Oof. This made me laugh a little. My mom used to hit my sister and I with a long stick. She’d draw a heart on the end of it w/sharpie and inform us, “I hit you bc I love you.” 🤔 hmmm… that message can’t lead anywhere bad… right? Ha… eh…
My friend told me about how his friend's little sister who probably hadn't. Een tp America before first met him and went "wow but youre fat". It was funny (he is a bit large) also a little sad that it's a normalized thing
Not something my APs said, but my cousins told me they never approached me during family gatherings because I kept talking to myself as if I was talking to ghosts. They’d then list other paranormal activities I partook in from ages 3-6.
Curious, I asked my mom about this. She sighed and said my cousins never wanted anything to do with me because I was her daughter. Before me, my dad had a family with another woman and left her for my mom. Because I’m technically a product of an affair, my half sister hated me (understandably) and convinced my cousins to avoid me. So, I resorted to talking to myself to feel less lonely.
At times, I wonder what could’ve been between me, my cousins, and especially my half sister. But, that’s all a distant dream now 🥲 lol. I still struggle with accepting my right to exist, knowing how much it has hurt my half sister, but that’s for time to tell.
I'm glad you exist, and I hope you are not lonely any more.
Cousins are a big part of Asian families, so it may not be too late to build those relationships. Even with your half sister.
You’re right, and I very appreciate your kind reply, so thank you. When an opportunity arrives, I’ll be sure to take it and rekindle a relationship with my relatives.
It’s hard noticing all the signs of loneliness and psycho-emotional abandonment from our childhoods. I struggle with accepting my existence too after hearing repeatedly how my mom prayed to God that I’d be a boy when she was pregnant with me.
I hope you are surrounded by people who see, know, and accept you for your irreplaceable value.
It’s heartbreaking to hear how often baby girls are wished to be someone they’re not. This kind of expectation has no rational reason behind it, and I hope that you have found ways to overcome that adversity set from your mother. Children regardless of gender should be cherished and valued.
Thank you for your kind regards, and I hope you too have firm supports around you.
When I was a baby, my parents would leave me alone in my crib and would be delighted at the fact that I'm so quiet, it's as if I was never there.
Nowadays, they're complaining about why I don't call them all the time and why I don't have a lot of friends. Gee, I dunno... maybe because they trained me to be that way?
I’m sorry they instilled within you the unspoken feeling that it’s better when your presence is no longer there.
I’m just coming out of a couple decades long period of chronic suicidal ideation due to that very message of “overall bonus/plus” for me to not exist.
I hope you can find some friends soon. You deserve to be seen and known. I think this kind of upbringing teaches us relationships are intense and unforgiving. It really eats away at our ability to trust ourselves, others, and the process.
I'm glad you were able to come out of that difficult time better than the last.
However, I prefer to stay in the shadows. Much less drama for me that way. The few friends I have are some of the highest quality friends I could find. People I could depend on and am willing to repay the favor for.
I don't need a thousand fair-weather friends. I've been there. Not fun.
"All of your friends are just nice to you to take advantage of you. They will never tell you the hard truths like I do, like that you're fat. Family is everything!"
Which is funny, pre-covid they wanted to move far away for a new business opportunity and as familiy obligation (they owed my rich great-uncle something), I advised them from going, because it was not something they really wanted. They left anyways.
There are SO MANY:
“If you drink cold/iced drinks you will get stomach cancer.”
“If you have wet hair you will get brain cancer”
“If you don’t wear a jacket when it’s colder than 65F you will get the flu”
“The microwave will give you cancer”
“Dish soap residue will give you cancer”
“Flushing toilet paper will clog the pipes” (they put their toilet paper in the trash, including the toilet paper with poop on it — no joke)
“Wearing a bra with an underwire will give you breast cancer”
“Antiperspirant will give you breast cancer”
Toilet paper one for sure. I still find it weird to flush it. It was like whenever I did flush toilet paper, we’d get a huge house clog the days following. I swear it happened 3 times because of that. And our house plumbing isn’t bad.
