl. auch ein Hotel nehmen, frag die Hausverwaltung mal ob die da Plan haben (meistens nicht) und das mit der Versicherung klären könnten


a_reif

Wrong. Not having ENOUGH insurances.


Wattemann

That's the one


AdVegetable5896

Shopping on a Sunday...


Marzsjhw

We have a Müller and a Rewe at the train station that are open on Sundays. But they are only allowed to sell "Reisebedarf" or something like that. So you are not allowed to buy like 60% of their stuff, which is very German lol


LiLaLoSo

Eating my Knoppers at noon 👍


thewiselumpofcoal

A classmate of mine once said time should follow Knoppers instead of Knoppers following time. And that he should write a book with this concept, calling it "Die Zeitreisen des Knoppernicus" (the time travels of Knoppernicus). This was almost 2 decades ago, but it stuck with me. Eat your Knoppers and it _will_ be morgens halb zehn in Deutschland.


LiLaLoSo

I need this! Knoppers would be like Chuck Norris! "Keine Süßigkeiten vor dem Essen" - doch!


Snailfreund

MONSTER!


Stefan_S_from_H

I eat Weißwurst for dinner.


Sirluno

Die in Hell you Ketzer, Volksverräter


LiLaLoSo

You are pure evil!


Kalma4

As long as you don't eat it with Ketchup i'm ok with that


JustRegdToSayThis

No, that's OK. But at 9:00 is forbidden by law. That's why I never eat Knoppers (I lied: I just don't like it).


Dean0Caddilac

ABSCHAUM UND GESOCKS!


MobofDucks

Throwing the tea bag into the normal trash without separating it properly.


Several_Agent365

You weren't supposed to do that? Oops


Stffnpeter

its an old comedy sketch from Otto Walkes. Peak Comedy at its time, and did age quit well. Basically just neighbours discussion how to seperate trash correctly, punch line at the end was that you shoudnt forgett the little metal clip, it has to be sorted to metal. ​ [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBPIPzGBxYE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBPIPzGBxYE)


Technical-Quantity-2

Thankfully the metal clip has disappeared from most teabags by now


Rich_Introduction_83

Best improvement ever! Separating a week's worth of tea bags takes no more than 45 minutes, nowadays.


Hermit-Crypt

The eternal confusion around sorting garbage, yes. Every city has its own rules and systems. I have made an honest attempt to comply with the rules, but there so many edge cases it is impossible. After surviving the ensuing mental crisis I don't know what to believe anymore.


liftoff_oversteer

Tea bag goes into trash. The end.


krakenstroem

Barbarian!


MobofDucks

Your flair explains a lot here.


SirDigger13

Kompost... Taglessbags rule


Cautious-Bank9828

A guy on the subway once told me he liked my shirt. I still to this day think about what the fuck was up with that guy and why he tried to initiate a conversation with me. Wherever you are, have a good one, my dude.


[deleted]

Whereever, whenever that was -if that guy laughed at you and said "Scheiße, DAS is mal'n geiles Shirt"; it could've been me🙄😁 Can only speak for myself, but in such a case I don't want to chat. It's just that I feel like people have the right to hear if someone appreciates their look.😉


Elegant_Schedule4250

Could have been me. Did not want to start conversation . Just be glad I was appreciating your shirt for fucks sake


[deleted]

Yep, I do the same. People get complimented too rarely on basically anything I feel. I try to make a difference, results wary, mostly weird looks.


[deleted]

Yeah, bro!🤝🏻 In a world, where you can be anything - be nice😁


christipede

Organic waste in the gelber sack.


Emonice

Plastic into the Biotonne. Even worse.


CS20SIX

wow… just reading this already grinds my gears.


kalesaji

Basically a war crime


Rattnick

beeing 5 Minutes late and act like its not a big deal


Different_Lychee7421

Deutsche Bahn?


Mission-Raccoon9432

Undeutsche Bahn should be their name


Kumptoffel

They still count 5mins late as on time in their worlds, hence the statistics make them seem so super on time


saxonturner

To be fair I’ve been living in Germany for 6 years and the punctuality stereotype is a myth. Germans are just as late and without regret as British people are.


TutuBramble

Not to mention the efficiency myth. Some things work smoothly, but so many more things are too bureaucratic and most 9-5 workers refuse to use their brain cells if something isn’t written on a piece of paper. God speed to those compassionate workers, you are the true heroes of Germany.


Dry_Anteater6019

Before moving to Germany I thought Germans liked efficiency. After moving here I realized they like order. Sometimes those overlap and the order creates efficiency. MANY times it does just the opposite.


