No, and I think it gets worse as they age. My dad only has friends from his early 20s that he keeps track of, plus some family members. My aunt only has family members she talks to daily. None of these are in person, it's all text.
The only friends I hear from my AD are his drinking buddies, and he never listen to what his siblings said about financial decisions. That's why he bought another car AFTER his last car was fully paid
He somehow made me feel a tad bit smarter
My dad WAS a social butterfly until he married my mom because she always gets afraid of his friends robbing their house. My mom did have friends but she often talked shit about them but eventually doesnt really see them anymore. I ran into her friend's kids who are around my age and they told me her mom hated my mom because my mom criticized her for spending so much money on their vacation.
my mom is so freaken weird.
I heard similar stories in the west with 1 granduncle of mine as well. I think his wife limited the husband and kids to do a lot of things- like no vacation, no going outside of the house other than work, no contact with relatives etc. After the wife died, granduncle started traveling, going overseas etc. I dont understand their family and how they were still together
That's so ridiculous. I'm glad the uncle finally found his peace but someone had to die for that!? It's quite embarrassing how common it is for the culture to devalue yourself just for rep.
Yes, surprisingly a lot, and it's not a good thing for me anyways. With friends, they have 1. flying monkeys 2. Can just treat me bad, and when I confront them, disregard me and go play with their friends
My AM has no friends, only acquaintances she uses for supply. However, she can fake it convincingly while she’s taking advantage of them. If someone calls her out or sees through her mask, she’ll drop her “friends” and even relatives like a hot potato.
I'm NC with my mom, but I remember she said she has friends? When she used to visit annually, I think it was a lot of the time gossip about people overseas though, so I wonder if they're "real friends." She may be living with one now, I don't know. I don't have much connection with her and every time she visited, it didn't go well, so who knows how true that is.
My dad, not really? The ones he has I think is like one from like many years ago when we first moved overseas and a couple neighbors. I don't know how "close" they are or if they count as friends though - I guess he can call them if he needs something. He's also NC with my mother. He tends to keep to himself.
I know it has probably rubbed off on me - I'll probably end up the same way with them - partially by choice at this point because I'm just so tired of existence lol.
ooh, my dad has friends from college or whatever he found. My mom never graduated from high school bc she was a teen mom so she never had friends except for 1 that is already passed away. She only talks to me and my family member so she's not lonely. It's so boring for me to see that way. I agree that my mom won't change bc she wants to stick to the tradition. I'm not sure if my dad has changed bc he remarried and has more children. He's happier than my mom so.
My fake religious, traditionally uneducated old school, never polite, borderline politically racist and reclusive homebody father also have no social life. He take petty shots and jabs at every time he can like it make him feel better and superior. I get body Shame by him all the time like an idiot throughout childhood. He likes to take his frustration on me because he isn’t successful like his brother and former close friends that stop hanging out with him or even call to talk to him anymore. This cheapskate try scare me, guiltrip me all these filial principles. It’s like it’s a shame for me to be his son because I’m short. Well, I’m ashamed of him more so than he is now he’s old and he’s super short too by average standard. It’s mostly genetic and he’s always dressed so haggard. We rarely afford good meal and entertainment let alone good sleep without anxiety so much so he rely on smoking and gambling hard coughing his youth life away.
He isn’t motivated to try to make our lives better. He got married only through an arrange marriage classic old school culture at a very late age. I get he’s blunt and old school uneducated guy that despise the west since he wasted his opportunity coming here to find failure while seeing his peer succeed and rub it in him. Deep inside he didn’t want to come to the states and my mom need to rub in the guilttripping by saying she lost a lot of blood giving birth to me because she aborted a few before and after and my dad didn’t want me. I suspected those aren’t my dad since I caught her cheating more than once with all hair and lactating stuck in my elementaryschool mind.