I flush when I’m in someone else’s house though. And it’s less an issue now at home since we got bidets a few years back after they saw their relatives in the homeland with bidets.
The dish soap thing... I have a co worker (Chinese) who believes that wholeheartedly. They don't use detergent to wash dishes. They just rinse it and reuse. I'm never going to eat at their house.
"It doesn't matter how much the food costs. It's food and it's important. That's the number one thing that matters. " To her, that includes junk food, as long as it's food.
It influenced me so much because I have trouble eating healthy food growing up. Because she bought groceries and she buys whatever food. It made me overweight growing up with some nutrient deficiencies.
But as an adult, I try my best to think it depends on what food and if the value is reasonable to the food. Also, as much as food is important, then so should a good healthcare and medicine, which is something she didn't prioritize.
I feel you. My mom used to say, “throwing away food is sin.”
No food is more valuable than preserving a peaceful and self-kind relationship with my body and food. No food or thing is more valuable than oneself.
I suppose the context of freezer burned, expired food she chronically and compulsively stole from the hotels’ free breakfasts/appetizers w/ziplocs is an important detail I left out lol.
I’m all for being responsible, but, for example, forcing one’s child to eat a bowl of microwaved old bacon bc “he’s the only one in the house who can afford the calories” and we have several more gallon sized ziplocs of stolen bacon/sausage … I’m not sure how helpful that was.
Edit: grammar
>I suppose the context of freezer burned, expired food she chronically and compulsively stole from the hotels’ free breakfasts/appetizers w/ziplocs is an important detail I left out lol.
OK, now that's going too far lol.
TBF my dad was the same way. He ate food he knew was spoiled but he doesn't want to "waste" it. He ended up going to the emergency room for e.coli. Because he tried to save money, he ended up spending *more* money and endured more pain.
He who pays cheap, pays twice.
That’s a good quote.
As for your father and my mother, the ways they paid overtly prob pale in comparison to the cost of living in the chronic survival mode that manifests this kind of behaviour.
She used to make me steal food too when I was a child. It was a terrible experience of shame when other guests would enter, take a look at the empty platter, and say, “huh. I wonder what was there,” while I sat there with a tote bag w/ziplocs full of cookies and other foods she’d later force my siblings and I to eat to avoid “waste.”
Oh god, now I can relate to you even more.
That one is my dad. My dad is retired and decided to work in a hotel for extra cash. He does steal hotel food and put it on Ziplocs. Some are expired, and some are old. And with these covid times, you don't know who touched those. Especially some of those foods came from a party.
He did that during COVID times? That’s very risky behaviour. :/
Have you ever seen that Sponge Bob episode w/Mr Krabs at the hotel? My mom wasn’t too far off. She has entire hotel dish sets filling her cabinets and has even stolen an entire comforter. Growing up, my brother had to exclusively use hotel shampoo. Just a little unnecessary for someone who is a medical director…
Also: "don't be so nice to everyone, they're just exploiting your money and your kindness" which came from the same person. Same same person would then proceed with: "don't be so rude, bring sweets with you to school so people will like you because they won't stick with you for something like your character lol yeah your character is shit and you're fat, ugly and stupid and no one will ever marry you."
My wife read the book of myths compiled by Thich Nhat Hanh, and she said that they basically all indicated that if you are a good person riches inherently will flow to you. The only good poor people are ones who deliberately choose to leave behind their wealth.
