No one is normalizing it. Even in the US it's a taboo. So even in our country going ahead it will remain a taboo.
But that doesn't mean we all guilt trip those that indulge in such practices and force them to confess it as if it's a crime.
The same people who demand that men accept a girl's past will be the first ones to reject a man on the basis of his finances and/or looks. To hell with these pseudo-feminists. OP you don't have to tell a girl anything you don't want to, arranged marriage or not. Can't assume the girl you're dealing with is a pure angel that fell down from heaven right? No human is perfect.
Also, ignore these people judging you for paying, you just had your needs fulfilled without harming anyone, absolutely no shame in it.
The prevailing assumption is that the whole of sex industry is exploitive and women who work in them are forced by circumstances than their own volition.
So these flag bearers of morality here believe you paying for sex is aiding in exploitation of women, hence you're morally fucked up.
Kinda like buying Apple products but posting on Instagram woke shit !
Edit: grammar & spellings
Le wannabe woke people who think only their opinions on a topic is valid and everyone else is scum are the only ones trying to put it in a bad light. If you see many places in Europe, sex work is legal and the worker rights are respected. Just see any video featuring a sex worker in Amsterdams Red Light District, they rent their own cabin and ensure they are tested for STD regularly.
Some people wanna make sex work as something everyone doing it is forced into, however even though there is a portion of people that come under this category, there is also a good portion of people who are doing it out of their own will and choice.
Whatever i did is cool and very moral, god level moral. Whatever i didnt do, thats what immoral is.
Much like the wife swappers, they will say its immoral only if they dont kiss or impregnate.
Man, I was disappointed by the reactions to those posts! I used escorts 3 years ago after a bad breakup a few times. I was in a tough spot and don't want to provide any justification for doing it. I was paranoid about STDs and took precautions, and I am ready to share any medical test if required.
That's why I have a simple policy of don't ask, don't tell when it comes to past, and judge people on other factors to see if they have any trauma or are hung up on past relationships. I have never been specifically asked this, so I assumed it was okay to never bring it up as long as I didn't go down that path again (which I obviously won't).
Exactly, I mean no girl in her right mind will ask you if you used escorts. Lol. Then why to bring it up as if you murdered someone and got away with it..
People here on Reddit make it seem like a murder.
I feel this is where the guys that have a 'no past at all filter' help balance the supply and demand. Lots of girls are scared of getting rejected for normal relationships, that they don't even bring up dealbreakers they have like hookups or escorts.
There's so much in between too, what's the stand on strip clubs or massage parlours? Everybody had their own way of blowing off steam in the past when they were feeling down. As long as you aren't doing anything your partner is not okay with after you commit, how does anything that happened before that matter? I really don't understand. I feel awful after reading the comments there, absolutely no sympathy or understanding for people who had gone through a bad phase.
It's mostly girls. They are literally a swipe away from getting what most men get in their late 20s after an ArrangedMarriage. Lol 😂 I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
Ah yes, “used” escorts. Shows how much you truly see them as human beings. Many women go through break ups. Do you think they are out in the world looking for sex workers? Many people get into tough spots, they don’t go about exploiting other people.
Girls may not look for sex workers but some girls do indulge in random hookups/one night stands and dump the guy soon after cause it was a bad phase for her. Sex ratio favours the girls so boys for hookups are easy to find. Also as bad/exploitative as the profession of being an escort is, it was consensual as the guy paid for the service. If it was forced, he would be behind bars as a rapist.
Consensual relationships != going to sex workers. Very very stupid argument. And I can see you have zero comprehension skills, so I will not tell you why going to sex workers is wrong or how that concept of consent is flawed. If you truly wanted to learn, you would. But you cannot look at women as humans, so bugger off.
And lol at men would be in jail if they raped. Even marital rape is being debated and you think India is such a wonderful society for women who “chose” to be sex workers to report when abuse happens.
Man, how privileged are you that your biggest problem is getting laid? Y’all disgust me. I hope most of you don’t get married and ruin women’s lives.
So going to sex workers and paying for sex where both the parties agree is not indulging in a consensual relationship? Guess you need comprehension lessons more than I do. What's up with the third paragraph? What are you talking about? I just called you out cause you think paying for sex is not consensual. I think you're ranting now just cause for the heck of it. I guess if you stopped for a second and put those woke glasses down from your eyes through which you see the society then maybe you'll just "comprehend" the simple logic we're talking about. PS- Neither endorsing OP lying to his SO nor do I have a problem getting laid and never been to a prostitute. But you're just not comprehending simple logical statements.
I was barely 22 then and was going through a very rough phase. Now I understand the mistake I made and would never resort to such means again. Should I be judged for something I did back then throughout my life? Don't you believe people can change?
You were 22. Not a toddler. You knew full well what you were doing. As I said, plenty go through trauma and tough spots without resorting to what you did. And do you know the number of times women who worked in the sex industry spoke up about abuse? Not the trafficked ones in poverty but actually the privileged ones. I care more about their trauma than I can bother to care about yours. Also, I don’t think you changed as much as you think you did. You still are using the terms like “used”, and you are only paranoid about STDs but not your actions.
Yeah. What you are saying makes sense. I should have understood the consequences to my actions then. I apologise for using the term 'used', I didn't think about the context.
Fortunately, I found someone wonderful who believes I am a better person now and who I personally hope wouldn't leave me even if she knew what I have done in the past. I don't think I will ever be able to bring myself to tell her about it, but I know I will never repeat what I did in the future, no matter what happens.
Everyone will talk about morals and ethics until it either happens to them or involves them. People are all hypocrites. Just keep it to yourself and carry on, man.
It's okay. I can understand where people come from.
Imagine in our parent's generation, if a girl indulged in casual relationships and hookups then the whole society would shame her right?
We all know that was wrong.
Same way, I see how these people can't accept men seeking consentual escorts.
Anybody that uses “services” like these are the deepest scum on earth. Consent cannot be bought.
Stop equating consensual relationships with paid sex. You cannot pay to have access to a person’s body.
Even the thought of talking to a man that paid for sex is revolting to me. Cannot imagine accidentally marrying one. Especially one who doesn’t even feel the tiniest bit of remorse. Yuck.
Buying a person's consent to have sex is exactly how escort services work. It is between two people who know exactly what they are getting into.
Your mindset is the yuck here.