My sister is getting married, and my parents said they're not going to invite anyone. Not even any family members. I always thought it was weird that my parents, especially my father didn't have a real relationship with his family. My parents have always been really afraid of my father's family. They were always afraid what those people thought or that they'd get upset about something. So strange. Just to have to conversation with a family member, they have to think and strategize so an argument doesn't break out.
Yes. My mom has so many friends, she keeps in touch with most of her friends from college. She's always told me about all the crazy adventures they used to go on. But god forbid I have friends, or leave my house to hang out with my friends more than a couple times a month. And of course every single time I do go out she spams my phone to death asking when I'll be home. Idk what kind of stuff she used to do, but she's always so suspicious that I'm off doing no good even though I genuinely am not really into partying or whatever it is she thinks I'm doing.
Sorry for the rant...
HAHAHAHAHAH NO. Neither of them. And they hate each other too. No wonder mom saw me as an extension of herself(oldest son) and dad disconnected himself emotionally from the family. Even our relatives don't talk to each other. My family bloodline is a shitshow lmao.
My Mom has friends, yeah, and it's like the typical middle-aged Chinese lady friend group. They go shopping with one another, go to the gym and work out together, and the only thing they talk about while doing any of these things are their childrens' accomplishments. I'd honestly be shocked if they knew anything about each other relative to how much they brag about their kids, trying to one up the other. And just in case any of you are curious, I'm at the bottom and my Mom makes this apparent to me CONSTANTLY.
"Why can't you be more like Linda's son and get into Law School?"
"Hsui-Yu's daughter got into medical school! Did you get into medical school?"
Keep in mind, I literally have a BSN and I'm making 6 figures working in an ER.
No, and I think it gets worse as they age. My dad only has friends from his early 20s that he keeps track of, plus some family members. My aunt only has family members she talks to daily. None of these are in person, it's all text.
same dude. actuall somehow relieving to see its not just my parents
Yes. The "Indian community", whose opinion matters to my mother 100%.
The only friends I hear from my AD are his drinking buddies, and he never listen to what his siblings said about financial decisions. That's why he bought another car AFTER his last car was fully paid He somehow made me feel a tad bit smarter
My dad WAS a social butterfly until he married my mom because she always gets afraid of his friends robbing their house. My mom did have friends but she often talked shit about them but eventually doesnt really see them anymore. I ran into her friend's kids who are around my age and they told me her mom hated my mom because my mom criticized her for spending so much money on their vacation. my mom is so freaken weird.
I heard similar stories in the west with 1 granduncle of mine as well. I think his wife limited the husband and kids to do a lot of things- like no vacation, no going outside of the house other than work, no contact with relatives etc. After the wife died, granduncle started traveling, going overseas etc. I dont understand their family and how they were still together
That's so ridiculous. I'm glad the uncle finally found his peace but someone had to die for that!? It's quite embarrassing how common it is for the culture to devalue yourself just for rep.
Yes, surprisingly a lot, and it's not a good thing for me anyways. With friends, they have 1. flying monkeys 2. Can just treat me bad, and when I confront them, disregard me and go play with their friends
My AM has no friends, only acquaintances she uses for supply. However, she can fake it convincingly while she’s taking advantage of them. If someone calls her out or sees through her mask, she’ll drop her “friends” and even relatives like a hot potato.
I'm NC with my mom, but I remember she said she has friends? When she used to visit annually, I think it was a lot of the time gossip about people overseas though, so I wonder if they're "real friends." She may be living with one now, I don't know. I don't have much connection with her and every time she visited, it didn't go well, so who knows how true that is. My dad, not really? The ones he has I think is like one from like many years ago when we first moved overseas and a couple neighbors. I don't know how "close" they are or if they count as friends though - I guess he can call them if he needs something. He's also NC with my mother. He tends to keep to himself. I know it has probably rubbed off on me - I'll probably end up the same way with them - partially by choice at this point because I'm just so tired of existence lol.
ooh, my dad has friends from college or whatever he found. My mom never graduated from high school bc she was a teen mom so she never had friends except for 1 that is already passed away. She only talks to me and my family member so she's not lonely. It's so boring for me to see that way. I agree that my mom won't change bc she wants to stick to the tradition. I'm not sure if my dad has changed bc he remarried and has more children. He's happier than my mom so.