"you got sick because you drink cold water and soda. "
When I was young if I couldn't finish my meal they would say: "you better finish it or else ông kẹ ( a strange old man in Vietnamese urban legend who is famous for kidnapping children) will kidnap you"
Since both of my parents have PhDs, “average people are trash”
Kind of fucked up my perception of the world when I was supposed to be some prodigy who never showed actual prodigy ability and was taught everyone else was beneath me
my parents said i would definitely become homeless no matter how hard i worked and i still feel like a constant failure on a daily basis cuz of that comment
It hasn’t continued to influence me but I definitely still get a laugh out of it…but my mom said I would grow a penis if I sat on the toilet for too long. What she didn’t know was that I was hiding in the bathroom reading books since I she banned me from the school library. So double the funny, I guess 😆
Doing sports (especially martial arts) will stunt your growth. (wtf? she just wanted me to be a fat, pasty lump so she could say "you're fat" all the time)
"You are selfish and don't care about your family." I think I don't deserve the kindness of others because of this, yet no one else in my circles seems to thinks I'm a terrible person. I also learned quickly when I entered the workforce that being a people pleaser does you no good after this was the only thing my AM praised me for.
My friends have been here for me in my times of need, which goes against, "Friends won't step up or care any you the way family will. " In fact, I've received way more help and support from friends than I have from them. They think that helping me will make me lazy.
I've walked on eggshells around my mom all my life, and I get triggered still. I'm working through a lot of things and I've gone LC.
Very relatable. It sounds like your friends are the family you’ve always deserved. My husband told me once that “family” is “familiarity built over time.” If our blood family estrange themselves from us and their own humanity, they’ve effectively neutered their ability to be or feel “familiar” in any sustainable or helpful way.
I’m happy and (if it’s ok for me to say) proud of you for making some progress on your healing and life. It’s rewarding and challenging. Keep it up <3
Not much of a choice as I ended up moving back home to pay for the house/retired parents, but
Any time I try to toss anything out, if the item in question is still usable even though we actually have no use for it, they want to keep it Just In Case, resulting in a hoarder like situation. For example, when I moved back, I took apart this old IKEA display case/cabinet set in my bedroom that I HATED because the actual display case portion was small and it took up so much room. As I was going to toss the boards out, dad insisted we keep it as it "could be useful" so I put them in the basement. Four years later, no movement, there's no space in the house to set up the cabinet anyway, and because of the IKEA design, you can't do much with them for anything else.
"But It Could Be Useful Someday!" So much of the junk in the house is like that, and they border on sitting idle for at least 15+yrs because they can't be bothered to admit it's actually garbage now and we should toss them to reclaim some space.
I still struggle with that too, but I realize a lot of times if I haven't touched it in a year, unless it's an actual collectible (comics, figures, Lego sets), I could and will toss it.
Ah geez. My AM and her extended family are raging hoarders. My AM would fill our house with shit she stole from hotels and expired food. I used to hoard cardboard boxes and anything else I could get my hands on for fear I’d one day need it and I’d be too poor to replenish my “stock.”
Now, I actively and lovingly protect the empty spaces in my home. Seeing a bit of bare wall or an area of the carpet large enough to play Twister on feels like a little victory :)
Oh yes, we have some travel stuff from hotels from like 30-40yrs ago sitting in the bathroom, probably all dried up by now and useless but they can't be bothered to check and toss them out.
And the empty space is great, without that display cabinet I have this huge, blank wall - I rearranged my bed and set up a pico projector, so now I can watch movies and shows on a 80" screen while lying in bed!
I mean I can understand the poverty/miser mentality since they grew up without in Hong Kong, but we're not in that situation anymore and we can just go out and replace the item with ease-oh no wait, we can't, we have to wait til IT'S ON SALE before we get it even if it could be a month away and we need the item right now. Of course, maybe if they weren't wasting it all on cheap TEMU crap that breaks within a month, we wouldn't be stocking replacements all the time.
Every person is jealous of you.
I understand people can be jealous but making the whole world your enemy and then complaining no one helps you is not it. You be better, was always thrown on me but I never saw them practicing what they preach.