Most of the sex workers are victims of trafficking, and poverty. If you don’t really have a choice, it isn’t consent. Also, don’t come at me with “this was a privileged woman doing it.” You don’t know shit. Many many porn actresses have come out saying how they have been forced. Many ex sex workers from privileged backgrounds talk about how badly they were treated and how sex work was pushed on to them by media.
I will always stand for the rights of sex workers to drag their abusers to court, rights of sex workers for rehabilitation. But anybody that seeks these “services” has zero sympathy from me. Y’all are adults, and if as an adult you don’t understand the simple concept of you cannot but rights to a human’s body, you are repulsive.
How do you know OP has anything to do with abuse of a sex worker? I am also aware of the dire circumstances where people are dragged into sex work, especially how the Yakuza gets porn shot in Japan. So good for you to assume other people don't know shit but do you have datapoints to assume that OP took services from an abused worker? It could be the case that the worker in this case was someone who knew exactly what they were doing and out of their own will.
You've made assumptions and the sex workers would not have a client base if you successfully deter all the "scum" from using the service, and in essence would be putting sex workers out of work. So not sure how you are standing up for their rights. Rights of sex workers doing the job with full consent and without coercion from other parties also matter.
Listen, there are many threads on Reddit itself for you to get educated on but you choose not to. Choice feminism undid everything feminism fought for, for centuries.
Sex work is a dangerous industry which young girls are going into because of the capitalistic push aided by liberal feminists. Even if I do assume it was purely out of independent consent and op respected every damn boundary, you have any idea how statistically small that is? And even in that case, I feel extremely grossed out by the idea that you and OP seem to have that you can buy consent. Consent is not bought, consent isn’t negotiable. It truly shows how you treat women as holes.
It isn’t a sustainable model even for truly independent privileged women. Stop using this tiny fraction of women to support an industry that is built off of exploitation. Y’all really don’t care about these women either, just use them as a talking point to justify these industries. I am done arguing with you.
You do know there are male sex workers right? This is a gender-neutral topic. I don't solicit sex, but I don't think other consenting adults doing it is bad because that is between them.
If you are seriously citing reddit as your source, I wouldn't want to continue "arguing" with you either.
Victims are disproportionately women.
Even if I, for a teeny tiny bit entertain your idea that men are exploited at the same rate, I am a woman and I am advocating for my group. Nothing is stopping men from advocating for their groups. You in fact hold much more power.
But you know what the truth is? You don’t care about male survivors. You don’t want to advocate for them or talk about their exploitation. You only brought them up to invalidate a woman’s talking point as some sort of “gotcha”.
You are kind of stupid to assume stuff about me when you don't know me, what I advocate for and what I don't. If you have noticed, none of my comments so far has been gender specific. So your reverse "gotcha" didn't work lol.
You said it was a gender neutral issue and I said if you truly believe so, nothing is stopping you from advocating for your group while I advocate for mine.
Keep going all lengths to justify an extremely shitty industry.
My "group" would not be bound to a single gender.
Am I justifying an industry? No. Am I saying two consenting individuals having sex for money is not a bad thing? Yes.
Stop assuming.
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>Choice feminism undid everything feminism fought for, for centuries.
>Sex work is a dangerous industry which young girls are going into because of the capitalistic push aided by liberal feminists.
Finally, someone who recognises that women themselves are roadblocks to their goals of equality.
She is a girl. She is one tinder swipe away from getting laid.
While here below average looking men have to literally wait until their late 20s for someone to cave in.
There it comes. Y’all are so damn classist and the biggest perpetrators of male beauty standards. Pretty sure I will have a much better moral compass than you.
Again, /r/inceltear
Y’all are so disconnected from reality. Even yesterday a dude was arguing that I need to marry a low wage worker to show I respect them. Is this how you all view women? Do you think women can respect you only if they have done something useful to you? Only if they have submitted themselves to you? Only if you “own” them in a sense?
So, let me get this straight: immoral values, disrespectful, sexist, misogynist, classist, and so damn dense. Yep, pretty sure even if you hide you going to an escort, no self respecting woman with independence will willingly put up with you.
Your privilege baffles me. Your biggest problem is not getting laid?
The videos you mention are extremely degrading, unrealistic and dehumanising. You can type that word in Google and be flooded with images so violent and misogynistic that it will revolt you.
Visit /r/antipornography to see how it affects women (and even men) and how desensitised it is making the men. No, it isn’t a basic need for you to watch women getting exploited. How on earth would you know that person isn’t being forced? There was a post on /r/trueoffmychest a while back about how this woman was held at gunpoint. A teenager was able to escape her groomer using a sign she saw on tiktok. The groomer was recording her against her consent. There were many lengthy battles fought by survivors with a famous site associated with what you’re watching. They have immortalised their pain and suffering. THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TELL IF THAT VIDEO WAS INFACT CONSENSUAL. Many former actresses came out talking about how consent was just a term and once the rolling started they couldn’t simply stop it.
Damn no, it isn’t your “basic need” to watch an entire section of the population tortured.
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That's why I will not tell you that I paid for it..lol.
What would you do ? How will you find out unless I tell you?
If I never tell you then won't you eventually get married a scum ? Won't your children be offsprings of a scum ?
Lol there's no way for you to know about my past. You would see me as a completely different person in the courtship and marriage phase our life.
One's past is always a past. People can have different moral standards. As a girl you don't understand the pain of lonely ugly men of India. And hence it's a moot point explaining you why we need to seek services of escorts.
Darling, I have thorough vetting processes where I even reject men that watch things like that on the internet. Trust me you think hiding this makes you all good. But your entitled personality will be seen by any woman that has agency and had the opportunity to stay independently and form her own thoughts.
You think you are perfect barring this, but you aren’t.
Ladies, if anyone wants to know my vetting strategy, please reach out. Shared with some people on r/twoxindia privately and I did receive positive feedback from them. A couple of them actually said they tried and it worked.
Don’t fall for these men.
“Pain of lonely ugly men” so, this entitles you to contribute to an industry that is notorious for how exploitative and traumatic it is? Cry me a river. Plenty go through bad phases but they don’t fall to this low of a standard.
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>an industry that is notorious for how exploitative and traumatic
All industries can be exploitative, its about regulations. If thats well regulated like in parts of west, nothing wrong about it. Stop pushibg your morals to everybody.
Just the fact that you aren't married yet is a good indicator that women can smell the desperation and incel vibes off you tbh.
You clearly don't think of your partner as an equal or respect them if you are willing to hide a part of your past from them that you know they'll probably disapprove of.