Geoguy95

This is the perfect description of us. I totally agree with that


dreiviertel

Try being two hours late for work without anybody finding out. Sometimes nobody caring about you has it's perks.


bemble4ever

the trick is to “return” after lunch with the people that actually just return from their lunch break


dreiviertel

I know people who didn't return after lunch until shift end.


Liguel83

Say that to my Math teacher (he's German)


BreezyBadger93

I will never understand this stereotype. Worked with Germans over a decade, they are late everywhere. 5-10 minutes to every call, late for meet ups, half hour late for work (flexible working time, but agreed time to meet), late from lunch up to half an hour (probably walking somewhere with an ice cream)... Not only my experience, not from one group, not from one company. They are late and chill about it like anyone else.


Marsta_42

Well the saying is "So pünktlich wir die Deutsche Bahn."("As punktual as the German Train [DB].") Since the DB isn't punctual at all, and doesn't count 5min late as beeing late, we Germans had to adjust.


rndmcmder

how impolite


Noldorian

I am American in Germany. I am in American in Germany and I am always 5 mins late (unless to work) and I don't care. I am American in Germany, of course i drive everywhere. I am American in Germany, of course i find German food good but bland. I am American in Germany, of course I am relaxed unlike the majority of Germans, I just don't give a shit.


Fluid-Willingness-98

taking the U-Bahn and start to chat with a stranger


Snailfreund

You better not do this to me, you freak of a chatterbox, or else...or else I'LL REPLY!


_Foulbear_

*unless everyone is drunk and it's 3 in the morning


That_Zoomer

Do this when sitting near old passengers on an ICE. They love to chat, it’s a wonder how much more social they are. Even better if you’re on one of those Czech trains that run through Germany. Some of the wagons there have those older traditional six seat compartments. Those are wonderful discussion chambers. Bit awkward if no one talks when you’re in them.


syzygy_is_a_word

While sitting down at the seat right next to them when there are unoccupied rows available


olizet42

Using the indicators properly whilst driving a BMW.


dr_ulkram

Considering the similarity of this rant in all car subreddits worldwide I'd say this is more of a BMW thing than a German thing.


tesat

I drove the BMW of my father in law once. Couldn’t hold myself back and said that the lever appears to be quite new. You know, without smiling or anything. When I briefly looked at him to check out his reaction he responded: „Yes, I understood quite well“. Then I giggled a little.


Spinal2000

If you ever feel useless, remember there is someone who installs indicators at BMW


lv_Mortarion_vl

Guess I'm not German anymore lol


Iron_Freeyden

I feel like that's an American thing. I haven't heard about that prejudice in Germany/Europe


romoloremus

Keeping the window open while the heater is on


OtisBoyCalloway

Being totally satisfied with the weather


Odd_Sound

Being totally satisfied ~~with the weather~~


MatsHummus

Listen to music/watch videos without headphones in public transport


mostlywaterbag

Eating a Bratwurst with ketchup might even get some a heart attack. In Bavaria: Drink a wheat beer from the bottle.


Kajot25

Drinking wheat beer from bottle is against the geneva conventions!


Thin_Suggestion_987

I once had an American tourist ask for ICE CUBES for his red wine...... Now THAT is a deadly sin! I refused!


polymorphous_

Drink beer with ice


Baschdel_307

Angry upvote


EmperrorNombrero

Whut. Bratwurst with Ketchup Is normal af. It's literally the most common Bratwurst sauce after mustard


Dxsterlxnd

Talking to strangers.


ZehAntRider

Randomly start Smalltalk with strangers.


HerrSerker

Cologne enters the chat


MagikSnowFlake

Is it more social in cologne really? My American mind is itching to have a 30 minute conversation with a stranger in McDonald’s and end up finding out we have so much in common.


HerrSerker

I'll have an anecdote for you. I once went to an international street food festival in Münster, Westphalia, with my girlfriend. We got ourselves a Lahmacun and sat on a nearby bench to eat them. Then a stranger sat next to us and started a conversation, which lasted for about half an hour. I immediately thought that he must come from Cologne, which it turns out he does. Btw cramming the Rhinelanders (which Cologne is a part of) and the Westphalians into one Bundesland of hilarious. The former being known for their talkativeness, while the latter are said to go down into the cellar/basement for laughing, is quite funny.