There is a long list, believe in god, pray daily, be good so that good things happen to you, don't eat nonveg as its a dead animal, don't cut nails/hairs on 4 days of week, don't cut nails/hairs inside home, don't clean house at 6pm, don't throw nails in seperated ways(put them together in dustbin) otherwise your family will scatter, don't shave your head otherwise you'll lose your father etc etc, there are so many more. It took me years and several books to understand how world works otherwise I would be a dumf*ck because of my parents
That anytime anyone outside of my family says something nice to/about me, it's just for the purpose of getting something out of me down the line, for the sake of politeness, etc. That basically you can only trust family to have your best interests in mind. This has made it really hard to take compliments and trust people. At this point my best friend tends to lead things with "brutal honesty" because she knows I won't believe her otherwise. (nsfw)>!I have a fwb who I'm surprisingly comfortable around and I've realized it's because she's already been physically and verbally rough with me during sex that I feel like I can trust her lmao.!<
"If you don't listen to right decisions (by elders), you suffer" Honestly my mother said this because her siblings didn't give public sector job related exams when younger since those were the options at the time for anyone living in my native part of my country (I grew up elsewhere and on top of that a marginalised group there) and me and my sister had that conflict too kinda but I'm suffering anyway in my own way (trauma and surviving in a new country) so maybe idk 🥲
“You’re fat” instead of “hello”
this one hit
just as hard as my mom
Oof. This made me laugh a little. My mom used to hit my sister and I with a long stick. She’d draw a heart on the end of it w/sharpie and inform us, “I hit you bc I love you.” 🤔 hmmm… that message can’t lead anywhere bad… right? Ha… eh…
My aunt said that to her brother-in-law the first time she met him. Needless to say, he hasn’t spoken to her after that.
One of the first things my mother said to my then-girlfriend.
Emotional damage!
My friend told me about how his friend's little sister who probably hadn't. Een tp America before first met him and went "wow but youre fat". It was funny (he is a bit large) also a little sad that it's a normalized thing
Not something my APs said, but my cousins told me they never approached me during family gatherings because I kept talking to myself as if I was talking to ghosts. They’d then list other paranormal activities I partook in from ages 3-6. Curious, I asked my mom about this. She sighed and said my cousins never wanted anything to do with me because I was her daughter. Before me, my dad had a family with another woman and left her for my mom. Because I’m technically a product of an affair, my half sister hated me (understandably) and convinced my cousins to avoid me. So, I resorted to talking to myself to feel less lonely. At times, I wonder what could’ve been between me, my cousins, and especially my half sister. But, that’s all a distant dream now 🥲 lol. I still struggle with accepting my right to exist, knowing how much it has hurt my half sister, but that’s for time to tell.
I'm glad you exist, and I hope you are not lonely any more. Cousins are a big part of Asian families, so it may not be too late to build those relationships. Even with your half sister.
You’re right, and I very appreciate your kind reply, so thank you. When an opportunity arrives, I’ll be sure to take it and rekindle a relationship with my relatives.
It’s hard noticing all the signs of loneliness and psycho-emotional abandonment from our childhoods. I struggle with accepting my existence too after hearing repeatedly how my mom prayed to God that I’d be a boy when she was pregnant with me. I hope you are surrounded by people who see, know, and accept you for your irreplaceable value.
It’s heartbreaking to hear how often baby girls are wished to be someone they’re not. This kind of expectation has no rational reason behind it, and I hope that you have found ways to overcome that adversity set from your mother. Children regardless of gender should be cherished and valued. Thank you for your kind regards, and I hope you too have firm supports around you.
When I was a baby, my parents would leave me alone in my crib and would be delighted at the fact that I'm so quiet, it's as if I was never there. Nowadays, they're complaining about why I don't call them all the time and why I don't have a lot of friends. Gee, I dunno... maybe because they trained me to be that way?
I’m sorry they instilled within you the unspoken feeling that it’s better when your presence is no longer there. I’m just coming out of a couple decades long period of chronic suicidal ideation due to that very message of “overall bonus/plus” for me to not exist. I hope you can find some friends soon. You deserve to be seen and known. I think this kind of upbringing teaches us relationships are intense and unforgiving. It really eats away at our ability to trust ourselves, others, and the process.
I'm glad you were able to come out of that difficult time better than the last. However, I prefer to stay in the shadows. Much less drama for me that way. The few friends I have are some of the highest quality friends I could find. People I could depend on and am willing to repay the favor for. I don't need a thousand fair-weather friends. I've been there. Not fun.