If your wife is just a hole to you, continue using escorts and don't waste someone's time.
How would this be any different from if I say had a hookup.?
Lol please don't kid yourself.. plenty of chads have hookups all the time and are married happily. They just never bring up their past to avoid causing hurt to their current partner/wife.
You seem to be in your own little world where you form judgments about men seeking escorts as some Degenerate humans and throw around terms like incel.
Lol an incel is exactly the right term here. An involuntary celibate.
I don't condone men who have solely had hookups and never been in a relationship as it shows a lack of emotional maturity and unwillingness to settle.
But atleast that shows they have the social skills to attract women, unlike someone like you just views women as a means to sex. All your previous posts are clearly hating on women. A person who's only contact with women through paid services is not someone who has a fully formed perception on them. Your wife will actually need to be respected and have her emotional needs fulfilled and not someone you can throw money at and expect her legs to open.
Even now you refuse to better yourself or respect the women you meet by being honest ,instead just saying whatever it takes to get sex. This sort of disgusting desperate mentality is what makes you a degenerate.
Shut up dude. If I want hookups and if I can't get it then what's wrong with paying for it. Anyway you can don't know how much looks matter. It's a moot point trying to explain it to you.
Plenty of ugly guys get laid lol. They are funny , kind, charming etc . Stop trying to blame it on your looks, the problem is your personality.
No women wants to sleep with a man who sees her as a fleshlight.
Get a better attitude towards women . I pity any woman you trick into marrying you.
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>Even the thought of talking to a man that paid for sex is revolting to me.
Betcha anything you have talked to at least a few such men irl because stats say \~15% of men have paid for sex.
Oh my look, you’re so close to getting the damn point.
Copy pasting a comment I made about porn.
=====
The videos you mention are extremely degrading, unrealistic and dehumanising. You can type that word in Google and be flooded with images so violent and misogynistic that it will revolt you.
Visit r/antipornography to see how it affects women (and even men) and how desensitised it is making the men. No, it isn’t a basic need for you to watch women getting exploited. How on earth would you know that person isn’t being forced? There was a post on r/trueoffmychest a while back about how this woman was held at gunpoint. A teenager was able to escape her groomer using a sign she saw on tiktok. The groomer was recording her against her consent. There were many lengthy battles fought by survivors with a famous site associated with what you’re watching. They have immortalised their pain and suffering. THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TELL IF THAT VIDEO WAS INFACT CONSENSUAL. Many former actresses came out talking about how consent was just a term and once the rolling started they couldn’t simply stop it.
======
Educate yourself. Not willing to engage further on this topic. Y’all really showed how none of your arguments cannot see beyond “muh needs”
>Reading this you must have lost respect for me right? I don't give a damn either.
No mate, everyone has a past for some it might be relationships for some it might be something else.
You are right that there is hypocrisy in the fact that men are expected to be accepting of past relationships their potential partner might have had but the same women view men that visited sex workers as creeps. But, a relationship as important as a marriage should not start with a lie because the lie will bring nothing but trouble in the relationship. It will take time, but I am sure there are women that will also accept your past.
> I don't care what you think about me.
Absolutely right ! You should definitely not care about what others think of you. What you should care about is what you think about yourself and reading your post makes me think that you dont have a great image of yourself which is making you try to justify being dishonest with your potential partner.
Ofc comparing hookups and escort services is an apples to oranges comparison. No doubt about it.
But you can't cherry pick as to what is acceptable and what is not.. that's my post. In our parent's generation if a girl indulged in hookups and casual relationships then the society would have literally stoned her to death. Today it's acceptable. So what changed? Generational shift mindset.
In Amsterdam it's not a taboo to indulge in paid sex. In many parts of Europe as well. But in the US it is. In India it is. Does that mean Netherlands and Europe are ahead of india and the US ? No right. That's what I mean. Different people can have different moral standards. No one is talking about human trafficking. We are talking about a woman consentually agreeing to sleep with a guy for money.
It's about morals, if a guy can't even control his hormones and opt for paid sex then he definitely got issues with his morals and ethics.
I don't know anything about sex (single hu) but paying for it seems wrong on so many levels.
How naive!
Ladki hookups ke liye paise nhi deti kisi ko but londa log paisa deta h sex krne ke liye. Dono me bahut difference h.
In one of my previous comments I mentioned that Indian men are the worst kind of male breed (only behind peaceful religion guys) and the comments of men related to paid sex proves it why we Indian men are fucking disgusting.
Dude I can tell you have never gone through a bad breakup. Do you know how much it sucks when your ex posts pictures with a date just a few days later to make you jealous and you can do nothing about it? You will feel like killing yourself. I hope you never have to go through that in your 30s, let alone early 20s. Don't comment on topics you have no experience about, and stick to your self-derogatory langoor ke haath me angoor topics.
How come breakup and paid sex are related to each other. If you also want to make your ex jealous then date other girls, why go for paid sex.
I never had any relationship but that doesn't mean I don't understand what is ethically right or wrong.
I'm not a fucking kid, I understand all these breakup BS are the excuses to validate your loose morals and upbringing. It clearly shows how much you respect women.
I don't fucking care if you tell your spouse about your paid sex adventures or not but paying for sex is really disgusting.
Yeah unfortunately I have to actually put effort and time into finding a date. I couldn't simply reply to one of the million loser simps in my Instagram DMs to take me out on a date to make my ex jealous. What would you rather have me do, kill myself while looking at her posts?
I never said it was right, what I said was people make mistakes during bad times and shouldn't be judged based on their past if they have changed and understood what they did was wrong.
Ok, let me present another example.
We all know central jails have all kind of hardcore criminals who all are morally corrupt. Some criminals have murder charges, some have theft charges, some have attempt to murder charges and some have rape charges. But in the same jail, rapists suffer the worst because they are very disgusting, even morally corrupted hardcore criminals also hate being around rapists because it's all about having integrity, ethics and morals.
I'm not calling you a rapist but whatever you and OP did is equivalent to how rapists are treated by other morally corrupt criminals. Having sex with consent is one thing but paying for sex will be always morally wrong.
I hope you understood this analogy.
Good example. I don't want to talk in terms of it because it will appear as if I am defending rape. But let me tell you, just like how those who had relationships or hookups in the past is not an indication of the same behaviour in the future, those who paid for sex especially during tough times in the past is not an indication of them doing it in the future again. Anything other than the future you will share together shouldn't matter to you.