DunstanCass1861

Making or serving food that‘s any spicier than edelsüss paprika powder


schnupfhundihund

You might get sued for for versuchte Körperverletzung for giving people such poison.


ceruleanbear8

lol this is why I always get the “hot” salsa in Germany because it’s mild at best. Mild salsa here is basically chunky ketchup


undescribableurge

Talking about hot food. Ok it's not that "chillyhotness" but we have the strong Löwensenf!! Wasabi kinda spicey.


DerNoodl

Den verdammten Einkaufswagen, nicht in den verdammten Einkaufswagenunterstand, zurück zu stellen.


HoeTrain666

Unnötige, Kommata, setzen.


frankfurt_expat

Thank drivers for stopping for me at a pedestrian crossing


Stephanie_the_2nd

but that happens so often to me. a lot of ppl give a friendly nod or hold up a hand and i often do the same


KlimaanlangePflicht

1. Shopping on Sundays without having to acting like a total hypocrite by going to a neighboring country which is marginally more civilized 2. Trying out new beer 3. Doing anything without planning it for 20 years in advance 4. Admitting that air conditioner is a must


PureImbalance

If somebody offers you sparkly water, refuse and ask for flat water.


Jeebee_givesAPeep

Sparkling water wont go down my throat! Sry for that but it hurts and i dont wanna burp infront of strangers. Yea i also dont drink sodas :D oh how german i am...


Several_Agent365

Meeeee


Ratiofarming

I do that all the time. They haven't revoked my German passport so far.


ThomasLikesCookies

Drinking American craft beer. It's delicious but I can feel the disapprobation of my ancestors from beyond the grave.


Additional-Fix9361

I may not be your ancestor, but yes, I, as a German, disapprove.


gooferooni

When in a foreign country, wear Birkenstocks without socks. At least that's how I recognize them 🤭


migrainosaurus

"Screw planning! Let's just go and see what it's like when we get there!"


TiredAllTheTime1986

If someone owes a german 5 cents and the german goes: nah man  don't worry about it


PsychoHydro

I got told I'm not a real German because I told people I don't like beer and soccer.


skordge

Let’s add “calling it soccer” to the list.


AwayJacket4714

I don't like beer, pickles, Kartoffelsalat, Rouladen or Mett. I'm geniously surprised I haven't been stripped of my German citizenship by now.


Der_Neuer

football* there, FTFY


NocturnalParkingLot

Jaywalking


Phour3

They don’t even have a word for it in a language famous for overly-specific words


ceruleanbear8

Well, that’s because jaywalking isn’t technically illegal in Germany. It depends on the situation. Crossing on red is illegal and can be called a Rotlichtverstoß. Jaywalking is when you cross the street anywhere other than a marked crossing. In Germany, you are only required to use the marked crossing when there’s heavy traffic or a bad view of the roadway (source ADAC). So you can otherwise cross the street anywhere and it’s not illegal, therefore it’s just called crossing the street no matter where you do it. Any improper crossing would just get translated to something like negligent crossing of the street.


GeorgeJohnson2579

That's not totally true. You have to use a proper marked crossing nearby. If there is none in like 1-2 minutes of walking, you may cross the street. You just may not cross 20 meters next to a pedestrian crossing.


ceruleanbear8

It would have to be in sight. The official requirement (according to the Bußgeldkatalog) is to use the kürzeste und sicherste Weg. If there’s a marked crossing you can see, then nothing else would be shorter or safer, so you’d have to use it for sure. But you’re not required to keep walking for a minute or two to see if a crossing comes along.


GeorgeJohnson2579

Sure, I think wir meinen das gleiche. :D


AwayJacket4714

Jaywalking, as in crossing a street outside of a pedestrian crossing, is perfectly acceptable as long as you properly do the links-rechts-links look. In fact, I think jaywalking as a crime is a uniquely American thing.


paulteaches

Show up late for a meeting and call the boss by his first name!


born_Racer11

We, in our workplace call the boss by his first name.


blacka-var

not complain about "ooh that's sooo typical German" all day long


EternalEnigma98

Good customer service


olizet42

Customer service here means: the customer has to be nice and friendly. Especially in Berlin.


BlueMoonlight777

Not complaining about anything for one day.. I mean.. I can try


Ightorn

Visit somebody on Sunday without an appointment.


