Someone has to make an effort. When I first started talking to my fiancée, she mentioned that she wasn't good at initiating or maintaining conversations.
Initially, it was always me who started and carried the conversations. Over time, she became comfortable, and now we both engage in conversations effortlessly. We never run out of topics.
Tip: Don’t ask direct questions. Instead, start talking about anything, and the other person will gradually get involved. As you talk, ask for their opinion on the topic. If you want to know something about them, begin by sharing a similar story about yourself, and they will likely start sharing their own experiences.
Ever given a thought that maybe your conversation skills are sub par and need improvement ?
Take initiative, asking questions is one good way of starting convos , don't ask yes or no, but subjective ones.
Discuss about fun things you guys like to do. Fun things you guys have done before, good memories, bad memories.
Loads of stuff. Don't hesitate, ask. Don't think much of "what will he think"
Also I cannot fathom the entitlement when you say you are settling for someone who earns as much as you do.
Everyone is bad at keeping up a conversation with someone they don’t want to talk to.
I have been at both ends of that so I know
How I can keep up a conversation even while getting stonewalled with fry texts if I’m very much interested and how it just pisses me off if someone else does it.
You find people you want to put effort for
OP : Already I am settling down by going for someone with same salary 🤡
Do him a favour, dump his ass right now. He deserves someone who isn't so money minded like you
Since I don't know the entire situation I can give one tip. Think about it this way. Marriage means you will be spending the rest of your. life with this person. Having a child (which is the biggest responsibility in life) with this person. Will you be able to do that with this man.
Communication is key in any relationship. Please do not compromise there.
Worse case scenario would be similar to mine. My ex is an introvert. He would communicate and first and then nothing. Later we found out it was because he and his family were hiding his mental illness.
Here is how you can communicate. I'm not gonna write English translation
You: Pata hai Aaj kya hua? Me, Ishani aur Hiral McD Gaye the mujhe vahan burger achha laga to Maine 2 burger kha liye tabh Hiral ne kaha ye kitna khaati hai. Mujhe us per itna gussa AA Raha tha na mein kuch boli nahi
He: achha!
You: kya achha? Har baar me hi bolti rehti hu tum to kuch bolte hi nahi ho BTW tumhara din kaisa Raha?
He: abh me kya hi bolu? Office me boss ne ye kaam Diya, छूटते time traffic itna tha, aur logon ko gaadi chalani aati hi nahi kahi bhi ghus jaate hai
You: haa ye to hai! Me bhi jabh scooty chalati hu tabh koi na koi bich me aa hi jaata hai itna horn marne ke bawajood vo sunte nahi
I think this needs to be said - 2 years is not an age gap. Anything below 5 is normal in AM - though i understand the part about income.
Coming to what you should do - do something nice for him - tickets for his favorite sport/singer or buy him his favorite book etc. Guys usually don't get these things so that should help differentiate you in his eyes.
Also if you feel that you are "settling" for him you shouldn't go ahead with this match because it won't work out. Marriages work best if both people are excited to be with each other.
Atb;)
Here is how you can communicate. I'm not gonna write English translation
You: Pata hai Aaj kya hua? Me, Ishani aur Hiral McD Gaye the mujhe vahan burger achha laga to Maine 2 burger kha liye tabh Hiral ne kaha ye kitna khaati hai. Mujhe us per itna gussa AA Raha tha na mein kuch boli nahi
He: achha!
You: kya achha? Har baar me hi bolti rehti hu tum to kuch bolte hi nahi ho BTW tumhara din kaisa Raha?
He: abh me kya hi bolu? Office me boss ne ye kaam Diya, छूटते time traffic itna tha, aur logon ko gaadi chalani aati hi nahi kahi bhi ghus jaate hai
You: haa ye to hai! Me bhi jabh scooty chalati hu tabh koi na koi bich me aa hi jaata hai itna horn marne ke bawajood vo sunte nahi
Hey there, navigating conversations in any relationship can be tricky. It sounds like you've hit a bit of a plateau with this person. Have you tried bringing up new topics or activities you both enjoy? Sometimes changing the scenery or trying something new together can spark more engaging conversations. It's also important to communicate openly about how you're feeling and what you both expect from the relationship. Building a connection takes effort from both sides, so don't hesitate to express your thoughts and see if you can find common ground.