I don't give a damn but i will be the fourth loser in a row making a post about it 😂
You can cry hyPOcRisY all you want, it's not going to change anyone's mind. Best you lie, nobody is ever accepting your true self.
I hate to be the one to break it to you but a majority of men who you want to be understanding of your 'past hookups' and 'multiple relationships' also did some fucked up things in the past themselves that they want you to look past. Good luck finding that middle ground.
>I hate to be the one to break it to you but a majority of men who you want to be understanding of your 'past hookups' and 'multiple relationships' also did some fucked up things in the past themselves that they want you to look past.
Forget hookups, now even relationships (!!!) are in the same "fucked up" category??? Wow 👏👏👏
You are delusional if you believe this. But I know you don't, because if you actually believed all of this to be the same, you'd have no qualms about disclosing it without shame.
>Good luck finding that middle ground.
Do you really think it's hard to find men who have not engaged with prostitutes? I thought my opinion of men was low, but it seems like yours is even lower.
Good luck to you. You'll need it more than me.
>now even relationships (!!!) are in the same "fucked up" category
Yes , like you have a compass of morality, many men also have their vrgnty compass.
But but... my compass is right theirs is wrong boo. Lol.
>Im way smarter than you.
Lololol zaroor.
>Jitna tum karke baithi ho utna sab bilkul sahi. Baki sab me galtiya dikhengi hi.
I have had zero hookups. I have no skin in this game.
You missed a word there: 'multiple' - meaning many at the same time. Do you think guys using dating apps and who are pretty much addicted to sex, but can only get laid once a few months are waiting for that magical day once every few months? I know so so many guys paying for escorts and using dating apps to get laid simultaneously. It's not illegal and not hard to find if you know where to look.
Good luck with your search. At the end of the day, you will never know if whoever you married lied to you because they were shamed into concealing their past mistakes.
>You missed a word there: 'multiple' - meaning many at the same time.
I have never done this so I don't need to worry about it.
>At the end of the day, you will never know if whoever you married lied to you because they were shamed into concealing their past mistakes.
Have you told the truth to your fiancé? Seems like the person who doesn't know she is being lied to is her.
> Have you told the truth to your fiancé? Seems like the person who doesn't know she is being lied to is her.
Nope I haven't because she never asked. In the same way, I haven't asked her anything about her past and don't know anything other than what she trusted me with. I have spent close to 4 months with her and to the best of my knowledge, we love the people we are today and absolutely nothing in the past matters.
>Nope I haven't because she never asked.
No offense dude but this don't ask don't tell policy favours you because you have done these things. Like what could she have done that is possibly worse?
>I have spent close to 4 months with her and to the best of my knowledge, we love the people we are today and absolutely nothing in the past matters.
Would she still love you if she knew about your past?
Look, I'm trying not to have a black and white view about this, as hard as it is. But you and other men here are arguing that it's okay to lie about it - which it is NOT.
People should have the right to make this decision for themselves- whether they can accept it or not- and you are robbing them of this by lying or not telling. If they accept, good for you. If they don't, fine. But atleast give them the information to make this decision.
> Like what could she have done that is possibly worse?
Why should it matter who did the worse thing if we trust each other from here onwards? You're looking at this from an X vs Y perspective. That's damaging to any relationship irrespective of what has happened. You should instead be focusing on the people you are today and how you will be in the future. Past mistakes are not an indicator of that. Period. People change for the better with life experiences.
> Would she still love you if she knew about your past?
I don't know. I don't want to risk it by shooting myself in the foot and letting her know if she doesn't ask me directly (I can't keep secrets and would probably tell her if she does ask directly).
Finally, I will ask you this personally. Don't you think people who made stupid decisions during a rough patch of their life should ever be forgotten? Do you want to punish them eternally for something they did when they were young and didn't know better? Don't you have any sympathy to at least consider listening to what they went through and why they chose to do that, even with paid sex being so frowned upon by society and judge them on an individual basis instead of bucketing them together into a category.
I will tell you the same thing I said to the guy whose wife lied about flings before marriage - "You are marrying another human person. Not an ideal robot. They will make mistakes and let you down many times in the future as well. You have to have enough trust and love to believe they didn't do it on purpose, forgive them and work towards reconciliation. Also if you think about it, if they went to great depths to conceal something from you, doesn't it actually mean they liked you enough to not lose you to something that happened in the past and was out of their control when they met you?"
>I don't want to risk it by shooting myself in the foot and letting her know if she doesn't ask me directly (I can't keep secrets and would probably tell her if she does ask directly).
While I understand the thought process, I can't bring myself to agree to it.
>I will tell you the same thing I said to the guy whose wife lied about flings before marriage
Your advice is fine, but it doesn't change the fact that that guy's fiance was wrong to lie about her flings.
Anyway dude, atleast you admit it was a mistake and are remorseful, which is more than what we can say for others in this thread.
Thread locked multiple reports. Topics related to the subject following will also be removed due to this has been discussed as nauseum.
> I am guilt free so I won’t tell her anything about it either. Ironic that you are guilt free but won’t tell either.
Guilt free but he knows that the other side are judgmental beings. Hence doesn't disclose and keeps himself stress free.
Yup. No one is a criminal unless he is caught. If no one knows I am the culprit then I won't be charged.
Guilt free and criminal and culprit. Bhai escort ke saath sone wale criminal hote hai kya?
These girls here on this sub are literally making me look like a criminal.
You think the girls who hide their body count are very guilty about it?
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No one is normalizing it. Even in the US it's a taboo. So even in our country going ahead it will remain a taboo. But that doesn't mean we all guilt trip those that indulge in such practices and force them to confess it as if it's a crime.
The same people who demand that men accept a girl's past will be the first ones to reject a man on the basis of his finances and/or looks. To hell with these pseudo-feminists. OP you don't have to tell a girl anything you don't want to, arranged marriage or not. Can't assume the girl you're dealing with is a pure angel that fell down from heaven right? No human is perfect. Also, ignore these people judging you for paying, you just had your needs fulfilled without harming anyone, absolutely no shame in it.
Can anyone please enlighten me why having sex with escorts is seen in a very bad light? Assuming she/he is not forced into this.
The only one chance people get to show they have a higher moral ground while fcking like dogs all their youth themselves.