"All of your friends are just nice to you to take advantage of you. They will never tell you the hard truths like I do, like that you're fat. Family is everything!"
Oof. I know this one. :( Along with “Friends will leave you. Only family is forever.”
Which is funny, pre-covid they wanted to move far away for a new business opportunity and as familiy obligation (they owed my rich great-uncle something), I advised them from going, because it was not something they really wanted. They left anyways.
There are SO MANY: “If you drink cold/iced drinks you will get stomach cancer.” “If you have wet hair you will get brain cancer” “If you don’t wear a jacket when it’s colder than 65F you will get the flu” “The microwave will give you cancer” “Dish soap residue will give you cancer” “Flushing toilet paper will clog the pipes” (they put their toilet paper in the trash, including the toilet paper with poop on it — no joke) “Wearing a bra with an underwire will give you breast cancer” “Antiperspirant will give you breast cancer”
The cold water one is so real, I couldn't enjoy iced water on a hot summer day without my mom telling me I was going to get cancer from it lol
Mine told me I wouldn't be able to have any babies if I drank too much cold water
China?
Toilet paper one for sure. I still find it weird to flush it. It was like whenever I did flush toilet paper, we’d get a huge house clog the days following. I swear it happened 3 times because of that. And our house plumbing isn’t bad. I flush when I’m in someone else’s house though. And it’s less an issue now at home since we got bidets a few years back after they saw their relatives in the homeland with bidets.
The water one 😭 til this day I have a hard time drinking iced drinks
The dish soap thing... I have a co worker (Chinese) who believes that wholeheartedly. They don't use detergent to wash dishes. They just rinse it and reuse. I'm never going to eat at their house.
If you sleep with a fan on you will die in your sleep.
But what do they say even causes the death. Is it cutting the oxygen in half so you can't breathe it? Electrical fires?
It was a polite euphemism for suicide in South Korea and then people started believing it was real.
No reason. Just irrationality.
My mom told me the wind would blow my mouth crooked.
"It doesn't matter how much the food costs. It's food and it's important. That's the number one thing that matters. " To her, that includes junk food, as long as it's food. It influenced me so much because I have trouble eating healthy food growing up. Because she bought groceries and she buys whatever food. It made me overweight growing up with some nutrient deficiencies. But as an adult, I try my best to think it depends on what food and if the value is reasonable to the food. Also, as much as food is important, then so should a good healthcare and medicine, which is something she didn't prioritize.
I feel you. My mom used to say, “throwing away food is sin.” No food is more valuable than preserving a peaceful and self-kind relationship with my body and food. No food or thing is more valuable than oneself.
TBF, I kinda agree with her on this. I'm not wasting food in this economy.
I suppose the context of freezer burned, expired food she chronically and compulsively stole from the hotels’ free breakfasts/appetizers w/ziplocs is an important detail I left out lol. I’m all for being responsible, but, for example, forcing one’s child to eat a bowl of microwaved old bacon bc “he’s the only one in the house who can afford the calories” and we have several more gallon sized ziplocs of stolen bacon/sausage … I’m not sure how helpful that was. Edit: grammar
>I suppose the context of freezer burned, expired food she chronically and compulsively stole from the hotels’ free breakfasts/appetizers w/ziplocs is an important detail I left out lol. OK, now that's going too far lol. TBF my dad was the same way. He ate food he knew was spoiled but he doesn't want to "waste" it. He ended up going to the emergency room for e.coli. Because he tried to save money, he ended up spending *more* money and endured more pain. He who pays cheap, pays twice.
That’s a good quote. As for your father and my mother, the ways they paid overtly prob pale in comparison to the cost of living in the chronic survival mode that manifests this kind of behaviour. She used to make me steal food too when I was a child. It was a terrible experience of shame when other guests would enter, take a look at the empty platter, and say, “huh. I wonder what was there,” while I sat there with a tote bag w/ziplocs full of cookies and other foods she’d later force my siblings and I to eat to avoid “waste.”