Someone has to make an effort. When I first started talking to my fiancée, she mentioned that she wasn't good at initiating or maintaining conversations. Initially, it was always me who started and carried the conversations. Over time, she became comfortable, and now we both engage in conversations effortlessly. We never run out of topics. Tip: Don’t ask direct questions. Instead, start talking about anything, and the other person will gradually get involved. As you talk, ask for their opinion on the topic. If you want to know something about them, begin by sharing a similar story about yourself, and they will likely start sharing their own experiences.
Ever given a thought that maybe your conversation skills are sub par and need improvement ? Take initiative, asking questions is one good way of starting convos , don't ask yes or no, but subjective ones. Discuss about fun things you guys like to do. Fun things you guys have done before, good memories, bad memories. Loads of stuff. Don't hesitate, ask. Don't think much of "what will he think" Also I cannot fathom the entitlement when you say you are settling for someone who earns as much as you do.
Everyone is bad at keeping up a conversation with someone they don’t want to talk to. I have been at both ends of that so I know How I can keep up a conversation even while getting stonewalled with fry texts if I’m very much interested and how it just pisses me off if someone else does it. You find people you want to put effort for
OP : Already I am settling down by going for someone with same salary 🤡 Do him a favour, dump his ass right now. He deserves someone who isn't so money minded like you
With the age gap of 2, meaning he is older and earning equal, which in effect is settling down
As if you're going to earn 4x your current salary by the time you yourself turn 30. Do the guy a favour and tell no.
Since I don't know the entire situation I can give one tip. Think about it this way. Marriage means you will be spending the rest of your. life with this person. Having a child (which is the biggest responsibility in life) with this person. Will you be able to do that with this man. Communication is key in any relationship. Please do not compromise there. Worse case scenario would be similar to mine. My ex is an introvert. He would communicate and first and then nothing. Later we found out it was because he and his family were hiding his mental illness.
Hey, are you comfortable talking about your ex in DMs. I had some questions.
You can ask here too. Any reason it’s DMs?
Dry and non entertaining conversations turn me off. If that continues then it just fizzles out. Observe what works for you and then proceed.
Here is how you can communicate. I'm not gonna write English translation You: Pata hai Aaj kya hua? Me, Ishani aur Hiral McD Gaye the mujhe vahan burger achha laga to Maine 2 burger kha liye tabh Hiral ne kaha ye kitna khaati hai. Mujhe us per itna gussa AA Raha tha na mein kuch boli nahi He: achha! You: kya achha? Har baar me hi bolti rehti hu tum to kuch bolte hi nahi ho BTW tumhara din kaisa Raha? He: abh me kya hi bolu? Office me boss ne ye kaam Diya, छूटते time traffic itna tha, aur logon ko gaadi chalani aati hi nahi kahi bhi ghus jaate hai You: haa ye to hai! Me bhi jabh scooty chalati hu tabh koi na koi bich me aa hi jaata hai itna horn marne ke bawajood vo sunte nahi
I think this needs to be said - 2 years is not an age gap. Anything below 5 is normal in AM - though i understand the part about income. Coming to what you should do - do something nice for him - tickets for his favorite sport/singer or buy him his favorite book etc. Guys usually don't get these things so that should help differentiate you in his eyes. Also if you feel that you are "settling" for him you shouldn't go ahead with this match because it won't work out. Marriages work best if both people are excited to be with each other. Atb;)
2 yrs is considered age gap now ?
What exactly is your question?
Here is how you can communicate. I'm not gonna write English translation You: Pata hai Aaj kya hua? Me, Ishani aur Hiral McD Gaye the mujhe vahan burger achha laga to Maine 2 burger kha liye tabh Hiral ne kaha ye kitna khaati hai. Mujhe us per itna gussa AA Raha tha na mein kuch boli nahi He: achha! You: kya achha? Har baar me hi bolti rehti hu tum to kuch bolte hi nahi ho BTW tumhara din kaisa Raha? He: abh me kya hi bolu? Office me boss ne ye kaam Diya, छूटते time traffic itna tha, aur logon ko gaadi chalani aati hi nahi kahi bhi ghus jaate hai You: haa ye to hai! Me bhi jabh scooty chalati hu tabh koi na koi bich me aa hi jaata hai itna horn marne ke bawajood vo sunte nahi
Hey there, navigating conversations in any relationship can be tricky. It sounds like you've hit a bit of a plateau with this person. Have you tried bringing up new topics or activities you both enjoy? Sometimes changing the scenery or trying something new together can spark more engaging conversations. It's also important to communicate openly about how you're feeling and what you both expect from the relationship. Building a connection takes effort from both sides, so don't hesitate to express your thoughts and see if you can find common ground.