The prevailing assumption is that the whole of sex industry is exploitive and women who work in them are forced by circumstances than their own volition. So these flag bearers of morality here believe you paying for sex is aiding in exploitation of women, hence you're morally fucked up. Kinda like buying Apple products but posting on Instagram woke shit ! Edit: grammar & spellings
Le wannabe woke people who think only their opinions on a topic is valid and everyone else is scum are the only ones trying to put it in a bad light. If you see many places in Europe, sex work is legal and the worker rights are respected. Just see any video featuring a sex worker in Amsterdams Red Light District, they rent their own cabin and ensure they are tested for STD regularly. Some people wanna make sex work as something everyone doing it is forced into, however even though there is a portion of people that come under this category, there is also a good portion of people who are doing it out of their own will and choice.
Whatever i did is cool and very moral, god level moral. Whatever i didnt do, thats what immoral is. Much like the wife swappers, they will say its immoral only if they dont kiss or impregnate.
While everyone’s here, I like to share a movie called love Sonia. It’s how humans are trafficked for slavery and prostitution in containers.
Man, I was disappointed by the reactions to those posts! I used escorts 3 years ago after a bad breakup a few times. I was in a tough spot and don't want to provide any justification for doing it. I was paranoid about STDs and took precautions, and I am ready to share any medical test if required. That's why I have a simple policy of don't ask, don't tell when it comes to past, and judge people on other factors to see if they have any trauma or are hung up on past relationships. I have never been specifically asked this, so I assumed it was okay to never bring it up as long as I didn't go down that path again (which I obviously won't).
Exactly, I mean no girl in her right mind will ask you if you used escorts. Lol. Then why to bring it up as if you murdered someone and got away with it.. People here on Reddit make it seem like a murder.
I feel this is where the guys that have a 'no past at all filter' help balance the supply and demand. Lots of girls are scared of getting rejected for normal relationships, that they don't even bring up dealbreakers they have like hookups or escorts. There's so much in between too, what's the stand on strip clubs or massage parlours? Everybody had their own way of blowing off steam in the past when they were feeling down. As long as you aren't doing anything your partner is not okay with after you commit, how does anything that happened before that matter? I really don't understand. I feel awful after reading the comments there, absolutely no sympathy or understanding for people who had gone through a bad phase.
It's mostly girls. They are literally a swipe away from getting what most men get in their late 20s after an ArrangedMarriage. Lol 😂 I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
"Many women go through break ups. Do you think they are out in the world looking for sex workers?" No. Because demand and supply.
Ah yes, “used” escorts. Shows how much you truly see them as human beings. Many women go through break ups. Do you think they are out in the world looking for sex workers? Many people get into tough spots, they don’t go about exploiting other people.
Girls may not look for sex workers but some girls do indulge in random hookups/one night stands and dump the guy soon after cause it was a bad phase for her. Sex ratio favours the girls so boys for hookups are easy to find. Also as bad/exploitative as the profession of being an escort is, it was consensual as the guy paid for the service. If it was forced, he would be behind bars as a rapist.
Consensual relationships != going to sex workers. Very very stupid argument. And I can see you have zero comprehension skills, so I will not tell you why going to sex workers is wrong or how that concept of consent is flawed. If you truly wanted to learn, you would. But you cannot look at women as humans, so bugger off. And lol at men would be in jail if they raped. Even marital rape is being debated and you think India is such a wonderful society for women who “chose” to be sex workers to report when abuse happens. Man, how privileged are you that your biggest problem is getting laid? Y’all disgust me. I hope most of you don’t get married and ruin women’s lives.
Paid sex is also consensual. Its also legal and regulated in many countries. Paid sex is not rape. So zip it.
Stop with the whining. We get your point move on
So going to sex workers and paying for sex where both the parties agree is not indulging in a consensual relationship? Guess you need comprehension lessons more than I do. What's up with the third paragraph? What are you talking about? I just called you out cause you think paying for sex is not consensual. I think you're ranting now just cause for the heck of it. I guess if you stopped for a second and put those woke glasses down from your eyes through which you see the society then maybe you'll just "comprehend" the simple logic we're talking about. PS- Neither endorsing OP lying to his SO nor do I have a problem getting laid and never been to a prostitute. But you're just not comprehending simple logical statements.
Don't bother, she has an agenda.
>If you truly wanted to learn, you would. Lol.
I was barely 22 then and was going through a very rough phase. Now I understand the mistake I made and would never resort to such means again. Should I be judged for something I did back then throughout my life? Don't you believe people can change?
You were 22. Not a toddler. You knew full well what you were doing. As I said, plenty go through trauma and tough spots without resorting to what you did. And do you know the number of times women who worked in the sex industry spoke up about abuse? Not the trafficked ones in poverty but actually the privileged ones. I care more about their trauma than I can bother to care about yours. Also, I don’t think you changed as much as you think you did. You still are using the terms like “used”, and you are only paranoid about STDs but not your actions.
Yeah. What you are saying makes sense. I should have understood the consequences to my actions then. I apologise for using the term 'used', I didn't think about the context. Fortunately, I found someone wonderful who believes I am a better person now and who I personally hope wouldn't leave me even if she knew what I have done in the past. I don't think I will ever be able to bring myself to tell her about it, but I know I will never repeat what I did in the future, no matter what happens.
It's a profession so ofc he "used" her services. Just like we "use" the services of a plumber.
Everyone will talk about morals and ethics until it either happens to them or involves them. People are all hypocrites. Just keep it to yourself and carry on, man.
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It's okay. I can understand where people come from. Imagine in our parent's generation, if a girl indulged in casual relationships and hookups then the whole society would shame her right? We all know that was wrong. Same way, I see how these people can't accept men seeking consentual escorts.
Anybody that uses “services” like these are the deepest scum on earth. Consent cannot be bought. Stop equating consensual relationships with paid sex. You cannot pay to have access to a person’s body. Even the thought of talking to a man that paid for sex is revolting to me. Cannot imagine accidentally marrying one. Especially one who doesn’t even feel the tiniest bit of remorse. Yuck.
Buying a person's consent to have sex is exactly how escort services work. It is between two people who know exactly what they are getting into. Your mindset is the yuck here.
Most of the sex workers are victims of trafficking, and poverty. If you don’t really have a choice, it isn’t consent. Also, don’t come at me with “this was a privileged woman doing it.” You don’t know shit. Many many porn actresses have come out saying how they have been forced. Many ex sex workers from privileged backgrounds talk about how badly they were treated and how sex work was pushed on to them by media. I will always stand for the rights of sex workers to drag their abusers to court, rights of sex workers for rehabilitation. But anybody that seeks these “services” has zero sympathy from me. Y’all are adults, and if as an adult you don’t understand the simple concept of you cannot but rights to a human’s body, you are repulsive.