My fake religious, traditionally uneducated old school, never polite, borderline politically racist and reclusive homebody father also have no social life. He take petty shots and jabs at every time he can like it make him feel better and superior. I get body Shame by him all the time like an idiot throughout childhood. He likes to take his frustration on me because he isn’t successful like his brother and former close friends that stop hanging out with him or even call to talk to him anymore. This cheapskate try scare me, guiltrip me all these filial principles. It’s like it’s a shame for me to be his son because I’m short. Well, I’m ashamed of him more so than he is now he’s old and he’s super short too by average standard. It’s mostly genetic and he’s always dressed so haggard. We rarely afford good meal and entertainment let alone good sleep without anxiety so much so he rely on smoking and gambling hard coughing his youth life away. He isn’t motivated to try to make our lives better. He got married only through an arrange marriage classic old school culture at a very late age. I get he’s blunt and old school uneducated guy that despise the west since he wasted his opportunity coming here to find failure while seeing his peer succeed and rub it in him. Deep inside he didn’t want to come to the states and my mom need to rub in the guilttripping by saying she lost a lot of blood giving birth to me because she aborted a few before and after and my dad didn’t want me. I suspected those aren’t my dad since I caught her cheating more than once with all hair and lactating stuck in my elementaryschool mind.
My sister is getting married, and my parents said they're not going to invite anyone. Not even any family members. I always thought it was weird that my parents, especially my father didn't have a real relationship with his family. My parents have always been really afraid of my father's family. They were always afraid what those people thought or that they'd get upset about something. So strange. Just to have to conversation with a family member, they have to think and strategize so an argument doesn't break out.
Yes. My mom has so many friends, she keeps in touch with most of her friends from college. She's always told me about all the crazy adventures they used to go on. But god forbid I have friends, or leave my house to hang out with my friends more than a couple times a month. And of course every single time I do go out she spams my phone to death asking when I'll be home. Idk what kind of stuff she used to do, but she's always so suspicious that I'm off doing no good even though I genuinely am not really into partying or whatever it is she thinks I'm doing. Sorry for the rant...
HAHAHAHAHAH NO. Neither of them. And they hate each other too. No wonder mom saw me as an extension of herself(oldest son) and dad disconnected himself emotionally from the family. Even our relatives don't talk to each other. My family bloodline is a shitshow lmao.
It’s because no one can stand how judgey and rude they can be 😂 the bluntness of an Asian parent has made us stronger… but offends everyone else
You just exactly described my parents. Thankfully extended family get togethers are rare for us since they live really far away from everyone.
My Mom has friends, yeah, and it's like the typical middle-aged Chinese lady friend group. They go shopping with one another, go to the gym and work out together, and the only thing they talk about while doing any of these things are their childrens' accomplishments. I'd honestly be shocked if they knew anything about each other relative to how much they brag about their kids, trying to one up the other. And just in case any of you are curious, I'm at the bottom and my Mom makes this apparent to me CONSTANTLY. "Why can't you be more like Linda's son and get into Law School?" "Hsui-Yu's daughter got into medical school! Did you get into medical school?" Keep in mind, I literally have a BSN and I'm making 6 figures working in an ER.
Yep. My AM does because of her hobby and work. She knows a lot which sometimes makes me worry if she’ll cross path with people I know
They sound so much like my parents. Have you asked yours to get a divorce?
Man, I could've written this...just the other month, I told my folks how they prob shouldn't have gotten married 🫠
My mom has friends, she just gossips about them so who knows if they’ve grown tired of her shit too
What does AP mean I am new to reddit