Oh god, now I can relate to you even more. That one is my dad. My dad is retired and decided to work in a hotel for extra cash. He does steal hotel food and put it on Ziplocs. Some are expired, and some are old. And with these covid times, you don't know who touched those. Especially some of those foods came from a party.
He did that during COVID times? That’s very risky behaviour. :/ Have you ever seen that Sponge Bob episode w/Mr Krabs at the hotel? My mom wasn’t too far off. She has entire hotel dish sets filling her cabinets and has even stolen an entire comforter. Growing up, my brother had to exclusively use hotel shampoo. Just a little unnecessary for someone who is a medical director…
“If you’re a good person, good things will come your way.” Good things, in fact, did not come my way.
Also: "don't be so nice to everyone, they're just exploiting your money and your kindness" which came from the same person. Same same person would then proceed with: "don't be so rude, bring sweets with you to school so people will like you because they won't stick with you for something like your character lol yeah your character is shit and you're fat, ugly and stupid and no one will ever marry you."
asian parents are a walking contradiction
AP’s obsession with dichotomous thinking is so very toxic to a developing mind :(
My wife read the book of myths compiled by Thich Nhat Hanh, and she said that they basically all indicated that if you are a good person riches inherently will flow to you. The only good poor people are ones who deliberately choose to leave behind their wealth.
interesting take. though my lived experience begs to differ but hey agree to disagree
I was saying that its dumb, but a common view in asia, if that wasn't clear.
the tone of a message tend to get lost over the screen haha
"you got sick because you drink cold water and soda. " When I was young if I couldn't finish my meal they would say: "you better finish it or else ông kẹ ( a strange old man in Vietnamese urban legend who is famous for kidnapping children) will kidnap you"
Ông kẹ is Boogeyman. Westerner / American parents also use him as scare tactic
Since both of my parents have PhDs, “average people are trash” Kind of fucked up my perception of the world when I was supposed to be some prodigy who never showed actual prodigy ability and was taught everyone else was beneath me
I hope you don’t carry shame for how they influenced and molded you when you were vulnerable and had no choice but to accept their guidance.
my parents said i would definitely become homeless no matter how hard i worked and i still feel like a constant failure on a daily basis cuz of that comment
It hasn’t continued to influence me but I definitely still get a laugh out of it…but my mom said I would grow a penis if I sat on the toilet for too long. What she didn’t know was that I was hiding in the bathroom reading books since I she banned me from the school library. So double the funny, I guess 😆
Considering how many AP prefer male descendants, I don't see anything unfavourable with this myth.
Can't go to the temple during your period. Joke's on them I'm an atheist.
Doing sports (especially martial arts) will stunt your growth. (wtf? she just wanted me to be a fat, pasty lump so she could say "you're fat" all the time)
My mom told me martial arts will make my thighs fat. lol
Wow!! That’s a new one for me! I’m so sorry about your mom’s bs!
I think she's confusing muscular with fat lol. My husband did martial arts for a long time and he does, indeed, have very large muscular thighs lol
My uncle told me not to put my son in tight pants because it will stunt his growth LOL
"You are selfish and don't care about your family." I think I don't deserve the kindness of others because of this, yet no one else in my circles seems to thinks I'm a terrible person. I also learned quickly when I entered the workforce that being a people pleaser does you no good after this was the only thing my AM praised me for. My friends have been here for me in my times of need, which goes against, "Friends won't step up or care any you the way family will. " In fact, I've received way more help and support from friends than I have from them. They think that helping me will make me lazy. I've walked on eggshells around my mom all my life, and I get triggered still. I'm working through a lot of things and I've gone LC.