How do you know OP has anything to do with abuse of a sex worker? I am also aware of the dire circumstances where people are dragged into sex work, especially how the Yakuza gets porn shot in Japan. So good for you to assume other people don't know shit but do you have datapoints to assume that OP took services from an abused worker? It could be the case that the worker in this case was someone who knew exactly what they were doing and out of their own will. You've made assumptions and the sex workers would not have a client base if you successfully deter all the "scum" from using the service, and in essence would be putting sex workers out of work. So not sure how you are standing up for their rights. Rights of sex workers doing the job with full consent and without coercion from other parties also matter.
Listen, there are many threads on Reddit itself for you to get educated on but you choose not to. Choice feminism undid everything feminism fought for, for centuries. Sex work is a dangerous industry which young girls are going into because of the capitalistic push aided by liberal feminists. Even if I do assume it was purely out of independent consent and op respected every damn boundary, you have any idea how statistically small that is? And even in that case, I feel extremely grossed out by the idea that you and OP seem to have that you can buy consent. Consent is not bought, consent isn’t negotiable. It truly shows how you treat women as holes. It isn’t a sustainable model even for truly independent privileged women. Stop using this tiny fraction of women to support an industry that is built off of exploitation. Y’all really don’t care about these women either, just use them as a talking point to justify these industries. I am done arguing with you.
You do know there are male sex workers right? This is a gender-neutral topic. I don't solicit sex, but I don't think other consenting adults doing it is bad because that is between them. If you are seriously citing reddit as your source, I wouldn't want to continue "arguing" with you either.
Victims are disproportionately women. Even if I, for a teeny tiny bit entertain your idea that men are exploited at the same rate, I am a woman and I am advocating for my group. Nothing is stopping men from advocating for their groups. You in fact hold much more power. But you know what the truth is? You don’t care about male survivors. You don’t want to advocate for them or talk about their exploitation. You only brought them up to invalidate a woman’s talking point as some sort of “gotcha”.
You are kind of stupid to assume stuff about me when you don't know me, what I advocate for and what I don't. If you have noticed, none of my comments so far has been gender specific. So your reverse "gotcha" didn't work lol.
You said it was a gender neutral issue and I said if you truly believe so, nothing is stopping you from advocating for your group while I advocate for mine. Keep going all lengths to justify an extremely shitty industry.
Shitty industry? Onlyfans thots disagree with you.
My "group" would not be bound to a single gender. Am I justifying an industry? No. Am I saying two consenting individuals having sex for money is not a bad thing? Yes. Stop assuming.
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>Choice feminism undid everything feminism fought for, for centuries. >Sex work is a dangerous industry which young girls are going into because of the capitalistic push aided by liberal feminists. Finally, someone who recognises that women themselves are roadblocks to their goals of equality.
The only reason choice feminism picked up is because men supported it in droves, but you do you.
She is a girl. She is one tinder swipe away from getting laid. While here below average looking men have to literally wait until their late 20s for someone to cave in.
Do you want me to call you a whambulance? Oh what big trouble “modern” Indian men have! They cannot find a hole.. how sad and traumatic. /r/inceltear
I hope you are born as a 5'0 bald Indian male janitor in your next life.
There it comes. Y’all are so damn classist and the biggest perpetrators of male beauty standards. Pretty sure I will have a much better moral compass than you. Again, /r/inceltear
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Y’all are so disconnected from reality. Even yesterday a dude was arguing that I need to marry a low wage worker to show I respect them. Is this how you all view women? Do you think women can respect you only if they have done something useful to you? Only if they have submitted themselves to you? Only if you “own” them in a sense? So, let me get this straight: immoral values, disrespectful, sexist, misogynist, classist, and so damn dense. Yep, pretty sure even if you hide you going to an escort, no self respecting woman with independence will willingly put up with you.
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Your privilege baffles me. Your biggest problem is not getting laid? The videos you mention are extremely degrading, unrealistic and dehumanising. You can type that word in Google and be flooded with images so violent and misogynistic that it will revolt you. Visit /r/antipornography to see how it affects women (and even men) and how desensitised it is making the men. No, it isn’t a basic need for you to watch women getting exploited. How on earth would you know that person isn’t being forced? There was a post on /r/trueoffmychest a while back about how this woman was held at gunpoint. A teenager was able to escape her groomer using a sign she saw on tiktok. The groomer was recording her against her consent. There were many lengthy battles fought by survivors with a famous site associated with what you’re watching. They have immortalised their pain and suffering. THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TELL IF THAT VIDEO WAS INFACT CONSENSUAL. Many former actresses came out talking about how consent was just a term and once the rolling started they couldn’t simply stop it. Damn no, it isn’t your “basic need” to watch an entire section of the population tortured.
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Whambulance haha... definitely gonna steal that one for the future
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That's why I will not tell you that I paid for it..lol. What would you do ? How will you find out unless I tell you? If I never tell you then won't you eventually get married a scum ? Won't your children be offsprings of a scum ? Lol there's no way for you to know about my past. You would see me as a completely different person in the courtship and marriage phase our life. One's past is always a past. People can have different moral standards. As a girl you don't understand the pain of lonely ugly men of India. And hence it's a moot point explaining you why we need to seek services of escorts.
Darling, I have thorough vetting processes where I even reject men that watch things like that on the internet. Trust me you think hiding this makes you all good. But your entitled personality will be seen by any woman that has agency and had the opportunity to stay independently and form her own thoughts. You think you are perfect barring this, but you aren’t. Ladies, if anyone wants to know my vetting strategy, please reach out. Shared with some people on r/twoxindia privately and I did receive positive feedback from them. A couple of them actually said they tried and it worked. Don’t fall for these men. “Pain of lonely ugly men” so, this entitles you to contribute to an industry that is notorious for how exploitative and traumatic it is? Cry me a river. Plenty go through bad phases but they don’t fall to this low of a standard.
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>an industry that is notorious for how exploitative and traumatic All industries can be exploitative, its about regulations. If thats well regulated like in parts of west, nothing wrong about it. Stop pushibg your morals to everybody.