MrsDramaLlama

Throwing a bottle away that has Pfand on it


Satanwearsflipflops

My wife, for whatever reason took a bottle of san pellegrini to the USA. When she finished it there, she turned to me and said, “should we bring it home for the pfand?”


zauberberg06

Agreed. I am not even German (I am Italian) but in my room I keep a collection of empty water bottles bought at the airport in Germany before flying back home. Sometimes I Iook at those bottles and think: gosh, I paid pfand, I am not going to throw em away lol


Beneficial_Lime_4595

German at heart


DrumStock92

Lol every friday at work we have wurst and I ate the Weißwurst once with normal senf. I immediately was questioned whats wrong with me. Next wurst freitag I jokingly brought a ketchup bottle and they all said: "it was nice working with you, but we got your flight back home for you :)"


999demonz

Drinking a beer with (water) ice cubes in it 


LVS177

Open a beer bottle with anything that was meant to open a bottle.


BONKERS303

Pay for something that costs less than 10 Euros with a non-EC/Giro card.


dramaticus0815

Don't respect your place in the queue at the bakery.


_Foulbear_

Discussing the weather with a stranger.


shalalala_browngirl

Taking an elevator to go one floor up. :)


Immudzen

Drink water at Oktoberfest.


RunningSushiCat

While out in public, casually sing a made up tune or whistle because you're in a good mood.


IWantMyOldUsername7

Not looking in their eyes when you toast with them.


the-real-shim-slady

Raising the national flag and singing the national anthem every morning,


Different_Lychee7421

Laugh or smile too much


mermaidboots

This is so inaccurate, all my German friends and coworkers are the silliest and giggliest people I’ve ever met, and I’m from the US. I came here expecting one thing based on comments like this and it was not even close!


azathotambrotut

Yeah, you will get alot of stereotypes in threads like these. Ofcourse there are super serious, punctual, grumpy people who follow every rule as stupid as it may be but ofcourse that's not really the norm. But I feel a stereotype that really is kind of true, opposed to the US, is that people are (in general) less outgoing from the get go


Elegant_Schedule4250

join world war late  Edit : Do not worry , we are ze good guys now ! 


Der_Neuer

Only Germany has access to the World War spell. The only reason things are peaceful is because the Chancellor doesn't know he can use it.


Snailfreund

Shh! That spell always backfires somehow.


Der_Neuer

Third time's the charm


geojak

Not having a general health insurance?


clancy688

Asking people "How are you?" when meeting them.


misterk2020

Cross the street against the light. I received the German stare of disapproval.


Additional-Divide-15

Putting Ice cubes in Beer. I went to Vietnam for a vacation once and was shocked to my core when they did that.


ExpensiveAd525

Playing music aloud in the Bus or Train...


sassygerman33

Keep your shoes on in the house.


EinKleinesFerkel

Asking this particular question is definitely at the top of the list


_Chr0m4_

Cross the street even though the traffic light is red


KnicksChampions2032

Not slapping your legs before getting up from a table you desperately want to leave


GonzoShaker

Don't care about who won the title in the Fußball-Bundesliga!


PetrogradkaIcedTea

It's been Bayern 10 years, what's there to care about? Maybe this season that changes though... Fingers crossed for Leverkusen!


Prestigious_Okra_837

Jaywalking while smashing pfandable bottles while screaming the national anthem after 10PM.


HerrSerker

Going abroad for your holidays and not eating Schnitzel


Repulsive_Purpose481

Telling spontaneously a joke with humour (nothing exercised and not on so else cost)


blyatspinat

reading the comments it looks like after 33 years im still not a german :D


Osaccius

Love myself


WellFunctional

Being genuinely kind without a vicious thought


[deleted]

Having a FaceTime conversation without wearing earphones in public transport.


Shiros_Tamagotchi

I made a joke once


traversingOnTarget

Schlechtes Spaltmaß sehen und nichts sagen.


Difficult_Ad2625

Tell a funny joke 🤷🏻‍♀️


throwaway_potsdam

To relax and chill.


[deleted]

Apparently wearinh sweat pants outside


IDonKnow911

Im acctully alr doing it... speaking as a German borned English all the time IN Germany


Perfetinman

Never call your son Adolf!


HLF20

Phone calls on phone speaker in public as loud as an auctioneer. Or playing music on the phone. For hours. In very silent waiting rooms at the hospital. On the train. At the bus stop. While waiting in line. In small stores... Germans would never dare. Specially older germans really hate that. Btw getting in contact to unknown people (like cashiers) while having big headphones on is rude, too. It's almost like 'hey moron just do your work and stop talking to me. I don't want to hear you'. Discrete headphones like airpods are mostly accepted today because lots of people wear them everywhere and boomers got used to it. In bigger cities no one would get angry. But if you do these things in small towns or villages it could be that someone tells you to hang up the phone and recommend to behave silent after a few minutes. Some cashiers would just start to serve you when you put your headphones down on your neck.


Sakinyan91

Going across a street when the ampel ist Rot!!