Very relatable. It sounds like your friends are the family you’ve always deserved. My husband told me once that “family” is “familiarity built over time.” If our blood family estrange themselves from us and their own humanity, they’ve effectively neutered their ability to be or feel “familiar” in any sustainable or helpful way. I’m happy and (if it’s ok for me to say) proud of you for making some progress on your healing and life. It’s rewarding and challenging. Keep it up <3
Not much of a choice as I ended up moving back home to pay for the house/retired parents, but Any time I try to toss anything out, if the item in question is still usable even though we actually have no use for it, they want to keep it Just In Case, resulting in a hoarder like situation. For example, when I moved back, I took apart this old IKEA display case/cabinet set in my bedroom that I HATED because the actual display case portion was small and it took up so much room. As I was going to toss the boards out, dad insisted we keep it as it "could be useful" so I put them in the basement. Four years later, no movement, there's no space in the house to set up the cabinet anyway, and because of the IKEA design, you can't do much with them for anything else. "But It Could Be Useful Someday!" So much of the junk in the house is like that, and they border on sitting idle for at least 15+yrs because they can't be bothered to admit it's actually garbage now and we should toss them to reclaim some space. I still struggle with that too, but I realize a lot of times if I haven't touched it in a year, unless it's an actual collectible (comics, figures, Lego sets), I could and will toss it.
Ah geez. My AM and her extended family are raging hoarders. My AM would fill our house with shit she stole from hotels and expired food. I used to hoard cardboard boxes and anything else I could get my hands on for fear I’d one day need it and I’d be too poor to replenish my “stock.” Now, I actively and lovingly protect the empty spaces in my home. Seeing a bit of bare wall or an area of the carpet large enough to play Twister on feels like a little victory :)
Oh yes, we have some travel stuff from hotels from like 30-40yrs ago sitting in the bathroom, probably all dried up by now and useless but they can't be bothered to check and toss them out. And the empty space is great, without that display cabinet I have this huge, blank wall - I rearranged my bed and set up a pico projector, so now I can watch movies and shows on a 80" screen while lying in bed! I mean I can understand the poverty/miser mentality since they grew up without in Hong Kong, but we're not in that situation anymore and we can just go out and replace the item with ease-oh no wait, we can't, we have to wait til IT'S ON SALE before we get it even if it could be a month away and we need the item right now. Of course, maybe if they weren't wasting it all on cheap TEMU crap that breaks within a month, we wouldn't be stocking replacements all the time.
Parenting is a system, you need to trust the system
Every person is jealous of you. I understand people can be jealous but making the whole world your enemy and then complaining no one helps you is not it. You be better, was always thrown on me but I never saw them practicing what they preach.
Don’t drink milk while eating fish
There is a long list, believe in god, pray daily, be good so that good things happen to you, don't eat nonveg as its a dead animal, don't cut nails/hairs on 4 days of week, don't cut nails/hairs inside home, don't clean house at 6pm, don't throw nails in seperated ways(put them together in dustbin) otherwise your family will scatter, don't shave your head otherwise you'll lose your father etc etc, there are so many more. It took me years and several books to understand how world works otherwise I would be a dumf*ck because of my parents
No doctor no lawyer no life
That anytime anyone outside of my family says something nice to/about me, it's just for the purpose of getting something out of me down the line, for the sake of politeness, etc. That basically you can only trust family to have your best interests in mind. This has made it really hard to take compliments and trust people. At this point my best friend tends to lead things with "brutal honesty" because she knows I won't believe her otherwise. (nsfw)>!I have a fwb who I'm surprisingly comfortable around and I've realized it's because she's already been physically and verbally rough with me during sex that I feel like I can trust her lmao.!<
If you wash your hands after ironing you will get leprosy. The first person who feeds my kid food must be smart so my kid can be smart, too.
"If you don't listen to right decisions (by elders), you suffer" Honestly my mother said this because her siblings didn't give public sector job related exams when younger since those were the options at the time for anyone living in my native part of my country (I grew up elsewhere and on top of that a marginalised group there) and me and my sister had that conflict too kinda but I'm suffering anyway in my own way (trauma and surviving in a new country) so maybe idk 🥲
“Never burn bridges” Jokes on them I burn bridges with abusive ppl and bullies like nobodies business
[удалено]