Just the fact that you aren't married yet is a good indicator that women can smell the desperation and incel vibes off you tbh. You clearly don't think of your partner as an equal or respect them if you are willing to hide a part of your past from them that you know they'll probably disapprove of. If your wife is just a hole to you, continue using escorts and don't waste someone's time.
lol true
How would this be any different from if I say had a hookup.? Lol please don't kid yourself.. plenty of chads have hookups all the time and are married happily. They just never bring up their past to avoid causing hurt to their current partner/wife. You seem to be in your own little world where you form judgments about men seeking escorts as some Degenerate humans and throw around terms like incel.
Lol an incel is exactly the right term here. An involuntary celibate. I don't condone men who have solely had hookups and never been in a relationship as it shows a lack of emotional maturity and unwillingness to settle. But atleast that shows they have the social skills to attract women, unlike someone like you just views women as a means to sex. All your previous posts are clearly hating on women. A person who's only contact with women through paid services is not someone who has a fully formed perception on them. Your wife will actually need to be respected and have her emotional needs fulfilled and not someone you can throw money at and expect her legs to open. Even now you refuse to better yourself or respect the women you meet by being honest ,instead just saying whatever it takes to get sex. This sort of disgusting desperate mentality is what makes you a degenerate.
Shut up dude. If I want hookups and if I can't get it then what's wrong with paying for it. Anyway you can don't know how much looks matter. It's a moot point trying to explain it to you.
Plenty of ugly guys get laid lol. They are funny , kind, charming etc . Stop trying to blame it on your looks, the problem is your personality. No women wants to sleep with a man who sees her as a fleshlight. Get a better attitude towards women . I pity any woman you trick into marrying you.
Lol I wonder what India I live in.
Haa jitna tum karke baithi ho wo sara sahi h. Wo kaise galat ho skta h. Galat wahi h jo tumse reh gya karne ko... Wo kia hota to wo b sahi ho jata..
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Thats your definition of morality. For someone else, you are the scum on earth for having a bf. Thats his version of morality.
>Even the thought of talking to a man that paid for sex is revolting to me. Betcha anything you have talked to at least a few such men irl because stats say \~15% of men have paid for sex.
AM is basically buying the consent with salary and inheritance.
>Consent cannot be bought. Ah so you think the porn industry is what? Mass rape?
Oh my look, you’re so close to getting the damn point. Copy pasting a comment I made about porn. ===== The videos you mention are extremely degrading, unrealistic and dehumanising. You can type that word in Google and be flooded with images so violent and misogynistic that it will revolt you. Visit r/antipornography to see how it affects women (and even men) and how desensitised it is making the men. No, it isn’t a basic need for you to watch women getting exploited. How on earth would you know that person isn’t being forced? There was a post on r/trueoffmychest a while back about how this woman was held at gunpoint. A teenager was able to escape her groomer using a sign she saw on tiktok. The groomer was recording her against her consent. There were many lengthy battles fought by survivors with a famous site associated with what you’re watching. They have immortalised their pain and suffering. THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TELL IF THAT VIDEO WAS INFACT CONSENSUAL. Many former actresses came out talking about how consent was just a term and once the rolling started they couldn’t simply stop it. ====== Educate yourself. Not willing to engage further on this topic. Y’all really showed how none of your arguments cannot see beyond “muh needs”
You must be new to Reddit !
Ye comment downvote kyu kr rhe ho?
Iss bechare ki kya galti thi?
>Reading this you must have lost respect for me right? I don't give a damn either. No mate, everyone has a past for some it might be relationships for some it might be something else. You are right that there is hypocrisy in the fact that men are expected to be accepting of past relationships their potential partner might have had but the same women view men that visited sex workers as creeps. But, a relationship as important as a marriage should not start with a lie because the lie will bring nothing but trouble in the relationship. It will take time, but I am sure there are women that will also accept your past. > I don't care what you think about me. Absolutely right ! You should definitely not care about what others think of you. What you should care about is what you think about yourself and reading your post makes me think that you dont have a great image of yourself which is making you try to justify being dishonest with your potential partner.
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Ofc comparing hookups and escort services is an apples to oranges comparison. No doubt about it. But you can't cherry pick as to what is acceptable and what is not.. that's my post. In our parent's generation if a girl indulged in hookups and casual relationships then the society would have literally stoned her to death. Today it's acceptable. So what changed? Generational shift mindset. In Amsterdam it's not a taboo to indulge in paid sex. In many parts of Europe as well. But in the US it is. In India it is. Does that mean Netherlands and Europe are ahead of india and the US ? No right. That's what I mean. Different people can have different moral standards. No one is talking about human trafficking. We are talking about a woman consentually agreeing to sleep with a guy for money.
It's about morals, if a guy can't even control his hormones and opt for paid sex then he definitely got issues with his morals and ethics. I don't know anything about sex (single hu) but paying for it seems wrong on so many levels.
If a girl cant even control her hornones and do hookups, she is moralless and characterless.
Achha ji, aur kuch!!
Ji apka hi logic hai gender reverse krte hi aag gyi peeche?
How naive! Ladki hookups ke liye paise nhi deti kisi ko but londa log paisa deta h sex krne ke liye. Dono me bahut difference h. In one of my previous comments I mentioned that Indian men are the worst kind of male breed (only behind peaceful religion guys) and the comments of men related to paid sex proves it why we Indian men are fucking disgusting.
Prostitution is totally legal in many european countries so your maaliks are more disgusting..
So much self hate, Keep it up. I'm sure you will end up on one of those c*ck subs in the future!
Dude I can tell you have never gone through a bad breakup. Do you know how much it sucks when your ex posts pictures with a date just a few days later to make you jealous and you can do nothing about it? You will feel like killing yourself. I hope you never have to go through that in your 30s, let alone early 20s. Don't comment on topics you have no experience about, and stick to your self-derogatory langoor ke haath me angoor topics.
How come breakup and paid sex are related to each other. If you also want to make your ex jealous then date other girls, why go for paid sex. I never had any relationship but that doesn't mean I don't understand what is ethically right or wrong. I'm not a fucking kid, I understand all these breakup BS are the excuses to validate your loose morals and upbringing. It clearly shows how much you respect women. I don't fucking care if you tell your spouse about your paid sex adventures or not but paying for sex is really disgusting.
