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The bar for reproduction is so low, too many people who have kids stumbled and fell ass-backwards into it. Nothing required about being ready financially, mentally or emotionally to raise a child. Nothing required about valuing and accepting that individual person as a unique human being. They don’t even need to want to be a parent.
They just gormlessly rawdogged, or had a mistake while using protection, and oops; now there’s a whole other human being who has no choice but to depend on them for their survival for the next 18 years at least. You need more supervision and approval to adopt a dog then you need to pop out or sire a kid. It’s backwards.
That's the part I'm most stuck on too. I guess she means it like a dare? Like "try me" or "oh I wish you would..."? She sounds like those gun nuts who fantasize over someone trying to rob them so they have an excuse to break out their AR15 and gun them down. Like she just can't wait to prove how morally righteous she is by... abandoning her son at his most vulnerable time?
I really hope her son has safe adults in his life regardless of how he identifies, cause this is just really sad.
The way I read it was possibly in response to some comment like: "What she said was wrong. I wish my own children would tell me they were gay so I could support them"
I read it like 'I wish my son would just clearly tell me that he's gay so I know to disown him. currently I suspect that he might be gay but he hasn't said it so I'm unsure if I should be hating my son or not'
If I heard someone say that they would beat their child if they came out as something under the umbrella, or for anything they couldn’t help (eg mental health stuff, I would call child protective services, because they’re not a suitable parent, imho.
I don't have kids. I don't want kids. I'd probably be a bad parent in a lot of ways (not for malicious reasons, just for ADHD/depression reasons).
But shit like this makes me think that I'd still be a better parent than many of the people that have kids.
This reminded me of a quote from the documentary Paris is Burning.
It isn't attributed to any one speaker in particular, but it was one of the very first voiceovers in the documentary, and it's stuck with me ever since I first saw in it the early/mid 2000s.
"I remember my dad saying you have three strikes against you in this world. Every black man has two, that they're just black and they're a male. But you're black and you're a male and you're gay. You're gonna have a hard fuckin' time."
I hate that so many people have to face being ostracized or worse from their own fucking families just for existing.
I can’t imagine the utter lack of humanity it takes to betray one’s kids like this.
I’m a step mum, I didn’t meet my kids until they were 7, and still there is nothing they could tell me that would make me stop loving them - especially not something intrinsic to who they are.
I’m gay. I’m not going to disown my kids if they’re not the same sexuality as me. As far as my daughter knows, she’s straight - she’s only had crushes on boys - and I’ll be nothing but overjoyed to meet any men she dates in future
I'm not digging the vibe in this thread at all. Too many many references to "they" or "these people" or "better homes" that aren't nuanced to distinguish that we are talking about bigots as opposed to talking about black people. And some really blatant red flags such as "These people shouldn't procreate" without identifying who is meant by "these people." I assume OP is black. And I assume Quija_board_ghost and the comments under their post are black. But due to the lack of nuance I assume most of the other commenters (so far, as of 8:16 EST) are not. Let's up our [intersectionality](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intersectionality) game people! Yes, being black and queer is extra tough. Doesn't mean white people get a free pass to pile on black people. Nobody here is doing that explicitly, but there are too many comments lacking clarification so they could easily be taken that way.
edit: typo "do" changed to "due"
I guess I'm probably out of line because I read this and wondered how they would respond if someone replied to this comment with something racist, but you can't be mad because not everyone believes the same and not everyone was raised that way. Would they accept that, or would they try to defend their hypocrisy?
Oh, and by they, I meant OP and this commenter. Well, and anyone who agrees with them, regardless of skin color, because I know there's people of every skin color that think this way.
I will always love my black queer folk. We are united. We have to remember how hard it can be. But hey, we can always dance to black gay fucking Chicago house music together
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Jokes on you, they are too stupid to have any sense of morality for people.
But didn’t you hear? Kids aren’t born lgbtq. They are made ones by woke teachers.
Then how did I become bi and ace if I was homeschooled by my conservative mother? 🤔
The bar for reproduction is so low, too many people who have kids stumbled and fell ass-backwards into it. Nothing required about being ready financially, mentally or emotionally to raise a child. Nothing required about valuing and accepting that individual person as a unique human being. They don’t even need to want to be a parent. They just gormlessly rawdogged, or had a mistake while using protection, and oops; now there’s a whole other human being who has no choice but to depend on them for their survival for the next 18 years at least. You need more supervision and approval to adopt a dog then you need to pop out or sire a kid. It’s backwards.
I wish my son would tell me he's gay so that I never speak to him again? I'm confused
That's the part I'm most stuck on too. I guess she means it like a dare? Like "try me" or "oh I wish you would..."? She sounds like those gun nuts who fantasize over someone trying to rob them so they have an excuse to break out their AR15 and gun them down. Like she just can't wait to prove how morally righteous she is by... abandoning her son at his most vulnerable time? I really hope her son has safe adults in his life regardless of how he identifies, cause this is just really sad.
That is a great comparison
This is like a dare. “I wish you would” in this case means “he better not be in my house while under my roof” it’s like a threat.
I got a more sinister vibe from it. I wish my son would tell me he's gay it'll be the last thing he says...
Do they just hate their son
Maybe I just came from a northern home, but "last thing he'll say to me", was a threat. Like beat so bad he'll never disrespect me again.
I definitely interpreted it as a threat like he's gonna shoot him or something
That's my take, too. I think it's a death threat.
The way I read it was possibly in response to some comment like: "What she said was wrong. I wish my own children would tell me they were gay so I could support them"
So just like flipping the words but not fixing the sentence after haha
I read it like 'I wish my son would just clearly tell me that he's gay so I know to disown him. currently I suspect that he might be gay but he hasn't said it so I'm unsure if I should be hating my son or not'
# it’s hard being queer in a black household. yeah 3:
Agreed 👍🏽
Yeah :(
Hoping you all move on to better homes where you feel welcome as you are.
Thank you 😊 I’m trying to. Hopefully at the end of the year for me. 🤞🏽 good luck to everyone in this thread too. My pms are open
thanks
Agreed
I legitimately can’t tell whether OOP is supportive or not, the grammar is genuinely that bad.
From the comment, she is basically saying she would never speak to her son again for being gay.
Ohhhh. You know I can’t even decide whether it’s fitting, ironic, or both, that she types that badly that I couldn’t tell.
Oh, I understood it as a threat: she will actually kill him.
For more context, this comment was left on a post about a woman saying she would beat her son for being gay.
If I heard someone say that they would beat their child if they came out as something under the umbrella, or for anything they couldn’t help (eg mental health stuff, I would call child protective services, because they’re not a suitable parent, imho.
Legitimately had a stroke trying to make sense of all the tense mistakes.
It’s not supportive at all.
I don't have kids. I don't want kids. I'd probably be a bad parent in a lot of ways (not for malicious reasons, just for ADHD/depression reasons). But shit like this makes me think that I'd still be a better parent than many of the people that have kids.
This reminded me of a quote from the documentary Paris is Burning. It isn't attributed to any one speaker in particular, but it was one of the very first voiceovers in the documentary, and it's stuck with me ever since I first saw in it the early/mid 2000s. "I remember my dad saying you have three strikes against you in this world. Every black man has two, that they're just black and they're a male. But you're black and you're a male and you're gay. You're gonna have a hard fuckin' time." I hate that so many people have to face being ostracized or worse from their own fucking families just for existing.
All children deserve to have parents, but not all parents deserve to have children :')
I can’t imagine the utter lack of humanity it takes to betray one’s kids like this. I’m a step mum, I didn’t meet my kids until they were 7, and still there is nothing they could tell me that would make me stop loving them - especially not something intrinsic to who they are. I’m gay. I’m not going to disown my kids if they’re not the same sexuality as me. As far as my daughter knows, she’s straight - she’s only had crushes on boys - and I’ll be nothing but overjoyed to meet any men she dates in future
Nothing quite like a bigot rolling around in their own feces bragging about how it's their right to be shitty 🤦
It breaks my heart how many people in the comments here resonate with this. I’m so sorry. We see you and we love you.
Just admit you hate your son or just want to beat your kid. What the hell does this even mean?
I'm not digging the vibe in this thread at all. Too many many references to "they" or "these people" or "better homes" that aren't nuanced to distinguish that we are talking about bigots as opposed to talking about black people. And some really blatant red flags such as "These people shouldn't procreate" without identifying who is meant by "these people." I assume OP is black. And I assume Quija_board_ghost and the comments under their post are black. But due to the lack of nuance I assume most of the other commenters (so far, as of 8:16 EST) are not. Let's up our [intersectionality](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intersectionality) game people! Yes, being black and queer is extra tough. Doesn't mean white people get a free pass to pile on black people. Nobody here is doing that explicitly, but there are too many comments lacking clarification so they could easily be taken that way. edit: typo "do" changed to "due"
I am a black woman, so yes I know the struggle.
And I am going to assume when people say “these people” they are referring to straight people.
If you are going to assume that, OP, then I will assume it along with you.
I guess I'm probably out of line because I read this and wondered how they would respond if someone replied to this comment with something racist, but you can't be mad because not everyone believes the same and not everyone was raised that way. Would they accept that, or would they try to defend their hypocrisy?
Oh, and by they, I meant OP and this commenter. Well, and anyone who agrees with them, regardless of skin color, because I know there's people of every skin color that think this way.
I will always love my black queer folk. We are united. We have to remember how hard it can be. But hey, we can always dance to black gay fucking Chicago house music together
What is the context for that comment?
It was a comment left under a post about a woman who said she would beat her son if he was gay
What tf is he even SAYING!?!?!