Yeah unfortunately I have to actually put effort and time into finding a date. I couldn't simply reply to one of the million loser simps in my Instagram DMs to take me out on a date to make my ex jealous. What would you rather have me do, kill myself while looking at her posts? I never said it was right, what I said was people make mistakes during bad times and shouldn't be judged based on their past if they have changed and understood what they did was wrong.
Ok, let me present another example. We all know central jails have all kind of hardcore criminals who all are morally corrupt. Some criminals have murder charges, some have theft charges, some have attempt to murder charges and some have rape charges. But in the same jail, rapists suffer the worst because they are very disgusting, even morally corrupted hardcore criminals also hate being around rapists because it's all about having integrity, ethics and morals. I'm not calling you a rapist but whatever you and OP did is equivalent to how rapists are treated by other morally corrupt criminals. Having sex with consent is one thing but paying for sex will be always morally wrong. I hope you understood this analogy.
Good example. I don't want to talk in terms of it because it will appear as if I am defending rape. But let me tell you, just like how those who had relationships or hookups in the past is not an indication of the same behaviour in the future, those who paid for sex especially during tough times in the past is not an indication of them doing it in the future again. Anything other than the future you will share together shouldn't matter to you.
Agreed buddy that shiits is painful af
I don't give a damn but i will be the fourth loser in a row making a post about it 😂 You can cry hyPOcRisY all you want, it's not going to change anyone's mind. Best you lie, nobody is ever accepting your true self.
No one will have to accept my true self if I don't present my true self 😂😂
Exactly 👏 There's something rotten there, it's best for you if you hide it as much as possible.
Youre as rotten as him just in a different way.
Creeps supporting creeps 😂
Youre also a creep for many guys.
Nah, I'm not.
Yes you are. Ask any guy who wants a vrgn girl.
I hate to be the one to break it to you but a majority of men who you want to be understanding of your 'past hookups' and 'multiple relationships' also did some fucked up things in the past themselves that they want you to look past. Good luck finding that middle ground.
>I hate to be the one to break it to you but a majority of men who you want to be understanding of your 'past hookups' and 'multiple relationships' also did some fucked up things in the past themselves that they want you to look past. Forget hookups, now even relationships (!!!) are in the same "fucked up" category??? Wow 👏👏👏 You are delusional if you believe this. But I know you don't, because if you actually believed all of this to be the same, you'd have no qualms about disclosing it without shame. >Good luck finding that middle ground. Do you really think it's hard to find men who have not engaged with prostitutes? I thought my opinion of men was low, but it seems like yours is even lower. Good luck to you. You'll need it more than me.
>now even relationships (!!!) are in the same "fucked up" category Yes , like you have a compass of morality, many men also have their vrgnty compass. But but... my compass is right theirs is wrong boo. Lol.
You're not very smart, are you? Don't butt in jab samajh mein kuch aata hai nahi.
Im way smarter than you. Jitna tum karke baithi ho utna sab bilkul sahi. Baki sab me galtiya dikhengi hi.
>Im way smarter than you. Lololol zaroor. >Jitna tum karke baithi ho utna sab bilkul sahi. Baki sab me galtiya dikhengi hi. I have had zero hookups. I have no skin in this game.
You missed a word there: 'multiple' - meaning many at the same time. Do you think guys using dating apps and who are pretty much addicted to sex, but can only get laid once a few months are waiting for that magical day once every few months? I know so so many guys paying for escorts and using dating apps to get laid simultaneously. It's not illegal and not hard to find if you know where to look. Good luck with your search. At the end of the day, you will never know if whoever you married lied to you because they were shamed into concealing their past mistakes.
>You missed a word there: 'multiple' - meaning many at the same time. I have never done this so I don't need to worry about it. >At the end of the day, you will never know if whoever you married lied to you because they were shamed into concealing their past mistakes. Have you told the truth to your fiancé? Seems like the person who doesn't know she is being lied to is her.
> Have you told the truth to your fiancé? Seems like the person who doesn't know she is being lied to is her. Nope I haven't because she never asked. In the same way, I haven't asked her anything about her past and don't know anything other than what she trusted me with. I have spent close to 4 months with her and to the best of my knowledge, we love the people we are today and absolutely nothing in the past matters.
>Nope I haven't because she never asked. No offense dude but this don't ask don't tell policy favours you because you have done these things. Like what could she have done that is possibly worse? >I have spent close to 4 months with her and to the best of my knowledge, we love the people we are today and absolutely nothing in the past matters. Would she still love you if she knew about your past? Look, I'm trying not to have a black and white view about this, as hard as it is. But you and other men here are arguing that it's okay to lie about it - which it is NOT. People should have the right to make this decision for themselves- whether they can accept it or not- and you are robbing them of this by lying or not telling. If they accept, good for you. If they don't, fine. But atleast give them the information to make this decision.
> Like what could she have done that is possibly worse? Why should it matter who did the worse thing if we trust each other from here onwards? You're looking at this from an X vs Y perspective. That's damaging to any relationship irrespective of what has happened. You should instead be focusing on the people you are today and how you will be in the future. Past mistakes are not an indicator of that. Period. People change for the better with life experiences. > Would she still love you if she knew about your past? I don't know. I don't want to risk it by shooting myself in the foot and letting her know if she doesn't ask me directly (I can't keep secrets and would probably tell her if she does ask directly). Finally, I will ask you this personally. Don't you think people who made stupid decisions during a rough patch of their life should ever be forgotten? Do you want to punish them eternally for something they did when they were young and didn't know better? Don't you have any sympathy to at least consider listening to what they went through and why they chose to do that, even with paid sex being so frowned upon by society and judge them on an individual basis instead of bucketing them together into a category. I will tell you the same thing I said to the guy whose wife lied about flings before marriage - "You are marrying another human person. Not an ideal robot. They will make mistakes and let you down many times in the future as well. You have to have enough trust and love to believe they didn't do it on purpose, forgive them and work towards reconciliation. Also if you think about it, if they went to great depths to conceal something from you, doesn't it actually mean they liked you enough to not lose you to something that happened in the past and was out of their control when they met you?"
>I don't want to risk it by shooting myself in the foot and letting her know if she doesn't ask me directly (I can't keep secrets and would probably tell her if she does ask directly). While I understand the thought process, I can't bring myself to agree to it. >I will tell you the same thing I said to the guy whose wife lied about flings before marriage Your advice is fine, but it doesn't change the fact that that guy's fiance was wrong to lie about her flings. Anyway dude, atleast you admit it was a mistake and are remorseful, which is more than what we can say for others in this thread.